******** Admin Note ********
New Poll. Dating Coworkers … yes or no?
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In my relatively short time on this earth … I have been to many clubs in their various forms.
I have pushed my way through crowds at mega clubs.
I have gotten drunk off of cheap drinks at bars.
I have sat and talked at lounges.
I have danced until my back was sore at college clubs.
I have done a lot.
And there is something I’ve always noticed. Something that rarely changes across the years, different states, different cities, music styles, or special events … and that is the “formations” employed by the sexes.
Most people go to the club (or its various offsprings) in groups. There are many benefits to having a group. The ability to collectively stomp out peacefully talk things out with an individual with a bad attitude comes to mind. As a result, there needs to be a “game plan” for the collective.
Women … you all come together. Whether dancing in a circle, all sitting down at the same couch, or just taking up too much space as a collective around the bar … women stay together.
This formation is found throughout nature. There are deer, buffalo, wilder beasts, and antelopes … you know … prey.
Men … on the other hand … we divide and conquer. We know we are with others and recognize the support network we are with … but we must divide and conquer. We are each our own hunter … and we will spread out with our own agendas … periodically bunching up for status updates.
In nature we are reminded of tigers, crocodiles, jaguars … and a bunch of other predators.
I think women and groups is about the safety in numbers. It’s also another reason that my friends and I hate approaching the “herd”. Circles of girls in the club are a no no. You eye them … spot the acceptable ones … and then catch them when their alone (ideally) … just like a lion tracking it’s prey.
We on the other hand need to maximize the kills. If we approached women in groups, then each group would have to be the same size or bigger than ours. Plus … we don’t care about the “anchor” (the ugly guy or guy without game) in the group and we don’t want him to hold us down. Survival of the fittest!
A long time ago I talked about The Club Mentality … and this is just another example of it.
No big life lessons here … but interesting as hell when you think about it …
When I go to a club, I relatively stay on the dance floor with minimal breaks. Either I'm dancing with myself, friends, or a guy- at the end of the night, I want to say that I was able to enjoy myself. The only time I make my way over to the bar is to get some water. Other than that, I just enjoy dancing. Guys trying to spit game will be wasting his breath because, I do not give out my number at clubs. Nothing against the guy, it's just something I do not do due to the club mentality.
Women in groups is a survival technique. You need someone to whom you can scream "help me!!" with your eyes when some guy has you hemmed up in a corner or has unilaterally decided to run up on your azz and blow on your neck and shoulders while attempting to inconspicuously GROPE your hips (yes, that is an oxymoron…. guys, you ain't slick). I usually roll solo, or else just with 1 other person, so I'm always exposed.
Let me ask the guys this…. what is the nicest way to tell a guy to back off? I think the group may help a guy save face a little because he can read the expression of pity on my friend's face in front of me since she can see me rolling my eyes in disgust and you can't. Turning around and point blank saying "Excuse me, what's with all the touching?" is another technique I use.
I'm like YoungBelize…I spend most of my time on the dance floor…but for me, I'm not always at the club with a group of girls, sometimes I meet my guy friends out at the club and I actually walk around and mingle alot. And when I am there with my girls, we usually like to dance with almost anyone around us…I'm not trying to marry any dude in the club, just wanna have fun. but interesting assessment.
P.S. Guys, my birthday weekend was SOOOO MUCH FUN!! I'm actually looking forward to my week of productive working. See you guys later in the afternoon
I stay off the dance floor and prepare to dance in an uncrowded area… I hate the dance floor because of the grinding syndrome and stale beer breath I've become a victim of many times.
I'm never with a large herd of women, the most is probably four… if a man is intimdated by that, I can't help him.
I think the main problem with the herd is the dynamic of a group of women in general, i.e. there is always one hater. A guy can be perfect for you and before he gets a chance to walk up, your hater azz friend is gonna bash him. Guys play tricks because women make it that hard to just say hello. I'm originally from the North East (NJ) and women are ruthless up there. Blatantly, they will wreck you in public if your approach them. So attack on brothers, the hunt continues.
-JM
MrSwagger.com
I only go to a club these days if someone's celebratng a birthday or job promotion. Most of these instances it's a group of people (male and female) so I haven't really paid close attention to the herding the last few times I've gone. When going in a party setting, it seems there's always one guy who tends to gravitate my way and we end up hanging out—dancing, shooting the breeze and maybe even exchanging numbers.
Off Topic-My blog is nominated as Professional Blog of the Year so if you get a chance, go cast your vote. http://sheliagoss.com/2008/09/29/nominated-for-pr…
Shelia I voted!!!!
It could be an age thing. But some men look at a club as a theme park. I really didn't know that much strategy was going on "divide and conquer" to get a number/dance etc. My goal when going to a club is to escape the ho hum. To kick it wit my homies. To listen to great live music. In the last 5 years, it hasn't been about meeting my next boyfriend. I have NEVER (wait i did once, scracth that)….4 years ago I did meet a man in a club that I dated seriously, but it wasn't expected and i wasn't lookin for it.
Thanks ComebackGirl.
I don't go to the club looking either however, this subject brings to mind one exception I personally experienced. My ex-fiance & I met on a new year's eve/but he'll say new year's day at a club(we partied our butts off that night and ended up keeping in contact and our friendship developed into a long relationship that lasted several years).
@YBL & Bree: Your the type of women I like in the club … one's actually trying to dance.
@Comeback: Whats wrong with a Theme Park?
@Nicki: Just go out there and dance … you might just like it.
@Sheila: I voted … good luck.
@Anes: That turning around and saying that might get you in a fight. Best way is to make some excuse about being tired.
I go the club for one reason and one reason only: to dance 'til I'm sore. I occasionally head back to my "herd" (which isn't usually large) for idle "Did you see that pimp fool doing the Moonwalk" convo, but 90% or more of the time is spent sweatin' and gyratin'. I LOVE to dance so the club is like my heaven…no, scratch that because there are several "hell" tendencies at the club, for sure.
Good Morning Folks,
Well, I had me a good @ss time during my overnight stay in Atlantic City this weekend. We (me and 2 friends) went to the 40/40 club out there. I can't say that I noticed many guys in groups. There was one group (of men) in particular that did the group-to-group approach. A few brave souls approaced me to dance. And I did give out my number – y when I put my number in this guy's phone did he have a photo of an two ppl having sex as the screensaver? Wow. I hope that was a download and not an actual pic of him and some poor unsuspecting (or suspecting) woman.
@SBM – if you happen to have any friends that look like Reggie Bush – hook it up.
So, I accidentally clicked yes instead of no for your poll … oops.
I never knew about the "anchor" but it makes a lot of sense … can't they just get paired with the anchor in the ladies' group?
and…if you wanna sit down all night or dance by yourself…stay your @ss home. It's not even dancing anymore – when did grinding and fully-clothed sex become dancing? I like to dance but I don't wanna be grindin' with some dude in a corner all night like some stripper.
Dudes have a better chance if they come to the club by themselves and are trying to take someone home. Can't be having the woman all in the backseat with you and your buddies – not a good look. So, divide and conquer is a must.
Females have an "anchor" too sometimes. She makes you look 10x better
Thanks SBM!
Teacia thanks for the vote!
15 commments and its NOON! WTF? what happened here? everyone get a divorce..
Good Afternoon Everyone,
Damn slow day today.
@Cuzzo
" Can’t be having the woman all in the backseat with you and your buddies "
Cats still do this?
@Comeback
" My goal when going to a club is to escape the ho hum. To kick it wit my homies. To listen to great live music"
This is the same reason I go.
@jolie
"15 commments and its NOON! WTF? what happened here? everyone get a divorce.."
I am surprised myself. I think the other women may not be in the celibacy club.
@Humble: I'm still in the club hon. Me and the guy slept in the same bed and everything. I'm very proud. NOTHING happened.
@Nicki Sunshine
"I’m still in the club hon. Me and the guy slept in the same bed and everything. I’m very proud. NOTHING happened."
Wow, really? Depending on what you wore and how close you were you might be a zen master at celibacy.
@Cuzzo
"Females have an “anchor” too sometimes. She makes you look 10x better "
So this is true? I always wondered if this was myth or fact.
Hi guys,
I've been lurking all day…Umm….so my friends and I me and three others will go out and we depart and make rounds when necessary. We always have good luck out.
Umm Cuzzo…where you at?
@humble: all I wore were boy shorts and a cami… believe me, I think I'm a master. LOL
@Nicki – *applauds* did he know u weren't trying to do anything? did he try? but c'mon now boy shorts, really though – did ya have to wear that? that would send a mixed message – I don't wanna sleep with u just wanna get in the same bed with you with just my underwear
@Jac – Yo! What's this good luck you speak of?
"@Cuzzo
” Can’t be having the woman all in the backseat with you and your buddies ” Cats still do this?"
@Humble: Not that I know of and it's never happened to me. I was just saying it's not a good look.
"@Cuzzo
“Females have an “anchor” too sometimes. She makes you look 10x better ”
So this is true? I always wondered if this was myth or fact."
The female anchor is not on purpose. Some of us just have lesser attractive friends. Can't just leave them out because of it.
@Cuzzo: I'm cracking up. Girl, he claimed he didn't want to have sex either. Thanks
My cousin kept trying to get me to get some big pajamas but I don't sleep that way at home so it would have been a waste!
Once I got there, I really didn't feel inclined… I really felt like he was my "boy," so sleeping half naked really didn't bother me, you know what I mean?
And this fool slept curled up on the other side of the bed with his back to me, like I was gonna take his stuff. STUPID!
@Nicki Sunshine
" all I wore were boy shorts and a cami… believe me, I think I’m a master. LOL"
I don't know how you look but depending on the woman boy shorts will close the deal. I think you are a master.
@Cuzzo
If you have lesser attractive friends do you try to make sure they win when you do.
@Humble: LOL. I'm not too hard on the eyes… not too hard at all.
"If you have lesser attractive friends do you try to make sure they win when you do."
@Humble – win what? what is anyone winning at the club – a number? a drink? a ride home? breakfast? I've never asked anyone hey, can you buy my friend a drink too? And if we came together – we rolling out together. Any friend I party with is somewhat attractive (but beauty is still in the eye…) but with that, they may just not want to be bothered and not want to dance therefore literally an anchor just holdin your @ass back. You will see her in the club holding the purses. Go ahead and talk to her – she won't bite.
@Nicki Sunshine
"And this fool slept curled up on the other side of the bed with his back to me, like I was gonna take his stuff"
I slept like that with a few women and they thought it was hilarious.
"LOL. I’m not too hard on the eyes… not too hard at all."
If you say so. For most of us women in boy shorts is kryptonite. Especially if she is thick. Most dudes crumble at that.
@Humble: That was probably it.. I'm not thick! LOL. GOD didn't give me bum and huge boobs… Although I do have nice legs… I don't know what the issue was… He even slept on top of the covers…
Had me thinking I was ugly… hell I know I smelled good. LOL. I always take a fresh shower before getting in the bed.
But I know he was trying to be celibate too…. I dunno.
@Cuzzo – what a meant by win is that if you meet a guy see if he has any friends for her. Thats what men do sometimes.
"If you say so. For most of us women in boy shorts is kryptonite. "
@Humble – the way dude was curled up, maybe he got in bed before her and pretended to be asleep so he wouldn't have to see.
"what a meant by win is that if you meet a guy see if he has any friends for her. Thats what men do sometimes."
@Humble – oh, nah. Every man (or woman) for themself. How awkward would that be talking to someone who really doesn't want to talk to you?
@Cuzzo
" oh, nah. Every man (or woman) for themself. How awkward would that be talking to someone who really doesn’t want to talk to you?"
Men do it all the time. It's called being a wingman or taking one for the team.
@Nicki Sunshine
"He even slept on top of the covers…"
lol. I've done that too.
@Cuzzo: Didn't he do that? LOL. I don't think he ever saw me in them. He has a roommate so I walked around the house in a robe.
@Humble: :@Nicki Sunshine
“He even slept on top of the covers…”
lol. I’ve done that too."
I was confrused as hell. (yes confrused).
Nicki: Hit it! I mean ey…it's easy at this point
"Had me thinking I was ugly"
@Nicki – child please. do not let that or any man validate you because he does or does not want to have sex with you. SBM posted something before about dude wanting to holla does no mean you look good. And the same can be said of the opposite. Just because he wasn't all over you, doesn't mean you don't look good. He's an ex, he must have been attracted to you at some point, right?
See, this is where we confuse men. When they are groping at us, we don't like it. When they're just chilling – we're like, are u gay? lol For me there is just something that draws me in to a guy that acts all blase as if he didn't notice the fabulousness that is moi.
nicki…
If you wore boyshorts to bed, and I was in the same bed, there is NO way you'd survive through the night without getting the super-supreme. muahahahaa
Boyshorts tap into a primordial DNA code that tells me to procreate. Or at least practice at it lol. I'm even bold enough to say boyshorts>thongs.
At any rate, I'm finding that I'm a lone wolf. I go to clubs, concerts, out to eat, etc by myself. And I love it. No calling dibs, no rules, no obligation to anyone. If I see a girl I want in a group, I march right over to the group and *bam* There's no other way to do it.
Umm..Cuzzo luck of having a man always in our back pockets.
Humble-I just think you're funny…
Man…I need a French 75
@Cuzzo
"See, this is where we confuse men. When they are groping at us, we don’t like it. When they’re just chilling – we’re like, are u gay? lol For me there is just something that draws me in to a guy that acts all blase as if he didn’t notice the fabulousness that is moi."
I not confused by it. She could be built like deelishis and look like Lanisha Cole. If I dont want to I dont want to. What kills me is that women can say yes or no with ease. But if a man does it then there is something wrong with him.
@Cuzzo: That's the truth! I was confused because he didn't give one compliment. Dang, can I get, a you look pretty, SOMETHING? I put effort into this thang. LOL.
That's ok… we're cool and I didn't have any butterflies from him, so he probably felt the same thing. The ex in B-More has plenty of compliments though… Now he, HE gives me butterflies STILL.
Whyso:I approached a guy in a club that was a lone wolf. It was so pleasant! He was very nice.
Dying @ your DNA telling you to procreate….I wonder if it's like this for all men…
***shopping for boyshorts***
@Everybody: Do you look out for your friend? Let's say oh, he or she has bad breath?
I'm tying this into this topic because when I was at the club, I was dancing with a dude who was with a friend (they weren't like side by side but I knew they were together) and homeboy's breath was THE WORST. Why his man couldn't tell him, yo dog, u might wanna pop a stick of gum right quick? I've been politely offered gum a time or two by a friend after a guiness stout (that beer will have ure breath kickin).
@Why So: I completely co-sign on the love of women in boy shorts.
@Nicki: Your evil for sleeping in a bed with a man with those on and not allowing anything to occur. Just evil!
@whyso: "If you wore boyshorts to bed, and I was in the same bed, there is NO way you’d survive through the night without getting the super-supreme. muahahahaa"
LOL. Now some guys I know better than to do that with. I couldn't even go to bed with B-More or it would be over… hell, he was trying me on the layover. Talking about you shouldn't have came so sexy. LOL. Dude, I had on pants and a sleevless shirt with a wife beater underneath. What the hell is sexy about that? I was cracking up. Must. Stay. Celibate.
@why so serious
"Boyshorts tap into a primordial DNA code that tells me to procreate. Or at least practice at it lol. I’m even bold enough to say boyshorts>thongs"
Boyshorts are 1000x better than thongs. The hip to waist ratio and cheeks bangin out the back of the shorts makes you lose it. I would like to thank whoever created those shorts. The deserve a medal of honor. These are like the number shorts for black women. lol
@Cuzzo – You drink guiness? I will marry you right now.
@Cuzzo: LOL. I wouldn't tell them in a harsh way, but more so in a hey, would you like a mint kinda way. Friends don't let friends breath stink. LOL
@SBM: What's worse is that I felt comfortable doing it. LOL. He never even looked.
@Humble: ANd I think the boyshorts are so much more comfortable than a thong… I hate thongs!!!!
humble
yeahp! lol, the little cheek "fallin" out the bottom of the short. adhd + thinking about boyshorts = damnit noooo!! day of low productivity.
nicki
wifebeater and pants…yeahp. turn on. Pretty much a woman that knows what she has, but doesn't have to say anything about it is sexy – no matter waht is worn. damnit why do women have to be so beautiful!?! lol
@whyso: "Pretty much a woman that knows what she has, but doesn’t have to say anything about it is sexy – no matter waht is worn. damnit why do women have to be so beautiful!?! lol"
Aw ok. LOL. I put that on because I the other option was a dress and I definitely would've had to deal with him trying to get up it. I though the pants would be less of a distraction. LOL.
What CAN a woman wear to avoid playing stop/no/don't?
"You drink guiness? I will marry you right now."
@Humble: aw shat now – I'm getting married ya'll. lol. It's not my preffered drink. Usually ordered when I'm with Jamaicans.
nicki: surefire ways to turn a guy off
- wear anything that can be described as "crusty".
- rip a big fart. I'm talking like "damn is she starting a chainsaw in her ass??" type fart
- burp. Add facial contortions.
- say "i have to go pee". Keep saying it.
- use the word "period"
voila. If he doesn't back off, drop him, he's a sick puppy.
@whyso: you will NEVER have me laughing like this? Facial contortions? Farting?
Why did he fart around me? Argh. What the hell is that? A rite of passage?
Whyso:you's a damned fool…LMFAO but I like that you can recognize unspoken sexiness.
Nicki: Yeah, you're that kinda classic sexy I like it
Cuzzo:Tehehehe!!!! With Jamaicans.
Nicki
how in the he!ll do you go to bed with somebody you are NOT sleepin with?? how does that happen??? I don't think I could sleep in the same bed half nekked and it not go down. Now if I was suited and armored with a really ugly mumu house dress, some heavy socks, and rollers in my head then yeah maybe…but boy shorts is not exactly "dont touch me" bedroom attire.
you celibacy people are really playin with fire. its like the celibacy circus..how zooted up and sexay can we be and still NOT get it poppin. somethings wrong. Somebody needs to draft some articles of incorporation for this club.
@Jac: thanks hon. I appreciate ya.
"Somebody needs to draft some articles of incorporation for this club."
@Comeback: like what – thou shalt not sleep in the bed of exes unless you are wearing a mumu, mud mask, and rollers? the bottom line is not having sex.
@Comeback: I just didn't get that vibe from him that it would be a big deal. Hell, he didn't compliment me once, he gave me a one armed hug when he picked me up…. there was nothing there. I got that friend/brother/cousin vibe from him.
If it was somebody else, I def wouldn't have done it. I probably wouldn't have even stayed in at his house!
Cuzzo:There might need to be some rules…I think some of us are well…ummm acting out. Well I know I am…wait you ain't in the club no mo.
EXACTLY cuzzo…if you're in my bed and im in the "elle macpherson intimates" NOT getting intimate, AND im in my sex$ual prime, and Im coming off of the celibacy island..oh you might as well call your boyz cause somebody is gonna get hurt BADLY.
@Jac: No, I'm not in the club no more due to activities of the sexual kind but, I think the only rule should be not having sex. Why complicate something that people are already having a hard time with anyway?
Speaking of acting out – I gave a dude a lap dance (out of pure jest, there were 4 other ppl in the lit room), had on lil mini dress, but I didn't show anything and he kept his hands to himself. Now would you need bylaws to govern that type of action? Nothing popped off.
Cuzzo I think not. Seems like errbody scared to smash these days.
Hell, I mean…Comeback's over there in her intimates and whatnot…somebody better hit and she's right…If we all up in this piece and I want it…you better get ready…
Im late as hell to the party but I just want to cosign on all the wonderful things said about boyshorts.
@Jac: now how does that sound – just because you want it, you gone take it from him. If he doesn't want to do anything like in Nicki's scenario, then it's not going down. You really want to risk him being in there only to a few mintures later say you know what I dont even want to do this?
@the boyshort fans: have ya'll even seen a woman that did not look right in boyshorts? You know how some attire (in this case underwear) just isn't for every body type…
@Cuzzo
"aw shat now – I’m getting married ya’ll. lol. It’s not my preffered drink. Usually ordered when I’m with Jamaicans"
Do you drink red stripe too?
@why so serious?
"Pretty much a woman that knows what she has, but doesn’t have to say anything about it is sexy – no matter waht is worn. damnit why do women have to be so beautiful!?! lol”
One of the biggest turn-offs for me is a woman that is attractive and has no qualms about letting you know. In my opinion you might as well be wanda or sheneneh if you feel you are that hot.
@Jac: I know I'm scared… plus I'm sick of: after I smash, the relationship stays at smashing stage. F' that. I don't have to keep touching the hot stove.
@Cuzzo: Wow… lap dance huh? I'm not sure that will get past the bylaws…. I'm thinking that's worse than my boyshorts, ma'am. LOL
@Humble: "One of the biggest turn-offs for me is a woman that is attractive and has no qualms about letting you know. In my opinion you might as well be wanda or sheneneh if you feel you are that hot."
This also goes for men. One of my buddies is always remarking on how f'in hot is is. He is like Kwame and uses the phrase hot chicks too… and I hate it!!!!! He's always talking about how many women are on him and who was holl'n at him. I think that if you look good, there's no need to announce your "hollas"
"Do you drink red stripe too?"
@Humble: never had it but, wouldn't be opposed to trying it. I'd have to go to a true yardie spot to get one.
"I’m thinking that’s worse than my boyshorts, ma’am."
@Nicki – uh, no. no booty cheek was shown.
@Cuzzo
" have ya’ll even seen a woman that did not look right in boyshorts? You know how some attire (in this case underwear) just isn’t for every body type…"
Yes I have. If you don't have thick thighs and wide hips you really cant pull the boyshorts off. You dont have to be Serena Williams but you can't be Kate Moss. The thighs and hips are the bare minimmum you need to wear them. Now if have the hips thighs and the round brown high sitting poke out then you are killing the boyshorts.
***ok wachvoia just died ????WTF***
im not sayin' rape..but im not understanding a man who actively decides to lay his head RIGHT next to yours-and you're half nekked. And not want it. I've heard of men doing this..jedi dyck tricks is what I call it. but Id be more frustrated than half the house on a dead bailout plan.
@ Cuzzoz; " I’m thinking that’s worse than my boyshorts, ma’am.”
@Nicki – uh, no. no booty cheek was shown."
LOL. And neither were mine! I don't have the big sista booty. I have one when I'm naked though. LOL
@Cuzzo
"Speaking of acting out – I gave a dude a lap dance (out of pure jest, there were 4 other ppl in the lit room), had on lil mini dress, but I didn’t show anything and he kept his hands to himself. Now would you need bylaws to govern that type of action? Nothing popped off."
It depends on how good the dance was. Remember dont pull heat unless you are ready to use it.
@Humble: ROFL at pulling heat!
"Now if have the hips thighs and the round brown high sitting poke out then you are killing the boyshorts."
@Humble: what kinda booty is that – the onion? I think I have a tear-drop.
@Comeback
"I’ve heard of men doing this..jedi dyck tricks is what I call it. but Id be more frustrated than half the house on a dead bailout plan"
lol. lol lol. "Jedi Dyck Tricks" Can I use this? Dont be mad at a man that is master of his domain. You can only do this for so long. Women will take it from you if play around too much.
@Cuzzo
"what kinda booty is that – the onion? I think I have a tear-drop."
What I described was more like a deelishis or serena williams. But the tear drop kills boyshorts just as good. You have a tear drop and drink guiness? Yeah, umm we are getting married today.
I need one of yaw to tell me what a tear drop is? And how it compares to an onion… I'm confused here.
"Yeah, umm we are getting married today."
ooh, I got me mail-order husband.
@Humble: serena seems like her butt is like a d@mn rock. who wanna be feelin on a rock booty? now, London (aka Deelishis) has a lil jiggle. one of my exes gave me the nickname jello.
So dudes – ya'll like that jiggly joint or a harder bootay?
@Cuzzo
"serena seems like her butt is like a d@mn rock. who wanna be feelin on a rock booty? now, London (aka Deelishis) has a lil jiggle. one of my exes gave me the nickname jello.
So dudes – ya’ll like that jiggly joint or a harder bootay?"
Men want it firm but not too loose. I've seen women that jiggle all over the place when they walk. Thats not good. You want it firm but loose enough to get that ripple when you are giving backshots.
I need to send SBM that backshot topic.
" I’ve seen women that jiggle all over the place when they walk. Thats not good. "
@Humble – that sounds like a cellulite booty. one of those cottage cheese joints. this too, I have seen. a rare sight, but seen none the less. it depends on what ure wearing to control the jiggle. an @ss don't need to be jiggling all crazy like that if ure wearing the proper clothing.
Fellers – you ever pleasantly surprised or utterly disappointed when a woman came out of those jeans (or any kinda clothes) for you? maybe the thighs were thicker than they appeared. maybe not quite as thick.
@Humble: u pull hair too? is there a technique to ure backstroke? ain't nuttin up in here private. dish…
i've um HEARD of guys putting their arm right in ure back and using bodyweight to keep u there and ure @ss in the air. or pulling and holding ure arms at the bicep and pulling her towards u…i um heard that too.
Where u at Jac? I know u have stories.
"I think I want jiggle more than rock hard. I don’t want something I can bounce a dime off of … I want something I can smack, grab, and leave a hand print in it."
Exactly how I want it.
"You must be a fan of the backshot also?"
@Humble – yes. depends on what I'm in the mood for at the time. you see a woman likes to, wants to, and needs to be controlled from time to time. there are times when we like to be in control also. but, the type of control we like is over ure orgasm – whether we are on top of you or whether we're taking u to pleasure town via the oral express (did that just come out my mouth, i like that sh!t, lol). with the backshot the man is in control of you and of his own orgasm. u've got the job if u can make me run from u.
"what’s a backshot?"
@Tea – just another phrase for hittin it from the back, doggy-style, etc.
Wow Humble..there ain't much humble about you in the boudoir huh? LOL
I use to frequent the clubs independently…not so much anymore b/c I only go out for good reason and it's usually celebratory…but last year and before I always went out alone.
Even now when out with my friends I separate and do a few laps on my own…gotta get the scaredy cats of the new millenium a chance to make their move. Posing to be chosen…that's my motto.
Ok Teacia mad props. But what about for really urban contemporary clubs. Sometimes im feelin urban in dress and attitude. I don't know. I don't think some places I could frequent by myself. imma try it soon though and see.
"at what point do you decide it’s okay to go to a club/bar on your own?"
@QB – I've gone to a club by myself once or twice. Not meeting up with anyone after either. My answer would be, the point when you just want to go and have fun and are tired of coaxing ppl to join you. I wouldn't make it a regular thing though. I know one time in particular I was supposed to be going out with a friend after a long draining day at work, went home and got dressed, called her on my way out the door, u know this heffa told me she didn't feel like going anymore…wtf? well, I was dressed and ready to go…so I went. and a good time was had. *cheers to that*
you really need to quickly identify the "leader" and the "anchor" when you attack a pack. the leader is the person that all women will be speaking to when they speak "in a group" EVERY GROUP HAS A LEADER, you just have to look harder if you cant quickly identify her.
the anchor is the one who is trying to keep all of her friends from having "fun" and defiantly trying to stop your black ass from romancing her friend.
you also have ot identify SIRENS. sirens are the girls who will be on the dance floor looking like "fun" and when you walk up to them to have fun with them… WHAMO instant man death.
the women who scurry together and are the fodder? we call them Mice in the club. as the master hawk that you are its your goal to hunt attack entrap and snare these fine things.
guard dogs. this sad ass nigga… (usually me) will be the one dude that a group of women will drag out with them to keep them safe from overbearing thugs and molesting guidos. dont worry… he isnt banging any of the women there. they deem him as "safe"
stand at a distance and peep this brotha out. if you see his eyes check out play and isnt buying drinks for one praticular victim you dont have to fall for "this is my boyfriend" line when she gives it to you. my usual line to get around guard dogs is to go up to HIM and make like he is "awesome" for being a "mackdaddy" and pulling all these hot chicks. Most sistas cant STAND for you to sup up a man and they know… so they will admit she is single… then you got them.
@Cuzzo
"with the backshot the man is in control of you and of his own orgasm."
This is true but if the woman has the skill she can still be somewhat in control. That can be very intense.
"u’ve got the job if u can make me run from u."
Women do funny things when you give them backshots.
@Comeback
" Wow Humble..there ain’t much humble about you in the boudoir huh? LOL"
Who me? I'm always humble. lol
"This is true but if the woman has the skill she can still be somewhat in control. That can be very intense."
@Humble: tis true. i know about that one. from the dance floor to the bedroom with the slow wind.
*i'm outty…5000*
hasta manana
Comeback it doesn't matter. I like attention…football games, clubs hood or upscale(i love hood clubs), conferences, church(yep I even get my prance on in the Lords house).
I just like attention…so I'm gonna prance my happy tail around wherever I'm at to give men a chance to hand over the Discover…lol…or at least approach me. Besides nothing commands attention like a chic dressed to the nines, hair and makeup on point and rolling solo. Men feel the need to "come to the rescue." I advise it at least once for all women to try. It makes you feel powerful, but u gotta be confident to pull it off…not a dime, just confident…and the negroes will fall to your feet. Try it.
im out yo.
best way to get through a group of women: Have fun.
Women like guys who are having fun. If you can come into their group and keep them interested, entertained, and predicting unpredictibility, one will have much success.
There are a certain set of male behaviors that are attractive. Display these and be rewarded. Fail to display and be sent back hangdog to respective bar chair.
This works in all situations, from malls to bars, to the corner store. Great women are everywhere.
"(i love hood clubs), "
me too, this is NOT the place for me to roll solo though. I need to work on that.
It's the PERFECT place b/c u will stand out and every "thug" needs a lady…lol. No but really professional men hang out at hood clubs b/c they like to get away from it all. You'd be surprised the dudes you's meet at a hood club ALONE.
Come on Comeback you can do it!!!
I am straight up dying laughing over here this is hilarious.
I have stated my direct need for a backshot today. I won't lie I'll run but if I run I can expect you to put it down doubly hard, now about this being in control thing good. I like that, but careful because I do fuck back.
Whew. I am glad I was out while this was happening or I might have had to take a flight.
@Cuzzo – i go to the bar on my own on the regular. actually way more often than I like to admit – heck I go to the bar way more often than I would like to admint. But ONLY because it's "My bar" to the point that last week I astonished my work friends that were out w/ me b/c the bartender cut the air on for me – everyone else in the place was freezing and i was hot and wanted the air cut on – so they cut it on. But i won't go anywhere else alone. I dont drink so walking into a bar where I don't know anyone by myself tends to be a bit intimidating. It's one thing to walk in the bar and order a vodka and cranberry and scan the room on your own – a whole other thing to just order cranberry and scan the room on your own… just my thoughts. haha
@SBM i took your little survey thing and I said no but not b/c "That's wrong" just because it can get really messy and not turn out well for anyone involved. Wrong & messy – two different things. Just had to clarify that.
@SBM (9): So someone is gonna fight me because I tell them to stop touching my nether regions?? Are you serious?????
"A question for you ladies though – at what point do you decide it’s okay to go to a club/bar on your own?"
QB, for me it just happened. If I'm bored and want to get out and none of my friends are available to go out, I'll go by myself. It doesn't happen often when I'm in town, but I go by myself when I'm travelling out of town–I've probably been to at least one or two clubs in every city I've visited in the US and some clubs in Bahamas, Jamaica and even Mexico.
"Women like guys who are having fun. If you can come into their group and keep them interested, entertained, and predicting unpredictibility, one will have much success."
WhySoSerious is right about that. A guy does have to have some confidence to pull it off.
I go out by myself all the time. I don't see whats the big deal, actually I prefer it sometimes and i actually agree with Teacia in that i like the attention. Makes me wanna go out tonight!!
Leaving work now and need to study for this chemistry test I will e taking at 5:30 that I neglected to study for this weekend.
GOD BE WITH ME on this one!
Talk to you guys later.
leaving out the details, as long as it has a sufficient “hitting it from the back ripple” it is a winner.
and why so is serious about that
“I need one of yaw to tell me what a tear drop is? And how it compares to an onion… I’m confused here.”
@Nicki – maybe a dude can explain it better but my interpretation of the onion is one that sticks out more on the sides if ure lookin straight at her – ie a wrap-around @ss and sticks out more towards the back kinda like her @ss is tryna run away from her body. and the tear-drop droops down more – it has more cupability. with the tear-drop there’s a deeper crease underneath the booty too.
they talk about it in the Barbershop movie, I think.
@Cuzzo – An onion is an a*s so nice it makes you want to cry. Like onions do. An onion is a nice round a*ss. The teardrop is the similar to Deelishis or Serena. The difference is that the teardrop gradually rounds at the end or small of the back. Deelishis and Serena’s backsides start aggressively as soon as their back meets their a*s.
@Humble: You sure love them backshots.
@Cuzzo & Nicki: I think I want jiggle more than rock hard. I don’t want something I can bounce a dime off of … I want something I can smack, grab, and leave a hand print in it.
I disagree 100% with yo azz today brotha.
I didnt read the rest of the comments… im just postin off the lead topic.
but…. I dunno what its like down there in DC and playing with the 20 something club scene. but if I try and “flank left” and go after midd 37 year old new york corporate sista standin with her 2 angry that a fine brotha didnt approach them gal pals by myself? ya… ok, check please. they would dice me up so quick… hell they would even dice shamar more up. its a lose lose situation.
the motto is from top gun my brothers…
NEVER LEAVE YOUR WINGMAN!
hollywood.. you look fine.. I WANT VIPER!!
great balls of fire mav!!!
ahem… anyway.
2 suave black men can hold off up to a group of twice their number of women in a lounge. I have entertained as many as five with backup, because it comes to a point where you can make all of them actually belive they can get with you OR yoru friend if you conversate and eyecontact right. it will then turn into a rivalry between themselves as opposed to estrogen cutting you to shreads if you went solo.
Also want to point out… the older women get the less and less tight friends they have. sistas are like SITH I swear. when im out I usually only run itno packs of two… but in highschool these gals ran in packs of 5-7. Dudes are like jedi and we are not as powerful but we still roll in deep packs.
and no… fat chicks STILL arent hot in my book.
@SBM – SBM & Head=Humble & Backshots or SBM+Breast = Humble+a*s
@Cuzzo
“Fellers – you ever pleasantly surprised or utterly disappointed when a woman came out of those jeans (or any kinda clothes) for you? maybe the thighs were thicker than they appeared. maybe not quite as thick.”
I have experiences this before. There were a few women that appeared smaller in their pants. When they took the pants off its like their curves were bulging all over the place. They were thicker with the jeans off.
@Cuzzo
“u pull hair too? is there a technique to ure backstroke? ain’t nuttin up in here private. dish…
i’ve um HEARD of guys putting their arm right in ure back and using bodyweight to keep u there and ure @ss in the air. or pulling and holding ure arms at the bicep and pulling her towards u…i um heard that too.”
There are a few techniques. I have done some of them you have mentioned. We really need to dedicate a day to this. lol
“We really need to dedicate a day to this”
@SBM – u hear that? the ppl want backshot banter.
@Humble: u have names for these techniques?
@Cuzzo – You must be a fan of the backshot also? I have no names for the techniques. I just know the positions I like to hit it from the back.
*raising hand* Ummm…what’s a backshot?
Been a busy day at work here. augh. dont even feel like i should be taking the time to comment while on my lunch!
If i am at a club w/ a group of friends then I am there to dance/meet people/have fun. Usually when I go some place w/ a big group of girls we all go together b/c it’s not somewhere we are familiar with and it’s just a safety net thing.
A question for you ladies though – at what point do you decide it’s okay to go to a club/bar on your own? I use to be friends with a girl and we were both “regulars” at a bar that was pretty much like our cheers. No matter when you went there was always someone you knew even if it was just the bartenders. But this girl would REFUSE to walk in the bar if the person she was meeting wasnt there yet. The idea of going in just to see who was there was something she couldn’t wrap her mind around… use to drive me crazy.
“A question for you ladies though – at what point do you decide it’s okay to go to a club/bar on your own?”
I have never gone to a club/bar by myself after say like 7 or 8. And esp when my buddy/s weren’t showing up later. I think at that point. You just the baddest bytch. I have a lot of respect for women who can do that (ie Anesidora). But i’ve eaten alone. Travelled alone (for vacation, domestic and internationally)
@Teacia
“*raising hand* Ummm…what’s a backshot?”
hitting it from the back.