Comments on: Say Hello To The Bad Guy: Death of the “Nice Guy” http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/ The Source For Black Male Perspective Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:03:52 +0000 hourly 1 By: Chauncey Sniderhttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-21135 Chauncey Snider Wed, 12 Nov 2008 16:31:07 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-21135 kvkelhhn3utdrwey kvkelhhn3utdrwey

]]> By: Hasanihttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-891 Hasani Sun, 30 Mar 2008 22:40:03 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-891 like clockwork, I just got a text message from the first white woman I went out on a dat ewith since being single. she slept with me, and then she wanted nothing to do with me after filling my head with how great of a man i am and how she always wanted a relationship with a guy like me. so she sends me a text to find out how my new job is.... chickenhead much? theres no new job, I just said that to her a few months back to see if she would cluck... (and she has) every time I get good and setteled with a date or two she will pop in just to see how my progress is and ask if I want to come by like im some type of yo yo. see thats why we go bad. when we are nice they treat us bad, as soon as we dont need them they want us, and everyone is always running some type of game... sheesh like clockwork, I just got a text message from the first white woman I went out on a dat ewith since being single. she slept with me, and then she wanted nothing to do with me after filling my head with how great of a man i am and how she always wanted a relationship with a guy like me. so she sends me a text to find out how my new job is…. chickenhead much? theres no new job, I just said that to her a few months back to see if she would cluck… (and she has)

every time I get good and setteled with a date or two she will pop in just to see how my progress is and ask if I want to come by like im some type of yo yo. see thats why we go bad. when we are nice they treat us bad, as soon as we dont need them they want us, and everyone is always running some type of game… sheesh

]]> By: Haddassahhttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-870 Haddassah Thu, 27 Mar 2008 01:33:14 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-870 If you realized you could do less and get more … isn’t it human nature to make that transition? ah, yes it human nature to make that transition but it also depends if its getting that more benefits me in a good/ bad way. LOL @ hasani asking why is it women only want what they cant have, but hate what they get once they get it? 1. Thrill behind it ( getting what you cant have) 2. The hope that they will fall in love with you eventually. 3. women want what other women want 4.They dont want nice guys cause they can have em all the time 5.they want something they cannot have and are afraid of losing 6. They are not looking for attachment sorry sbm i am answering questions addressed to u lol. If you realized you could do less and get more … isn’t it human nature to make that transition?

ah, yes it human nature to make that transition but it also depends if its getting that more benefits me in a good/ bad way.

LOL @ hasani asking why is it women only want what they cant have, but hate what they get once they get it?

1. Thrill behind it ( getting what you cant have)

2. The hope that they will fall in love with you eventually.

3. women want what other women want

4.They dont want nice guys cause they can have em all the time

5.they want something they cannot have and are afraid of losing

6. They are not looking for attachment

sorry sbm i am answering questions addressed to u lol.

]]> By: Hasanihttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-863 Hasani Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:49:32 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-863 not only is it human nature but its natural selection, or evolution. The woman who I have dated who likes me the most is the one I told from the start, you and your 2 kids and 2 babby daddy havin self are not going to stay long but we can go on ONE date.... yeah I said that 3 months ago and shes fiercely nice to me and very determined to date me week after week. yet another sista that I view as an absolute queen and I admit I have her on a pedistal... yeah she wont call me more than once per week and only goes out with me once per week. A woman with 2 kids 2 jobs and friends finds time to call me everyday all day but the woman whom I treat like a crown princess who has no social friends, no job (in school) and no kids cant find time to call me more than once per week. yeah I am slowly starting to get annoyed with miss princess and I bet as I am darker towards her she will be nicer to me. why is it women only want what they cant have, but hate what they get once they get it? not only is it human nature but its natural selection, or evolution. The woman who I have dated who likes me the most is the one I told from the start, you and your 2 kids and 2 babby daddy havin self are not going to stay long but we can go on ONE date…. yeah I said that 3 months ago and shes fiercely nice to me and very determined to date me week after week. yet another sista that I view as an absolute queen and I admit I have her on a pedistal… yeah she wont call me more than once per week and only goes out with me once per week. A woman with 2 kids 2 jobs and friends finds time to call me everyday all day but the woman whom I treat like a crown princess who has no social friends, no job (in school) and no kids cant find time to call me more than once per week.

yeah I am slowly starting to get annoyed with miss princess and I bet as I am darker towards her she will be nicer to me. why is it women only want what they cant have, but hate what they get once they get it?

]]> By: SBMhttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-845 SBM Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:44:29 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-845 @Hasani: I would pay money to see that movie. Especially since you have white and black women involved. I'm shocked that these older white women are out here like guys. Using you for dates is nothing new, but dipping after they get the "D" ... wow.@Haddassah: I like that experimenting hypothesis. Sadly, I know I have done that with two different other races ... just to see if the grass was greener (or at least brazillian waxed).Can't feel you on being a sissy for turning "bad". If you realized you could do less and get more ... isn't it human nature to make that transition? @Hasani: I would pay money to see that movie. Especially since you have white and black women involved. I’m shocked that these older white women are out here like guys. Using you for dates is nothing new, but dipping after they get the “D” … wow.

@Haddassah: I like that experimenting hypothesis. Sadly, I know I have done that with two different other races … just to see if the grass was greener (or at least brazillian waxed).

Can’t feel you on being a sissy for turning “bad”. If you realized you could do less and get more … isn’t it human nature to make that transition?

]]> By: Hasanihttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-842 Hasani Wed, 26 Mar 2008 05:21:36 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-842 you see, im a realist. and also a man. if they had come at me saying like the canadian men said to you... oh I saw will smith in I am legend and I always wondered....." hell I have been in a relationship for 10 years I wouldnt turn down sex. but my problem is intent and deception. my mom tells me its because no woman wants to look like a slut by asking for sex , eventhough thats the only thing they want.I would be ok with a simple take me to bed, but to have me take you on dates and tell me its going someplace and then as soon as you get the goods I dont hear from you the next day/week or month is unfair. the last one let me take her on 10 dates and told me how much she "REALLY" liked me, and I come to find out she is married and going back to her husband!!!!!!??? so no, I know I hate when white people tag all black men with what they see on TV or in the news.... but I am seriously cutting out white women unless they are (perfect 10's lets not be stupid here) getting burned 4 times in a row even a baby knows not to but his hand on the stove anymore. hows that for irony. women in their 30's in the year 2008 are like men in the 70's 80's and 90's!! oh how times change things you see, im a realist. and also a man.

if they had come at me saying like the canadian men said to you… oh I saw will smith in I am legend and I always wondered….."

hell I have been in a relationship for 10 years I wouldnt turn down sex. but my problem is intent and deception. my mom tells me its because no woman wants to look like a slut by asking for sex , eventhough thats the only thing they want.I would be ok with a simple take me to bed, but to have me take you on dates and tell me its going someplace and then as soon as you get the goods I dont hear from you the next day/week or month is unfair. the last one let me take her on 10 dates and told me how much she "REALLY" liked me, and I come to find out she is married and going back to her husband!!!!!!???

so no, I know I hate when white people tag all black men with what they see on TV or in the news…. but I am seriously cutting out white women unless they are (perfect 10's lets not be stupid here) getting burned 4 times in a row even a baby knows not to but his hand on the stove anymore.

hows that for irony. women in their 30's in the year 2008 are like men in the 70's 80's and 90's!! oh how times change things

]]> By: Haddassahhttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-839 Haddassah Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:52:09 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-839 Hihihihi! Hasani have ever thought they would be experimenting, like being with a black guy because I know here in Canada some of the white guys tell you straight the reason they want to get with you is cause black girls have big behinds and they wanna try to get down with some black meat. "So then what is at the core of the “problem”? 1. Some Women are imprudent. We know some men are treating us like expired products but we do not face the problem head on, we make excuses for their behaviour. We are not honest with ourselves and we do not love ourselves 2. Some men too are the problem. I think I saw this somewhere here on the comments section of why the hell is a good guy looking for a nice girl among women who have no idea who they are,looking for women in all the wrong places "You are who you attract." Is it valid to think a nice guy is a sissy? And then can you really get mad at him when he starts acting an ass because it gets him more women. I think the problem is generally race neutral, but I think it does affect black more often … sadly." Its not valid to call a nice guy a sissy. But I think its valid enough to call him a sissy when he changes from good to bad in my personal opinion. He just as confused as the the girl who thinks a nice guy is bad. Hihihihi! Hasani have ever thought they would be experimenting, like being with a black guy because I know here in Canada some of the white guys tell you straight the reason they want to get with you is cause black girls have big behinds and they wanna try to get down with some black meat.

"So then what is at the core of the “problem”?

1. Some Women are imprudent. We know some men are treating us like expired products but we do not face the problem head on, we make excuses for their behaviour. We are not honest with ourselves and we do not love ourselves

2. Some men too are the problem. I think I saw this somewhere here on the comments section of why the hell is a good guy looking for a nice girl among women who have no idea who they are,looking for women in all the wrong places "You are who you attract."

Is it valid to think a nice guy is a sissy? And then can you really get mad at him when he starts acting an ass because it gets him more women. I think the problem is generally race neutral, but I think it does affect black more often … sadly."

Its not valid to call a nice guy a sissy. But I think its valid enough to call him a sissy when he changes from good to bad in my personal opinion. He just as confused as the the girl who thinks a nice guy is bad.

]]> By: Hasanihttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-838 Hasani Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:14:52 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-838 SBM I have started to doccument my dating life. im going to write an editorial or a sitcom when its all done, but cant decide on which. If a single white male can make an entire movie out of going out on 20 first dates, imagine a single 30 black male and 31 first dates! whats funny is, I go into all the dates thinking it can work, and always try for a 2nd date nomatter how bad she does or I do.... butmy theory is that women in the north east really want to stay single unless its "rogue single guy" or "joe thug/shareef Hood" bad boy types, or Denzel washington himself. I myself was upset after losing my Ex, hell it was 1/3 of my life with her, but I wasnt bitter or jaded towards women. in truth, after being in a relationship that long all I know/knew was to worship a woman like she was the be all end all. whats made me bitter has been my life dating women SINCE my breakup. dont get any older my brother, it gets harder and more darker as you age. and if I can be a tad racist for a minute, the WHITE WOMEN are the worst. I have been out with 5 white women in the past 7 months. all have taken me to bed and wanted nothing to do with me afterwards, but would talk all the junk in the world about how they always wanted to meet a nice guy like me, and they needed a good man in their lives. all of which seemed to fly out the window the morning after the first orgasm came. I really have felt "used" by that praticular group, so I am staying away from the 19-37 white women for the forseeable future. SBM

I have started to doccument my dating life. im going to write an editorial or a sitcom when its all done, but cant decide on which. If a single white male can make an entire movie out of going out on 20 first dates, imagine a single 30 black male and 31 first dates!

whats funny is, I go into all the dates thinking it can work, and always try for a 2nd date nomatter how bad she does or I do…. butmy theory is that women in the north east really want to stay single unless its "rogue single guy" or "joe thug/shareef Hood" bad boy types, or Denzel washington himself.

I myself was upset after losing my Ex, hell it was 1/3 of my life with her, but I wasnt bitter or jaded towards women. in truth, after being in a relationship that long all I know/knew was to worship a woman like she was the be all end all. whats made me bitter has been my life dating women SINCE my breakup.

dont get any older my brother, it gets harder and more darker as you age. and if I can be a tad racist for a minute, the WHITE WOMEN are the worst. I have been out with 5 white women in the past 7 months. all have taken me to bed and wanted nothing to do with me afterwards, but would talk all the junk in the world about how they always wanted to meet a nice guy like me, and they needed a good man in their lives. all of which seemed to fly out the window the morning after the first orgasm came. I really have felt "used" by that praticular group, so I am staying away from the 19-37 white women for the forseeable future.

]]> By: SBMhttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-832 SBM Tue, 25 Mar 2008 10:53:46 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-832 @Haddassah: So then what is at the core of the "problem"? Is it valid to think a nice guy is a sissy? And then can you really get mad at him when he starts acting an ass because it gets him more women. I think the problem is generally race neutral, but I think it does affect black more often ... sadly. @Hasani: I have felt the pain. I haven't dated anyone for that long of a time and found my inner ass around 23, so it hasn't been to bad. Its a shame I can't be the nice guy I used to be. @Haddassah: So then what is at the core of the "problem"? Is it valid to think a nice guy is a sissy? And then can you really get mad at him when he starts acting an ass because it gets him more women. I think the problem is generally race neutral, but I think it does affect black more often … sadly.

@Hasani: I have felt the pain. I haven't dated anyone for that long of a time and found my inner ass around 23, so it hasn't been to bad. Its a shame I can't be the nice guy I used to be.

]]> By: Hasanihttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-831 Hasani Tue, 25 Mar 2008 06:51:50 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/03/21/say-hello-to-the-bad-guy-men-get-no-breaks-in-romance/#comment-831 I think it depends on WHERE you live and what the lifestyle is like. I myself am slowly turning to the darkside. so I can feel you SBM. Im 30 and had dated the "trophy" white woman for 10 years of my life til recently. So since I havent dates since clinton was re elected to office, adn I havent dates a sista since HIGHSCHOOL... I have been out here trying to date. I have met or gotten the number of 31 women since last june. how many am I currently still seeing? only two. Im already house broken, so most love me at first glance but it seriously seems that once they find I am no roughneck or badboy they bolt. The most common reason I get is "your too nice" and the ever famous "its not you , its me Im just not ready to date" and then you see them out at the bar next week or online the next day. Hell I even see my sister using the same logic. She meets a nice doofy square brotha like myself and she claims there was just no "chemestry" between them. seems the word chemestry is a female proxy for no intrest due to him being not elusive enough. just as the word "clingy" is like too nice and attentive. I too have badboy male friends and its crazy to watch the biggest manhoe I know get all the ladies swooning over him yet the nice guys i know get no play. to me it seems the sucessful sista of today in the north east is perfectly content with her E lynn harris books and a warm spot on the couch. unless its a rogue brotha that they want to jump up and chase for fun, the sex in the city/ living single mentality is the trump card up here. Im just not sure I can be good much longer, I become more and more jaded each week. I think it depends on WHERE you live and what the lifestyle is like. I myself am slowly turning to the darkside. so I can feel you SBM. Im 30 and had dated the "trophy" white woman for 10 years of my life til recently. So since I havent dates since clinton was re elected to office, adn I havent dates a sista since HIGHSCHOOL… I have been out here trying to date. I have met or gotten the number of 31 women since last june. how many am I currently still seeing? only two. Im already house broken, so most love me at first glance but it seriously seems that once they find I am no roughneck or badboy they bolt. The most common reason I get is "your too nice" and the ever famous "its not you , its me Im just not ready to date" and then you see them out at the bar next week or online the next day.

Hell I even see my sister using the same logic. She meets a nice doofy square brotha like myself and she claims there was just no "chemestry" between them. seems the word chemestry is a female proxy for no intrest due to him being not elusive enough. just as the word "clingy" is like too nice and attentive.

I too have badboy male friends and its crazy to watch the biggest manhoe I know get all the ladies swooning over him yet the nice guys i know get no play.

to me it seems the sucessful sista of today in the north east is perfectly content with her E lynn harris books and a warm spot on the couch. unless its a rogue brotha that they want to jump up and chase for fun, the sex in the city/ living single mentality is the trump card up here.

Im just not sure I can be good much longer, I become more and more jaded each week.

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