Comments on: The Get Over It Series: You’re a Ho, and He’s not

By: Kendra

Kendra — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 15:32:19 +0000

Definitely agree with noone and I'm Nice's comments. Well said ^^

By: Slim Jackson

Slim Jackson — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 23:14:14 +0000

This comment is beast. Thumbs up!

By: I'm Nice

I'm Nice — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 01:39:19 +0000

I would agree (more) if men were more consistent and honest in about their behavior in terms of this debate.

What has happened for trillions of years and is still happening is that men have trouble trying to balance the sexuality of a woman with her desired purity. Lol! Some have such issues with this because on one hand, you're drawn to purity (probably because it's the opposite of what you define your masculinity as…seriously when's the last time you hear a guy running being manly and "pure"), and on the other hand your aroused by/titillated by sexuality and not just any ole sexuality…but (whips and chains, handcuffs, smack a little booty up with my belt.)

What this means for women is that men unconsciously (and sometimes consciously) "punish" women (socially–or otherwise…check the Middle East) in some fashion whether they conform to either of these categories.

(I.e. "Pure woman are Grrreat!" And yet, men will ignore them with excuses like boredom… /"Hos are BAD!" And yet, they are getting wifeyed at staggering rates…)

What's also ironic is that despite all the fuss that most men make about whoredom, they still support it and as many others have truthfully stated, will marry a hoe in a second.

In fact I'm willing to bet that if you asked most married women of ANY race, she's probably had a good number of partners under her belt.

Simple supply and demand laws would assert that if more men stopped hypocritically entertaining and/or courting hoes, (while ironically ostracizing them) there would be less of them, if its really that big of a deal to ya'll.

Now before ya'll go all alpha BALListic on me, don't think I'm male bashing because women are similarly ambivalent in some of their descriptions towards men as well.

(Um, yeah…if you REALLY hate assholes or arrogant men, then why do they get the drawers so easily…?)

I just find it interesting that we sometimes like to stack the odds against the opposite sex when our actions show that we don't know what the hell we want in the first place.

By: noone

noone — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:11:35 +0000

"It's really easy to not be a ho" – what are you're referrences? What kind of research has established this? Do men always need to be guided and redirected in regards to sex because they can't self contain? Are you suggesting that women are smarter because we hold the power to either let you have the vagina or not, therefore we are the ones using our brains to a fuller more mature capacity then men?

Yet – men are quick to call a woman a hoe because she uses her power to the best of her ability. *sighs heavily* what a shame men's mentality is.

By: noone

noone — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 13:58:03 +0000

Dr. J, I sense you being a person that needs to be 100% in control and be able to manipulate situations to your favor.

By: noone

noone — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 13:49:47 +0000

Remember, the difference is that woman can be the better player than men. We do it with discretion. Why would you hold back from enjoying something you love because of a man's approval to your sexuality? A man would think that a vagina is for him to possess. His biggest insecurity is knowing that women do not have to try to get sex, that's the kind of power that we have and it kills them inside because they feel powerless in this sense. Their biggest fear is a woman that carries her power well and their only defense is to call her out of her name.

By: noone

noone — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 13:37:31 +0000

I like this. To each it's own

By: Kali

Kali — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:19:18 +0000

My one comment~

SuperHead got married.

All this out the window. LmAo. I know a lot of known hoes who have gotten married. But Anna is right. Only young, insecure men ask the numbers question. If u got to a point in ur relationship, where marriage is up for discussion, or wife'n n general, the 'hoe' concern is a little old n a late topic to b brought up. If u didn't fall in and every man u pass doesn't give her the look and that special 'hi'… Just be happy with who u have. U know u like them tricks she learned anyway.

By: Dr.J

Dr.J — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 10:11:10 +0000

I mean to be perfectly honest. Whether you be man or woman… just get yo' ish together. Man… hos don't get made accidentally, they knew when they was doing ho activity that they shouldn't have done it, but they said to themselves, "I'm doing me" or "Guys do it too" these are not reasons to do anything. It's really easy to not be a ho, you just stop acting on impulse and use your brain.

By: Pam

Pam — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 02:19:53 +0000

I find this post incredibly misogynistic, but unfortunately true.

It seems to me the options black woman have when it comes to sexual politics is this:

A) Have the fortune of getting "boo'ed up" (which is unlikely considering the ratios, and the perils of dating inter-racially), and have as much sex as your partner is willing/able to.

B) Be single and have very little sex or none at all (to avoid the "ho" label). Be frustrated.

C) Have sex when and with whom you want. Be satisfied, but contend with the "ho/damaged goods/undesirable" labels, making getting boo'ed in the future an even harder proposition than previously stated. Which ultimately, after your prime is over or your reputation is shot, leads back to situation "B".

Damn, ya'll. It seems to me that we black women just need to invest in a vibrator and keep it moving! I guess this situation applies to all women regardless of race to some extent, but is just exacerbated among black women (especially the educated ones with standards).

So, Dr. J, being the all-knowing author of this ridiculous post, what do you suggest the black woman do, given the shoddy cards we are dealt? You talk such a big game out what is "wrong" with us Black women, give us a solution!