..but shawty you don’t know me
One time I was out for drinks with a group of friends, some of us had invited guests while others were out looking for future guests to invite.
One of the chicks my patnah had invited didn’t know anyone in our group so naturally, she gravitated towards the other females. Made small talk, laughed, interacted well – real sweet girl.
So I’m standing waiting at the bar when my patnah leans over and says to his brother’s girlfriend, “You don’t need to become her best friend but just make sure she’s iight you know?”
And while I have never put my finger on it … or tried to articulate it to others, I knew exactly what he was saying. He was not trying to be disrespectful in anyway, but this was his way of saying, “I’m not to sure where this is going but don’t YOU be the one to give the wrong impression on the future.”
Well I’m an asshole and in general … I just don’t like people. Some might even say I’m “a cold-hearted bastard.” That being said, I really don’t care who you’re “seeing” – use your own definition - nor do I feel a need to even know them … unless of course your getting married (having a baby with the person used to count … but that’s too common at this point).
Maybe its because I am a guy but I think that women more often than men forge this quest for relevance with the homies than a guy may with her homegirls. “Maybe if they like me too … they won’t let him cheat on me.”
But on some occasions, this “let me get close to the friends” can backfire and leave her looking like even more of a dumbass.
Drunk Chick: You need to talk to your boy.
Mr. FAQs: [awkward laugh] Who?
Drunk Chick: Intel.
Mr.FAQs: *thinking to self* Why is she even talking to me? I don’t like that ni**a … and I’ve meet her like once.
Drunk Chick: Why does he always do this? Do you see him? He’s got a good women right here, you need to let him know.
Hmmm…FAQs you might be on to something. This doesn't really ever happen to me…but i'd say that you probably shouldn't get into "domestic affairs"
Hmm…yeah, this whole phenomenon is really interesting. I've been in this same situation because I've always had a lot of male friends. Some chick will start dating one of the dudes in the clique (which always turned out to be one of the assholes, btw) and she would always look to me when ish went down. Unlike most females I know, I've always HATED drama and gossip so I was accused of being some type of traitor because I was ambivalent to the inner sanctum of their "relationship". I felt like she knew who dude was from jump, so why be surprised at my empty stare and lack of response when dude kept doing him, and whoever else he wanted? Hell, my name is Bennett…and you know the rest.
I agree with you. And I think it's ole dudes fault for bringing a chick that he's not serious with around his boys. To me and the guys I've dated, meeting best friends and family is a huge deal. So if you bring her around them then you're starting ish yourself making her think it's something when it's not. I can't say it's rude because peeps sometime think I'm a B. You have your ways and if I was you, I would have said what you said in your head out loud. She needs to be called out. Hmmm… not to turn on some females but if the stupid ones get called out more often maybe they'll change their ways, catch a clue. idk
you are not wrong; I don't like anyone, either, but I have this one friend and her dudes are always wack as all hell in my book. I'm cordial, but we ain't friends, dude, so don't waste your time trying to get me on your side. Beat it!
I agree with Reign and NY. Beat it brawd. I just hate how some dumb women think they can change men, then are all jaded about love when dude *gasp* effs them over. ::Yawn::. I have a friend who married a dude that beat her while she was pregnant with her first child. Now dude knocked her up after she quit her job because things were going well and GUESS WHAT?? Yep, he bounced. So now he has 6 (known) kids that he is not helping take care of. WHAT THEE FU** made her think he was gon' get some git rite all of a sudden?
::Gets on megaphone::
B***H I TOLD YOUR DUMB ASS SO!!
Oh shit….I've been "Drunk Chick" before! That was back in my younger more immature days. I've also been in Golden Lady's position before and usually responded with the same blank stare unless I thought the girl was really sweet and then I'd try to at least break it down for her so she wouldn't continue to play herself.
1. Everyone's entitled to act accordingly polite based on how they perceive certain individuals. Me, I am not one to disclose any personal information, but I will try to be cordial with the visitor. Yet I'd like to think that we've all have been in positions to where we've been the new guy/girl and wanted to at least be social with the environment and its inhabitants even if it's temporarily.
Yet I also agree with Reign -And I think it’s ole dudes (females) fault for bringing a chick (dude) that she/he’s not serious with around his/her fam. This is something that I consider to be almost like visiting the Queen of England , it's rather challenging. You have to show yourself worthy, and put in work. LOL!
2. As for the woman being drunk, how can you take what she's saying to be 100? Just nod and move around! No need for anymore ridicule on her behalf, as I'm sure she's aware of her situation that's way she's trying to openly discuss it.
This is a funny post, but I feel you 100%. This happens way too often, people thinking that they "know you like that" when really you could care less.
Yeah, I think in general, you shouldn't pick up other people's baggage, especially if you have enough baggage of your own. Don't break your back, now!
I despise humans so I share your sentiment, FAQ.
Ugh to a chick that is insecure, drunk and running her damned mouth. This is also why I don't bring chicks I'm just "seeing" to family events or any event she will be around people I know…UNLESS WE'RE SOLIDIFIED.
**laughs to self because I was once that chick**
I had to learn the hard way that it doesn't matter what mom or boys think of you. If dude doesn't want you, he doesn't want you. Nothing can make dude stay but himself. And that's how I operate. If I have a problem and need to talk about it, I talk to my close friend of almost 10 years.
So, no, you're not wrong. You're smart. Stay out of other people's drama.
CPT: Abt yesterday…yep I think a spanking. Secondly, I need a hug. Are you available for those?
I don't think you were wrong. She was totally out of order for sure!
who does that lame azz shat
actually think that it will work in your favor LMFAO….WOW its alot bamas in the world and I would hope most brawds ain't that stupid LOL…playing nice with a nuccas friends guarantees nothing, play too nice and the friend(s) will think they can hit/smash…
errr umm…WOW..i just think erry chick should be inspired to NOT be blog fodder. Or at least in a dehumanizing way. The sad part of this all is that women want men, and sometimes at any cost, no matter what "superficial" alliances we can build in an hour.
she was out of pocket…but hey what do i know.
I actually disagree with you. There are instance where a FwB/JO is trying to get out of that category so she tries to meet ppl in your life. However, you want to pacify her for just a tad bit longer so you can keep gettin the heady wops while you find another FwB/JO. So you bring around your boys b/c they're not as sacred as your fam. The thing is that you have to be very careful while doing this. Number one: you must forwarn your friends, number two: make sure that no one else brings their girl b/c if they do that's gonna mess up the hook up that you can get with ya boy's girl's friends.
Good blog topic. Btw, be careful how you use the term patnah…that has different meanings in different parts of the country.lol.
Peyso are you a youngin??? if so you get a pass…. but um that whole WACK stradegy doesn't work son, thats the problem LMAO!!!!!
And once a man categorizies some brawd as JO/FwB seldom does she ever get out of that slot….its wack young to even be strategically planning your way into someone heart
SMH!!!!! Love/real emotional attachment to someone doesn't work that way…..but thats a whole nother convo bout manipulators=vampires and such
@ Kwana: I'm saying that's what I used to do back in college (read last year). I wasn't trying to get into her heart, I was just trying to stay in her pants. And I know she couldnt get out the category but I dont think she understood that. It worked like a charm but I'm done with those ways….
LOL……I was speaking bout a female trying to plan her way into El Corozon not dudes doing that, not working etc…to lead folk on, play folk etc and not let them know whats really going on, gving them an option, is equally WACK tho!
Glad you have learned the error of those ways!
*point of clarification: the two stories occurred at dif times involving dif people…but yea, that doesn't really change the premise*
@ reign: yea, I agree. This aint middle and high school were u got to meet the entire family before u can go out.
@ slim: really though? Hahaha
This is all bullshyt and fyckery and I'm calling it right now.
"Perhaps its because I stay out of peoples business (if I don’t know ish then I can’t be involved in or accountable for ish), but am I wrong to feel this way? Is it rude? I’m not saying that I will change …but … some others thoughts would be nice."
Staying out of folks business is very good… I do it all the time and it's served me right.. why on earth would you even want to put yourself in the position of drama?
Tell her to kick rocks.
Good points, but sometimes it's the other way around. The people who you get to know think more of the relationship than it is and make it (or try to, at least) more difficult for the parties involved to walk away.
The BD's mother thinks the world of me, but just doesn't get it … even compares his little brother's GF/jumpoffs to me, saying "She'll never be Lena" like I'll ever be her DIL.
I guess I said that to say, it's not always the girl (or guy) who's trying to get in all good, but the fam that asserts itself onto the person (and into the relationship).
Hmmmm….don't know what happened to my comments but…
@Jac: That is acceptable, just don't be trying to grope my hiney.
@Nicki: I can always get at you when I return from Jamaica…I'll be a toasty brown then.
@Comebackgirl
As far as blog fodder is concerned, most of the ladies that qualify for that are lucky that I'm too unmotivated and uninspired to do what I do best: draw them and portray them in their natural state.
@CPT-Oh no…I know better than to go for a man's hine parts…besides it's what's in the front I like
Geez…blog fodder thing made me run go clean the bathroom…can't have anybody talking about me
ugh…i hate people too…
sadly, i agree whole heartedly with this blog post and the only thing i can say is 2 cheers and if ur ever in atl, let's get a drink…
@ Jac:
Well after reading these posts, I realize that if I were to ever get into a relationship with someone who blogs that I'd be in for it. Wouldn't you all just love to hear about the havoc I could cause to a woman's life?
@CPT
I blog…but my real relationship wouldn't make the cut. I'm sorry but that's personal and I don't need everybody in the US and abroad to know. I'd rather work it out with my man and not him and my constituency…and havoc..what havoc..in fact.. you know what I'm open if you are… :p
I have seen this happen everywhere and I have always that thought maybe it was me…Maybe I'm just evil and that's I look at these random chicks like they are random hoes…since I too have many male friends and they always want to befriend me….Nope…I have all the friends that I need.
And it's rather interesting that your boy told the young lady told her not to become besties with the new chick, considering that I am often telling my boys that I'll be polite enough that she isn't uncomfortable…but I don't need to be BFF's!
"@Nicki: I can always get at you when I return from Jamaica…I’ll be a toasty brown then."
LOL.. I need u to go to the tanning bed to maintain it. LOL
Hmmm…you definitely aren't in the wrong…she was out of line, but I do detect the 'asshole-ish' in you.