There isn't just one, there are the ones who take you through the bad times, the ones for right now, and the one you can make a future with. And they rarely come prepackaged the way we hope, and generally are exchangeable.

***chalk this random commenting up to insomnia, it was either this or youtubing all night***

Maybe there isn't a soul mate for everyone. I think I met my soul mate when I was 13 yrs old and we became best friends. However, I our dating relationship didn't begin till I was 19 and ended after 6yrs, almost 2yrs ago. For a while I thought I would never find anyone else that I could connect with on the level that he and I did. Or find anyone that would understand and support me the way he did. After slowly coming around and really learning who I am and what I wanted that concept changed.

I believe that I will find plenty of men I will connect with. I don't think its more so a soul mate for everyone. I think you find someone that you connect with on a spiritual,emotional, and phyisical level and love them enough to say… 'We may not be perfect but we will work to do our best in this relationship because we love and are committed to each other and this relationship'.

and here I think I sound all standard and like a typical moron that I am 0_o

I think Im pretty standard, 30 years old 10 year relationship, live together for 5 now single for 8 months. I had a puertorican jump off when it was trendy for black men to date butter ricans, I had a thick white corporate "trophy" piece for the past 10 years since it was what was trendy. I should be looking for my new trendy asian woman and breed my tiger woods jr but I have a huge weakness for black women and african women its throwing a monkey wrench in that idea

I think we can partner with anyone but your body wont let you become 100% devoted more than once in your life. its instinct.

SBM, yeah mon, love I mean that REAL love, is to the point of madness (in hindsight) and blind faith. you almost have to have blind faith since your trusting half of your life with someone else.. ya know? I mean dont get me wrong, I used to be in the club and in the "streets" tryin to hollar at the girls like any man should at the age, but I found a great woman and decided to setle down. you cant go half azz with it when you decide to do it, and are in love and want to build with someone.

@CV

"isn’t being with someone who isn’t going to give you what you want and need cheating yourself and that other person"

no, not in my opinion. if I have a woman whom I have a child with and decide I am going to co habitate to raise my child but run into someone who gives me "golden pussy" and I take advantage of the offer for "golden goodies" but still hold down my duty as head of my household its not cheating myself. CHEATING YOURSELF would be to turn away from your duty just because the situation isnt 100% ideal for YOU. IMO thats the problem with our community. you got too many dudes thinking like women. and forgetting about "duty" and jumping to what pleases them at the time.

"It sounds like you’re treating marriage and companionship as a job"

it IS… your female arent you. see you wouldnt understand it or look at it the same way as I do so I wouldnt even bother to explain. your companionship IS a job. running your household IS a job. and when you devote yourself (by marriage or just commitment) its your duty to protect that person for the betterment of the group, not just yourself.

"Shouldn’t you be getting a kick out of who you spend your time with…and fulfill yourself to the point where it sounds like you once were? "

Sorry I dont understand the question. but yes you should get a kick out of who u spend your time with.

"Have you ever considered that you may have reached the 85% or 90% mark with the last one…and you can reach an even higher plane"

if you burn your hand 80 to 90% are you going to but your hand on the stove again and keep it there to be burned 100%? no, your body wont let you. you will be able to put your hands close to the stove, and keep yourself warm… you will enjoy the heat and feel cumfort by it. but your body by evolution willl not let you get burned twice much less get burned worse. if we didnt have this instinct we wouldnt be alive and our race (the human one) would be with the do do bird.

"I’m not disagreeing with what you said " sure you are…

"because I don’t know it all about that situation, its just my 2 cens." men and women see things in seperate lights. your much more intelligent and beautiful than I will ever be…… but my view is mine… simplistic to me yet complex to you because i see it thry my own eyes.

"When you govern yourself honestly, and in the way that you love…then the people you meet will often be a reflection of that. I still think meeting significant others is fate…but fate is also what we make of it. I don’t mean to get serious but its the truth. "

yep, your a woman alright. thats a bit too philosophical and abstract for my tastes. And the fate is real but what u make of it sounds like hallmark cardness. you do what you do, very very few things happen by fate and fate is random luck of the universe not something you can control, and not what u make of it.

I think the term "soulmate" is a misnomer. I don't think it's about the other person at all but about how you feel them.

The real problem is that we are conditioned to go "looking" for them instead of enjoying life for the SELF-discovery it should be.

I agree with SBM on most of the post…and each little thing that you do is something that ultimately leads you to find these people that will potentially make you happy.

When you govern yourself honestly, and in the way that you love…then the people you meet will often be a reflection of that. I still think meeting significant others is fate…but fate is also what we make of it. I don't mean to get serious but its the truth.

And SBM…knowing when to properly apply the "ass-holish" element just means you know what the f*ck you're doing.