**** Admin Note ****
New poll up! Dating without sex …got it in ya?
- SBM
********************
I’ve grown into an elitist and … unfortunately … it’s not that hard to admit.
The makings of it are all there if you think about it – I was educated at an East Coast Blue-Blood HJCU (Historically Jewish College or University) and I’m an Alpha. I certainly wasn’t raised an elitist though. The only thing blue in my blood growing up was the Houdini Kool-Aid when Gerland’s or Apple Tree had it on special. But gone are the days of after-school, weekend and summer programs telling us how we “can make it” as we play props for photo ops. I made it right? I’m out the hood and got high ass rent to prove it!
So, as an elitist I have come to the conclusion that a college degree of some sort is needed as a prerequisite to get my time and my dick.
Before moving to LA this was never a question, thought, concern or issue. In the South and on the East Coast, it seems as if any given person who can spell their name will be at somebody’s degree granting institution. So then, the criteria would not be just a degree but rather, a degree from the “right” school, you know one with accreditation. But then I got to LA. Where every attractive female I seem to meet lacks that “young professional” edge.
When lamenting my beef with the current state of things in LA, my patnah told me “LA is for flings, not for anything real. Find the hook-up on Lacoste and some concert tickets and settle.” And for the hopeless yet apathetic romantic in me, that’s depressing.
The other day I was at dinner with a young lady and asking her how her acting class was going – because of course that’s what she does because we live in Los Angeles.
Her: “It’s going good. Today was a real tough day, I got a scene assigned so I have a lot of work to do.”
Mr. FAQs: “O ok, that’s wassup. What is the scene from?”
Her: “You ever heard of ‘A Raisin in the Sun’ before? Puff Daddy played in the movie.”
Mr. FAQs: “O yea, I’ve heard of that before.”
And at that point my little love seeking heart flat lined. In this case one of two things is true. 1, she legitimately had NO CLUE that this play was written well before Sean Combs was thought about (1959 according to Wikipedia) and/or 2, she is accustomed to talking to dudes that accept Puff Daddy as a validating character. Either way its unacceptable for me or my dick.
I feel that to often the issue of Black men being forced to settle is trumped by Black women having to settle because you know, every eligible bachelor is either dead or in jail.
Its not that I think a degree is necessary because I want to lie in bed and have intellectually stimulating conversations – that would be occasionally nice but I mean it’s not needed every day. Its more or less a matter of standards. How hard would you clown your friend for falling for the newspaper delivery person?
At the end of the day, it comes down to who you see yourself building with – personally and spiritually. If I have and wish to continue to achieve certain things in life, I need someone by my side who can stack with me and that is not overly concerned with how pretty the bricks are … one reason degree’d want degree’d. And correct me if I’m wrong but dating is how you find that person correct?
Now … I will not call this young lady dumb and I will admit that it will take a lot of effort on my part to allow her and her counterparts to fall by the wayside. And I’m fully aware that I can only blame myself in this at the end of the day. Perhaps if I altered things I do and places I meet people it would be different, but that’s the obvious and that’s besides the point!
So while everybody is pontificating these glowing resolutions, I’m keeping mine nice and simple: All I want in ’09 is a clean pussy with a degree!
*Sigh* I don’t blame you for flat lining when she questioned whether you heard of the play Puffy was in. I’m surprised you didn’t flip the table over in a fit of rage and say “IS U STUPID?”
Well, all I’m tryna say is that I agree. My Love pocket also has a degree requirement. Why? B/c if folks thing cunnilingus is a fungal disease, then they need not go near it. Well, maybe not a degree requirement, as much as an aversion to dummies
LMAO!!! I choked on my water while reading this one.
I’ve found that obtaning a degree is more than “getting a fancy piece of paper”. You also obtain a different lense for viewing and living life.
Mr. FAQ you’re right. If you want to keep going higher you have to have someone who compliments you on your arm when you attend business functions etc… Imagine if you had been at some shinding and the young lady you mentioned made her comment about A Raisin in the Sun
I have question on this topic: Why are minorities that are degreed made to feel guilty because they prefer a partner that’s degreed?
Oh lordy eddie murphy kelly clarkson whyyyy out of all days did I wanna click on this link today lol.
WOW! I probably would have been like for real? I don't know I don't think what you're asking is hard to attain. I believe every single one of my friends is educated and has a clean p*ssy. I think it's a matter of stopping to smell the "right" flowers.
As much as I've tried in theory to be equal opportunity, I've come to accept that I'm the same way. I require a certain level of intelligence and awareness–THAT is what I actually require, not the fancy paper itself– but the reality of the situation is that the people who possess these qualities typically have degrees. Not saying there aren't dumb people with degrees or intelligent people without them, but in general they go hand in hand. I also don't need a guy accusing me of trying to make him feel dumb when I start pontificating on abstract randomness (and really just being silly) when I'm just being myself. I don't want to have to "dumb it down" to connect with someone or made to feel bad when I don't.
One other quality a degree demonstrates is that you have self-discipline and the ability to actually FINISH something. My ex husband never finished a damn thing, so now I appreciate encountering people who actually have a thing called follow-through. And this quality permeates ALL aspects of life.
So I will just say my love application has the line "Degree preferred, but not required" and we all know what that means when a whole bunch of MFs are out of work……
I wish I could agree with this totally. I have been disappointed too many times by women with a degree or degrees that were not that sharp. I realized that everyone does not get the same thing out of going to school.
@ Humble_One
"I have been disappointed too many times by women with a degree or degrees that were not that sharp.I realized that everyone does not get the same thing out of going to school."
Say it again!
I've made this argument before and was accused of misogyny (or something along those lines). I meet at least one sista per week that is studying to get an MBA or a Masters or has one. Can't knock em for it but it is not an accurate indicator of a person's total intellect nor is it a barometer of that person's character/personality. Some things like being exuding sensuality and seduction can't be taught in college.
oh yeah! but her not knowing that "A Raisin in the Sun" is a classic movie with Ms. Ruby Dee and Sidney Poitier is a bummer… how old is this chick????
@ Jubilance:
"… I’ve found that a lot of men I meet self-select themselves out of my life. If I meet a guy and he finds out either what I do, where I work, where I went to school, or what my degrees are in, and he either doesn’t have a degree or has a degree in something like underwater basketweaving, he’ll just leave me alone."
I've experienced the same thing. I mean it sort of keeps me from saying no thanks after finding that he doesn't, but it somewhat shows that some men may still be intimidated by a successful woman. A lot of men still like to feel like they are the man of the house and be the breadwinner. I'm old fashion and like a man to be a man, but if I'm the breadwinner and slightly more educated then that's cool too. As long as he's handling his business, on his grind and at least catching up to me, lol. I kid, I kid… no seriously.
A motivated man and a man that likes a challenge is so sexy to me. He has to come with it, so those intimidated guys can keep it movin.
@ Fullcompelexity
I feel you on wanting to have an outside the box conversation. I'm very unconventional with my thinking which is why seldom find someone that I can truly engage in heavy conversation with. A co-worker lamented about the fact that she hardly has intellectually stimulating conversations except when she is talking to me. My stepfather even says that I'm pretty "non-linear" in my thinking, which is a rarity for young men of my age, particularly black men. Then again, who is ready to engage in conversation with an artsy computer geek bookworm, applied scientist and self-taught auto mechanic?
LMAO @ P Diddles being the first thing to associate with A Raisin in the Sun. But after I laugh, I cry. Sadness, my people.
I can't say I'm fully aboard the "must have degree" train. Though I have a degree, I know that intelligence cannot be defined one way. I'm not saying I'm going to be slummin' it and marry the local newspaper boy (because seriously, my engagement ring will be the plastic that covers the newspapers), but a degree isn't the only way to define success. In fact, if I find a guy who was able to land a job where the average worker has a college degree, I can't knock him for his hustle. In fact, I'd be even more impressed due to
throwin' the CEO's back outthe creativity and ambition involved in landing said job.I always read this site and find it highly entertaining and I normally agree but I NEVER comment. With that said I did find this blog section entertaining but a tad bit onesided. I do not have a degree but yet I make profit of an estimated 14k/month and can discuss anything from the issues in Isreal to the newest coach of the Cleveland Browns…and my female parts are wonderful!
I've owned a small child care center since I was 21 years old and obtained my realtors license at 18. i have decided not to expand because I am 29 and enjoy the freedom I have to travel and act my age. And no i'm not ugly nor fat–34dd and a solid size 4 with a golden caramel complexion, and long natural healthy hair. I understand that this is your preference but you may miss out on something great. Now I'll go back to just reading…Toodles.
I wouldn’t say it’s a degree requirement but a higher level of intelligence requirement. I know people that have gone into the military straight out of high school but are still very intelligent and skilled at a profession due to their training. But it you can’t build with a person then you won’t build at all, complacency is a mofo.
I think its well known that I agree with this argument. I can't say my dick when looking for a temporary situation is looking for a degree … but I would find it hard to be with someone without some type of degree. There is nothing wrong with not going to college … but I just feel like it was such a big part of my life … I don't know if I could be with someone who couldn't relate with me. I will say military is a suitable replacement in most cases.
I used to be really bad about it … me and my undergrad degree having ass wouldn't mess with women without master's. After realizing how dumb some of these Master's having women is … I relaxed that one.
I agree with everything that's being said, wasn't being "onesided" but "my dick has a higher intelligence requirement" just doesn't have the same ring haha
And I don't use my degree as any type of freedom papers in everyday life but I will say its frustarting that things such as "where did you go to school" can become an alienating statement
@Satya
I went to one of the top 15 universities and I never mention it in conversations with women. As long as they know I’m educated, it stops there. This changes if the person went to a similar school. Why? People sometimes do get a little uncomfortable. I dated a chick, who I now regret, that was consistently using it as a reference point whenever I said something she didn’t like…
“You think just cuz you went to Jive University that you know everything. F*ck you n*gga.”
Funny thing is that she had a college degree as well. Needless to say, she’s now with a thug at 26.
This is funny to me for soooo many reasons right now. I met a guy who believes that just because he has a degree, he is now not only qualified to pussy, but that he is qualified and entitled to MY pussy being as that I also have a degree in my possession.
I do agree with you that like need like. To have a real relationship, you have to be able to build outside of the physical and if you can’t even speak the same language, then how you gonna do that?
I don’t however believe that necessarily means a degree. More like good common ass sense and at least make an attempt to be intelligent and well mannered
"I always read this site and find it highly entertaining and I normally agree but I NEVER comment. With that said I did find this blog section entertaining but a tad bit onesided. I do not have a degree but yet I make profit of an estimated 14k/month and can discuss anything from the issues in Isreal to the newest coach of the Cleveland Browns…and my female parts are wonderful!"
@ Nick J…some people don't GET this LOL…particularly our own people. Im anti-higher ed too (liberal arts colleges do this to people and i don't know why LOL) mostly because some of the dumbest boring @zzed people have degree's ..the new bentley is intellectual status…and i really don't give a dayum. This is one of my biggest beefs with black folks and i guess partly because one half of my family did what the other half could not (go to college).
But to me the determining factor for succcess has ALWAYS been about the concept of success and how you see yourself in the world..not how many degrees you got (i mean have)..
@ FAQ i disagree with the assertion that black women don't have options which is why they can relax their standards..i've dated ONE blue collar guy (a cop) in my whole dating life..professional black men are out here..sadly many of them are as boring as the day is long because they think you can impress them with what you have: an education…who told these men thats what seals the deal..some of the dumbest men i know have degrees…in some cases the more advanced the degree the stupider (the more socially inept and isolated)..
@ jubilance and @ reign
i agree wholeheartedly!!!
i puposely often leave my degree out of the conversation early on. being that i was educated at a top ten school, guys may say "you got a degree in what?!? from where?!?" one guy actually told me that if i had told him that before he got to know me, he probably would've assumed he didn't have a chance with me, and he was pretty intelligent in my opinion, and formally educated.
being that im in a sorority, my college experience, like yours mr. FAQS, is a big part of my life. so if i feel like i can't talk to you about my undergrad expereince, then i think you're gonna miss out on a lot of things that made me who i am today.
i think my application prefers a degree, unless i feel like we can really relate to and understand each other w/o it…but if you look at me like im crazy cuz i read books for fun…then we have a real problem!
in some cases the more advanced the degree the stupider (the more socially inept and isolated)..
@Comeback Girl- I couldn't agree more.
My bestfriend from highschool has a PhD, while she is one of the whorish women I know, she is socially inept and boring as hell (other then her wild sexual romps)
As someone stated, I don’t have a degree requirement. It’s more of a degree preference. I would much rather be able to communicate freely without having to dig around in my cerebrum to find a more “common” way of phrasing a thought. However, degrees do not always an intelligent person make.
Somebody say 34DD? Where?
“Can’t knock em for it but it is not an accurate indicator of a person’s total intellect nor is it a barometer of that person’s character/personality. Some things like being exuding sensuality and seduction can’t be taught in college”
Amen, It was it wasn’t ever my intent to down play a college degree or the people that have one. The point I was simply trying to make was that, there are a lot of qualities that a person needs in order to determine if they are going to be successful in a relationship.
I agree having found out if a person went to xyz college and finished does say a lot about them but I shouldn’t make up for every aspect of the relationship. It can enhance the relationship but it certainly doesn’t “qualify ” you to be my future husband.
I believe we have all had a few encounters from both sides some good some bad, and you take these lessons and decide what you want from that…
I can’t knock you for it. just like the man with kids argument this really is no different
Another thing about a degree … its doesn't always equate to smarts … but it usually provides a decent indicator.
I mean … a degree is no guarantee … but the chance that your not a dumb chicken headed hoodrat does go down a little bit.
"I mean … a degree is no guarantee … but the chance that your not a dumb chicken headed hoodrat does go down a little bit."
@ SBM i agree..this might pose a problem when your tryna see who got GF material in a strip club or some other literal hole in the wall..but those degree questions prolly wouldn't need to be asked at an art gallery or a Dr. Cornel West discussion and ironically many who attend both wouldn't necessarily hold a higher ed degree..
my point is instead of the where'd you go to school question…what about ensuring that you meet better people….i dunno…its a stretch …but in BETTER places (degreed or otherwise).
Frat, you need to link up with some of the Sorors out there and nip all this in the bud!
i also find it curious that people put a degree over being a good person.
i don't even go for the "where'd you go to school" i personally also hate the question..my first question is always..how do you see yourself..what is your concept of success.
badda bing badda boom..the answer is always telling.
sadly when i followed the degree…it didn't end well. I ask better questions IN BETTER PLACES to get to better people. where'd you go to school is NOT a better question.
I want to be able to have intellectual conversations. I want to be able to talk about subjects outside of the latest news on Bossip or what Beyonce was wearing in her video. In that sense, I agree. But degree doesn’t always equal intellect. My significant other didn’t finish his degree. He ended up going into the military and now works for the government and is doing better than me! We can talk about anything and everything and he is one of the most intelligent people I know. It’s all about the person. Case by case.
Re: Today's poll.
I am interested in finding out what the percentages are for women vs men. Because, ya know, we gots different standards and such.
I used to say I didn’t have a degree requirement, but recently I’ve stopped faking the funk. I need my future dates and mate to go to somebody’s school and have some kind of piece of paper on the wall.
Being in the sciences, I’ve found that a lot of men I meet self-select themselves out of my life. If I meet a guy and he finds out either what I do, where I work, where I went to school, or what my degrees are in, and he either doesn’t have a degree or has a degree in something like underwater basketweaving, he’ll just leave me alone. *shrugs* Oh well.
I do enjoy being able to have an intelligent intellectual conversation with my mate. I have to be able to talk about more than ESPN clips and what happened on Real Chance of Love. But I’m not an egghead all the time, just some of the time.
I agree with Reina and also MrFaqs overall premise.
Ms Kitty requires a degree in addition to some sort of elevated consciousness. I’m not a brainiac but I like someone that can bring something to the conversation or an opinion, statement, what have you that gets me thinking. A lot of times this is considered being picky but after you’ve experienced dating an array of people you learn what you like and want. What I want is what I want, and I won’t have anything less. Will it take longer to find that right person… possibly. But I’m willing to wait on that man who meets my standards. Yes I said standards. A degree is not my only prerequisite; you still have a whole list to meet to even get a date. Until then, Ms Kitty will only get what she deserves, the best or close to it.
I understand you 100%. I’ve tried to be the person to look outside of the box, but it didn’t work. Maybe I’m too much into academics (I had one dude to tell me I need to get my head out of the books), or maybe I just have a mentality standard…either way, I can not be with someone who isn’t educated post high school…sorry, I just can’t do it.
@Reign: ITA. I don’t subscribe to the theory that whoever makes the most money or has the most degrees is the boss in the house. I will expect and demand that my husband be the head of our family.
I’m veering off into another topic, but over the past couple of years I’ve been so surprised and confused by the number of men who are intimidated by an educated successful woman. I am a chemist, and I’ve had guys self-select out once they hear what I do, even when they are highly educated themselves! I thought maybe it was me, but I’ve heard similar stories from friends who are software engineers, physicists, and pharmacists. Hey SBM, that would be a great topic btw, cause I really don’t understand the phenomenon.
@Why So: Damn … you got me yearning to go out there and find me that nympho economics PhD.
@Comeback: Discrimination is discrimination … whether its a degree or a Cornel West ticket stub. And just like a degree gauruntees nothing … neither does a Roots concert … Cornel West talk … or whatever other better place.
Honestly … the best test I have ever devised was dropping psuedo big words into the conversation to she how she handles them. If she knows them … 3 points. If she doesn't but uses context clues … 2 points. If she just asks politely … 1 point. If she just f*cks up and is way off … -100!
Just a quick tangent, not that I’m defending some girl I dont know or anything, but I dont get mentioning that Puffy played in the movie of “A Raisin in the Sun” makes you stupid. People are MUCH more apt to mention that Oprah and Whoopi were in “The Color Purple” than they are to describe it as written by Alice Walker or having received a Pulitzer. Not sure that makes them dumb either.
All of that said, I dont really care about a degree. It may give us something more in common…it may give us something less in common. I care more about the vibe I get from a person. And if I ever get an erection b/c of some girl telling me about her degree, I’m going to the hospital b/c something is wrong wrong wrong.
@nickij… get that girl!!!!
lmao@ that picture… hysterical…
to some extent I agree with on wanting someone with a degree but college dropouts are like the new graduates… kanye, bill gates just to name a few. I don’t think that a degree makes u automatically well versed on theatrical, black, or white history nor the current events. that comes with being exposed to culture and other things.
I say this as someone not only holding an undergrad degree from a prestigious instituition but I also have a grad degree… degrees ain’t everything!!!
@ Uppity I agree..i think its somewhat of an age thing too…you know college was a big deal to me in 98…ummm 10 years later..i got a whole big world i've been exploring..and it aint got shat to do with linen paper between some leather.
there are really boring places that black men congregate…who ask this stupidness..and that is a Nex'td type of question followed with long conversations on what i or he does..
3 minutes tops..goes longer than 10 BORING..
next
I’m with you. I really don’t mind telling anyone that I won’t give a woman the time of day if she doesn’t at least have a bachelors. I’m working on my 2nd degree and when its all said and done i’ll have 3 degrees. I need someone who is ambitious and intelligent.
I kind of agree with Jubilance. My undergrad degree and my PhD will be in the sciences. A lot of my male friends that do have degrees (or don’t) get intimidated by my female friends/classmates. Oh well.
I can’t agree with this because although I have a degree, I’m vehemently anti-college. One of the most frustrating things I encounter dating is women who overrate their intelligence simply because someone handed them a piece of paper. Most people don’t retain what they learn in college anyway, especially in subjects outside of their major. The only thing a degree means is you paid an institution so you can place an extra line on your resume.
I personally need a woman who I can relate to on an intellectual level. You don’t have to sit in a classroom to do that, as long as you read a newspaper every now and then and read books besides romance novels. In fact, any well educated individual learns most of what they know about the world by reading or studying outside of their required college curriculum.
Perhaps she thought you were young and dumb and mentioned Puff’s name to relate the play to you. She may have met others who did not know the original version of the play and decided to mention the version that people closer to her age might be familiar with.
All I can say is give people a chance. You might want to re-evaluate yourself and what is drawing you to these particular women. Your dick didn’t obtain a degree from a top university, your brain did. Use your brain in picking a woman, not your dick.
I think dating these kinds of women make you feel better about yourself and safe in a sense. You know that you could never commit to a woman like that and you don’t have to worry about getting caught up and getting serious with someone.
what’s more important than having a degree?
what she’s doing with her degree.
I currently know a young lady that has shown no desire since she gradded 2 years ago to do ANYTHING with her degree. I think her plan was to go to cawledge, pick up a man, and let him carry her through life.
errra ummmmm
The most important thing is to have a mix of street smarts and book smarts. While having a degree isn’t end all be all, it is proof of stick-to-itiveness and a desire for something more. I need a woman that can go toe-toe on intellectual issues. That is the pinnacle of sexy. A woman who can fuck like a demon and talk about string theory/global economy after
“You ever heard of ‘A Raisin in the Sun’ before? Puff Daddy played in the movie.” … Wow.
While I attended college, I never matriculated, therefore never received my degree. I decided instead to take the road of the artist and art enthusiast, and I am enjoying my life as such, I cannot say that I don’t seek men that are educated, because I do, but to write them off because they never crossed the stage, received that wonderful piece of linen paper? Absolutely not. I require more than just being able to have a discussion about who went to your undergrad institution or how much that person grosses yearly, I instead want to someone to engage me that knows about the world…and has had the opportunity to participate in making it a bit different.
There are men that I have met that once they learned that I took the dreamer’s route they have dismissed me from their rolodex, but I have since decided that if that’s all that it took to be removed…well perhaps I should have never been added.
Oh and because that young lady used Diddy as her litmus test…we’ll simply ask that she learns there were plays written for us and by us prior to Tyler Perry…
But I respect not only your opinion, but the fact that you are up front and open with this when you are dating…you are up front and open with this information, correct?
Either way its unacceptable for me or my dick. ***dead***
I wasn’t sure this was okay to say. I have a degree requirement too, and I’m afraid it’s starting to get higher and higher the older I get. Let me explain:
My first real boyfriend was Junior year of college. I loved him. He taught me so many things I never knew before and really helped me to grow as a person. He was a smart guy, loved to read, wrote poetry and literally charmed the panties right offa me! His only problem was he wasn’t in school, and was barely making it working at UPS. That was cool until I got closer to graduation. I soon found out dude had never even taken the SAT’s! How could I possibly consider a future with him? What would he tell our kids after high school, go get a job? I let it go for that and other reasons.
After graduation I’ve only dated guys with degrees. Mostly engineers, med students, or at least dudes working towards that MBA. I know an outsider might look at me and say I’m a lil’ gold-digger in training considering that’s all I date. But it has more to do with them being able to keep up with my thought pattern and maturity level. And I don’t seek them out, they just find me.
It’s great to have someone I can talk to bout anything and that can tell me about an advanced field in depth. Teach me some stuff I don’t know. The conversations are mind-blowing, thoughtful, and informative. At heart, I’m nerd myself so things always work out when matching intelligence.
The only down side is some guys have been in the books so long that they haven’t ever had real relationships and don’t know how to act while in one. My ex certainly has them all beat in terms of emotional intelligence. Nevertheless, I’m still keeping my degree requirement and don’t seem to have trouble finding men who measure up in that regard (Thank Goodness and knock on wood)
Sorry for the extra long post I just had to get that off my chest.
Wow! I can hear it now, “You need a degree to love me ba-by!”
what a great post to draw me in! lol I’ll most def be back.
I had a two degree [one higher than the other] requirement for husband – and myself – so I totally agree with this post. There is nothing wrong with having standards …
@ Hugh Jazz thats the point my man, I too hold a degree (film) and hated college so much I wrote a movie on it!!!! Its stupid, the method in which to pay which leaves you more broker than going to Vegas…if you not in a “paid discipline” it maybe counterproductve to go to college.
As for retaining info…shit I has a crim justice roommate the book he and his classmates were to read was ALL GODS CHILDREN some four hundred pages and starting in the 17th century they never touched..well I did and that started my “pay for test” hustles. I schooled my roomate and his boys the entire semester, got em for rides, laundry money weed you name it. I the end its what you want in life and the path to get there..runnin a business maybe but not really…working for corp America no question. Any of the science you’ll have to go and yea maybe fininshed..note Bill Gates doesnt write code or put the chips together he is like the Russell Simmons of computers…again he RAN Microsoft not making the chips but even that cant and isnt the total domain of college. College is too stiff for the Moore’s Law Universe of computer physics…yet most of the top designers are in MIT. If you didnt go then whats in its place has to be comprable and you should never (if you are the one without it) make it an issue..ever unless you talking about goin to get it.
When dating I don’t require a degree, although I am finishing my undergrad. The most important thing to me is that you are fairly intelligent. You can hold a decent informative conversation about a variety of subjects and we both learn something from each other.
Most of my friends have degrees and don’t know half the ish I know. Majority of what I know comes from my own research. My friends with degrees are consistently asking me about ish they should know. So having a degree doesn’t mean squat to me. I really like a guy who reads alot because that means he is seeking knowledge on every level.
Being east coast born, raised and educated i recently relocated to LA area for my career and feel your pain. there is a serious lack of young black educated professionals and venues for young black professionals in southern cali(compared to east coast). There are lots of pretty women but a lot lack substance, I have met many beautiful females that still live at home, work dead end jobs and chasing hollywood dreams. there is nothing wrong with chasing your dream but at some point you have a plan B(skill or education) if hollywood doesn't work, b/c not everyone can be the next Nia Long. When i mentioned to other black here that there is an abundance of black professionals on the east coast they are amazed, its kinda sad to me that alot of black here in cali think that the only way a black person can succeed is via hollywood or sports:(
I know I'm late, but I just got hooked on this blog today. I'm so glad to hear that there are some men out there with a degree requirement for their 'goodies'. I thought it was just me! Good looking out Frat!
(Yeah its late, cuz i just recently found out about this site)
I need to figure out where you black professionals are because me and my girls interestingly face the EXACT same dilemma! LOL! It's hilarious that the same can be said about the men out here in L.A., EVERYONE we've met is either a rapper on the "up-n-up" (local, or unheard of), a model, an actor, a singer, a promoter, and its quite disheartening!lol! Not to say that those aren't gratifying and worth-while pursuits, but the fact is the probability of them "making it" is quite slim when considering the odds, and also their lack of "GRIND" or hustle (for lack of better terms) which u can pick up when asking about what they're doing to attain their goal…Often times its depicts a man with dreams that will forever stay dreams! …Oh this is the best one I've heard, the men will tell you they hustle for a living (a jack of all trades i'm told)…that i have yet to figure out exactly what it means. I don't grill the men with Qs the first day i meet them, but as you get to know them, You learn to not be surprised that they will end up in the "friend" category"…Needless to say, their jobs aren't the problem, their lack of substance is the issue. I like being approached i'm not gonna lie and Please keep the compliments coming, but dang, can the convo be more than the shoes i'm wearing or better yet, the abs you've worked so hard to attain (not that i'm hating on muscles, we all love a little built :p )! But dang, can we add social issues from time to time, and maybe some politics even (maybe not, i get passionate about it sometimes, lol)… Anyways, L.A. men have a stigma, they only want u as arm candy, and/or for the booty, it would be nice if ONE men would break that mold…Handsome, with a functional brain in that head, u know one who speaks substance, cherishes an educated sister who has balance, is professional, knows how to get down when needed, etc… We (my girls and I) even have a rule of thumb when it comes to meeting L.A. guys (clearly they aren't men yet, I think), They won't last for more than two weeks!
You talked about lack of substance with the women, HAh! me and my girls should start up a BLOG about the funny ish we meet out here in L.A.!lol! Im currently in med school and by no means do i even mention it in convo and most of my friends are either in grad school, or building their professional careers but its never held as a standard for the opposite sex. Our life's journeys may not have allowed us the same privileges…(my father is brilliant in spite of life's opportunities not being in his favor) That being said, is it asking for a lot to have some ambition, an intellectual convo, and just a little bit of drive? I know when i go out in L.A. that i won't find a beautiful black man with substance unless he's a transplant (from up North or out-of-state)! I hope I'm one day proven wrong.
Now that i am done with my rant, where do you black educated brothers hang out?
man shut the fuck up