***** Admin Note *****
Still got new isht coming out at honey magazine in addition so SBM.net. Check the new post after your down here … How to Impress a Man: Be Cool
-SBM
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I sat here randomly over the holiday break thinking about sex different topics to speak about for SBM. On Twitter, they’ve been trend topic crazy; #3turnonwords, #3turnoffwords, #3wordsaftersex, and others have permeated this microblogging site, and have provided some hilarious responses. It got me to thinking, what are my #besttypesofsex? You know, that s*x that breaks up monotony, exhilarates you, and stimulates you and your partners in unimaginable ways. I listed a few below, for your review:
Morning S*x – The best part of waking up, is Folgers in your cup, is Morning S*x. I read medical studies that say a man’s testosterone level is at its peak in the AM. That’s why a lot of dudes prefer to lift weights in the morning because they have the most strength. That’s also why men wake up with morning wood. I see this as one of the best opportunities to have s*x. You gotta satisfy that morning sensation somehow right? Most likely you’re sleeping next to your shorty and you just got done having a crazy s*x session where you passed out. Waking up, turning over, and going right to work makes you’re passion levels that more crazier. It’s like, you’re on the cusp between dream and reality. Imagine the most s*xual dream you can think of, only to rise and shine to the real deal. To me, woman are super freaky in the morning, welcome morning s*x, and will put it on you if you don’t come correct. Hop up out of bed, turn your swag on, take a look in the mirror and don’t say anything. Just smile, because you just finished getting that good GOOD.
Birthday S*x – Before Jeremih’s song dropped, I knew about the pleasures of Birthday s*x. Any holiday in general, s*x wins, but on your birthday its special. You live to see another year, probably go out to eat or party, and get ‘rewarded” for your milestone with Cookies and Apple Juice! If you have a wifey, this should be considered mandatory and understand that you return the favor on her birthday. She can plan a romantic escapade where s*x + emotions meet to become some of the best s*x every. Passionate s*x reaches another level of s*xual pleasure and feeling that those in serious relationships, affairs, and the like can co-sign. If you’re single, this could become a SERIOUS win for you, as that lady friend you want to smash or that acquaintance whom you just need the right place/right time phenomenon to manifest, can take you on a s*xual roller coaster that will leave you cheesing from ear to ear. It’s a celebration, b*tches!
SWI (S*xing While Intoxicated) – I won’t use the term “Drunk S*x” to bastardize this beautiful occurrence in male/female interaction. A little word association – Alcohol:S*x as Steroids:A-Rod. Now, I’m not talking about drunk, sloppy, vomiting influence. I speak of that nice buzz where you feel good, the young lady feels even better, and you know you will lay it down like a porn star (No Lex Steele, right or left coast). Shyness, intimidation, and minor uncomfortably can hinder the s*xual experience. Alcohol releases us from our inhibitions, and allows us to relax, go with the flow, and focus on ultimate pleasure. Ladies, all the things he may want to try with you, say to you in bed, positions he wants to put you in, will have a better chance of happening when he’s tipsy. Fellas, she will do her thing and won’t be scurred, will scream without the fear of neighbors/tenants/mom dukes waking up! It’s a beautiful thing, and in moderation can make sex that much better. Fellas, don’t OD, because if you slip shorty the dizzy lizard, be prepared to appear on a Bad D*ck Report, immediately!
Break up / Make up S*x – A classic example of how emotions enhance the s*xual experience. When you and your significant other have an heated exchange, you curse them out, say things that you will regret, and get you breezy poppin things could even get physical. However when you decide, as a couple, to just say “F*ck it”, the reaction can blow your mind! Whether break up or make up s*x, you want to make a statement. Fellas, this may be the last time you lay that pipework on your girl as only you can. Ladies, this may be your last chance to show him why he wont find another woman who can give him “intellectual stimuli” like you. You may just be angry and want to have the roughest, toughest, WWE s*x on the planet, so that your lady remembers who the master cocksman and to think twice before considering secession from your Union. Either way, you will go hard, give it your all, and leave everything on the court in the bedroom. We may want to forget our past at times, and even end up hating some exes, but you cannot deny the allure of breakup or makeup s*x during a course of a relationship.
So what type did I leave off? Let me know what types of s*x have you bright eyed, bushy tailed, and ready to take on the world!
Streetz: The Living Legend
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You left out:
Public S*x – Nothing gets the adrenal glands discharging and the ole heart racing faster than sneaky freaky s*x in public. I personally get off on that one because it's the thrill of getting caught. You're not worrying about getting caught in your own bedroom, so on the way back from a nice nite out, instead of going home, get busy in your nearest parking garage elevator and finish it off bending her over on the hood of your car knowing the cameras are on you. Instant WSHH celebrity! This usually goes well with:
Car S*x – Nothing beats explaining what those stains are on your cloth seats or why you carry clean towels in the trunk.
Nooners – I'm still trying to find a candidate for this one. Since I live and work in practically a 5 block radius of my house, I have no commute which means I can afford to come home for lunch. Nothing beats leaving at 11:30 to rock some bells and serve up some D.C. dingaling for lunch and coming back refreshed at 12:45ish. Sort of a compliment for morning sex or a substitute in case she wasn't feeling up to it while your breath smelled like boiled socks.
@CPT – "Your feet must be tired, because you been running though my mind all day!" – Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. You literally took the three ones I was going to bring up. Doh!
You forgot:
Painful Sex – No i'm not talking rough sex. I'm talking about when you catch a cramp or you be in some awkward position. Many of men have been hitting it from the and caught that charlie horse. Or maybe its a chick who catches that ill muscle spasm when she let's one go. "I know how y'all get when that leg get to shaking and you can't stop that muvphucker." – R. Kelly
Hot ass Sex – Wasn't nothing like having no A/C in college or in that first apartment or just flat out telling PEPCO go eff yourself, and fuxing and having sweat everywhere and then afterwards trying to stand by the fan and get some air and refusing to cuddle because it's just too hot. The thing about is the whole time you was having sex you knew you was hot, you knew you was sweating, you knew this was just too many liquids squishing around, but you couldn't stop because it was that dang good.
Kitchen S*x – "S*x in the kitchen, over by the stove, put you on the countertop by the butter rolls…"
Yeah, noon sex is great. I think New Year's Eve sex is the best of all holiday/special occasion sex – there's no better way to end last year & bring in the new one!
i agree with CPT Callamity about the nooners. man those are the best.
car sex, not so much. never done it. probably never will. it would just be awkward to me since i'm so long. it would probably have to go down in a truck or something. not worth the hassle to me.
dr j- what the hell is so great about painful sex? i've caught charlie horses during sex before. that shit is NOT cool.
Car sex is cool…I'm like 6 feet and drive a Japanese car, but the fun is in contorting and configuring yourselves and the seats into a sweaty stankbox of passion. If the windows ain't foggy, you ain't doing proper doggy!
Oh yeah…
Office sex – I'm working on this one too although I have gotten freaky at someone else's place of business before.
Rooftop sex – probably only a good idea for those who live in apartments with a nice view. Don't try this on a single family home…hmmmm…wait…that sounds fun. *scribbles that down*
Sex in the water – Tub, shower, pool…it don't matter. Sloshing around in liquid while doing the nasty is just a wet, wonderful mess.
A derivative of car/public sex – CPL (church parking lot) sex.
@Tunde: LOL. Foolishness. Had to read that sh*t twice.
@Nelia: Really though? In the church parking lot? Might as well have altar or pulpit sex.
@Dr. J: Painful s*x … really? Is that's whats hot in the streets???
@Nelia – Here's a horoscope for you… "You're gonna die.. f*xing!"
Re: Painful S*x – Maybe that was a reach, or it was just me.
How about?
Halftime S*x – I think this is self-explanatory. Watching football or basketball and you get a cool 20-25 minutes for halftime.
I have to agree with the public sex and the car sex but not all the time. And I love sex where the next day your legs still hurt cause you really shouldn't have been in that one position (whatever it is for you) for THAT long oh yeah and sex at dawn – before you have gone to sleep.
Slim Jackson & DrJ : There's nothing wrong with celebrating with the tools Jesus gave me.
Vacation S*x, no where to go and nothing to do but each other. All day. With room service too… that's what I'm talkin' bout.
Outdoor s*x – you don't have to be in the woods or anything, but you could have sex on your car instead of in it (that's for the long-legged folks driving Chevy Cobalts and Ford Focuses like ya'll didn't know you were tall!)
An adendum to Morning S*x -
I had a conversation with a new lady friend about the parameters of the morning shag. While I thoroughly enjoy using the morning wood for good, she says that most cats get it all wrong. So we came up with some parameters for morning s*x, a recipe if you will.
Wake up a lil earlier than normal -
Sometimes, you can't afford to be late. Don't lose the $$$ chasin' the honey ya dig!
Soft kisses –
fellas don't deep throat your lady before she can wipe the crust out of her eyes. you should probably let her initiate the tongue action
Some good intellectual stimulus (for her) –
if you give good face, this is the time to use it! even if she's not a morning person, this will give her some time to wake up and she'll be ready to go after the first yawn!
Music (optional) -
If you listen to music while doing your dew, let it help you out in the morning as you get your swerve on. However, you should avoid your normal "Dark Booty Mix vol 16: Da R. Kelly to the Dream and Errythang in Between." the sexed up stuff that works in the late hours won't cut it. Female vocalists are a safe bet here. Some Adele, Corrine Bailey Rae, or Jill Scott should blend well with the chirping birds (nature's cheerleaders) outside your window.
Let the morning light pour in, make love (or get your grind on!) and start your day on the good foot. Greatdayinthamornin' (c) D'Angelo.
Great post topic! Had to get this out before I headed to the gym.
any type of sex is good sex. unless its bad. y'all some real freaks out there, covered every type of sex possible, lmao!
Public Sex! I love it!