All she needs … Two Things!

I was talking with a friend and she told me something very interesting. Something that was so interesting I figured I would share it with you all … my family.

She decided to explain to me the two things that women need. I asked “only two things … you gotta be kidding me”. She admitted “I can’t speak for everybody … but it only takes two things for a man to keep me happy”. My interest had been piqued at this point and I lean into the phone. I mutter “so tell me … what are the two things to keep a woman happy”. I can almost hear her lean in to whisper this answer to me … I guess she didn’t want the world overhearing me. Mouth watering, possibilities racing through my mind, I await as she opens her mouth. I hear:

“Good sex and head”

I wanted to hang up the phone.

Thats what I was waiting for? Thats the “secret” to keeping a woman happy? I felt bamboozled!

So … being the argumentative asshole that I am, I quickly challenge this statement and poke holes in her “theory”. “So”, I say, “good dick and good head. Really? Thats it”

“Yes. But I will admit … its got to be really good”

“What about if he doesn’t talk? I mean he is emotionally distant, doesn’t ask you ‘how was your day?’, doesn’t care how your feeling, etc.”

“Who cares? We’re just having sex”

Ok … so now I’m starting to think. Maybe this chic is talking about some other stuff. “So … your husband doesn’t need to talk to you? You’re cool with that?”

“Husband. Who said anything about my husband”

“What are you talking about then?”

“I don’t know” She replies kind of blankly.

“All you did was define the requirements for a cut buddy”

This is why girls are dumb and rocks should be thrown at them (no offense to my friend of course).

How long can a guy who really is no good (I mean no job, borrows money, looks at other women, lives at home, and plays xbox 360 all day) stay in your “good graces” if he is providing nothing more than toe curling sex and award winning cunnilingus? I would ask the same question for the guys … but damnit if we don’t all know the answer to that!

About SBM

Sean Blackman has written 397 posts on SBM.

Founder & Creator of SingleBlackMale.org. My healthy obsession with dating, relationships, and trying to identify and address the problems of dating in Black America. I also happen to be a mean sumb*tch who likes to hear himself talk ... but I'm funny though.

Comments

  1. HNIC says:

    precived power is what they need. its not that they are getting great sex from joe thug and shareef hood and jay player.

    I mean.. seriously. do you actually think joe thug is eatin pussy?! hell no. joe thug dosent care about her and slams into the pussy like it was a side piece… because to him it IS a side piece.

    the power or security thing is what they are lookin for, it turns them on. you cant pound them out and keep them…lol.

    There is a lady I totally decimated in bed and she still gave me the "you cant support the liftstyle I deserve" and "your too nice to string along" line.

    i dunno, I wanna see what the women say but from this guy… its wayy off.

  2. Ms. Freckles says:

    I DISAGREE with your lady friend…maybe she was just hinting to you that all she wants from YOU is good sex & head. Women in general (especially myself) require a bit more than simple great sex and a tongue on our clit giving us the ultimate pleasure. Hell, life requires more…so why would a relationship be any different?

    As for girls being dumb and should have rocks thrown at them….you might be right. That's why you shouldn't be messing "girls" and only messing with "WOMEN". Men are such generalist. Geez.

    HNIC – perceived (is how I think you meant to spell it) power is NOT all we need either. Sorry to break it to you.

    It is too early in the morning for these battles to start! lol.

  3. HNIC says:

    RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT. thats why the majority of you always chase men who dont want you?

    thats why I have a core group of 4 friends who are "nice guys" and we are single but our one buddy who is ugly and an absolute whore comes home with women every other weekend?? Preceived power and liking what you cant have… and "the chase"/"the hunt"…. its all the same thing. that is like you guys cryptonite.

    someone tell me black women in general dont have a weakness for power/money im gonna point you to half the post on this board to tell you otherwise. sistas could care less about how its goin down wit the dick game.

  4. mikki says:

    You bet not throw a rock at me, mystery girl has a gun and last time I checked she wasn’t afraid to use it.

    haven’t yall listen to the beyonce song “let me be your suga momma”??? Dude is layin it down there for she takes care of him. The rule doesn’t apply if you’re bad at sex period. I personally plan on becoming a millionaire and if so why do I need you to support me and pay my bills, hell I don’t even need that now or desire for a man to “take care of me”. I don’t expect all the females to agree with me on this I’m 25 I could be way off base, but I once did some retarded things for a dude that put it down for me each and every time, and the only reason he isn’t here today is because he didn’t put it down enough. (cut buddies aren’t consistent) which is why I didn’t say that out right. I got sheqanda that use to be Richard (now gay) that gives me advice on shoes, I got the sperm bank to make a baby, my best friend to listen to me whine about issues at my empire, molly maid to clean my house and ricko to cook, and ray to clean the pool. Why do I need you seriously??? Hasani I think ole girl was lying to you, If you so called date all these successful females why in the world would she ask you to provide for her????

    Don’t hate because your mad your being now used as just a sex toy.

  5. HNIC says:

    from my experience… "why would i want your money if I have my own" dosent apply to the american born black women I have dated. the adage is that they can always have more. if she makes 80k she wants a guy who makes as much more than her as her dad made than her mom. as a woman told me last week straight to my face "I can be broke by myself" (said by a woman making over 70k by the way)

    Mikki, I dont consiter the women I have dated successful. I separate success from pedigrees. a single woman who is 34 has her own condo, a lex, prada wallet and gucci sunglasses is concitered a failure in my eyes. the women I have been dating are all different types. and one thing they all have had in common, they all have a weakness for power/money and perceived comfort .

    oh and yeah I dont like being used as a sex toy. which is why I am trying to avoid dates with white women. I still take dates from anyone but I dont seek hard since i have pretty much been used as a sex toy as of late and am not down with that.

  6. mikki says:

    I feel you Hasani, it must be a black America thing, but I know a lot of females who make 70k who also have 70k in debt and if they quit there job today wouldn’t have two pennies to rub together. But If I am a woman of absolute true wealth then the statement has to hold true. Most women are broke as hell acting like they have money when they don’t. I don’t believe one man fits into every mold I request, yall spit at that idea so If I can pay somebody for the services I require on a daily basis, there isn’t a true need to keep a man around other than for sex, and if he wants to put it down each and every time, hell I will pay you!! I realize its borderline prostitution for a male and yall don’t want to be that.

  7. HNIC says:

    women still ARE borderline prostitution. I have yet to hear any of you claim you want a broke happy guy who treats you nice and hasa great smile.

    job, money, car, and "education" all = money and thats pretty much what most of you ask for in your cries for men.

  8. And the code cracker award goes to….drum roll….Ms. Freckles. Married women I guess are the new cocaine sike. I think Married people period are everyone's right of passage (that probably would have been a better post).

    anyway….Hasani…Hasani I totally disagree. But I can't play with yall like I used to, cause I got big girl work to do, which begs the question that after weeks and weeks of this back and forth PARTICULARLY to Hasani, you always talking about money. Yes money is nice, in fact its a comfort to know you can make it (and save a little too go…. AXSYS which is up more than 25% in the last two months but my azz dumped it at 15%)…anyway you have ALOT of time to spend here and kick the billyboweavel, that time could be spent in making some money. The problem is you are resentful that there are enterprising women (who are not broke by any stretch of the imagination) who have momentarily made you feel good about your boy toy status. But you want more ALL around. And this is life, you got to be able to bring more than your boy scout badge if you are pursuing and attracting women in the six figures. Thats just reality dear. You don't have to be a boardroom type dude, but you better be cooking up some profitable internet business to keep that kind of woman's crock pot hot.

    Lastly that is just the entry fee…after that everything else is negotiable.

  9. Teacia says:

    Okay so the chic in question is the reason we can't seem to get ahead with the fellas(no pun intended). It was a dumb statement probably intended to seduce you, which ultimately failed. I don't have a long drawn out thought about your question. I kind of agree with Hasani on this one, most women:black, white, asian and hispanic want more than what we have and we want for our men to provide it. It's almost like we want the chilvary of the 50's with the perks of the new millenium.

    I personally wouldn't be satisfied with good head and dick for longer than a few weeks, then again a man couldn't even get that far with me without the conversation and caring first. So if for some reason after the sex the feelings subsided, then so will I.

  10. Teacia says:

    @Comeback: I didn't even see your post until now and I have to agree with you as well. Stop complaining and step your game up…it's as simple as that.

  11. mikki says:

    Hasani again if I was rich, it wouldn’t matter if you had a job, or car, or an education, I don’t need you to speak and eat my cookie!! If I want to have a conversation with intelligent life I would hit up my local NESBE chapter or NAACP association, my point is I can fulfill myself with all other aspects of life when I have money. If I am broke 9 times outta 10 I am going to rely on you for more than just the sexual aspect of our relationship I am not talking about the average female, hell im average and I don’t have shit, but it wont be forever, and once I get to where I need to be financially I will become a suga momma pay for good sex and pay for 10 other people to do all my work for me.

    Lets hear what others have to say

    I am the girl in question yall better stop hating!!! sike say what yall want I am not mad you guys are all brain washed lol

  12. mikki says:

    and yes i secretly want to seduce SBM

    BAWAHHHHAA!!

  13. Teacia says:

    well so much for that being a secret…lol…sbm the official blogpimp of 2k8!!

  14. gigi says:

    Those two things only make a woman complacent.

  15. "well so much for that being a secret…lol…sbm the official blogpimp of 2k8!!"

    get um how you can, I'm not mad….just surprised. Its like Desmond Tutu going to a strip club. Guess its those damn blog goggles. "People are people all over the world" LOL who sang that song.

  16. I'm actually learning ALOT about people who I pegged one way…and I was WRONG all the way around for better and for worse….

    those are my closing remarks.

  17. mikki says:

    lol Teacia

    all im saying is if i had the world at my finger tips, didnt need or want for any thing financially (seriously) what would be the point of having a man for other than sex?? Good sex I mean.

    If yall can answer me that question I would shut up about it, i really was not trying to be funny I was dead serious and only serious because i am basing it off my past sexual encounters with men. The ones that really put it down my dying wish was only that i could have it more than once or twice a month. I didn't have any other wishes for old boy cuz everything else i was doing on my own.

    I am young maybe im misquided but yall sistas should be here to help me right?

  18. mikki says:

    misguided**

  19. Depeche Mode..answered my own damn question.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Xf9_9ZwqNI

  20. Teacia says:

    @Comeback: I love you much gurl but you are a damn fool…lol…one time for being random this morning…lol.

    @Mikki: Miss lady everything you speak has a lot to do with a lack of maturity…not trying to upset you or offend you but really, men being used as a means for sexual gratification is not enough to make the world go around, despite what they may think about the capabilities of their johnsons. Yes, as you get older and experience more that life has to offer including the struggles and the triumphs you will see that having a partner is more important that having an on demand dick. You know those days when you get home from work just drained mentally and emotionally, there's nothing like a good man to just hug you…i'm talking just hold you tight and suck all of the negative energy out of you and just fill you up with love girl…man it's a beautiful thing. Have you ever hugged someone and they didn't let go first? Ok, so I'm getting all love jones on yall…my point, men bring more to a relationship than money and sex.

    But you won't understand this until you fully experience it.

  21. mikki says:

    Nope Teacia I am not mad girlfriend trust me, and you might be right it very well could be lack of maturity. But when you deal with constant bs all day every day from men people at work ect… I feel like who needs em??? I have gotten far less hugs than I have gotten into arguments about dumb ish, about where you are at 10pm or why you didn’t send me chocolates on valentines day or why your momma don’t like me and the list goes on. Right now all that is not worth going through the time and effort it takes to be happy with a man. All im saying is that if I was rich (which yall keep leaving out) I would find other ways to make myself happy. If we all had the happy love jones type stories to share we all would not be here now would we???

  22. ***putting my blog goggles back on*** so wait Mikki, you are the mystery girl in question????? You did seem Really super attached to the answer and to it all working out for your "friend" with all the excitement you had perculating….I would go with Teacia's above comments…because if I take my blog goggles off and write what I really feel about this (read VSB for better clarification) it might be bad..umm…not good.

    so go with Teacia she had a very nice and objective response. Sometimes we can't handle straight no chaser. Teacia gave you a vodka with equal amounts of tonic.

  23. mikki says:

    I can take what ever yall so call dishing out I am not 12. The subject was meant to be lighthearted and funny but since yall want to get all deep with it why stop now.

  24. HNIC says:

    mm Im not resentfulof the enterprising black woman… i pity her because she has ost her foundation of what once made our culture unique and strong.

    As I say this… you are typing to me "you ucoulda been out makin money" fuck money. Black people dont need more money, we need to be happy with eachother…. or just happy period. I could say the inverse to you. work on building a home MORE than building a career… thats the reason why you work. yall got shit so twisted and it comes out in every post you make.

    Home >career

    Love >> Money

    dem mexicans are broke as fuck laughing at yo ass because 6 of them are all living in a 2 bedroom house.. all in love and happy togethr working and helpin eachother to make a better life for themselves and their children. do you ever see any depressed mexicans? they poor as hell. you think Im poor? Im not the one makin 5 an hour. I also dont see any 26 year old singl mexican women… much less be mutha fuckin 33 and single. I dont see any mexican women so bitter and so obsessed with materialistic things that she drives her man away and is then a single mother of 2…. actually I dont know any mexican single mothers.

    so yeah… talk all that shit again about money and how its required to make your life viable, and I will keep pointing you to the barrios of new brunswick and princeton.

  25. Teacia says:

    Oh shit now, she wants it raw…I can't even do it to you Mikki. I'll let Comeback handle that but I will say this, it shows a lack of self worth for your body to think that all a man can do for is sexually please you. Don't you know that when you have sex with a man you're giving him a piece of your soul good or bad. Yeah I know this sounds ridiculous but think about every hit em and quit em job, how did you feel afterwards, even if it was mutual…like a piece of you was missing. If not, then we have deep issues to work on.

    Now to focus on the men you deal with issue, stop attracting that energy to yourself…shit start smiling and being nice to them inspite of their bullshit and watch it turn around. Girl you need a Hasani in your life…just not our Hasani…the good lord isn't done with him yet…lol. Oh and stop questioning these negroes, let a man know what you expect from him off jump and if he does't provide move on to someone who will because you are worth chocolate on Valentine's day(if that's ur thing), you shouldn't have to worry about where a man is at late at night, these shouldn't be your issues. But you get back what you put out…only think positive shit…like I will be respected, I do deserve more than a piece of dick(lol…i know i get a little grimey at times)…but you get my point girl. You got a little pinned up resentment in you as well…let go and let love.

  26. mikki says:

    I agree with you hasani money shouldn't be the basis, but I rarely hear from men saying I love you lets build together wealth family and happiness. All I hear is I gotta get my money this is coming from men!! one guy even told me he didn't have time to date because he was to focused on making money!!! So all im sayin is why Cant I be about mine? In a perfect world yes i would love to have hugs and kisses and all the lovey dovey stuff but im outta hope here. I am not attempting to role reverse I am attempting to not settle for whats been given to me by a man. I would love to think i can do 10 times better with a man than without but at the rate im going no men want to join me in my quest they just want to worry about self. So when im rich I am not going to wanna hear all your phsyco babble lets get married ish, because you shoulda been saying that when i didnt have a dime to my name.

    just answer the freakin question damn!

  27. ***blog goggles off***

    "I can take what ever yall so call dishing out"

    please check the tape, because you were VERY invested in a positive outcome. There was nothing lighthearted and funny about your response. Its like trying to build a house on quick sand, the foundation is based on trickery. You can't trick a man into wanting to be with you. If he said no on the phone 12 times, no on the email 16 times, why do you need to impersonate someone to get the answer you are looking for. No is No.

    No is no on the phone

    No is no in an email

    AND MAYBE will be HELL FUYK NO when you pretend to be someone YOU ARE NOT trying to get a yes.

    Now re-read Teacia's response …start at maturity…

    have a nice day

    ***blog goggles back on***

  28. mikki says:

    people are so damn judgemental that it makes me sick to my stomach if everybody here was a freakin will and jada I would not be saying shit!! keep it real folks keep it real nah.

  29. HNIC says:

    <<<> – Teacia

    How can you say that today to a woman.. but most days your word is "I have men throw themselves at my feet" as a validation of how god your life is??

    how are you people who are perennially single speak of how good it is to have a man "hold you?"

    thers just to many contradictions…. nt just in T but in all yall. (cept comeback and miss Dev who usually has the same statement)

    oh and if you women had money you would still be single.

    Why? Well im not sure why, Im still tryin to figure that out. but the majority of the women I have dated are quite capeable. but are still single. most just want to live the sex in the city lifstyle and not have anyone tell them what to do. ven mor are waiting on a "mr biggs" type man to come sweep them off their feet. Miss may is guilty of that. Here you have a model and a phd who ends a 6 month relationship because she feels there shoud be some overwhelming force and charm to swep her off her feet in utter romance. Life isnt an E ynn harris book! but most women with money will put up a wall and wait for a title wave of a man insted of just playingg in the ocean and finding a good current.

    the 1980's black woman was thinner, happier, and married twice as much …. what happened?

  30. mikki says:

    COMEBACK WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!!

  31. Teacia says:

    @Hasani: who would want to be mexican, have you witnessed their living conditions…well i have, i had a family of damn near 10 living above me while I was in Tampa…the kids had nothing and I mean nothing. When I moved in I was going through things I didn't need for my daughter and had it sitting on the porch when the kids upstairs asked if they could have it. My daughter had an abundance of crap and I felt bad about their situation. When I moved, I gave their family my bedroom set b/c the kids had nothing to sleep on…but yes they had each other.

    If that's what we should be striving for then I gladly will pass my single mother ass on.

  32. mikki says:

    I have plenty self worth to those who think I don't which is reason I am single because id rather be that than to get treated poorly. I put out plently positive energy so thats not my issue.

    The question was if was rich would I worry so much about finding a man to make me happy??

    my answer no!

    point blank

    I always take every thing here with a gain of damn salt because if everybody was so right on we would not all be so damn single. I am testing my own theory and yall should do what works for you.

  33. "Lets hear what others have to say

    I am the girl in question yall better stop hating!!! sike say what yall want I am not mad you guys are all brain washed "

    —————

    @ Mikki did you write the letter a few days ago or not ? the above suggests you did.

  34. Teacia says:

    lol…Mikki I'm just taking what you give me…you were the one saying that you experience more headache than happiness…just pointing that out.

    And to answer your question, yes you would worry but you're worry would be a different one. You would wonder who actually loved you for you and would they still cherish you without the money…with money comes more problems…the shit doesn't go away, it compounds. Money can't buy you love and happiness and dick won't be enough to get your rich behind through the day.

  35. Teacia says:

    @Comeback: I think she was a referring to the girl in question from today's post.

  36. HNIC says:

    Mikki. the black MAN wants a family. The kids and idiots are tryin to make money to appease the black women… not themselves. Just look at us decent black men lilke myself.. All they want is to be happy, get a normal corporate job have our 1.5 kids and a puppy in a townhouse in th suurbs… drive our 2 honda civics and cal it a day.

    All the young security guards at my job are costantly talkin about how they otta make more $$ because their main goal is to impress young black women. they arent workin and having a side hustle to invest in ERTS or VMware stock. They all trying to go to the auction on sunday and buy a repossessed lexus or acura legend, get their gold chains and white t shirts…. that is to impress YOU girls because you require so much and are so materialistic and money grubbing (even when you have your own)

    trust me if any of you gals met a man who seriously was poor.. drove a 82 buick, no bling…. yet was sweet, good looking, principled and decent man… who was just wanting to care for you and treat you right…. you would run the fucking other way…..

    aint that right comeback.

  37. Well the same applies the girl in question yesterday and the day before. LOL

    Its all (blog goggles on) …distasteful. I was happy just thinking happy thoughts.

  38. mikki says:

    Comeback are you totally lost?? that was my best friend!!! not me!!!!

    Teacia, I have worked damn hard not to depend on a man and I do it now and I will still do it when I have more money. I was simply stating that men cause more headache now days again pointing out the fact that if they didnt we wouldnt all be talking so much. I am all for cumbayha love and such. but dont sit here and lie to my face saying your life is rosey peaches and cream when it comes to dealing with men. if so just take one of those engagements and run with it then give me advice on how to be married.

    I love myself more than and man right now ever could. At the point when I have money I would not focus on getting a man I would focus on bettering my quaility of life, ie giving, helping others, and making my contribution to my community which is what i do now, just on a little less income. I haven't heard men say thanks for contributing to society all i hear is what can you do for me? and for that I dont need em!!!

    wooosahhhhh

  39. mikki says:

    lmao Hasani I would not run!!! I swear!!!!!!!!

  40. Teacia says:

    "How can you say that today to a woman.. but most days your word is “I have men throw themselves at my feet” as a validation of how god your life is??"

    That is not my rhetoric Hasani…I do have men throwing themselves at my feet, but I also understand the importance of having a special someone in my life…I'm no fool. My life is great, one of these guys is what the lord has planned for me and I'm embracing those possibilities full throttle.

    "how are you people who are perennially single speak of how good it is to have a man “hold you?”

    And I haven't always been single…just as you haven't. And I've been hugged, held and loved unconditionally…so

    I know what it feels like. And my quest is the regain that feeling for the rest of my days on this here earth..and not even you can stop me from that one.

    @Mikki: I knew you were going to get offended, which is why I tried to give it to you lightly, you can't ask for something and then get mad b/c people are upfront with you about their perception, perception that is only founded on what you share. If you feel you are being misjudged, give us more to work with…we're only calling it how we see it…I thought that was the purpose of this here interaction.

  41. **blog goggles off**

    Hasani stop barking up trees you can't climb and then getting mad at the damn tree. First of all you and someone else here live in geoghraphically sucky cities for what you are trying to accomplish switch places for real…I say one of yall move to an industrial city (whose glory days are long over)…the other move to the big lights of the shiny red apple. NYC metro is the mecca for people with BIG dreams. Most people who make it there (men/women) have alpha personalities..you're attracted Hasani to it, but repulsed just the same.

    I think you need to decide what you want and what you are willing to negotiate. And stop going to hardware store for milk.

  42. "Comeback are you totally lost?? that was my best friend!!! not me!!!!"

    same difference …you're the co-consirator. now re-read Treacia once more…start at maturity…

  43. mikki says:

    Maturity is not my issue thanks I again can't buy what you guys are selling being single yourself. I just want to try it my way and see what happens.

  44. Teacia says:

    @Mikki: no peaches and cream here, i get my fair share of bullshit also, but i don't indulge in it. there are too many hasani's out there to allow men to get my spirits down. i'm being real, you only get a few chances to guide me to an exit before i gladly oblige, but i still do not have such a negative outlook on men and relationships.

    my homegirl and i were discussing yesterday writing a book on gender rivalry, it's based on the chicken or the egg analogy…what came first, women diminishing the importance of men or men disrespecting the ambition of women….either way it doesn't matter…it won't change until we all accept a stake in the societal decline of gender relations and do something to fix it…who cares who started it, the shit is here, it's staring us in the face and it ain't going nowhere until we do something about it.

  45. "Maturity is not my issue thanks I again can’t buy what you guys are selling being single yourself. I just want to try it my way and see what happens."

    ***blog goggles on***

    yes dear perhaps you are right…I'm alone here. My phone never rings. I never go out. I've never been in a relationship. No one has EVER wanted to marry me. I've never met any man's mother, father sister or brother. I just sit here and email men for my friends and mass mail the others…I'll just go shoot myself now.

  46. mikki says:

    Ok Teacia,

    I think what SBM left out was that I was speaking in ref to having a lot of money as a single woman not (pennies). not to go into detail about who diminished what and such and such.

    I am single right now, and I don't look to be financially happy when it comes to being with a man. I am looking for time spent with me and non of them can provide me with time because they are all so busy making the paper. So what i said was If I had a ton of money in the bank. I wouldnt be so pressed to worry about why I can't get someone to spend time with me. i would simply hop on a jet plan and take my ass to mexico and sip on a pina colada and get my feet and back rubbed by some mexican lady and call it a day. Its that gratifying ?? hell yes!!! and i dont care who you are no man can bring me such gratification on a regular basis like that. and when i want sex i just call joe and he comes and leaves like i asked him to. I am not being negative im just stating what i would do if my singleness lingered on into my 30+

  47. mikki says:

    lmao comeback please dont do that

  48. I agree Teacia.

    blog goggles off*** I think women have their priorities all fyked up. I ONCE did. A man trumped EVERY hobby I ever had. Every man I ever became involved with. I'm not perfect. And when I start to attract men I don't want. I take a long look at myself.

    Am I the woman I want to date. Do I have relevant conversation that makes me interesting not just to a man but to other women? Am I a likeable person? Am I still playing stupid azz highschool games? Am I emotionally mature? Do I have a good or atoned for relationship with my father? Are my relationships with other people (men/women) contain healthy boundaries?… these are all the things I've worked on or am working on…

    but I guess others want a man from the relationship fairy…she will find (because some of us can NOT handle the truth) that if you didn't get it the right way…its not right. Even if it looks good on the outside. And trust Will and Jada are NOT quite the gold standard from a few inside people I know.

  49. Teacia says:

    Mikki..it's not enough sweetie…money just isn't enough…sex just isn't enough. There's nothing more gratifying than having someone to spend time with…you here rich people saying it all the time. Having some to curl up on the couch with and watch a movie with in your mansian out in San Bernandino, or your swanky loft in NY, or your villa in Milan…or wherever else you choose to enjoy those riches is what it all it boils down.

    I do have a thought for you, have you ever tried dating someone older, someone who's not so caught up in the here and now, gotta get money and get it fast mentality…it may make a difference.

  50. mikki says:

    comeback BAAWWWWAHAHAHHAA

    That was my point comeback I stopped focusing on what a man could do for me and I am doing well because of it. I didn't wait til 30 im doing it now!

  51. …blog goggles on…put a little sugar in that vodka girl

  52. "comeback BAAWWWWAHAHAHHAA"

    Thats Good…I who turned 33 in April…should be your cautionary tale. You're doing a most excellent job from what I can tell…you know every damn thing…so why are we even having this convo…

    tootles

  53. mikki says:

    is it my bad I hang around men who want to be successful financially??? Teacia most of the men I am speaking of are older. But all this was besides the point. I didn't post the topic to ask where do i find a man that wants to settle down. I posted to say who gives a flippin flop!!

  54. mikki says:

    besides rich people got the game twisted anyways if they are waiting for a man to sweep them off they feet and draw bubble baths. What I plan to do is find other things that make me happy outside of just spending money like water. I want to give, and involve myself in the community, help kids, help families. thats what makes me feel good if in fact im still single at that time.

  55. Teacia says:

    I guess…but I still stick with my original statement…dick isn't a substitute for happiness just b/c you have money.

  56. HNIC says:

    mikki,,,, every nigga wants money. THe problem is you should be looking for men

    comeback: though I miss the sound of your voice. u need to get back to work. if you werent miss successful corporate type then you may actually have to slum and take dates from the Hasanis of the world ;)

    Change city's? why do you think a change of cities is going to make the black women change priorities? notice none of you on this blog are in jersey/NYC yet all have pretty much the same thing in common when it comes to black men and romance?

    so… can I call you this weekend?

  57. Teacia says:

    HA HA HA….LMAO…Hasani I almost choked on my damn grapes after reading that…lol!!

  58. HNIC says:

    dont worry sista Im a boyscout.. Im very skilld at giving mouth to mouth :D

  59. mikki says:

    Hasani come again? what do you mean sr??

  60. @ Hasani yes I do and I have TONS of it…its those damn blog goggles, I'm seeing nutcases I never saw before..its like watching a train wreck you can't look away. Good God all mighty.

    ….and no you can't.

  61. Shelia says:

    I agree with Teacia Mikki – "men being used as a means for sexual gratification is not enough to make the world go around, despite what they may think about the capabilities of their johnsons. Yes, as you get older and experience more that life has to offer including the struggles and the triumphs you will see that having a partner is more important that having an on demand dick."

    Every woman have certain needs at certain stages of their lives. I would also like to add that sex is more gratifying in a committed loving relationship where the man is supplying other needs "outside" of the bedroom.

  62. mikki says:

    Shelia I know what sex is and can be, which is why i dont randomly have it and do not indulge myself in the at now. But later in life if im a millionaire and such, you want me to go without simply because i cant get a man to act right for 5 seconds is hawgwash!!!!! I am going to get mine and continue to do what i do. IF THATS THE CASE!!!

    GOSH PEOPLE READ UP!!!

  63. Ms. Freckles says:

    HNIC — Dude, you sound really bitter. Don't go swinging bats (penises) for the other team (men) out of your anger and disdain for WOMEN. lol.

    Ok, I have to do some work. I may stop in later to entertain the nonsense some more. Later Peeps!

  64. HNIC says:

    comeback: what are blog gogglles? I am lost and need an intelligent sista to learn me… but since "all my doctors" are in their labs or on the floor…. can i get you to explain it to me?

    ok so I cant call you… but it please you tohear a deep warm voice to talk to you about ife love and your daily grind.. just a little bit to cumfort and warm your spirit before you drift off to sleep happy, with the grin of grins on your face…

    ya I can make that happen

  65. Ms. Freckles says:

    No disrespect meant by any means….but…

    Reality says only a whore is happy off of good sex & great head ONLY.

    Now a woman however…in general is happy and remains happy off of a "total package". Now let's be real – - – yes, we all love good sex and great head, but that's not what's going to keep a man in my life. He has to bring so much more to the table than simply sex.

  66. Teacia says:

    Pure fuckery Hasani…oh my lawd you have me dying laughing over here and the goggles is her nice of way of conversing with the rest of us. When they are on she is objective and pleasant(i.e. me…lol), when they are off she is the Comeback that we've come to know and love.

  67. mikki says:

    again my point was lost so i give up officially

  68. Teacia says:

    Damn Ms. Freckles just took her blog goggles off, crushed them and threw away the remains…lol.

  69. Shelia says:

    Mikki, I can't speak for the other women on the blog who are single, but I'm sure most of us are single by choice.

    You made a statement that should occur whether you're in or not in a relationship: "What I plan to do is find other things that make me happy outside of just spending money like water. I want to give, and involve myself in the community, help kids, help families. thats what makes me feel good if in fact im still single at that time."

    Do those things whether you're rich or middle income; single or married. Being in a relationship or married shouldn't stop you from pursuing things to make you happy.

  70. I agree with Ms. Freckles…

    @ Hasani

    blog goggles were re-appropriated from VSB…its when you choose to see something BETTER …when in actuality its a little on the downtrodden, sad, desolate, pitiful side fill in all the adjs. here. Its a coping mechanism, when you want to believe in something that just aint there.

    I write sometimes with my blog goggles cause I think it just feels better. After having my coffee who wants to hear…"hey your dumb as fyuk…why are you even taking up useful air space"…i think "let's look at it from a more inward deeper perspective" reads better on the eyes.

  71. Teacia says:

    Mikki we got the point, some just refused to entertain it b/c it doesn't hold up…even with money, and i quote "only a whore is happy off of good sex & great head ONLY."

  72. Teacia says:

    "I write sometimes with my blog goggles cause I think it just feels better. After having my coffee who wants to hear…”hey your dumb as fyuk…why are you even taking up useful air space”…i think “let’s look at it from a more inward deeper perspective” reads better on the eyes."

    ROTFLMAO…yall are going to make me lose my damn job with all of these outbursts of laughter.

  73. Shelia says:

    But later in life if im a millionaire and such, you want me to go without simply because i cant get a man to act right for 5 seconds is hawgwash!!!!!

    Mikki, of course that's your perogative. No one is saying you have to go without. If you wanted to screw everyday then there are many men out there willing to oblige. As Teacia responded, I'm responding to what was posted in SBM's original post and the average woman needs more than good sex from a man. You've made it clear, you're not one of them. So get your groove on when you get rich.

  74. Shelia says:

    Ms Freckles, I'm with you…give me the "total package."

  75. mikki says:

    Shelia your right which is what I do. My main focus doesn't revolve around a man 100% never has never will. I am saying which so many of you seem to get lost in the fact that more of us worry about the "single label" because they think it defines who we are and what we plan to be in the future. I wouldnt give a flippin flop if im single 50 years from now. but if im single with 3 kids I might look at that issue a bit more closely as apposed to me being rich. because whether a woman wants to see it or not she is infact looking for a man to support her financially. My best friend said it, if she was rich she wouldnt even care if she had a man or not, but since we are out here on the grind 24-7 it would help that a man be near by to share my struggles.

  76. mikki says:

    who said anything about being a whore bag?? All I said was I would worry less about being single, shit i worry now because instead of drowning my sorrows in lavish parties and trips to the beach, I drown them in chocolate cake cuz i cant afford a trip to cabo san luca. YET

  77. mikki says:

    *calling my rich friends to find out the truth*

    oh wait i dont have any!!!

  78. "i worry now because instead of drowning my sorrows in lavish parties and trips to the beach, I drown them in chocolate cake cuz i cant afford a trip to cabo san luca. YET"

    …maybe a man is not your problem.

  79. or lack thee of

  80. mikki says:

    no comeback a man isnt my problem being broke is

  81. Lack of money isn't your problem either

  82. mikki says:

    oh yea the hell it is!!

  83. mikki says:

    comeback if you told me right now you could get on a flight to some place far away (out the country) for a week or 2 with no repercussion or financial strain what so ever then i will listen to you from this point on.

  84. mikki says:

    that would make me feel better right now sis im sorry to say

    but i cant afford that luxury right now.

  85. Shelia says:

    Mikki, the statement you made "more of us worry about the “single label” because they think it defines who we are and what we plan to be in the future."

    From my observation, the only people who are concerned about the "single label" are nosy folks who are trying to be in a single woman's business. I don't know anyone personally who is single that feels the way you described. If they do, they haven't shared that information with me.

  86. Shelia says:

    Your friend should have just said that those are HER two things because it takes more than good sex to keep the average woman happy. Now if the man is just a booty call or cut buddy then yes, that’s a requirement else what is he good for–you find another booty call/cut buddy.

    A woman who is ready for a mature relationship requires so much more.

  87. mikki says:

    Well Shelia I may be a bit partial to the statement because I been watching families fall apart because of "perception" all in efforts to make people believe something is real when infact its not. Thats in my own family so just because your not seeing it or being told it doesn't mean its not there.

  88. Ms. Freckles says:

    Mikki…if money is your issue (like it is for 85% of the world right now with the economy being the way it is)…dick should be the last thing on your mind. It's called part-time jobs on top of your full-time. It's called making sacrafices and passing up that designer bag in a department store so you can have a Savings acct. It's called prepare now so you wont suffer later. You don't need a man for money. Hell, nowadays…SOME (not I) women don't need a man for sex as long as you got new batteries. However, if you want something…NO ONE is going to hand it to you. Get out and get yours! Then take those lavish trips…

  89. Ms. Freckles says:

    Okay..after reading thru some of Mikki's comments…I'm LOST. One minute you saying the thing YOU need from a man is great sex & head. Then browsing thru the comments it appears you would like a man to financially bail you out. Then I'm getting that you don't revolve your life around a man, but the initial blog was a statement about all you need is great sex and head. Please clarify. Thanks.

  90. Shelia says:

    Mikki, there are those who may have that attitude and that's so unfortunate. Hopefully folks will realize that a man nor woman should be the source of their happiness.

  91. mikki says:

    Ms freckles I pray I didn't say nothing about a man bailing me out if i did I would correct myself cuz thats the last thing i need. Initially i was making a joke about just needing a man for GOOD SEX AND HEAD provided I have managed to take care of my self in all other areas in my life financially and I was extremly well off. at this point I would be paying people to do things I don't wanna do, ie cook, clean, rub my back all that fun stuff and the sperm bank incase i wanted to have a baby. basically I described myself as OPRAH. But God knows i dont want to be that damn loney but im saying money helps me if i am, along with good sex and head. It was all taken outta context if you ask me. but people take ish and run far with it. I didnt say I NEEDED ANYTHING.

    I take am working on my financial life for the simple fact that I can't depend on a man. Trust me baby I got it on lock with not 1 job but 3 in order to make that luxury trip and quit my job. Never did I say I can't do it on my own cuz with or without a man I will be doing it. but my ass is far from rich and today i cant quit my job but you better believe one day in the near future I will.

  92. @ Mikki

    "comeback if you told me right now you could get on a flight to some place far away (out the country) for a week or 2 with no repercussion or financial strain what so ever then i will listen to you from this point on."

    I've done this twice in 5 years…what does this say to you??? It don't say shit to me. Mexico and London all have internet. The later I actually went partially for work.

    Ms. Freckles is alluding to a bigger issue. Your head is hard. You think you know EVERY damn thing. One minute you've got together, you're working on you, you're philanthropic, you're feeding stray dogs…and the next you need a man BAD…its all so confusing. And if this is apart of your mental state…the only thing you'll keep attracting is more fyking confusion.

    I thought Dave Ramesy was your "get out of debt card" ? he's got you living in a situation that you aren't MENTALLY ready for or capable of. I never thought his preachings were ideal. They don't make sense to me. Debt can to a certain extent can be leveraged for things that appreciate. To me its always been easier to bring in NEW money than try and scrimp on the same old I got coming in. Your priorities are more fyked up than fyk…I'm sorry…

  93. Ms. Freckles says:

    Okay…coming from someone who is 27 yrs young, have one full-time job, some college education but not my BBA yet (still in the works), a man (and he aint rich HNIC) that she respects and who respects her back, make a nice salary from working my ass off thru the corporate ladder since the age of 18. No kids, never married, humble and self-sufficient….

    My $0.10 on your "situation/foolishness" Mikki is that you need to STOP being so damn angry @ men, life, societal standards, focused on money and every little thing else that means absolutely nothing when you're dead and gone. If you had all the money in the world you would still have some shit going on in your life that would fuck with you on some level or another. The energy put out is what you will ultimately get back to you.

  94. Ms. Freckles says:

    Up your standards… and up the game these tired fools with penises approach you with!

  95. mikki says:

    Ok comeback don't bring DAVE in this, me and him are actually doing great, though I haven't blogged about it that much so lets not go there please.

    I didn't say I needed a man, I said sex and head is ALL i need from a man. and twice in 5 years isn't much.

    I know I don't know everything which is why I put the question out there. But I see judgement being passed and thats not what I came for, I came to get a straigth forward yes or no answer.

  96. Ms. Freckles says:

    Mikki the answer is NO

  97. mikki says:

    Ms Freckles I am not mad at anything. Seriously It was a joke gone bad I didn't mean for it to get so outta line as to who and what I am. I do A DAMN WONDERFUL job at supporting myself and giving back to my community even when I don't have much to give. all this banter about what my standards are don't have anything to do with anything. I love life and work hard to take care of me and a statement I made doesn't speak for what I currently do, and you can ask all my friends that and they will tell you.

    Bash mikki day is officially over dang!

  98. ***goggles back on***

    dearest Mikki if you want an answer to be designed in a specific way, then perhaps perface your question with the way you want it answered. You need a bit of a reality check. But again you can't handle the truth, even when people doctor up your alchohol with cherries, whip cream, bailys etc.

    At this point I say stick to the friends that can tell you would like to hear, instead of really checking under the hood looking for disconnected wires and leaky valves.

    in all honesty maybe you should talk to someone who is a little more equipped for some of this..and I'm being as serious and non-judgemental with all goggles on and tightly secured.

  99. **stick to friends who can tell you what you want to hear*** that way you still end up knowing everything and feeling all the better about yourself.

  100. Shelia says:

    Mikki, I don't think anyone has been bashing you but trying to offer other viewpoints to a situation that was brought to our attention via SBM's blog post. I for one hate to see someone get abused or misused or be misinformed when they have options. Besides just because one person feels a certain way, it doesn't mean someone else has to feel the same way–that's why we're all unique–thank God.

  101. HNIC says:

    Its a pointless battle.

    having a man DOES define you…. having a career and moneey does not. wtf happened to the black females sense of morality and community? do you guys even hear the shit your saying before yu type it?

    if your single and an adult your losing. if your in your 40 and havent raised a home… your a waste of earths time. god didnt put you here to serve yourself with gucci and corporate outings.

    I keep checkin the blessed sacrements and still no sign of "minolo blaniks" on there anywhere.

    you need to step your game up anyway. because the other races are still killin you in education and corporate america… where you claim to excel.. but the areas you 20 years ago had the nation on lock in ….Family friends and marriage…. your not only last in the nation… your last in the world.

  102. mikki says:

    Right Shelia but It was in ref to something I said that was spoken in his words which i have spent all day trying to clerify and I am done with it.

    seriously

  103. Teacia says:

    @Mikki: Ok so I sat back to see what my sisters on the site had to say and this is what I see. Sister gurrrl you are in denial. First off I'm going to go backwards in addressing these comments: Twice in 5 years is more than you've been able to do so you shouldn't knock Comeback for having the freedom, some people will never set foot out of their city…besides you did ask for her to give it to you raw.

    Freckles has a point, even with all of the money in the world those deep seeded issues will not go away. You do harbor a little resentment which I do feel you need to let go of…to be even to belittle men to just a dick and tongue outlines those resentments.

    Sheila also hit the nail on the head although I think she was addressing another topic stemming from the one posted…and in your defense the acceptance of being single doesn't really seem to be your issue…although I do think that stems from your resentment instead of somewhere healthy.

    There is no straighforward yes or no in blogging…the moderator(albeit MIA) puts something out there and the readers expound…having knowing it was you or not our response would have been the same…you did however make this a personal dialogue. You're only 25, you have your entire life ahead of you, don't let what's said here deter you from what you know you need to do in life. But dick and head miss lady, just won't cut it out here on Reality Ranch.

    And who the hell is Dave Ramsey?!?!?!

  104. "having a man DOES define you"

    If thats the case…most of us have all been WELL defined. The women that I really admire on this blog have had or have MEN…I've asked or I can READ. The bottom line is there is certain behavior (even aside from all the money stuff) that has to be there…and if its not…most of us are out. Again all of us have men we could call tomorrow to slow the party down with…in fact one keeps calling me telling me he is GOING to marry me LIKE IT OR NOT..so getting and even keeping "A" man is not most black women's problems.

  105. HNIC says:

    I think we will need to reclassify.

    Lower middle class black woman (

    Working class

    Wanna be upper class

    what are the two things that these women need from a man? and if you are a woman of that social class…. are you active in seeking this man?

  106. Teacia says:

    @Hasani: Shut up already with that dumb shit!!

  107. mikki says:

    I wasn't trying to attack comeback if I did I appologize but she recanted with her DAVE statement so all is fair in war!!

    Hasani thank you for putting it in better words for lack there of now can we get the answers please???

  108. *** goggles off***

    Mikki WTF are you worried about a man for. You've got issues with bringing in CASH FLOW spilling into your feelings of self-worth and how you see other men. Hasani's question is not relevant for you right now.

    when you can (walk)- feel good about what you are bringing in…then you can (chew some bubble gum) date a good man (not reduced to dyk).

    Comprede. Everything else is a waste of all our homekey typing.

  109. mikki says:

    COMEBACK get the hell outta here with this self worth ish gosh darn yalll are killing blowing ish up!!

    Im gonna fall way back

    back to my blog spot corner……

    cant take this shit no mo!!

  110. @Hasani didn't you say you had some med hookup over there at Merck or wherever the hell you at.

  111. was this an april fool's post…:)

  112. mikki says:

    FYI men reduce women all the time to just pussy so now when I decided I want to do it I get the ax??? wtf is wrong here?? SBM posted about 4 videos disrespecting women and callin them out they name and now suddenly I need to be sat down in a corner

    Blasphemy at its freakin best do yall not listen to the shit they play on the radio???

  113. "SBM posted about 4 videos disrespecting women and callin them out they name and now suddenly I need to be sat down in a corner'

    and if you check the tape…he tried in his little heart to apologize but didn't…its still wrong. anyway you slice and dice it. I'm not hoe, I don't associate myself with a hoe, nor do I see men as dycks…I mean come on, lets not ever worry about attracting a good man…cause that's not what you're tryna see. So when something different presents itself-How could you ever be ready for it.

    I think there is tons more going on under the hood even besides money, it also sounds like unaddressed family issues, I don't think you really like your living space…but lets just keep surface. So you can feel better.

  114. Teacia says:

    You took ur ass back to the corner…ain't nobody here direct you there. And you might wanna check out VSB's the woman masochist post…they outline this topic thoroughly. Men are wrong for the dumb shit as are women, we need to stop blaming each other and pointing the damn finger all the time…it solves nothing…tit for tat dumb shit I tell ya.

    Oh and Hasani, nigga please with the dumb shit already!!!

    Oh and Comeback I'm convinced you're bipolar…lol.

  115. mystery gal in quest says:

    Mikki, it's not a secret any more (that is, that you want to "secretly seduce" ol' boy) now is it?! LOL

    Now, as for throwin' in my change…I'll say that I don't want 2 things from a man (outside of his love & money, MAYBE…damn the sex, hell it's not always a sure fire thing anyway! I'll keep my money on my B.O.B…battery operated boyfriend..he NEVER let's me down..LOL.. :)

    In any event, I see where you're coming from Mikki. When a dude puts it down like that, shoot..for the moment, you are more than content with him handling his business downtown! What a lucky girl you are to have (or have had) someone that can! There aren't many of those types of brothas nowadays (most seem to be into self satisfaction). And on that note, I'm done babbling because I don't want to get too far off track. LOL

  116. "Oh and Comeback I’m convinced you’re bipolar…lol."

    with craziness yes. I pretty much don't get to "see" all this goggles or no goggles…its good to put it all in perspective…like wow, this what people think!

  117. Teacia says:

    Dude you went from supportive to combative to humorous to just plain silly and back to combative…oh no mam, ur just plain ole bipolar…welcome to the club buddy…welcome indeed~

  118. ^^^ this is seriously nonsense. I mean is all this live, memorex or broadway…

  119. Ms. Freckles says:

    Ya'll wearing me out with this back & forth, lol. Going home for the night and laying my middle class ass down with my man for some good ol' sex and great head! LMAO, sorry couldnt resist!

  120. mikki says:

    Thank you best friend for coming in to be my voice of reason. Seriously thats all i was trying to say in 1 million words

  121. The goggles help…I tell ya…esp over here. Some people don't "read you' one way so you try another. And then its like fuyk it. Ultimately the way you feel is a manifestation of what work you are doing, have done, or need to do. So if this mess works …then rock on…let me find that Depeche Mode song.

  122. "When a dude puts it down like that, shoot..for the moment, you are more than content with him handling his business downtown! What a lucky girl you are to have (or have had) someone that can! There aren’t many of those types of brothas nowadays (most seem to be into self satisfaction). "

    this is what you were trying to say 6 hours later ….FOR REAL ?

    okey dokey..im out.

  123. Teacia says:

    "When a dude puts it down like that, shoot..for the moment, you are more than content with him handling his business downtown! What a lucky girl you are to have (or have had) someone that can! There aren’t many of those types of brothas nowadays (most seem to be into self satisfaction). ”

    this is what you were trying to say 6 hours later ….FOR REAL ?

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my GOD, I was thinking the same thing…that couldn't have been her point…lawd Jesus….Mikki girl you were NO WHERE near making it. Although even this point is a little socially contrived but oh well you guys are best friends…birds of a feather…lol.

  124. on a serious note…this is really kind of sad. I'm not playing. I aint touched nan goggle..and I just keep coming back and looking at the train wreck.

  125. I really do hope this was all a big joke..Like surprise your on candid blog..we made it all up..starting two days ago…just a little marketing PR buzz to get more blog attention.

  126. mystery gal in quest says:

    Well, the things is…if we are the company that we keep..I'm good knowing that Mikki is good people;however, that would mean also you taking a look at you & ALL the people who post on here because there are a part of the company you keep too…if you are comfy with that..more power to you..but I'ma keep my bet on Mikki.

    As for my point, OBVIOUSLY most if not ALL of the women who post here can relate to having a man that's lack-luster in the bedroom. If that wasn't the case, you'd be at his house (after work) having wonderful sex, sippin' on a Mike's Hard Lemonade, loving, and communicating with him and NOT posting on here everyday! And I gave her props for finding one that can! I didn't say he was the greatest thing since sliced bread because of it but finding an unselfish man is a start!

  127. HNIC says:

    Hmmmm notice when you speak the truth people dont want to hear abut themselves its called "dumb shit"

    conversely when a woman laments a man about truths he dosent wanna head he says she "whines"

    why do people have such problems with what is actually going on and what they are doing wrong?

    Comeback: for you? Id get you anything that was within my power to give you… and die trying to give you more.. if only you would give half your heart to me in return.

  128. Teacia says:

    Speaking of an unselfish man…so I met this guy, we've been dating hard for a few months, I guess since Feb(yeah i know i need to settle down already but…) and that negro doesn't give head…and this shouldn't be a huge deal since at the end of the day he gives me everything I want BUT head. The negro is 37 and has never given head to anyone, not even his ex-wife. Now being the headmaster I am I was in total and utter disbelief…how could this be?!?!? So I have too decided the withhold the head until he folds…I feel like I'm in a scene from "Brothers"…only the tables are reversed. I hate to admit this for fear of Comeback's casual dating sex lashback BUT ur girl is getting the head, just not from dude…I mean what gives…really no head?!?!

  129. Teacia says:

    "why do people have such problems with what is actually going on and what they are doing wrong"

    Hasani my dear boy, altough you have outlined your flaws and whatnot you have yet to outline what you and other men are in fact doing wrong…only focusing on the chics…so tell me(since you're so reflective)…what are you doing wrong?

    hint: Comeback: for you? Id get you anything that was within my power to give you… and die trying to give you more.. if only you would give half your heart to me in return.

  130. Shelia says:

    One thing about blogging. If you don't want a person's opinion don't blog about it or don't comment on it.

    Mikki, girl, chill out. It's not that serious.

    Like Teacia said, "don’t let what’s said here deter you from what you know you need to do in life." It's your life, so do you.

    Also reference SBM & his choice of videos–this is his crib. When he steps out of line or out of bounds, he gets checked for it. But it's his blog so he can post what he wants. If I or anyone else has a problem with it, we can choose not to click on the url and read another blog. It's like going to somebody else's house and telling them what color to paint their wall–you have a choice–if you don't like the paint, don't visit.

    But it's a blog and people will have different opinions–just have to respect them and keep it moving. Like I started off saying–it's not that serious.

  131. "As for my point, OBVIOUSLY most if not ALL of the women who post here can relate to having a man that’s lack-luster in the bedroom. If that wasn’t the case, you’d be at his house (after work) having wonderful sex, sippin’ on a Mike’s Hard Lemonade, loving, and communicating with him and NOT posting on here everyday! And I gave her props for finding one that can! I didn’t say he was the greatest thing since sliced bread because of it but finding an unselfish man is a start!"

    so I'm no philosphy whiz…but remember in college where you learned how parts of an arguement was constructed. You had a premise right???? (even before you got to inference and deduction and a conclusion). An argument was BASED on what the REAL meat and potatos were…

    and if the above that I quoted was it, I honestly apologize to everyone…cause I had it totally wrong. Goggles on goggles off, sideways and on top of my head.

  132. mystery gal in quest says:

    @ Tecia

    Right, that's the bottom line. I'd NEVER go as far as to say that sex is the end all, be all! All I'm sayin' is that is DOES matter to a degree, that is, if you are sexually active (which is 99.9% of all females over the age of 21 nowadays)! I'ma be real…if a man sucks in the bedroom..I can work with him IF he's willing to learn/be trained but if he's NOT trying to get any better…it's a wrap! And it does show his degree of selfishness in all aspects of life (if he's all about gettin his & not worrying about his partners needs)!

  133. Teacia says:

    @Comeback: what the hell are you apologizing for…although a little harsh and crass, you said what you felt she should hear…no apologies needed.

    @Mystery: "If that wasn’t the case, you’d be at his house (after work) having wonderful sex, sippin’ on a Mike’s Hard Lemonade, loving, and communicating with him and NOT posting on here everyday! And I gave her props for finding one that can!"

    Ummm when did a man + good sex = no blogging

    LOL…what world are you living in…there's always time for a blog comment…just don't forget to wipe the corner of your mouth before you start…lol.

  134. mystery gal in quest says:

    << TOTALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY lost & confused @ come back's point/argument or lack there of!

  135. Teacia says:

    Girl I needs the head…oh lawd jesus don't take the head away… *quietly sobbing*

  136. mystery gal in quest says:

    Well, the world I'm livin' in is a sad one, indeed IF people actually had men & good relationships but decided to blog everyday instead!!!!!!!!

  137. Yes Teacia that is the bottom line…I think we wanted there to be more water in well, but the well is DRY.

  138. mystery gal in quest says:

    NEVER would I trade blogging for sex & a relationship with a GOOD man!!!!!!!

  139. Teacia says:

    Mystery, Comeback is good at the art of confusion…pay it no mind…we all have to from time to time.

  140. antidater says:

    @ Teacia: "It’s almost like we want the chilvary of the 50’s with the perks of the new millenium. "

    Damn – I've been saying this forever! It's nice to hear this coming from a woman.

  141. "<< TOTALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY lost & confused @ come back’s point/argument or lack there of!"

    its ok …so AM I…so am I.

  142. mystery gal in quest says:

    Apparently that's not the ONLY thing that's dry if you are sitting on here all day & everyday blogging! :) ..lmaoooooooo

  143. "Ummm when did a man + good sex = no blogging"

    thank you ….cause thats when I was doing my VERY BEST WRITING….

  144. "Apparently that’s not the ONLY thing that’s dry if you are sitting on here all day & everyday blogging! :) ..lmaoooooooo"

    not just watching the train wreck…i can't stay away today.

  145. Teacia says:

    why does there have to be a trade…why can't i have good sex, a happy home and a steady blog i subscribe to…i mean really, i don't always want that negro to be up under me and vice versa…people have their hobbies and blogging is the hobby of the new millenium.

  146. MIKKI says:

    lmao @ you mystery girl you are a straight clown!

  147. mystery gal in quest says:

    I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWW, Mikki but I'm real & can get as "harsh" as the rest of em…lmaoooooooooooooo

  148. Teacia says:

    Hey Anti…I thought we ran all the men off today with our CAT FIGHT!!!!

  149. "people have their hobbies"

    please don't bring hobbies and other personal fullfillment before sunset into this…we are talking about needing and getting a man, hook, crook, email impersonation, bribbery, pistol wipping, ebay, an uncle twice removed on your cousin's side.

  150. mystery gal in quest says:

    RIGHT..but if it's a GOOD man who has GOOD sex then that's gonna be my focus for the MOST of my day! Besides, I'm still young @ 28 & I would be taking care of my kids for the majority remaining part of my day! I don't plan on being 35, unmarried & w/o kids blogging every day, SORRY! :)

  151. Teacia says:

    girl i'm talking about blogging and sex…shit u know i wasn't going to venture off into other bullshit not worth mentioning…lol.

    and mystery you might want to watch out b/c Comeback holds the bitch title up here in these parks. (love u comeback)

  152. ..really any one with a penis, who can say our name and has a great memory (of say a few years.)

  153. mystery gal in quest says:

    majority or remaining part of my day, I mean

  154. antidater says:

    I was just keeping a bird's eye view while yall duked it out ;)

  155. mystery gal in quest says:

    Well, she's met her match then Teacia.. :)

  156. "RIGHT..but if it’s a GOOD man who has GOOD sex then that’s gonna be my focus for the MOST of my day! Besides, I’m still young @ 28 & I would be taking care of my kids for the majority remaining part of my day! I don’t plan on being 35, unmarried & w/o kids blogging every day, SORRY!"

    yes ..we see..***going back to the archives***

  157. Teacia says:

    "RIGHT..but if it’s a GOOD man who has GOOD sex then that’s gonna be my focus for the MOST of my day! Besides, I’m still young @ 28 & I would be taking care of my kids for the majority remaining part of my day! I don’t plan on being 35, unmarried & w/o kids blogging every day, SORRY!"

    One time for a plan…I guess you haven't been privy to Hasani's statistics….lol, good luck with that. Sani where you at? (damn, i couldn't even keep a straight face while setting you up the fuckery that's about to begin..oh my god i'm laughing so hard)

    *cue hasani*

  158. mystery gal in quest says:

    Right…I'llput money on that comeback!!!!!!

  159. "fuckery that’s about to begin"

    it takes two for all that…I've already observed from the past couples of days…and the premise its just not there. yes I'd rather talk to Hasani myself.

  160. mystery gal in quest says:

    Naw, stats are nothing but numbers in the wrong hands! They don't mean much to me!

  161. Teacia says:

    OMG….I'm still laughing my ass off…Sani please come here with those negative ass statistics and set Mystery straight on her future prospects….ROTFLMAO!!!! *breathing, breathing…laughing…ok..and end scene*

  162. mystery gal in quest says:

    << MUST clearly be slow cause I'm not following the "fuckery"!

  163. ask his azz if can bring in something narrowly focsued 28-30 in D town.

  164. mystery gal in quest says:

    Well, in the event that I did believe the stats…it ONLY means that I have to work faster to snag a dude, I guess! LOL..time is running out…is maybe it has already run out…waitin' on the stats to see! LMAOOOo

  165. it may just justify all that situation stuff going on back a few days yonder

  166. mystery gal in quest says:

    Once again, it's as though I'm like Hansel in Grettle in the woods after they'd dropped the bread crumbs & the animals in the ate them!!!!!!

  167. Teacia says:

    Girl he's writing his dissertation as we speak…lol.

  168. and this time that shyt better have some variance, standard deviation, a pie chart and a overhead projector.

  169. mystery gal in quest says:

    I hope the dissertation is on older black women that don't have men, kids, nor have never been married & what they do in the meantime

  170. mystery gal in quest says:

    Those are the stats that I'm interested in!:)

  171. mystery gal in quest says:

    I agree comeback!

  172. "I hope the dissertation is on older black women that don’t have men, kids, nor have never been married & what they do in the meantime'

    thats a question Hasani has never answered–and he might get my number for that little nugget of knowledge. I'd be also more interested in how he would address your prevous post a few days back.

  173. mystery gal in quest says:

    Yeah but that's not as interesting in my opinion!

  174. of course not..you're right.

  175. mystery gal in quest says:

    Gee thanks, it takes a REAl woman to admit that! :)

  176. mystery gal in quest says:

    What's the next topic btw? I think we're done here

  177. MIKKI says:

    I agree mystery girl !!!

  178. mystery gal in quest says:

    Thanks…looks like 3 of us all are in argeement!

  179. MIKKI says:

    Once again thats why your my homie because you stand your ground and don't hop off and on the band wagon because its the "in thing" to do. Mystery girl you keeps it all the way real!!

    luv you like a play cousin

  180. HNIC says:

    yes because stats are wrong. thats why they are called stats…. duh.

    I mean…. i walk down the street everyday and see pleanty of happy black couples in their 20's. I never see a black girl in the mall with a kid that has no discipline and her talking on her cellphone while the kid cuts up the store.

    No I never hit the gym and see young black men comming in with their mixed children to put in the kids rom when they are working out.

    Nope… my buddy and I are never at the local lounge and am outnumbered 2-5 by all the black women.

    Yes, those asian women are NEVER married, its just a rumor.

    Nope the black women dosent make more than they did before… infact none of you are returning home to your condos or apartments tonight. infact you all have no jobs and will never move out of the house until you are 35 and some man comes to propose to you.

    gas is not on the rise

    the economy is not in a recession

    VMware stock will not be going up

    its not going t rain this weekend

    hillary should not have conceited the election (based on statistical estimation of loss)

    high tide will not be at 7:25

    the sun wil not come up tomorrow.

    there is no spoon neo……

    you can claim stats are not a reflection of the truth all you want but I think we all can see what is going on every day in our lives and know them to be more accurate than we would like to think. Statistics are thre for a reason, why trust the ones you want to but not trust the ones that prove you wrong? resistant, oblivious and uninformed……

    isnt that the basis of the word ignorance?

  181. mystery gal in quest says:

    Thank MIkki! :)

  182. mystery gal in quest says:

    Sweetie @ "HNIC", just so you know…I said stats are just numbers IN THE WRONG HANDS! So, CLEARLY that wasn't NOT in response to any comments that I made!

  183. mystery gal in quest says:

    * was not, rather

  184. mystery gal in quest says:

    << Still waitin' to ACTUALLY be SCHOOLED! LMAo

  185. Teacia says:

    ***convulsing in laughter***

    Oh man Hasani, I love you…will you marry me?!?!?

    Ok folks, well I'm off to my condo..gotta cook dinner for the kid….being a single mother and all.

    Thanks guy for making this day zooooom by…love you all!!

  186. mystery gal in quest says:

    & we luv u back teacia

  187. mystery gal in quest says:

    << laughin' myself because I MUST admit I wasn't as amused as I thought I be! Yawnin'!

  188. Teacia says:

    @mystery: btw my rhetoric about statistics were purely to taunt Hasani, hence his response(surprisingly he picked up on my blatant sarcasm…one time for progress)…but he ain't schooling or fooling anyone these days.

  189. HNIC says:

    Ummm theres too much estrogen in the room..

    but my stats are never "neative T… remember.. I dont create stats, Im a journalist not a statistician.

    you created the stats. if you dont like them you can get off that ….. err.. nic… shaply, round and mailable ass f yours and move your long sexy smooth as glass and onyx skinned, adoringly bright smiled self into motion and do something about it.

    speaking of hair… the silky haired goddes herself has summoned me…

    [[ hats a question Hasani has never answered–and he might get my number for that little nugget of knowledge. I’d be also more interested in how he would address your prevous post a few days back ]] -Comeback

    What was the question? I can fetch you anything you require in return for your phone number and the promise of a future night with dinner and romantic conversation with yours truly in your home town….

    so just state it and ill get it.

  190. mystery gal in quest says:

    But you can't address the research that I've inquired about HNIC? That's sexy! LMAO

  191. mystery gal in quest says:

    I see Teacia but ty for the clarification..:)

  192. Hasani you were beckoned because sometimes its easier to reason with you…but if you did bring something compelling…well nevermind…Numbers as you know are also based on perception. I can tell you that the economy is tettering on a recession based on real GDP numbers (but what if I hid the others that showed positive growth and the industry that is actually holding the economy up?)

    I think datum ultimately is all how you spin the spin. It can tell you what you do and don't want to hear. You can look statisically at the national average of marriage as a whole (who studies this besides catholic people by the way LOL) and across the board what is the justification of OVERALL decline. You look at say a 30% marriage rate amoung blacks and a 55% marriage rate amoungst whites…but what about the rate of decline, what did it look like year over year.

    I had Korean co-worker who was also a woman (and we had more in common that not) most of her friends were late 20s mid 30s and STILL NOT MARRIED. These were all women making great money…

    so numbers may not lie, but they also DONT TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH.

  193. HNIC says:

    and you guys still never answered what 2 things women need. you argued ike fuckin cats in a garbage can, ,but still didnt answer the topic… sheesh. your supposed to be educatiin and grooming us … (mumbles) so we knw how to please our future white and asian wives.

  194. run tell that…now I must step away from the train track and crunch my own numbers.

  195. mystery gal in quest says:

    LMAO..i answered the question BEFORE I was attacked..lol

  196. mystery gal in quest says:

    U r right come back..that's my point..stats are just numbers, by themselves! It's NO good if you don't know the details of the study (it took to get them)!

  197. MIKKI says:

    Hasani according to comeback and Teacia your question was dumb, and im supposedly not qualified enough to answer it cuz i chew bubble gum.

  198. mystery gal in quest says:

    Okay, I'm off to tend to grannies dog, all…play nicely while i'm gone!

  199. MIKKI says:

    and listen to DAVE

  200. MIKKI says:

    HEYYYYYYY SMOKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

  201. Teacia says:

    …again who the hell is Dave?!?!?!?

    Hasani…lol…I laughed my all the way home(4 blocks)…and to answer your question: loyalty and stability…that's it. Everything that every women will give you will fall under those two categories…men who are loyal don't go out of their way to highlight your faults, they work WITH you to overcome them, and stability is self explanatory…and it can be emotional and financially based. We want to know that we to know that our world won't come crashing down if we leave it all in your hands…we want to know that at the end of the day our man is holding it down.

    Now to delve into what you're going to outline, the class gap…to this I say if a women needs a man making more money than she does then so be it…don't get mad, make more money or stop dating outside of your financial realm. But for the most part, women as a whole will fall in love in spite of a man's finances, b/c we want so badly to have someone who is loyal and provides a sense of stability. Statistics, statistics, statistics…FUCK EM!!! Seriously Sani, fuck em, change em…do whatever you want to them, but don't use them to purposely lash out as us…you will never get anyone to love you that way…b/c it shows disloyalty to the millions of women who are rising above the damn things.

  202. Dave Ramsey (I think we are talking about Dave Ramsey) is a "financial guru" and basically he puts people on a financial diet. In theory on the debt elimination side the CONCEPT is EXCELLENT. He tells you pay everything down. He comes on PBS sometimes…and some of his teachings have a Christian slant…like a debtor is also a glorified slave and there are plenty of bible passages to suggest this.

    85% of me agrees with MOST of his teachings. I come from the school of thought that you don't have to do a crash diet to lose 15 pounds. You don't have to eliminate every ounce of dairy, fat, carb or run 10 miles a day. I think that it only causes some manifestation of more LACK.

    I personally think that you can pay down debt and bring in new money at the same time. I wish he preached more about the new money thing more, along with new ways of thinking about money and wealth creation. It shouldn't feel like you just went to jail or are released on parole in halfway house. IMHO..but what the hell do I know.

  203. Look I have a life so I can't read all 200 of these comments…so would you all do me the pleasure of giving me a brief recap on what the hell ya'll talking about today.

    Ok let me go read the post…lol

  204. Teacia says:

    Ms. D needs a recap

    *cue Hasani*

  205. Actually the concept is paying OFF all debt…even the stuff I think is better for leverage…but whatever..like Ms Dev having a life…mine starts at 6ish.

  206. MIKKI says:

    I feel a guest post coming on about DAVE, big brother SBM can I pulleezz have the floor in a few days???

  207. Ummm that is an interesting statement. But if that is what she wants then so be it. She may have another man for the other part. It's her life she can do as she please. She doesn't want all the other stuff.

    That is her preference 'good sex and head'. Keep in mind this is one woman saying this. Please don't believe she is speaking for other women, as I am sure you know from the other comments I haven't read but I know the women on here had a field day on this one…lol

    I still have gotten my recap folks…what the hell? LOL!

  208. MIKKI says:

    Ms Dev you didn't hear it from me but

    I said yea, if im rich then all i need a man for is good head and sex, then I got chewed out

    end of recap

  209. MIKKI says:

    Comeback and why are you trippin on me and Dave I thought you was going to join the team?? what happen did jimmy get chu???

    *callin jimmy*

  210. HNIC says:

    if women wanted loyalty and stability every woman on this blog would be PM'in me all day.

    nobody spoke to me at all infact til certain people posted my personal info. so since I ACT like al roker insted of ooking like him.. which most people thouht for some reason….. Im a more plausable person to speak with. so yeah… loyalty goes a looooong way with women.

    I mean… look at how many women trip over joe thug and jay player. those are totally cmmitment ike type guys right. thats why you guys always seem to love them .

    As a community your actions dont reflect your request. if loyalty is your goal why are so many blackwomen walking out on households and relationships now? (not to be confused with the past 20 years where we were doing it.. but we will skip that topic) why are you guys electing to be single? why are you lookin for the tall sexy man that makes more money than you if loyalty is what "every" sista wants?

    I have yet to read a profile on blackpeoplemeet.com blacplanet.com match.com or eharmony where the sista is lookin for stability and loyalty.

    but as one can imagine.. money and earning potential seem to come up alot.

  211. Teacia says:

    Okay well now that the little one is settled and I have a few moments before her bedtime story, let me recap it for you.

    Mikki told SBM that once she comes on a million cool one she will no need for men other than sex and head…but it's gotta be good sex and head. We didn't know it was her and had a field day on the chic in question, she then came out of the woodworks and we continued to pounce on the notion citing self esteem issues, family issues and other bullshit to belittle the poor girl(of course Comeback led the way). It's backwards logic…we made no roadway there.

    Mystery gal chimed in in her besties defense, while holding her own and fussing with Comeback but ultimately stating(after 6 hours of fussing) that all her friend was trying to say was this:

    “When a dude puts it down like that, shoot..for the moment, you are more than content with him handling his business downtown! What a lucky girl you are to have (or have had) someone that can! There aren’t many of those types of brothas nowadays (most seem to be into self satisfaction). ”

    which was not at all what Mikki was saying, but we let it ride b/c we had been beating a dead horse for some time now and called a spade a spade and kept it moving.

    Sheila had good advice on accepting singledom(albeit a little off topic)…but good advice nonetheless.

    Hasani was on his usual soapbox although much nicer to me b/c I'm his "type"…while still professing his undying love and devotion for Comeback who again dismissed his ass. Oh and I taunted Hasani about his statistics before finally giving him the answer to the 2 things question, which was not originally asked in the blog but done to appease him…the answers being loyalty and stability.

    Oh and Comeback was ALL over the place….she showed streaks of bipolarness like never before, while maintaining a comedic appeal with the blog goggles on and off(it's a long story)….but i'll give u the quick def:

    its when you choose to see something BETTER …when in actuality its a little on the downtrodden, sad, desolate, pitiful side fill in all the adjs. here. Its a coping mechanism, when you want to believe in something that just aint there.

    It's a little lengthy but there's your recap…oh and SBM was missing in action all day…I guess he figures if he gives us something to fuss about for 12 hours then we won't notice that he's not here…oh well, alls well that ends well.

    Oh and this negro I'm dating doesn't give head…which went unadressed by the way!!!

  212. Teacia says:

    In other words, it was just another day at SBM.net…lol…although I don't think I've ever laughed as hard as I did today reading the back and forth of Mikki's frustration, Comeback's "deliverance", Mystery's chilvary, and Sani's…well you know how he is. Good stuff indeed!

  213. MIKKI says:

    I will address it for you Teacia

    Thats a damn shame!!!!!

    This was a good recap except she left our her contribution to the pounce on so called poor misguided low self esteem mikki. At the end of the day I was pissed and asked why did I put myself out there. It just made everybody show true colors which who can be mad at that??? It is after all just a blog right??

    so when is this chicago trip again????? I think we all should meet and have those foam bats to beat eachother with and then hug when its all said and done.

    whose game?

  214. ^^^ i didn't call you poor or misguided…i don't even think I said you have low self-esteem. You ask questions that you don't want the answers to, then call foul, you then state that the answer is doing what you already are doing…its as confusing as when I'm wearing my goggles and when I'm not.

    re:Dave…i don't think i ever fully committed..i'm very torn about what his true value is past the financial fast. Debt elimination is perfect for some things and dumb for others. IMHO…and when you start to bring the bible into wealth creation past tithing…i got other problems…and I don't like to feel like im in prison. I do ok with some of what Dave/Jim Crammer/ Donny Deutsch etc have to tell me.

  215. HNIC says:

    T Your not my "type"

    none of you are my "type", I dont think I have ever described my type. at the moment however I am an open dater as lon as she is of breeeding age and dosent have a y chromosome.

    comeback is my target audience and who I am trying to reach as a type….

    I find you attractive and have an extreme and borderline dangerous weakness for darkskin sistas and long hair. you fit that description and I find your facial features pleasing to the eye and stuff.

    that is all carry on.

    why do you keep sayin im on a soapbox!?

  216. Teacia says:

    Oh ok, I apparently left out the part I played in this whole mess…I was the voice of reason as usual…lol. I didn't agree with Mikki's statement but I didn't belittle her either…my initial response to the blog:

    not trying to upset you or offend you but really, men being used as a means for sexual gratification is not enough to make the world go around, despite what they may think about the capabilities of their johnsons. Yes, as you get older and experience more that life has to offer including the struggles and the triumphs you will see that having a partner is more important that having an on demand dick.

    oh and further adding after Mikki requested the straightforward:

    There is no straighforward yes or no in blogging…the moderator(albeit MIA) puts something out there and the readers expound…having knowing it was you or not our response would have been the same…you did however make this a personal dialogue. You’re only 25, you have your entire life ahead of you, don’t let what’s said here deter you from what you know you need to do in life. But dick and head miss lady, just won’t cut it out here on Reality Ranch.

    which she welcomed with open arms until she asked Comeback to give it to her raw….lol….biiiiiig mistake and the saga began…lol.

  217. Teacia says:

    "I find you attractive and have an extreme and borderline dangerous weakness for darkskin sistas and long hair. you fit that description and I find your facial features pleasing to the eye and stuff."

    so this makes me uhhhhhh…ok

    "none of you are my “type”, I dont think I have ever described my type. at the moment however I am an open dater as lon as she is of breeeding age and dosent have a y chromosome.

    comeback is my target audience and who I am trying to reach as a type…."

    more of your masochistic contradicting statements…lol.

  218. HNIC says:
  219. MIKKI says:

    Oh comeback you lied to me!!!

    *cryin*

    I coulda swore you said you was on the team ah well you lose some you win some. Since I can't get permission to have a guest post. I will just leave my thoughts my my homie Dave. I don't think his ideas are for everyone. He is a radical when it comes to getting out of debt so you are right there. But the point is to sacrifice short term to gain long term. I also think the whole "new money thing" should be implied since I have been on the program I have created ways to bring in new money obviously my 35k is not going to bring me wealth (Well it could but it would take a long ass time) I don't think he needs to expound on the fact that im broke as hell already, shit I know that which is why im working on getting my income up, and i don't think u need any financial person to let u know ur broke and you need a better salary.

    but I digress because me and comeback (a backslider) is going to agree to disagree and SBM doesn't welcome my antics. Don't make me pull the comment where u said u was game!!

  220. Yes Teacia you are ALWAYS the voice of reason. I had my sunny shades on and asked over and over. Do you want the truth…Shelia will agree my intent was not to belittle. True to my word and my color, what I say I say in the open. If I said it to someone else, best believe you know about it first. I went to school with women, I know how we are sterotypically type casted (men ironically run and talk more-but women are known for it).

    Lets check the tape. I did question maturity. To me sometimes "friends" are dangerous. They tell us what we want to hear. I personally want the truth. I want to hear that hey Tiff/Comeback you probably not gonna be able to go get a man who sidestepped you two years ago, your friend probably ain't gonna be able to pretend like she's Oprah and bring yall togehter either, and if he can be manipulated…well he's probably gonna wanna whip your azz when HE DOES FIND OUT YOU TRICKED HIM.

    I wanna hear…hey this is straight no chaser..LIKE I've heard constantly from other women…are you the person you would want? would you take you on a date? Are you checking under your hood?

  221. I'm game on debt elimination. I have always said there are better ways to do it. i'm not down with some of his views, that i think perpetuate more "poverty consciousness".

  222. Teacia says:

    Oh Comeback I didn't disagree with your responses, only outlined them…she had to hear it from all sides…i'm the sugar your the spice..so it works.

    And you and I both know that I am not always the voice of anything…lol…I told you I don't do you Tiffany!!

  223. Hasani I think you done wore me down.

  224. MIKKI says:

    <<<Walking over to Hasani's side of the rope

    I will miss you girls dearly don't try to stop me from crossing over….

    going going

    gone

    *ouch* did that heffer just try to trip me??

    Ok comeback your more of a Robert Kiyosaki type girl, I got chu, tell jimmy i said wut up doe

  225. HNIC says:

    Good then Ill pick you up saturday at 7?

  226. HNIC says:

    stats I came across while looking up what % of black women over 30 are unmarried and have no children.

    its amazing because all the census reports talkl of how many black women are unmarried… and how many unmarried black women have children total, but I cant seem to find out how many over 30 d.

    anyways heres some tid bits I came across

    The percentage that cohabitation turn to marriage within 5 years are 75% for White women, 61% for hispanic women, and 48% for Black women

    Cant wait til census 2010 sheesh. why are we in the 40's and whites in the 70's?

    33% of all first marriages end in separation or divorce after 10 years (32% of White women, 34% of hispanic women, and 47% of Black women).

    53% of divorced women go on to cohabitation in 5 years (58% chance for White women, 50% for hispanic women, and 31% for Black women

    why are you guys getting divorced and staying single!?

  227. "Good then Ill pick you up saturday at 7?"

    can I make sure you're too creepy on the phone first?

  228. "can I make sure you’re NOT too creepy on the phone first?

  229. SBM says:

    @Comeback & Hasani: Take that sh*t over email. Tired of hearing your love life play out publically! Just let me know why u get the draws!

    @Mikki: You really set yourself up. Told you it was a dumb comment. And you just dug yourself way deeper with your "justification". I woulda joined in, but after my 7 hour meeting and considering it was bike night … I figured someone else could knock some sense into you!

  230. HNIC says:

    Make sure im not creepy?? You mean you havent already figured that out?

    SBM: Her comment wasnt Stupid…. its her opinion. Thats just like alpha types saying you and I are stupid because of our views on women. at least hers is a primal urge…. whats our excuse? How is sayin "I WANTZ TEH MONIEZ!!" like most wmen would say less stupid than I want god sex??

    think about it, I have been on dates with two women who make or next year will make over 90k and are over 30. in no way shape or form are you poor or in want for anything when you make that type of cash. yet both have problems with how much I earn….

  231. Teacia says:

    First Hasani…you and SBM are NOTHING alike…u don't share the same views on anything…lol. And I think if YOU didn't have such a problem with how much you make nobody else would. I was discussing you with a "friend", and we've come to the conclusion that you either need to step your financial game up or start dating less ambitious women…no one wants a pussy who whines and complains about his life all the time, while pointing the finger at us to make himself feel better…get over it already!! I'm not in the 90k margin but I'm also not far from reaching it(being a self appointed CEO and all…lol)…and I have to admit that if a man is happy with himself then I am happy with him. Maybe you should become a teacher…women can't resist a man who gives his time back to the youth, and for minimal pay…it's noble and a sure fire way to make a women's heart melt. (and please don't get on your soap box about volunteering…follow along please)

    Comeback don't do it!!!

  232. blog goggles on

    Hasani Teacia has a point. What is about powerful women that turns you on so much ? You know that in every relationship there in lies a form of trade…I know you bring your stainless steel cooking pan game to the table…but not all of those women are made the same. And boo boo 90k in NYC metro is barely keeping most of those women in a good pair of shoes, a walk in closet, and a 600 sqft apartment. Lets be real.

  233. HNIC says:

    Teacia: such a loaded statement. If I say I have noproblem with how much I make… you call me a deadbeat with no "ambition" and keep callin me a hippie. if I say im not happy with it you will call me insecure and say a woman cant be happy with how much I make because Im not.

    I got to my company… I was THAT nigga on the loading docks. yes the loadin docks. I came every day to lift and load boxes in a shirt tie and slacks. Tok everything serious, was nice to everyone even the ther people on bottom and networkedI, went to crporate outings and kissed the right asses and shook the right hands. love corporate climbing. now I got a job I am not hardly qualified for the old fashioned way…. someone gave it to me.

    So I can say all this to diffuse your loaded question. I am more than happy to make what I make because I know I could still be that nigga loading boxes onto a truck. Trust me, I am not missing the 16k. But corporate policy is you cant have more than a 100% increase to your salary. (yes math majors its not too hard t now figure out how much I make)

    But its not like I make a poor mans money, the women sure nuff dont NEED anymore.

    Now… its not that I need to step my game up, its mre like the women in the dating pool need to WAKE up. your sef appointed CEO title dosent impress me nor any other real family type man. spinsters dont really impress anyone else ……except for other spinsters.

    Tell you and your friend… when either of you guys find a single man of our age that has a higher "RANK" (not to be confused with payrade) in his corporate job than I do… which would make them a Unix/SAP engineer…. hes not fat (because most of us Unix SAP types are) and hes still singe and wanting to date…. call me. but til then Sani is "A list" material and dont you forget this.

    oh and the "wiomen cant resist a man who gives his time back to youth comment made me LOL. do you forget who your talking to sometimes???? That was along the same lines as saying women want a man they know can commit and almost as silly as your "Im beating you in the dating department". Wanna o for a clean sweep and say I need to be a man that holds a conversation well…. how about teling me I need to be a man who dressed well? a man that knows how to write an essay? editorial? play video games?? just take whatever things that are arady estabished as things I am good about and make me the man I am… and tell me the problem I am having is because I am NOT doing that.

  234. HNIC says:

    Comeback: what is it about powerful women that turns me on so much? is that a trick question? Im gonna hurt your feelings and prob lose all the work I have made towards winning your affections…

    but the "powerful" women are all that is left in the dating pool. Men already married all of the good women…. they have a condo, a minivan and babies about now.

    Im off to the gym its chest and back day YAY!! bbiab kids

  235. blog goggles on

    "now I got a job I am not hardly qualified for the old fashioned way…. "

    Hasani please don't run around broadcasting this…

  236. "but the “powerful” women are all that is left in the dating pool. Men already married all of the good women…. they have a condo, a minivan and babies about now. "

    I really want whats best for you…perhaps you shouldn't work with stale azz bread…your cast iron pot should have fresh veggies/meats/potatoes, from Whole Foods no doubt (let me see if they got any coupons).

  237. the champ says:

    “but the “powerful” women are all that is left in the dating pool. Men already married all of the good women…. they have a condo, a minivan and babies about now. ”

    slate.com had an article about this a month or so ago. i'd link to it but i cant see to find it anywhere on their site.

  238. Teacia says:

    "If I say I have noproblem with how much I make… you call me a deadbeat with no “ambition” and keep callin me a hippie. if I say im not happy with it you will call me insecure and say a woman cant be happy with how much I make because Im not."

    nigga who the hell is "you"…oh you mean the women you're dating that makes 90K a year…again maybe you're aiming a little high and to be all the way real with you, you date them to overcompensate for what you lack in. yep, you have super low self esteem and being able to pull in "powerful" women make you feel better about you…unfortunately for you, they can smell your bullshit a mile a way and are happy to be rid of you when your gone…lol.

    sani there are plenty of black women who are handling business who don't make 90k or even 50k a year but are still well above the poverty line who would love to have a man as "content" are you are…again maybe you're reaching a little high mister…

    "But its not like I make a poor mans money, the women sure nuff dont NEED anymore."

    what women…oh you're mentioning those 90k chics again who don't even make up the majority of single black women…how about you look up that damn statistic since you're hell bent on living by them.

    "Now… its not that I need to step my game up, its mre like the women in the dating pool need to WAKE up. your sef appointed CEO title dosent impress me nor any other real family type man. spinsters dont really impress anyone else ……except for other spinsters."

    no baby boy, you've been asleep at the wheel this entire time…while you've been trying to win Comeback's affection, you've overlooked several women on the blog who are single, not as powerful and do well enough to make it and then some, not to mention ready to gas up the minivan and are just waiting on you…your head isn't on straight Sani baby, you're angry and determined and that can be a lethal and detrimental combination…get it together already before SBM blocks your commenting privileges altogether.

  239. the champ says:
  240. AlanaT. says:

    Awwll* I like this blog! I'm too late to join in the discussion, but I admire all the work you've put into your WordPress. I enjoy breaking themes also. =) Anyways, will be visiting again. =D

    Byebye.♥

  241. the champ says:

    it's main argument, though, is that…

    "This is how you come to the Eligible-Bachelor Paradox, which is no longer so paradoxical. The pool of appealing men shrinks as many are married off and taken out of the game, leaving a disproportionate number of men who are notably imperfect (perhaps they are short, socially awkward, underemployed)."

    …which i disagree with somewhat, but thats another discussion for another day.

  242. Champ …Hasani is DYING for a guest spot can he do a collabo over at your house?

  243. some of those women over there would eat him up and chew him out…Hasani has become our pet, so we do yank his collar, yell at "NOOOOOOOOOOO" at him..but no one reports us to the local animal cops (PSTA)

  244. Teacia says:

    Welcome Alana T….and we do hope you come back…lol. Hasani needs a new friend!

    Champ the article was definitely interesting and being a "strong bidder" I have to say it's right on point. I've been engaged several times and it was my choice to end it b/c I was holding out for something more…lol…go figure. If I was a "weak bidder" I would have been married 9 years ago…so sad but true.

  245. SBM says:

    @Hasani: I have to agree with Teacia, we are really very little alike (Hell … you don't even like Halo 3 that much). You do remind me of the person I used to be. I wasn't always the refined and debonair individual you all know … I use to get no women, was secretly arrogant as I thought I offered 100% of what they wanted, and was mad at all of them for not jumping on it.

    Then I calmed down … let my nuts dropped … and stepped down off my soapbox. Now … life is good. I know how to treat, talk to, and seduce a woman … I'm not mad … and while I have 99 problems, a [chic] aint one.

    I keep telling you … I can enroll you in "I want to lose my bitchassness" university.

    I think you may have provided me inspiration for my next post … just maybe.

  246. "Then I calmed down … let my nuts dropped … and stepped down off my soapbox. Now … life is good. I know how to treat, talk to, and seduce a woman … I’m not mad … and while I have 99 problems, a [chic] aint one.

    I keep telling you … I can enroll you in “I want to lose my bitchassness” university.

    I think you may have provided me inspiration for my next post … just maybe."

    I just choked on my grande pike roast steamed breve 108 degrees with 2 packs of splenda…I say Hasani just needs a blog, non of that broke azz technical gaming stuff where he pretends to be a woman answering life questions. the blogesphere could use another single black male to pontificate life and love.

  247. HA! Thanks for the recap. You all are insane anyway…lol

    Why ya'll get on the woman for her opinion?

    Just cause he don't give head he might do something else better… or at least hopefully.

    @SBM…Then I calmed down … let my nuts dropped … and stepped down off my soapbox. Now … life is good. I know how to treat, talk to, and seduce a woman … I’m not mad … and while I have 99 problems, a [chic] aint one.

    I keep telling you … I can enroll you in “I want to lose my bitchassness” university.

    You really crack me up! Hasani likes the way he or the character he created for the blog is– I think.

  248. HNIC says:

    SBM we are a similar type. Im not a rogue or a deadbeat, joe thug or jay player. I am a single black male in corporate middle class america. We have that in common as a type. But no… you are like me at 20 when I was working at bloomberg. Im an "old" man now. And we obviously come from seperate life experiences. I mean… I have been domesticated for the past 6 years, SBM was in SCHOOL with a backpack and friday pizza the last time I was single.

    Its amazing… I say point out how different SBM and I are… the women slam me sayin "nigga yall the same." I say we are a similar type… and they slam me again "muh fuka yall aint teh same!!" I think the conclusion I am drawin is blogin chicks like to argue with me… to the pint of ignorance ;)

    and no I dont need another blog where I dont write in character. I am fine offering contribution to SBM and his "cause" and vision. he is a fine young man and I greatly admire his work on this site and the traffic in general. Im not a leader im not a follower…. Im a cohort. he has set the table for us other single black men and I aim to follow suit. on this one site you have the two types of black batchlors in america now. The young not drafted protoge' with all the upside in the world, much enthusiasm and lts of modern sturdiness to him and savy that a woman could want. Then you have me the much older and "war torn" version who has "already been in" and is back on the market, with learned temperance and old fashioned manly honor with modern morals. now all we need is joe thug and shareef hood to come on here and help us and we have all 3 types of men out there who are single!

  249. HNIC says:

    MS.D this is not me writing in character. unlike anyone else here.. you can see me everyday sayin the SAME message. you can also google me and see all my editorials and reviews. I generaly tell truths people are uncumfortable saying and back it up with statistics. I am now banned from PR contact with the most successful computer gaming company of all time because of on of my editorials …. and I am a gaming news writer. Now I am a man writing about something I belive in because this is my everyday life. I dont goon 43 dates and have my ego trampled for my own health. I do it for the experience and for the love of my brothers in arms and self …… and to make a Pulitzer caliber editorial at the end ;)

  250. Teacia says:

    temperance: 1. the trait of avoiding excesses 2. Moderation and self-restraint, as in behavior or expression

    Dude that is NOT you…lol, but okay whatever floats your boat.

    And I need for you to stop grouping me in the "yall" category…I obviously wasn't a reader at the timethe original assessments of your character were made, but I stick firmly those that I have made since joining this illustrious family of bloggers. And we don't like to argue with you…we're trying to help you…just like you try to "help" us with all of your statistics…embrace it and get off your nice round lucious and plump ass and change it.

    Oh yeah, and the fact that SBM has it at 25 is a testament to his "swagger"…maybe the "old man" should take a few pointers ey.

  251. Teacia says:

    Ms. D….man I was about to be upset that I wrote that lengthy recap and you didn't even come back to read it. Glad you did though…and yes we showed our asses big time yesterday…charge it to boredom.

    And Hasani please get a new keyboard already…how you gonna write editorials if your space key keeps sticking.

  252. "and to make a Pulitzer caliber editorial at the end"

    now this might get you some chicks…isn't the prize like 1 million dollars?

  253. Teacia says:

    LMAO @ Comeback…truuuuue. Sani get on that…ryt nyh!!!

  254. SBM says:

    @Hasani: Lol … at school with a backpack and pizza thought. Really?!?! You trying to call me young or something? Lol.

    Really though … you have go to stop being so bitter. I'm close to doing a scientific study that proves the inner bitterness seeps out your pores and messes up your pheremones … but results are inconclusive so far.

    @Ms. D: Where is the recap? I tried to read all the comments last night, but had to give up after an hour and a half.

    @Comeback: I completely agree. Especially since Antidater had to retire his blog. VSB is definitely new and good, but Hasani would prove give this "Angry Black Man" vibe that is all to absent.

  255. @SBM..Here is the recap. You have to ask for a recap, these people talk all day about the subject then way far off the subject.

    Recap….Teacia gave us our recap. Thanks you Teacia.

    Okay well now that the little one is settled and I have a few moments before her bedtime story, let me recap it for you.

    Mikki told SBM that once she comes on a million cool one she will no need for men other than sex and head…but it’s gotta be good sex and head. We didn’t know it was her and had a field day on the chic in question, she then came out of the woodworks and we continued to pounce on the notion citing self esteem issues, family issues and other bullshit to belittle the poor girl(of course Comeback led the way). It’s backwards logic…we made no roadway there.

    Mystery gal chimed in in her besties defense, while holding her own and fussing with Comeback but ultimately stating(after 6 hours of fussing) that all her friend was trying to say was this:

    “When a dude puts it down like that, shoot..for the moment, you are more than content with him handling his business downtown! What a lucky girl you are to have (or have had) someone that can! There aren’t many of those types of brothas nowadays (most seem to be into self satisfaction). ”

    which was not at all what Mikki was saying, but we let it ride b/c we had been beating a dead horse for some time now and called a spade a spade and kept it moving.

    Sheila had good advice on accepting singledom(albeit a little off topic)…but good advice nonetheless.

    Hasani was on his usual soapbox although much nicer to me b/c I’m his “type”…while still professing his undying love and devotion for Comeback who again dismissed his ass. Oh and I taunted Hasani about his statistics before finally giving him the answer to the 2 things question, which was not originally asked in the blog but done to appease him…the answers being loyalty and stability.

    Oh and Comeback was ALL over the place….she showed streaks of bipolarness like never before, while maintaining a comedic appeal with the blog goggles on and off(it’s a long story)….but i’ll give u the quick def:

    its when you choose to see something BETTER …when in actuality its a little on the downtrodden, sad, desolate, pitiful side fill in all the adjs. here. Its a coping mechanism, when you want to believe in something that just aint there.

    It’s a little lengthy but there’s your recap…oh and SBM was missing in action all day…I guess he figures if he gives us something to fuss about for 12 hours then we won’t notice that he’s not here…oh well, alls well that ends well.

    Oh and this negro I’m dating doesn’t give head…which went unadressed by the way!!!

    # Teacia

  256. Hassie

    i just wiki'd its 10k…i was thinking of the nobel peace prize its at 1.5 million (but I think its per catagory and split). Sorry :(

  257. @Hasani… ok so this is who you really are. Well bro you need to calm down. Well everyone says you are bitter. I haven't taken the time to read all your essays, but I do know you are a different breed of man. I can't quite figure out why but Comeback and Teacia knows and thats all that matter.

    Hey I accept you for who you are. But some of the stuff you say seem unrealistic and I couldn't believe that someone really thinks like this. But hey it's all good in the hood. You are cool with me no matter what they say about you…lol

    Is the link I get when I click on your name your writing?

  258. Teacia says:

    Ok so I too finally decided to read some of Sani's stuff on "his" link….and is it me or is he pretending to be a CHIC!! LMFAOWROTFL!!! (laughing my fucking ass off while rolling on the fucking floor)….SANI CUT IT OUT!!! Come on now…please tell me you're not impersonating a chic…and now we see why the bitchassness spills over to this blog. You are in fact crazy…damn, I sure hope this isn't your site!!

  259. Where has everybody been he been done hiped me to "Evil Princess Sara" ON HERE.

  260. that was around the time that EVERRRRRRRRRYBODY also was like "Why don't you wanna go out with Hasani"…I mean if you gonna match me..I'm taking my own well crafted notes. I guess self-preservation is ALWAYS in check.

  261. Teacia says:

    I didn't know he was crazy…come on now, he just seemed a little desperate to meet you, which initially was kind of cute, but once you throw in impersonating a female with all that negativity…no mam, one time for self preservation.

    And why didn't you just say he was a cross-dresser…we all would have understood then.

  262. HNIC says:

    Theres NO pointers I need from SBM. he is me if I chose another path and was younger. you dont go backwards young lady you push onward.. dating at 25 is not the same league as dating at 30. I have it much easier than he does and he has to have twice as much going for him than I need to have. if I throw up a profile on blackplanet saying Im a single 25yo male and use my pic from 25 ill prob get 4 hits. I throw up my profile there and say im 30 and im prob gonna get 55 hits. Being single black workingg male with no kids isnt a delicacie at 25, its standard. and in the early 20's I would need sooo much more flash to get a 2nd date. I couldnt show up in my honda civic, I would need a lex and gold jewlerly and a white T or whatever these young thangs like in young men these days.

    He and I are guards of the same castle, only he works the day shift and I work night. and I admire the younger black single man for the work they do in the dating lifestyle…. cuz Im rather happy in my league…wouldnt wanna go back either.

    miss D. my theory seems unrealistic? has our society come to the point where you dont realize normality and view it as heretic ranting? I write because I think most 30 year old middle class "divorced" decent black men think as I do…. i think this bcause I know other black men like myself and this is our life… Im just the one who happens to be a journalist AND love my blackness. My "master" is also a lack journalist, you should read his blog he says the same things and he has similar life experience and is better lookin. (thats why he is the master)

    comeback and teacia say I am bitter, but think I am attacking them personaly everytime I say a truth or theory that applies to them. When I say everytime I have ever seen comebacks smile I was absolutely mesmerized I am telling the truth. When I tell her I am not impressed with her pedigree Im only interested in who she is… thats the truth, not me being "intimidated by a career driven black woman" and when I tell teacia her self appointed CEOship is meanlinless (if not invalid) and how I pity her for thinking life is about what she earns, what she wears and how "many" short duration relationships she can have…. and not knowing its about HOW you love and how many people love you as viamently. Im honest when I say this… and its percived as me being bitter. infact you go back to the other post, teacia actually thought my "ex" and I had a bad relationship, and I was bitter because of how is "scared" me. thn you saw me laugh and correct her ditsy… but oh so round and fine…ass and explain I am empowered and borderline arrogant about my love life because it was a blissful 10 years that many should rightly envy. shit ike that happens when you assume and when you dont read. but you dont have that problem, you read and have such a rational and refreshing air about you anytime you come onto the blog. this is why your my favorite poster :)

  263. Just cause he writes as a female doesn't mean he is crazy. He is WRITER!!! He can use another personality or write in a different character.

  264. well he didn't admit technically to being "Princess Sara" he just alluded to it…but its all good. He certainly have an active imagination…Princess Sara is still rather in to S&M–which is why he can certainly be a man writing for an extremely masculine woman…no judgements.

  265. "He is WRITER"

    ummm yes he is…but he's not writing literary fiction like say a Baldwin or a Wright…he is writing for a GAMING SITE and giving love advice (its rather off beat and little different) but again I look between the lines and there is peanuts missing in the nutty butter.

  266. @Hasani… Glad to know I am your favorite poster. But I hear you loud and clear bro. You know I respect you for who you are I just don't always agree. As far as your love for Comeback… I just hang my head and shake it. Like I said if a women doesn't accept you for who you are then keep it moving.

    I think they may pick on you sometimes because you make yourself an easy target. All in all I understand what you are saying.

    @ Comeback/Teacia…Why does it matter that he may writes as a female? Just wondering.

  267. Teacia says:

    Hasani's a cross dressing idiot who's dumb, distasteful, weird and bitter….oh and alone and can't keep anyone interested in the newfound single and crazy Hasani…enough dwelling on the past negro…what the hell are you doing with yourself now?….yeah, that's what I thought.

    …back on the soapbox you go!

  268. Teacia says:

    "infact you go back to the other post, teacia actually thought my “ex” and I had a bad relationship, and I was bitter because of how is “scared” me. thn you saw me laugh and correct her ditsy.."

    I'm going to stop there b/c not now nor have I ever been "ditsy"…please don't confuse me with that ex of yours…and just b/c you went on this long rant about some chic who used you up and left you, doesn't give credence to you having a good thing. If it were so damn good, you would still be basking in it together…see it for what it was will you…lol.

    Why do I even bother…I'll check back with you at 50…maybe then you'll understand the mistakes of your 30's.

  269. Ms Dev when you ask these questions are they coming from a rhetorical place or are you opening the floor to banter???

    I don't have a problem with a LITERARY writer who writes fiction and naturally is able to capture a woman's POV and voice. I am puzzled by a man who's genre is gaming, and writes a love column for a gaming site, and names her Evil Princess Sara. Its just peculiar. I wouldn't go so far as to call him a cross dressing dumb man, just a peculiar one.

  270. @ Teacia… that was so mean. Why would you say that about anyone? Even you felt that way you shouldn't verbalize it.

    That fella must have really pissed you off. * dropping my head while scratching it* I just don't get it.

  271. Teacia says:

    and here i was thinking it was going to be a slow blog day…damn.

  272. Teacia says:

    Ms. D, what Hasani writes on his blog is his business and choice. I find it ackward that a man who has such a distaste for and misunderstanding of women would actually impersonate a woman as a love guru. Yes he's had a lengthy relationship…kudos already…(on btw, Hasani ur cookie cake is in the mail) but coupled with everything else it's just a bit much..

    …oh who cares, I'm officially done interacting with him anyways.

  273. Teacia says:

    …i never claimed to be nice.

  274. @Comeback…Ms Dev when you ask these questions are they coming from a rhetorical place or are you opening the floor to banter??? I just wonder people reason for things. It's definitely not rhetorical. I really want to know.

    @Teacia…ok, I was just taken back by your choice of words. Thanks for the response.

  275. "I really want to know."

    aren't there men out there that you take verbal and non-verbal cues from, whom you would rather not date? On some level isn't it a good thing. if its negotiable enough maybe it challenges you to see outside your "preconcieved norm"…but anything else seems a little desperate. One doesn't suit one will certainly suit another.

  276. aren’t there men out there that you take verbal and non-verbal cues from, whom you would rather not date? Yep.

    I hear ya Comeback, and I agree with your last comment. I still however would have just went on the date. But my curiosity is a beast and gets the best of me alot.

  277. Teacia says:

    Sorry to disappoint you Ms. D…but i'm just so through with Hasani and that was my breaking point. I'm always trying to be objective but no more of that.

  278. "I hear ya Comeback, and I agree with your last comment. I still however would have just went on the date. But my curiosity is a beast and gets the best of me alot."

    yeah ok…but at some point a date is a waste of "me", "friend" or family time. A free meal/movie/popcorn/martini is not enough to satisfy what I already know.

  279. "I’m always trying to be objective but no more of that."

    I understand…At no time has Hasani EVER not been antagonistic EVER. Even when every body else has on their sunny shades…he got his guns drawn. Chill out…

  280. I guess ya'll made your point. New blog SBM this one is all tapped out.

    Hasani we are still cool though…lol

  281. even though your still his favorite poster and he has a love hate relationship with other women on this blog … i think he at least should try to be more civil to his "non-favorite" posters. Just because we don't always agree, doesn't mean he has to be in full attack mode ALL the time 24/7. Maybe we can propose tomorrow be "leave my azz alone" day..where no one's intent is to attack. we may disagree but remain pleasant.

  282. sunny shades ON and activated.

  283. @ Comback: I agree you all should really stop attacking each other. Its rather annoying. You and I is SBM agrees declares tomorrow as " Peace on Blog" day. You can state your opinion but you can't personally attack anyone.

    Everyone put your two fingers in the air and in a nice polite voice say….peace on blog dude…LMAO! I am so corny sometimes.

    Does everyone agree with they 'Peace on Blog' Day?

  284. MIKKI says:

    Woooooooooooow and here I am thinkin yesterday was bad……..

    I agree on "peace on blog" Day

    I got 15 minutes to take a nap!!

    shit shit shit!!

  285. "I agree you all should really stop attacking each other. Its rather annoying."

    WOW…i think it takes two to tango. Some people set themselves up for it…others walk or RUN clearly right into it…and others agree on everything to I assume avoid the confusion and appear as the voice of reason. An excess of it all too me is agonizing…

    but lets wait to here what the rest of the jury says along with the judge (who I guess is on smoke break)

  286. Thanks Mikki ..if you have any frustration or anger to let out…you can bring it. My sunny shades are on early.

  287. "and others agree on everything to I assume avoid the confusion and appear as the voice of reason."

    Against my better judgement, I am going to ask if this statement is directed to anyone in particular…curiosity getting me again…lol

  288. Teacia says:

    I decline the motion…peace is for losers!!

  289. "Against my better judgement, I am going to ask if this statement is directed to anyone in particular…curiosity getting me again…lol"

    naww it was for Anti he is rather on the fence bout every damn thing under the sun, to which I assume is to not ruffle SBM's feathers, unless there is some math involved. Anti did I ever tell you I really do dig math boys.

  290. MIKKI says:

    haha ok I got about 8 minutes of eye closure/kitty nap

    8 minutes later……

    Comeback you sure? I would hate to say something only to find out its really not the sunny shades, You have bamboozled and hoodwinked me once before. You know the bush saying goes "fool me once shame on me, fool me twice welll it just aint no more foolin me!!!!"

    Teacia peace makes the world go round embrace the love!!!!

    I crossed over to Hasani's side and I like it over here, they serve mikes lemonade and scrimps!!!

  291. @ Teacia, lol you might get out voted… increase the peace with have to build the black community somehow. Might as well start with the blog.

    I like Anti!

  292. ***activate SUPER Sunny Mary Poppin's googles***

    it starts with one. You can still say what you like. We don't always have to agree and certainly not to make people like us more…but just be nice about it Sunshine.

  293. Teacia says:

    I think I may sit out peace day and come back when everyone takes off dem damn goggles!

  294. Teacia says:

    Oh and I like Anti as well…just not that fond of…well you know who.

  295. "I think I may sit out peace day and come back when everyone takes off dem damn goggles!"

    Dearest Teacia…can I sing you a song….('just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, makes the medicine go down…The honey bee that fetch the nectar…From the flowers to the comb…Never tire of ever buzzing to and fro.."

    i forgot the garsh dang words…

    am off.

  296. SBM says:

    @Comeback: It takes two to tango, but what about everyone else on the dance floor who you keep bumping into because your ass can't keep a beat and wants to flail your arms?

    @Everyone: Peace Day tomorrow … Its Official. And I'm pulling comments as I deem fit … just for tomorrow!

  297. Teacia says:

    It's official, I will not be censored…I'm taking tomorrow off!! Enjoy Peace Day Suckas!!

  298. "@Comeback: It takes two to tango, but what about everyone else on the dance floor who you keep bumping into because your ass can’t keep a beat and wants to flail your arms?"

    Sweetie pie…First of all your appetite for all things melodic are rather sparse, my lovely mellon dew. So if we are dancing to "Pop that coochie", then yes perhaps it is a little crowded with people who just want to two step to a little of my girl Lalah. Have a most SPLENDIFEROUS DAY!!!

    God loves you and so do I.

  299. @SBM…Hell yeah!!! Fight the power. Pull those comments!! *pumping fist in the air*

  300. Dondon says:

    good dick and good head??

  301. @Teacia… *dropping head and shaking in sadness* I don't understand why you can't just come to peace with everyone. Can you not enjoy one day of no bickering is the thought that repulsing to you?

  302. Teacia will be fine, we won't have to ride everyone's undergarments but we won't be down their throuts either, we can find a happy happy HAPPY medium. NAMASTE…

  303. Teacia says:

    Ms. D. I'm just over it…that's all. I have a bad taste in my mouth and don't think I'm capable of being nice anymore…I think my time has come to exit sbm.com.

  304. Mikki says:

    Ms Dev Raise the roof !!! whoooo let the doggsss out!!! woof woof woof!!

    yall better get all yall spit fire shots out today cuz tomorrow its ova!!!

  305. Teacia are you for real…or is this broadway like cat on a hot tin roof…Was it my Mary Poppins Song?

  306. Mikki says:

    Teacia who done upset you? We all have our moments I know!! But you can't leave now the party just started!!

  307. Yes…the party??? and Hasani is baking cookies in his stainless steel bakeware he got for christmas. You will LOVE his little sprinkles he puts on the cupcakes. Won't you stay for ONE cupcake. He made them from scratch?

  308. Mikki says:

    Yea comeback your song did it…

    haha man yall crack me up

  309. @Teacia……I think my time has come to exit sbm.com…Are you kidding? I guess this is why I should read all these long as comments. Why do you feel this way suga?

  310. Hasani said he's going to make us the BEST chocolate cake in our honor. He said since its summer (and in honor for my special blackness on the hazy days) He's going to layer it with DARK chocolate. He's going to the store to get more hershey chocolate powder. And then he just needs help flowering his pans, he said he may ask SBM to help too.

    …then he will apologize as well.

  311. im sure someone here will lick the bowls….now that settles it.

  312. mystery gal in quest says:

    Yes, I second the motion 4 peace blog day..I can state my point & attack others…or simply just state my opinion..either way works for me..:)

  313. mystery gal in quest says:

    Now, I'm just waiting on the next post

  314. oh he said he's putting splenda on my side…the fat girl WILL be a 10 by Essence Festival.

  315. Mikki says:

    lmao mystery gal where u come from I thought you was sleep!!!

    and yes I will be the one lickin the bowl!!!

  316. OK so are the major players ever coming back?

  317. Mikki says:

    *****UPDATE ALERT******

    To those who wanted an up date on the Mystery girls "Gimmie one more chance" post

    I am sadden to report the guy in question does not want to make a comeback. I really was wishing to make a love connection but dude says its a no go.

    BUT……..

    Neva mind

  318. Can I sing yall another song LOL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcO6NH7zcxs

    "Always look on the bright side of life…"

    The bright side is nobody lost any sleep. Just all this damn excitement. I think yall were more attached to sugar rush you got plotting and planning than this mystery guy himself. I think Teacia (if she was here) would say something about his loss…but she's not here so I'm not sure.

  319. Teacia says:

    It's his loss, we all live and learn.

    300 comments…congrats SBM…let's how much you guys all love each other on "Peace Day"….hogwash I tell ya.

  320. HNIC says:

    As the older domesticated model… I must agree with SBM.

    I tell all my female friends the same thing. you will retain 90% of the men you date if you control 3 (and a half) points of interaction with him.

    1) Food

    Eveen if a man can cook and you live seperate. if you can control him keeping himself with "happy foods" and occationally will bring him or cook happy foods for him… and make sure he keeps himself fed and hydrated, this will keep hit seronin levels high and he will normally be in a brighter more vivid mood.

    2) Release, intimacy

    you man has to get off. Sex or even if its as simple as saying to yourself… shit I dont have time to fuck him and mess up my hair…. hmm let me take this palmers coco butter on his dick and let him shoot a load in my mouth real quick.

    Thats why I said before… sex is a CHORE and nearly all of the women here went balistic. (I also notice it was all the single women who felt this way but we wont try and draw the obvious correlation) Keepin him regulated keeps his horomonoes in check and his sex drive down so he is more proficient in the workplace. you make better and more concise rational decisions when you are more levelheaded. A man with a high sex drive should have sex at minimum twice per week but should be gotten off at least 5 times, thats cumulative by the way. Moderate sex drives should have sex at least 3 times per month but get off no less than 17.

    3) Space

    yes I know … the final frontier;……haha!

    but seriously trek fans, its prob te most important. especially for black men you dont already "own" you will need to master spacing. not "stfu" as SBM says its a very delicate and skilled art. Too much pressure and we rebuke, too litte and we will walk away. Spacing also has to do with "pressure" he deals with related to you. if you press his buttons on monday you cant be in his face tuesday and wednsday because thats too much. and I must also point its NOT a consistant thing. some months we will need more space and less pressure and others we will need more pressure and less space or a combination and variations anywhere inbetween.

    and the "half"

    EGO

    all men… not boys… not thugs…. have a sense of ego esteem and pride. for the advance woman, learnin to control this and use it to your advantage will get you very far ahead. ask any happy man how and why he is with the woman he is with and 8 times out of 10 he will usually tell you she makes me feel good. if you look why most black men who only date white women do so, they will usually say "they make me feel good and black women put me down"

    my sister always told me, the key phrase to getting any man to do what she wanted was calling him "stud" when asking what she wanted to do in a questioning way. "getting my car fixed wouldnt be a problem for you now would it… stud?" this way worked for my sis like a dream and as I am now older I can see why. It plays on our sense of ego by empowering the man and making him feel important and prideful. the next step AFTER that is to actually respect the man… which is where my sister has fellen short at.

  321. temps says:

    Boy from the little I have read A Guy ask a "Girl whose BG we dotn know "what do womEN want" when the answer comes back in teh extreme negative the fight is on!!!

    For one, who know what WOMEN want individually, I never take anyones advice into my life, if that what that chikc wants cool, I sure as hell dont think ALL ladies want it.

    I dont care what WOMEN want, I want to know what my woman (when I get her ) wants I cant speak for her self deluded sister who thinks ALL men cant say no to a phatty!! And WOMEN generalize as much as men. Had to get that in there

  322. smoove gp says:

    Yeah yeah I'm late as shit, I know.

    On the piece:

    "yall got shit so twisted and it comes out in every post you make. Home >careerLove >> Money dem mexicans are broke as fuck laughing at yo ass because 6 of them are all living in a 2 bedroom house.. all in love and happy togethr working and helpin eachother to make a better life for themselves and their children. do you ever see any depressed mexicans? they poor as hell. you think Im poor? Im not the one makin 5 an hour. I also dont see any 26 year old singl mexican women… much less be mutha fuckin 33 and single. I dont see any mexican women so bitter and so obsessed with materialistic things that she drives her man away and is then a single mother of 2…. actually I dont know any mexican single mothers.so yeah… talk all that shit again about money and how its required to make your life viable, and I will keep pointing you to the barrios of new brunswick and princeton."

    *emptying the clip on the strap*

    *buckshots too*

  323. AC says:

    didn't read everyone's comment, but in response to the lady in the actual post…she is definitely not the poster girl for what women want…A HOT MESS!

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