Comments on: She Smashed The Homie! http://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/04/22/she-smashed-the-homie/ The Source For Black Male Perspective Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:52:02 +0000 hourly 1 By: Eric from Fort Myershttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/04/22/she-smashed-the-homie/#comment-45510 Eric from Fort Myers Sat, 28 Nov 2009 09:12:05 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=1533#comment-45510 THATS CRAZY DAWG THATS CRAZY DAWG

]]> By: Kwana in DChttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/04/22/she-smashed-the-homie/#comment-31301 Kwana in DC Fri, 24 Apr 2009 12:41:00 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=1533#comment-31301 Street you said you could ARGUE everybody is seconds, or whateva and I said to that everybody isn't your homie....thats what this post was about right???? Anna K someone a friend flirted with ain't the same as dealing with/screwing etc......theres a world of diff there. Street you said you could ARGUE everybody is seconds, or whateva and I said to that everybody isn't your homie….thats what this post was about right????

Anna K someone a friend flirted with ain't the same as dealing with/screwing etc……theres a world of diff there.

]]> By: Vanessa aka Miss Vhttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/04/22/she-smashed-the-homie/#comment-31289 Vanessa aka Miss V Fri, 24 Apr 2009 09:25:26 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=1533#comment-31289 i'm going to keep this simple... if a dude i was interested in holla'd at one of my good friends but nothing happened, then it's ok, i'd still pursue him (but only if i thought he was THAT fly). but, if he actually SMASHED or was in a relationship with a good friend, it's a no-go... i'm going to keep this simple… if a dude i was interested in holla'd at one of my good friends but nothing happened, then it's ok, i'd still pursue him (but only if i thought he was THAT fly). but, if he actually SMASHED or was in a relationship with a good friend, it's a no-go…

]]> By: Remihttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/04/22/she-smashed-the-homie/#comment-31112 Remi Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:34:30 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=1533#comment-31112 @ Anna N. - LOL @ "Not only do we have totally different tastes in men, but our Ex List reads something like America’s Most Unwanted. I wouldn’t wish some of them on my worst enemy." - Unfortunately, this is true for myself and my friends. @ Anna N. – LOL @ "Not only do we have totally different tastes in men, but our Ex List reads something like America’s Most Unwanted. I wouldn’t wish some of them on my worst enemy." – Unfortunately, this is true for myself and my friends.

]]> By: streetztalkhttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/04/22/she-smashed-the-homie/#comment-31108 streetztalk Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:54:00 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=1533#comment-31108 Whats crazy is that we spoke on this topic on my weekly show: The NonStopRadio Show <a href="http://streetztalk.net/2009/04/21/nonstopradio-show-episode-3-what-whose-sexin-my-ex/" rel="nofollow">http://streetztalk.net/2009/04/21/nonstopradio-sh...</a> Check that out as many people had different POVs I've smashed the homies, and I liked it, lolol Whats crazy is that we spoke on this topic on my weekly show:

The NonStopRadio Show
http://streetztalk.net/2009/04/21/nonstopradio-sh…

Check that out as many people had different POVs

I've smashed the homies, and I liked it, lolol

]]> By: journey78http://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/04/22/she-smashed-the-homie/#comment-31107 journey78 Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:48:51 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=1533#comment-31107 @Anna--The confession was just for my amusement, no apologies for the situation ever in life. It has been 10 years since college and all of us stayed cool over the years. The dude just took his pregnant fiancee to the homies wedding and passed along my sincerest joys. Maturity at its finest. As for the new situation...it's complicated. I have always had a longstanding rule of not going behind my girlfriends but then again we've always had vastly different tastes. On this one he's not my stee-lo but the fact that I would even consider it should cause my girl to accept that its not me trying to disrespect her. I wasn't eyeing him while they were together (and she knows this) and he somehow has washed of the "used to mess with my girl" repellent that I spray on all my girls' dudes. *shrug* It's a mess I know. LOL. @Anna–The confession was just for my amusement, no apologies for the situation ever in life. It has been 10 years since college and all of us stayed cool over the years. The dude just took his pregnant fiancee to the homies wedding and passed along my sincerest joys. Maturity at its finest.

As for the new situation…it's complicated. I have always had a longstanding rule of not going behind my girlfriends but then again we've always had vastly different tastes. On this one he's not my stee-lo but the fact that I would even consider it should cause my girl to accept that its not me trying to disrespect her. I wasn't eyeing him while they were together (and she knows this) and he somehow has washed of the "used to mess with my girl" repellent that I spray on all my girls' dudes. *shrug* It's a mess I know. LOL.

]]> By: Tiffany Nicolehttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/04/22/she-smashed-the-homie/#comment-31106 Tiffany Nicole Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:37:50 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=1533#comment-31106 All I gotta say is PREACH! No way on God's green earth will I date a dude you I knowingly kicked it with one of my girls. That's a no-no in the sista-girl hoodom! Somethings are just off limits! A pig with pink lipstick is still a pig! All I gotta say is PREACH!

No way on God's green earth will I date a dude you I knowingly kicked it with one of my girls. That's a no-no in the sista-girl hoodom! Somethings are just off limits! A pig with pink lipstick is still a pig!

]]> By: Anna N.http://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/04/22/she-smashed-the-homie/#comment-31105 Anna N. Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:25:46 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=1533#comment-31105 Hey Remi - trust is a valid point. Maybe your girl was eyeing your man prior to y'all breaking up. Unless she's blind, she's gonna see him, and there may have been some unspoken bit of chemistry. But I would still give her a pass if she had nothing to do with the break-up. And I do mean NOTHING to do with the break-up. But I see where you're coming from - even if ole girl is totally beyond reproach you'll always be wondering, "Did she...?" Then y'all can't be friends. The mind is not easily controlled, but our actions are our own. The true test of how good of a friend I am is not "Do I find any of my girls' men attractive?" it's "Would I act on an attraction to one of my girls' men?" And about that "in the past for a good reason".....you ain't nevah lied! Despite my rather vigorous defense of the Second Helping Crew I've never dated the ex of a friend or had a friend date my ex. Not only do we have totally different tastes in men, but our Ex List reads something like America's Most Unwanted. I wouldn't wish some of them on my worst enemy. @Journey78 - why do I envision you holding a little white candle when you made your confession? LOL! Do you girl - no apologies! Get a decade of distance from your college years and you'll barely remember the names of your college homies, let alone who they were smashing and when. Hey Remi – trust is a valid point. Maybe your girl was eyeing your man prior to y'all breaking up. Unless she's blind, she's gonna see him, and there may have been some unspoken bit of chemistry. But I would still give her a pass if she had nothing to do with the break-up. And I do mean NOTHING to do with the break-up. But I see where you're coming from – even if ole girl is totally beyond reproach you'll always be wondering, "Did she…?" Then y'all can't be friends.

The mind is not easily controlled, but our actions are our own. The true test of how good of a friend I am is not "Do I find any of my girls' men attractive?" it's "Would I act on an attraction to one of my girls' men?"

And about that "in the past for a good reason"…..you ain't nevah lied! Despite my rather vigorous defense of the Second Helping Crew I've never dated the ex of a friend or had a friend date my ex. Not only do we have totally different tastes in men, but our Ex List reads something like America's Most Unwanted. I wouldn't wish some of them on my worst enemy.

@Journey78 – why do I envision you holding a little white candle when you made your confession? LOL! Do you girl – no apologies!

Get a decade of distance from your college years and you'll barely remember the names of your college homies, let alone who they were smashing and when.

]]> By: Britthttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/04/22/she-smashed-the-homie/#comment-31104 Britt Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:22:53 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=1533#comment-31104 It's interesting how Danger smashed a homie but didn't know him and Ray J were homies. I know there is such a thing as a JO, but even they hang around the house and make sausage biscuits sometime. If my homegirl smashed but she never mentioned this dude, I probably wouldn't care. If she had then I am just grimy. It's interesting how Danger smashed a homie but didn't know him and Ray J were homies. I know there is such a thing as a JO, but even they hang around the house and make sausage biscuits sometime.

If my homegirl smashed but she never mentioned this dude, I probably wouldn't care. If she had then I am just grimy.

]]> By: nikkhttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/04/22/she-smashed-the-homie/#comment-31103 nikk Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:04:54 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=1533#comment-31103 I scrolled right past the comments, really, because i didn't want to salt my opinion. When you're grown minded, you realize how hard it is to meet someone that feels like you, that you could see TRYING to make it happen with. When you're young minded, it's not so hard, because the criteria is a little simpler. Usually, keep it hot, keep it sexy and we can kick it. That's usually temporary, because eventually, somebody involved starts needing something with more substance. If you've met someone, that's "smashed" the homie(s), and you know it immediately, i wouldn't even bother to take it there. Nip that thang in the bud. Period. But if this info pops up after you've made a connection, you'd be stupid to throw someone away because of looking bad to the crew. At that point, the only real way to decide is to look at the relationship, if ANY, that the other person had w/ your homie(s...lol). If they were a jump-off, then they will forever in the eyes of people you respect be a jump-off. If you considered that (even w/o mentioning it) then it's gonna eat you alive forever. Easy decision. If that other person actually spent quality TIME w/your homie(s...all of em' - WHAT!), then that's a different situation. Maybe she/he's just cool ass beans, and YOU ended up with them. Maybe worthy of your people knowing what your girl/guy tastes like... Especially if they were and are quite tasty - physically AND mentally ;-)... The only problem THEN is keeping an eye on your homie(s) (from flashbacking)... If you're okay on that end, then do what feels good to you. People will always have something to say. Fuck em. I scrolled right past the comments, really, because i didn't want to salt my opinion.

When you're grown minded, you realize how hard it is to meet someone that feels like you, that you could see TRYING to make it happen with. When you're young minded, it's not so hard, because the criteria is a little simpler. Usually, keep it hot, keep it sexy and we can kick it. That's usually temporary, because eventually, somebody involved starts needing something with more substance.

If you've met someone, that's "smashed" the homie(s), and you know it immediately, i wouldn't even bother to take it there. Nip that thang in the bud. Period.

But if this info pops up after you've made a connection, you'd be stupid to throw someone away because of looking bad to the crew. At that point, the only real way to decide is to look at the relationship, if ANY, that the other person had w/ your homie(s…lol). If they were a jump-off, then they will forever in the eyes of people you respect be a jump-off. If you considered that (even w/o mentioning it) then it's gonna eat you alive forever. Easy decision.

If that other person actually spent quality TIME w/your homie(s…all of em' – WHAT!), then that's a different situation.

Maybe she/he's just cool ass beans, and YOU ended up with them. Maybe worthy of your people knowing what your girl/guy tastes like… Especially if they were and are quite tasty – physically AND mentally ;-) …

The only problem THEN is keeping an eye on your homie(s) (from flashbacking)… If you're okay on that end, then do what feels good to you. People will always have something to say. Fuck em.

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