Summertime part 2: The Men-Women Rosetta Stone

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Editors Note: The Woman list presented was taken from Facebook/email forwards I received. The Men list I created myself. Some people didn’t see the acknowledgement in the comments, so I’m placing it here. Cool? Cool. All for your enjoyment! Carry on…

– Streetz
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Language is the most dynamic aspect of human interaction. We have hundreds of languages on this planet, and among those languages, different dialects.  We can have words that literally can mean 10 different things. As a man who speaks multiple languages, I know that one word or phrase spoken out of context can and will ruin you. Sometimes, we use these same words and while their face value definition might say one thing, we mean something totally different. Men and women do this all the time! It’s time we decode these messages to better understand each other and avoid the language barriers that hinder us in trying to bone better communication.

Women use these common phrases while meaning something totaly different:

Fine – This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes – If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING – This is the calm before the storm. This means “something,” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘Nothing’ usually end in “Fine”

Go Ahead – This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.

**Loud Sigh** – This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”

That’s OK – This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks – A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you’re welcome (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

Whatever…” – It’s a woman’s way of saying FCUK YOU!

Don’t worry about it. I GOT IT – Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response, refer to “NOTHING”.

Men use these phrases during interactions with Women:

HUH/excuse me/what did you say? – Normally, you take this phrase at face value. In an argument with a man, this is utilized to buy a little time to think over a question that you asked (in order to give a good enough correct answer)

Whatever – Almost Identical to the woman version (meaning FCUK you!) It can also signify the end of a conversation on the man’s side. Men usually follow the whatever by walking away or continuing their normal everyday procedure as if you weren’t there

I’m good/I’m fine/ It’s not that serious – Yeah, OK. It is VERY serious, lol! The man is just too exhausted/frustrated to continue and uses this to attempt to deal with the issue on his own

I’m down the block/ I’m around the corner – “I just left my house got on the highway. I was too busy watching the game and lost track of time. I should be there in 15 25, I think”

What do you want for ____? – This is a Man’s way of giving you EXACTLY what you want for that special occasion, to save the trouble of going back to exchange the gift when you see it and say “DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT”

You’re Right/You got it – Man’s way of shutting you up conceding an argument and retreating like Cobra Commander “I wont lie man I really don’t care/ I tell these chicks whatever they wanna hear” (c) 50 Cent.

OK – “Shut up. You made your point, and I have no further need for clarification of your point. You got it OK?!!”

Uh-huh/mmhmmA place holder in conversations, where a man’s not listening as attentively as you think and he’s programmed to answer with these canned responses in 5-7 sec intervals. Uncanny!

How was your day? – “I don’t give a flying FCUK about you day I care about your day, but when I’m busy and you call/speak to me at a bad time, I’ll ask this so you can speak ALL DAY for a few minutes so I can answer with a few ‘uh-huhs’, ‘yups’, and ‘that chick is trifling.”

SBM community, let these phrases confuse you no longer. Let us tear down these language barriers like vagina The Berlin Wall. Did I forget anything? Do you agree? Remember its summer and we’re trying to enjoy it. No need to let words stop our flow!

Salud!

Streetz alias Mr. Write NOW

From Our Partners

  • Babygurrl

    You're dead on with "Whatever" I say it all the time and mean EXACTLY that everytime

    • Jay

      That "your right" response is my bread n butter with females! It started with me saying that to my moms all the time, then I just starting saying that anytime I wanted to end a conversation, or try anyways. Lol- ok is dead on how you defined it, cause if you here that come out my mouth twice, it's a wrap, silent or gone for the day, unless I warranted the agitation by doing or saying something silly! I do try to be a man and fess up if there was an equal misunderstanding, but most times I'm not tryna hear the bull! I hate to argue!

  • http://www.blacknbougie.com OneChele

    Here are a few of my favorites:

    Woman says, "I don't want to talk about it" – this means she really wants to talk about it so you might as well settle in

    Man says, "I don't want to talk about it" – means he does NOT want to talk about it, please stop talking!

    Woman says, "I don't care, you decide" – means you better pick the right thing

    Man says, "I don't care, you decide" – means he picked wrong the last two times and isn't falling into THAT trap again

    Woman says, "You didn't have to do that, that's so sweet" means she just about gave up on your raggedy behind doing it and now she doesn't have to cut you

    Man says, "You didn't have to do that, look at you" means wow, he can't believe she did that, what will she expect in return

    Woman says,"Are you ready to commit?" means she wants to call you her man and start looking at rings

    Man says, "Are you ready to take this relationship to the next level?" means he brought over some KY, coconut oil and a camcorder

    Fellas – a few questions where there is NO good answer – "Do I look fat in this?" "Why are you texting at three in the morning?" "Why doesn't your mother like me?" "What is your ex-girlfriend doing in your apartment?" Just walk away.

    Ladies a few ways never to start a sentence if you want the man to listen – "Oprah/My Mom/Dr Phil says…" "My last boyfriend never…" "Honey, we need to talk…"

  • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

    LOL thanks!

    As a FYI, The Women part of this I got from a mass fwd email/text years ago. I created the Male version. When I read the women part I was inspired to drop the male version and combined these muthaf*ckas!

    Carry on

  • Name (required)

    A couple more examples:

    When a woman is riding passenger in the car and asks her man if HE's thirsty: What she really means is "I'M thirsty. Pull up to the next gas station"

    In this situation, most women are hoping that you'll agree with them, so their personal thirst/hunger doesn't become the sole interruption of the trip (After all, you're already running late because she needed an extra "5 minutes" to get ready) Women just figure that if we can nudge the idea into a man's head, we won't be the sole reason for having to pull over and fall behind schedule.

    Another version of this also occurs:

    Man: Hey, I'm gonna go get something to eat, do you want anything?

    Woman: No, I'm not really hungry.

    TRANSLATION

    Man: Hey, I'm gonna go get something to eat, do you want anything?

    Woman: I'm not so hungry that I want an entire meal, however i fully intend to sample the meal you bring back for yourself 😉

    • Truth

      It just tastes better when it comes from his plate :O)

  • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

    LMAO. I am the queen of "whatever". and that male "ok"? so true, which is why I hate when my babe ok's me….yet he seems to act like I don't know how to decipher the meaning! LOL

  • Peyso

    "Another version of this also occurs:

    Man: Hey, I’m gonna go get something to eat, do you want anything?

    Woman: No, I’m not really hungry.

    TRANSLATION

    Man: Hey, I’m gonna go get something to eat, do you want anything?

    Woman: I’m not so hungry that I want an entire meal, however i fully intend to sample the meal you bring back for yourself "

    I swear I hate this sh!t. Especially when I'm treating. If I ask you what you want, you coulda got everything on the menu. Hell you coulda got two of everything but then you gonna wait for me to order and then ask for mine? GTFOHWBS

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      THEN they get mad when you're tight because of that! I used to cop something extra just in case, and shorty would be like "oh im good, I'll just take yours"

      PMO!!

  • http://thinkprettysmart.typepad.com Think Pretty Smart

    This is on point.

  • Crissie*

    this is amazinglyyyyyyyy ttttrueeeand couldnt have been said better!~!!! WOW!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

    lol. these are really true. most of these are true for me except the down the block one b/c i hate when people do that to me.

    what other language do you speak streetz? french? creole?

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      Im Conversational/on the cusp of Fluent in Spanish (i can get away with living in a spanish speaking country, did it in Panama with no problem)

      I understand/speak creole, but not as much as I should

      Im fluent in ebonics, and the Dunn language too, hahahahah

      By October, I plan to be 100% fluent in Spanish

      • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

        good shit. i can speak a little yoruba but i think thats about it. my brothers are way better than me. my dad is fluent in spanish, porteguese, and yoruba. i'm trying to get on his level.

  • Nicole

    Wow, this post really opened my eyes. It's kinda scary because I use ALL of those phrases meaning the exact same thing.

  • Remi

    This is hilarious!!

    @Streetz and Peyso – I am soo guilty of that. LOL.

  • http://[email protected] Shawn Smith

    Woman: "I'm cold/hot" which means you have to get out of your comfort level to accommodate

    Woman: "So what are we right now" means she wants you to be the boyfriend.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      Ive once had a woman ask "what are we" to make sure she wasnt being 100% grimy when she went to mess with her boyfriend I didnt know about, so… lol

      • CPT Callamity

        Actually…a woman usually says "what are we," it is to not feel guilty for giving up the cooch without some sort of deal/commitment/offering. Trust me I know…

  • CPT Callamity

    I keep telling chicks that "Whatever" is tantamount to "FU." Oh how liberally they use it though.

  • http://www.threewaystotakeit.com/ Slim Jackson

    I'm sorry, but we're missing a fundamental example for something women tend to say:

    "So what are you up to?" = Can I/you come over so that I can jump on your piece.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      SJ thats a classic one! LOL

      What about this conversation

      Me: Whats up xyz

      Xyz: hey im chillin how u?

      Me: Im cool just chillin watchin True Blood

      XYZ: Word?! Thats my show!

      Translation: "Ninja, THIS is where YOU say "we should watch it together one night" I DVR it, so you know we won't make it through an entire episode IF you don't front!"

      All of that from "thats my show" I tell ya…lol

  • Witty

    Seriously..This is great stuff right here..Especially the Food comment..I am GOOD for picking food off of my Man's plate..and thing is I really want what iI ordered but his just looks so much better when it comes from the Chef…I think its just mental…

    LMAO..I didnt know you Guys hated that soo much….Now I know..

    Classic!!!!

  • K-Money

    "HUH/excuse me/what did you say? – Normally, you take this phrase at face value. In an argument with a man, this is utilized to buy a little time to think over a question that you asked (in order to give a good enough correct answer)"

    My favorite…I've heard this one so many times. Hahahahaha! Usually the response is "n***a, you heard me! If you can "huh" you can hear!"

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com NIcki Sunshine

      LOL. I ask that a lot because . I'm looking at you like I'm listening, but I am not and you've asked a question and caught me off guard.

    • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

      "If you can huh you can hear" is some ol country talk. I know because I say it often. I'm the queen of county colloquialism

      • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

        Thats why with a cawntry girl u have to say "Pardon?"

  • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com NIcki Sunshine

    I agree. 😉

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      What you agree with lips?

      • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com NIcki Sunshine

        LMAO. The entire post.. I think the translatiatons were pretty much on point!

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      ahhh ok good!

  • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

    Real talk, I used to date a girl who I would tell when I was leaving my house 30 minutes from her place, that I was outside. It took her that long to get outside. I tend to think that females do this on purpose because they think it's cute. I think it's funny to have you waiting in the cold because you've established a reputation for having me burning gas out front your place.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      I give women an extra 10 minutes to get ready off GP. Even if I arrive ontime I'll wait outside and then call. Thank God for mobile Twitter!

  • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

    Whats funny is Men can also use OK to instill the greatest amount of hate (No RPG Game) in ANY women. Best way to utilize it:

    Woman: i really feel like me and you needed to discuss these issues because I feel like you dont truly appreciate the things I do and you always dddhddghfjgjfshgj;dfghdfkgjfdngjfndfgkngf/ngn'dngfk'gfn'dgkgf'jaskgadf','gfkdgnk'ngkl'fdgk'lfngknklgnf'lkgnk'lgnkdnfgn'lf'lgn'fk'ngkndgkd'fgnd'gnf

    Man: OK *blank Stare*

    • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

      gosh i just spent the last 15 minutes cracking UP at this, because this happens SO much. even when i am saying my whole spiel, i already know the response is going to most likely be "ok."

      hilarious.

  • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

    Look at streetz getting all Rosetta Stone on us. Great guider.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      thank you kindly!

  • http://www.singleblackmale.org SBM

    Anyone else ever get the "I have a question" … which really means (99% of the time) "I have something that is bothering me, so I would like to spend the next hour discussing it so I can bring it up again in another 2 days"?

    Or is it just me?

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      YES!

      This list didnt have that! I cringe everytime I hear that, but put on a brave face and get my "huhs" and "I understands" ready!

    • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

      totally and completely me. lmao.

      although the rehashing of it in 2 days is not preplanned. just happens like that.

      hilarity man. i enjoyed this post.

  • http://www.lilgyrlblue.com Andrea

    OMG. Whatever, Nothing and I Got It are my Top 3. LMAO. I love it.

    Me no likey Ok and I'm good/fine etc from a dude.

  • Lisa

    Nice.

    I've seen this before. Where did you get this list?

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      The woman one was a facebook forward/email i got mad times and I wrote about that previously.

      The man part I made up.

      I combined the 2 to get an opinion from yallon it, and it was pretty funny!

  • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

    When ever a chick says "we need to talk," I tell her in 15 minutes and just start taking shots of Patron until I pass out. It's my only defense mechanism.

    • BlueFlame

      LMAO…that's hilarious. "We need to talk" doesn't ALWAYS necessarily mean something bad is about to happen! But i do preface my conversation in other ways to suck him into it! Before he knows it…he's there and by then it's too late….talk to me negro! lol For me, when i say thanks….sometimes I am being a little sarcastic…and possibly bitchy…i guess it all depends on my tone….and saying "Nothing" really is the calm before the storm….im just too irritated to talk about it at that moment….so it's best to leave well enough alone…for the time being….but i agree 100% with the article! Too funny….

  • HarlemsOwn

    Woman: Im hungry, are you hungry, do you want to get some food?

    Man: Yes.

    Woman: ok, good. just as long as you know you're paying.

    how does a woman inviting a man out to eat, means he paying. If i invite you out to eat i'm paying. But i guess dutch just aint good enough anymore for friends.

  • Anonymiss

    LMAO. I must say the woman's list is on point. At least for me. Especially with the "five minutes" thang…. I really need to work on that. lol. My mom's fave is "that's ok"

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