I have something to tell you … and you might not like it.
It might make you angry. You might not want to believe it. It might have you yelling at the computer “SBM … youz a dirty sumb*tch”. Actually, to save us all some trouble, if you an over sensitive individual … come back tomorrow. I don’t want to make anyone cry.
So what is this news … well … if the title didn’t give it away, I’m here to let you know one thing:
You suck!
And honestly … yo momma sucks too, yo brotha, yo auntie, and yo sista too!
And yes … your boy SBM sucks too (super pause).
So what am I saying? What little tidbit of non-relationship knowledge am I trying to dish out today? What’s my f*ing point?
We all suck … in some way.
As I continue to grow and mature into the debonair gentleman with the ability to move with his words and make panties fly off with the quickness, I have come to appreciate a modest person. It’s refreshing to meet someone who is aware of their faults, doesn’t make a big deal of them, but realizes that they are flawed … and accepts it. While you should always strive for perfection, and confidence is a must … don’t be that arrogant motherf*r.
And lets talk about that arrogant mofo! You ever worked with someone who just refuses to admit they made a mistake? I mean, their section of the report is filled with errors, they messed up the entire schedule for the project, and their part of your task at work is incomplete and just shoddy. And instead of “sorry, I’ve been under a lot of stress” or “my bad … my girl wanted to practice this new anti-gagging technique she found on the internet spend some time with me” … they blame you, their boss, their computer, and Obama. Personal responsibility … “where dey do dat at”?
What about that girlfriend/boyfriend that just never does any wrong?
You: “So … how come you don’t have a job exactly?”
Them: “You know … recession and sh*”
You: “But you haven’t worked since 99′. I mean … Clinton was getting domed up back then”
You: “So … why did you think it was ok to cheat on me”
Them: “It’s your fault you know. You don’t spend enough time with me. You drove me to it!”
You: “So … why do you think it’s ok to disappear for two weeks and not say anything to me?”
Them: “I’m saying though … home ain’t fun no more. It’s your fault. You changed!”
You: “Yeah I changed … we been together for 15 years … you sposed to be in for the long haul”
You: “So … I’m not trying to be mean or anything, and you know I love you, but you literally gained 100 lbs in 6 months. I mean, this is just dangerous for your health”
Them: “It’s not my fault. McDonald’s just opened up near the office and they got 4 nuggets for a dollar! I mean … chicken nuggets … for a dollar!!!”
You: “They also got apple dipper’s and fruit and yogurt.”
Them: “You can’t eat that with crack sweet and sour sauce silly!”
And just to show that I’m not just talking, I present to you the: SBM List of things he sucks at:
- Keeping a clean room … hell … cleaning in general
- Not worrying about stuff. I am not Mr. “Go with the flow” … at all!
- Not giving women multiple orgasms. I’ve tried to keep it down to like 3 at most … but it’s hard (no pun intended).
- Keeping deadlines … even the ones I set for myself (blogging is a good example!)
- Being extroverted. This might be a shock … but I’m shy. I’m the life of the party amongst friends, but put me somewhere where I don’t know anyone … sheeeeeeet.
- Not buying electronics. A lot of women love shoes and purses … I have 4 computers, 2 ipods, a new $250 cell every 8 months, and 2 xboxes.
I want to thank you all for coming here and letting me tell you that you suck. Turn to your right, and tell your office mate that they suck. If there isn’t anyone there, go ahead and text everyone in your phone with them two magical words “you suck”. Because … if you can’t accept and understand that you are going to suck at some things, and that you suck at a few things right now … then your lost.
So, how do you suck? What facets of your life do you slum at? Come on … don’t be shy … we family!
-SBM aka Mr. “No more SBM … my body can’t take another one” aka Dirty is the new clean aka Average negro
Hmmm….
I suck at doing things in moderation. I tend to everything to the extreme or completely abstain.
I suck at being patient. I want what I want when I want it. I'm an only child. *shrug*
I suck at showing emotion when I'm supposed to. Sometimes, when you cry – I just stare.
I suck at letting grievances go. I tend to hold a grudge (but I'm working on that).
OMG why? Sigh…fine. FINE.
Right now I suck at getting this article done by deadline tomorrow AM for print on Wednesday.
I suck at being fake. If I don't like you, I'm not going to talk to you just because we're in the same aisle at the grocery store.
I suck at maintaining a bed time. No matter how early I have to get up, I'll eff around and stay up writing or reading half the night.
I also suck at keeping a clean room.
I suck at not cussing when I'm driving. I don't get road rage, but when I'm on the road I find that cuss words just fly outta my mouth.
Well, I've had just about enough of this self examining stuff. You suck, SBM…
I suck at:
1. patience: I want it now!!!! And I don't like to hear kids takling nonstop. Just shut up and do what I said.
2. communicating: J knows about that.
3. listening… I'm a good listener but if you're talking for a long time, or taking too long to the point, I'll try to fiinish your sentence or tune you out.
4. non-judgment. I cut people off very easily (i.e. my girls for being excessively stupid.)
5. stick-to-it-tiveness: I lose passion for things quite easily and they tend to fall by the wayside if not always up in my face as a constant reminder.
"listening… I’m a good listener but if you’re talking for a long time, or taking too long to the point, I’ll try to fiinish your sentence or tune you out."
THIS. lord knows I have a short attention span and hate a beat around the bush story teller. hit the key points, then allow me to ask questions if I need/want more info. jeez.
and not having patience.
AMEN. lol
I suck at getting things done on time
I suck at keeping in touch with people
I suck at being extroverted too….. people never believe when i say i'll rather stay home and watch tv than go try out the new bar with $5 drinks
I suck at nipples.
I suck at patience. A lot of times I shop out of impulse rather than finding the best deal. I also hate waiting on other people. I'm also not patient in arguments with folks, especially when I know I'm right. I need to get better.lol.
I suck at being extroverted as well. I don't hide in a corner cowering, but I definitely don't try to be the life of the party. Strike up a conversation with me and I'll gladly indulge. Ask me to host the VMA's and I'll crap my pants.
I suck at maintaining a completely tidy room. I've never been good at it. I think I've gotten better, but I'm still not good at it.
LMAO @ I suck at nipples.
Ooo…now seeeee, you know you ain't right! Okay here goes, lol:
1) STUBBORN should be my first, middle and last name.
2) I don't do grey…either I like you or I hate you..ain't no maybe
3) Pessimistic optimism..yeah I know
4) Not very forgiving, even for the smallest things. You're on my sh*t list for life.
5) Hair trigger temper for the smallest of perceived slights against me.
6) The ability to laugh at myself…..I'm working on it.
I know I have my faults. I'm the first one to tell you i'm always working on my ish.
1) i often find myself doing things that i really don't want to do, just to make others happy
2) i am extroverted, but introverted. i may have extroverted behavior, but it usually lacks substance, people who really know me, know that i'm only known well by a few people. so maybe i need to work on letting people in.
3) i am mr. go with the flow. i get teased at work about never arguing or caring or freaking out about anything. most times i'm just like, "i mean cool, doesn't matter to me."
4) i am silently picky… i will not like something and won't ever say anything about it. a person will push me to my breaking point and then i explode, I HATE WHEN YOU, and the person is like… wtf? why didn't you tell me?
1. I suck at listening…if you start rambling on i am tuning u out…my attention span is terrible.
2. I don't really show my emotions and I have been told that I am not an "effective communicator." I can communicate effectively, just if I don't want to talk about it, I am not going to. I know that can be frustrating for others but that's just how I am. And i know i suck for it.
3. I am too freakin nice! I hate this…I just don't feel the need to be a b*tch all the time, but I realize that people take that for granted and assume they can walk over me. Negative.
4. Since i don't open up so easily, I have a tendency to let stuff build up until I explode, which is no bueno.
**sidenote…SBM u had me crackin up on twitter talking about the FUBU dude…he clearly sucks at life!***
"I don’t really show my emotions and I have been told that I am not an “effective communicator.” I can communicate effectively, just if I don’t want to talk about it, I am not going to. I know that can be frustrating for others but that’s just how I am. And i know i suck for it.":
Geez- you sound like me. I'm trying to change. lol
"Since i don’t open up so easily, I have a tendency to let stuff build up until I explode, which is no bueno."
This too.
Glad I am not the only one! I'm trying to work on it…but it's so hard!
I suck at listening to dumb people – please be clear and concise
I am Mr. Go with the flow – I wont argue with u, i dont care enough
I am Mr. my opinion is much different from everyone elses – if i do give you my opinion it will be much different than everyone elses
I am Mr. logical – stuff doesnt need to necessarily make sense, they just have to follow a logical progression of thoughts
So Imma step out of denial and accept my faults…
Hi Im TiffanyNicole and I suck:
*at communicating how I feel when Im in a relationship. I usually just ride out with whatever the situation may be until I just feel like I gotta walk away. I'm not an argurer. I do my best to avoid conflict and confrontation. Now this doesn't mean I will let you just use me as a doormat, though! This so goes with my passive nature–I get it from my Daddy. Crazy thing is on my job or any other situation I am usually one the speak first….ummm
*at letting my "hair" down and enjoying myself. I can be so focused on work and others that I forget this is MY life that I only get one shot at.
*giving myself the credit I deserve. I guess this goes along with the last one. To me some of my accomplishments don't mean shyt. My family and friends tend to brag and give me major props, but I mean if I have only made an impact on me really what have I done???
*at doing laundry, washing dishes, and cleaning the bathroom! Im determined to hire Merry Maid! I know how to do these things but damn I hate it with a passion. Then I first got out of college I did laundry once a month. I know! Clothes got dirty I just went out and bought new ones! In hindsight I was young and crazy!!!!
lets see. i suck at:
* not procastinating. i'll literally wait until the 13th hour to do something. it's like i thrive on seeing if i can make a deadline.
* not letting my emotions show in my facial expression. i really can't hide when i'm frustrated, mad or just plain bored when i'm talking to someone.
* not holding grudges. if someone slights me, i'll remember it forever (i have a great memory).
I suck at:
1. sensitivity – I proved this yesterday when mouthing off at my sister about having a tattoo (it was fake though). I've become pretty rigid in my old age.
2. needing someone around – cos I don't. As a matter of fact, I'm beginning to have to build up a tolerance for certain guests.
3. Not getting angry when stuff comes up – yeah I worry, but normally I'm more pissed off that something stupid happens at the most inopportune time.
4. Finishing a huge project – I'm too scatterbrained sometimes, but no one tells my favorite message board to keep posting useful information and links.
Hello All! I’m new to the site.
I know there a lot of things about me that SUCK…I’ve known it for years; and I’m always up front about it.
1. Talking – I talk too much (and I’m not a good listener)
2. Sensitivity – I’m blunt and I don’t believe in preserving feelings
3. Attitude – My attitude is AWFUL! (I’ve been working on this for years)
4. Time – I get there when I get there, if show time is 7, tell me 6:30 or I will be late
5. Saving money – I just like to spend!
6. Faking an orgasms – It may or may not be your fault. I just might not be that into you…or maybe it’s a bad day; revert back to #2 I will not fake it!
I also suck at being extroverted. It takes me some time to get warmed up to folks, but when I do…well, I'm a plum fool and the comic relief of the group. Also suck at:
1. Productivity. I can procrastinate with the best of 'em. When I DO actually decide to start a project, I love the feeling of completing something…but I can't for the life of me STOP putting ish off to the next day. I need to work on that.
2. Spontaneity. It's why I always gravitate towards folks that are this way. I always gotta plan ish. I CAN be spontaneous at times depending on my mood, but it's not normally in my nature. Like, when I go somewhere I don't know how to get to, I have to have every single route mapped out and how I'm getting there because I HATE being lost.
3. Emotions. Meaning, I let them get the best of me at times. I'm a cryer. But not necessarily in public. I am great at keeping a touch facade at the appropriate moments/places (such as at work…you won't catch me crying at the desk), but once I get alone (like in the washroom)…floodgates. It's how I express anger as well. Dayum loose a*s tear ducts.
4. Expressing My Feelings. I've gotten much better at this, but I have a tendency to let things build up over time, which is NOT healthy.
Wow good post!
My shortcomings [||]
1) Patience: Im patient wiith some things, others I can't. I'll get frustrated easily and lose focus
2)Blunt honestly: Im naturally political with answers, but at times people need to knwo the truth with no sugar coating. Sometimes I care too much about being perceived as an asshole or arrogant, but sometimes the truth just sounds conceited.
3)Sometimes my conscience gets in the way of things that NEEDS to be done. Not saying I want to pick and choose when to be "good/evil" but sometimes Ill take others feelings into consideration before my own.
4) Trusting my natural instinct: This is especially with directions! I'll have a hunch on how to operate, but I may hesitate somewhat and end up making the wrong choice.
5) procrastination – its not chronic, but I naturally work at my best with pressure, so sometiems I procrastinate to induce that pressure in order to perform at an optimal level
this is funny…and therapeutic.
i suck at:
1. patience…it's just not there…for ANYthing.
2. masking my emotions…everything i think/feel shows on my face.
3. letting go of past hurts…i appear to have forgiven you…but inwardly i can't stand your ass and live for the day when you regret you were ever born. just kidding. kinda' LMAO
4. not softening my words…i'm rather blunt…yet i'm the one people come to when they want the whole truth and nothing but the truth. catch 22. i'm working on this.
Im new to this site but I love it!
I suck at a ton of things that Im working on, but off the top of my head:
1) not caring about people. Even when they screw me in the process, I still forgive them and then tend to get screwed over again. Im too nice sometimes.
2) being on time. People better tell me to be somewhere 30 min early because no matter how early I leave, Im still late.
3) Keeping to my schedule. Somehow I always fall behind in my list of things to do for the day.
4) being a neat freak. Although I love coming home to a clean crib, it just ain't happening.
5) showing my emotions. Unless you really know me, I will put up a front and force a fake smile even if something is wrong. When I decide I want to tell you what's up, I will.
Let's see…
I suck at:
1) Giving a brother the boot… how many no call no shows & I'm sorry baby can there possibly be?
2) Patience… just give me a synopsis, don't need an hour long blow by blow on your day. I can ish to do.
3) Slow drivers.. if I ever get arrested. Trust, it will be because I rammed my truck into the the slow a$$ in front of me. And damn it… this is NJ we CAN turn right on red!!
4) Doing my own hair.. hence the braids and the short doo when they come out (mind you.. short doo's need maintenance **sigh)
5) Folks talking 2 loud at the movies… it's $10 a head, can you please STFU for 2 hours??
I suck at not doing things at the last minute. Procrastination is a dirty bitch.
I suck at patience. 'Nuff said.
I suck at showing emotion. I tend to bottle stuff up and I rarely cry…
I suck at maintaining my hair. I keep it in a wrap when it's permed and in braids when I'm natural.
This was funny.
Is it a bad thing, that I think about the things I suck at…all the time? Constant self reflection…thin line between that and self loathing about the sh*t I just can't get right! Let's see:
1. I suck at selling myself and being proud of my accomplishments (especially professionally). Hence why I feel that I suck at interviewing.
2. I suck at self care: eating properly, getting enough sleep, TAKING enough "me-time" out of my ridiculous schedule…
3. applying my work, and all this psychological theory, and all good sh*t I do in therapy with clients daily, to my own ish.
4. Watching Netflix movies in a timely manner. I once gave them $$ for 9 months str8 and didn't watch any damn movies! And you know I ain't sending a movie back without watching it…
5. taking contacts out daily/nightly…I need to stop playin' with my round browns!