(Ring Ring went the iPhone)
Dr. J: eeeHello!
Black Girl Lost: J can I tell you something and you not judge me?!
Dr. J: Good morning to you too. Yes, go ahead.
BGL: OK so maybe last night, I may or may not have slept with Joe’s little brother.
Dr. J: Joe, you’re ex-boyfriend Joe?
BGL: Oh my God, I know you make it sound so bad. But Joe is a piece of crap, and he pissed me off this week.
Dr. J: I’m going to need you to realize how much of a hot mess you are right now.
Everybody has had their 15 minutes of shame. Not to be mistaken with the walk of shame. It is 15 minutes of something you know you had no business doing.
1) You slept with that person everyone at your school/job/network knew was a jumpoff
Everybody knows somebody that’s easy. And I hope that most of us know that by this point when you sleep with someone who is known as being easy, it affects your credit history. It could be your local campus jumpoff who everybody knows just smashes everybody who approaches her. Or it could be that one dude on campus that has slept with mad chicks and you sleep with him anyway and everyone is like “eww we already know what you about to do.”
2) You slept with someone you know your homie had feelings for
The fellas and me live by a strict 2-4-6 rule, with a franchise tag. You have two weeks to get the number, 4 weeks to get a date, and 6 weeks to smash. After that, she’s back to the free agents pool and anyone can holla. The ONLY exception is the franchise tag, which you can throw on a chick if you have serious feelings for and are taking things slow. You are only allowed one franchise tag at a time. Other than that… that chick is fair game for someone else to smash. However, some of you’s know you have smashed someone that your boy or home girl definitely had feelings for.
3) You did some sick sadistic sex activity that you hope to never remember
This really doesn’t need to be discussed. You people know who you are.
4) You said something stupid to get the sex
Women are conniving. And they love to get you all the way to the point of entry and ask you a question like, “So where do you see things going?” This is probably the worst time to ask a man anything because he’s likely to just tell you whatever you want to hear and not be sincere. But some women have been guilty of doing this too. A guy will ask you if you’re going to break up with your man, and you’ll tell him that you are planning to do so right away. Months later you’re still having this conversation.
5) You slipped up and effed your ex
Stop FRONTING! People know they still be hitting off their exes months after they break up when they know they shouldn’t be doing so. You may be talking to someone else and you still dip out and rationalize your cheating by telling yourself it doesn’t count since you already slept with the person. I know too many people who years after they break up with their HS boyfriend they still be letting him smash well into their twenties. Stop fronting!
The 15 minutes of shame is about everyone knowing they wrong, but heck things happen and you can’t always prevent them. You just got to be able to deal. You’ll react differently, sometimes you are just quiet for a few days and tell yourself over and over again, “I need to get my ish together.” Or if you’re a female, you’ll say something that nobody on this planet ever believes, “I’m never drinking again.”
I LOVE to bring out the 15 minutes of shame when people love to judge other people. I’m quick to tell people, hey that might be some grimy/sleezy behavior, but you know that all of us have had our moments when we knew we had no business doing what we was doing.
What’s the deal though readers? Care to share any of your 15 minutes of shame stories?
- Dr. J is now taking fall applications for my Fall assistant position.
So … there was this one time, I was going to go see this girl … and I decided to take a knife with me and leave my wallet in the car. You know … just in case.
I personally don't see the issue, but apparently my friends consider this a shameful moment.
And no … I will not elaborate on the story. Use your imagination.
LMAO!!!! She must've looked really good, SBM.
Tales from the Hood, lol
She didn't look that good …
It wasn't the hood …
I was out of town, needed something to do, and while somethings didn't add up, not enough to actually deter me.
Got you.
"needed something to do, and while somethings didn’t add up, not enough to actually deter me."
This is hilarious man.
Soooo I can't co-sign any of the above actions, the most I can say I did was a one hitter quitter & never returned his phone calls. Purely bc of boredom… There's my 15. Eh, sue me lol
@SBM, don't be so selfish lol, please do share.
I don't have any of those above either, MariCay7.
Hmmmmm, my 15 minutes of shame????? Allowing a man who jack-hammered (to the point of causing bleeding) hit more than once, twice, three times.
Nicki, noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, that reminds me of that episode of Sex in the City when it happened to Carrie. Bam!Bam!Bam! You must've seen something in him, girl. You get a Miss -TLee throat punch for that, lol.
LMAO.. I deserve a throat punch and a cooch KICK…. girl, I think I felt sorry for him. (he was gonna be leaving me to do some time)
That's not 15 minutes of shame. That's 15 minutes of pain.lol. Ouch.
LOL!
Smashing an ex seems like a reasonable idea at the time (you're horny, not ready to let someone new dip in the honeypot, horny) – and then it gets emotionally complicated and you realize you're not moving on because you're still smashing someone that you have feelings for but now have no relationship. *sigh*
If I'm saying "I'm never drinking again" it's not because of something I've done sexually. It's because I'm resting my head on a toilet seat. Or the cool, cool tile of the bathroom floor, lol.
"If I’m saying “I’m never drinking again” it’s not because of something I’ve done sexually. It’s because I’m resting my head on a toilet seat. Or the cool, cool tile of the bathroom floor, lol." LOL co-sign!
Some people say that after they've smashed the homies… I know about lot of people who blame it on the alcohol. And once they realize they make horrible sex decision when drunk, they will stop drinking.
LOL Sexin an ex is a criminal offense ive committed a few times.
If I had a dollar for everytime Ive heard about people with bf/gfs lying to kick it, Id be RICH!
I have slept with an ex and she had moved on to her new man. But I really didn't care about her or him it was all about me at that point. She extended the invitation and I accepted.
Never used a line to get sex but I have used one to get head before. and it works pretty well LOL!!
I wouldn't say I have done a sick sadistic sex activity but I have done something I said I would never do again. Just did it because she was into it.
LTTP – I agree with this: "Never used a line to get sex but I have used one to get head before. and it works pretty well LOL!! "
"If its on your shoulder, you might as well kiss it" – Worked like a charm….
I like to go with "It's not gonna suck itself"
I like both of those LOL!!
That one is hilarious! I am laughing my butt off- I've never heard it.
TAWRCLS,CW: "I like to go with “It’s not gonna suck itself”"
My favorite. I used it once jokingly and was actually surprised when she went to work.
LOL…like Chris Rock said, your woman is always down for the freaky deaky, you juss gotta put some bass in ya voice
Just had a 15 minutes of shame, had sex with a dude after we had the talk and he said he just wanted to be friends, then i got mad and went off on him,lmao…..more like 30 minutes of shame,lol
ok. i've been guilty of a couple of these. not going to go into details about which ones because i really don't want to re-live the shame. lol
but as far as number 4. there was this one time i was bout to have sex with this girl. right before she hit me with the "you know if you have sex with me then you can't leave me alone." that brought me right back to my senses and i realized that having sex with her was more trouble than it was worth. i know she was disappointed but hey i'm so glad that i used my other head and saved myself the trouble.
Good job sir! I applaud thee…
Real talk, i've heard that before, and it's nothing that turns me off more than a crazy woman. If you say something stupid like I can't leave you alone, i'm going to pull up my slacks and hit the road.
Your 2-4-6 Rule we called Claiming. First week of school freshman year, all the black dudes in our class (there were only about 20 of us) had a meeting one night to discuss who we would each claim. The black girls in our class foudn out about it and picthed a fit (but they were damn sure curious to know by whom they had been claimed.)
Yo man… Deny Everything… is the wisest words ever quoted. Even if the women pitch a fit, tell them to prove it. And that "claiming" strategy seems a little far fetched with so few people, you have to take what you can get.
Okay So I'm def guilty of number 5. I am the one who is still occasionally smashing an Ex from HS in my mid twenties. I know its bad and I have my 15 mins of shame after everytime…but the sex is effn GREAT….we would just never be in a relationship…..He does have an on and off relationship but they are on and off too many times for me to really care….
Shame on me…but I know I probably won't stop anyway….Ah Wells.
Hmm I'm guilty of a few of these… but my 15 minutes… but first let me say, I was young and dumb… ok here it is:
I met this guy… on the internet… he traveled for more than a day (literally) to see me… first time we saw each other we got it on… several times… raw… yeah… and he's from DC… double yeah.
With the way things are looking in DC right now, I am lucky to be alive!
We can laugh about it now, but boy oh boy if I could talk to my younger self, I'd slap me, lmao.
"you've got me….. speechless…."
I'm from DC … damn!
If one more girl acts like everyone from DC is just crawling with the AIDS … I swear!!!
You swear what? Hold up, lemme take off these earrings first, lmao!
Naw, jk., I live in the area too SBM, but this sh!t's real.
After testing people all day long, and having to be the one who gets the results back, maybe I have a different view than you because I've had to deal with the reality of 1 in 20 on a daily basis. Truly, I do feel lucky… and so should every other person screwin folks without protection… especially around here.
((Steppin off my soap box now, lest I be nick named the preacher))
Yeah so this one time I ran into one of my former fwb…he had a chick now, lived with her, all the nice little couple things..yeah I let'em hit for old times sake!! We both felt bad. I was def feeling like a "home wrecker." I hate being a #5 but it does make the moment before the shame hella good!!
24 years=30 minutes total::::::15 for continuing to sleep with my highschool sweetheart, EVEN THOUGH its been 7 yrs since we met, 4 years since we broke up, and we've been living in separate states for college and beyond but still getting it in every X-mas…
Another 15 for innappropriate oral conduct with a boo's roomate while he was away-chalking it up to payback for mistreatment/ general shadiness while we were boo'd up….he found out and asked me about it. I said I heard that we were "just friends" so i figured i'd play the position…
COLD BLOOOOOOOOOODED!
Son this post is just on point on so many levels.
I heard that we were "just friends".
still SMH at what a little mutual/ shared shame can do. we worked it out some kinda way and dont speak on it to this day….its easier to tango w/ someone when u KNOW what they're capable of…
Oh wow……Too much sugar for a nickel as my great-grandfather says…..
IF ITS ON YOUR SHOULDER????!!!AS IN SHE FELL FOR THT …..ARE U FOR REAL….PEYSO?
Very intereseting tunde,theni just might start using tht trick.I'll just say it to a guy when i rily dont want to sleep with him cos ikm not sure of his deal, and he'd go scampering away.lmao.!
15 minutes? More like 15 months off and on. . . Guilty of the X factor. No excuses. . . its just damn good. Does this qualify for the 15 minutes of shame if I do it over and over and over and over again?
Dr. J!
I'm totally feeling someone that my friend is semi-feeling. Unfortunately, she met him first and introduced me. Kinda been making eyes and what not.
This.is.dangerous.
I hope not to earn my 15 minutes… although I'd be happy with 30.
What is your Fall Position?