A few years ago, after going through a rough break up me and one of my boys just kind of hung out together all the time. (Pause). We sat in the crib playing video games, drinking beer, talking about why having a girl was stupid, when we stepped out we stepped out as wingmen. And for a lot of men this “bromance” (Double Pause) can be very beneficial to helping you recover from a rough break up. Now let’s be clear when a man says he had a rough break up, it doesn’t mean his heart was broken, it just means it was rough. Either he spent too much money on the chick, he deaded the chick he really wanted to be, she was just grimy, or he just invested too much time in a bad option. In this particular situation, my boy had just got out of a serious relationship himself and while it wasn’t rough he definitely understood why it happened, as it pertained to me, mine ended abruptly after basically saying to myself, “I needed to get my own ish together.”
Inevitably after a few months one of us is going to meet someone and that’s when you have to leave a man down and focus on yourself, or you let a good thing go, so you can hang out with your boy… (Triple Pause). Anyway, that’s just a little story to give some background for what happens later. What ends up happening is your boy, and this can happen to a girl too, starts talking to a new person and they get sprung. There is nothing worse than having to be party to one of your close friends being sprung.
Tell me the following situations don’t just annoy the hell out of you:
1) Annoying Public Displays of Affection. We’ve all been guilty of it and perhaps it’s because deep down we wish we had someone to call pet names and walk down the street with our hand in their back pocket. But it can get down right ridiculous. Like when they seem to occupy the same seat. When they are in the clubs and they seem to occupy the same drink. When they are on the bus and they seem to occupy the same seat. When they’re at a restaurant with friends they seem to occupy the same fork. (I do think that it’s OK to feed each other if you go to a private fondue spot, alone.)
2) The amount of time they spend on the phone talking about nothing. You come home off of work and they are on the phone with the person, talking about how their day was, what they doing tonight, what’s for dinner, what they planning on wearing tomorrow… And suddenly it dawns on you, “Don’t they talk all day on gchat anyway?!” Like seriously, don’t they know how each other’s day was already? Or let me give you another example… Don’t you just hate when someone gets in your car and talks on the phone? Like holds hard body conversation with another person. I sometimes wonder if they realize that while they’re talking on the phone they render everyone else defenseless. There’s no music playing, no conversation, just everyone in the car listening to someone else jonesing.
3) Suddenly you have a new roommate. Shortly thereafter they get sprung the new significant is the new roommate. They are over to the crib all the time. You go to take a shower in the morning and you look and you are trying to figure out who’s pink razor that is. Or for the ladies you come home and you are like, “Why does it smell like funk in here? Did someone just play a basketball game in here?” And you look in your living room and see your roommate’s boyfriend with no shoes on. And now they’re either always at your place, or they’re always at the other ones place. You can’t watch your TV shows because now the new couple living in your house is addicted to watching The Game on the CW. Or just when you are ready to bump some music on a Friday night, they are in the living room snuggled up on the couch about to watch “The Notebook” on DVD.
So tell me SBM readers, what say you? Any annoying habits that you see your friends display with their significant others? And also help me out what’s your advice on how I should handle it? I usually just make up funny songs to sing like, “Love Lockdown” every time she enters the room.
-Dr. J
I def agree with the new roomate thing. My roomate always had a boo but they were doing the long distance thing. He moved up here and suddenly there was a new roomate in the house. I mentioned kindly that maybe she should go visit him sometime she said ok and said behavior continued. So the next month when the bills came I divided them by 3 since he was always there watching tv using the internet showering and storing goods in my apt. Then they got the hint.
You just gotta mention it in convo and make a joke about their lovey duvey behavior. If they don't get the hint thereafter then you gotta be direct
For me its especially hard when one of my guy friends gets a new girl. Its harder to be friends with a friend of the op sex when they in a relationshp than one of the same sex. On the pda thing I hate listenin to ppl call each other "baby" all the time. "Honey" I don't mind but realy your girl/guy is a baby?
To deal with my friends getting sprung I usually just try and start kickin it with other friends or start catching up on sleep and go from there
The majority of their sentences start with "________ says/ thinks/ does……"
Handling it is simple. Get a woman of your own. That's pretty much the only solution.
They talk about them all the time. But I am guilty of doing that too, so I try not to get too annoyed.
my sis is dating this dude now, and i'm pretty much experiencing all of these things. it is annoying, but i wonder if deep down i'm hating a little bit lol. then again, i don't think i'm as bad as they are when i have a new boo…
As a man that fully indulges in that which is his boo, I can't completely agree on the overall post, unless it's a dude who has a new boo every month and always had tumultuous relationships. I understand that excessive PDA and usage of terms of endearment is a problem. Nobody wants to walk in and see people spooned up on the couch every day or consistently hear smooches in the kitchen. I also believe extended phone conversations can be taken elsewhere just out of common courtesy. Lastly, I don't think someone's boo should have their stuff taking up space in common areas and closets.
If the person and the boo aren't causing any alterations in one's lifestyle or what they do at home and the only thing annoying about the boo is the fact they are there, it really shouldn't be a big deal. Tell homeboy to chill out with the being in common areas spooned up and have his girl keep her bathroom stuff in his room. And when you hear him on the phone, just tell him go to his room cuz you tryna watch tv. Problem solved.
Good Post though. You conjured one of my most lengthy responses.lol.
They make you sit in the backseat when their girl is 5'2".
This is the bulls**t of all bulls**ts.
OMG…this is funny…
My boy, whom no one expected to be bunned up because of his whorish nature, got a girl he's been going tough with. Now I'm all for my homeboy's happiness, but some of the things he does makes me chuckle…
Like…
– He'll always need to be in a close proximity to her as though he and her are sharing life support.
– He will always want to remain the primary focus of her. If someone else comes up and starts talking, it's almost like he'll for an eclipse between that person and her.
– When he's sitting next to her, he'll always need to reach out and touch her somehow or another as though she'll vaporize when he doesn't.
I know I'm touchy feely but man…ode to clinginess on the homie.
LOL @ this!
I cosign. I wont front in collegei did have the live in wifey, but i also had a single, lolol. Dudes knew what was up, but I wasnt tryin to act all lovy duvy, thus preserving my gangsta persona. lol
*Sidebar* The Game got cancelled!
Anyway, it can be annoying esp. when its not discussed. When I was the one frequenting my bf's house. I never left anything. Ever. Didnt wanna be a bad houseguest. Never spent the night more than 3x a week. Can be overkill anyway. Who wants that?
*shrugs* Well, you have two options: get your own boo, or your own apartment! I'm the unapologetic caker in my group of friends so I can't really relate. I group up in a household were hugs were abundant, my parents French kissed in front of us kids, and "I love yous" were exchanged amongst all of us daily. PDA is just like background noise to me, as long as you're not humping in front of me I'll be aight. If you miss your friend that much, you just have to start scheduling activities cuz you already know that his boo has a standing reservation for his free time!
I don't even understand this. My roomie in college was my best friend, and neither of us really had the same company over for more than a few days. Pause.
Out of college I got my own place, so never had to deal with this mess. And mess it is. Most of this drama comes from having a roommate, and – if I remember my freshman year correctly – aren't you supposed to talk about your expectations and whatnot before you move in? What to do in case of sudden bunnage should come up during that talk.
Extended phone convo when you have live company is just rude, and you need to tell the person that. Only exception is if they're tryint to call a company and are going through the hell known as a phone tree.
You only get one chance to go out with me and almost get pregnant on a date. Call me after y'all break up or to tell me the wedding date.
Women are known for allowing a new man to dominate our thoughts and conversation. Being mad at that is like being mad at the rain.
The only thing I can't stand is the chick who gets a man and for some reason believes she is more wise, knowledgeable, attractive, better smelling than the rest of her female friends. Totally blows her friends off (and thinks that unplanned time with her man is a perfectly good reason to flake), acts superior (when she decides to call), etc. And when sh*t falls apart (because for this chick it always does), she wanna run back for sympathy and a good round of "that n**ga ain't sh*t!" with her homegirls. Sorry homey. YOU ain't sh*t!
LMAO, but I have to agree I hate when someone gets in my car and has an extended conversation. But to be perfectly honest I like my friends better when they're boo'd up because and I hate saying this when they are getting it on the regular they are sooooo much nicer.
LMFAO @ This whole post
It does get annoying, but luckily that honeymoon shit only lasts a little while with my girls. I will puke if I ever see one a them share a fork with their boo. Ew.
No advice on how to deal with it but thanks for articulating for me what my roomates glares mean LOL
Umm Kris it may be time for that convo with the roomie. LOL