The most random of ish happens to Mr. FAQs on a hourly basis and I continuously find myself in situations that friends have described as “only you” occurrences since I was a youngin.
The other day I was exiting the restroom of an establishment while texting on my Blackberry, momentarily oblivious to my surroundings.
Random Dude: “Say, my phone died on me, can I use your phone to make a quick call.”
Mr.FAQs: (f**k, I hate when people touch my ish, especially mofo’s I don’t know, I don’t know where this n***gaz been. If I would have been paying attention could have been past this foo) “Oh yea man, no problem I know how that goes.”
Dead phone has happened to everybody, why not help this brother out. I passed my phone as I positioned myself so as to block this cat from running off with my Berry.
So dude makes a couple calls back-to-back, guess he’s having trouble reaching them. Then he begins to leave a message. That’s when I think “WTF only you!”
Random Dude: “Yo look here! I know I said I was gonna call you back and I’m a hour late and s**t but I don’t appreciate you not picking up your damn phone! Got me calling you 10, 12 times from different numbers and s**t, I don’t appreciate that at all…”
I stopped listening, my thoughts suddenly preoccupied by, “10,12 times from different numbers and s**t.” What was wrong with this dude? Had it gotten that bad? He ended the call and passed back my phone as I tried to look at the wall and act like he wasn’t a foot away and I had witnessed it all.
I shared the events with a couple of the homies on some we got some laughs but deep down, the events bothered me, just didn’t sit well. Would I ever become this crazy person in public? In front of a stranger at that? That’s when I began to think, WWPCD? – What Would Pimp C Do?
I go to Pimp C, Bun B and UGK often for advice. The song that came to mind for this particular circumstance was “I’m
So Bad,” which tells the trials of a young man (Sweet James Jones) dealing with relationship issues that aren’t necessarily going so smoothly: one chick has an attitude, another only concerned with his money. So how does Pimp C deal? He tells them (repeatedly) in the the chorus, “I’m so bad, I can suck my own dick.” (I guess for the ladies, you can be so bad you can lick your own clit).
“I’m So Bad” was the male version of Beyonce’s “To The Left” before Ne-Yo wrote Beyonce’s “To The Left,” and its sage advice. Never in life should we allow an individual (no matter the capacity or intimacy level of the relationship) effect our mental well being.
“Get your ratchet ass out my f***kin do,” he tells the first. “You can start walkin,” he tells the other. Granted it could in deed be true love, most everyone is in fact replaceable after a proper period of mourning. Before we start to say or do things that may hurt ourselves or others, we should be the adults that we are and not trip. Tripping gets you no where and you will probably end up regretting it. Just ask Chris Brown.
Sometimes I tend to take the “I’m So Bad” theory to heart so much so that a couple non-responses and you just might find yourself deleted, with no remorse from Mr. FAQs.
So the next time somebody is trying to drive you to trip just think WWPCD? and remember, “I don’t need you anyway trick, huh, cause I’m so bad I can suck my own m*********n dick.”
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueQKuIptDAU]
I have definitely been in this position to the point where I can say been there, done that, got the t-shirt, book deal, and even got customized materials to show for it. I think everyone gets a little out of whack at times, there’s just a certain level that you should stop on and inflicting pain on yourself and others would definitely be that level. Basically when random people begin to give you that awkward stare, yea you might wanna chill.
*side note*This was in my opinion one of their best cds and the founding sound to emerge from the Dirty South!!!! During that time, I had no business jamming it but I did and all day to the point where I knew each and every lyric,pause, and hesitation like a true H-town representa. UGK 4 Life, R.I.P. the Pimp! LOL!!!
This is one of the funniest stories ever.LOL. I do feel a little compassion for him but that doesn’t make him any less of a joke. Ten or 12 times? His pimp hand has definitely gone soft.
I think I would have looked around to check for Ricky Smiley because a storie like that just doesn’t seem possible.LMAO.
I would have been trying to drill a hole in the ground like the Tazmanian Devil to get out of there…pure comedy! I think I'm a little too prideful to act a fool in public…maybe its the Leo in me. I have had some wicked thoughts though. I don't think I could allow a dude to take me there. I'd rather cut my losses if I see stuff going south.
1. first off let me just say the song seems a little gay to me. If he was being literal (which he wasn't) it's just gross..i can't get over it..i'll be back
that is all…lol
and faq sweetie if u ever in real life tell some one that you will sick your own dick, i'll creamate myself, i promise..lol
I had a girlfriend who met this guy (we double dated a few weeks back) and long story short, he never called back. She has texted him at least 5 times and called at least 3 (those are only the ones that I know about). Now, I think that's going a little psycho.
She told me she kept doing it because she couldn't understand why he didn't want her. She said she's never had a situation like that before, where she didn't get what she wants.
Maybe that is what dives people nuts.
this is good… really good… this is definitely something that the people need to read!!!
i did happen to write a blog similar to this on the whole "i need a man syndrome". i just don't understand why people become so pressed about the opposite sex that it drives them crazy. i mean, dick will always be dick and pussy will always be pussy–though some better then others–but it should never be the source of you going crazy…
excellent mr. faq… excellent
Great post!
@ladebelle
"dick will always be dick and pussy will always be pussy"
Shout it from the mountain top sista! Stay classy folks – don't be pressed!
RIP Pimp C (with your ignorant azz!)…UGK4life
Dude who borrowed your phone was a loser, plain and simple.
Funny story…
I guess that's why they say "drunk with love" because you do things you wouldn't do if you were sober. It seem like he was lying when he said his phone died, I think he just wanted to use another number to trip her up. I have to admit that I've done the 10-12 times in a row, blocking and unblocking my number multiple times. Oh the embarrassment, do not judge me, ha ha.
I think you have to do the "drunken" things until you gain enough confidence to "suck your own d!ck". You sober up, but be sure not to get so "Drunk with Ego" that you never open yourself up. Trial and error I guess?
When I'm feeling love sick, I listen to Lauryn Hill's Ex-Factor and Mary J's Not Gon' Cry. Follow with J.Legend's Used to Love You and end with K.Cole's I Don't Love You No More. I think that takes me through the emotional spectrum, until I'm feeling like Ms. Labelle again, I Love You, Want You, Need You.
HAHAHA, hilarious. Not only does dude look a bit sad for having to use your phone, but he's much to eager, AND he already asked 10 other random folks to use their phone…AND admitted it in front of you.
A few years ago I was walking home from class, and this dude rolled up in his CAR and asked can he use my phone. IN HIS CAR. LMAO. Ninja, was I born TODAY?! I mumbled something about not having a lot of minutes left (bold-faced lie) and went on my merry way (cracking up inside). Nice try, not-so-slick.
I've had this situation happen to me quite recently except the number was much higher and it's not the only time it has happened. Let's just say, my p*ssy can only take so much d*ck within one weeks period. The guy I'm fucking (Fwb), called my cell phone about 10 times, then my house phone 10 times more. He called another 10 times in the middle of the night. Wait, there's more. He decides to park his car outside my house and play love songs. Like, what the hell are you doing? Of course he acts like nothing happened and proceeded to say I miss you and I love you. In the end, he got what he wanted…
Love "and" lust takes over us sometimes and makes us do things we won't normally do. It's a shame that it gets the best of us.
Love and Insecurity are a disastrous combination. That is all. Good Bye.
That is the gayest thing ever!
It only reinforces my theory that pimp culture is homo-culture on the DL. Grown men with long flowy hair and flamboyant dress. Ya'll ain't fooling nobody. SMH
All I have to say … is thanks to Mr. FAQs for incorporating UGK into the post … they will be rocked all day.
I hope it doesn't turn me into some arrogant d**k slanging mofo when I go out tonight … oh wait … too late
You let a stranger borrow your phone? I can't EVER allow that. I also can't be repeating that phrase…out loud OR in print. I had to laugh when you ask what would Pimp C do b/c all I'm thinking about now is pimped out jet skis (sea doo). You can't be a pimp on a jet ski, can you? I digress.
I think all of us have had one person in our life that we kinda can't let go.
Classified as… The Crazy B!tch or Crazy Muthaeffa.
Hate to say…I think I may have been that CB for one person or another…maybe…sorta.
Lending out the cell? Umm, sorry, I don't understand…lol
LMAO!!!!!!!!!! And I LOVE WWPCD!!! I am going to have to use that one since one of Pimp Chad's many monikers is my blog alias.
the song made my ears bleed
"I know I said I was gonna call you back and I’m a hour late "
Is no one else getting that dude was getting ignored because he was dead wrong? This is an MO. Don't call her back, ignore her calls, stand her up then come with the excuses and please baby please, baby baby baby please.
If you're so bad…you don't have to tell people…they already know.