Comments on: Why men lead women on … and vice versa

By: Yetti

Yetti — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 15:35:38 +0000

Katherine,

I just dumped a guy who behaved this way for a year and a half. Pretended that he wanted me and all the while he was pursuing some piece of tail who did not want him and used him for money. I feel that this kind of guy is the lowest of scum and feels like he is some kind of pimp. I found that his goal is to keep you confused and on an emotional roller coster so you can hang around as a back-up until he can get what he wants. I say don't waste your time girl, and tell that piece of trash to kick rocks, you deserve better.

By: denise

denise — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 22:44:17 +0000

so sorry. I've experience something similar. bottom line… you will never "know" what someone is really thinking (ie. youwill never know what he really thinks of you). crazy happens… pick up the pieces of yourself and try to get it together. onward soldier.

By: katherine

katherine — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 12:35:51 +0000

what would you say about a man who initiates a relationship, is the one who defines it as mutually exclusive, acts fairly possessive, is the one who is talking future…and is the one who all the while, is secretly dating other women…seeking out other relationships the entire time…when she figures out that something weird is up, he completely avoids the conversation…..then cuts off contact…and we are talking about a relationship of the long term kind…me, being "she" has felt "strung along…" but there was no situation of him being pressured into being committed, as I said, he always made the first move and pushed the relationship along to a higher level…

is this some strange kind of pathology or more common than I would like to imagine..if a guy has ever done this, I would love to hear, what was going on in your head…trying to understand…

By: yungnsassi

yungnsassi — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:51:09 +0000

i think i string men on because i like the chase that comes along wit it..

By: Tunde

Tunde — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:26:37 +0000

exactly. most men have been in that situation. it sucks because the chick is actually pretty cool (most of the times) but she likes you way more than you like her. you just want beats and to be cool with her. its wrong but it happens.

By: Princess0889

Princess0889 — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:34:06 +0000

I can't speak for most women but I know for sure that I usually string people along because I am bored. I could be bored from anything varying from tried of going out with my girls, watching movies at home alone gets boring, or my most famous it's cold outside and cold + lonely don't mix well.

Just me

By: Streetztalk

Streetztalk — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:16:07 +0000

These are all points I've heard before. The best one out of these is the future beats insurance. All men have been there. you dont want to rock the boat so u say what u gotta to keep the pum pum happy. lmao

smh its a cold world

By: truthinrumors

truthinrumors — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:10:25 +0000

Now, what about when you say what/how its gonna be VERBATIM and they still let themselves get strung??? I really think its not anything to feel too guilty about because its your choice to pursue someone. You sign up for whatever I'm giving. Until you're through, which I totally understand.

As a habitual stringer I'll say that while my reasons may vary, sometimes out of boredom, sometimes because I actually have interest in the person am just not all the way on board yet, one thing that helps sometimes when you are stringing someone along is the management of expectations.

Anyone who I'm seeing right now knows to expect as little as possible from me because of work and trying to get into business school, etc. So they know half of the deal… what they don't know is that even if I had nothing to do, I still wouldn't necessarily want them..

I think a certain amount of stringing is necessary in dating. Everyone does it, how else would we get what we want? I'm dating someone who started out as kind of a string thing, but he gave me space, hung in there, and what do you know? I actually like him and care about his well being -not just whats good for me.

By: TrueMan

TrueMan — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:55:51 +0000

Men have been "chasin' the can" forever, and a lot of times, we lead them on to make sure we don't spend that Friday night alone and always have a solid jumpoff to call. Not saying it's right…just how it is.

By: SO F L Y Y

SO F L Y Y — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:08:47 +0000

It’s so hard to say “leave me alone” is definitely me all around. I don't even have to like dude at first & then change my mind. Sometimes I know right off the bat that 'this' ain't gon work out. But I just can't get my mouth to say… no. Ugh. My phone number is probably on a bathroom wall somewhere… I swear thats how easy it is to get. I can not bring myself to reject some poor unsuspecting dude. ESPECIALLY when the I got a SO line doesn't work. *sigh*