****** Admin Note ******
I’m off in Toronto enjoying Caribana, and while I promise to tweet my vacation away, as long as tmobile doesn’t hit me for roaming so I have brought you another guest post from my favorite female guest blogger … Lisa Marie. Enjoy.
- SBM
**********************
I thought I’d write about what I like to refer as the “You are not the father” test … not to be confused with the main reason Maury still gets ratings the DNA test given to determine which one of a ho’s woman’s jump-offs previous suitors fathered her poor bastard new bundle of joy. Rather this test refers to the exam which women give to their significant others to see if they will make good husbands (hopefully this will come first) and eventually fathers. Basically it’s an assessment of a man’s lifestyle, beliefs, credit score, actions, etc. that’s given in order to determine how good a husband and daddy he’ll be….every woman should have one…this is mine…I humbly submit to you the top three questions of:
Lisa Marie’s “Are You the Father?” Test
Question #1: What is your religion?
Correct Answer: Christian. Praise Jesus!
Wrong Answer: Anything else …
Dated a Muslim once … attractive, smart, rolling in the dough successful, driven … basically held a lot of the standard qualities that most women are looking for. However, although initially I thought we could make it work, I eventually had to end it due to religious differences and cuz he got on my damn nerves …I mean a) how can we support each other on the spiritual front if we don’t worship the same? and b) how can we raise children to honor and follow two different religions? I mean the Mosque one weekend, the Church the next? They would get confused…and I just can’t do that to my future babies…plus I love bacon too much.
Question #2: When was the last time you cried?
Correct Answer: “uh…idk…I think it was 5 years ago when my grandma died“
Wrong Answer: “*voice breaking* … Yesterday … *sob* … when I looked at the sunset and realized how beautiful creation was … I just started balling.”
Sigh … if there is one thing Lisa Marie does not like, it’s an overly sensitive man. He gets my “you are not the father” stamp because a) how can you help me change diapers if you’re constantly weeping over how cute the baby is? and b) I don’t wanna raise no super sensitive children…like it or not, the world is tough and I want to teach my future munchkins to be able to handle it head-on with strength … this seems like it would be harder to do if their daddy is breaking down over every little thing … as a woman who was raised with two brothers and a military father, I don’t even like it when I cry … so to have my man cry unnecessarily is a no-no. Please note that I said unnecessarily … if my man were to cry over something warranted … extreme pain, death in family, loss of job, spiritual distress, etc, then I welcome his tears and would be there to comfort him … truth be told, I find it pretty dang sexy when a man, who is otherwise strong, really lets me in and shows his emotions and trusts me to see him cry … but only if it’s warranted … otherwise man up dude!
Question #3: Where do you live?
Correct Answer: Either “In my condo/apartment” or “In my dorm room (grad school only…I’m a bit of a cougar (a year and half tops), but undergrad is taking it to far)
Wrong Answer: “With my momma … I got the basement all to myself though”
Favorite Aunt tried to hook me up with a dude once … really into Church, kinda attractive, funny, smart, studying to be a doctor … lived at home with his momma…had to end it. Call me discriminatory, but really do not like the idea of a grown ass man still living at home with his mother…after graduation, you have 1 year to move out. After that, you are officially within the Scrub category, so dang it, unless ur momma is sick, you need to move out and get ur own place! Dudes in the Scrub category fall into my “you are not the father” bin cuz I need a man who’s financially independent and knows how to manage real bills on his own without his parents’ help… how can I expect him to help me with a baby when he can’t even take care of himself on his own?
Now…I’ve heard from a couple of my male friends (haters) that conducting this assessment is jumping the gun and unnecessary until you’re actually about to walking down the aisle or rolling into the delivery room. To them I say “sigh … such ignorant … so sad,” for they don’t seem to know that the “wait and see” method has historically been disastrous. Why would I wait to find out if somebody’s gonna be a good husband and father, until I’m already locked in with a ring or picking out cribs? I wanna know as early as possible so I can bring the relationship to a close if I don’t see a long term future with you and/or can’t see myself one day raising kids with you.
What about y’all, do you think assessing an SO or potential SO in this way is overkill? If so, when is the appropriate time? If not, what’s on your list? Agree on my list? Need some modifications, or the same as your? Guys … am I being fair?
I wanted to make it to Caribana this year. Maybe next year… Vegas is a good substitute.
I'll be back in tomorrow
Hunh
#1, I can dig it. I'm not really a Christian as I consider myself more spiritual than religious, and I couldn't possibly date a bible-thumper or a megachurch attendee.
#2. Guess Stephon Marbury's out of the question for you, eh?
#3. This is a tough one. I lived in My momma's basement for two and a half years after college. Immediately after that, I bought an apartment building. So if that made me a scrub at the time, maybe. But I think I would have been worse off in the long run spending a G a month on an apartment. I'd probably still be renting. That said, I'm not one to pretend that my situation is necessarily common, but my guess is that dude studying to be a doctor isn't really at huge risk of living with Moms forever.
I feel you on the house thing. I was at Mom & Pops for 1.5 years after I graduated, which allowed me to save up and buy. I'm going to assume she means like 28 & up at moms with no end in sight …
yea…stephon marbury's pretty much out…not necessarily cuz he cried…but just cuz he's crazy…i mean who eats vaseline?!
There's always a time and a place for all of that & I think for certain ppl age is a factor. Some men aren't for wasting time either & cut right to the chase. I went on a date last night & dude was asking me about my credit score & how soon I'm willing to start building a family lol! Now I'm in my very early 20s & dude was 30, I laughed a lot of it off, but I felt kinda like I was being interrogated. It all depends tho. If you kno what you want & you don't feel the need to waste time these questions are definitely necessary & at least the other party knows what they're getting into.
Oh & uh, who's the Muslim brother?? I'm muslim also, maybe you can swing that my way LoL! J/k
if you're serious i will lol
Darn it! MariCay beat me to it.
Ummm I am too…
ok so im in grad school (i went straight after undergrad) and i live w/ my parents rent-free so it's hard for me to judge a dude who stays at home with his parents. but at the same time i have to. for one thing where we gonna chill? when i first started talkin to this dude, he shared an apt. w/ his LB. he was moving out in a few weeks and i asked where he was going and he said back to live with his parents. should that have been a deal-breaker right there? i mean who is on their own and then goes back? that shoulda been a red flag, right?
You're reading too much into it. See what he has planned for his future then if he's not making any moves, make your decision.
I grew up in a house where my father was a Muslim & my mother was a Christian. We had the freedom to go to either service we preferred, or both. We had the freedom to read both the Quran and the Bible and have our own personal relationships with God. It worked very well in my family & I know others that it has worked for. Religion is such a personal thing, and in my world, its more important to have that personal relationship with God than it is to label yourself a particular religion. But I'm probably unique in that regard.
yea, you're actually one of the few people i've heard say that they come from a multi faith family and that it all worked out well. i've had a few women for which it did not work out well warn me not to do the same, and friends who say they don't believe in God at all since their parents had different religious views…so that's part of where my hesitance comes from…i guess like anything it's a matter of respecting each other's views and opinions and all that jazz…just seems difficult when it comes to religion since that's a very personal and passionate thing for most people…glad to hear that your family was able to make it all work out though
Interesting.
But as with most religious double standards. A man is able to do this in the muslim community, but a woman is not permitted. I guess with the assumption that the dominant male will have final say in these matters, thus having the children follow his faith.
Judaism got it right, by giving this "power" to the mother.
Your family is unique indeed, because in mine the children would be considered "lost souls", like most of those in our family whose father did such a thing.
#1 – yeah, I value being able to worship with my man. I've also gotten slightly more observant with age and I need someone who respects his role as the spiritual head of household.
#2 – agree. I'm not keeping a tissue up my sleeve for the kids and the hubby.
#3 – Eh, age and experience have changed my mind on this one: we Black folk donate a LOT of money to apartment management companies. Most of the white kids from my college had 3-4 roommates post graduation. The ones who didn't had Mom and Dad paying for a good portion of the rent. Think about some of the immigrant families that come and have mom/dad/aunt/uncle/grandma/etc. in the same house? They'll do that for a minute, but when they leave those cramped quarters they move into houses. A lot of us are just extra pressed to get out of the house and pay some rent. But that's not smart long term money management. Live with your parents as long as you can, than pay a mortgage, not rent. Granted there is a time limit – if you're 40 still sittin' at home it better be because you purchased it. But I can't knock anyone in their 20's for livin' with mama. If both of you live with moms fool around in the back seat or something.
Have a good time, SBM.
Assessing your S.O is very important… why waste your time on something that you already know you don't want to deal with?
All of your numbers are on my list and I agree with your responses.
Addiitonally:
How many kids do you have?
Correct answer: One or Fewer
Wrong Answer: Two or more….. I'd rather not be fifth in line of importance in your life.
i can agree with you on number one. i tried to make it work with a couple of women who were muslim. just couldn't do it. i mean how does that work. my sister married a muslim and when my mom re-married she married a muslim. i don't see how it can work when raising children.
i can also agree with you about number two. crying is gay. j/k but for real no dude should be crying like that unless the situation is really major.
see number three is not cool at all. i remember when i graduated from undergrad i moved out within a month because after four years of independence i couldn't stand being at home. i just don't understand how some guys do it. i need to be able to come and go as please.
I agree with ur list if you say all three meant a no no. But I think you should let a dude slide in certain situations. I live on my own and this sh!t is a bisshhh. I wish I was in a situation where I could stay at home. Unfortunately, my pops lives in a one bedroom and my mom lives in the suburbs (I'm a non cop/PO/fireman city employee and they said I have to live in the city I work in, that's some BS right there)
@ Peyso:
I feel you. I had to cave in and move back in April after being out on my own for several years (all through undergrad and into grad), but the financials got to a point where it became obvious to me that I'd never get ahead if I couldn't really save anything. Don't wanna be makin' a landlord rich all my life.
I always fail Question #1. Being agnostic, I provide some shock value to the conversation but most Xtians love to go to the extreme and say "well, are you an atheist." Not necessarily. I don't buy into that Spiritual head of household stuff because most of the men in my family don't talk like that, we just head the household.
Question 2: I see where women ask this question as to determine if their man is a moist cotton ball, however, be careful about totally discounting certain emotions. I know it's hard for me to cry in front of any woman other than my mother. Hell, I lost it a few weeks back talking about my father (RIP). Crying about daily toils? Nah…not the Captain.
Question #3: Guilty at one point. I moved back home after getting back from the war. It took me 3 years to find a decent enough place to move into but I felt like a scrub for that time. I explained why this (then)27 year old was back living with Momz and Popz but I wasn't really hurting that bad. Most women understood, especially following a couple of bouts of unemployment (hard for a soldier I tell ya) and job changes. I would consider a man's situation very carefully in this instance. Some brothas are back at home helping an ailing parent or helping to raise younger siblings. I wonder why sisters aren't damped on as hard about this situation?
I find it hilarious that women measure a mans worth by where he rests his head. Especialy women who also live with their parents or family. In NYC, this is mroe than common. You have to look at situations and do a case by case assessment.
If dude is a recent college grad, no job (recession) and working on finding one, would you rather him be homeless?
If dude has a wealthy fam, went to school and is just living in comfort, then yea hes scrubbing it out.
I know dudes who went to live on their own and had to move back due to financial issues. Its easier in Non NYC areas to live alone, because for the price of a bag of chips and a quarter water, you can have a NICE HOME/Mansion!
I know people who are willing to drop 3Gs on a APARTMENT. Yes… an APARTMENT!! I think thats silly and they will eventually be in the same position.
If a dude has a plan (IE the dude studying to be a doctor) then yea hes going to make moves. At the same time I defintely respect your standards, but as a dude whose lived those multiple circumstances, I can say all isn't what it seems.
if stacking dough, having a plan, and buying time until good homes/condos become available constitutes as Scrubbish, then lets be real and flip that Double Standard to womnen as well, or at least agree that a character assessment is in order before determining if a dudes living arrangement is suspect.
The D.C. area, especially before the bubble burst, is becoming increasingly expensive for the average out-of-school graduate. Sure…if you manage to find a decent gument job, you might have a little stability, but it's not uncommon to pay almost $1200 for rent just to be in a "decent" area. I know a lot of people who turn over a good 45-50% of their income on housing/rent. So unless you're making $65k or better here, your housing might be limited to "affordable" areas which leave a few things to be desired. I also would like to point out that many college educated people have student loans that eat away a good portion of income and that effects them in the beginning of life! So I'm not as hard on a woman's income as they are men, however I would hope that she is empathetic to that individual man's situation, especially since there are more women that I know still at home with their parents than men.
#1 I agree with. We have to be spiritualy compatible. I'm not a "bible thumper," (but i do love me some Jesus!) but as long as we share the same morals and values, I'm cool.
#2 I also agree with. I can't stand a dude that is more emotional than me. I don't cry a lot and you shouldn't either!
#3 For me it depends on the situation. I would definitely give dude a pass if he was staying at home becuase he was in school. He has a goal in mind and i can appreciate that. Now if dude was home just working at McDonald's with no real plan in sight, than I wouldn't give him the time of day. Also, times are hard so as long as he has a plan in motion, i can understand staying at home to save $$$$. I have a friend who stays with his parents because he is saving up money for a house. Mind you he helps build missles for the D.O.D–so I'm sure women give him a pass lol
I generally don't ask for anything out of a person I can't give…
#1. Do you know how hard it is to find someone religiously compatible with me in this country…and I find interest in?! Yes, it always and will forever be a determining factor when I seriously consider a mate (which is 98% of the time).
#2. I'm kinda extreme in my personal non-emotionlessness, so even the un-simp like brothas can come off as simps to me. As long as you don't cry, I'm okay…but whining is considered 1/2 of crying, so don't let that ad up!
#3. As I said in the beginning I don;t ask for what I can;t bring to the table as well. All I really need to know is if your ambitious and your making moves to complete a life's goal.
But do note: I am young and by the time I'm 32..you better have reached your goals, cuz I sure as hell will reach mine (God willingly).
As for kids…. as more and more of my MALE friends (my girls aren't getting knocked up, its these soon to be college educated ninjas around me who are) keep having babies out of wedlock. I'm finding it very disappointing that I can't keep my no kids policy at this freaking age. SERIOUSLY [black] men; I thought we were getting better at the use of protection, etc. Why do I have to deal with a baby mama (or two) at this age!?!? Riddle me that?
berriblk: "Why do I have to deal with a baby mama (or two) at this age!?!? Riddle me that?"
I guess for the same reason I have to deal with a baby daddy. Your girls may not be getting knocked up, but plenty of women are.
*nods*
I guess those baby mamas want to date too.
1. Unless you’re a casual church/mosque attendee and religion isn’t that important to you, I don’t see how people of two religious faiths can have a lasting relationship.
2. Co-sign.
3. Depends. If a man is studying to be a doctor and he’s living at home, what he is doing is fiscally responsible. If a man isn’t in school, working, saving a down payment for a house, or doing something that will improve his current financial status and he’s living at home, then he’s a scrub.
"if stacking dough, having a plan, and buying time until good homes/condos become available constitutes as Scrubbish, then lets be real and flip that Double Standard to womnen as well, or at least agree that a character assessment is in order before determining if a dudes living arrangement is suspect."
That's what I'm saying. Co-sign Hugh too.
I think most of my male friends have gone through this phase and they are now married with children. I'm just happy the women they were seeing (and now married to) didn't see them as a total waste. But you can't say anything to this bougie arsed people nowadays.
"3. Depends. If a man is studying to be a doctor and he’s living at home, what he is doing is fiscally responsible. If a man isn’t in school, working, saving a down payment for a house, or doing something that will improve his current financial status and he’s living at home, then he’s a scrub."
true true, sorta…the danger is in getting too comfortable in this situation…i think we all know someone who has been "saving for a down payment" or "looking for the right house/apartment" while living at home…for the past 3 years….it don't take that long.
Its all relative. 3 years may be a long time for some people but once again you gotta look at the total situation
1) Whats dudes bills like? i know dudes who pay bills at home and chip in liek they were living on their own. Student loans are the Grim Reaper of finances too
2) Extrenuating circumstances – deaths in the family, recession, etc
3) Housing market – just because they stacked $$ and have the means, doesnt mean u jump into just anything because 'its time"
…some dudes do stretch it out though, lol
I want to know how they feel about traditional gender roles. I'm very traditional. I don't want to bother with men who are eager to do 'woman shyt' or who expect me to do 'man shyt'.
Okay…ask that man and also look at the relationship with his family. However, don't frustrate yourself. The lines are skewed with what "man/woman shyt" entails nowadays. As more of us are raised to be self-sufficient (thus becoming autonomous and more isolated), the distinction between gender roles has changed dramatically.
"Correct Answer: Christian. Praise Jesus!"
I kow it was sorta in jest adn or in light-hearted spirit, but the "Praise Jesus" would scare me, actually. lol I am spiritual technically though my beliefs closely mirror those of Christians, I am not a Bible Thumper. While I value their morals and believe the some of the same things they do, they scare me. lol
"… truth be told, I find it pretty dang sexy when a man, who is otherwise strong, really lets me in and shows his emotions and trusts me to see him cry … but only if it’s warranted … otherwise man up dude!"
Same here. The treat in it is that it's RARE. It is super sexy for a strong, stoic man to let me see his emotions because it means that I'm special enough to him to show me this. But, I don't want to always have Kleenex handy to hand over to him Oprah-style. I will squirt in onion in your eye with your crybaby self and give ya something to really cry about. Man up, indeed.
Enjoy your vacay, SBM!!
"I kow it was sorta in jest adn or in light-hearted spirit, but the “Praise Jesus” would scare me, actually. lol "
lol, true, definitely meant that as a joke…it would probably scare me too…i've always found it weird when people answer questions with super expressions of faith…like the response "I'm blessed and highly favored!" to the question "how are you?"…just seems borderline phony to me.
"The treat in it is that it’s RARE. It is super sexy for a strong, stoic man to let me see his emotions because it means that I’m special enough to him to show me this."
true true…the rarity Definitely makes it more special…and it makes me feel super great as a woman for a man to share his emotions with me like that; it's a great intimacy builder
"true true…the rarity Definitely makes it more special…and it makes me feel super great as a woman for a man to share his emotions with me like that; it’s a great intimacy builder"
Definitely an "intimacy builder". Well put!
Well, this is an interesting list. ..The only one I can really agree you with you on is 2.
1) The religion issue. I definitely don't agree with you on it, speaking as someone that is a completely different religion from my girlfriend, but I can respect your reasoning. Everyone can not be in a relationship with someone that is a different religion, but I do think it is a situation that can work. I always love to use the example of one of my college roommates. His mother was Christian, his father was a 5 percenter (Muslim), they have been together since middle school, and successfully raised an upstanding child in Baltimore (the hood), and he is far from confused about his spirituality. People love to say that marriages cant work if people are in separate religious, but hell a lot of marriages don't work when people are of the SAME religion.
3) ARE YOU NUTS. Living at home is not synonymous with being a scrub, even after college. Yes its true some dudes are lazy and lack ambition, and that is why they are living at home. But I want you to really listen to what I am saying and think about this. The average college student graduates from undergrad with $27,803 in udergrad debt. I happen to think this is a low ball number because I graduated with nearly 50K and have friends that owe upwards of 100K. Now, unless you are making crazy dough and most post college jobs don't pay super crazy dough
when you think about it after you have with taxes especially if you have:
- rent/mortgage
- car note
- auto insurance
- retirement savings
- savings
- personal expenses
-and lets not get on the expenses that come with home ownership, like utilities, PMI, homeownesrs insurance, property taxes, condo or HOA fees, etc
It's no reason that more dudes (and females too) are deciding to live at home a little while longer and pay off some of this debt. I thought about copping a house or apt immediately after graduation, but when I really thought about it, why not embark on something like that after I at least knock down half of this debt. If I was to get an apt or condo, and make the min payments on those loans, hell I'd be paying them of till I was 50, and wind up paying almost double in interest. Doesn't really make much sense to me.
Before you ridicule a dude for living at home, find out why exactly he is doing it. Like the dude that commented first said, homie copped an apt building…I bet you wouldnt classify him as a scrub now…would you??
Seriously, y'all. Try to stay at home post graduation as long you can stand it. Help your folks with their bills and stack your cash. This is one of the ways that people attain wealth – imagine throwing $1K or more down the drain when you could be paying yourself through equity in your home? CPT is right, in the DMV a 1 bedroom in a decent neighborhood will cost you about $1K a month. If you live on your own for 2 years that's TWENTY-FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS (down payment, closing costs, school/car loan pay-off, new louis vuitton, er, investments) you've just spent. I see it all the time – black people hemmed up in these dayum apartments. At the very least, suck it up and find some roommates.
And this speaks volumes to the types of expectations that we "Educated Black Folk" are supposed to live up to. Mind you, wages across the board have been stagnant except for those certain niche industries and the top executives of these mega-corporations. I often cringe when I hear people set time lines on when you you "need" to be doing XYZ when the situation in society doesn't dictate that it is comfortably possible.
I'm with you on this. After I graduated, I cringed when I moved back in with my parents after I had been living on my own for 4 years. And yeah it was hard at times, but I saved my $$ and now I jsut closed on a house, and not only did I gain equity but I still have more $$ in the bank than most of my friends. It may be difficult and a thing you do not WANT to do, but please believe me, it puts you ahead of the game and I'm proud to be stable and independent now…now I can get back to dating and find a man! HA!
"In NYC, this is more than common" lemme add that in NYC 1 out of 10 NY'ers live in PUBLIC HOUSING or within 5 blocks of it…so keep that in mind, and yea best believe real estate affects our lives in so many ways unlike other major cities. Really how many young blacks do you meet that live below Harlem? I have never met one- and I was born and raised in Brooklyn. You barely meet any young blacks living in any of the really trendy parts of NYC. That explains why so many young black NY'ers are in the South. This city will kick yo' ass CLEAN. We have studios in basically gentrified ghettos going for $1800…you get bad schools, no where to really eat, lousy supermarkets and the ubiquitous shit on the concrete and STILL no parking spot. This is something I say be wary of before moving out just to name drop your street on a date with a woman. You got some dumb young ppl in NYC who pay half their salary on rent alone. They do all this to be seen and say "I live alone in my condo" BULL$HIT. I agree we need to look at the white college grads and immigrants. They willingly shack up and keep each other informed on deals and when so and so moves out you get first dibbs on the crib. But us (current) young blacks we be DAMNED if we do this…ya never know I might bag a chick who runs away at the sound that I dont LIVE ALONE. This is part of the problem with the new young black-in the 80's Spike Lee took in roomies right after getting into NYU and it stayed that way until I think Skool Daze. However we aint hearing that today and with wages frozen (since the 80's) and cheap credit (started with the repeal of the Glass-Stegal act…know about them usury laws) we run out like fools to obtain things for some sense of security.
So why be surprised when these men with the condos DONT wanna settle down-its a dumb move financially-have fun in the pad first then move out then settle down. What I am saying if you met me and I am paying thru the nose for my pad I will not engage in a relationship until I am tired of living in a loft/condo-after all look at the money I pay for it, and no there is nothing a women can do to convince that me (or any man) that its' time to move on…says who?
I love how for all of your qualifications you referenced how your preferences pertain to the plight of your future children. I do the same thing. Most of the qualifications I have for my future husband have to do with the vision I have for my future children especially in regards to finances. If I didn't want 5+ children (lol), I wouldn't mind marrying a "starving" poet or artist… haha. Actually, I'd prefer it…. BUT I do want a lot of kids and kids cost money! I don't want to just be barely making it. I want my kids to be able to do cool things like join little league teams, take music/dance lessons, etc…
Everyone is scaring me with this moving back in with the parents thang… I really didn't want to have to move back home after college but reading what yall have to say it makes a lot of sense to go back home and doesn't make a lot of sense for me to try and get a place right after college. Ugh… but I really don't want to have to deal with being treated like a baby again. Curfews at 21… not cool.
I can't believe it, I got all the answers right.
A man needs to be the king of his castle, otherwise YOU ARE NOT A MAN. Get out ya momma house, buy her a new house, and get you one too.
A friend recently posted a blog titled "If You Moved Out Your Parents Home Just To Struggle On Your Own – You’re NOT In A Position To Look Down On A DAMN-Body" (http://www.thisisyourconscience.com/2010/11/if-you-moved-out-your-parents-home-just-to-struggle-on-your-own-youre-not-in-a-position-to-look-down-on-a-damn-body/), and of course, it wasn't long until
the usual suspectsomeone made the claim that dudes living at home were sorry, broke asses.I'm not going to bother copy-pasting my responses, but I will say that it is unwise to automatically write a potential off because he graduated 1+ year ago and is still living at home. I personally moved back home a couple of months ago and if my plans end up working out school-wise, I'll have spent 2 years at home before venturing out into the world again. Perhaps he has a specific goal in mind that requires a temporary sacrifice. Perhaps it makes more financial sense to stay at home for those extra 1-2 years.
I'm not going to lie, I did have the thought that it would suck dating someone who lives at home, but that's because I'm used to having at least one "get-away" spot. Mind you, it was usually mine..so I guess I wasn't really getting away, lol. But you know what I mean. Hell, I thought I'd be in agony by now. Perhaps I'm doing aight because there's been no one on my radar. But should a gentleman show up with valid reasons as to why he wakes up in the same house as his momma, I'd be willing to consider him. Why? Because getting to know him will reveal certain telling traits; a man does not have to live on his own for you to know whether or not he'd be a good provider, or can take care of himself. What of the times when, and cultures in which men only left home when it was time to play husband?
Nice! It is so exhausting to search out good high quality information on the internet in the present from educated sources, it is all wannabe's and reused content with only some exceptions. I hope you retain up the great work and I most likely be again to learn extra of your posts in the future!