I did a post the other day over on that condescending prick’s my buddy Slim’s blog the other day about the top 5 reasons women should enthusiastically “baby sit” her SO’s kids. According to the old saying, sometimes it’s better to give than to receive. And honestly, sometimes a lot of men don’t receive all they should because they front on the giving. If you’re a guy and you’re not going down on your lady, that puts you in the same boat as women that don’t give head, and that’s whack. So here’s the list, I guess you can call this some sort of female appreciation post…
You Should Be Doin It Anyway
First off, if you’re not doing it for her, that’s just lame. That should be highlighted, bolded and put in italics on your resume. Twice. And if you are doing it hopefully you’re licking her until she soaks the sheets up and not being stingy with it. Sh*t, if you expect her to give you immaculate mouth hugs, you gotta give her some motivation. A little extra special attention goes a long way. But in the interest of having a well rounded bedroom game, this feature should come standard. Your foreplay game should be as good or better than your d*ck game. Trust me, I’m a Cocksman.
She’ll stroke up your ego, then you
I know it’s supposed to be all about her, but there’s just something about hearing your lover say your name in between moans over….and over….and over….and over, all while calling the Lord’s name in vain. It’ll make you feel like the king of the world to have her contorting and squirming in utter ecstacy because you are handling your business.
It’ll make your life easier
If you know what you are doing down there, you should be able to make her fire one or two off before you even get to body rocking. That takes care of half the work you gotta do right there. By the time you get around to dropping the hammer, she be ready to explode, and explode she will. She’ll ravage you with a wild look in her eyes like she just got out of jail then bring you a brew and a sammich once you’re done for your efforts. It’s the same idea like warming up your car…you wanna have it nice and warm when you hop in.
She will be open for other things
You know that position where the chick hangs off the edge of the couch backwards laying on her shoulders that you been meaning to try but she’s too scared to do it? Well if you keep doing this consistently, one of two thing will happen…either you’ll be able to talk her into much easier, or you’ll be able to manuever her into it while she’s laying there paralyzed from climaxing all over herself. Try not to break her neck though, could be a bit awkward to explain to friends and the authorities. So if you ever wanna break out that sex swing or those door cuffs, this is where you start.
If you don’t, someone else will
You know how you have the number of that freaky chick with the no gag reflex? Well women too have encountered a gentleman with a sick tongue game, and she knows where to find him. You ever wonder why she’s messing with “that dude”, or you wonder why the girl who’s world you thought you rocked won’t return your texts anymore? That’s because someone else is going the extra mile you won’t embark on. It’s human nature to want to go where the grass is greener, and the fellow that is willing to play in her grass will always have the upper hand on you.
I’m pretty sure that some of our female clientele can come up with some more reasons why you be licking it before you stick it, but this is just a few reasons from the perspective of the League of Cocksmen. The bottom line is no matter what level the relationship, there should always be some sort of compromise between the sexes, especially in the bedroom. So if you are barely blessing your woman or not blessing her at all, then you shouldn’t be complaining that she does the same to you. Over the weekend, if you are one of the more reluctant cats, take these words of advice with you while you’re tearing up the sheets this weekend and see how it works out for you. And if there’s absolutely no chance of you getting laid this weekend, now you know why.
It’s not the lotion that makes my face shiny,
The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Hurricane Tongue
Amen. Twice.
Ya know, your pic kinda looks like you could be enjoying some face. Just a thought.
Facts: I'm white. I'm a computer nerd. I've been reading SBM for about 2 months, and I secretly love it. This is my first time posting. I think this is dead on:
Allow me to get real, I'm 23 and a virgin for a variety of good/bad reasons. Beside the point, I have a FWB/girlfriend crossover situation happening with a girl I've known about 10 months and I think sex is in the cards.
Now, I've heard that guys last about a minute their first time, and the last thing I want is to disappoint this girl. So like any nerd I did some research. I read just about every sex advice article on AskMen.com, and the recurring theme is take your licks downtown. So to speak.
Anyway, your quote sums up my strategy for better or worse. Wish me luck, advice appreciated.
Research is your friend my fellow nerd in the struggle. Its 2009 resources are abundant. Stay thirsty my friend!
@ A White Nerd
It's gonna be more like 30 seconds, but don't worry…that will improve w/ time. And try rubbin one or two out before the throwdown that might help!
IDK … my first time I actually ended up lasting … well … a long time. I have been cursed with the opposite of the minute man syndrome, like hours.
I don't know if "the opposite of the minute man syndrome" is a curse lol
It is when you got things to do, lmao
wish u luck…hope it isnt to late….she'll probably cut u some slack since its ur 1st time (bt make sure she knows that lol otherwise it'll b ur last time wt her)
Yes Yes Yes!!! There's nothing like that toe curling, sheet pulling, back arching, damn near black out orgasm. Game on!!
Yay for this post!!
When I discovered you could make tears roll down a woman's face from being a cunning linguist, I honed my skills to be one of the memorable ones. Don't forget to teach them the technique of the hook! You'll have her coo coo bonkers in minutes.
SAY THAT!!! How do I put this delicately…I don't think I can so I'll just say "duck and close your eyes, squirting may occur"
We like squirters.
My name is Hugh Jazz and I approve this message.
What?? The hook? What is that?
Have I been totally missing our on something??
What?? The hook? What is that?
Have I been totally missing out on something??
If you don't know then yes you've been missing out or maybe you just don't call it the hook! It's when they make the 'come here' motion with their finger to get at your G Spot. Powerful powerful stuff!
hmmmm….well I guess I have been missing out on this awesomeness…
I knew it….I've been deprived! lol
Works 95% of the time.
"It’s not the lotion that makes my face shiny"
Freakin' dead!!!!! LMAO!!!
I've been lurking awhile, but finally commenting…love the blog.
*waving*
*waving back* hey girl!!!
Between this and kissing..you may as well call it a wrap, I'm putty in your hands. My name may as well be Loveneedandwantyou..and whooo chile if you grab my hips while at it, you may find yourself in a headlock, covers gone, pillows on the the ceiling fan (yeah exactly), dayum baby what you want for breakfast lunch and dinner! Buck nekkid in the kitchen frying up some bacon cheeseburgers (that I don't eat) getting the mess popped out of me singin Head to Toe by Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam at the top of my lungs! WHAT! Sh*t…!
LMAO!! Not Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam!! That was the joint back in the day!!! Ain't nothing like gettin it good!
Shhoot! You better know it! LOL
Absolutely nothing worse than man who doesn't know what he's doing AT ALL. I tried to give him credit for trying, but I eventually just moved him out of the way. He lacked enthusiam. If you don't wanna be down there, GET UP.
Kick him in the face next time. He will get the message.
I'm kidding…or am I?
Very True…don't be half*ssed about it, if you're going to do it show some enthusiasm, don't do me no favors b/c all you're going to do is make me mad.
Ugh… so true. & u definitely gets NONE after that showing.
Three zorro snaps and an amen. There is nothing like having that boneless feeling while rapidly blinking your eyes. You find some ice cold beer along with a hot meal and your fav X-box games ready for you to play when get home.
not Z formation, lmao!
I don't know why I had to read through the first two paragraphs to figure out what this post was about…lol…I'm so slow…but cut me some slack, its Friday
But awesome post….it made me realize that as a women, there are some things that we are entitled to. Especially if you are "putting in work".
Sadly, I have ran into one of those men who are clueless about what they are doing. Um…hello, Google that ish son!
You cannot google the right way to munch box.lol.
The best part is when they get to the point that they can’t take it anymore, and start digging their heels into the mattress to try to push themselves away, but you hold them by the waist and hips so they can’t, and they don’t realize how loud they are screaming, and breaths are getting shallow, and between the breaths they are saying your name or muttering incoherent jibberish, and they start rocking and grinding their hips harder, and it feels so good they don’t know what to do with their hands so they grab you by the back of the head, then grab the sheets, then squeeze their brea$tS, then throw pillows on the floor, and their legs are straight up in the air with toes curled, and the loud scream before the big O.
You have been owned. Now make me some pancakes.
Ya'll are evil like that!!!
We love it though.
Trust, if a kat has me like that, he's definitely gettin' something homemade afterwards…lol
OWNED. Lmao. Pancakes, sausages, eggs, grits, fresh squeezed OJ w/o a juicer (lol), bacon… & whatever else I can find in my kitchen.
I dun like you! LOL!!
haha…I'm about to make you some pancakes just for writing that…lol
<3 <3 <3
reciprocity is the name of the game.
See I'm one of those who doesn't mind breakin off a little " Becky" (thanks Plies for corruptin the southern airwaves–can't believe they play that song on the radio!). So you do me I will fosho do you!
At this point in my adulthood, there are some sexpectations:
Foreplay more than a long kiss
More than one session–two will do me right,
Feedback–doesnt have to be a lot–jus cant be silent
A mental connection–we both gotta have the same goal–mutual satisfaction
Nice post, now you gotta get a woman to tell how "Becky" should be a requirement!
good post. i really don't understand guys that don't give their women facetime. its something that is an essential part of sex. the yoni is to be devoured like a delicacy. i agree. it is really better to give than receive.
I am not a giver…. I'm an only child. Selfish. Have a small tongue.
I was always disgusted by it when I was a teen. I saw how those who tasted the forbidden fish were mocked as a teen.
Eventually I gave in.. heck I was so happy just to see it I would have shaved it if a girl had wanted…
I limited myself to only dinning on wifey (and this one time I had to do my boss and I couldn't not perform). Even with wifey I really limited it to once in a while, yet I would always request some headie poo to start me out right (selfish me).
Wifey didn't mind.. however I recently have had to urge to have some nice shaven monkey in my face all the time. She is starting to get on her nerves, b/c even when I'm getting polished before or after the show (or sometimes in a substitute for the show) I still request a good 67+2.
I started randomly eating it everytime she is on the phone with her mother or annoying freinds. I thought I was doing it for my own perverted pleasure.. than the b!tch commented one day "you know, we have been on a good run with sex lately." Which is odd, b/c I was worried all this eating was lowering the value of my stings.
So what brought on the change of heart all of a sudden?
Well I always liked looking at it.
I just like a nice shaved female crotch in my face … helps me get my nut.
Its only natural I would stick my tongue out (even accidently). I just got use to loving the taste and smell of it.
And the feel of a waxed one on your face! Its like kissing the best DSL ever. If you don't wax you should be flogged and beaten. You are robbing your man.
Some of these posts are off the hook.!! LOL! I don't know about the other ladies but I don't care for nibblers, keep your teeth in your mouth I just want your tongue and lips. I WILL kick you. Feel me?
CO-SIGN, ABSOLUTELY NO TEETH EVER!!!!
I JUST WANT UR TONGUE!AND I LIKE THE CROOKED FINGER THINGY, IT NEVA FAILS TO WORK WITH ME.
OK, "Kick him in the face", OMG I just love that. I'll be cracking up all day. Y'all a mess. My peps. Love & Peace. HA. "kick him in the face". LOL
Giving head is a selfless act that 95% of the time will get you whatever you want specially if you great at it!!! Never Fails