Every once in awhile you stumble across something and find yourself saying “Damn … were we separated at birth!”. That’s how I felt when I came across the blog of Mr. Swagger. While the comments section has shown me that there are other fellow simp slayers out there … it’s always refreshing when someone takes the time to really point it out as a problem and discuss it at length.
As with Mr. Swagger, while the song is catchy … I hate the premise of it. This senseless tricking is running brothers ragged and moving money out of savings accounts and stocks into diamonds and beemers. Sure, you can do it for the wife … but stupid songs like this become personal anthems for women who walk around listening to this sh*t all day and start making asinine demands.
STOP SIMPING!!!
BTW … you got to listen to the song at the end!
————————————————————————-
Stacks on Deck, Patron on Ice, We can pop bottles all night, Baby you can have whatever you like…..
Is it me or are rappers all of a sudden glorifying tricking/simping?? Currently the most overused lyric in rap is “It ain’t tricking if you got it!” Wayne says it “Got Money”. Luda says it in his new song “I know what dem girls like”. Nelly even said it back in the day in “drop down and get your eagle” or whatever the hell that song was called. There are countless other examples. My whole point is it’s STILL tricking if you got it. The only exception to the rule is if you’re caking like Luda (14 mil), Wayne (13 mil), or Tip (13 mil) (According to Forbes) If you are then by all means trick away. But you’re probably not since millionaires don’t have time to be checking blogs lol. So the following applies to you…….Stop going to the club making it rain, popping bottles, and buying random hoes drinks trying to impress them and then you get mad when you can’t pay your car note. If she ain’t wifey you should be trying come out of pocket as little as possible. That’s why currently one of my favorite songs is Neyo’s “Miss Independent”. That’s the type of women we should all aspire to acquire. And don’t be fooled either they’ll be plenty of chicks at the club saying this is my jam and going all crazy when the song comes on and afterwards have the nerve to be like I’m thirsty. Ya independent ass needs to buy yourself a drink then lol.
PS This is the song TI should have made lol…..
Being a Mr Swagger representative, of course Im co-signing this.
I've been in the company of way too many females that plot and plan their night around how many drinks they can get from guys. These same women even have the nerve to leave the house without a dollar in their possession;certain that some young (or old) simp will come out of pocket for them in exchange for some face time. Being the man that I am, I persuade these chicks to use their feminine wiles to get me drinks too….no reason for me to spend if some chump is buying the bar for any woman who will flash him a smile. Just call me the Clean Up Hitter. Maybe he'll learn a lesson
Check out the "Miss Independent Remix" with Jamie Foxx. Completely new version of the song, just as good.
I'm a big fan of this site. Keep up the great work
- http://www.mrswagger.com
Wow…first off love that little parody. It's cute…real cute and sometimes it's like that. Now while I am female I am not down for this whole tricking and simping thing. This is bordering on being inexcusable. Why on earth would a grown woman leave her house with absolutely $0 in her pocket? I don't know any that would, but if they do I should beat them because the world's too dangerous for that. Secondly, I don't believe them because there are nights where I'll say I don't have any money and that means I have $100 and I'm not going to spend it on drinks.
BTW-I will also say that sometimes neither one of you has the money to do big stuff. May as well just sit it out but hey if you're there when the money's gone then when comes then you're cool but money don't buy happiness it just buys shit to occupy you.
@SBM-There's alot of Miss Independents on the site. Strong black women who are holding it down at work, at home and in the streets.
so tired of the term: simping
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
oh my God the first song is funny as hell, I gotta call somebody and tell them "we aint doin' shyt tonite"!!!! Funny.
"But you’re probably not since millionaires don’t have time to be checking blogs "
two words: Perez Hilton. He changing the game son.
"@SBM-There’s alot of Miss Independents on the site"
@ Jaclynn I totally agree. But we all know that Miss Independent is a double edge sword, what they love about it they also hate too.
@Comeback-Ok I'm glad you said it…because I wanted to say it to someone so bad, but…I didn't want them to think I was crazy.
DUUUUUUUVAAAAAAAL!!!
Ok, now that I've gotten the Jacksonville aka Duval County role call out of the way, let me go ahead and put it out there, Lil' Duval aka Roland Powell aka my cousin(but not really)…yeah that negro is one of the BIGGEST tricks out there!! He's a funny comedian and all, but a trick no less.
Secondly, millionaires aka rappers aka athletes aka negroes who have money have nothing BUT time on their hands…so yes their reading and sometimes even responding to blogs and even their own myspace pages…you'd be surprised…lol. I remembered when I first began to run in that circle how surprised I was at how much they actually loved social networking, the were flying different chics to Tampa that they met on Myspace like every other week…lol, craziness.
Now about the topic at hand, *sigh*….I LOVE THIS SONG(the original version that is)!! It could have something to do with me living in Florida and random negroes buying me and my girls bottles everywhere we go, or random dudes offering to pick up the check at a restaurant just b/c their interested in ONE of the girls at the table(usually me…lol), or it could be because it's a lifestyle I've grown accustomed to…either way, if you got it I don't see the problem.
Please don't be spending your check trying to impress chics and then later figure out how you gonna pay yo momma the rent you owe her…lol. But men down here in Florida are tricks, ALL of them(Anti if you were here that would go for you too)…everywhere you go there's a man ready and willing to "cake" you. Man I love living in Florida….now if only I would stick to dating Florida men. *sigh*
"simping" has always been glorified by rap music. My whole being came about from worship of puffy and ma$e and LL Cool J in the late 90's.
thats why I laugh out loud when women claim "zomg rap degrades women" I heard the word hoe in a rap video… they MUST have been talkin about ALL women…… right? no, just the dumb ones. yet when ma$e and puffy are tellin women they gonna take you on a private jet and on shoppin sprees and give them carats til they feel they are rabbits…… nobody seems to notice. (reminds me of the obama Palin lipstick controversy)
And honestly gentlemen ya just gotta keep it basic with women in this day and age. I use to go on dates and spend more than I made in a weekend just bein sociable. Now? Well I currently make a rather large sum of money but dont spend any on the majority of women I am seeing. And I noticed women respect me a hell of alot more NOW that I keep things basic. Also lets you know where you stand with a gal and if she is really ride or die. it keeps her ass in line from the door too if she knows you she has limits.
Notorious BIG said it best before his death.
"you must be use to me spending…. and all that sweet wining and dining …… but Im fukin you tonight"
Oh and all men have it in them to be "tricks"…they just need the right motivation to come along.
@Teacia-You know you're absolutely right. They do have the total the ability to be tricks. They have to be trained I guess….you know maybe you should hold a class to teach women how to make men into tricks…yes I think that's right…my no sleeping ass…argh..so much to do, so little time.
Good Morning Everyone,
First and foremost It is tricking if you got it. This term Lil Wayne came up with makes no sense.
So if a average dude is paying for sex, drinks, female attention, or because she has a body or is attractive it is tricking. But if a man has the money and can afford to pay for sex, drinks, female attention, or because she has a body or is attractive it's not tricking? What is the difference? They are paying for the same thing. If you are paying for a*s you are paying for a*s. That term was created for n**gas that trick and want to justify it.
@Humble-So would it fair to say that if an average guy does it he's doing it to even himself because he's not said wrapper or rich trick. I think it's more tricking if you have the money than if you don't?
@FlyGuy
"I’ve been in the company of way too many females that plot and plan their night around how many drinks they can get from guys. These same women even have the nerve to leave the house without a dollar in their possession;certain that some young (or old) simp will come out of pocket for them in exchange for some face time. Being the man that I am, I persuade these chicks to use their feminine wiles to get me drinks too….no reason for me to spend if some chump is buying the bar for any woman who will flash him a smile."
I have got drunk off of tricks a few times myself. Some of my homegirls don't drink so I would tell them what I wanted and 10-15minutes later I would have it. There is no excuse for a woman to be in the club without money. You got in free before 11:00 or 12:00 and you bought your clothes at rainbow or on sale at
new york co., tj maxx, marshalls, etc. so you should have enough money to borrow your own drinks.
@Teacia
"Oh and all men have it in them to be “tricks”…they just need the right motivation to come along."
Bulls**t. Where do you get this from?
Cute song….. that's probably what I'ma be doing this weekend actually. Salisbury steak anyone??
Ok, so I do have to admit….. I have gone out when money was tight with the intention of not buying myself any drinks. HOWEVER, it's because I was willing to take that chance that I may just be stone sober all night (which isn't necessarily a bad thing…… sometimes) and it was not a quest to see how many free drinks I could get. I just wanted to get out and enjoy some good music (Nap Town has some PHENOMENAL hip-hop DJs, and not in the "usual" places, so if you're ever in town and need a recommendation as to where to go, hit ME up, don't as the random brotha or sista on the street), and I also know that usually at least 1 person buys me a drink, whether that's a friend or someone who engages me in conversation at the bar. The places I go people are a little more laid back and will buy you a drink just for convo and nothing else (often white guys).
But otherwise, I am of the attitude that if I want something, I better rely on my damn self to get it. Nothing in life is free, and I'm just not willing to pay the price. I'm just not a good enough actress for all that.
@Jaclynn
"So would it fair to say that if an average guy does it he’s doing it to even himself because he’s not said wrapper or rich trick. I think it’s more tricking if you have the money than if you don’t?"
No, they are both trying to achieve the same goal so there is no difference b/w them.
Seconding Teacia. What is it about those Florida men???
Me and my girls went to Club Opium in Miami and these group of guys invited us over to their tables where they were doing a little bottle poppin. I didn't induldge (I was paraniod, def. NOT used to it with these cheap a** men in Louisville) but one of my girls got to' up… We had to carry her out the club. This is the only city I can go to and will not have to come out of my pocket in the club!!!!!
To me, a trick is a man who is REPEATEDLY peeling off money (in all forms) to some UNAPPRECIATIVE woman in the hopes to get her number or win her over….
When a man spends a little money on me, I appreciate it and only assume he's feeling good, I don't consider it tricking.
Maybe im gettin old but Im not understanding the male outrage. If you're going to certain clubs is your expectation that you kick it with the dali lama? No, you looking for some phat azzes. This all comes with a price. The whole club industry is made on DREAMS and whodini tricks.
I was reading about a famous club owner in DC who was quoted as saying just in the last 3 or 4 years that his goal (parahrased) is to get some 21 year old to spend their last 50 dollars at his establishment. In order for this to happen some circus tricks must go down, smoke and mirrors. The club experience really is about the escape. Its about being whatever it is you want to be for 3-4 hours. Then you take your broke azz home and figure out how you gonna do it next week. And of course our music helps to sustain the mirage. (Hell that was the name of a very popular club I frequrented back in the day…and I just recently started to figure out, that there is SOOO much in a name)
or—–
you regulate your money like you know what time it is which requires you to paint all women with a broad brush. Even when you and her girls just want to have a good time.
or—-
you go to establishments where smoke and mirrors aren't the order of the day (ie, with like minded folks, who got jobs, dreams ain't tryna tyrna play trickin in the club.
@Humble-Alright I can understand and respect that.
@Teacia, Nicki and Ane-Good Morning Ladies.
@Nicki-Hmmm…NoLa's like that too. Men down here will spend money freely and often should you get to know one bouncer or have a friend who knows one or promote…you will never be thirsty in a club anywhere in this city.
@Comeback
"If you’re going to certain clubs is your expectation that you kick it with the dali lama? No, you looking for some phat azzes."
If I go to a club I am going to drink and talk s**t with my team. I am not going for a*s. If I get some a*s out of the club thats cool but that is not why I go.
@Comeback: No one is saying you don't have to spend money at the club, but why is tricking off dollars for women part of that cost? I pay a cover and I pay for my drinks (and maybe of those for friends with me), but they hell am I budgeting in costs for random chicks.
And the type of independent women your talking about is no the kind I like. It's fake independence. Like "I can do for myself … but f*ck if I actually am … now by my drink n***a!"
@SBM-I think you're right SBM…I haven't ever paid a club cover to date and thanks to a good friend I haven't been really having to buy drinks either. Beyond that if you're out with your boys to have a good time then are you gonna really sit there and so all these ….
PAst that I don't know right now.. because I cant think.
Ok guys I am breaking a rule of some sorts but I need some ideas. Tonight will be my last night at my friends house (the one who let me stay at his place due to nightmare roommates). I wanted to do something nice for him for letting me and my cat stay with him since sunday, he has been very nice and respectful and I want to do something to let him know I appreciate it.
I dunno what I should do I was thinking give him money but that seems kinda trivial anybody got any ideas?
This is the thing. Men who pop bottles in the club and are willing to buy a "random chick" a drink arent tricking. They are doing what they wanna cause they wanna. If they reap the benefits of a trick or two coming home with them because of the 9.00 drink or the TABLe they purchased then OH well.. She sold herself short for a table and a couple of drinks WHO CARES? Maybe she wanted to get hers just as much as he wanted to get his. The problem I see is that the men on here are HATERS! Hi HATER.. Dont hate on the man who will buy the table, pop the bottles and buy a woman a drink. They dont have the game fugged up like the rest of you men they know that some women will flock to it and some wont. They know that the chances of this woman coming home with them are sometimes small. I wouldnt call them TRICKING or SIMPING … its knowing what it takes to get WHAT THEY WANT. So if you wanna be tight with your wallet and stand in the club sippin on the drink you bought with limited female potential coming your way then OK. Somedays the men who pop bottles get my attention and sometimes I just find myself ROLLING MY EYES .. its a craps shoot.
But in reality everyone has tricked/or simped themselves at one time or another to get the attention of the opposite sex. We just all use different ways.
Women: we may be feeling you and buy you little gifts, or go to VS and buy some sexy nighties that could be used to pay down a bill. Hell, we may even buy your a*ss dinner so we can seem like we arent after your cash even thought that was supposed to go to our association fees. DO you men realize how much a freakum dress can cost.. with the matching shoes.. mani/pedi, wax, and a clutch?!
ughhh.. i could go on and on but y'all get my drift..
@Mikki: Hmmm…. Is it the build something guy???? How about buying something nice for his place? Is he into paintings and such?
@mikki: does he have any groceries? maybe that.. or cook him a nice meal. that would be sweet. Or you could clean up the house. that is a nice gesture.
@Jolie: Amen sista.
Yep Nicki its him, I was thinking of buying something but I am not really 100% sure what he is into. I was thinking, he did ask me to make lasagna a couple days ago he was going to help me since I didn't exactly know how to do it but since it was football day he opted out of that and we just had taco salads. I am thinkin this is deserving of me scratching it up in the kitchen but I don't want to mess up the lasagna he might not wanna see me again after that lol. I can cook but I have never made this particular dish before, do yall think i should brave it and maybe if it turns out bad he will just be happy with the gesture? or stick with somethin I know?
maybe the guys know……
"@Comeback: No one is saying you don’t have to spend money at the club, but why is tricking off dollars for women part of that cost?"
@ SBM because when I used to go to the circus as a kid I expected to see some 5 legged horses and a fat double jointed lady named Roberta who can put her legs behind her neck (wait was that the circus).
Its all apart of WHAT YOU SIGN UP FOR when you go to certain clubs. I further agree with Jolie. I have some **tasteful** slu$t dresses that I occassionally wear but I'm not going to church in them. And I certainly don't expect for a man to holla at my intellect once I put it on.
Its apart of the game. You just gotta know that first it is one and secondly it MUST be put into perspective. I probably am not going to meet my husband tomorrow night sippin on a cosmo. But I'll SURELY have fun.
@ Humble : I don't believe you and yes, please get some more people. You could kick it "wit your boys" at Applebees. You are NOT going to some establishments just to kick it. lets be real.
@Mikki: I have the EASIEST lasagna recipe and I found it off the internet. Let me find it to you and I'll email it. I think I emailed you once before from your blog.
ooh thank you Nicki !! sometimes my work email blocks stuff but try it anyways
clarkk1@michigan.gov
and
kimikeclark@msn.com
@ Mikki cooking would be nice. Maybe you could also leave his fridge stocked to as someone else suggested. And lasagna aint hard, you boilin some lasagna noodles and layering with tomato sauce and ricotta. Martha has tons of ways.
http://www.marthastewart.com/portal/site/mslo/men…
don;t forget the italian bread. You should get it from an actual bakery. Thats a nice fresh touch.
Can we please get rid of the word SIMP…it's played and overrated. It's like you guys have managed to put a negative spin on men who cater to women…which is what you're freaking supposed to do!!!
Tricking aka providing…now when did this become a bad thing?
Here's the secret that men down here know that you guys up north don't….we're the commodity….woman run the show…sorry guys, I didn't want to have to break it to you, but most of the women in the South(and even the west coast) are well aware of this. We aren't out here chasing men with a great resume in hopes that we can settle down and procreate, we are sitting back and letting these negroes come to us…because we know we're what they want…and without us they only have themselves. Not to mention, we cater to them as well, there's no power struggle…pleeeease take charge and be in control, we beg of you.
We don't get off on telling me that we got it, or that we can do it without them….hell we welcome the "blessings" they bestow upon us. I for one don't like to have to say a damn thing, I will never ask any man for a dime, NEVER…but it has been my experience that with REAL men I don't have to. If you're spending time with me(sexually and otherwise) it's your DUTY to make sure that I have everything I need. You're supposed to ask….what you say, yes ask if everything is ok. That's a part of providing.
Now my special someone is going to be all upset with my comments all…so let me put it out there, he doesn't "trick", nor is he "simp"…but it's still early…lol…j/k(kinda sorta but not really).
@Humble: ALL MEN, husbands included are paying for sex and female attention…ALL OF YOU!!! You can make it deeper and say yeah but she loves me and I love her, she will do anything for me yada yada yada…but the minute you pay that car note sweetie, you've officially become in your terms a "trick"…you take care of her because you want to KEEP her around, you want to KEEP that love…and you're going to do everything in your power to do so.
this feels like dejavu from last Thursday…funny though, this song was stuck in my head all morning. i don't have much to comment, i've never really been comfortable with men spending money on me for the most part. i just hate to lead people on or hate to feel like they expect something from me. sure, i'll take dinner or a drink if you're offering but best believe i came with enough to buy mine and yours. when it comes to larger items like plane tickets and such, i'm uncomfortable with it unless we're seriously dating. but hey, if TI wants to cake the hell out of Tiny, I say do it…shyt she takes care of his four (or five) kids and i'm sure puts up with quite a bit of bs
and for the dudes who buy out the bar and can't pay their rent…just sad. my ex-bf had a roommate here in ATL that would go to the club and buy out the bar for chics and then have to ask his mom for rent money…ugh!
Ok comeback I will print both recipes and compare the "level of difficulty" (food network lol).
and the Itallian bread idea rocks, thank ya!!!
@ Mik..I see I need to do my love you tube cooking show ASAP!!!. yeah but this aint the food network. God forbid, we please our men with a little more than a cli%t and some spit. I'm sorry..
***logging off***
@Mikki : Ok, so there's the nice and thoughtful way to do it and then there's the manipulative way…the other commenters have given you the sweet and nice way…so here's my suggestion(devil on your shoulder):
Offer to give him money, like a hundred bucks or something…if he takes it then your even, but if he's the thoughtful and considerate man that you've made him out to be he'd refuse…insist a second time, allow him to refuse again….DON'T i repeat DON'T insist a third time because most likely he will just take it and blow it. After he refuses the second time, say "well at least let me cook you a big meal or something to show my appreciation."…to this he will agree to, and you would have already planned to do so anyways…so you come out on top looking like someone who not only can pull her own weight but also as someone who is appreciative of a man providing for her.
@Mikki: I just emailed it to you… it's coming from my yahoo address: latoya.
Oh, I've never tried the Italian Bread, I'm gonna have to do that… I usually get the texas 5 cheese toast out of the frozen section of the grocery and add a salad!
DISCLAIMER: I will reiterate and agree with Bree, men who spend money that they DON'T have just to get a chic's attention are SAD!…oh and STOOOOPID! Men take care of home first, your thoughts and efforts will mean nothing to me if you're one payment away from them repossessing that AMG.
BUT unlike my homegirl Bree, I don't have a problem with men spending money on me…I used to when I was much younger, but after it became a norm those feelings of anxiety kinda faded.
I better go and get some breakfast…I have a feeling this topic is going to drain alot of my energy today.
@Teacia…i so cannot cosign on your "tricking and marriage" being the same thing. I really don't agree when folks try to compare what men do for p*ssy to what a husband does for his family. the way most marriages work is that OUR money goes into an account and pays OUR bills for the thinks the benefit us BOTH and if the loans default OUR credit is affect. Both parties have a vested interest and derive benefits from the money spent. Now the ni@@a at the restaurant buying you and your girls dinner? How exactly does he benefit? where is the equal effort in that? Some dude paying my rent…um, yeah that's not at all the same as marriage.
I won't agree or disagree with men "spoiling" "caking" or "tricking" on women, i'm completely indifferent and would rather be in a relationship where we both do nice things for one another, but what ni@@as do to impress women is no comparison to what my father and mother do TOGETHER. I'm just sayin'.
"we all know that Miss Independent is a double edge sword, what they love about it they also hate too."
The Comeback girl you are so right. Also, just because a woman is "independent" it does not mean she doesn't want romance and love, etc.
"The Comeback girl you are so right. Also, just because a woman is “independent” it does not mean she doesn’t want romance and love, etc."
exactly Sheilia…grownups know that long term Miss independent also would like to collaborate, but not with foolishness.
@Sheila…i wrote an essay on that sentiment in college…you should read "when chicken heads come home to roost" by Joan Morgan, she does a good job of dealing with that very thing. I think a lot of men (and even women) mistake our "independence" to need that we don't need a man or the intimacy, security, and companionship that comes along with them…the truth is, we were created with those needs. My being independent means that i won't rely solely on anyone doesn't mean that I don't need anyone…just means if i gotta do for me, i can…and without hesitation
Mikki since he did let you stay there I would offer him money first or if not money, you need to at least give him a gift to show your appreciation for him letting you stay there.
I agree with Teacia on post #33.
**DAMMIT I can never edit my comments!!!***sigh** guess i need to proofread before i hit submit
"My being independent means that i won’t rely solely on anyone doesn’t mean that I don’t need anyone…just means if i gotta do for me, i can…and without hesitation"
Bree – true. I'll have to check out that book.
Mikki – I just saw your last message…since he wouldn't take money…at least get him a gift or as Teacia suggested cook him a good meal.
I find tricking stupid, not only because of simping reason…
but because of FINANCIAL RAMIFICATIONS
say you "trick" 50 dollars in the club every weekend. 200 dollars a month….safe estimate right? 2400 dollars a year
Now say you put that into a roth ira or other retirement account, or savings, or stocks, or bonds, or SOMETHING that harnesses the power of compound interest. We'd have so much more financial power and clout educations, businesses, and money making vehicles for our future.
Peoples, we are literrally pissing our money away. 2400 dollars a year just so we can say we were the "man in the club" And after that club is gone out of business, and all those clubgoers dive back into their holes, you look back and say "wow, i could have been a millionaire. That money could have been used towards so many better things."
It's deconstructive, and something that needs to be addressed on a wide scale.
Plus, if you have enough game, or are a fun enough person, you should be able to keep your company entertained off pure mojo. These so-called people say they have "swagger", but if you had so much "swagger" why do you have to get people drunk to like you?
im done…why so is serious.
Nicki I got the stamp of approval for that recipe you sent me from my co-worker, she said either cook the noodles or buy the kind that comes prepacked that you don't cook before hand (same thing i guess) but she said they come with instructions, the recipe looks great, and im hungry now lol.
Not to get off subject… but a moment of silence for those brotha's and sista's who lost their lives in the 9/11 tragedy. May we never forget their families or their lives.
@Bree: considering that Money is the #1 cause of divorce in there here society I have to respectfully disagree that it's not the same. The problem is the generalized definition that's been associated with the word. So what if his wife is an at home wife, he makes all the money and she sits around and look pretty…then what is it called? What is she bringing to the table that makes her so special that because there is a marriage license that it makes the situation any different than it would if they weren't married.
Okay now what if they're NOT married, both parties work, but the man refuses to let her spend her income on the necessitites…does that make him a "trick"…does it make her any less because she's okay with their financial arrangment. Let's be real, love isn't enough anymore…people don't stick it out like they use to. So if two people have an arrangement(whatever it may be) that works out for the both of them why must we hate on it?
@Why so: I completely agree with you….however the same could be said about dining out. I spend about $50/wk on eating out as do most Americans…now this is in addition to buying groceries…so if I ate at home I would render the same type of investment.
Now here's the rub, we're a self-indulgent materialistic society…it's a testament to our greatness as well our moral decline…but it is what it is. But we don't go around bashing people who choose to spend their money at the local eatery now do we?
@Mikki: Good deal. Girl, it's very good.. I've cooked it about three times and will probably be cooking it when I visit the ex at the end of the month. I love italian food!!!!! I didn't cook the noodles before, just layered them all and covered and bake. Dang, I'm hungry now. LOL. I'll go drink some water.
Ummm Mikki forward me that recipe please…I'm running out of ideas now that I'm not eating starches…this mess if for the birds btw.
@comeback and shelia: “we all know that Miss Independent is a double edge sword, what they love about it they also hate too.”
""""This is so true. It was even commented about on seven strangers by Junior. Here is the comment:
"But Sheila is an accomplished author!!! *Glory!!*", "Can't remember the last time us common folk was listed as a best-seller in any publication!" *check her out*
*Breaking into old negro spiritual song and dance*
Is their anyone who reads this who is a NORMAL black woman….geez, all y'all on levels that are getting close to high fiving God, talking about "get on my level, when y'all level is an entirely different game!!"
sincerely do understand the concept of setting goals. I posted earlier just because there are a contingency of young ladies who will admit that if you aren't spending tons of money everytime you go out, that you don't care about them. I don't think that's the case.
I agree it is ok to date around @ sheila, but I think at the same time, I want someone to struggle with me. In 2010 when I graduate, I'll be in a good place and the extent of things I can and will do will broaden. But for now, until summer time hits and I'm working a clerkship, yes I have to be cognizant of my spending.******
See JUNIOR said it best what you men really think .. if we are independent and can do shat on our own well you dont really want us. YOU WANT someone who can struggle with you and SHAT! … terriblE.. JUST TERRIBLE. I read that sand just said damn .. uh no wonder.. GOT TOO much going on for most men..
@Teacia: typical marriages these days don't have stay at home wives, most marriages have two working parents who share the cost of the bills…and, i still disagree with you…the vested interest of both parties makes it different…the cause of divorce being money is less about the husband "tricking" on his wife and more about people not having enough money or not being disciplined with money and the stress that arises from those issues. I'm sorry…some negroe buying out the bar in the hopes of getting my cooch is so not the same as my husband paying the downpayment on a car that we will both pay for and both have access to. Even if i was a stay at home wife, it wouldn't be the same…cuz i'm not cleaning the ni@@as house that bought me drinks at the club nor am i popping out his kids and raising them to be doctors and such. again…vested interest of both parties in the outcomes resulting from the things the money is spent on makes a difference. you make it seem like a husband is paying for love…no, he's paying for the things that will also benefit him and if he buys his wife a trinket or three, do u really think that's "tricking" i mean, didn't she iron that fools clothes? clean his house? pick up his dry cleaning? make him lunch? the stay at home mom does nice things for her husband as well that may not be monetary…so there is still an exchange. Is there an exchange between me and the guy at the restaurant who decided to pick up my check from another table? yes, a smile and a thank you…now that's tricking.
@why so…i just fell in love with you…talkin' all that finance and shat!!
Jolie Fatale: “This is the thing. Men who pop bottles in the club and are willing to buy a “random chick” a drink arent tricking. They are doing what they wanna cause they wanna. If they reap the benefits of a trick or two coming home with them because of the 9.00 drink or the TABLe they purchased then OH well.. She sold herself short for a table and a couple of drinks WHO CARES? Maybe she wanted to get hers just as much as he wanted to get his. The problem I see is that the men on here are HATERS! Hi HATER”
WHAT? I thought Hasani saying the white woman is a better mate than a black woman for today’s black male was the craziest thing I read on this blog, but that one ranks right up there. Hating implies jealousy. The average guy doesn’t hate the simp and isn’t jealous of the simp; he looks at him with derision and ridicule because his money is the only thing at his disposal that he has to attract women. It’s like the quote from Player’s Club: one girl says, “you have to use what you got to get what you want”, the other girl replies, “well, if that’s all you got.”
If not buying drinks for anonymous and unknown women in the club limits my “female potential”, then I’m more than happy that I’ve effectively filtered out the golddiggers and I’ll deal with the women I attract with looks, wit and charm. If we can have a decent conversation for 15 minutes, then I might buy her a drink. Never before.
Teacia: “It’s like you guys have managed to put a negative spin on men who cater to women…which is what you’re freaking supposed to do!!! Tricking aka providing…now when did this become a bad thing?”
Catering and simping are two different things (sorry for using the word “simping” again). Most men have no problem giving their woman things she wants/needs. Woman that cares about him, yes; woman that he met three minutes ago, not so much.
teacia..
respect. I understand what you're saying. What I'm getting at is a bit different. You're doing it for you, eating because the food is tasty. You're not doing it to impress others, or to keep up and image, or to sink money into something that doesn't have return.
Tricking is spending money just to say you got money. That's the mentality that many of us have to snap out…
wait. never mind. the people who need to hear this aren't here. And even if they were, they wouldn't listen.
@hugh jazz: whatever.. you dont go to the club to find a mate. if you do good LUCK .. (continuing to roll my eyes as i get back to work)
Nicki I can't wait lol, either im excited to cook or just hungry as hell, maybe I should go get me some water too lol
Teacia email comin your way.
Jolie: "@hugh jazz: whatever.. you dont go to the club to find a mate. if you do good LUCK .. (continuing to roll my eyes as i get back to work)"
100% agreed. Probably the worst place to meet someone. But I don't go to treat people I don't know either.
It's all a matter of perspective. It ain't tricking if you GOT it. If you can't pay your car note after buying a drink at the club then you AIN'T got it, so that statement doesn't even apply to you. Skip to the next record, lol.
lmao Britt!!
@Mikki: Make sure you let me know how it turns out!!!!
@hugh: and thats ok. To each his own. Like I said I sometimes avoid the bottle popper or the quick to buy me a drink guy .. just depends on the vibe. I just dont get the man who comes to the club and has the mindset of I WILL NEVER BUY A WOMAN A DRINK UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. I've bought a guy or two in my time a drink before. Was I simping? I mean if you say its your bday and I got it. Your favorite drink on me. Or if i'm talking to you and I'm about to get myself a drink and I like you I may (this has only happened once) offer to buy you a drink. (he didnt accept it) BUT I dont go out and say I WILL NOT BUY A MAN A DRINK ..
and y'all are using the word simp incorrectly on here: they are using it incorrectly
a simp is a bunk ass nagga with no game
he is SIMPLE
hence the word simp
the way its being used is wrong. simply an SBM term
I love Can't believe it! I never really listened to the words though. Ha. It just makes me want to put the car on cruise……
Where do I even begin…
1. Why on earth are we talking about this yet AGAIN and not bringing forth any new opinions or conclusions?
2. I really think that the men on here are the simps that hate on the "Tricks". Simps vs. Tricks. Definitively, a simp is a man who is a lame, a punk, who thinks he's a whole lot doper than he actually is. Let's call this Disillusioned Hyper Swagger Syndrome or DHSS for short. A trick is a man who buys things for women with the mere hope that she will at some point fellate him. A trick is a male who patronizes a prostitute. Hence the word trickin… paying money for sex.
3. It is not "trickin" to buy a girl a drink. Some men go to the club to spend time with women. Not to hold up the wall with their boys and get NO play. The men who hold up the wall are most often those who refuse to buy drinks and socialize with the opposite sex. They think that the women is supposed to somehow notice them against the backdrop of other wall flowers and grace him with her presence. Thats some wack shit. I will take a man chillin by the bar and socializing anyday over the simp on the wall.
4. Its usually the Simps who hate on the "Tricks" because the simps are there standing with their homo homies instead of workin the room from woman to woman. So the simps try to justify their hate by condemning the men who get more attention. I see it all the time.
5. Now the money, cars, clothes and vacation buying that men do for women… I am sure they do it because they WANT to and not in fear that the woman will leave them. Because if she did leave him, he could just go get another. SIMPle as that.
***my first long comment, please forgive me***
"he is SIMPLE
hence the word simp"
@ Jolie…LOL i never new this!!!!! thats amazing. SBM why don't you actually do the etymology of the word. And you missin "sice you". shout out to tabi http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqiKdUke69Q.
im startin my weekend early. Whose wit me.
@Jolie: a dude who has to spend money to get women has no game and is therefore a simp
lol Nicki you aint lyin thats the jam, but T-pain really need to stay out of any and all clubs cuz he is becoming the king of simp songs lol you gotta listen to the lyrics.
"im startin my weekend early. Whose wit me."
@comeback. I sure am. Having a MENTAL glass of champagne at the desk now.
@Britt: LOL….and I agree
@Why so: I agree as well, and you are right we need to change the mentality…HOWEVER, what do you call the white boys at the bar who ALWAYS pick up the tab…you call them people you love to hang out with, your bar buddies, your best friends. I find it amazing how when we do something in our race there's a negative connotation associated with it, but when another race does it, it's not only normal but WE applaud it.
My theory on this is we feel like this because we weren't always the "haves" that we have to hold on to what we have a little tighter. It kind of feeds into that inferiority complex a little in my opinion. I still do not agree with people spending money they don't have to impress someone for shallow reasons, but I understand the mentality behind it.
And why so sweetie, in today's society…IMAGE IS EVERYTHING! If you don't believe me, just ask Obama.
I forgot to add: That some find black man in the club has purchased. LOL
@Mikki: LOL. He loves him some strippers too, don't he?
@Fefe: Word. Life.
Thanks Mikki by way of Nicki…I'm going to try it out this weekend!!
@teacia…b/c as his wife, she has legal rights to everything he owns…as his girlfriend, he's just being a really nice guy. and if it were no different why would any of us women give a dam.n about getting married? and yes, "tricking" is more than just drinks but you brought up the example of guys giving away bottles at the club and buying you and your friends dinner…i wanted to clearly separate that from what goes on in a marriage.
don't get me wrong, i never said there was antything wrong with a dude caking out his woman, shoot buy your gf a mercedes if you think she deserves it. if he's my man, i expect both of us to be doing really nice things for one another he buys me a ticket to london, i buy him a ticket to spain…that's how it should be. ..if we got it.
Nicki I know spanish now because of that song lol.
I think all rappers should make a song in spanish, we would end up with a buncha bilingual kids runnin round.
Oh and Why So….you had me at "respect."
@Teacia: Let me know how you like it.
@Mikki: Im cracking up. LOL. Why have I been watching MTV3 (spanish) to learn it???!!! I'm determined to be bilingual BEFORE I have to take these classes at school so I can just breeze through them. *smile*
okay okay Bree…i feel you…and since i'm done playing devil's advocate for the morning i will have to agree in totality…but i still think the men are just HATING!!
…hey, variety is the spice of life.
Before I read the responses I gotta say this is one of thee mosts annoying things
these songs encourage girls to just have a phat booty, be pretty, strip and a man gon "buy u whatever u like", trick off you, "put u in a mansion"
what message are we sending our young girls
that its okay to be a prostitute?
That long as you have the appropiate body parts you dont need anything else in this world?
That long as you "Pop that thang" right a baller will come swoop you off your feet and marry you?
So our young girls are deciding super quick to strip….because they just waiting on that rapper to come save them
What happen to the "Dont save her…she dont wanna be saved"
now we the opposite
wtf???
and im sorry
any dude who will spend money on a girl simply because they have a "banging body" or can drink a coca cola our of there twatter is a SUPER SIMP EXTRODANAIRE
And any woman who thinks that her worth comes from whats between her hips is seriously LOST
Morning folks.
This word, simp, is new to me. From what I gather – I agree with Jolie's definition of it – SIMPLE and lame. And, tricking does have to do with prostitution – when did that change? turning tricks – hello? men paying for sex. let's get our terminology straight.
@ Bree – "@Jolie: a dude who has to spend money to get women has no game and is therefore a simp" – no, that's is his game – he's a trick.
sidenote – has Trick Daddy ever spoken about tricking on anyone? Tea, you can answer this one.
besides and this is the truth
listen fellas
WOMEN THINK MEN ARE DUMB FOR TRICKING
WHEN YOU SPEND BIG MONEY ON US..WE CONSIDER YOU A CHUMP AND SUCKER AND EASY
YES WE DO
EVEN THE BROKEST GIRLS WHO HAS A NICE GUY PAYING HER PHONE BILL CONSIDERS HIM A CHUMP
trust me on this one
it doesn't make you look good..u look like a sucker…easy..just like a girl who screws on the first date
lol
when a guy buys us a bottle whatever when we go out..and we know we aint givin him nothing in return..we laugh at his expense behind his back
all women do it
show some restraint
You know I love this post and that song is funny as hell. I believe in buying my own drinks because of how things are, men putting things in drinks, I'd rather handle my own. All I have to say is stop expecting someone to do it for you and go and get it yourself.
dont let a trick get you drunk..they just trying to get you drunk to get in your pants..and it works 9 times out of ten
so while you think u USING a dude …he's really just setting you up
MESSAGE LADIES
MTV3 the new BET lol
@Nicki
@true:"so while you think u USING a dude …he’s really just setting you up"
DUH.. but like i said sometimes women just wanna give it up .. plain and simple…
SBM – Good looks on putting my article out on your site, seems to have sparked some good commentary.
I just hope all your loyal readers make some time to check out the site too, http://www.MrSwagger.com.
Keep doing big things phrat, and you know I'm reading.
Now as a Mr. Swagger rep. I agree, simpin/tricking is ridiculous to me. You don't have any savings, but you poppin bottles for other people. Sure I like to pop bottles too, but the bills are paid, savings is looking good, and the vacations are already payed. Everything you do should be in moderation and saving up for the long haul. So you can be fly for the rest of your life, not for the next 10 minutes.
" was reading about a famous club owner in DC who was quoted as saying just in the last 3 or 4 years that his goal (parahrased) is to get some 21 year old to spend their last 50 dollars at his establishment. In order for this to happen some circus tricks must go down, smoke and mirrors. The club experience really is about the escape. Its about being whatever it is you want to be for 3-4 hours. Then you take your broke azz home and figure out how you gonna do it next week. And of course our music helps to sustain the mirage. (Hell that was the name of a very popular club I frequrented back in the day…and I just recently started to figure out, that there is SOOO much in a name)"
Shamely COMEBACK this was me :-[ years ago when it was DREAM and not LOVE
@Jolie(comment #24): I was trying to stay off here today because I have a deadline…so much for that.
Non-simp != Hater.
Urban Dictionary defines a Hater as: "A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person. "
Now…for this to apply to non-simps…we Tricksters would have to be successful more often than not. Non-simps are not Haters…we are Good Samaritans – scratch that – Superheroes with amplified perception powers saving simps from Chapter 11.
There is definitely something wrong here…spoiled rotten and independent don't go together. The concept of being spoiled with free admission and drinks because you have a p*ssy is rather silly. In the corporate world…you Wouldn't Get Far with that line of thinking.
@true-You remind me of a little phrase I learned from my K semester, "when you play the pussy game, you're bound to get fucked". I know I once had a dude who spent all his money and I do mean ALL on me and then expected me to go home with him. Ummm…he was setting me up…too bad I didn't fall.
@Cuzzo: I agree, the terminology is the problem up in here today. I don't think that a guy spending money on a chic should be labeled as "tricking"…especially since most of them who do it in the club will never even get a whiff of the vajayjay. For those that do and lace cash to the extreme, I call them "sponsors." Like I stated earlier, I've yet to hear a black man say that a white man is "tricking" b/c he's spending money on a chic he barely knows. Negative association is only attached within our race.
As far as the "simp" thing goes I had that argument this morning. I think it's used in the wrong context on here alot.
"Disillusioned Hyper Swagger Syndrome or DHSS for short"
***i just resuscitated myself*** LOL
jolie i typed that before I read your comment
LOL
and who said Marriage and Tricking are the same
BWAHAHAHAHAH
Sorry but that makes absolutely NO SENSE
You aren't STUPID for spending money on your WIFE
THATS YOUR WIFE
lol
@ True – I'm going to use Tea as the example because she put it out there and I cannot attest to any brother tricking on me – Tea is a seemingly independent, level-headed grown woman and says she's accepted men buying her and her friends dinner, buying her drinks, etc, etc. – is that prostitution? I don't think any clothes came off before the gesture was offered. or do you only think young women will get that message from those types of songs?
Songs that glorify a freak or a prostitute have been around – this ish ain't new. I'm not one for blaming music or media to define how I or my child will view themselves.
(I'm gonna sound like I'm inciting some ish – sorry in advance, but there too much pointing the finger and not looking at ourselves)
"besides and this is the truth
listen fellas
WOMEN THINK MEN ARE DUMB FOR TRICKING
WHEN YOU SPEND BIG MONEY ON US..WE CONSIDER YOU A CHUMP AND SUCKER AND EASY
YES WE DO
EVEN THE BROKEST GIRLS WHO HAS A NICE GUY PAYING HER PHONE BILL CONSIDERS HIM A CHUMP
trust me on this one"
….yeah I disagree, and I know a slew of women who also disagree. I think a man who couldn't get me if he had no money and uses it as a crutch is a chump, but I don't think that a decent man who enjoys picking up the check and/or car note is a chump.
@ teacia … click on my name and read my post and tell me what u think, lol.
LOL
an independant chick is the opposite of a trick
a trick is a girl who thinks a man should pay her bills to be in her company, often times..she NEEDs a man to pay her bills and this is her only source of income
being independant has nothing to do with not NEEDING or WANTING a man…it just means I got my own and can and will get it myself without a mans help
further..there are some tricks in the south as well as the north
just like there are independant women in the south and north
i dont think this is a north and south thing
lol @ that
"Shamely COMEBACK this was me :-[ years ago when it was DREAM and not LOVE"
so much in a name…Shakespeare lied to us all.
@teacia: I TOTALLY DISAGREE
IF A MAN I DONT KNOW AND AM NOT INTERESTED IN IS DOING THOSE THINGS FOR ME, THEN YES I WILL THINK HE IS A LAME.
BUT IF MY MAN, OR SOMEONE I AM INTERESTED IN DOES THOSE THINGS, THE WHOLE GAME CHANGES.
PERIOD.
@anti: I had to scroll all the way up to read what I wrote. Cause I say a lot of things. you always come with the dictionary dont ya?
Anywho… you said:
"There is definitely something wrong here…spoiled rotten and independent don’t go together. The concept of being spoiled with free admission and drinks because you have a p*ssy is rather silly. In the corporate world…you Wouldn’t Get Far with that line of thinking"
Why dont spoiled rotten and independent go together? If i'm independent I can spoil myself and why shouldnt someone feel as though I'm worthy enough to spoil especially since I can get whatever I want myself. FREE ADMISSION because I have an aquarium uh … I mean I didnt make up the concept … the clubs did. And I dont plan on meeting the FUTURE Mr. in the club.
I'd also like to say as much as I believe in being a lil spoiled I like to spoil others around me as well. AM I TRICKING?
Just asking ..
@Mikki: you ain't neva lied!
teacia
picking up the check is one thing
paying my car note is another
i dont even want a man paying my car note and he not my hubby
I dont mind if a dude "helps me" if i fall behind for whatever reason (that rarely happens)
but to pay my bills and stuff and he not my hubby..lol ..whatever..he's a simp…YES A SIMP- S-I-M-P.
SIMP
(im goin to make sure my sons dont pay any woman's bills who aren't their damn wife)
and all women do fellas is sit around and talk about what bills they "man" is paying of theirs..and we do it with such pride and bragging rights ..TRUST ME..ALL WOMEN DO IT
its like a badge of honor to get a man that you aint married to to pay ur bills and take care of you..its like saying "Im so good, and he so stupid..I can get him to pay my bills…and I aint even his wife..shoot..i barely give him some cooter"
LOLOLOLOLOL
haha teacia…you're bringing up some good points..
As soon as we, as a race, are on an equal and level playing field, I would like for every one of us can be the white-boy-at-the-bar. In fact, that is one of my goals, to have my finances so tight that a round of drinks for friends is a given, for the positives they bring to my life. But you best believe my kids' college fund will be filled to the brim, and my money will be making money will be making money etc…
If you think about it, all races have a hold tight mentality on certain things. They simply hold tight to the right things: property, investments, ASSETS, so they can be loose with the others (drinks for friends, trips to spain, etc)
And image isn't everything. Beauty fades, money gets spent, drinks get drunk. But true substance and class never goes out of style.
@ true – smh – trick does not refer to the woman
(slang) An act of prostitution. Generally used with turn.
At the worst point, she was turning ten tricks a day.
(slang) A customer to a prostitute.
As the businessman rounded the corner, she thought, "Here comes another trick."
spending 20 dollars on 2 drinks for a woman is far from simping..lol
20 dollars?
".. if we are independent and can do shat on our own well you dont really want us. "
Jolie exactly. They say they want one thing but they act like they want another.
Comeback, I started my weekend on yesterday.
@Teacia
"A man’s job is to provide, and for whatever reason he is unable to…and it doesn’t always boil down to irresponsibility, some men just lack the earning potential and education to make a woman feel safe."
So a man is suppose to provide for a 20, 30, 40 year old woman? Providing for an adult. Is that what us men are suppose to do? Are you saying that women are in a constant need to be clothed, fed, and given shelter? If that is what you are saying why is that? I thought you are suppose to provide for children and the elderly. I thought women can provide for themselves just as a man can provide for himself. My parents have been married for almost 30yrs and my mother never waited on my father to do s**t for her. She was dependant on him for things she could not do on her own. But if she could do it herself she did it.
"true substance and class never goes out of style."
why so serious – high five
@ jacklyn
@true-You remind me of a little phrase I learned from my K semester, “when you play the pussy game, you’re bound to get fucked”.
I like that..i truly do
but…i was just sayin the intent of the dudes in VIP and drink buyers
to get u toasted enough to hang out later
and it usually works
hey.and observation
oh yeah and i always say that WOMEN NEED TO STOP TRYING TO PROVE THEIR INDEPENDENCE!
if i am indepenDENT, they i dont have to prove it by buying myself a drink. nor do i lose my independence by allowing a man to pay my phone bill.
@true 2 me: it is indeed a north and south thing. men just have a different outlook on the issue. i grew up in NY… and spent summers in Miami and NC… there is a major difference in how these men act in regards to buying gifts and paying for things and whatnot.
@Why so: I'm an optimist…but lately i've been taking classes that has shattered my reality…unfortunately perception is 99% reality…and no matter how much substance and class one might have, if it perceived by the masses for one reason or another that it's not good enough, then we lose out. I hate it but it's true.
@True: again, we're just going to have to agree to disagree. I work…alot, will work 2 jobs if I need to get something done. I don't even DEPEND on my daughter's father to pull his weight because I will do what I have to. But if I'm dating a guy, even casually, and he sees that I'm in need and pays a bill here or there because he CAN, then I'm not going to play him out in front of my friends or anyone else for that matter…we can just call this a culture difference.
@Jolie: "I’d also like to say as much as I believe in being a lil spoiled I like to spoil others around me as well. AM I TRICKING? "
Don't ask questions that you don't want the answer to…
Seriously, if I were to use "The Game" I wouldn't need to spend a dime to pull a dime. I don't do that anymore(although rewarding in the short term, running game is a cold, heartless sport). The thing about simps is that they f*ck the Game up. They are like speculators artifically inflating the price of goods. Then all of a sudden…every woman wants "Trick Treatment" * sigh * I'm done. Back to work.
@ Humble – Tea didn't make it up – it's been a part of culture for years. The image of the man as the provider.
@Jolie – I am not a hater. Why do I have to be a hater if I don't condone tricking. You really think I wish I could shower money on women with the hope of getting something back in return? You think it burns me up so bad that I can't buy something for every woman I am attracted too?
@Cuzzo…i agree…it's not prostitution and i resent the idea that my girl is anything near one…if a dude wants to pay for her dinner cuz she's got a pretty smile, so be it.
@teacia…i gives nary a dam.n what white people do in comparison to black people…u will often hear me bash black men for stuff white men do but again, i care about black folks…they are my "family" white people can throw away their life savings at Club La Vida for all I care….but i feel you, it seems that the men here get all in a tizzy when there is any mention of men spending money on women. calm the f*ck down, if u don't wanna spend bread then don't…all these dudes "trickin" on women haven't kept you from getting any cooch, have they? then let them have at it.
@anti…i'm a little sick of men complaining that women get in the club free and men don't…here's the news: women will go to the club JUST to kick it with their girls, so we don't really need men there. men, however, want to see women when they go out. so clubs must make sure women will be there so the men will come THAT is why we get in free. if they let men in free, that shyt wuld be a sausage fest b/c we'd be thinking there are going to be too many "thirsty" a$$ dudes there and opt to kick it at the crib with our girls. think about it, how many times have you gone to the club and seen a group of girls kick it on the dance floor all night without dancing with one dude? besides, most of the clubs nowadays will let anyone in free before 11pm with an email pass, go to website and sign up…geez…LMAO
@anti: I dont want "trick treatment" but just because I can do everything for myself doesnt mean if I have a man i want to all the time.
.. It seems like I would be better off if I was a needy woman cause then you wouldnt consider it tricking you would consider it charity.. is that it..I gotta be some poor chick ? a chick that didnt achieve was she wanted to achieve and still has GOALS to reach higher..
SAY IT AINT SO ANTI .. say it aint so
@Humble: Simply put yes. I CAN provide for myself, but it's your duty to make sure that it's done.
@Britt: I agree with the post. I have a certain lifestyle that I want to live, I work and take care of mine, and there is nothing wrong in wanting a mate who can contribute to those comforts. For one they usually share the same lifestyle desire, so it's not our issue it's the issue of others who have nothing to do with what we have going on…those people are also known as HATERS…lol.
As long as no one is going for broke to TRY and keep up with an image I don't see the problem. But if you have considerably more debt than income then we have a problem.
Jolie: “@hugh: and thats ok. To each his own. Like I said I sometimes avoid the bottle popper or the quick to buy me a drink guy .. just depends on the vibe. I just dont get the man who comes to the club and has the mindset of I WILL NEVER BUY A WOMAN A DRINK UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES”
You sound like the type of intelligent woman that can see through the game. Seriously, if a drink is all it takes for a guy to take you home, something is wrong. But I’m not saying I would never buy a drink, I just wouldn’t buy a drink for just anyone. If we have a good conversation going, we can drink all night, on me.
Teacia: “@Hugh: lol, so in response to your response to Jolie…actually I do see it as a form of hating…because the playing field is no longer even. He’s “f*cking up the game” if you will…I guess my issue is if they’re okay with it, and she’s okay with it…then why the hate? There’s someone for everyone. And like Jolie said, if a chic is willing to sell themselves short for a bottle and a booth, then that’s a whole other problem we need to address.”
It’s not hating if you have it as well. Action and ability aren’t the same thing.
And they aren’t unevening the playing field, they are actually doing the rest of us a favor. Get the chickenheads and golddiggers in your booth so I know where the real ladies are.
There’s no hate, at least not from me. I don’t care enough about what people do to be a hater. If you want to buy the bar out, knock yourself out. But it is pathetic that a man will buy a drink for a woman in hopes of getting somewhere with her and he’s behind on the rent.
@the Ladies: It's quite funny how women are talking about "men as providers". I am hearing "take a risk", "show your interest", "buy a drink" because it's "not a big deal".
If guys start talking about "women as caretakers" on some "stay at home", "get in the kitchen", "submit to your husband" type sh*t we might start a fight. Why can we demand that men occupy their traditional roles only when it is convenient for women?
@hugh: ok ..we agree.. i like your philosophy.. at least one man on here makes some sense
there is hope!
Humble One – if you're married, the man should be the leader or head of household and that doesn't mean he bares ALL responsibility for the family but should be working in a partnership with his wife. Each one will bring strengths into the relationship. When it boils down to it a woman would like to feel secure that she can DEPEND on her husband and that dependancy is not limited to just finances. The woman could be making more money that the husband, but she should be able to depend on her husband to make wise financial decisions.
@hugh: "And they aren’t unevening the playing field, they are actually doing the rest of us a favor. Get the chickenheads and golddiggers in your booth so I know where the real ladies are." LOVES IT! LMAO
@Jolie: I am a card-carrying , liberal democrat when it comes to politics. I act like a damned conservative Republican when it comes to dating: I say NO to Entitlement Programs and tricking = pork-barrel spending.
You "treat" your wife…anything else is "tricking". Let's get the lipstick off the pig, please.
class and substance should always come first. Yes, image is important. But it is the effect, not the cause. I'd be mad if I bought a Corvette that performed like a Ford tempo.
Form follows function.
@ Anti – Tea mentioned this "Hey like I said, I work for mine, but given the right circumstances I will STOP in a heartbeat….and that’s keeping it real…for real for real." And, I would too! Not because he said alright woman – you work for me now, get ure butt in the kitchen, but because I want to.
To piggyback on what Antidater said. Tricks kill the game. To quote Anti "they f*ck the Game up. They are like
speculators artifically inflating the price of goods".
Tricking starts early I would say around middle school age. The problem I've seen is that some women associate tricking with how they are suppose to be treated. It starts so early that you don't even have a fighting chance. Dudes that trick either don't respect women or they're soft. You should be able to attract a woman off the strength of you. If you can't win just off being you then maybe you need to re-evaluate your swag.
@Anti-dater: it wouldn't start a fight with me. I don't mind taking those traditional roles with my husband. I pray that when he sent to me, he is that BLACK KING, that makes me want to be submissive. Not every man can qualify for that role.
If he is taking care of home and bills, why not cook and clean and cater and be his June Cleaver? I have no problem with that. Problem is, I'm not seeing many choices for us women out here for KINGS. Most of the time, we are expected to submit and play June Cleaver AND take care of bills. What gives?
Where the hell was I last Thursday….why don't I remember that post?!?!? *checking the records*
@Hugh: I think we can all agree that men who spends his rent money to impress some chic he doesn't know is a loser, but we're not talking about those guys anymore. So if a guy invites me up to his booth for a drink and conversation it makes me a chickenhead and a golddigger…and it dispells the notion for the other chics who were left behind. What if I was just his type? Why does it all have to be so cut and dry…only haters see things in one dimensions.
@Anit: sign me up…taking off the blazer and putting on the apron. I'm the first one ready….working is overrated…i mean really…lol.
To all the men: All and all I dont care what a man can do for me. I can do for me. The men I have been in relationships with in the past ended up being the one I chose because of who they were on the inside. It didnt matter about their degree, the kind of car they drove, the degree in which they would spend money on me. It just came down to who they were on the inside. The things they did in the relationship as well as the things I did for them I never really thought of it as tricking or simping it was just doing for the person I cared for regardless of how it would make me look.. etc…
Ok .. I'm done with this topic. Some men buy drinks.. some dont.. some men buy tables some dont.. sometimes i partake sometimes i dont …
Have I ever been in a relationship with anyone i have met in the club .. NO .. NEVER…
the end.. fin..
@Why so: "I’d be mad if I bought a Corvette that performed like a Ford tempo. "
…well stop shopping at the Ford dealership…if you want a Corvette, Chevy should be your destination.
@Antidater
"I am a card-carrying , liberal democrat when it comes to politics. I act like a damned conservative Republican when it comes to dating: I say NO to Entitlement Programs and tricking = pork-barrel spending."
Cosign. Not only am I staunch Republican when it comes to dating, but I am a feminist also.
@ Fly Guy: A lot of statments that I put on here are general opinion, but since u addressed me personally and I love personal attention… I will answer with solely my opinion.
I think that men from South get my attention quicker than a man from the north because they seem to go for what they want vs. waiting for women to come to them. Not to say that men from the north are wrong for waiting for women to approach them, cuz most women from the north are more forward and go for what they want.
Me- my mom told me to never chase a man. She's a g. So I appreciate when gentlemen extend themselves toward me. I LOVE charm over "trickin/simpin" anyday. So if man has charm, I'll fall for it. lol.
Men who have to use their money to get my attention are wack. And that only impresses women who have never seen anything in life. But a drink or a lil gift here and there is perfectly acceptable. Over doing it makes me think that you have nothing else to offer and/or are compensating.
@Humble: "You should be able to attract a woman off the strength of you. If you can’t win just off being you then maybe you need to re-evaluate your swag."
…this is a blatant generalization that doesn't always apply. i know plenty of charming men, with a great resumes and as beautiful as all get out, who will spend a grip on you without a blink. to each his own ya know.
@Nicki Sunshine
"If he is taking care of home and bills, why not cook and clean and cater and be his June Cleaver? I have no problem with that. Problem is, I’m not seeing many choices for us women out here for KINGS. Most of the time, we are expected to submit and play June Cleaver AND take care of bills"
Thats funny cause I know guys that have women that refuse to take any responsibility.
Antidater I agree with some of your points – get out the confetti (smile). The reason why there are issues is because some folks expect wifely/husbandly duties from someone who isn't their wife/husband. If you want that–get married; otherwise it's hard to be mad at someone for not doing certain things.
What if that man CAN "win" just off being himself but still wants to spend money on his woman? What if he's with a woman that works hard and lives pay check to pay check? He wants to take care of her – not because she may be giving it up, but because she is a good woman, takes care of her home and her kids and may not have much to lavish herself in the end.
I think the term needs to be ironed out. When did "trick" just ship from pimping and prostitution?
@nicki:
"@Anti-dater: it wouldn’t start a fight with me. I don’t mind taking those traditional roles with my husband. I pray that when he sent to me, he is that BLACK KING, that makes me want to be submissive."
I TOTALLY AGREE.. I am ready. I am already working on my business plan which will enable me to leave working for the man and work for myself which will enable me to take care of my future husband with all the TRADITIONAL gender ROLES that entails. I CANT BE THE STAY AT HOME MOMMY WHO DOESNT WORK.. it isnt me so my own business is perfect and he will be treated like the KING he is …. warm bubble bath when he comes home and all.. SIGH … where are you KING?!
Lol @ Humble
Tricking does early. I remember there was this "new girl" my sophomore year in high school. She was fine and all the dudes were trying to holla. I didn't as she was a bit of an attention whore.
She spoke with me one day and told me that she thought I was "cute" but too "broke" for her to holla at. Goldiggers should go into Investment Banking or Corporate Development as they are great at Valuation – unfortunately that requires "work". Apparently, she was hitting dudes up for love, affection, and pesos and my lack of offers "to pay for pesky high school sh*t" led her to conclude that I was broke.
I was told that she became a stripper later…
teacia…lmao. If I ever get in trouble, I want you to be my lawyer…You are law right?
*AGREES WITH CUZZO*
@Fly: I'm with FeFe on this one.
@Nicki…“If he is taking care of home and bills, why not cook and clean and cater and be his June Cleaver? I have no problem with that. Problem is, I’m not seeing many choices for us women out here for KINGS. Most of the time, we are expected to submit and play June Cleaver AND take care of bills"
A-fuckin' men! Ya'll don't realize there are more of us out there than you think that are perfectly happy with the idea of "traditional" roles, for the man that plays his. Trust and believe I cannot wait to play Claire Huxtable for The One. Hell, my best friend just quit her dam.n job as a tax attorney at a big four firm because it wasn't allowing her to be the wife she wants to be…
It is quite possible to be an independant woman and still believe in traditional roles. Somebody pick up Joan Morgan's book.
"What if that man CAN “win” just off being himself but still wants to spend money on his woman? What if he’s with a woman that works hard and lives pay check to pay check? He wants to take care of her – not because she may be giving it up, but because she is a good woman, takes care of her home and her kids and may not have much to lavish herself in the end."
PREEEEACH CUZZO….CAN I GET AN AMEN….CONGREGATION I SAID CAN I GET AN AAAAMEN!!
@Comeback
" I don’t believe you and yes, please get some more people. You could kick it “wit your boys” at Applebees. You are NOT going to some establishments just to kick it. lets be real."
Yes I do. I could be with my boys and drink and talk s**t for hours. Would I prefer eye-candy when I go out? Most definetly. I also dont want to be in a place full of hard legs. But everytime I go out I am not in the mood to approach women. Sometimes I am in the mood sometimes I'm not. What I am saying is that the presence of women or trying to hook up with one does not dictate if I have a good time or not.
lol @ Tea
@Jolie…TWO TIMES!!! A-MEN. LOL, actually, my plan is to work on other folks business plans while i'm at home waiting for my kids to get out of school and my husband to bring me that good lovin after work…so, if'n you need some help with your business plan, let me know…i'm just sayin', we may as well get each other's ducks in a row before he gets here, lol
@ ANTI
If guys start talking about “women as caretakers” on some “stay at home”, “get in the kitchen”, “submit to your husband” type sh*t we might start a fight. Why can we demand that men occupy their traditional roles only when it is convenient for women?
^^^^^^^
buying a drink is not the same as being a stay at home mom
@Humble: Are these men KINGS???? Did they know what type of women they picked before they choose to be with her?
High-5ing Jolie!
"my mom told me to never chase a man"
FeFe, my mom taught me that too. If a man is interested ENOUGH in you, he'll approach you–maybe not immediately but eventually.
LOL @ Anti!!
@Why so: Nope, decided against law this year and decided to get a Master's in Public Administration instead…I took the LSAT though a couple of years ago. I got my eye on being mayor one day…that is unless my "black bill gates" swoops me up and tells me to put away such silly things like work and just feed him, fu*k him and shut the f*ck up…lol…a ha ha ha!!
i agree with humble
you can go somewhere and just kick it with your peoples…
you dont have to go out and always be on the prowl
thats a misconception
@Cuzzo
"What if that man CAN “win” just off being himself but still wants to spend money on his woman? What if he’s with a woman that works hard and lives pay check to pay check? He wants to take care of her – not because she may be giving it up, but because she is a good woman, takes care of her home and her kids and may not have much to lavish herself in the end."
In addition to all that. If she is supportive of me and not asking for anything, then no it is not tricking. I would go out of my way for her because she is working hard and has my back. I would have absolutely no problem spending money on her.
@Bree: Yes girl. I am a certified independent woman who WILL submit for the KING!!!!!
@Humble: "In addition to all that. If she is supportive of me and not asking for anything, then no it is not tricking. I would go out of my way for her because she is working hard and has my back. I would have absolutely no problem spending money on her."
….so the key in all of this is her "not asking" per se. well last i checked, i didn't ask for the bottle, but if you knew i was thirsty…well then how is it that you're not fulfilling my needs. i didn't ask for the table, but i got on 5inch stiletto heels and you knew my feet probably hurth…how is that not fulfilling my needs…lol.
lol…ok, yeah maybe i should have gone to law school instead…i only kid Humble.
@ Humble and True..my point is that Humble was partaking in the fantasy (as most men do) and dismissing the very thing that requires it to actually work. At the circus you gotta have that man who can drill the spike up his nose or a circus you aint got. Trickin/Simpin/Pimpin is apart of the show. If you dont want to see the butt naked midgets …go somewhere else but because its apart of the mystique.
@ bree, I really liked Joan Morgan's "Chicken heads" she put a totally different spin on the famous black INDEPENDANTWOMANSUPERHERO..the modern day Harriett Tubman/martyr is how I'd like to refer to her. But Black women aren't writing books like these anymore. Best modern feminist writing on black pop culture EVER written.
@cuzzo
@ true – smh – trick does not refer to the woman
(slang) An act of prostitution. Generally used with turn.
At the worst point, she was turning ten tricks a day.
(slang) A customer to a prostitute.
As the businessman rounded the corner, she thought, “Here comes another trick.”
where im from…a trick is the woman or the man
tricking was shorted to trick
tricking was what the woman does…or the man does
the woman tricks the man into giving her the doh
the man is the trick she working on
the woman doin the tricking is a trick as well (at least where I come from)
lol
The terminology isn't important…its what is being done…its really no big deal ..lol
im surprised no one else ever called a woman a trick before
Nicki>>><<< True
its been that way alot lately
@Bree: Yes girl. I am a certified independent woman who WILL submit for the KING!!!!!
@True: we have, it just doesn't work in the context for today, unless sex is explictedly being exhanged for money and gifts…but that's not what these fools are harping about today. they're just talking about men wasting money at the "prospect" of getting to know a chic intimately or other.
@Breelicious
"A-fuckin’ men! Ya’ll don’t realize there are more of us out there than you think that are perfectly happy with the idea of “traditional” roles, for the man that plays his."
Maybe it's just here in the north, but I don't know too many men that want a woman in the traditional role. It seems more women than men are happy with traditional roles in relationships. At least where I am it seems that way.
"Trust and believe I cannot wait to play Claire Huxtable for The One"
Clair Huxtable was a lawyer. I never remember her leaving the law firm to be a stay at home mom.
lol
@Comeback: LOVES Joan Morgan…"i need a feminism broad enough to f*ck with the grays"…I might reread that book this weekend. I'm such a neofeminist! When I'm at work, I want to be treated just like the men, but when I put on a sexy dress and head to the club, best believe I'm gon' be pissed if not one dude verbally recognizes the lucious curves God saw fit to bless me with, LOL. My type of feminism says I can change my own dam.n spark plugs on my car (and have done so) but if'n a nice fella offers to do it, trust and believe I'll stand there and be cute while he gets his hands dirty.
@Humble…Claire Huxtable was a woman able to balance her "independence" with the traditional role. She contributed financially to the household, she cooked for her family, she helped them with their homework, and she supported her husband. All things I intend to do…now, whether I head out the door every morning or work from my home office is no matter…point is, those are the things I intend to do. I'd just like to be in a position where I make enough to do it in less than 8 hours/day, b/c there is definitely an immediate and clear benefit to being available for your children when school ends @ 3:00 rather than when you get off of work @ 5:00. I don't recall once saying I want to be a stay at home mom…that's not the only definition of the traditional role, at least not in my opinion.
and you's a lie if you really think the men up north don't want a woman who will hold it down in the kitchen and have dinner ready when they get home, and who can make sure their household is in good order. i'm not saying the wife on The Wonder Years…I'm talking the woman who is your partner/equal, but still has a grip on her "wifely duties" (of course as long as you have a grip on your "husbandly" duties)…i have almost exclusively dated men from up north and well, it seems to me they want it just like dudes in the south do.
@ Bree I totally agree. I use the word feminism rather loosely in a pratricia hill collinish/alice walkerish kind of way. But I totally agree about the work/home elements. "aint I a woman" even when I take this little neccessary situational penis when im negotiating pay, tryna get credit for my work etc.
but I like being a "girl" i cherish all that makes me a woman with all i got. both thoughts can co-exist.
@Breelicious
"Claire Huxtable was a woman able to balance her “independence” with the traditional role. She contributed financially to the household, she cooked for her family, she helped them with their homework, and she supported her husband. All things I intend to do…now, whether I head out the door every morning or work from my home office is no matter…point is, those are the things I intend to do. I’d just like to be in a position where I make enough to do it in less than 8 hours/day, b/c there is definitely an immediate and clear benefit to being available for your children when school ends @ 3:00 rather than when you get off of work @ 5:00. I don’t recall once saying I want to be a stay at home mom…that’s not the only definition of the traditional role, at least not in my opinion."
Okay I understand. That was how my mother was and thats the type of woman I would wife.
"and you’s a lie if you really think the men up north don’t want a woman who will hold it down in the kitchen and have dinner ready when they get home, and who can make sure their household is in good order. i’m not saying the wife on The Wonder Years…I’m talking the woman who is your partner/equal, but still has a grip on her “wifely duties” (of course as long as you have a grip on your “husbandly” duties)…i have almost exclusively dated men from up north and well, it seems to me they want it just like dudes in the south do.
You are right that is what me and a lot of dudes want up here. Once a again that is the type of relationship and wife I want. I thought you were talking about the woman that stays at home and doesn't get a W2.
am i the only one having problems with posting?
"Claire Huxtable was a woman able to balance her “independence” with the traditional role. She contributed financially to the household, she cooked for her family, she helped them with their homework, and she supported her husband."
I gotta bullshyt this right quick. There is no way in the HE$LL that an atty on the fast track at a firm (with a husband who is a physcian) NOT have help with like 5 or 6 kids different agees, with different needs when the show went off.
Balance my @zz. That did not happen.
My weekday schedule in a perfect world:
6:00 – 8:00 – get my family ready for school/work, kids dressed, breakfast cooked and out the door
9:00 – 3:00 – meetings with clients, teach business plan courses, work on plans, etc. (read: BE MY OWN BOSS)
3:30 – 5:00 – Ballet/Soccer mom – work on homework, shuttle the kids to activities
6:00 – 8:00 – cook, clean, listen to the hubby's day, put the kids to bed
10:00 – until – S.EX KITTEN!!!
Now just to find the man…..
@comeback…of course Claire is an exaggeration…it's TV…but the ghist of it is what I want. Shyt, she also managed to speak EVERY language that any of their international friends or random passers by happened to speak and they were close personal friends with every jazz musician in the world, lol
@ SBM why can't we edit our comments after someone else has posted. I don't remember that being in the edit feature a few weeks ago.
I can't even pretend like I've kept up with stuff here but I must say something!
Clair Huxtable is the prototype. She is who I look for in a wife (and am convinced that I will never ever find!). She was the perfect mom, she was a high paid attorney who took her career very serious, she was smart and sexy. But the most important thing was she had a great career and contributed financially to the household while still being a good housewife. Bill did contribute more to the house than the traditional husband (cooking and whatnot) but that's a small sacrifice to have two 6 figure income earners and be able to provide for 5 kids.
Also … she was a freak. I mean Bill seemed like he was always getting it.
…can someone please tell me what there is to eat besides starches and potatoes…wait isn't potato a starch. oh and i don't eat chicken, so that's not an option. i'm running out of stuff to eat, EVERYTHING is a starch…*sigh*
…oh well, so much for my fantasy.
damn where did that password go to my match.com profile?!?!??
@Teacia: Do you like fish? Tilapia is a good one to try.
"I can’t even pretend like I’ve kept up with stuff here but I must say something!
Clair Huxtable is the prototype. She is who I look for in a wife (and am convinced that I will never ever find!). She was the perfect mom, she was a high paid attorney who took her career very serious, she was smart and sexy. But the most important thing was she had a great career and contributed financially to the household while still being a good housewife. Bill did contribute more to the house than the traditional husband (cooking and whatnot) but that’s a small sacrifice to have two 6 figure income earners and be able to provide for 5 kids.
——–
more mythical unicorns, without help of parents, nanny and or housekeeper…it didnt happen like this. Somebody @zz got left at girlscouts, piano practice, recitals, ballet. Cliff's wang got dry sometimes. Claire fell asleep ridin'. it be's like that.
thats pretty much how my household was run…my mom and dad didn't make anywhere near six figures but their income was about the same, they both worked. my mom cooked dinner every night, made sure we did our chores and our homework and had clean clothes even gave us those meaningful speeches, and as for what they did in the bedroom…well, my daddy always seemed a happy guy, daddy cooked breakfast on saturdays and made the main entree on sunday nights (usually rotisserie chicken), he mowed the lawn on the weekends, took out the trash every night, made sure the cars had gas in them, fixed stuff (and when he didn't fix it right my mom would re-fix it herself). i don't expect my life to look just like the cosby's…but i do hope it looks like my parents' (with a lil mo money, lol)
@comeback…i think that's to be expected….no one's life is perfect especially in the absence of writers, a director, make-up artists, and the ability to tackle any problem in 30 minutes. it's an ideal to aspire to, not a play by play manual on how to live
@Teacia – You can't eat brown rice, beans, or whole grain foods? They are starches but good starches.
shyt sometimes my singledom @zz life is tough to manage. I can't imagine all those kids with a working husband and NOT have somebody other than me or my man wash a dish.
Yeah I have my stock of Tilapia…and Humble I only eat whole grains, but I eat it in abundance(not a good look)…so I decided to give up bread for 3 weeks, since I literally eat bread everyday.
I have 31 days until 29 and I gots to be at my flyest.
@Breelicious
"thats pretty much how my household was run…my mom and dad didn’t make anywhere near six figures but their income was about the same, they both worked. my mom cooked dinner every night, made sure we did our chores and our homework and had clean clothes even gave us those meaningful speeches, and as for what they did in the bedroom…well, my daddy always seemed a happy guy, daddy cooked breakfast on saturdays and made the main entree on sunday nights (usually rotisserie chicken), he mowed the lawn on the weekends, took out the trash every night, made sure the cars had gas in them, fixed stuff (and when he didn’t fix it right my mom would re-fix it herself). i don’t expect my life to look just like the cosby’s…but i do hope it looks like my parents’ (with a lil mo money, lol)"
I grew up similar. The person who cooked was whoever got home first. My mother went grocery shopping. My dad maintained the outside and cleaned the inside of the house until me and my brother got older. Both of my parents did the laundry until I was about 10 then I washed and ironed my own clothes. My father was the fix-it man and did the disciplining of me and my brother.
@Bree: My parents were like that. My Dad did cook more often than twice a weel, but they both worked hard jobs, brought in enough money to spoil me and my brother and life was good.
I will admit that I was a latch key kid though mon most days cause my mom wasn't home from work, but she was part of the PTA, picked me up from Debate Team practice, and all that good isht.
@SBM – I was a latch key kid too. I hardly ever got to see the cartoons in the afternoon.
Teacia: "@Hugh: I think we can all agree that men who spends his rent money to impress some chic he doesn’t know is a loser, but we’re not talking about those guys anymore. So if a guy invites me up to his booth for a drink and conversation it makes me a chickenhead and a golddigger…and it dispells the notion for the other chics who were left behind. What if I was just his type? Why does it all have to be so cut and dry…only haters see things in one dimensions."
Does it make you a golddigger for going to a guy’s booth for conversation? No, not necessarily. Does it make a guy a trick if he’s spending money for the sole purpose of trying to impress women with his financial prowess? Yes. Does that include guys that can afford their rent and other expenses? According to several other commenters, yes.
Also note I didn’t “cut and dry” anything. See my comments with Jolie. I have no issue buying drinks for a woman who is showing genuine interest in me.
@Teacia: Steamed Veggies is not the best but I like to steam brocolli (I'm staying away from the starches too… have now weined myself off white bread!).
I'm not gonna lie, it's so hard to eat healthy. Being Kentucky bread, everything good is a starch.
I had a very (sometimes overly) involved single parent who worked a mad hard job to keep the tuition paid and cooked too much (chubby kid)…however while we are idealizing our parents. Its very safe to say that a 200k+ income earning lifestyle requires quite a bit of sacrafice (some time and renegotiating roles and HELP) are the primary ones.
I hate to dish rag everyone here during lunch..but lets just drink a little truth serum please…while we;re all prototypin Claire and Michelle.
@Hugh: I agree. It is tricking. A drink can be purchased for someone with general interest in you, but there people who are throwing money around in the hopes that it will attract some chickenhead is just sad and f*cking up the game.
@sbm: so you admit its a game?
Damn! 200 comments and its only noon!
i was a latchkey kid as well, i got home before my mom, did my homework and went out and played with my friends…but those were the days when u didn't have to work til 10pm to be promoted.
@comeback…i think you're criticizing the extreme…i'm not sure who here said they wanted all that plus a $200+ income…and trust if i had that, i would also have a nanny. it's not unrealistic or unattainable for two people to work and make comfortable salaries and still play their traditional husband and wife roles…yes, some things will slip through the cracks from time to time…no i won't always be able to enthusiastically give my hubby head, no i won't always be able to pick my kids up from ballet, but you're not going to convince me that it's not possible to live that lifestyle most of the time with the understanding that it will only be most of the time and not all of it. sometimes overindulgence of realism results in a bellyful of cycnicsm
@comeback: I agree, please pass stop passing around the kool-aid. My mom worked two jobs after my dad split, and although we want to embody this perfect representation, someone will always lose out in the end…be it the kids, the mother who leaves her dream to create a stable environment for said children, or the father who…wait i got nothing when it comes to the man, i wonder why that is…i guess women are the ones generally making the sacrifice for their man…now why is it that you shouldn't spend money on me?
@sbm: yeah, uhhhh…hmpt…we need to talk…lol.
Ok Nicki I got it!!
comeback ” cli%t and some spit.”
classic and I love it you made my day with that comment I will be laughin all day for that.
Teacia hmmmm??? I did offer him money once since I have been there, in a kinda do you need some money? kinda way he turned it down and i think he was a bit offended. I dunno if i wanna offer again cuz im not sure if i can put on the act without coming off as forceful again.
But I like your idea, I just need a different way to present it
Teacia: Veggies, veggies, veggies! That is probably the only thing all nutritionists will agree on, we don't eat enough vegetables. A large salad will fill you up, has a lot of fiber, and very few calories (just watch the salad dressing). Add some meat or hard boiled eggs and you get in the protein you need too. Just make sure you get a decent amount of protein in each meal, and you can load up on as much vegetables as you want.
The one thing to be aware of is going low-carb or no-carb withouth healthy fats is suicidal! Get some almonds or cashews (preferable non-salted), and use olive oil. The new craze is coconut oil. Taking a fish oil supplement, while disgusting, helps as well. Taken with a meal will fill you up. You can get away with fattier meats as long as you keep your carbs low.
And drink a lot of water too. Drink 20 oz of water before you eat and you will feel more full. Good luck getting to your flyest!
SBM: why is match.com a link on the site now. AND where is the search on the sidebar?
Hey Everybody,
HA!!! I was having this conversation with a friend last night. Also, my father and I were talking about it last nite too. This definitely goes both ways.
I know a chic who is married and she is tricking on her boyfriend and not able to pay the bills her and her husband have.(honest truth) I total agree with this post the meaning of
'you got it' falls under having big loot(millions/billions), where you might have lost count. So it definitely is tricking at all cost if are struggling a week later…lol
I agree, if it's your wife/husband that is something totally different, but these randoms ass people in the club you are trying to make think that you are 'so-called ballin' that is dumb and you should kill yourself as SBM says. Even if you are trying to make people think you are balling that makes you really 'WHACK'. Usually people with plenty of money don't flash it.
Now let me go and read what the hell is going on in these comments
@Comeback and Teacia – Claire Huxtable is an extreme. But the general idea of both parents working professional jobs and still having somewhat traditional roles is not far-fetched. If a man and women work as a team it can be done.
@ bree: the extreme happens to be close to quite a few people's reality (and even a few potential realities-given some of the convos on money and wealth creation.)
On the other hand even if we are talking about the average, thats where I do question the dedication. If you got a 9-5 or an 8-4 (single or otherwise) you besta be home. That kid better be lookin like her/his butt NEVA get's dirty NEVA. She/he better be fluent in at least 2 or 3 other languages. Her/his dinner betta be on the table by 5:45. And she/he betta be in bed by 8pm (assuming the appropriate age). Errybody betta be fykin regularly and twice on sunday.
Im not saying that its not doable. Im saying that it doesn't go down as depicted.
@ Teacia, I agree, however with the appropriate amount of "getting real with yo self" I don't think many things have to suffer. Alot of black men are prentending Michelle doesn't have a mother, a hairdresser, a housekeeper, an assistant, etc.
@humble…thank you
@comeback…i still think you're being extreme…i'm sure no one here rich or "comfortable", single or married, expects their lives to go down exactly like that. i surely don't. but overall, yes, i'd like that to be what i can say for it most of the time. shyt, plenty of times my mom picked me up super late from cheerleading practice…sometimes the janitors went home before i did…but on the whole, i remember her being available to check my homework and cook my dinner and sit down with her man to watch some tv.
shyt i ain't tryin to be exactly like Clair or Michelle…just sumthin' like it.
@Breelicious
"shyt, plenty of times my mom picked me up super late from cheerleading practice…sometimes the janitors went home before i did"
lol. That happened to me too. Not at cheerleading practice but basketball practice or latch key. lol. I remember one time when one of the teachers took me home. There was a few times I was the last to get picked up.
I'm with Comeback on this one…I want a cook and a nanny for those occasions when doing it all will just be too much. We can't do it all and have it all…it just work.
@Hugh: Thanks, this is a HUGE change for me…i love my fatty foods, love them…but i want to start incorporating a healthier regimine into the things that i grew up on as well. In addition to my being fine at 29 of course.
@ Teacia: Don't forget there are still good guys out there that take care of their kids or are even single fathers. Every woman isn't handling business like your mother was.
@ Ladies: Is it tricking when I guy takes you out on a nice date which runs him up like $60-$100. Movies, dinner, lounge, whatever? Is it tricking if yall already talking and he really does have a chance at getting the goods? Some men don't like to spend money wifey, let alone hoes in the club. We had done an article on that and it was interesting how alot of women rather not have the man empty his pockets (http://www.mrswagger.com/2008/09/whats-first-date-limit-b4-you-start.html) on a date.
@Johnny: I know of 3 women just on this blog alone…NEXT!
@ SBM – "but there people who are throwing money around in the hopes that it will attract some chickenhead is just sad and f*cking up the game."
How is this effing up the game? You don't want the chickenheads and scallywags anyway, do ya?
lol @ Tea's response to Johnny – yea, I gotta get the Wrap it up box on you son. *plays oscar music* There are a lot more that I know of taking care of business then there aren't.
@ Tea – I'll be dammed if a portabella mushroom don't taste like steak with some A1 sauce. mash up some steamed calliflower w/ a lil salt n pepper, i dunno if u can have butter or marg or even that fake shake on stuff, it will be like mashed potatoes.
@Johnny McFly: I don't consider it tricking… hell, sometimes I pay for the date and I know I'm not tricking.
I can't be with a cheap or stingy man, simple as that. I'm independent and all that good stuff but I want to be treated too…. I'm a giver and I want my mate/date to be just as giving as I am.
I have had a man get over on me with money a little while back but that was back in my "simple AKA stupid" days… you live and you learn.
yep, more of the typical misspellings and left out words going on, maybe i should stop typing laying down and get up and take my butt back to work.
Small commercial break. Ya'll have GOT to watch this. It's the funniest thing ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRfjLfyXYlA
@Cuzzo
"How is this effing up the game? You don’t want the chickenheads and scallywags anyway, do ya?"
You want the chickenhead and scallywag if you don't want a serious relationship. This is f**king up the game by paying for something you dont have to pay for. When you do this these women expect every man from then on to do it. Initially they aren't looking to be tricked on but dudes keep doing it and doint it and they get used to it. The next thing you know they expect every man they deal with to do it. They expect a lot but ain't about much or trying to do anything.
@Cuzzo: I don't believe you…there's no way you can get me to believe that wiill substitute steak and mashed potatoes…lol…please tell me you're not serious.
@Cuzzo & Teacia
"I’ll be dammed if a portabella mushroom don’t taste like steak with some A1 sauce. mash up some steamed calliflower w/ a lil salt n pepper, i dunno if u can have butter or marg or even that fake shake on stuff, it will be like mashed potatoes."
Don't eat margarine its not good for you. Instead of margarine or butter you can use soy magarine or butter. It's a lot healthier. If you can't get the soy magarine or butter just use regular butter. Unsalted butter of course.
I don't know why all the men on this blog are so damn stingy with their coins…it's not that serious. You can't take the shit with you when you die and tomorrow isn't promised. If you're not spending your last on some random chic then there shouldn't be an issue. If you're the type who want to impress women with money, make sure you actually have some.
And again fellas, it's just a FEW damn dollars in the scenario yall keep painting…complain when i ask you to talk to the rent man and i'm just some random chic…otherwise shut that shit up!
@ Tea – with the right marinade and some imagination
– u have to be creative if you wanna do this thing right girl.
@ Humble – I still don't see it. lol, sorry. You don't want those women anyway. If one man spending money on this chick gets her to think that all men should be doing it, you don't want that woman anyway. walk on by my brother, walk on by.
…oh and i want all helpful recipes sent to missdee1012@hotmail.com…please and thank you.
I may add, T-pain is sayin it ain’t trickin if you got it too, in that new single “Can’t believe it”
love that song for some odd reason even tho its about a scripper
@Hugh: lol, so in response to your response to Jolie…actually I do see it as a form of hating…because the playing field is no longer even. He’s “f*cking up the game” if you will…I guess my issue is if they’re okay with it, and she’s okay with it…then why the hate? There’s someone for everyone. And like Jolie said, if a chic is willing to sell themselves short for a bottle and a booth, then that’s a whole other problem we need to address.
“Tricking” in its truest form does not lend itself to just a bottle and a booth…we’re talking mortgages, cars, vacations…there are different forms and different levels…my take on it(although i do not require such lavish gestures), get in where you fit in or keep it moving.
@Bree: I agree to some extent…but in the end it comes down to a failure to provide. A man’s job is to provide, and for whatever reason he is unable to…and it doesn’t always boil down to irresponsibility, some men just lack the earning potential and education to make a woman feel safe. These women leave, and the men feel like a failure. My point is that unfortunately money is a major factor in the success of a relationship and/or marriage. And in most cases, no matter how much love you have there, if you can’t provide then she’s out…not saying it’s right but it’s the society we NOW live in.
Now in reference to the “tricking” correlation I’m no longer talking about negroes in the club…I’m talking about men who you’re not married to, who you date on any level and are providing for you. Tricking down here doesn’t end at the bar. For example my homie got a Mercedes for Valentine’s Day…her and Tony aren’t married, but he put her up in that condo….hell half of the negroes I knew in Tampa had a chic laced up somewhere in some condo…now these men are tricks…but these chics were also loyal. How is it any different than if she was his wife?
Teacia: just as a warning, your body will not like going low carb at first. Just fight through the first week. You'll have to eat more meat, fish and vegetables than you are used to, but you will notice a difference in two weeks. You have to eat every 2-1/2 to three hours, if you are hungry in between then, load up on water.
@Hugh Jazz: I'm just wondering… what does your body do?
I'm asking because I started doing it last week (whenever we talked about eating healthy on here and you gave me tips) and this week, I've been walking around light headed and I can't put my finger on why. It's like I'm walking around in a fog…
@ Nicki – your body goes through Ketosis – which i can't explain but, your breath stinks and ure pee smells funny.
@Cuzzo: Why do women always say that? "You don't want no hoes … you don't want a chickenhead".
I can't speak for everyone, but I do. Not as a woman, and not all the time, and not when I'm committed to someone who completes me … but when I'm single and a lil thirsty … nothing like a good chickenhead to quench the thirst!
@Cuzzo: Oh CRAP! I haven't gotten that yet. Good LORD. I don't know if it's worth it. LOL.
Seriously, how long does that last?
@Teacia: "And again fellas, it’s just a FEW damn dollars in the scenario yall keep painting…complain when i ask you to talk to the rent man and i’m just some random chic…otherwise shut that shit up!" HAHAHAHAHA
I won't say a portabella mushroom is a good substitue for steak (though they ARE tasty), but I loves me some grilled tuna steak…I have a few recipes for tuna steaks ifn ya want…way to go on the eating healthy
i'mma leave the well-balanced traditional role talk alone cuz it seems no one (well actually just teacia and comeback) gets that the folks who want that don't think its going to be a cake walk and that it will be like that every day…life in general is not a cake walk for anyone
@ SBM – a hoe will sleep with you for a ride home … a chickenhead on the prospects – ie u pull up in a nice car and ure well-dressed – she thinks you got it – and she wants it. therefore you still have a chance – well, maybe not u.
"more mythical unicorns, without help of parents, nanny and or housekeeper…it didnt happen like this. Somebody @zz got left at girlscouts, piano practice, recitals, ballet. Cliff’s wang got dry sometimes. Claire fell asleep ridin’. it be’s like that"
funny stuff right here…
Bree: Can you email that recipe to latoya.proctor@yahoo.com please???? Thanks ma'am.
I finished my budget!!!!
@Cuzzo
"I still don’t see it. lol, sorry. You don’t want those women anyway. If one man spending money on this chick gets her to think that all men should be doing it, you don’t want that woman anyway. walk on by my brother, walk on by."
Some men want these women because they serve a purpose. If a man is single, not in a committed relationship and needs sex he wants a chickenhead. This is for average dudes. If you are an athlete, ghetto celebrity, or street hustler you can Dudes that don't trick are not trying to spend money on a chickenhead.
@ Nicki: LOL..sure…let me remember how i make it first, when i said "i have some recipes" it's really just me doin my thang and i LOOOVE tuna steaks.
@Cuzzo
“I still don’t see it. lol, sorry. You don’t want those women anyway. If one man spending money on this chick gets her to think that all men should be doing it, you don’t want that woman anyway. walk on by my brother, walk on by.”
Some men want these women because they serve a purpose. If a man is single, not in a committed relationship and needs sex he wants a chickenhead. This is for average dudes. If you are an athlete, ghetto celebrity, or street hustler you can get the better women without putting in work. Average udes that don’t trick are not trying to spend money on a chickenhead. No one is suppose to spend money on chickenheads because you dont have to to get what you want.
@Bree: I've never had tuna steaks and I'm reallllyy getting sick of marinading and baking chicken and chops. UGH.
Does anyone know how to season and make steamed vegetables taste like SOMETHING???? I am a very picky eater and it's killing me softly to have to eat all these veggies… it tastes so bland! (everything other than brocolli of course).
Thanks guys.
Here we go again with all these freaking comments…either way…congrats to SBM and the fam for making it happen. Greetings to newcomers and lurkers.
I hate this song by T.I. It sounds as though he trying to sing…or whinning one…
"Sexy, gorgeous, beautiful would ja do something real freaking tonight!"
Now, that's my ish!
@hugh:
are you a trainer? if so can you be mine? additionally you wanna be my nutritionist!?
@Neonna: LOL. that is my JAM! I love some T.I. Makes we want to dance real slow on a pole (oops, fantasy of mine… saving it for my KING! LOL)
@Nicki…maybe we should start a healthy eating blog…lol… a few ways to do it are 1. if you're going to use salt use Kosher salt b/c it sticks better so you use less and 2. after you've steamed it, shake it up in some fat free italian dressing or a light vinagerette dressing.
as for tuna steaks, you can pretty much do to them exactly what you'd do to a steak, they have the same texture and the added benefit of being naturally lean b/c its fish.
Nicki I brought some seasoning from the black expo and it has no msg in it and it can make any food taste like heaven. I will mail you some lol
@Breelicious
"the folks who want that don’t think its going to be a cake walk and that it will be like that every day…life in general is not a cake walk for anyone"
Why, why, why, why, can't more women understand this? I am not in a hurry to meet another grown woman thinking a relationship is suppose to operate like a fantasy.
@Bree: I think you are right. It is a struggle to stay on the eating right path and we all need eachother for support/tips/ and whatever. I don't have a blog yet and have no clue about even where to start on making one!!!!!
@Mikki: Ma'am. I need that express mailed.
@Nicki Sunshine
"Does anyone know how to season and make steamed vegetables taste like SOMETHING???? I am a very picky eater and it’s killing me softly to have to eat all these veggies… it tastes so bland! (everything other than brocolli of course)."
When you steam you can use lemon pepper seasoning, butter, or soy magarine. You can also use organic stir-fry sauce. Just make sure you check the sodium content.
Nicki: Most of the veggies I eat I just add a LITTLE lawry's or black pepper depending on what it is. You can add any seasoning you like really. I use parsely, basil, lemon pepper (mainly on my fish) it just depends try different seasonings and see what you like.
Does anyone eat Tofu, its a really great protein substitute for meat. Also lentils are really good, I love them with rice. I never had tuna steaks, do they look and taste the same?
@ Humble: What were you saying about portabella mushrooms? How do you cook them and with what?
@ Teacia: Are you totally cutting carbs? Is that healthy?
@ Hugh: How do you know all this stuff about food?
I am slowly catching up…lol
Somebody at work just made this bomb diggity salad and omg, I am going to try to replicate it tonight I swear on my life after i finish this salad and lasagna I will be 6 months from getting the ring lol.
@Humble: Thank you very much! I've got some of that seasoning and have no clue about what to use it with. I've also got stir fry sauce, but it's not organic, so I'm sure it's probably FULL of salt.
@Ms. Devereaux. Thank you. I'm gonna try the parsley and basil…. I have some of that and have only used it once in some white chicken chili. I have a lot of spices, I just don't use 'em!
"Somebody at work just made this bomb diggity salad and omg, I am going to try to replicate it tonight I swear on my life after i finish this salad and lasagna I will be 6 months from getting the ring lol."
@mik…go girl..but please learn how to cook other things, a man cannot live off of damn pasta with cheese made 900 different ways.
@Mikki: OKKK, high five. And once you get finished making that salad, I'm gonna need you to toss that recipe on over here, too.
@Ms. D…NEVER HAD TUNA STEAKS!! *gasp** I'm kidding, I've put a lot of people onto tuna steaks…they don't taste like steak…hell i wouldn't know actually, i haven't eaten beef in like six or seven years. I eat Tofu, sometimes, but usually with curry and broccoli…and I love lentil soup. But I've always eaten pretty healthy so…you start talking veggies and seafood and my mouth goes to watering.
Lemon pepper on veggies is grrrrreat! LOL
ok so no more power naps at the house during lunch…and one hour and 45 minutes later i'm back…lol.
@Bree: i understand girl…just not interested in it today much. and please shoot the email with your healthy vegetarian ass…you are still veggie aren't you?
@Hugh: thanks mister, i appreciate all of the tips…i don't know how much i will be assimilate but i'll try…lol.
@Ms. Dev: naw, i'm not. i'm just trying to bring it down a notch. my meals generally consists of meat of some kind, potatoes of some kind, rice of some kind, a veggie of some kind, bread of some kind. and this is EVERYDAY!! yeah gotta to do better.
lmao comeback I know!! I am gonna try not to kill us I promise. Seriously my co-worker brought me some food from his pot luck and it has some of the most yummy light and healthy dishes, someone made a pasta salade, and there was a potato salad only it tasted more like regular potatos but it was cold? can't explain it but it was good, then this salad had apples, cashews, and brocoli in it, and i think it was tosted in a vinegarette or something, im not sure if she is gonna send me the exact ingredience by the time i leave work but i will see what i can do, then some one brought some melon and omg i dont even like melon but it was so sweet n good.
bless my co worker for lookin out!!
@humble: I guess I am saying its HATING cause why would you care what the next nagga does in the club? Do you! if it works go ahead.. I really dont care..
I am avoiding clubs like the plague right now so it doesnt matter. I wont see you. I wont watch you bottle pop and you dont have to “buy me a drink” .. CAUSE I WONT BE THERE ..
I refuse to now .. get all cute, sweat out my hair.. etc just to meet someone that i probably wouldnt wanna be with ever in life cause they are either stupid, intimidated or ignorant.. CLUBS are DEADED for me.. Unless like someone said above I just wanna go and kick it and dance with my girls and dont mind the hair sweatedoutedness of it all…
I contradicted myself in this comment but uh .. oh well..
LOL @ Jolie…unfortunately it is so.
I had this conversation with a coworker yesterday morning. Men look for women who have less so they can be dominant is some way, be it financial or whatever. Hey like I said, I work for mine, but given the right circumstances I will STOP in a heartbeat….and that’s keeping it real…for real for real.
@FeFe – do you ever feel like either the guys from the north or the south are ahead of the curve? I can’t help but watch cats trick off on females (cars, bottles, rent, etc) and think that they could get exactly what theyre getting now for alot less money if only they had some guile and charm. IMO, its Southern cats who are the last ones to pick up on this.
- http://www.mrswagger.com
sometimes a nice gesture can be taking out of context – like that person is trying to prove something. Example – I have a friend who invited me to dinner, then at the last minute canceled because she lacked funds. I told her don’t worry about it – I got you. She proceded to tell me no, she didn’t want any favors. I was livid!
@jolie…i think humble or why so did a good job of explaining the difference between “spoiled” and “catered to” in last thursdays post.
ok, bree i so meant to put vegan…lol…i guess i'm still half sleep. i feel like i've lost a lot of energy since curtailing my eating…this shit is for the birds!
@Teacia – A-hem…i was not nor will i ever be a vegetarian! NEVER…i love seafood waaaay too much for that. I did, at one point, cut out all meats from my diet and only ate seafood, but that changed when my pockets started getting slimmer than i was and i had a child to feed every night…you just can do so much with chicken and it's so cheap! LOL. I usually go back to seafood when she's with her daddy for extended periods. I collect recipes and a good place to get some is http://www.kraftfoods.com and you can sign up for the free recipe mag they send out every season.
As for the tuna steak…rub it withs some olive oil, season it like you would a steak, marinate it in some worcheshire sauce, onions, and rosemary, then grill it…YUMMMMS…great with brocooli, asparagus, or my favorite grilled mushrooms! MMMM
ok I think all this talk of food is making me change my mind about dinner tonight. So what about this…
salad n homeade mashed potatos with some grilled salmon???
@Teacia: me? a vegan? do you know how much cheese I eat! LAWD girl, first you call me a vegetarian then a vegan…i thought you liked me! LMBO….cut out cheese, dairy, eggs, and all white powders? not something I'd ever do.
@Teacia
"ok so no more power naps at the house during lunch…and one hour and 45 minutes later i’m back…lol."
Is your job hiring? Do they need any engineers?
someone please school me on the fine art of cooking
hot pockets are not ftw.
@ Bree: Girl, you have turned me on to something new. I am going to try that out next week. I will let you know how it goes. I was raised vegetarian, but started eating meat about 12yrs ago. Now I am trying to get back to my old ways. I need to learn to eat more salads. My friend eats raw 6days a week, and she loves it. I do want to do that now, but I would like to do 50% raw food in my diet.
@ Nicki: I love spices, I just play around with it since its usually just me eating it.
@ Teacia: Damn, yeah thats alot of carbs!
Damn Bree…my bad…double bad…lol.
Humble I work for the State, they're always hiring…but it's a state college, so that means double relaxed around here, but so is the pay…you don't want it…lol.
Ms. Dev, yes mam…errrrday all day!!
Nicki: “I’m asking because I started doing it last week (whenever we talked about eating healthy on here and you gave me tips) and this week, I’ve been walking around light headed and I can’t put my finger on why. It’s like I’m walking around in a fog…”
Sorry, had to leave the office for a couple of hours.
Your body isn’t used to not having carbs and it wants those carbs back. It’s not good to go too low on carbs for too long because your brain operates almost primarily on carbs to function. That is why you feel light-headed and a lot of people get crabby when they go low carb. The important thing is to make sure your calories aren’t too low, which balances that feeling out. That is why the healthy fats are so crucial; they are calorie dense so you don’t have to eat a lot of them to meet your caloric needs and give you energy.
Also, most spices are fine. Lemon pepper works well on most meats and veggies. Just stay away from excess salt because it makes you retain water.
I really need to start a fitness blog so I don’t have to hijack SBM’s.
Jolie: “@hugh: are you a trainer? if so can you be mine? additionally you wanna be my nutritionist!?”
Part-time personal trainer. In fact, I have to work at the Y tonight when I leave the office. But structural engineering pays a lot better, so I’ll keep my day job.
But I can certainly give you advice. E-mail me at jamiwa3@hotmail.com. I'm sure SBM wants his blog back!
Anytime you want to, pick up the telephone, you
know it ain't nothin', drop a couple stacks on you
Want it, you can get it, my dear
Five million dollar homes, drop Bentleys, I swear, yeah
I want yo' body [body], need yo' body [body]
Long as you got me, you won't need nobody
You want it, I got it, go get it, I buy it
Tell them other broke niggas be quiet [hey!]
ey, ey, ey, ey….you can whateva you liiiike, you like…hey you can have whateva you like.
lol….yep that's my shit!!!
Awww…you guys had such a good time today. I have had excellent fun watching the dynamics from my little cubbie hole and like T usually does I took a midafternoon nap during Dr. Cook's lecture. It was SO lovely. Anyways, now it's off to well…I'm not sure as I look like a zombie.
Hmmm…going to take some of these cooking ideas and maybe a trip to the gym tomorrow too!
@Hugh: a lot of great advice you gave today mister…it is much appreciated…and don't worry SBM is ALWAYS sharing his blog with our asses for one reason or another.
…..ummmm, did you say personal trainer…does that mean you all cut up and thangs. *ahem* yeah so right, no carbs not a good look, gotcha.
Hey Jackie sweetie…how's work?!?! I know you hated having to get back to the real world, but they couldn't keep the NOLA shut down forever now could they…lol.
We missed you today miss lady!!
@Teacia
"Long as you got me, you won’t need nobody
You want it, I got it, go get it, I buy it
Tell them other broke niggas be quiet [hey!] "
sickening just sickening.
@hugh: Thank you! I will be emailing!
@teacia: your a mess (in a good way) … all cut up .. I was thinking it ..just didnt say it.
a-hem…i think he said he's a "cut-up and thangs" structural engineer…did it just get hot in my cubicle? LAWDY
@hugh: I guess I shoulda asked where you were located? I need a trainer. and I pay.. lol
@Teacia-Girl I have said some very, very ugly things down here today, went to lunch with a "friend", fell asleep at the table and found out that I make people feel like they have to act perfect around me all the time.
I'm learning something new about myself every freaking today.
AND I am learning that if a hurricane is hitting FIVE hours away you can be under Tropical Storm Warning! Yay for my first two days back in NoLa.
Oooooh does that means he builds shit with his hands and thangs *squirming in my chair*….CLEAN UP ON AISLE 4!!
@bree: it went from alaska to arizona in my office.. yes it did..
@teacia: i see your link went back up .. lol… fresh fresh fresh
@Teacia-Bad, bad girl. Geez. That's why I love you.
@Jolie-LMFAO, you're too funny.
I'm thinking I'm a tad bit sleepy and a tad bit exasperated…..I don't quite feel like myself today.
ROTFLOL @ Jolie: I'm at a different computer…errrrr, ummmm I didn't even realize it…thanks chica…but ummm yeah, my man reads this site(lol…i know, i know) and will strangle my ass for real for real. I'm a mess but I ain't stooopid.
Humble: Awww you want some tums for that stomach ache…."Long as you got me, you won’t need nobody
You want it, I got it, go get it, I buy it."
Now you see how that statement can mean something totally positive…lol.
@teacia: I as just being an arss.. it happens late day …I sorry.. lol
Jolie: I'm in Milwaukee.
But I'm an engineer, how cut up can I be? (joking)
@hugh: midwest..*sigh*
ok .. on to the gym I go .. got all hot and bothered for nothing ..
I've met plenty of cut up engineers….
they build machines that let them work and workout similtaneously .. hahahaha I am too much today..
WISCONSIN!! Wait wait wait…Hugh are you black?!?! Cause we all know there ain't no black folk in Wisconsin!
Jolie it's cool, you ain't have to call me out like that though….he he he.
@teacia: I'm mad you just asked if he was black…lol.. Milwaukee is 39.5% african american
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milwaukee,_Wisconsin…
Hi guys! I was on vacation/have been swamped at work since I got back. I just wanted to stop in and see what ya'll been up to (cutting up as usual I see – hehehe). Hopefully I'll be able to talk more tomorrow/next week.
Heeeey Daisy…welcome back girl!!!
Jolie…ok so you learn something new errday. This of course sparked my Wiki-interest in Jacksonville…and uhhh SBM I don't want to hear shat else about Jacksonville being a small city when apparently it's the 3 most populated on the EAST COAST nagga!!!
And we're the third cleanest city in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!! Woooo Hoooo!! I ain't NEVA leaving!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacksonville,_FL
It's funny, I went with a friend of mine to visit a female friend in West Virginia (and her friend, of course). She was shocked there was black people in Milwaukee. I said, "there's black people in West Virigina and you're surprised that there are black folks in Wisconsin?" This isn't some hick town, Milwaukee is about the size of Boston!
But I'll admit ladies, if you want to meet some of the laziest, non-working-est, nothing-going-for-themselves-est black men in the country, visit Milwaukee. Birthplace of Eric Benet, the idiot that cheated on Halle freaking Berry!
@SBM(although the negro hasn't commented but i feel he needs to know since he's always shatting on my city):
"Jacksonville has suffered less damage from hurricanes than most other east coast cities. The city has only received one direct hit from a hurricane since 1871."
I keep telling you that we don't get hit down here, it rolls right past us…we're due for that 100 year storm though. *knocking on wood*
@Hugh: So I guess that means that you're Black then…carry on my friend.
I can second what Hugh Jazz just said…. My ex was from Milwaukee!!!!!!! But I will say that I do know a few guys from the Mil who are about they business….
@ Hugh Jazz…. Do you like to wear bright colors? I can always tell a guy from Milwaukee because they love their colorful ensembles……. I hate to be stereotypical but my ex's whole crew would be walking around looking like a bag of pastel skittles…..It would be Polo but they never wore the basic colors…. They were always sooo extra!!! Lol
@teacia .. I'm gonna slide on you stealing my words .. NAGGA .. SHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
with love,
Jolie
"@ Hugh Jazz…. Do you like to wear bright colors? I can always tell a guy from Milwaukee because they love their colorful ensembles……. "
im dying 80's…this is true though for real yall. Detroit men like alot of "vibrancy"in their "outfits" too. its a geographic thing.
Yes mam I stole "naggas" from you and I loves it, danku danku…however I have to give stealing credit to Mikki for "shat"…got that one from her…lol.
Comeback I don't think so, it's not just geographic…if there was anyone who rocked the pastel pinks and baby blue with the plaid shorts it started down here aaaaages ago. Men down here don't EVER wear regular neutral colors…they are skittled out from head to toe.
I used to have a thing for guys who dressed like that when I was younger(thank God for growth), although I do love me some pink on a man, especially my darker brothas…LOVES IT!!
I have to confess. I like men in muted color. Like tailored shirts and ties, pocket squares. Thats where men SHOULD experiment. But if I see purple shoes ANYwhere. Im gone.
i know this is retarded but I think it is so fly when men coordinate TASTEFULLY with their woman like to church. If she has on a blue dress and he has a similiar blue wide tie…that is so hot.
LOL @ Comeback…move i'm right behind you!
and dont let the little kid have on some blue too. AW!!!!!!!!!!!!! let the church say amen.
but if they at the mall matchy matchy….im sick.
*singing in slow hymn* "errrybody saaay Aaaaaamen, errybody say Aaaaamen, aaaaaamen, aaaaamen."
…now why was i actually singing this out loud…lol.
I need to read all the comments. Why so wants a cooking demo???? they don't have those in detroit???
@ comeback it must be a geographic thing because Detroit men are extra too!!!!!
So I guess we can say that majority of the men from the midwest are EXTRA!!!!! It's hard to explain but it's not like they're intentionally trying to stand out they just do….. With my ex he could walk into a room and not say anything but yet he would still draw attention because there was just something about him. Whether it was his pastel ensemble (from head to toe) or the glasses he wore he would just stand out!!!!
But that's the same with a lot of men from the midwest, it's like after they say where they're from a light bulb goes off in my head like oh he do look like he from the mil, or he look like he from da natti, or he look like he from detroit…. A lot of men from the midwest just have that tendency to stand out….. I just haven't learned whether it's a good thing or not though….
@ ms dev and teacia…im not hearing much about the black man day. Its next week i feel like we need to be preparing.
@ jolie #56 was classic. I can't believe I missed that.
Where's Tiffany in Houston….has anyone heard from her?!?! My doors are open and air mattress inflated for any of my blog family who needs shelter during the storm(pending criminal background check of course).
@80s yeah I think they feel left out or something, but I remember like 10 years ago a whole brigade of detroit men were at this ihop one night and they had sequence and sheer shirts. yellow, red, satin, oh my. It was just CRAZZZY.
I sent Steve Harvey and Tom Joyner an email…hopefully they will get to it in time. I also posted a blog on my Myspace and a note on my Facebook accounts…I've also sent out emails. I quess I can send an email to the local radio stations to get the word out further, but I'm doing my part.
Ladies?
@ jolie…is that lavender. That would be hot on a nice tie OR a nice cuffed tailored shirt. but he is doing too much.
@ teacia…im so last minute..Imma get to it though
@comeback: how did you know that was his nickname! lol
I would be like :"hey, fefe how's lav?" .. "you going out with lavendar?"
LOL @ JOLIE!!! Nah he sexy nah….but ummm yeaaah, the lavender is all a bit much. I can't believe he had THIS on when she met him. FeFe is soooo going to kill you for that one…lol.
he's from dc??? i can't claim that.
He is from Maryland. Yes he was sexy.. It was one of our random nights of trollying for kicks.. He walked in and I said GAT DAMN! cause I could only see his top half .. he came around and had on lavendar from top to bottom.. even his socks! lol………..
@ Comeback: I was just thinking about Black Men Day this morning. I was thinking if we could get everyone to post it on their blogs on that day would be great!
I also emailed it out, and posted in on my facebook.
I have some other ideas, but I have to finish studying for my class. I will hit Teacia up later tonite.
Any other ideas from anyone about black men day?
There's no other way to put it than, this man was extra!!!!
Now I'm gonna go ahead and give the Midwest men some slack and say even though they too can be extra, they don't go overboard. For the most part they are going to be bright but they're not going to go to the extreme like this guy did….
I have an idea, everyone email your local radio station and the surrounding stations….it will only take about 15 minutes. I just finished emailing them…and since most of the stations are Black I'm sure they may mention it. Here's the post if you guys need it again:
Our Foundation:Black Men's Appreciation Day!
It's a time for change, a time for appreciation, a time for admiration and respect, and what better way to embrace this time than to appreciate the hands we stand on…our black men.
We need our black men. They are the hands we stand on. The next time you see a black man — city, suburb, or country, — SMILE and say hello. The next time a brother opens the door for you, SMILE and say thank you. If you are close enough, SMILE and ask "how are you doing today?" If a black man is living in your home and he gets up everyday and goes to face a world that doesn't really want him there, when he comes home, let him know that you appreciate him.
This message has inspired the ladies of http://www.singleblackmale.org to start a movement of love and change.
Black Men Appreciation Day is about saying thank you, smiling, giving a gift, positive affirmation, hugs, kisses, or even saying "I admire you" or "I'm proud of you" or whatever you can think of to show appreciation to the black men you encounter.
On September 17, 2008 we will stand up and stand together in admiration and appreciation of our black men. They are not only our hands but also our foundation, and without this foundation our house will surely crumble. Remember, it only takes one person to start a movement…one person to initiate a change. Imagine the difference a multitude will make. Our black men deserve this, we deserve this. What good is a house without a strong foundation? Let's strengthen our foundation. Together we will make a difference.
Spread the word, spread the love…September 17th is now officially Black Men's Appreciation Day!
Why I leave for a few hours and yall talkin bout skittle men in Detroit just why……
Anywhoot I emailed the local radio stations here (lansing & detroit) about black men appreciation day (bmad).
So my plans to make a lavish dinner fell through, I get a phone call sayin he wants to have his Islamic friends over for some type of shin dig and lawd knows I am not trying to be converted I love the father the son and the holy gost!! anyways I just left him a cute little card that talks with some money in it, and a stuffed toy kitty (my cat was there with me) so I thought it would be funny to leave the stuffed toy inside his bedroom door to look as tho it was my cat so when he opens it he will think its real but then laugh when he finds its a toy and the card layin next to it.
I really like this guy and I hope he likes me too…….
*sigh*
I feel like im 12 years old writing this such a mushy mush
wow @ Kayne getting arrested, all i could think of when i saw the video was yah nigga yah!!! get out ma face get out my face!!!
(im retarded I know)
ok carry on…..
um…i have a story about an "extra" dude from Detroit…one of my boys from Detroit tried out for my modeling troupe in college…his outfit of choice was (this is not an exaggeration): an electric blue rayon shirt, electric blue ie, electric blue slacks, electric blue socks, and electric blue gators…he also had brown contacts and an s-curl….yeeeaahhh, my eyes are still burning from that one.
Mikki the card and stuffed toy was a good look…i'm sure it he'll love it…not to mention that everytime he sees the toy he'll think of you.
Bree PLEEEEASE tell me you're talking about Ryan ole gay azz…lol. I thought his tail was sooo gay, I think he's an aspiring rapper now or something…go figure. He comes from all that damn money and still don't know how to act…lol…the contacts and s-curl is what made me think of him. He thought he was the shit and was mad that I wasn't feeling his rooty tooty fresh and fruity azz…lol…in his case money ain't NEVA enough…lol.
Heeeey there's a Presidential Forum going on right now with John McCain and Barack Obama…man I'm slippin on my poli-sci pimpin!!
80's Baby: "@ Hugh Jazz…. Do you like to wear bright colors? I can always tell a guy from Milwaukee because they love their colorful ensembles……. I hate to be stereotypical but my ex’s whole crew would be walking around looking like a bag of pastel skittles"
Bright colors really isn't my thing, unless its a dress shirt and I have a nice tie and a suit jacket of a muted color to go with it. Although I am partial to my orange Nike T-shirt…
Now you've given me a complex. I'm going to start dressing in all black, Goth style.
@Teacia…HHAHAHAAH…I KNEW YOU'D KNOW WHO I WAS TALKING ABOUT…girl, you know he thought that ish was fly!
re: presidential forum…why was my daughter the one who ran upstairs to tell me McCain and Obama were on tv…YOU slippin? My five year old is on it more than me…lol.
YAY!!!! I just got an official offer from West Work at Home customer service!!! I applied for this like three months ago!! ONE TIME FOR THE ADDITIONAL INCOME STREAM…time to get ready for Christmas!! LOL
@Hugh Jazz I'm sorry I didn't mean to give you a complex….. But the guys from Milwaukee jst stood out due to their attire. But I'm pretty sure you've seen what I'm talking about in your city….. LOL
@ Bree…. Congrats on the job offer…..
Gotta wash my hair, girls night out friday we fixin ta hit the club!!
funny thing is last time we went out WE brought eachother drinks, ah i love my friends…….
Teacia, I hope so gurl I was kinda happy I didn't have to scrach it up in the kitchen cuz I shooooooo aint know what i was gone be doin lol.
@80s…thanks girl…i'm not really sure how i intend to do this job since i have a full-time professional career, but i plan to use the money to create another income stream so…i'm sure i can figure it out…i'll work after i put the kid to bed and while i watch scrubs reruns…lol…ON TO WEALTH!! I ain't scerred of hard work
why am i having dejavu?
@Bree yeah you will figure it out…. I've been saying I wanted to get me a 2nd job because in March I got a car and this is my first time having a car payment… And I'm not liking this at all…. I'm used to putting that money that I'm spending on this car in a savings account… So I'm trying to find me something just to really help me pay off this car quicker than expected…… Because I can't get used to this….
I'm right with you… On to wealth!!!
@80s…OMG…I just bought my first car note last month too! Every car I've ever had was paid for outright…and I'm so not in the mood to give someone money every month to drive my car! Trust and believe I'll figure it out. I'm buying a house in December, starting a business in January, and my mother and I are planning (i.e. paying for) our family reuniong this Thanksgiving…so I could use all the extra dough I can get…shyt Im gonna go back to selling Coach bags on ebay as soon as consumer spending heads back in the right direction!
um, am I the only one bored to tears watching this forum? I feel bad for feeling that way and am trying to make myself watch it anyway…dammit me and my political conscience.
I hope you guys do find ways to bring in more money, I need to do the same since my second job will be cutting back on hours. I need to be motivated and get to using my real estate license and sell some stuff!
@Bree Also congrats on the upcoming endeavors….. I would love to buy a house right now because of the market and because renting is for the birds…. But I'm only temporarily here in KY so I'm stuck renting. But as soon as I can find another job I'm moving out of this state and hopefully into a house…..
@ Mikki…. I also need to get motivated about finding me a 2nd job… LOL
Bree…hit me on email with the link, your girl needs a second job like this new growth needs a perm!!!
Mikki…yeah it was definitely a nice gesture and it shows that you appreciate him enough to compensate him to some extent.
@mikki…that was really thoughtful and cute…
@teacia…i'll forget to email it to you so do a search for west home services, it takes months for them to get back to you, i applied back in july i think
I did the search, just finished the app…and that's cool, it'll come right on time I'm sure.
If you wanna good laugh. .check out fefe’s boo from last year:
http://blackfemmefatale.wordpress.com/2008/07/23/boredom-goggles/
she is gonna kill me … .ahahahahahah dont tell on me…
talk about matchy matchy …
Ok I have to make a comment about the bright colors. The country boys here wear the bright suits. Cats will clown you for wearing it. The wide pinstripes, bright colors, and long suit jackets are not considered cool. Depending on who you meet you can get a different view of Detroit. I got friends you would swear are not from Detroit. There has been times I've gone out of town with my boys and people have thought some of them were from the south.
for some reason i decided to check my comments from last week… JOLIE!!!!! Ur sucha batch i swear… yes ya'll he was wearing that when i met him. It started as a joke, then I fell for him and hid that lavender in the back of his closet. lol. He sure did pull it out for a wedding this past summer tho, good thing i wasnt his date.
LOL…that negro is so fuine he could have come dressed up at Big Bird and woulda had my ass drooling…lol.
just checked out mr swagger….u're no twinnie of his….