****** Admin Note ******
I want to introduce you all to another writer to join the SBM family. Mr. Faqs currently resides out on the West Coast and is fellow Phrat. I want you to welcome him to the “staff” (man that’s funny to say) and enjoy what this articulate brother has to say.
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If we as men are not careful, we just might get ourselves caught up. When you have young ladies that spend any amount of time in your home, as a single male or committed male doing his dirt, there are certain things you must know and measures that must be taken to keep issues at a minimum. Let’s take a look below at some things that can precipitate questioning, arguments and potentially busted windows.
Personal Markers: Females – I sure hope at least – bathe and groom themselves on a daily basis. They also – I sure hope at least – clean their homes. That being said, they should be well aware of their shedding habits and at least be considerate enough to remove the strands that are in plain sight. If I can visit your home and not piss all over the toilet seat, you can do the same and not leave spilt make-up on my counter top and bath rug.
Personal Products: Why are you shaving at my house anyway? I’m sorry malm but you just might begetting a little too comfortable. Take the fact that you got to see the inside of my shower as a privilege that’s awarded to few. You know everything that came out of your little travel bag so do me a favor and take your Veet home with you.
Personal Items: “A birthday gift from your grandmother?” If those earrings were that important to you, you wouldn’t have left them and certainly not so strategically placed at the foot of my bed wrapped between the comforter and the flat sheet.
So why is this done?
It’s not by accident …
When it comes to defining status, women are like a dog that raises his leg and pisses on a tree. Hair, pink razors and jewelry left behind are the equivalent of a urine scent, it marks the territory.
Now, I will say that those parties most often guilty of these acts are females who don’t know their role or are trying to change it. “Dudes not pushing for anything more than sex so I’ll just make myself comfortable and before he knows it, BAM! I got half the closet.”
Unfortunately for us dudes, we oft fail to recognize these tell-tell signs of pee stains on our carpet. Personal products and personal items act as a guaranteed return visit, “I think I left [xyz].” All three combines act as a way to silently tell any other females that might visit that “Yea, I was here and I made myself at home.”
So how do you combat this? For starters, as men we must step up our housekeeping standards. For instance, if all your furniture sits up off of the ground, do a thorough cleaning underneath, as hair and other small items tend to collect and reveal themselves at inopportune times. Secondly, if you know that you have had potentially incriminating escapades recently and not had time to put things in order, don’t allow guests to roam around unattended. If her phone call upstairs is taking a little too long, check on her and make sure she doesn’t have the CSI inferred light out doing a sweep of your room. Last but not least, let your morning/mid-day/overnight company know that you would like your home respected and that you neither appreciate nor enjoy the smell and stains of urine. Before she dips, do a spot check just like moms used to before you could go outside – bed made, toys up, clothes hung.
It might sound extreme, but these are the necessary steps that must be taken in order to keep the single life as drama free as possible.
I have seen many a men meet there down fall from some dif color hair found on the bath room floor.
"and certainly not so strategically placed at the foot of my bed wrapped between the comforter and the flat sheet."
This part was funny as hell. I know women who've done this.
I, being the prototype of a great woman, have never done this…
1. If you want me to be there, you're going to have to let me know. I don't assume anything.
2. If it's my territory, I have no reason to mark it… we both know. And if I find out you are cheating, "meet your death in less than 8 seconds." By find out, I don't mean I look for clues. I don't do that -ish. It'll come out. TRUST.
3. I want my stuff at MY PLACE. I want my earrings, I want my toilitries. I have no desire to make double trips to the store to stock my home with items as well as yours for clues.
I agree with Nick..this seems highly time consuming. If im marking territory and sending signals to other women, then Im with the wrong man. What belongs to me doesn't need a chanel compact left in the bathroom.
But yeah if a man is being a ho!e he needs to make all the merry maid provisions he can to catch all the little "heffa he's mine and i was here."
the above tho is usually done by women who suspect either the MAIN woman or a equal rival around…so when is it HIS resp. to tell the truth that they just fykin. just askin? When is it HER responsibility to listen to her inner guide that been done told her shes JUST A FYCK BUDDY.
you can't really mark what aint yours.
integrity (being true to self and others) goes a long way.
Men are so silly that they dont even know that if a woman is doing these things… she is doing it on purpose… to mark her territory… it aint a regular chick that knows about the situation being casual that is doing this…
And dont get the game twisted… I've had a dude leave ish at my house just so he would ensure himself another visit. Needless to say I wasn't feeling him and made him come back to get it and I brought it outside to him and did not invite him in. Dont be trying to give me the okey doke… I know all the tricks!
yeahp!
I've neglected a room check and my ex-girl found a random hair-rubber-band that I had to explain away. Like there weren't other girls before her.
Also to add to the list: super strong perfume. Cotdamn girl, did you take a bath with Victoria?
Welcome, Mr. FAQs!
Wow,i know girls who try to do this with the cardboard boxes they give us called dorms. if all we are are sexual partners there's no need to mark territory cuz well damn it i'm not your girl, but on the other hand i've had guys want to leave things here and "mark" areas in my room it can go both ways depending on the person. but welcome Mr.faqs!
Not only can your home get you in trouble, but your car as well. I’ve seen enough dudes get caught just by the placement of the passenger seat or the aroma in the car. It’s hard out here for a pimp.
“It’s hard out here for a pimp.”
esp when he’s being dishonest..shame on you SBM for these “pimpalicicous” laws of the land..that will further leave dishonest men with a dry and or infected wang.
“that will further leave dishonest men with a dry and or infected wang.”
LMAO. I think men have this pimp thing all wrong. To me, a true playa/pimp, is a man who can tell you the truth and STILL keep you around…
I also think its a subconscious thing, a chick may not go out of her way to mark her territory, but she has to know, that she is definitely leaving a scent and if she has hair, its gonna pop up somewhere. So if she isnt making the effort to clean it up, she knows exactly whats shes doing.
@ Nick I never thought about it like that but you are correct. There are plenty of women looking for ALL men are selling but hel! with most purchases comes some form of disclaimer.
I aint never bout nothing that stated “buyer beware”..some women aren’t looking right now to slow the party down..but all women i do believe want some form of the truth..even when they can’t listen to their gut..aint it better coming out the horses mouth?
“I’ve had a dude leave ish at my house just so he would ensure himself another visit”
@ eb this is true rhat here..LOL
Welcome Mr. FAQs!
@Nicki
“I think men have this pimp thing all wrong. To me, a true playa/pimp, is a man who can tell you the truth and STILL keep you around…”
preach! that’s how a pimp does…these men’s are hard of hearing. mess around and a dude that knows true pimpology will steal ure woman cuz you tryna be on some mission impossible III.
this post shoulda been called don’t get too comfortable a la lil weezie
It's not even about men doing dirt…
Even the most innocent of you vixens will "forget" something that sets up or prompts a return visit/phone inquiry about said item. I don't do anything shady as I'm pretty transparent, so the need to mark territory is pretty moot. Yes, I have other women over…get over it.
The soldier in me keeps me from leaving any trace of being there. So I bring my own overnite bag during those covert operations and then leave without a trace. No toothbrushes. No special hygiene product.
I was just having this talk with a buddy of mine recently. Chick got sneaky and tried to use his brush/comb. The hair utensil was disposed of shortly after her departure. I remember in college someone tried to leave a stray ear ring at the crib. It was returned before shorty could get in her car. In the words of a tall basketball player blockin a shot…
Get that ish outta here!
Ha! I’ve peeped game when women tried marking their territory. Once I saw the con, I had to change the rules up. One thing’s for sure is that I actually began to appreciate dreadlocks more…at least with that au naturale style you won’t leave any stray weave strands around.
I also know the pheremone/perfume game played, as a woman will come over trying to smell all good and make certain to spread her scent on my comforter.
As far as the objects, it’s usually a scrunchy or a headwrap innocently left behind because she was in a hurry or “forgot it.” Ha…you ladies are funny.
Wow, this seems like a lot of trouble to go through for a dude! I was dating my man for MONTHS before I felt comfortable enough to leave ANYTHING at his house and that was after he kept asking ME to spend the night.
Any female who would go so far out of their way to “mark their territory” is not the right one for many reasons, but probably the most glaring is her apparant lack of self esteem. Who wants a girl who isn’t confident enough in themselves to try and trick a man into wanting her/scaring off the competition.
Any man that falls for this foolishness may deserve the trouble his little friend is getting him into. Why be a multi-woman man who has to worry about this anyway?
“LMAO. I think men have this pimp thing all wrong. To me, a true playa/pimp, is a man who can tell you the truth and STILL keep you around”
Truer words have never been spoken. I have talked with a man who I knew was seeing others. But the thing I could appreciate about him was that he kept it up front and honest with me at all costs. Instead of trying to sell me a dream like some other gools I was dealing with. To this day I still have MAD respect for the man who was HONESt with me and let me make my choice aware of the sitcho than them sorry ass niggas that lied.
Marking territory = pathetic and whack. But I have a feeling if men were a little more honest about their intentions in the first place, they wouldn’t have to worry about little games like this.
“There are plenty of women looking for ALL men are selling but hel! with most purchases comes some form of disclaimer.”
Amen Comeback!
“mess around and a dude that knows true pimpology will steal ure woman cuz you tryna be on some mission impossible III. ”
Right.. talk to a true pimp fellas… he doesn’t lie to any of his women.
Jada Mwah: LOVE that name… I love some JadaKiss.
for anyone woman who is in the friends with benefits position wanting more and not sure how to get it to say she has never resorted to these tactics is in denial.
I have caught myself pondering these games in my twenties and quickly told myself that if I had to take it there it was time to remove myself from the equation.
Once a woman knows her worth and truly knows what she wants, she finds no comfort in such madness. If you are part of a "team" play your position. If you know you are dealing with a "coach" evaluate whether you want to even be on the team.
This is what, page 250 in the revised unabridged large print playa handbook? lol
I’ve had a few men try to pull the “Okie doke” as well. Leaving boxers, hats, condoms under the bed. I have to do a full sweep through. That’s why I stopped having company unless it’s someone I’m serious about or want to be serious with…
And I will not leave my Victoria’s secret purposefully at anyone’s house…that isht is expensive…I want all my isht, so don’t think it’s on purpose…
Nah, can't cosign this one. I leave stuff behind all the damn time and NOT on purpose.
Hate to sound macktastic but I dont have to do all that, you will call me and ask for the return visit. And when I do come through again I'll make sure I take all my ish with me!
If anything I've found myself doing the "clean sweep" on the way out.
Lol!
Lmao @ this post Mr. Faqs. I have to agree with most of the women on here. "Marking your territory is ridiculous". I don't have the time to play the game of leaving crap behind. Plus like someone b4 me said I like my stuff and don't enjoy shopping for 2 sets of products earings clothes etc
On a side note- if a dude doesn't say let's just see each or be my girl etc ur not in a relationship. My homeboy said that's mad old school no guys says that. Is this the case?
In forgetful women’s defense (i.e. me) I’ve left things behind purely on accident (I’m still missing a favorite earring, and I’m quite unhappy about that). You can’t fault a woman for inadvertently leaving her scent of perfume or some stray hairs here and there… that’s just going to happen. And a woman shouldn’t be expected to eradicate all traces of her presence…. are we supposed to carry around dust busters, lint brushes and febreeze in our purses when we come to visit just cuz YOU are out here being shady?? Bottom line is that if you’re doing dirt, some of the dust is going to get left behind. Good luck out there, playa.
@ Nicki (and all the ladies on here)– I totally agree, especially with #3 – “I want my stuff at MY PLACE.” I like having all of my things with me. I’m not going to leave my things at some mans place to “make my mark.” That takes too much time and I hate having to replace things. If I leave something, it is definitely by accident.
One time I accidentally forgot an antique gold bangle in dude’s car and I was/am pissed. I never got my bangle back and it is irreplaceable. I think he believes that I was trying to leave my mark, but I don’t have time for that mess. I just want my jewelry back!
@DC Dating Diva – Thank you!! A few men have tried that nonsense with me, leaving fitted caps and other distinctly “male” items in my car and apartment trying to “mark their territory.” But I have three brothers so when I was asked about it, I just said one of my brothers left their things around while they were visiting. = )
“@ Nicki (and all the ladies on here)– I totally agree, especially with #3 – “I want my stuff at MY PLACE.” I like having all of my things with me. I’m not going to leave my things at some mans place to “make my mark.” That takes too much time and I hate having to replace things. If I leave something, it is definitely by accident.
One time I accidentally forgot an antique gold bangle in dude’s car and I was/am pissed. I never got my bangle back and it is irreplaceable. I think he believes that I was trying to leave my mark, but I don’t have time for that mess. I just want my jewelry back!”
I let a dude borrow a CD.. after it was over, I wanted it back but I didn’t want him to think that i was trying to see him. I asked for it twice but after no results, I chalked it up.
@ Nicki – "I let a dude borrow a CD.. after it was over, I wanted it back but I didn’t want him to think that i was trying to see him. I asked for it twice but after no results, I chalked it up."
Yeah seriously, I asked for the bangle twice and he did not return it, so I have given up for the exact same reason.
@ Jaila lol …This is what, page 250 in the revised unabridged large print playa handbook? lol
And page 199 is thou shalt not leave your isht anywhere…, right???
So fella's take note, this applies to you too, don't call me saying you left your comic book, beanie, xbox game, cd, lighter, charger or watch…it has officially been donated to the Salvation Army or the trash can…unless I like you…
"And I will not leave my Victoria’s secret purposefully at anyone’s house…that isht is expensive…I want all my isht, so don’t think it’s on purpose…"
why did i have a dude accuse me of leaving my panties at his place?? Funny thing is they werent even mine!!! He argued with me saying I was lying, ninja what the hell? I need my panties!!
He was so dumb, I wasn't even mad they they belong to someone else, I was more mad that hey went out his way to call me a lier. I'm sorry but I dunno who you deal with but if i want to claim you i dont need to leave my ish to do it buhleedat!!
ahahahha at Jalia and DC Diva…
Its not about a code or anything, i think the point is that it just saves us all some trouble. If its a dude doing dirt, its his fault if some stray hairs are found.
I watch my roomate duck and dodge shit all that time..and hes not in a relationship, but just doesnt want to deal with the questions…i swear he washes his pillow cases 3 times a weak.
@Jaila Of course this is a weapon in the female arsenal! Not saying it's not…. just saying leaving stuff behind is not ALWAYS a strategic move.
Besides, I don't WANT to deal with a guy that I have to trick into getting an invite back. I'm with Dom on that one… you're gonna call me back over regardless. And if not… well I'll keep it moving just like you are. Give us a little more credit, guys… we're not all trying to trick you guys to the altar and have your 5 kids. If anything, our accidentally leaving something gives YOU and excuse to call US back over…. "Uh, hey, are you coming back through tonight? You know you left your earrings over here… they looked really nice on you and I'm sure you're missing them…." BWHAHAHAHA!
Hmm I could say something but I wont.
That's good. Don't say anything.
-Good post and welcome Mr. FAQs-can you put up a list of those btw. That might be helpful.
I've marked my territory a couple of times (be it consciously or unconsciously)…Sometimes I think mean might put something out to run a chick away…
Just my interpretation of the situation.
Interesting post. Well all I can say if you weren't entertaining more than one woman–this wouldn't be a problem…lol
But for players, you should do a spot check and this goes for women too. Men like to mark their territories as well–all toilet seats down please.