Nurse!: Being sick and in a relationship

I am sick.  Real sick.

I’m not talking about my love of open toed sandals, the fact that little kids hurting  themselves sometimes make me giggle, the things I ask my love ones to perform to satisfy me (don’t think to hard about it), or my obsession with “King of the Hill”.  No … I’m talking about the sniffling, sneezing, runny nose, coughing, “my whole body hurts and I wish I had some sick days left” type of sick.  And … it sucks.

Luckily I am one of those blessed to have a significant other in my life (for those who didn’t know yet … yes … the Single Black Male is not actually single) and I do have someone who will help make sure that I don’t succumb to the swine flu this cold.  But at the same time, I don’t want to infect this heaven sent individual with the same thing afflicting me.  And suppose she is to come down sick … what do I do then?

Because I know you lovely readers grace this site for two reasons (for advice and to tell me I’m wrong about … well … everything), I’ve decided to outline some basic rules when in a relationship and sickness and hurt come into the equation.

Brrrr … I think I just got the chills.  Lemme hit this OJ.

What was I talking about? The room’s spinning …

So, there are rules to being the sick, being the caregiver, and just in general.  Follow this and you will keep your boo boo happy and smiling.  I present:

SBM’s List of Being Sick and Bunned Up

No Kissing

When your coming down with something or you feel that little tinge in your throat, its time to make that hard decision and ban the SO from your kisses.  I know she/he might take it hard, they might moan, cry, and refuse you head question your love, but if you love em … do it.  And if you hear them sneeze more than twice in an hour, or complain about their throat, nose, or head … go ahead and hit them with some cheek next time they come in for some suga.

Remember … your not a baby

If there is one thing that your friend has complained to you about, you’ve seen on a sitcom at some point, or you have experienced (I feel for ya patna) is the person who asks for too much.  I understand your body hurts, I understand your coughing a lot, I understand you need food and fluids … but I’m not staying home from work, I’m not hiring a nurse for the house, and your gonna have to get up out of bed to use the bathroom.  WTF do you mean you want a bedpan?

Be Nice

With that being said, if your the caregiver … be nice.  Realize the person feels like crap and they would do the same for you as long as she’s not a selfish b*.  Don’t get overly difficult and non-attentive.  If you really care about this person … make them feel good.  If you don’t … well … toss some dayquil and vitamin C under the door and wait for the good beats to resume chuck the dueces.

Know your mate

If your gonna be with them … know them.  It’ll make sick life easier.  If you don’t know what I mean … then you really got a lot of work ahead of you.

I’m going back to drinking tea and orange juice.

Append, argue, and comment and sh*t.

- SBM aka “Can you cut the bread diagonally?” aka I got the chills

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About SBM

Sean Blackman has written 398 posts on SBM.

Founder & Creator of SingleBlackMale.org. My healthy obsession with dating, relationships, and trying to identify and address the problems of dating in Black America. I also happen to be a mean sumb*tch who likes to hear himself talk ... but I'm funny though.

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Comments

  1. Lili says:

    But…I thought that if you aren't married, you're single? lol

    Speaking of the devil…King of the Hill is on Adult Swim right now…

    Anywhoo…Being sick sucks. Follow your rules and don't get your lady sick!

  2. Jaci says:

    Awww…. Feel better SBM!

    Let's see here… I had a little battle with germs a few weeks ago (I won after 2 days and no medicine) during which time *ahem* someone visited me… Of course no kissing rule was in full effect and I have to say it wasn't that hard. Even with the other stuff going on….

    I say… check how she treats you while you're sick and then you know… Christmas is right around the corner ;-) (And vice versa… remember gents … if she asks you for two cans of small soup don't bring one big one …Just tryna help yall out)

  3. QueenT says:

    I have noticed SBM that in general men tend to be more needy when they ARE sick. It seems that a common colds turns into H1N1 or knocking on deaths door. I'm just going from my experience, but I think in general men require alot more "nursing" , if you will…..then women. I don't mind taking care of my SO but I mean, really, I already have two kids five and seven, I don't want nor need another one……

  4. redlady821 says:

    Remember…YOU'RE not a baby! — SBM what have i told you about your and you're!?

    Anyway, I agree with QueenT, men are the biggest babies of all when it comes to being sick. They can go from money earning, running things, taking charge and being in control to straight INFANTS when they are not feeling well. Can we say "on my nerves?"

  5. Ms. Smart says:

    Based on the few occasions where I could pull myself to open my laptop (or check via iPod), I noticed that about 65% of the internet is sick. Da fug?!

    This list is good. But what happens when both people are sick?? I'll tell you what. As a woman, we still have friends who will bring us drugs. As a man, if you're unlucky enough to not be sick in the same house as us, you're short. Your friends won't bring you shyt. The only person who will is the chick (or chicks, depending on your popularity) who you dissed and don't particularly like. Ha!

    I'll admit to having been quite a b*tch when I was sick. So I think we need to add the rule about not annoying the sick person. If the sick person has no voice, stop asking her questions

  6. Tunde says:

    i hardly ever get sick and when i do get a small cold it usually clears up in a day or two. my immune system is fantastic. thank God for that one. i think the only time i've ever been really sick in my adult life was when i got bronchitis (coaching little league bball and kids are walking incubators for germs). my s/o took care of me but she made sure to follow most of the rules you listed. lol

    • CPT Callamity says:

      Exactly…my immune system fascinates me. Even after being exposed to all these filthy people in my office I manage to stay healthy…must be my diet.

      This issue is sensitive to me. I practice nothing but holistic and homeopathic remedies and it has worked and saved me many a doctors visit. I was seeing someone a few years ago and she brushed off any help that I was trying to give her and in essence went to the doctors. She remained sick for an additional week…the cough syrup helped her none either. At one point I decided to never give help or advice to these sick broads because they won't listen. Hell, my sister is the same way…so I watch them run to CVS, clutching tissues and clutching prescriptions like meth addicts.

      I guess if I get married or find an SO I will practice my RX skills but for now they are on their own. They need to learn how to understand the body and what it needs instead of wishing for a miracle in a pill or syrup.

      • Tunde says:

        see whenever i feel myself coming down with something i just drink a little (or a lot) of vodka on the rocks. i wake up feeling spectacular.

  7. qb says:

    While in general I find it true that men are the biggest babies when they are sick truly I am the biggest baby in the world when I'm sick. And I get sick a lot unfortunately.

    With that said… If you're in a relationship w/ someone who gets sick a lot don't get mad at them when they are sick and u have to help take care of them. If you can't handle it then maybe you should keep it moving.

    And for people like me that get sick all the time don't forget you get sick all the time. If your man missed that playoff game this week to take care of your sick a$$ then next week when he wants to watch the Bears game – even if your still sick/sick again don't be a b!tch about it and understand that only your mother will dedicate 100% of her time caring for your sick a$$ no one else should ever be asked or expected to take care of you 24/7.

    And lastly – if you get sick after not taking care of yourself (going out in the cold with no coat/wet hair, partying all night every weekend or any other things that could make you get sick faster) then you lose the right to cry/whine about being sick.

  8. jerzeegirl says:

    When the man is acting like a big a$$ baby cause he got a sniffle… I kindly remind him that I gave birth and that trumps his runny a$$ nose. That being said I will make some soup, change the sheets and give some tlc. There are limits though, please do not whine, would hate for you to O.D. on nyquil!!

  9. TrueMan says:

    Men don't get sick! Man up!

  10. MWF says:

    I'm a MWF and I love your blog.

  11. A Nurse says:

    Hello, I'm a nurse student and this post is very helpul to me. Thank you!

  12. NaijaSweetz says:

    Aw, cute. I remember one of the first posts I read being about the wack ass heifer girl who couldn't be bothered to so much as take you soup.

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