After 20 years of research … we are finally approaching a effective male contraceptive (condom doesn’t count).
Personally … I am all for it. I welcome it with open arms and damned if I wouldn’t sign up for the trial if I could.
A little background:
After reading about it here and here, I have found out the basics. Apparently there are a couple of options. There is a gel you can use, a pill you can take, an injection, and an implant. The side effects seem to be pretty minimal, and they are having great success. The implant is supposed to be the first to market … and it all looks good.
I was talking to someone about this … a woman … and she told me “Men are too lazy to take control of their own birth control. I don’t like taking a pill everyday … and I know ya’ll [lazy ass n***s] ain’t gonna do it!”. Uh … who has been the one carrying condoms in their back pockets for the last 100 years? The duty of finding and putting on a condom has generally remained the burden of the man trying to have sex … so whats so different about a little implant a shot every once in awhile.
I have publicly stated that my #2 fear in life (might be #3 … something) is getting the wrong person pregnant at the wrong time. So … if there is something I can do to help prevent that (the potential increase in condom less sex is just an added benefit) … again … I am all for it.
Now, this could be a touchy subject for some. Contraception (besides condoms) has only been available for women for … well … ever since it was available period. Besides a thin sheet of latex, we as men haven’t had anything to protect us besides prayer and the classic “pull out”. I already hear the one guy saying “I ain’t taking no pill or nothing! F*ck that!” or “What you mean I’m not gonna make sperm! F*ck that!”. Or, are you gonna get the teenage son asking dad “can you get me the pill?”. How does dad respond (“way to go son” comes to mind)?
So … is contraception a female’s responsibility? Is the condom the only thing a man has to worry about? Is this doomed to failure? Is this possibly one of the greatest inventions of my lifetime?
Family … what do you say?
I think this is a good idea to help prevent pregnancy, but I think many men (young and old alike) will be very cautious in trying out this new method. However, this should not be an excuse to not use condoms, because one can still catch an STD or HIV/AIDS on the pill.
This will make alot of tryfe women VERY upset, but I bet you the divorce rate wil instantly come down 7% within the first 3 years.
I myself would not be cautious about a pill that is birth control…. thats like saying Im not gonna take Plavix because it may NOT prevent my heart attack.
please none of you anarchist types… dont post your million and seven reasons why this would be a bad idea just for the sake of causing chaos… this is so such a fantastic thing.
Honestly speaking… I think it's both parties responsibility to take the necessary pre-cautions to not get pregnant or even worse catch a disease. I do however think there will be a higher STD rate because teen boys will substitute "safety" with a pill that doesn't protect you from STD's. I've been screaming for years that men should have birth control pills for them so we women don't have to be the only ones to worry about the swollen/tender breast, mood swings, severe nausea and every other hormone changes the pill gives you.
@HNIC… kneegrow, you have got to be one of the most "negative" people to comment and blog this early in the freaking morning (lol). Out of everything you could have said about the "male pill"… you chime in talking about triffling women. Guess what? There are triffling MEN too! I can't tell you how many dudes have told me in the past that they would love for me to have their baby…and a sistah made sure she kept her jeans on extra tight after those comments! lmao.
Let's not be so one-sided Hasani.
Personally, I think it's a woman's responsibility. Ultimately, she's the one who, if caught up in a dead beat relationship, will end up with a dead beat father to her child. If she doesn't want that to happen, dont' wait for the man to pull out the latex, come prepared on your own.
Sure a male condom will protect against unwanted children, but what about unwanted diseases? For some reason, I see this as a reason eventually the STD rate will rise. Although nothing is 100% effective against STD, I think this would be good for those who want to double up and kill two birds with one stone.
Protect ya neck (C) ODB.
OK… how many people do you know who get pregnant because the man wanted to keep the woman he was sleeping with…. he liked her… but she was sleeping with him but didnt really like him…. and he decided to poke a hole in her diaphram/switch her birth control pill/ tell her "its ok, Im pulling out, you dont have to take the pill"
find me two of those… please… cuz I know none. yes we all know SOMEONE is going to come up with one situation they heard of… "omg my uncles cousins former room mate used to do that all the time" but come on now.. really….
I can be one sides, this is a post about male contraceptive not contraceptive in general…. its one sided to BEGIN with lol.
STD? cop out!
are people eating worse now than 7 years ago or better? cuz last I checked people are eating better.. whens the last time you ate soulfood 4 days in a row?
because we now have plavix… so because there is a cure for your heart disease.. based on your theory shouldnt we all be eating buttermilk pancakes fried in crisco with extra rich butter for breakfast and fedduchinni alfredo with bacon for dinner?
"hey dude… give me another side of bacon.. fuk it ill just take plavix later…. actually fuk it, just give me the whole bottle of wesson oil as a chaser"
Side story thats kinda related.
I been talkin to SBM about the girl upstairs from me. Shes 26 and has 3 children an seperate fathers.
now on a side note, she is a point of comedy because she is ALWAYS comming up with things that break in her house or computer to get me to "come up and check on thangs" which I always find hilarious.
OK anyway, over the winter she gets in an argument with the man she is seeing so she wants my phone to call him.. since he is not responding to her phonecalls.
May, she informs me she that she is pregnant. I look at her kids running around the the outside of my window making noise and pegin to take out my soapbox to preach to her, since the situation wont help anyone. here are a list of exscuses she gave me as to why she dosent use birthcontrol
"condoms smell bad and turn me off" (obviously you dont have a problem getting turned on)
"The shot isnt effective, thats how i had my first baby remember…."
"The pill makes me fat…."
"the implant is dangerous"
"I cant get my tupes tied… what if I meet a husband and he wants to have children and leaves me because I cant have a baby for him"
ya She went thru them all. I finally get her to agree to get an abortion and offered to help pay. The next day she agrees, at which time I pull my offer to pay (simp eh?) I personaly TAKE HER to the abortion clinic 4 towns away so nobody sees. She goes in… thank god its done … right?
She informs me that she took a birthcontrol test just "to make sure" she wasnt pregnant. I thought it was odd she tells me this I thought abortions were 100% final but .. ok. she says shes not pregnant the month after.
The other day she comes over and informs me she didnt get her period and shes still pregnant. Pregnanat again? I ask
"No it musta not worked… ima call the clinic and cus them out" "it must be gods plan and stuff like you always talk about… right?"
I mean.. seriously, this is why I have gone for a vasectomy at 30 years old and thats why I use a condom and use gel spermacide and throw away my own condom… EVERY time im sleeping with the person I sleep with.
being negligent is not only bad for you its bad for the child. kids need BOTH parents and having a child just because you are too fukin stupid to use birth control is unacceptable
I think there are pro's and cons to this. On one hand it will allow men to take more control of their future fathering possibilities, but it will also encourage a lot of young and irresponsible men to have unprotected sex knowing having a baby is out of the question. I know it goes both ways, the woman should be the advocate for safe sex as well, but the reality is young girls and boys are not as serious about safe sex as they should be.
As a matter of fact I am sure the STD rates would go up…ladies how many times have you been about to get busy with your guy, and he asked are you taking anything and you flatly state NO and this negro STILL wants to have unprotected sex and exclaims he will pull out and then doesn't b/c it just feels too damn good…and the next thing you know you're either heading to Walgreens for the morning after pill or making your 6 week check-up appt for an ultrasound.
The reality is that both men and women are irresponsible. Men may not poke holes in diaphrams to keep chics around, but they are also knowingly irresponsible at times. But I think this is a good idea, I think men do need to feel empowered with something as important as controlling who they procreate with. I welcome it, because I don't like taking birth control pills 365 days/year…some days I just plainly forget. And I don't like getting stuck with a needle every 3 months since it causes me to retain water and gain weight, and I don't like sticking a patch to my body which leaves an adhesive mark on my skin that is damn near impossible to get off no matter how hard I scrub, and I don't like to insert a foam 15 minutes before sex b/c it's just too damn messy, and I don't like walking around with a plastic ring in my body that releases hormones and causes cramping and sometimes even bleeding.
So I'm ALL for it. Do I think men will step up and actually stick with it, in most cases absolutely NOT. I don't know a man that can keep a doctors appt every 4 weeks to get poked with hormones, I don't know a man that will remember to take a pill 365 days a year, I don't know a man who will let you get close to their Johnson to insert something under their skin to stop sperm from forming. Yeah men have walked around with condoms in their back pockets since forever but that takes NO real effort, there is no sterlization required, there are no painful needles, there's no pill despenser that you have to use at the same EXACT time every day…all it takes it a simple trip to the local corner store or gas station and you're set. Again I think it's a good idea, a bit unrealistic, yeah men will jump on board in the beginning but I have no faith in their consistency.
Hasani I actually agree with you, I don't understand why/how women would continue to have kid after kid with no stability in the home. I had my daughter and vowed that I would never have another unless I was either married or rich and just wanted another kid. Having/raising a child is difficult, even when both parents are involved and money isn't an issue. I can't understand for the life of me why women would continue to have children in situations that aren't condusive to raising children. I know a chic who's 22 and is pregnant with her 3rd child, she's barley making ends meet as it is, but saw no problem in having this 3rd child…*sighing*…it's happening all around us.
And that chic didn't go through with the abortion, they are 100%, there's no fetus or embryo left when they're done…there's no possible way she could STILL be pregnant unless she just sat there and couldn't go through with it.
Hasani again sounds like a crazy fool. Vasectomy????
I have scientific reasonings that I would NOT want my man taking the pill. And they are hormonal. I do believe that men get their own periods anyway…and the regulation of testosterone (to my regulation of estrogen on the pill) I think would cause serious serious problems…don't steriods do the converse of what the pill would do?
Yeah Comeback apparently they have to get testosterone shots every 4-6 weeks to regulate their levels…again I don't know a man who would subject himself to that.
"Yeah Comeback apparently they have to get testosterone shots every 4-6 weeks to regulate their levels…again I don’t know a man who would subject himself to that."
I think it would make our beloved here a crying emotional SIMP.
Im a fool for making a conscious decision but none of the other people on here who got knocked up are fools because they dont have a Y chromosome?
I think you have that backwards comeback, your desire to argue with me is blinding you a tad bit this morning. I dont want to fight with you… ever, and much less about an issue not important to you since you wont accept my offer for a date.
If we do date and you do become turned off by the fact… then there is STILL fertilization clinics. science has come a long way.
Dont worry out super lawyer child/ civil rights activist from our combined genetics is still a viable option my darling nemesis
If you're sexually responsible why would you need to have a vasectomy?? wasn't it you who said you don't even have a sex drive?? So did you do it for your barbie dolls?? The decision isn't for a young man in a "committed relationship" with you dear 10 year. The procedure can be reversed …so unless you had it at the local 7 eleven, what are you talking about fertilization clinics for?
Hasani are you trying to call me a fool b/c I have a kid?…lol.
So me not being a fool would have been to abort her right…no that would have made me selfish. There are tons of chics/men who would have kids if abortions were not an option. Neither he nor I were drugged when we DECIDED to procreate, there was no heat of the moment, there was no faulty birth control…we were naive, we thought that we wanted to be with one another and we knew that our child would be destined for greatness because of the capablities of her parents. Our shit didn't work out, but the fact remains that she will play a major role in this world.
My house is quiet this morning b/c my daughter is away spending the summer with her dad, and this topic made me think about my life and if I would want it any different…and you know what Hasani, brilliant child aside I couldn't picture a better path for my life. It's because of my child that I care about the future of your unborn children. It's because of my child I am motivated to help those who don't have responsible parent caring for them. It's because of the love I recieve from my child that I carry with pride the burden to make this world a better one for her and her children.
So Sani baby, if that makes me a fool…I'll be that for you. And I'll be it with no hesitation or resentment.
Teacia Im not calling "YOU" a fool. Im trying to figure out why Im a fool in combacks eyes for being responsible yet theres others out here getting knocked up and they are not called fools by her.
we could debate all day about why someone has a child in the wrong situation. Take whatever path you deem necessary I and my supposedly "uppity" moral set dont have to condone it. if you cant live together for 5 years how can you expect to raise a child together for the next 30 after that? My parents were together for 15 years before they decided to have a child. get married because you love someone… no matter what age. but dont drag a child into your situation until you know you BOTH and provide, care for and shelter it together. yes we all are black and know shit dont work out all the time… but at least start off with the proper foundation. As for you, I wish the best for your G&T program destined "whos who all africanl american"/ w.e.b dobois scholar. but even you have to admit.. as much as you like to disagree with me…
that the situation wouldnt be more optimal if you and baby father had had her inside of a loving co-opertive relationship and raised her with dual supervision in the same household.
Why raise a King when you can raise an Emperor? – Earl woods
I completely agree, but there are exceptions to every rule. My mother and father were together for 5 years, got married and then had 4 children…that didn't stop him from leaving, it didn't stop the marriage from falling apart..and they married out of love…so what say you on that?
And you're right, I would have much preferred that her father and I were raising her in one household instead of two, but being the victim of a 2 parent household that went wrong, I am just happy that she has 2 parents who love her equally and don't drag drama into her life. She actually has a co-operative loving situation under two roofs, instead of a destructive situation under one. And in the end she will have 2 mothers and 2 fathers who all love her unconditionally and have a vested interest in her growth, maturity and success. And I personally think her situation of love is much more condusive than what I experienced with my mother and father who did everything "right" in the order of how things should happen.
And as far as your fool comment goes, you were referring to me, just as you do with most commentors on here with your alleged indirect statments. Having a child doesn't make you a fool, an unplanned pregnancy doesn't make you fool…albeit irresponsible in most cases…it doesn't make you a fool, and in my case a PLANNED pregnancy by two smart yet naive individuals doesn't make you a fool. Being a fool is having a child because you think that it will change a situation or make it better. Being foolish is thinking that your life and relationship won't be affected by having a child. You know if I had my choice I wouldn't change who her father is for anything…and I had several excellent choices…some of whom actually wanted to get married, a lot of men and women can't/won't say the same about their choice while alot of them can/will.
I do believe there is a lot of irresponsibility out there these days with having children, there are a lot of people who aren't ready to be parents and aren't capable of being good ones. But there are a lot of people who are decidely having children out of wedlock, there are lot of women who are getting artificially inseminated who can provide a stable and loving environment, there are gay couples who are not also adopting…the definition of a loving family is evolving and it's about time we stop grouping everyone into something negative just to make the theory sound better.
gay couples who are* also adopting and providing a loving environment…
"Teacia Im not calling “YOU” a fool. Im trying to figure out why Im a fool in combacks eyes for being responsible yet theres others out here getting knocked up and they are not called fools by her."
The woman is grown. She has ONE child. Would my mother be a fool too.
"w.e.b dobois scholar"
Come on now he's name isn't even spelled right. You can't pretend to be a civil right's activist, when cant get a basic leader's name right. That's respect. Try again.
"his name"
and your mama and daddy…are they still together??
STAT TIME!
(click the + button to the right if you dont want to be hurt by facts)
blacks accounted for 50% of the AIDS cases diagnosed in the U.S, while being only 13% of the total population…. da fuk?
41% of men living with HIV/AIDS were black, and among women, 64% of women living with HIV/AIDS were black
In 2006, blacks accounted for 69 percent of reported cases of gonorrhea…18 times greater than that for whites
clymidia rate? 46% eight friggin times that of whites.
syplish? 43.2% for blacks… with black women having sixteen times the reported cases of white women and black men having 5 times that of white men!
(all of this can be found at cdc dont be lazy if you dont believe me)
Two thirds of black marriages will end in divorce
almost 80% of black children are born out of wedlock…. which isnt bad, but I wonder what % of those are non committed relationships (which is VERY bad and unacceptable)
so yea… bring the divorce rate down from 66% to 20%and bring the knocked up mommy rate down from 80% to 20% and you can have your 15% bump in STD's (60% with HIV 56% with clymidia)
And king and emperor are synonomous…the only difference is geographical.
…both meaning sovereign ruler of a country or a nation, usually heriditary.
…just thought you should know.
…but all of your above stats have to do with education. We aren't educating our children, no one is taking an interest in their future…and most of these statistics come from urban areas where the school system is underfunded and overloaded. No one CARES about their future and quoting statistics isn't going to change them. Going around and volunteering your time in poverished communities will.
..you know what I can go on and on but I don't think you will get what I'm saying, so why bother.
Comeback:since when did I become a civil rights activist comeback? I am a normal black man just like every other brotha you meet around the office… only I have a keyboard and talk. Dispite being in the program in 8th grade…. Im still a retard…. i know i know… what were they thinking!
and NO my paternal parents are not together and my Godparents are widowed to answer you.
Teacia: Im totally not having much of a problem with gay people raising a child….. I just think it would be a little sticky of a situation if one person in a gay couple somehow wound up pregnant…..
Im glad we agree on something, this is a good day…. lets me and you have children now
Hasani seriously it only takes a minute to get your own blog.
"Teacia: Im totally not having much of a problem with gay people raising a child….. I just think it would be a little sticky of a situation if one person in a gay couple somehow wound up pregnant….. '
…that's all you took from my statement. This is going to be a longer day than I expected.
"And king and emperor are synonomous…the only difference is geographical."
As us Geeks all know… an empire is made up of many kingdoms.. romance of the three kingdoms is every geeks favorite game! kill all the kings to become emperor of china!
Kings can inherit a kingdom…. emperors have to CONQUER.
just thought you should know.
"As us Geeks all know… an empire is made up of many kingdoms.. romance of the three kingdoms is every geeks favorite game! kill all the kings to become emperor of china!
Kings can inherit a kingdom…. emperors have to CONQUER.
just thought you should know."
—
Can you work site the video game for this pearl (peril) of wisdom
Im not a gloy hound, I dont want my own blog… just like I dont want my own gaming magazine. Im happy supporting other great men who have great ideas. Steve Bauman, Dana Massey, sbm, Mike bloomberg… they are all on the same level
Well while you're riding their jock strap at least do three of them the honor of a wiki entry. And capitalizing SBM might be helpful as well. So that's what you think of driven people "glory hound" does it make you feel better about some of your failures or lack or initiative.
Let me hip you to something real quick.
The women who you find yourself attracted to (PHD, MBAs, CEOs, MDs, JDs, up and coming leaders of industry) are USUALLY attracted to industrious men. They need not be millionaires, but being passionate about SOMETHING THEY ARE ACTUALLY GOOD AT (excluding video game playing in the middle of the night). Men who can speak about what drives them (aside from being a househusband with an apron) is an aphrodisiac. And most women don't want to be primarily responsible for bringing home the bacon.
4 words: stay in your lane.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romance_of_the_Three_Kingdoms_%28game%29
dont worry, if you dont like the game you can watch the movie comming directed by Jon Woo (said to be the largest and most epic film ever made outside of the united states)
also if you are an ultra geek like myself, you can read the books "romance of the tree kingdoms" Luo Guanzhong… I swear to you it will be one of the greatest books you will ever read.
touche' on empire vs. kingdom
i like to give credit where credit is due.
….so all this knowledge and little ambition would make you the ummmm…court jester perhaps.
i agree with comeback, you lack the ambition and self-esteem to maintain a relationship with the very women you salivate over. i want for you to stop belittling yourself, then maybe i'll give it a try…but until then the fun continues.
you seem testy this morning… you want to call me and talk about it Tiffany? Im here to help you not fight with you, incase you didnt know that already.
Im in my lane. Your confusing knowing how to build something together with trying to be an all star. every nigga on the planet thinks they are a special snow flake?
You are a great poster, and a very beautiful woman. but nobody comes to your blog. Its not because nobody cares what you have to say… because traffic picked up on this site when you came on. conversely if SBM disbanded the site and came back up with another name and another site but wrote everything the same way would it be as much of a success?
I think that its a conglomeration of all of you normal posters Anti, sbm, Ms.D and myself… sigh and I guess Tecia too…. that make this site bigger than it would be if none of us contributed at all.
your a black woman, your race got where it is by us doing better banding together than staking out on their own and forsaking others? thats actually the problem with our marriage rate. certain types think they are too good and too special to be with others that are actually their peers.
we need to stop trying to be a special little snowflake…and know that working together can become an avalanche.
ummmm…what does this have to do with you dating equally ambitious women?
Conversely couldnt you both be single because of your lack of ambition….. at home?
I think we can all agree that Home > Work
I went to work to provide for my home… I didnt have a home so I could rest for work /boggle!
The single fathers I know dont have two jobs because they want a new pair of air force ones…. they do it because they want to provide for their child.
besides.. like I said before, There are multi million dollar games that you pick up every day with my name on it. thats not lack of ambition. And how quickly we forget the brotha who worked his way from the loading docks to shit lead of a tier 3 IT support group… sheesh that story alone makes a for a good sitcom.
If I could only find a mate as positive and as fine as I want, I would make a run at city council after (oh you lazy negro you)… but first things first.
but women who have PH.D's and M.D's or even a Juris Doctorate aren't looking for a man who basks in the glory of others and lacks the ambition to put all that talent to work for himself.
lack of desire was the reason i am single…i now desire one and plan to put in the work…so far, so good…i'm definitely on track with my plans…how about u? do u even have a plan?
arent we supposed to be talking about why you guys disagree that male form of birth control is a good idea and I think its a great idea?
Like.. I know im a peach and all… but sheesh! The women I salivate over? you make it sound like I am pavlovs dog looking at his dinner dish. If Im nor mistaken I have been out on more dates this year than either of you have been in your lifetime. thats not looking, thats doing. most have trepidation of commitment, dating and especially sacrifice…. like we have with comebackgirl. dispite having the motto and mantra of making a comeback to love and dating she is currently avoiding my advances dispite me having a whole heaping load of her little X's marked off on her fancy "boy checklist"
but I digress…..
Seriously… if you guys want to talk directly to me this much …
CALL ME
I know such powerful and diversified black women such as yourselves arent afraid of being on the phone with simple minded dumb brute like myself… right?
I have work to do, Hasani. As for my blog, I feel good that the 60,000 hits I've gotten since November is not about driving traffic, its not about making money, its just a diary of my life, its about living in my truth. If people are attracted to it, so be it. If they aren't hey I still eat. I have other things that will make me a fortune in 10 years-this blog is not one of them.
You're a low achiever. And thats ok too. But don't pee on our heads and tell us its raining. You've already mentioned that you work in a job you aren;t even qualified to do. (THAT's NOT A TURN ON). It just shows you talk a good game but you don't like to do the real work it takes to get and stay on top.
Its simple. I do still perscribe a blog for you, maybe it would show you how to be consistant, maybe how to monetize things you might suspect you have a talent for.
Miss ER has more education than you will ever attain in your life… and she says I am the finest and most decent man she has ever known…. shrug
Miss May has more education than both of you put together will ever attain in your life (double PHD) and all she wants is a man who will love honor and cherish her.
The 6ft indian lawyer I just finished dating only wanted a "good man who could make her laugh when she came home" she was just a tad too promiscuous for my tastes
My gal pal is a PHD and earning over 80k a year and at 34 she says liek any other gal I just want a guy who loves me oh and he better be firggin hot.
My sisters god mother has a PHD. Her God father works as a train.
My godmother is an MD… my god father worked on an assembly line at the ford plant
these are the two most successful marriages I have ever seen in my entire life and the four people I base my life around. perhaps you shouldnt talk for the mindset of people who have more education than you could ever hope to attain? want to start answering how black men feel about contracting STD's from a male point of view next? how about telling us how it feels to be a migrant worker here in the US? your view of how it feels to be a survivor of a nuclear holocaust?
ok … back to the TOPIC!
Male birthcontrol is a great idea because we need to be having less unwanted prego women! all you nay sayers need be slapped with a phonebook who disagree!!
there's only one thing you've said that i'm going to address…you could NEVER go on more dates than me and have not thus far…and that's only this year we're talking about…lol, i'm not even going to include my lifetime. the difference is that of our combined dates more men walked away wanting to be a permanent placement in life than the women who RAN away from yours.
but i too agree that male birth control is a great idea, although i believe the execution will be poor.
"My sisters god mother has a PHD. Her God father works as a train.
My godmother is an MD… my god father worked on an assembly line at the ford plant"
Thats all fine and dandy, but those men worked during a time when industrialism was still relatively stable. We are in a new economy and have been in that economy for the last 15 years or so..none of those PHDs told you that?
The new economy has changed the rules a bit…its where people with just 4 years of college easily outearn people who thought one path would arrive to one destination. I'm all for advanced degrees, I am seriously thinking about one (that I can fully pay for without a loan) but it won't be to make an extra 50 or 60k, it would be to enter a completely new discipline and to teach, write and practice. At that point money would be a non factor.
*pulls up a seat and grabs a bucket of pop corn*
I do very much enjoy watching the exchange between you all on SBM, this one in particular only because as of late i've noticed the ladies really giving it to Hasani and he…pretty much taking the bait (literally every single time) and we all get to see him/his comment/opinion getting picked apart normally because of his on rhetoric. Nothing against him because we are all entitled to our opinions, i just find it to be very entertaining.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand.
I also have issue that this would be perceived as a replacement for the condo in cases of non-monogamous relationships, the random hook up, one night stand, just-a-tip (it's ok baby, just in case something happens i'm taking the pill), etc. In addition to the hormone shots (i believe this is only for one of the methods, not both) I wouldn't jump right on this off the gate anyway.
Let the rest of my gender that's eagerly wanting to pop some medication that ultimately shuts down sperm production and is "100% reversible after 16wks of not taking it". Get back to me in about 3-5yrs once this hits the shelves and there's been few to "no issues or side effects" like they are predicting…..Then i'll consider this an option, until then i'll continue with the method that's proven itself effective for me. This method does [b]not[/b] include me putting a device under my skin that i'll need to take shots of something thats already naturally in my body in order to continue to feel like I did prior to….neither does it include me taking a pill that shuts down my sperm count but doesn't affect ejaculation (still not sold on this statistic).
Note: meant to say *condom* in first sentence second paragraph
I am always buying condoms…wait, I didn't mean ALWAYS…hehehe
…but I make sure I have at least one in my purse, in my pocket, in my shoe, stashed down my bra like my grandma used to keep her money…
My point is…with or without a pill…you ain't riding bareback…pregnancy aside…you aren't passing scivies to me, from all the other diseases you can get while up in some unhealthy snatch.
Fam, I'm going to have to catch up on comment reading after work. I'm just now tuning in on today's topic of discussion and hot diggity damn if I didn't just have the most ignorant conversation with a good male friend regarding this subject. Other than it being a waste of more than an hour of my time, he had a nerve to say that using condoms and birth control is the equivalent of an abortion…WTF??!!!??? As if it doesn't take a sperm and an egg to make a child…his argument: you kill the child by using the rubber. That rubber (or that birth control) is there to block that reproduction cycle brutha.
Oh yeah, I know a dude that got fixed. I applaud him for that since he has 4 already. Why should the women be the "responsible" ones to stop reproducing when it's time to quit….assuming that man and woman planning to spend a lifetime of eternity…blah, blah, blah.
I agree with you Neonnea…I just don't think men will keep it consistent. I also agree with you Muse, I was just thinking about the what if I ever came across dirty sperm…how different my life would be if I had an STD like HIV or, gonorrhea. You can't get rid of that with a pill…it's a scary thing. And although at 28 I'm responsible enough to make rational decisions, I wasn't as responsible at 21…if male birth control was a hit back then I know more men would have had no reserves about unprotected sex, and my life because of ignorance and irresponsibility could be fatally different.
It's a scaring thought…a sobering scary thought.
Addition background on the conversation: My friend was trying to justify abortion; however, his reasonings (I felt) were naive and green. Although I am pro-choice, the only reason I would have an abortion is if I were rapped. As an adult, he has a clear understanding of the "birds and the bees." Wait a minute, the "men and the women."
forget about if men keep it consistant… you worry about your own gender and I will handle mine.
because the first 60 years of your team having birthcontrol your fucking it up and dropping the ball…
your take the pill/shot/implant now? 80% unwed mothers having babies
your the head of the households? 80% unmarried rate
now lets see what happens when the men cant be tricked and trapped into pregnancies. Rates wont change a whole lot over all because the implants are not going to be available to the lower class… which unfortunatly is the majority of "african americans" by stats.
but what I care about is the middle class and how it effects us who are in it and those who can actually afford this form of contraceptive, and what it does to dating dynamics.
I know many a nigga who is married to a chick he "kinda" liked at the time.
and theres many a baby momma who was the "bottom bish" weather she knew it or not and get knocked up and decided to "try and start a family" why only in the black community do we have no morals when it comes to working together….no morals when it comes to sacrifice…. no morals when it comes to sleeping with the wrong people…. no morals when it comes to poisons…..no morals when it comes to safe sex… but all of the sudden when it comes to abortion women want to catch the holy spirit?
god this is such a good idea and my black men need this! I view it as a cure and salvation to our number one plague.
My bad I meant Genital Herpes…which just the thought of is disgusting…puss filled bumps on my cooch…laaawwd take me home.
I'm also pro-choice, I used to be pro-life but I continue to live in a world where people take no responsibility for their actions…so I'm now pro-choice. Maybe SBM will tackle abortion one day…he's slowly bringing out the heavy hitting conversations, but I think he's a little scared to get past the fluff…*love you ButtaRone*
you guys are thinking negative.
DO you all eat worse because theres plavix to cure heart disease?
do you let more random nigga cum inside yo coochie because theres a morning after pill?
are we starting more wars because we have atomic weapons??
ok… skip that last one… but seriously. IM just as worried about HPV now as I was before, and theres a shot for that… only works for women.. but theres still a shot. First woman who raises her hand and says "I dont go to the gyno for my papsmear cuz Im not worried about HPV…cuz theres a shot" wins can talk.
If nothing else has gone up because of cures… then why in gods name are you being so nagative about something as wonderous as this? next thing you know someone is gonna come on here saying its part 2 of Tuskegee and the "man" is trying to make the black community inferfile .
get real and stop having babies out of the bonds of love.
PLAN a family
Hasani – Likewise. Other than worrying about STDs, I worry about dudes trying to trap me…Get me pregnant because they don't want to see me with anyone else for WHATEVA reason. They see my potential success track. Sometimes I think "Captain save-a-n!gga" is on my back.
"now lets see what happens when the men cant be tricked and trapped into pregnancies. Rates wont change a whole lot over all because the implants are not going to be available to the lower class… which unfortunatly is the majority of “african americans” by stats.
but what I care about is the middle class and how it effects us who are in it and those who can actually afford this form of contraceptive, and what it does to dating dynamics."
i'm officially sending your ass the corner! YOU ARE NOT A PART OF THE MIDDLE CLASS(first and foremost)!!! You are moderately above the poverty level so I suggest as lower class earner you start dealing with the issues that affect your kind the most.
now you see how ignorant and heartless that shit sounded. negro ain't shit going to change but the disease rate. men who aren't responsible enough to put on the condom won't have access to the birth control like you stated, thus the statistics remaining the same. and no one trapped your ignant asses into anything. PUT ON A FUCKING CONDOM ALREADY! It's not the woman's fault that your broke or dumb ass decided to bypass the local 7-11 and throw a hail mary on your future. it takes 2 Sani baby…2 people to either fuck up or make the decision to procreate.
everytime you get in front of your computer you say SOMETHING stupid, anything you can think of it seems. Hasani you know what, i refuse to believe you're this dumb. no man this dumb can have his opinion valued in a multimillion dollar industry…so again i refuse to believe a word you say. you just like the attention and will say WHATEVER you can to get…yep, you can't be this dumb.
Damn…this a good topic. I've had a vasectomy. I tell all my boyz they need to get one. Take control of your own destiny and don't wait on a woman to handle your business. I promise there's no way anyone can tell me …they had a accident..or you got a baby on the way. It makes my life soo much simpler. It's worth the $$$.
I still would like to know why 10 year left EXACTLY. You can write for days about all of the stats you copy and paste but won't directly cite. Touch on her for a few sentences.
i think a more pertiunant topic would be why a single black woman would who claims to be on the comeback for love… is dodging love from a single black healthy "cute" black man?
i know your not afraid of me getting you pregnant… i dobut we would even have sex, its just one date for christs sakes.
do you think your too good to date me in your own opinion?
"do you think your too good to date me in your own opinion?"
is that a trick question.
Teacia.. if it wont effect anything.. then you and rest of the angry black women types… or the "I wanna get knocked up" types… have nothing to worry about right?
its a great idea… so why argue just for the sake of having something to argue about? hey… wait a minute… isnt the arguing about everything and constantly bitching the thing that most of those black men are saying as to why they date white women? arent We being a walking stereotype?
seriously.. theres nothing to argue about.
you sound just as ignorant talking about what men would do as you do trying to guess what my women who have twice your education and pedigree as you are thinking. Stop speaking for those not in your category. its blatant speculation…. and if that word is too big for you it means your TAKING A HUGE FUCKIN GUESS.
heres a clue… if every fuckin man on this blog says he would do it… and the one woman says "men would" …. guess who is talking without having a darndest of a clue?
lets stop arguing just for the sake of being angry. You have your health, nice teeth, a decent job, good hair and a body that screams "fuck me" louder than Jenna Jamisen sex scene….. by easy and relax mon ami , life is beautiful.
no comeback, its a legit question. do you think your too good or higher quality of a person than I am and thus out of my dating range as we both sit here today.
then why dodge my phonecalls and not answer my emails for just one date?
Ok, so I made it through all of the comments "well pretty much". Too tired to respond to everyone individually, so I'll just talk and pick up whatever applies to you if it sounds like I'm talking to you.
—————————–
I agree, I do think STD rates will increase. Hasani, what are you talking about people eating better!!!!! American are like 10 times fatter than they ever were. And personally, great health care has probably made people care less.
Teacia, can we as men get some credit. Are we all some lazy ass negro's? Why do you think we can't handle taking a pill, getting a shot, or whatever it may be (BTW … injection goes nowhere near the dick … I agree … aint nothing worth that one).
Hasani, did you actually get a vasectomy?
No more references to this "ButtaRone" individual. WTF. Is my nickname gonna be "Delicious" next … cause can't no grown ass man (nor woman) walk around calling me either.
BPrice, it is entertaining … isn't it. Hasani walks right into it, and then asks for more. *sigh*
I do think I would f around and have more condomless sex with this pill (I have given up condomless sex years ago FYI). Its not that I would actively be trying to do it more … but if the strap is at the other end of the room … and u get close to that warmth … and then … wait … what was I talking about?
Hasani, give that sh*t up man.
What would your boys say if they saw you making a public spectacle of yourself.
Anti, please help me school this boy!
I love the idea of male birthcontrol because now I believe there will be a lower percentage of unwanted children in the world. Men finally have the reproductive control they have been complaining about. Athletes, professional men, and other high income earners don’t have to worry about some random broad getting knocked up. I bet the famous attorney William Gray who cheated on his wife and got that nurse knocked up with twins is kicking himself now as he writes the 20k per month child support check. Silly chicken heads and women with questionable morals will now have to find other ways of getting a man to stay and not use a poor innocent child as bait.
On the other hand I hope that STD/HIV rates do not go up. The male condom does not preclude men from making sure ethat their partner is STD/HIV free. I hope that men don’t go around having sex with women raw because having an unplanned pregnancy is minor to contracting HIV.
"i think a more pertiunant topic would be why a single black woman would who claims to be on the comeback for love… is dodging love from a single black healthy “cute” black man?"
Yes you are cute, but so is my neighbors poodle. Do you see me knocking on her door asking for a pooch date? It takes more. You spend too much time trying to find love. That time could be better spent culitivating WHO YOU ARE. You have all these excuses why you are skirting the poverty level and its not attractive to me. I'm not looking for an inconsistant beta male who doesn't understand the pluses of Chicago/MLA format. And cant decide if he wants to hate "the establishment" or date it.
americans eat worse now than before?? Bro, burger, fries and a double malt milk shake is what my MOM had on her date with my dad. I took miss ER out saturday and she had grilled chicken and chicken tortilla soup.
americans are in worse cardio vascular shape than before.. cus we have computers. but we are more educated about what we eat. We wont even talk about what I eat, but I think I am not normal as far as a diet and health goes. But my normal everyday brotha isnt goig to eat fast food every night of the week and soulfood all weekend and suck it all down with 3 lieters of soda and potato chips.
more people in the gym and doing poladdies now than in the 80's …. thats not because they are saying "oh ill just take plavix to cure me of my heart disease when I get sick" infact I dont think any of us think that way. I know I am a black male and according to statistics I am more at risk for heart disease than any other race…. I dont play willy nilly thinking I have a pill to save me, just like I wouldnt think the rest of the black MEN would be just as responsible with birth control.
but lets say for arguments sake… SURE ill take the hit in STD rates and take the substancial drop in single mother rates single father rates and divorce rates.
Because if we have better marriages, we raise better and more aware kids.
We raise better and more aware and responsible children… trust me the disease rate will drop as well.
@B. Price: he likes the attention, good or bad, it’s still attention to him.
@Muse: Finally a man who sees both sides of the equation. I think it’s a great idea, but I think the STD rates will skyrocket…men have unprotected sex now in unprecedented numbers KNOWING that a chic may get pregnant, but yet they still raw dawg it. So it’s my conclusion that the rates will most definitely go up if men know that no spawn will come from it.
ahh comeback you didnt answer the question…
its yes or no.
do you think you are too good for me.
We see $$ is your reasoning for dating, you listed it quite a few times…. thats a very coommon and stereotypical… but still didnt answer if you think you are out of my league.
Hasani the non answer from her is actually an answer…the nondate from her is another CLEAR indicator. Buy hey i'm just a spectator in all of this.
And for the sake of ending my day on a good note before heading off to the gym to work out some of this celibacy frustration, you're absolutely right about whatever it was you said above that started after Teacia…(sorry i lost interest after that.).
Oh and SBM, I will never refer to you as Delicious…maybe Ronilicious…as in tender roni/tyrone + delicious…lmao…ahhh i crack myself up.
…oh but no you get no credit for the same reasons that you don't act right. you know what's right but since we don't demand it from you as a unified front, you use it as a valid excuse to fuck up…theory works the same here. wearing condoms is what you SHOULD do, but since most women don't demand it, men rawdawg it…taking birth control would be what's right, but if we don't demand it from you, you will drop the ball along the way.
game. set. match…and it's as simple as that. **sorry for the lack of faith Ronilicious baby**
oh shit, she FINALLY said it…i will be back to check out how this unfolded….I LOVE THIS SITE!!
(commentator) will Hasani take the hint or will he continue to put himself out there for rejection?
continue to tune in to see how it all unfolds right here on SBM.net.
*peace* and i'm out!
Comeback, Teacia & Hasani: Stop arguing.
Lets all go and take a run around the block real quick to cool off. This soap opera is getting boring and I'm about to change the channel.
And Hasani, please stop addressing Comeback in this very public forum! I can't let you embarass yourself further.
OK so to list….
black male
6'1 and a half
light brown eyes g
good teeth
GREAT morals
college educated
well spoken
Good looking
Nice athletic body
Dosent smoke
Dosent drink
Dosent use drugs
not a thug
player
Compassionate
good job
oh and no kids……
is not good enough for you? to the point where you belive your in a higher category than ME? oh see thats why your single. god didnt create you any separately than the rest of us. what makes you think you better than me? as pedigreed as you claim to be your not working with much more than the rest of us. The women I date now blow you and your small education for a mundane college out of the water with jobs and salary that match. I guess the women who go to school longer actually have more brains than you run of the mill types. If a man has to have ABOVE my stats to get a first date with you then you are already faced with your current dilemma and what you need to start telling your therapist. now.. walk back to that blog and start recanting that there are no decent black men out there who can commit… and start typing "dear diary.. I think there is a problem with me.. in fact i know there is"
Im not going to forsake you, Ill always be here to reach out to help you, I love you because you are fine as all hell, but ya gotta wake up and not be so unrealistic.
as much as you wanna say HNIC is on a soapbox, I think its rather easy to see who thinks they are above the rest on this blog.
@Hasani: Gotdamnit man … she doesn't want you.
Please, keep what self respect you got left and fall back. You don't need to be running after her.
@Comeback: Thanks for potentially helping the boy to gain closure. Now that you broke him down, we can start the healing process.
SBM im the only one of us who can finish that job around the block. I avoid eating bad and am not going to rely on plavix to save me from heart disease.
of course marrying an angry black woman may kill me anyway… gotta find me a nice happy one.
I cant speak for black men in the hood and I cant speak for black men in the penthouses… but Us suburban brothas who got any sense and are grown men dont want kids with the wrong broads and dont want our dicks to fall off.
just like we cheat less because its easier to sit home and play Xbox… why do you think we want to get MORE random ass because we have a pill that makes us less fertile? if we still have to put up with the same amount of bullshit to get someone into bed then how would the rate that we sleep with women go UP?
what? oh you crazy… I still want my date with comeback
give her a shot of Henne to calm her ass down first, actually make that a double shes angry as hell today
how am I angry. I'm healed. I like what I like. And I have been offically single for 7.5 weeks. I'm just giving Hasani some pointers. I don't think I'm better than anyone. I'm most assured that there are people my age who went to a better college and more degreed.
But I know what I like. One date whatever….its not a beta male who wants to wear an apron on my dime.
The idea of people having sex without condoms in this day and age frightens me. I’ve never had sex without condoms even though I knew my partner’s sexual history and status. The temporary good feeling isn’t worth the lifetime of disease.
Hey Fam, I haven't read any of the other comments I am just responding about the post.
I think the birth control for the men is a good idea for a few reasons…
-protects men from unwanted pregancy ( athletics, celebrities, any man with alot of money)
-doesn't have to put his total trust in a women saying she is on the pill and hoping the condom works
-makes him more responsible for his actions
However on the other hand…
-It may/will cause more men to go raw in a female.
-Increase STD's drastically
-STD could kill babies don't.
-Mainly I think it could decrease pregancy and increase STD
-More emotional stress for women because I think men will get a little crazy and f*ck everything possible.
There are greater risk out there. If men could control would that cause them to cheat more or just sleep with far more women than before? I think it could be a huge downside to a man taking birth control. We as women suffer more if we don't take our pill. We have to carry the baby, sickness, moodiness, and etc. At the end of the day you can't determine if across the male population if it would be best. Hopefully individuals will be responsible for the actions and decisions.
Teacia, gonorrhea can be cured by taking an antibiotic. It’s other STDs that can be scary…causing infertility, blindness and other serious health issues if undetected or not treated in a timely fashion.
SBM did you see me end the fussing by simply agreeing with his idiocricies. *sighing* I just can't win with you I see.
Hasani to your list and errthing else: No comment. You just don't get it.
Comeback: Good luck with this, because he clearly doesn't get that you can't MAKE someone like you if they don't.
Ms. D: Right on point with your statment.
After receiving one too many texts, IMs, and emails about it … SBM must decree something.
*unravels scroll*
There will be no more attempts by Hasani aka HNIC aka Sani Baby to get a date, phone call, email, text, smoke message from "The Comeback Girl" aka Angry woman aka my sister blogger.
If Hasani does not head my words … all of his comments will be moderated.
*rolls scroll back*
SBM has spoken
I'm still trying to figure out when angry meant exacting standards.
I have standards.. we all have standards…
buy none of us think they are better than anyone else which is funny. yo ass had the same single parent upbringing and most of us, middle class just like the rest of us, lived in the house like the rest of us… bleed and sleep like the rest of us..
your education is nothing above average looks are avcerage… everything is average compared to the rest of us, the thought that your better than any of the rest of us is hilarious.
ANgry comes from the amount that you argue.. not standards.
You are SOOO predictable
When you attempt to write long dissertations, you stand front and center as the house statistician. So now that you feel defeated you are apart of the group now??? That is totally classic.
And yes I have standards and a memory. Posting is like your calling card. The problem is that you write SOOOOOOOOOO much you forget what you write. You have not only been degrading to others (including me) but you have also spoke unkindly about yourself.
Trust and believe money comes and goes. But a certain grace, restraint and personal intelligence goes a long way. You can't brag about not being qualified to do your job..when you are tyring to pursue women who are result driven. You can't call me a fat azz (in any context) and me take that as a term of endearment. You can't wow someone who loves science (by posting random numbers without an analysis on causation and citing a source. You can;t use those stats to make you feel better about dating non-black women and past the stuff off as gospel.
So yes if you call the above average…I guess thats what it makes me.
now I'm done with you. I still have work to do and money to make.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!
But its not JUST about the money its about your overall outlook. Why waste your or my time.
Hasani above average or not, whether she believe she's better or not(btw, kudos to you girl)…the bottom line has always been that she's not that into you. She has made that painfully clear just about in every exchange, she doesn't HAVE to give you a reason. All she should have to do is say no…and you should respect that.
At first I thought it was cute and entertaining, but that only lasted a week. I have never in my life witnessed what you've put yourself through for someone whom you never met and inherently feel is just average in relation to your "roster". I can't for the life of me wrap my mind around your choice to constantly set yourself up for failure like this. I just hope you take heed to her final decision and SBM's post because believe it or not I believe the meat of your rhetoric has substance…if we can just get you to cut back on the fat we could actually have a spirited dialogue amongst civilized adults.
*sighing* oooh to be naive.
Hasani…..Seeing how no other brother with the exception of SBM has stood up and said anything to you about this pitafull and embarrassing show of yours that you put on today….I'll be the one to close out the night and do so.
Like I said earlier today, I follow this blog on a daily basis. 1) Because i know the author personally off line & want to support him in what he's doing/trying to do. 2) Because it's a good source to get other black people's opinion about love and relationships, people that happen to be in the same generation pool as me, even if i don't always agree with the views of most here (but I don't blast them for it).
You know, at first i thought it was in fact what Teacia said about you wanting attention…negative, positive, whatever. Just attention. But as I go back over some of your comments I realize that attention isn't what you want. You just want to argue, you purposefully make comments, respond to comments in a way that is going to draw certain people out and get them to respond in a specific type of way. It almost seems like a game to you really, and what happens is when they throw the truth right in your face, you start attacking.
You sling out these arbitrary and random facts/statistics (which by the way mean ZERO unless you have a source for them, which i've rarely if ever seen you produce) about how fcked up the race is, about how terrible black women are, how they don't' take care of their bodies, themselves, their relationships, their male counter-parts…But yet you chase Comeback like a dog in heat…Or should i say an anxious puppy running around in circles pissing on itself in a store shop window. Why do I say this? Because no grown ass man is going to chase any female over the internet like you have that is clearly out of his league (if you have to ask then just go back and read the past 9wks of comments on here with open eyes and you will see what i'm talking about).
I honestly don't care how many successful (black) women you've dated, smashed out, been told what a catch you are (given the fact that this is the internet all that could be complete and utter BS, given my experience with people online i'd bet 45% of it is). Because i know more then a few that meet this criteria and some that work in daycares, NGO's, customer service, retail, and food service that wouldn't give you the time of day because in part of your attitude, and your narrow minded view point on so many different topics. Brother you are sad, i'm saying this not to degrade you, but to put you on notice.
So lets get to the meat and potatoes of my post, shall we?
Why oh why would you emasculate yourself in front of possibly millions of people and beg….BEG this woman to give you a shot at dating her (Really it's a shot at having sex with her — we all know that's what you really want to do, isn't it?
See, i know the game brother) when you have perpetually insulted her (Teacia, and black women in general) and attempted to pretty much tell her that she isn't worth sh!t next to most of the females you know or those that you've dated/throw themselves at you???? Seriously, you seem (key word: SEEM) smarter then that to think that somehow she's that desperate or that you can wear her down enough with your consistent and annoying begging for a date.
Even a pity date at this point would net who gain? You, or her? Because it's clear you have little to offer her that she'd want, correct? I mean honestly, I don't know you outside of the outlandish, offensive, and highly irritating comments you've made and I really don't care for you…Me being a heterosexual, black, single (according to the IRS), male. So I can only imagine how you are perceived in her eyes and of your cohorts on here that have kept quiet, tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, or have tolerated you (clearly that's come to an end given SBM's comment earlier tonight).
So look, take some time. Let this post sink in, don't get all huffy or defensive and start firing back at my comment "You mutherflucker!! You don't know me, you dont know sh!t!!! blah blah". I actually took the 30min to write this, and hour and some change to meditate on what i was going to type prior to just because I care. Honestly, if i didn't i wouldn't have said anything. I understand where you are in your life right now, not that i'm older, "better", or even further ahead then you are. But I see a young black man literally self destructing in this blog today (regardless if it's over the internet or not) and even if you don't have enough common sense to realize the impact in what you are saying or have said/insults dispatched/people you've possibly offended I'm going to put you on notice as one SBM to another that you indeed have and you need to check yourself before you continue to post on this blog.
Have some pride Hasani, please.
Signed,
B.Price.
p.s.
You know as good as Assigns Creed was, after 3/4's of the way into the game it gets too repetitive to really enjoy anymore, and ever so predictable. Nice concept, originality, and flawless delivery but it lacked substance and fell short of being a game i'd own…rent yes, spend $60 on for a few hours of game play? No sir.
@B.Price: AMEN!!! *standing up clapping*
I respect the fact that you took the time to address what I think is a charade that Hasani has going. It really made me smile to read your post. There are still some sensible black men willing to help a fellow black man out who is showing himself to be foolish.
@ B.Price…. Very well thought out. I have been trying to figure out what to say to this BOY so that for once he can just shut up. He is an embarrassment to all the Black men out there and to be honest I feel sorry for him. Thak u for taking the time out to do this
@ Hasani….. For once in your useless, angry, bitter life; SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! GROW THE FUCK UP!!! BE A MAN. Enough of this, its not even cute. Never was. How do you hold a regular job, how do you go through life? You are miserable and DAMAGED GOODS. Once a girl is over your "good looks" what more do you have to offer as a man. If the women u're dating (if they are real) really wanted to get to know the real you, just opening your mouth will turn them off. You're like a leech that just suck all the blood out of a person leaving them drained physically and emotionally. Hell! I don't even know you, but u're exasperating. You really need to see someone professionally for your problems, and trust me the offer still stand from my psychiatrist dad (its free). Day by day u never seize to embarrass yourself. Remember… Mrs Ex left u, Miss may left u, miss ER and that paki lawyer will leave you. You are in for a long and lonely life if u don't change. Just get ready. NO WIFE, NO KIDS, NOTHING. You were probably a great person at some point in your life but only God knows what went wrong and only God can help you. Take the advise from the other men on the blog. Give it a rest and heal thyself. Make those changes and you will be ok
@ SBM….Great post
:
OH B.price. I try and help my black woman, even if they dont want to help themselves in most cases.
I have pride, and at times seem to be one of the only who have so, but if I have no ego.
I think its you that is wanting attention. a 5 paragraph for what could have been put in an email is hardly what I would call discrete eh? But seriously… RANDOM facts? You sound like the inflicted now.
Hey look the topic is about how many people are unmarried….
"Angry black woman says" we are all unmarried because the black man dosent want to commit
see before I showed up you were laying down like a dog and taking what the media and women tell you, no where else on this blog did I ever see a brotha say "your wrong, we do and infact more so than you"
I posted that black men get married more than women. 1 or 2 people said I was "wrong" so I posted the stat from US census.
Now we are talking about male birth control.
the "angry black woman" types say: OMFG its the end of the world black men are crawling with diseases and they will actually spread MORE diseases and use condoms less.. this is horrible
now I come on and show statistics from the CDC and then also show the census data on the single parent child birth rate.
negro… if you think when talkin about diseases that data from the center for disease control is "RANDOM DATA" then I think you need to take a trip to wikipedia and figure out what random data is.
to a black man.. and I mean an educated black man, no information, as long as its accurate, is ever bad. dont act like the stereotype they put you in.
but yeah, Im not high and mighty, and I rebuke the stereotype that all black men with a job and an education only are willing to date white women. I will put my hand out to even go out on a date with an angry black woman… and have even put my hand out there to date a black woman, with two kids by two seperate fathers, no degree, not ballin…. and dont take out chicks just to smash either. Im not the stereotype and dont think my time is "too good" for anyone else.
Im commin down to DC and you can tell me all about your "theories" in person… aight?….SBM is pickin up the bar tab anyway.
——
as for assassins creed. my FULL quote was
this game "GRAPHICALLY" is the next generation …. not that this game is the next best thing. advertisement for some reason are allowed to use quotes and still take media out of context, but we arent allowed to do the same?
AC was made for its target audience… the young heads who value easy and powerful over substance and stability. Throw in some flashy shit and you have them all mesmerized. Ill bet you 20/1 they will follow it up with a similar game only with a scantly clad female assassin with big boobs.
a press one button to do major combos and kill scores and scores of people, isnt really my idea of solid gameplay. I was impressed with certain "scenes" but too many cute cutscenes and not enough actual game substance is what made me and most people shelve this game early… and dust it will collect because it has absolutely NO replay value what so ever.
FTR, ill say the same thing about GTA. nice story, great little cutscenes… but in the end you took out the "urban" feel that made vice city a fan favorite.
I already have my vote in for CoD4 as game of the year and the 10 million copies that the fans bought would justify my claim…. and no I dont think halo3 is going to keep up.
H3 is JV, COD4 is varsity come get yo letter my brothas.
July 1st… all the new doctors start at your local hospital today!
I thank and applaud B too.
And I think he was being rather tactful in his approach, why email ? Do you do anyone the courtesy when your're about to take it to front street. I appreciate a man showing a boy the door. And you never attempted to reveal ANY source until I recommended that you you use CDC and Census data, until then you were pulling numbers out of the air. And still today you use them OUT OF ITS SOCIAL CONTEXT. You can't show the real WHY's and HOW's. People don't get PHds in this stuff to just blame black women.
And when people where pushing you down my throat, I was peeping EVERYTHING. The inconsistancies. Not "having a sex drive" (per my blog) but speaking the most crudely about it everywhere else. Loving black women in one breath and crucifying them in the next, its not my idea of a great first date.
But I'm going to give you the benifit of the doubt. The end of your post where you reserve 1/4 of it to talk incessantly about a video game (that you didn't design or code) really exposes how out of touch and socially inept you are.
Hasani I just thought about something…I have never once heard you say "you're right". Now I could be wrong, but I have never seen those words written by you. You like conflict for the sake of conflict, you seem to think that it makes your insightful, when really all of your "data", misplaced at that, only makes you look…well, you know. Which is why yesterday evening I also came to the conclusion that you can't be as dumb as you seem, you're putting on a show, this is all a game to you. But what really blows me is that you're NO match for the wit and words of Comeback and myself, yet you seem to keep at it, only to be torn apart…now that's not a man who thinks logically is it.
I'm not here to bash you today, B. Price and Mystery…oh I mean Cruela(doesn't she sound a lot like Mystery) have said enough, and they gave it to you from 2 approaches. The black man comes to you with honesty, and he's not discrete because you're not discrete, and yet you still don't want to just listen and say "you're right." You didn't send me an email when you called me…oh I mean people who it pertained to, a fool for having a kid unweded, while even you are the product of unweded parents. Or when SBM had to pull your deragatory comment attacking my child…did I get the courtesy of an email. You didn't send Comeback an email to outline how angry you think she is, or all of the failed attempts at courting her while exploiting yourself for attention…so why should that courtesy be extended to you. You sit on here day after day and you post these statistics, and you bring down the morale of the site while citing that black women are this, black women are that, a site now comprised of mainly black women…when in reality you don't seem to know a thing about us. You call us angry because we don't want your help, Hasani WE DON'T NEED YOUR HELP. It's amazing how no other man on here seems to think that we're all angry except you…now granted Comeback has her angry moments, but she admits that she's on the road to being healed.
B. Price doesn't want attention, he cares about the integrity of the site and so it seems your integrity as well. He comes here daily and probably doesn't comment because he knows that you will come at him the way did at Anti in a nonconstructive way, and honestly will be met with garbage disguised as a valued statement…and the funny part is that you don't even match them intellectually, but you always seem to THINK that you can discredit others because you're armed with statistics.
This is your cyber-vention Sani baby…like I said, underneath all that angry rhetoric there is substance to what you're saying, but no one is seeing it because you force us to wear our "he's crazy goggles."
…well that's all from me for now.
In all fairness, people who are passionate about their work speak incessantly about it…so I don't think that was the problem. But you did go on and on to an audience who care less. Your first sentence answered B. Price's statement…but you just had to show us all how intelligenct you actually are about something…again only making yourself looking…well, you know.
Substance over Quanity…related substance at that…I would love to see you do that.
its a blog not an essay…. Im not intelligent and I always say as much. no PHD, MD, BA here… im "nothing special" as you pointed out.
so me and my average intelligence and "nothign special" special pedigree will write the same way in text.
Miss ER is a great doctor, according to the awards banquet I just had to go to… and she NEVER talks about the hospital… EVER. so no, people who are passionate about their work dont speak incessantly about it.
on a side note… the whole "needs attention" thing would play out nice and make a nice dig at anyone else….. cept for a journalist……my comments and thoughts are on the back of a box of a game that sold over 4 million copies. Id get my own blog and talk about like jucy topics like abortion and hair weaves if I wanted attention and self gratification…. Im a commenter and a fact finder… not a front runner….
Its a blog, how about you add something other than yo mouth and slashin up other black people and stop waiting for someone else to post information for you? stop being the stereotype of the lazy black person, the bitter single mother , spinster and "dumb chick with a sexy body" because I know your more than that…. or at least could be
lol…well you've just shown and proven that you can't be reached. i even attempted to be on your side a little, but comprehending is just not your strong suit.
I sure am seeing remnants of what B was talking about last night. You get your feelings hurt and you come out in full attack mode. Hasani you remember how in statistics we learned how to determine predictability (you do remember right???) Since you are a journalist today (and not a unix guy) I'll just go with the fact that your concentration really focused on writing and statistical measurement.
If your dating life is fruitful, why do you have to keep reminding us just how frutiful it is. I should be able to tell. It should really embody everything you write about other women and yourself. So its safe to say I'm not convinced.
So I'd like to challenge Teacia to take the highroad and ignore his comments.
Maybe SBM could come up with an algorithm to predict Hasani's attacks…and then trigger the result to moderate his comments.
Fellas…. OH MY!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQMBIRipp5A
D3 could be hitting the market and current talks are to have it available for 360 as well.
http://pc.ign.com/objects/714/714955.html#aboutTh…
shame Blizzard isnt speaking to me anymore. thats 2 major upcomming hits upcomming for 09 and the top earning gaming project ever , currently on the market.
Id buy stock right now if i was yall.
Funny you should say that, that is exactly what I plan to do. I was going to challenge everyone actually to do the same. It really is sad though, since underneath all the anger and disappointment he does have a valid message.
*shaking my head*
Tiffy darling, why would I attack?
Im about as consistant as they come, easy to talk to and very easy to reach. The type I cant figure out is yours. some days happy some days sad, some days your pro black.. others you pro yourself. first love is important…. then its money and success…
I dont think you can find a time where I was inconsistent, its always the same msg and same attitude. Im still trying to figure you out, actually your type… just like im trying to constantly help and figure out the chick upstairs. two of the larger stereotypes in the black community of this generation.
You seem oftly concerned with my job, and sex drive of late… please… no need to groom me for your potential mate.. im here to help not to move in and fill someone elses shoes. If you want unix… hire me and send me a W2, if you want news subscribe to our magazine or join my site. I wish you were as obsessed with helping your community or understanding yourself as you are about my life…. trust me Im nobody special just another one of gods creations.
Teacia: what no love from you today? dont worry ill shout you out, I just cant hear you with all the racket comeback is making by clicking the refresh button…..
"he does have a valid message."
which is????
if the msg wasnt valid or true nobody would listen to anything I write… in charachter… for my website…. for print….
truth put bluntly and very crass makes people stand up and take notice.
I dont have to coddle the strongest race in the world, and I dont have to sugar coat the most dominant minded and strongest willed female race on the planet.
Facts are facts.
Do we train US marines by asking them politely to go sail over to Iraq and kill people? or do we train them like the devil dogs they are, give them intelligence to read, and then give them orders to kill?
"Im about as consistant as they come"
on medication. I ask the questions because you talked about you being my type. Those questions typify what my type is. But since we are past all that the probing questions about your ambition or lack thereof can cease.
I'm still interested in Teacia's response ONLY to my question.
Comeback I agree with Hasani's message that we don't put as much emphasis on family these days as we do on our careers. I have a friend or two in medial school or another who manages a Top 20 account for the #1 food company in the world, yet they have no time for a man. I don't completely agree with this thinking…Hasani is a bit extreme with his deliverance though.
He cites statistics out of context, he skews information, and most importantly he is ALWAYS putting us down. There is a way to deliver a message of substance while lifting the targets up at the same time. He has never said anything nice about anyone of us, aside from his pandering for your attention(again, my bad for the encouragement initially).
I do agree that money shouldn't be a driving force in how we choose a mate, I do however think compatibility is extremely important. If you like horseback riding, then you should be allowed to choose a mate with similar interests, but money and education shouldn't be the end all be all…happiness should be the driving factor…BUT if money makes you happy then hey do what you do.
I aslo think that as black women we're going to have to start taking responsibility for the shortcomings of our men. It goes back to the chicken and egg analogy, what came first: disrespectful men or tolerate women…either way, it's not going to change unless we scratch the blame game that Hasani and others love to play, call it a wash and then all of us get off our asses and change them TOGETHER.
Again, if Hasani wasn't always looking for a way to put down everyone on the blog by stereotyping them based on assumptions, his message would go father. If you have a message for a someone, you don't tell them how much of a fuck up they are and then expect them to listen to you past that sentence. You don't praise them and finish it off with a BUT. The only thing "but" has ever done was to eliminate the statement that proceeded it.
But I think he's relevant, a bit angry, or socially inept…but he definitely has some valid points.
I agree. But I like objectivity as much as possible. But here's the thing often what we ride as our platform are things that have affected us adversely the most, so without real perspective (taking hard looks at the positive and the negative) then who is he really reaching.
I had NO idea that Hasani came from a broken home until you mentioned it yesterday. The way he preaches love and nappyness (is Al Green working on a remake) one would think he came from cosby picture perfect envoirnment.
I am all for a thriving and together black family. But it starts first with a man and woman…husband and wife relationship. When a man can't reach a woman and is reduced to calling her degrading names, what does that say about a family structure. Is that how his father addressed his mother?
And true money isn't everything. But you can't eat love. And I refuse to build a financial partnership with a man who can't even get a good handle on his own career. Who takes short cuts in his delivery of information/stats and causation.
Thats like a heroin addict (pre-rehab) telling someone to get a grip on his/her addictions. Like going to the hardware store for milk. Asking a medical doctor for tax advice. There's too much inner work (as cruella) mentioned that he needs to do before he starts doing social theory/backseat driving/healing of all the nations.
"(taking hard looks at the positive and the negative IN OURSELVES)"
Like I said, he failed miserably with his approach. I had no idea he came from one either until he mentioned it first…lol. It could be the source, and then there could be other issues…I'm not going to speculate on the man's upbringing though.
"I am all for a thriving and together black family. But it starts first with a man and woman…husband and wife relationship. When a man can’t reach a woman and is reduced to calling her degrading names.."
I again agree with this statement. I honestly believe that if he had been more respectful of us as individuals and black women the dialogue would have been completely different on the site.
"And true money isn’t everything. But you can’t eat love. And I refuse to build a financial partnership with a man who can’t even get a good handle on his own career. Who takes short cuts in his delivery of information/stats and causation."
Lol…and you deserve to feel comfortable in a relationship with a man who is secure in himself…see his message was there but the messenger was flawed.
We all have work to do, everyday is a work in progress for me. I use this blog as incite into a man's mind…well this one and a few others. I honestly just wish we could all get along.
I'm all late to this trainwreck (and thank Goddess for that) but I just want to know why he keeps calling everybody ELSE Tiffany or Tiffy. WTF? He don't know ya'll names or something.
LOL…Comeback's real name is Tiffany…he's talking to her.
and it sho would be nice to get a new post. I agree with you Teacia about every body being a work and progress.
But for me…lessons are better learned when people are teaching by example. Like a former poster who is getting out of debt. I am following her because SHE IS ACTUALLY BEING SUCCESSFUL with the practices.
LOL…shout out to Mikki!!
Well, I'll be damned. Didn't know that and I've read Comeback's blog on several occasions. Guess me wasn't paying attention. Well start calling me TIH, that's what everyone says anyway.
Yes Tiffany…Tiffany is my name…I kind of prefer Comeback on here…but I guess our friend took special liberties.
WTF? Im not teaching by example?????????????????????
I say the most important think in my life is my life and not my work… you go on a twelve page rant about how "unsuccessful" and "unambitious" I am. its amazin how much money fules the perception of your "type". since I am doing rather well as far as corporate "progress" I just make poverty line-ish money…. not very many brothas in my position at all in my company… even fewer black journalists to give us our own voice….. but because the income isnt enough to get tiffany her tiffany braclet im "unsuccessful" and marked as a typical lazy nigga…. its amazing.
I could care less about how much extra I make, my goal in life is to die and have the largest wake on record! you get that by being a decent man and being there for others…. and havin lots of love in your life.
YES our grandparents did it right. Grandpa married grandma for he loved her so much he thought his heart would burst. he went to work to make her cumfortable…. not to get himself a new pair of gucchi sunglasses.
Measuring your self worth by your paycheck and your pedigree is the mark of a true shallow individual. we are just so on the wrong track now with all the excess arguments and hate.
Im good to my friends and good to the people in my community and am nice in excess to anyone who needs it…….. no matter how much they dont deserve it and no matter how much others think they are beyond help (dramatic pause)
I still continue to do so.
I cant lead by example because most of you think my examples are bad. this is the same board that called me a sucker and a geek when I said I still take the boyscouts camping if I recall correctly
Tiffany, ill start calling you comeback if you kids stop using my real name as well. kinda wouldnt wanna have any of my readers see me writing here and draw a correlation…. hence the moniker change that none of you respect and digging up my personal page (which was beyond ghetto of ya'll)
how the hell did we get off birth control?
Id like to see someone try to draw a correlation using existing facts to show why they think
a) pregnancy rates would raise
and
b) STD rates would raise
because of this.
I spoke to the security guard here today. the guy "IS" joe thug to a T and has to be the most grimy stereotype of bad black male you can find. Anyway, I asked him would he go raw more if he got a vasectomy's or had a magic pill that made him infertile. he said no because STD's are on his mind as much as seeding a chick up. "I can still smash if I got a kid, but I cant get no more pussy if my thang is swole up" was young bucks reply.
So in my eyes, if horney no morals havin young bucks say they would not strap up any less…. and older brothas like myself know we would.. how is this a bad thing? us black men really arent the root of all evil ya know….
You win "H". Sorry but I have a really hard time calling you by your new moniker. Since well…anyway…
NEW POST
please.
Here is the link to my masters blog.
please stop in and show love for a fellow black man.
dailytmi.blogspot.com/
I feel like I am missing the point at times but it is very real to see another brotha who has the same take on things and raised with similar morals as myself.
posting to update my new link… see thats brotherhood. I put someone elses blog in my sig as opposed to my own work!
Thegirl. I wonder who is further off their moniker. HNIC for me or saying your making a comeback to love and relationships and using the name comebackgirl?
the topic for the blog tonight is dating and keywords used in dating.
Good site, great job! ^^
I say thank goodness for male birth control. It finally lets men have some accountability for their sexual behaviors.
If a woman doesn't want to have a child, the burden is on her to make sure she doesn't get pregnant. She can choose to abstain or she can get on the pill, patch, injection, IUD, etc. But when a guy doesn't want a child, he doesn't have any internal ways to ensure that. I think this will go a long way toward empowering men; if they don't want a child, they can make sure that the safeguarding isn't left in the hands of the other person, who would be an unscrupulous jumpoff. And just imagine how many fewer children will grow up in broken households because their parents conceived during a one-night stand.