Double Standards are everywhere!
I mean … some of them really suck … some of them are helpful … some of them just …well … don’t really make sense. Most of the people that complain about double standards … also seem to benefit from them simultaneaously.
Double Standards are alive and kicking strongly when it come to the sexes. There are things that a guy can do … that’s just not acceptable for a female … and there are things a woman can do … that is unbecoming for a male … lets focus on the latter
*break* … for those of you unclear about what a double standard is …
A double standard refers to one class of entities being treated differently from another class of entities, and implies an unfair or unjustified differentiation. Double standards can be applied to many entities including people, groups, and concepts.
cite: wikipedia
So … as a public service to all of those soft, simping, lame, punk sumb*tches misinformed males … SBM presents the Double Standard guide for men … aka … sh*t she can get away with that you can’t.
Crying
I think this goes without saying. Sure if your parent passes, someone kills your dog, you get kicked in the balls, or someone throws sand directly in your eyes (the eyebrows and eyelids don’t count) … then let the tears fly … but otherwise … man up! Your just not allowed to cry. Bambi’s mom got shot … man up! Your girl just left you … man up! You caught your best friend giving your wife the “bidness” … get the shotgun because its time for someone to die man up!
Tongue Rings
I just polled the world on tongue rings recently … and one thing that’s well agreed upon … men don’t wear tongue rings … and if they do … they duck sick don’t appreciate the company of women. I don’t care if its a stud, hoop, or a spinning glow in the dark piece … it does not belong in the mouth of a man. On women … its often sexy … implies good fellatio head kissing … but … sadly … only the first one comes to mind when a guy is doing it.
Temper Tantrum
Men can get mad … that’s our right … under law (as long as no one gets hurt)! But … to b!tch, moan, complain, or generally make a pouty face … is just not hot. While its annoying as hell when a woman does this … and may be grounds for instant dismissal … its kind of expected and understood. Women can get mad, make all kinds of faces, I wouldn’t even be shocked if she held her breath until her faced turned blue (I’m lying … wtf are ya … 5?) … but its just … unbecoming for us to stoop to such levels.
Touching a stanger of the opposite sex
Ever been in a club, supermarket, or church and just had someone randomly grab or rub your chest, ass, side, or other sensitive area. If you are a guy … you probably turned around thinking “who is looking to come home with me” … and if you are a girl … you though “who is fiting to get stabbed!” Women can touch, rub, grope, stroke, jerk whatever they want on a man and be well recieved (unless she looks like she got mushed in the face with the ugly stick) … but a guy will get arrested … or stabbed. Don’t do it to yourself!
Kissing someone of the same sex
I really don’t even feel like wasting time elaborating on this one … but let me make it clear. Two women kissing = sexy. Two guys kissing = vomit! And I’m not just saying this as a heterosexual male … women I talk to rather see lesbian porn than gay porn. Two women are just soft, gentle and … well … beautiful. I’ve never seen two men … but I could imagine some weird naked fight for dominance. Have you ever heard a woman use “no homo” or “pause’???
Talking about masturbation
Just like same sex kissing … with women its this sensual and erotic moment … with guys its just this dirty … yet necessary … act. Its like comparing a ballet to the dutty wine. Also, if you talk about it extensively around other guys … falls into a “no homo” moment. Talking about methods, toys, shower heads, and time … sexy for her … not for you.
Putting anything in or near your anus
Ok … I’m really not gonna explain this. Cool for her … not for him!
I hope this public service announcement helps your average b!tch ass n***a soft guy … in addition to helping some of the women determine a soft lame … from a real break your back, throw you against the wall, and give you a screaming orgasm type of man.
Rape – how do i explain this??? no man will EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER say he's been raped by a woman. A woman can jump on you and you will not fight with the vigor as a person that is seriously being violated. You're not gonna kick and scream. You might not even say No and Stop emphatically.
this is also a double standard for good looking people vs. non good looking people.
double standards are alive and kicking..
aside from the last one I agree but I'm terrified to have anything near my anus!
if a man cries it won't bother me just dnt be a b*tch ninja! lol
I co-sign Akua…I ain't so sure it's cute for us to have things in or near our anuses either.
Men with tongue rings scare me…especially @ fast food joints…I don't want the food…I'm scerddt it's poisoned.
My ex shed tears after this movie we were watching once… I thought it was cute.
"this is also a double standard for good looking people vs. non good looking people."
I agree!
So Im a suckah for President history inspired film..my ex CRIED like a BABY at the end of "Bobby"..i think i told this story. Not a little tear. BUT SOBBED in the car.
I was so not sure what to do..i figured it was my ole comeback girl charm that gets errybody and their momma to tell me stuff that only God knows..but this was different…
and scary.
i hope that doesn't happen to me again LOL
i think this list of double standards is interesting. although none of them are "new" and are pretty well known, i wonder this: by agreeing with these double standards, are you saying that they should be perpetuated? is there no way to resolve standards like these? i mean, in general, a double standard is a negative thing…
great list
i think some men cry in private… my homie told me my ex cried in the bathroom for an hour after i broke up with him, we were together four years. i didn't shed a tear though, lol. ne way. temper tantrums just as crying are no no's, i tell my four year old son to man up all the time. he's learned but my guy friends told me to stop it.
i actually ask guys about their masturbation routine, i guess nothing is bad about that since i'm not a home boy.
Women can also compliment and acknowledge the flyness/beauty of other women. We can say stuff like "Aw, she's gorgeous" or "Gurl, those jeans bring out tha booty!" Dudes can't really do that. They can't say "That's a nice-looking dude right there" or worse, "Yo, dawg…those jeans look real nice on you. They accentuate your…" If that were to happen, I'd assume he's from Atlanta.
I have to 90% co-sign this list. I think there are other situations in which it's ok for a man to cry. He is human after all and I think too much machismo means you are hiding something (like an affinity for NFL players).
A few others came to mind…
Taking your wife's last name in marriage…cant do it.
Sex toys…makes you a perv if you're a guy but its hot for a girl.
Tight clothes…not a good look for a man.
"Tight clothes…not a good look for a man."
While I agree, I must say that I know men and women who that would disagree with you whole-heartedly.
@Cuzzo – Have you seen the Law and Order episode where the guy was gang raped by three women, but the defense was trying to argue that he couldn't have been raped because he was aroused? Totally changed my opinion on the whole "male rape" issue…
@ Comeback – Was he confused as to how Bobby was going to end or…
Shoes are a definite double standard. Women can wear shoes from pretty much anywhere, such as Payless or Wal-Mart. Men…not so much.
Great post my friend, to add to rape thing, a man can be accused for sexual harassment for innocently complimenting someone of for helping them to their car
"Shoes are a definite double standard. Women can wear shoes from pretty much anywhere, such as Payless or Wal-Mart. Men…not so much."
@knappi – Really? I'd assume it's the other way around. If I see a chick with Payless shoes on, I'm kinda like "seriously?" On the contrary, if I were to see a dude rockin Payless jawns, I'd assume he just doesn't know any better or doesn't care.
Which makes me think of another double standard: It's more acceptable for a dude to look a hot mess than it is for a woman. Yea…it really is.
@Slim: Is tighted the same as slim? Bc I like the slim look on SOME men. Like the Pharrell skinny ones.
As I read the comments I realize how many i forgot. I cant agree on the rape one … cause for one thing … a guy can be raped by another guy.
I feel the shoes thing, guys cant do payless, although this only applies to sneakers. No one is checking dress shoe makers. And male skinny jeans are too popular (sadly) for me to be able to count that either.
"@ Comeback – Was he confused as to how Bobby was going to end or…"
i think it had less to do with Bobby or John and more to do with some type of breakdown…maybe brought about by all the people who stayed at the hotel on the eve of BK's murder..idk…
**repressing the thought as i type***
SBM: "I don’t care if its a stud, hoop, or a spinning glow in the dark piece … it does not belong in the mouth of a man."
In the sagacious words penned by Chris Rock and Gerald Levert…
Rock: If a girl has a pierced tongue – she'll probably suck your d!ck
Levert: That'd be great..
Rock: If a guy has a pierced tongue – he'll probably suck your d!ck
Levert: I don't want that, no…no, no, No, No, NO!
"Rock: If a guy has a pierced tongue – he’ll probably suck your d!ck
Levert: I don’t want that, no…no, no, No, No, NO!"
HHHHAAAAAAA!
@ Nyela G. – I meant more like I don't think men care about where a woman’s shoe comes from. 9 times out of 10, that's not what they are looking at anyways. But most women would notice if a dude had on the $15 Stephon Marbury shoes from Steve and Berry and would probably run the other way. Therein lies the double standard.
He could be wearing the $15 shoes because he's saving up for a house…or he could just be incredibly cheap. Who knows?
About to go unearth my old copy of no sex in the champagne room now. Maybe I'll just youtube it.
this post is pure hilarity. i'm just now reading it. i don't know if anyone's posted about whipping out your privates. men love to do it, but theyre the ones most likely to get thrown in jail when they whip out their special parts. Freaks
This is a good one!! Girls can crash in the same bed after a drunken night at the club. Guys, no matter how wasted still know enough that if Ray Ray jumped in the bed, Joe Joe crashed on the couch, Tyrone the love seat, Big Mike on the lazy boy…looks like you're sleepin on the floor dog, because if you even LOOK like climbing in the bed with Ray Ray…it's gon be sumthin, even if you try sleeping at the other end, somebody is going to clown you!
Thanks for the clarification.
A great tool I can use for my male friends.
Good post…tight clothes??? Lil Wayne and Pharrell are doing I'm seeing the look a lot more on the street and in clubs now among the young spots. I couldn't imagine wearing tight jeans, I love looking at them on a nice sistas ass though…especially when they sit down and you see the top of that crack….Woooo!!! too sexy…it would be sad sight to see a nice apple bottom's ass crack in some jeans at a glimpse, and then realize it is some lil nigga wearing tight jeans!!!
SEX..In that we as men no matter what we must tear it up no matter what trauma we may have gone thru. The only excuse yall women throw out is "have you been locked up". I aint a robot in ten yrs it took to get my degree the last four were very ugly in terms of dating. So my sex suffered and it was brutal…women want us to rock boats, (as to why you let us hit is such another story and yes a double standard as well) yet yall want us to be all these other things too. Well to get there we may have to give up something and when we do connect again well lets just say we may have lost a step.
But if yall havent had any in a while, we got to hear how special your gushy is and how you arent thirsty and all that crap…YAAWNN!! Women ought to remember this: If I can make you scream and I only got the chance to do so based on "something" (I aint wearing the $15 Marburys')that speaks for my character-well under such bullshit why get mad when I take that ability to the next chick?
Can I add "being afraid of insects/vermin" to the list? I once had a an ex (the same ex who got me a computer component for Christmas, lol) who screamed like a bish when we were walking down the streets of Manhattan on a date and Mr. Rat decided to come out of the garbage can and say "hello" to us. Now … I will freely admit to being the girliest of girls, and I will break down and bawl in the presence of mice or roaches or snakes or spiders, etc. But this time, I was so shocked at my "man's" antics that I just kept looking back and forth between him and Mr. Rat in wide-eyed disbelief. What the heck would he have done if a real danger presented itself??!!
LMAO..this whole post and comments is hilarious!!!
here's a minor one double standard.
Its ok for a group of female friends to go into the restroom at the same time, while if a guy was to look at his friend and say "hey man, come with me to the bathroom" would be considered….interesting.
I STILL LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!