How can we change these attitudes? Young Black women need to be educated about womanhood and manhood, not chided, ridiculed or condemned. And they need to be educated about the kinds of Black men that have their best interest at heart, that want to love and commit to them (not use them for sex), and how to screen the knuckleheads out. I mean, if all a girl has ever seen in her neighborhood, schools, etc. are stupid, trifling men, she is going to think ALL MEN ARE STUPID AND TRIFLING, and treat them as such. Feel me?

Christina

The only kind of women who will accept the BS that is passing for dating and relationships nowadays are seriously flawed women or those who still tie their self-worth to "having a man." To be honest, most of the women I do see in relationships are exceedingly dissatisfied but stay b/c they don't want to be alone. I and many of my girlfriends have taken the time to look at the woman in the mirror and have done a ton of work to be a quality woman, but will not settle for half a man just to say we've got one!

If you want the beautiful, sweet, supportive, loving, passionate, well-kept woman who is in your corner ride or die, working with you to build a future, a family, and a home then you need to spend sometime working on yourself to deserve her!

Single Black Male, when is that post coming bruh?

@Muse expanding the dating pool to be global brings up a whole other set of issues. Trust I am and have been open to rainbow for quite some time, but most of the men I find attractive happen to be men of color. I have hung out with a multi-cultural group of people for a while and while there are a few who have caught my eye and piqued my interested I still love my brothas the best. I guess this is why its so hard for many of us to find peace with what is so. I accept that for many black men, we are just not it. I still find many a brotha who does not appreciate my kinky hair or I hear silly comments like "why do you have to come to bed with that rag on your head?" (if you don't know the answer to this question go ask your mama)

I honestly feel like there is a huge breakdown for women to be loved and accepted as our 100% selves, but sadly this can often be worse for black women. As women get older, things sag and after child-birth our bodies change, yet men seem to keep these unrealistic physical expectations for women that no one can meet. There is no cherishing your life partner for being with you through the good and bad and appreciating her for being willing to put her body through 9 months of trauma to bring your child into the world.

@Temp any woman who would bypass a hardworking college student to go out with an A$$hole is a "bird" the fact that she is in school just means she's an educated "bird." That's my point, its like you just don't have a clue about what a good woman is. I was one of those good girls in college who couldn't get a date b/c I was not willing to "creep" or do the walk of shame. So the "birds" (at my Ivy League School) went after the flashy guys, the athletes went after the white girls, the frat boys chased after the campus hoes and the quality women stayed in the books and built life-long friendships.

From what I can see, nothing has changed. No I don't spend all my time and money keeping my weave tight, nails done, and body in designer labels, but I am well-kept, fit, educated, gorgeous, loving, and a supportive. Stop chasing the flashy chicks and maybe you'll find a good woman!

Finally there is nothing wrong with a woman being educated and successful. Yes I realize that it's not that important to a lot of men, but why do you all not see that it is important to us!? I get the sense that men ignore the fact that we want to accomplish more in life than getting married, tending to the house, and raising kids. Some, no many, of us enjoy having careers, but are not obsessed with being at "the top." I started my own business specifically so that I could be accessible to my "family" yet still have a sense of personal accomplishment, yet so many men claim that b/c I have been on the hustle they assumed I didn't want to be a wife. Just because we don't spend all our time scheming on how to get yall to marry us doesn't mean we don't want a family!

This topic frustrates me to no end b/c I know waaaay to many quality women who are single and don't fit the above descriptions of crazy broads who stay single b/c men pass them by.

I'm seriously thinking about moving out of this city (Baltimore). The sense of entitlement with chicks here is astounding. Most feel like they deserve nothing but the very best (which is fine), while being little more than a pretty face on your arm (no goals of any kind).

It's crazy.

FIRST THING WE SHOULD REMEMBER IS THAT BOTH SEXES COME OUT OF THE WOMB OF A WOMAN. SO WOMEN SHOULD NOT DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM MEN AS IF MEN ARE SOME OTHER SPECIES.

ONE OF THE MAJOR ISSUES THAT HASN'T BEEN ADDRESSED IS THE AMOUNT OF WOMEN WHO BELIEVE THAT THE CHURCH IS A SACRED PLACE WHEN THEY'RE ONLY GETTING PIMPED OUT. THIS IS PART OF THE SELF DECEPTION A LOT OF BLACK WOMEN HAVE WHEN THEY'RE SOULS ARE BEING OPENED UP AND THEY'RE POURING THEIR WALLETS AND SOULS AT THE FEET OF THEIR PASTOR'S CONVEYANCE OF THE "WORD".

THE CHURCH IS A NON-PROFIT BANK. THAT'S IT, NO MORE NO LESS. WHY AREN'T THEY CREATING JOBS AND INDUSTRY WITH THE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS THEY RECEIVE??? THINK ABOUT IT.

THE SAME WAY PEOPLE HAVE FALLEN FOR THE SUB-PRIME LOANS, THEY'RE GOING TO SEE THE RESIDUALS OF THE GREATEST SCAM IN HUMAN HISTORY. THE CHURCH IS GOING TO GET IT'S WIG PUSHED BACK AND BLACK WOMEN AND THE GAY CHOIR DIRECTORS WILL DISCOVER THAT THEY'VE BEEN WORSHIPPING HOMOSEXUAL, PERVERTED, MONEY HUNGRY, POWER HUNGRY MANIPULATIVE MEN, AND ALL THEY HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT IS A FEEL GOOD TIME ONE DAY OF THE WEEK. HAVING CROWDS OF FOLLOWERS IN THE SAME ROOM MEANS SOMEONE IS NOT THINKING. THAT'S HOW CONTROL IS OBTAINED AND WHY MASS IS CALLED MASS. PEOPLE ATTRACT PEOPLE. THIS IS BASIC PSYCHOLOGY FOLKS.

SECOND, YOU ARE NOT A GOOD WOMAN OR ARE READY FOR MARRIAGE JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A DEGREE AND A JOB. BEING INSTITUTIONALIZED TAKES A WOMAN FURTHER FROM HER CREATOR AND INTO THE ARMS OF AN ARTIFICIAL, MANIPULATIVE EXISTENCE(CAPITALISM IN THIS CASE). WHICH BRINGS ME TO NUMBER THREE:

THIRD, (SOME)MEN DO NOT WANT TO MARRY YOU BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT YOU RELY ON MARRIAGE AS A LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT (ONCE YOU'VE PROVEN TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT YOU'RE PRETTY ENOUGH AND VAGINA HAS FINALLY CASHED IN):AS OPPOSED TO A CONTRACT OF TWO SPIRITS. ESPECIALLY SINCE A LOT OF WOMEN'S MOTHERS AND GIRLFRIEDS SEE MEN AS THEIR ADVERSARY(ALTHOUGH NECESSARY) WHICH IS A DESTRUCTIVE BEGINNING AND ENDING. IN AMERICA, MARRIAGE DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE IT'S A CONTRACT THAT GIVES ALL WOMEN MORE LEVERAGE THEN SHE WOULD UNMARRIED. DON'T BE MAD, HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE MARRIED. YOU'RE FUCKED UP TOO.

The view from 5000 feet (new buzz phrase at work, I love it) is there seems to be a high level of distrust. Black women are checkin for the dude strugglin and black men are tryin to beat and then move on.

A large part of the problem is you (singular). We are our own worst problem. We have a problem, situation one time and then generalize it to the entire population. I work hard on not doin that, but I still fail and I'm not singlay any more.

For all the doom and gloom there is still a good percentage of black on black marriage. Some balancing will be necessary and readjustment. Women go make the bacon too now, but don't let that go to your head.

And this "I don't need" is complete and utter BS. Humans are by nature social creatures. It's hardwired into us so take a deep breath and lower your self importance.

After a string of bad dates, relationships, etc. at some point the problem has to be YOU (singular). Everyone else can't be wrong all the time.