***** Admin Note *****
I hate to admit it … but after watching Drake’s new video … I was so inspired I had to hijack my man’s Streetz post day … and put up something special. Don’t worry … you’ll get a double dose of him next week.
Also … VOTE FOR US … WE NEED AN AWARD!!! I promise … if we win … everyone gets … something! And it will be good!!!!
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Apparently, the new hot and coming (pause) artist Drake, who has a super street buzz with just a couple mixtapes (I just don’t get it. He is OK at best … in my opinion) has been getting a lot of heat for his first video “The Best I Ever Had” … his first big radio hit single.
For those of you who haven’t seen it, it basically shows Drake coaching his own basketball team of gorgeous, big breasted women, in low cut jerseys, who have no business in any way shape or form playing basketball. I won’t ruin the end of the video for you … but as you can imagine … the game doesn’t end well.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hb0KowdtK6Y]
The song itself is about how Drake’s current woman is “The Best [he] Ever Had”. Technically it’s a rap song … I guess … but when I first heard it … sounded like some more of that ol’ soft ass cry through the whole song R&B song …. which I hate. But … I found it growing on me and myself turning up the radio whenever it came on.
Now … oddly enough … women are mad at this video. It seems there was this expectation that this heart felt love ballad would actually produce this soft and sweet video, telling a story of one super light skinned brotha’s love for a special someone. The type of video that women and their girls would watch in groups, and sigh together in unison at the love that was conveyed through the unique combination of words and images.
HA!
Well … personally … I love the video. And not just for the jiggly eye candy unique artistic vision, but for what I personally believe was Drake sending a message out to everyone. I love this video for its rejection of the one inherent tag that many men and every R&B artist is faced with … and Drake’s blatant attempt to not succumb to the same curse. I love this video because … to me … SBM … Drake is saying:
N****S!!! I AIN’T SOFT … and yes … I do go hard!
Any man who has ever done something really nice, ever showed more than 3 emotions in a single day, ever wept for … any reason outside the death of Michael Jackson their father or mother … they are at a dangerous risk of being labeled as “soft”.
Yes … the life of a man is that difficult. Being nice is a negative, and if you’re not beating the pum pum your chest on the regular there is some guy ready to call you soft or some girl ready to accuse you of being a down low associate. This has often manifested itself into blatant overzealous outbursts of violence and machismo. Hell … look at the Bush Administration … 8 years of consistent and nonstop “Check me out n****s … ain’t no one rolling on the US and The Big W. I go super hard”.
I’m not a big Drake fan. I’ve tried to make it through his “So Far Gone” mixtape about 5 times … but my hatred for R&B makes me lose interest as he has to be the single most R&B sounding rapper alive. As I listen to the album now as research I keep thinking “is this hip hop? Stop singing!” and am quick to write off the bootleg download potential purchase down the line.
I mean … sh*t … he even looks soft.
But … all this changed as I watch the buxom beautys get their shots blocked, fail at dribbling, and do nothing more during practice than contort their body’s in some of the most erotic and tantalizing stretch positions I’ve seen since … well … my last late night pum pum session ever.
Drake … you have earned the respect of one random reggin (read it backwards) on the internet. I’m gonna give you a chance and I’m looking for the next vid.
And Kanye … get at me. I want you to direct “SBM … The Movie”. I’m shooting for an NC-17 rating.
Any fellas out there with stories of their fight against the “softness” label? Any women actually not mad at the video? And can someone … anyone … tell me what is the big deal with this dude besides the fact he is working with Wayne?
- SBM aka Mr. Anti-Downy
Okay, you are definitely right that getting that soft label is basically this kiss of death for any man. I will have to acknowledge that. (Disclosure, I am a big Drake fan, contrary to what was said in this post, the boy can spit and he can spit more than them soft rap ballads). However, this video was WACK, and it aint just girls that think its WACK. Don't get me wrong, the assets that are on display are simply marvelous, but the video was wack and honestly it didn't do much to show he wasnt soft or that he was, the video just sucked.
Anyhow, back to what I think is the purpose of this post, as dudes, we simply cant be too nice, because niceness = softness. It takes a while to learn this, and I am by no means saying that girls always like ass holes, but dudes we have to kinda set a threshold, we can be nice, but we cant be too nice, especially in the beginning. Once a girl classifies you as soft, she pretty much has put you in the "he's just my friend category", once you are in this category, the amount of work it takes to get out of it is simply not worth it most of the time, and sometimes not even possible.
I think part of the reason the industry has given him so much hype is because he already has strong base of teenage fans due to his role on the popular teen show "Degrassi." I think they feel that he's pretty much guaranteed to sell some records.
I can't listen to Drake either bruh. The whole "crooner/rapper" thing has always irritated the hell outta me. Pick one dammit! And I agree that nice = soft. Shit'll get you nowhere fast. Women want a nigga that'll stand up to 'em, not a weak ass bitch (like their friends).
This Drake character was on Degrassi? Wow. I had no idea. But then I've never seen the show and really just found out Drake's song wasn't a Kanye song. Anyhow, I don't see the big deal about the video. It seems like a lot of the other videos out there. What did chicks expect? A wedding scene where instead of the standard vows, this Drake character breaks into his song?
And who are these women who don't appreciate a nice guy?? Are they super young?? The truth people find out is that we've been lied to. Nice guys don't finish last. Nice guys get nice girls. It's a mark of maturity to be able to appreciate niceness and be nice.
Why is being nice automatically associated with being soft? There's a difference between treating a potential with respect and being run-over (see the Onion post)..or, I could make this a rant and go on about the emasculation and hypersexualized 'nature' that the world has of us [bruthas] which informs what our sisters' think is 'normal' in terms of how we relate to them, but Im sure thats another blog post.
Back in the day, to treat your woman w/respect was to be soft, at least at my HS in ATL. But think about it, how many people really had all this together back in HS early college.. I get tired of this debate and I call it the homie complex (buying into the hype/stereotypes of whatever your woman/man has to do to make you feel like a woman/man— When your dude has to treat you a certain way (demand or withold things of you to prove love, talk to you a certain way, physically lay hands on you/get loud in public, or else he is 'soft or not being yo reggin (backwards) I dunno, it might sound laughable but I found myself with a chica who was wonderin why I wouldn't get loud with her in a restaurant, when we disagreed, Can you say check please?
I'm a classical/jazz musician and also play 'A-typical sports' (rifle, soccer, rugby) so I have been battling this soft/hard dichotomy since middle-school, but its funny to see how as I've gotten older and moved around (ATLien now in the District) these discussions don't even come up anymore, thoughts?
@ Hostess- I agree with you completely. After listening to the lyrics of "Every girl," I'm not sure why anyone would expect anything different than the typical rap video. This one did stink b/c it had no point, but a lot of videos don't.
As for the nice guy thing, I think it's ridiculous and it really depends on the females you choose to associate with. They are probably just young minded and immature.
On the other hand, I have 2 brothers and I'm close with them, I also have a bunch of male friends and I never hear them worrying about a woman thinking they are soft. It doesn't seem to be a struggle for them and I would consider them nice guys. So it could just be the way you move. Who knows? But, either way, that whole nice = soft seems to be more for the young and dumb.
@Plwatcher: It's maturity…
I would not go as far as to say that treating a woman with respect equates to being soft, quite simply everyone deserves respect and if you are dealing with a girl that takes that is being soft..DROP HER..However I think, with respect to women, the line between softness and niceness is sooo thin it is extremely hard not to lean too far in the wrong direction. There has to be a perfect balance, I have countless female friends that have stopped dealing with dudes because they gave them too much of what they wanted. What they wanted being attention. At the same time many of these same girls have stopped dealing with dudes because of a lack of attention, however, they will tolerate that lack of attention for a little longer. Even nice females will look at a guy that they consider too nice and not want to deal with him because they feel its too easy to take advantage of him or that he is spineless..Thats why the line between the too is so thin..and the proper threshold must be maintained. No one, male or female, likes someone that the feel lacks backbone, and its sad to say but being too nice can equate to lacking backbone.
Okay. First off just wanted to say I love reading SBM. Good stuff. Second. "The Best I Ever Had"…isn't about love (at least that's how I have interpreted the lyrics). It seems to be about the "best" sexual partner he has ever had. I'm a female and I wasn't thinking ~ awe what a sweet song. So I found the video hilarious. Especially when Drake says "When they give you the D you take the D like a champ!" And when one of the girls responds, "But all you have taught us is how to stretch." (something along those lines)
Drake is getting all this hype because us ladies, who love light skinned brothas, find him sexy and he is more of a lyricist rather than a rapper, which gives him that R&B feel I guess. I also think the pull of Wayne helps too. (Hostess how could you watch Degrassi and not realize Jimmy is Drake)
As for being "soft" not many guys could get that title from me. From my experience many pretend to be soft to make you think they are a sweetheart, but then end up being crazy stalker types or too aggressive. Nice guy as a title has nothing to do with being soft, but more to do with a man's respect and care of females as a whole, not just their relatives or current woman.
I'm indifferent about the video. Definitely not offended. I literally paused when you typed "hatred for R&B", and had to revisit that old post. wowzers. anywho, I like Drake and I think the sanga/rappa thing is gonna work for him. I don't think he's the hottest new "freshman" rapper out or anything, but I dig him alright. "Successful" is my mf'in jam.
I'm not even touching the "soft" discussion because I am kinda tired of grown men AND women thinking expressing some sort of feeling means you are soft or homo.
I think the video is ingenious and correlates to the song much better than I initially thought. When you think about it, he has a group of girls on his team that the average man would go goo goo ga ga for. Light skin, long hair, tig ole bitties, and some booty on them and they are all racially ambiguous. However, they suck at the game. Outside of their looks, they lack any real talent. They lack substance. He has a bunch of chicks on the team that look good but suck at the game. All he has to do to get them riled up is tell em that they’re the best. Their insecurities in their game (which is essentially their looks) force them to need that validation. However, the chicks that actually win and are good at the game are more realistic looking chicks; women of all colors and dimensions. They are the chicks that don’t need to necessarily hear the compliments. They go out and do them, day in and day out. They are the chicks who eventually get wifed up. I think this is the true message of the video and whoever is making a big deal about there being too many light skin chicks in the video is missing this. So I see the video speaking more about video ho’s and hip hop’s infatuation with racially ambiguous broads rather than him justifying his thug.
@Peyso – very poignant analysis. I was indifferent to the video, but that makes a lot of sense.
I like your spin as well Peyso
Drake was actually going for the more serious and cliche route, so we must thank Kanye for this "ingenious" video.
I still think it could've been a better video…whats up with the lighting or am I just missing another ingenious concept??
Hmmmmm, interesting @ Peyso…
Peyso,
Yall internet Ques be droppin knowledge.
lol jk
Seriously though, that was a hot analysis.
I wasnt impressed with the video like that. I think he shouldve gone the traditional route at least for his first vid
As far as feelings equating to softness, thats such bs. It takes a man to express himself and not have fear of consequence. As long as it isnt emo
I really don't have a comment on the whole nice=soft, meanwhile I'm still chuckling reading "reggin"..did anyone else see the colbert report where this dude interviews nas and says "reggin please!"..High-larious.
Well, I never entertained the thought that he may have felt the need to go hard with the video because the song was so soft. *side eye* Interesting concept *double side eye*…but I still hate the video and yes, I am a big breasted woman who loves Drake! I agree with streetz totally in that he took a big risk going against the grain and not giving (me) us the love story that the song was telling. Even if it had've been a love of his money or hiphop…the video just didn't tell a story and basically sucked. lol, but I digress. I love Drake because he seems to be a versatile artist (despite you rapper/crooner haters) and is pretty good lyrically. I also think that he has lots of crossover potential with his fanbase from Degrassi (that I still watch at least 2 hours of reruns on Saturday morning, don't judge me!)
One thing I have to point out … my intentions were in no way to implicate that being nice makes you soft. As the nicest guy on this here internet … how could I say such a thing.
But we all know that too much niceness is perceived as softness. And since the post was about Drake and his singing/rapping … I don't think it's really even a question of anyone being too nice.
@Peyso: Deep analysis. I definitely did see the linkages between him coaching a team of fine woman and most men's desire to have a team of women … but I will admit that I think you might be looking a little too much into it when it comes down to the game being a representation of their looks. But then again … I'm a simple man.
i'm booing very loudly right now… the video sucked ass… nuff said…
I'm a woman, and I wasn't mad at the video – maybe because I like breasts, even though i'm straight
Still don't get the Drake hype *shrug*
@ Peyso
Good shit on the analysis cuz.
*gunshots*
The video reeked wackness. I was excited when everyone said a video was out. Lo and behold, this comes out… I shed mental tears for him… I'm not a crazy Drake fan and I agree with the whole R&B sounding rapper SBM