We will soon have a Black President. Young Black Kids and others just in need of motivation … now all have a role model to look up to and emulate. They can now can see a positive role model and think “Yes I can”.
But that’s not all … there is more.
The idea of Black Relationships has gotten some of the worst stereotypes in America … even worst than Republicans. Its to the point where women don’t believe their are no good men anymore, as Comeback talked about. Too many Black Women are sadly convinced their never getting married. You have men out there thinking that all women are these corporate ABWs who are just out for blood (which just isn’t true). And too many people think the traditional Black household has disappeared … forever.
Well … we now have HOPE!!!
OBAMA … OBAMA … OBAMA …
Yes … we now have what may be the perfect role models for the traditional black family.
I mean … driven and successful husband … well dressed, intelligent wife and mother … and exactly 2 beautiful girls … as soon as that puppy comes along … absolutely perfect.
Not even the Huxtables were this perfect … with their 50 kids and no dog living in a townhouse (I still love you Claire though).
So … thank you President Obama. Not only have you empowered African American youth all across the country … but now we may finally be able to repair the black household to the great and powerful unit that it once was.
I just saying … its hard to build a house without a good set of blueprints … or at least another house to copy!
So … again … Thank you President Obama … and Mrs. Obama … and the little Obama-lettes. You have given us the protoype family … and now we can start to shed the undeserved sterotypes that have been unfairly placed upon us.
Feel me … ?
I DEFINITELY feel you. When I was watching the acceptance speech I didn't really tear up until Barak brought his family out onto the stage….. http://adventuresindivorce.wordpress.com/2008/11/…
Even as a divorcee, I still have hope and belief in marriage and the black family (fellas, PLEASE don't prove me wrong).
And "Obama-lettes"….. silly you.
I appreciate this article, because there are still good black men and great black relationships. Yes some things have changed, but love is love and still exist. Women need to stop saying this, because it lowers the worth of the men out there trying hard. If you believe, we'll believe, and then it will be.
YES WE CAN! the most simple campaign slogan but it resonates with every american deeply. the obama's are the role model for black marriage and have since given me hope that I to can have a man that will look into my eyes with so much love, who I can fall asleep in his arms,who will never think about leaving me even when we have problems. we can work through anything with Gods help. I've made my list and so it is written so it shall be done.
Their family unit was definitely one of the reasons I voted for him!
Given that people are naturally prone to hating, the "perfect family" is gonna be tested recklessly. News outlets are waiting to hear rumor of Barack sliding off in the Oval Office a la Wild Bill. Then again, even Bill Clinton got past that.
They are a model family though…something people can aspire to, but certainly not a common reality.
I love the Obamas (particularly Michelle), but I am starting to become concerned about how much attention they are receiving as the model of "perfection". I am with Slim. It can't be healthy.
Ooops I wasn't finshed…as I was writing, reminds me of my Grandparents. That old school love.
They are just mortal beings and shouldn't have to carry all of us like we have never known or seen real love and family…but it sure looks good. Check their body language out. They are always touching, it's just beautiful. Helps YT see us for who we always have been and not the stereotypes that THEY created…like all black men have big dycks…Not
"They are just mortal beings and shouldn’t have to carry all of us like we have never known or seen real love and family…"
I agree. thats a tough load for any one man or woman to carry. But if this gets people thinking of the possibilities again then i am happy. Hopefully the impact is sustaining and people don't forget what "they;ve never seen" in fact looks like after 2016.
After rejoicing that my next president will be a brotha, I had rejoice all over again that my next first lady will be a sista. And THEN, had to rejoice another time because the lovely first family as a whole!
Obama does have a lot of weight on his shoulders and I could even tell he felt it when he came out to give his acceptance speech. However, it takes a strong man to take that pressure on full force and he has done with all kinds of grace. I don't expect him to be responsible for us achieving, I'm just glad he's such a terrific example. He's represents the door opening to new possibilities and it's our job to walk through it. And I'm sure he is honored to have become that inspiration for so many.
As happy as people are, I'm prepared for the absolute worse to manifest from this "example of black love."
Obama is a lucky dude…period. It's not everyday you meet someone of Michelle's character and marry her. Michelle isn't a common reality, just like Obama isn't the norm for black men. I understand that people are happy about the first Black Family in the White House but I'm already jaded from the comments I've read on various boards such as "Obama is showing you men how it's done" or "Now brothas need to step up in the plate and be more responsible to their families/get married." Now, everything in every black man's life is measured by the accomplishments of Barack. Obama being in doesn't mean much has changed. Okay…I voted for the dude and he will probably do fine, but his presidency has no effect on my dating/social/romantic life whatesoever.
Sorry…I'm all over the place with this one…
This article was well appreciated, not that any man should be measured by another's accomplishments but we rarely see real sucessful black love that hasnt been tarnished by some outlandish story(i.e. Will and Jada and bisexual and swinging allegations). I'm not sayin Obama is gonna change my social life i will prolly still be single as all get out, i know that there isnt an exact copy of Barack but i know that God didnt break the mold when he made that one.
i feel you dude. I do believe that good black men are out there, but i am that a black woman that has lost some hopes in ever becoming married. The Obama family does give you something to aspire to. Michelle is that strong well rounded woman that I dream of being; the supportive rock that he describes her as. just an awesome prototype.
I'm currently reading a book called “What Our mothers Didn’t Tell Us” by Danielle Crittenden. I think it's a great book for young career minded women to read. I consider myself a career woman and I'm in full support of anyone who is trying to move up the corporate ladder and improve their socio-economic standing. However I feel that so many modern black women lose sight of what it takes to have a successful marriage and build a strong family unit. Both men and woman have to let go our selfishness and make better choices when it comes to having a life mate. Obama and Michelle are the perfect representation of balance. Although Michelle has the dynamic career, she is also an amazing supportive wife and a fantastic mother. There is a mutual respect and I’m positive that Obama has also supported Michelle’s goals and aspirations through out their courtship. A relationship can’t be all about one half of the equation.
SBM I don’t know you at all but based on what you write, it sounds like you want a Michelle Obama/ Claire Huxable of your own but do you have the qualities to attract such a woman? I’m asking sincerely because sometimes you and a lot of other professional upwardly mobile Black men come off very selfish. It’s like the woman needs to bend over backward and don’t make too many demands or else she will come off as antagonistic. Many of my male friends always talk about they are looking for a real life Claire Huxable but I always ask them well are you the Cliff that will attract that type of woman? Basically it goes both ways. Quality people attract other quality people. My point is that Michelle and Obama work very hard to have a strong family unit. That has to be priority. It isn’t about arm candy or how much money sometime makes. There has to be a real connection.
Michelle Obama is an example of why men need to see beyond looks. Personally I think Michelle Obama is beautiful but keeping it real she doesn’t meet the stereotypical standard of beauty that has been force fed down the throats of Black men. She is a tall dark skin woman with Afro centric features. To be frank a lot of Black men (at least in LA) don’t tend to go for that look. Anyway those are my thoughts even though I’m slightly off topic.
MUSE, I must agree with you. A lot of Men are looking for a 10 when in fact, they aren't close to it. They are looking for this idea of beauty instead of the whole package. Don't get me wrong…I think Michelle is beautiful, but as you said Society force feeds us on what outwordly beauty is, instead of the whole package.
I know so many men who are looking for Beyonce type looks, and are looking past the Michelle's & the Oprah's and they themselves are no 10's. Once men and women mature and look beyond the make-up, weave, cars, and bank accounts, and are ready to build on a solid foundation then there will be more model marriages.
My step-day said to my mom "Baby, I don't have a lot to offer you, but I offer you my word, you stick by me, and I will buy you a house, car and anything else we need"
He did just that…and he's a truck driver, who owns his own business, but met her when he had nothing…
By no means am I encouraging anyone to settle but I do believe that we all need to look beyond the superficial. There is nothing wrong with wanting a man or a woman who is ambitious in their career but they also need to have integrity, an interesting personality, and intellect (in my opinion. Intellect isn't important to some people)
this is the realest shit you've ever spoke (c/o tupac shakur)
I might even shed the bruce wayne shit and go looking for my Michelle. Damn that gorgeous woman lol.
@Muse: You are so right. I actually have been a huge advocate of really looking deep into a person and not trying to place too much into looks and stuff.
I know it sounds corny … but if you look hard enough a person's soul will show through … and that's what's important.
”When people show you who they are, believe them the first time,’ … because they always show you!” Maya Angelou
I am proud of our new First Family. I'm glad that "other" folks are seeing that we all aren't statistics. Many non-AAs have had the misconception that we don't have family values or family structures like them. We always have and our values are sometimes stricter than theirs. I'm glad that the Obamas will be in the white house to squash all the myths.
My step-day said to my mom “Baby, I don’t have a lot to offer you, but I offer you my word, you stick by me, and I will buy you a house, car and anything else we need” He did just that…and he’s a truck driver, who owns his own business, but met her when he had nothing…
DCDating. The thing is these days, some men can't keep their word. They will say one thing and mean another. I'm hoping that with what happened Tuesday night will make some men take a good hard look at themselves and start making some changes–changes in the right direction.
@ Shelia "met her when he had nothing" now in 08 terms that means: no luxury or pre-owned car…no jewelery-we can do the club thing but not a lot…yes you live in a better part of town but no I am not moving in with you" is todays "we been sexing for 6 months lets move in" couple really ready to date some one who has nothing?
There are women up here who have stated they are not dating a man of a certain economic bracket.
Well thats a paradox simply because right now the next Barack is BROKE ladies.
Yea I am sure there are some of yall that dated a brother while the two of you were still in school but I didnt go through that in school. There was this feeling if I HAD the B.S then me and her would be an item.
So I am to acheive some of the hardest things alone then date a Independent Black Woman in the same boat? This is why there are "TWO pairs of pants" in todays relationships.
My moms and pops met under 21 and so did my sister and her husband they are in their early 40's.
Both couples worked together for what they eventually obtained.
Now me…Mr First and Only in Fam to go to college, seemed to hurt my dating chances until I got out.
The constant theme while in college…I never made over $8.50 and I lived at home…admit thats just too messy for some of you ladies right?
Well I am out, I live alone and brought all of my film equipment just like I told some laides who just thought all I wanted was a BJ and a pair of Timbs.
(BTW you can see some of my work on enyfilmworks/myspace)
So unless we understand that there will plenty of BROKE a$$ nights and days as you prepare to be the next "Barack and Michelle" I just cant see too couples in this era going there.
some of those stereotypes, we have allowed ourselves to perpetuate.
I enjoyed this post. Not too long ago I did a post discussing Claire Huxtable.
I find it sad to be with a group of women and they bring up the i'll never get married because there are no good men. SO untrue. There are good men out there you just have to be patient and sometimes we need a few not so good ones to make us appreciate the good man.
@ Sheila: My Dad said all a Man has is his word, and if he breaks that, then he's not a man.
@Temps – I recently stopped dating a guy I have dated on & off throughout college and after. He's a year or so older than me, and in today's terms "didn't have it together". I supported him, but there is only so much I can do. I stuck by him, encouraged him, pushed him, etc. But at the end of the day HE has to want thoes things for himself.
I'm not about money, cars, jobs, etc. In fact I hardly ever ask a guy what he does for a living in the first couple of conversations, unless he asks me firsts.
One of my requirements for a guy that I date is that he is as ambitious as I am, and that he never settles, and isn't lazy, and can bring to table what I can or is willing to try to. (i.e. a job, roof over his head, drive, intellect, sexual appetite…and sexy doesn't hurt either:) (Ok, so maybe that was 5 or 6)
@temps – I guess it's an age thing. A man in his 40s should have something to show for his hard work and should be grounded. He shouldn't still be trying to "find himself" and figure out things. A man in his 20s and early 30s have more leeway, but after awhile, even then, he has to grow up. As long as the man is working hard to achieve his goals and not just trying to live off someone else, then fine…but he should want to strive for more and be taking action instead of just talking about it.
@dcdating – "My Dad said all a Man has is his word, and if he breaks that, then he’s not a man." I wished some of the younger men would listen to the older guys. A man's word is his bond and when you can't trust it, it's hard to stand by him. You also made a good point too–a man does have to want things for himself. I don't care how much we support our men, if he doesn't have the desire to do better–it's not going to work.
"So I am to acheive some of the hardest things alone then date a Independent Black Woman in the same boat? This is why there are “TWO pairs of pants” in todays relationships."
@Temps…that's real!
My story mirrors yours.