Ok, enough all of that. Here’s what I wanted to say. I done figured out something out about women, you sneaky little creatures. While all these men are sitting in the mirror thinking to themselves, “Damn have I slept with that many more women than she has men?” Nah son, you haven’t adopted the female numerical system. Below are a few notes:
-ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, NOTHING COUNTS…. This can be extended to the entire month/week depending on how she celebrates.
-If he didn’t finish, it didn’t count
-If she was drunk, it didn’t count
-If she doesn’t remember, didn’t count
-If she was in the islands or overseas, it didn’t count
-If she was mad at another guy, whether it be her man or eff buddy, didn’t count
-If she didn’t tell her friends, didn’t count
-If she COULDN’T tell her friends, for reasons such as, he’s ugly, he’s disgusting, or just generally an old monkey ass “negro,” that’s right, didn’t count
-If it was wack, didn’t count
-If she was, “going through a stage,” i.e., Arissa from real world, didn’t count
-If she was in a three or moresome, that counts as one
-If he was younger than her, unless, it was some Pretty Ricky, Chris Brown, feel good, didn’t count
-If he dies, there’s no proof of sex, so he is removed too (that’s for my hood girls, i luv yall)
So here’s a simple formula to figure out how many people a girl has slept with based on what number she gives you: Take that number, square it, add ten times the original number, add 25, take the square root (rounding to the nearest whole number), subtract your original number. And you’ll get the right number…
Now just to bring this all back together, it’s funny that’s the same number you get when you ask a guy how many people he slept with, LMAO.
I never think people ever ask the right questions when playing Never Have I Ever… Dr. J
COSIGN….
this is ridiculous son. what if it were actually true though? lol the only way this formula would work is if you actually cared enough to ask her number in the first place. i know i don't.
So no matter what you do you get 5?
The first time I tried it I was like that's only one more than the number then I did it again and got the same thing.
TRICKERY! Now where's my treat?!
I say it doesn't count if you did it in the club.
If you did it in high school and if you didn't enjoy it really shouldn't count!
Because it was high school and you didn't like it it didn't count? I just don't understand statements like that.
I think I wrote a whole post in the past about how everything counts.
U get the same number b/c ur rounding
@SBM-I took this post as humor and responded as such. I wasn't having sex in highschool sooooo…. nothing counts from then.
Good Day! Miss ya!
@Peyso-Hmmm… perhaps my Math is shoddy. I got five everytime I did it.
For any lady who doesn't want to reveal her number, 5 is the magic number for you!! And to add to your list, Dr. J., every year after the age 25, you subtract one. If you are 5+ years removed from undergrad, none of the undergrad booty counts toward your number.
Why do we need to know? That is not need to know information. Don't ask me and I won't ask you. I don't really care.
this was a very funny post…
if i was on the rebound it doesn't count!
I'm adopting the "going thru a phase" blanket exemption (with some sub-categories). I will also utilize the "credit for time served" deduction (My #1 stayed the only one for 14 years…keep in mind I'm only 31). In which case my number is -4. Now don't ask again.
"For any lady who doesn’t want to reveal her number, 5 is the magic number for you!! And to add to your list, Dr. J., every year after the age 25, you subtract one. If you are 5+ years removed from undergrad, none of the undergrad booty counts toward your number."
Lol…I almost fell out on that one but I love it. Classic NIA!!!
I tried this damn formula and I got a negative number. Just wanted to say that
Actually…if I care enough to ask (which I usually won't because I know I will get a half-truth) then I would take whatever she says and multiply it times three with a 2+- margin of error which usually is her "lapse in judgement" numbers. So if she says 5, then it's usually 15 give or take a couple, and since 5 is usually the ones she was "in a relationship" with, the other 10+- are usually "just friends" or impulse lays.
Dang I'm surprised my math is that good.
Hilarious post lol
I don't think it was about numbers, as much as it's about not counting ish…
Honestly, I can put this in perspective… I legitimately stopped counting. I sat I wrote a list, and I burned that ish, like in 2004 and since then, I have no recollection of the number and no intentions on wasting a day of my life to write it out again.
hahaha. This post doubled my number.
I see no reason to lie about it. I'm no seasoned vet but I'm not fresh off the bench… If I expect you to tell me the truth if (although I probably don't wanna know) I ask, then you can assure that I will tell you the truth also.
When asked, I always give the real (the real, real) number. If probed more, I'll explain why I might PREFER not to count ol boy who was only two pumps and a bump, but why I still count him. And, if I ask someone, I want the damn truth! I'm more interested in the stories behind the numbers, than the actual numbers. I care more about why you're having sex at Great Adventre Theme Park than how many times you hit it in that dark cave. I keep track of my numbers, as well as my different partners, as well as dates of penetration! (sorry, it's the neurosis) I know what I'm doing, so why wouldn't you?
If she has a boyfirend, it counts as +2
This post is TOO funny… The worst part about this though is that some people actually live by these "rules"…most people have sexual encounters they would like to erase from time, but guess what WE CAN'T. Get over it and move on
I think that if the man in question was so freakishly small and finished in less than 2 minutes, and actually said "cool" when he was done, that it shouldn't count.. I'm just saying. And I have never been asked my number and have never thought to ask a man that question. I'm still not certain what that information would provide, I would have no problem answering since I am still in the single digits, but it would make me wonder about the person asking.
Here's my thing, do numbers really matter? Actually they are a very big determining factor once you know. I'm telling you right now, if a guy is talking to a girl and she says, i've slept with 246 men. He's going to be like, "I'm not compeltely sure of this, but I think you're a ho." Numbers don't matter if she's like at, 8, 15, 28, maybe even 45. But once she gets to 51, that dude is a little suspect. Same for guys, if he's like at, 65, 85, 100, 200, she's going to be like… ok slayer, is this really the type of guy I want to mess with?
To be honest… I think we shouldn't ask how many people you've slept with. We should come up with a number and ask for the over/under: Hey babygirl, have you slept with more than 50 people? No? Chuuuch!
The more I thought about numbers actually mattering, I thought about a woman I used to work with a few years ago ( in her early 20's) who along with her best friend kept a notebook of all the men they slept with. It was over a 100. Even as a woman looking at her, I was shocked and thought damn **** and **** are some ho's, and I really never wanted to go out with her socially after that. So I guess I can certainly see how it would appear to a man. Thanks for giving me some food for thought.
I'm 33 and have never ever ever been asked my number. I would be SHOCKED how that could possibly be relevant in any way. Then I would tell them "somewhere between 10 and 110. haha!
Tried the formula and got a smaller number than my original BUT it shall be said that the number I got is the number that I give when asked the infamous question. So i guess all is good in the end.
Lol I got a smaller number. I can really get with this formula. Ha!
Plus, we don't tell our friends if it's someone they've already broke off or wanted to break off. AND numbers change depending on WHO we're talkin to. For booski it's 3, random homegirl it's 6 (because she HAS to be the bigger slore of the two of us), and bestie gets the honest truth.
You forgot one.
If they didn't do it three or more times, it doesn't count.
No matter what number she gives or you calculate, it's still too many for you.
I simply say dont ask things that you dont really want to know the answer to. technically it doesnt matter right? Ask me if my p is clean. LOL
I, myself have never had a problem telling ppl my number, especially bc it's low. Problem is when I do tell a person (I've only been asked twice by the opposite sex), they never believe me. I'm still fairly young, but I'm very much into excersizing self-discipline which I think is one of the reasons why people ask. People want to know, as Dr. J said, if you're a ho-bag or not. Though I hate to judge, but if anyone, male or female, has had over 100 partners, I'm sorry, but personally I can't eff w u. And J, I agree w u whole-heartedly, chuuuuuuuch through and through! (Mad late on commenting, tryna keep up w y'all… Great post!)
OMG!! That is one of the funnieys posts I have EVER READ cos that shit is sooooo TRUE…. if I was drunk or didnt enjoy it or dont want to have to remeber it or you…it did NOT count!
LMAO!!! Im mad u shared that with all the dumb guys that belive me when i say 4! lol