Comments on: The Claim Game http://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/11/18/the-claim-game/ The Source For Black Male Perspective Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:58:42 +0000 hourly 1 By: Streetztalkhttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/11/18/the-claim-game/#comment-44904 Streetztalk Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:27:56 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=2787#comment-44904 Wassup everyone We keepin the party goin on the fridays post page! please go there and post your comments so we can interact correctly :) Thanks, Streetz Van Dam Wassup everyone

We keepin the party goin on the fridays post page! please go there and post your comments so we can interact correctly :)

Thanks,

Streetz Van Dam

]]> By: nostringinghttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/11/18/the-claim-game/#comment-44829 nostringing Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:11:19 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=2787#comment-44829 So I ask today, when is it right/wrong to claim a person? Are there circumstances where you never have to inquire about dealings? When is it grimy to put claim on an individual? What about your friends? What about us girrllllll? There are creeds to follow: 1-Your sibling's ex is A NO GO 2-Your friend's ex is also a NO GO 3-Your Parent's ex is also also a NO GO (I have seen this...very awkward situation when Mum's hot young ex becomes your love interest smh) You alwayyyyyyyys inquire about dealings...its just the right thing to do. Extend that courtesy to your sibling, friend...or parent. It is wrong to put claim on someone who you gave/took number and no communication occurred (in girl land this one is a bit tricky). So I ask today, when is it right/wrong to claim a person? Are there circumstances where you never have to inquire about dealings? When is it grimy to put claim on an individual? What about your friends? What about us girrllllll?

There are creeds to follow:

1-Your sibling's ex is A NO GO

2-Your friend's ex is also a NO GO

3-Your Parent's ex is also also a NO GO (I have seen this…very awkward situation when Mum's hot young ex becomes your love interest smh)

You alwayyyyyyyys inquire about dealings…its just the right thing to do. Extend that courtesy to your sibling, friend…or parent.

It is wrong to put claim on someone who you gave/took number and no communication occurred (in girl land this one is a bit tricky).

]]> By: nostringinghttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/11/18/the-claim-game/#comment-44828 nostringing Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:04:06 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=2787#comment-44828 Wow! I had a friend like that...we aren't too close anymore. I hope your sis grows out of this pretty soon so you and her can have a better relationship. Wow! I had a friend like that…we aren't too close anymore. I hope your sis grows out of this pretty soon so you and her can have a better relationship.

]]> By: Lilihttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/11/18/the-claim-game/#comment-44825 Lili Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:26:18 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=2787#comment-44825 My boy's girlfriend's sister (LOL) is just like that! I was amazed; he said her sister made a pass at him when his girlfriend left the room one day...asked him if her backside looked "phat" in her jeans or something like that. He said he just laughed it off and stayed on the other side of the room until his lady reemerged. Sad thing is, his GF knows her sister is a trip- she warned him that she goes after all her boyfriends. I just don't get it. I would slap the hell out of my child if I knew she was the kind of woman that liked to chase after taken men- especially her sister's man! My boy's girlfriend's sister (LOL) is just like that! I was amazed; he said her sister made a pass at him when his girlfriend left the room one day…asked him if her backside looked "phat" in her jeans or something like that. He said he just laughed it off and stayed on the other side of the room until his lady reemerged. Sad thing is, his GF knows her sister is a trip- she warned him that she goes after all her boyfriends.

I just don't get it. I would slap the hell out of my child if I knew she was the kind of woman that liked to chase after taken men- especially her sister's man!

]]> By: CHeeKZhttp://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/11/18/the-claim-game/#comment-44815 CHeeKZ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:08:30 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=2787#comment-44815 If you sister looks like you.. please give her my number. No seriously.. She obviously picked up some poor Envy/Competitive trait when it comes to men. Some people really judge themselves on their ability to attract a "hard to get" man. And obviously that is how she views your people. Its nice of you to still have a decent relationship with her. I know a couple of girls that always want to put hands on OPP, alot of them have Daddy issues. If you sister looks like you.. please give her my number.

No seriously.. She obviously picked up some poor Envy/Competitive trait when it comes to men. Some people really judge themselves on their ability to attract a "hard to get" man. And obviously that is how she views your people. Its nice of you to still have a decent relationship with her.

I know a couple of girls that always want to put hands on OPP, alot of them have Daddy issues.

]]> By: SaneN85http://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/11/18/the-claim-game/#comment-44814 SaneN85 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:39:45 +0000 http://www.singleblackmale.org/?p=2787#comment-44814 Mmmh. I've never really been in this situation with a friend. However, my sister is notorious for trying to pick up things with people I've had interest in/have been interested in me/I've talked to/etc. Only one of these times did she actually approach me about it, and I most definitely didn't lay claim and respected her for asking me how I felt about it. Of course, she was asking after she already let him smash, but semantics, I guess. I've never had any real issue with it being a specific guy, as usually it's someone I never could bring myself to feel anything for or have had a physical relationship with. Usually it's someone I went out with once or twice, or really never got beyond the talking on the phone stage, but since I used to tell her everything she always knew there was a small history there. Usually, knowing that somebody had interest in me will multiply her interest in them. However, I think there is a bigger underlying issue if it is a recurring situation with one specific friend (or in my case, sister). After noticing this pattern of hers, I also started noticing her eyes on guys that I was currently dating, and even going so far as out and out flirting and asking for his phone number right in front of me. I've found very questionable texts to two exes I had long-term relationships with, some of those texts while I was still involved with them. I love her, but now there are pretty big trust issues between us. I would say to not make it a habit of persuing people have been involved with your friends/family members, because then it's clear you have bigger issues to work out and it would definitely start causing bigger problems with the friend. However, I would not hate on anyone if it were a situation where I either was rejected or just never got far in trying to get somewhere. There's probably a reason why things never went anywhere, and who am I to deny two people possible happiness? Plus, if y'all end up happily married, I sure will take the credit and make sure you never forget it. I better be godmom to all those little ruffians. Mmmh. I've never really been in this situation with a friend. However, my sister is notorious for trying to pick up things with people I've had interest in/have been interested in me/I've talked to/etc. Only one of these times did she actually approach me about it, and I most definitely didn't lay claim and respected her for asking me how I felt about it. Of course, she was asking after she already let him smash, but semantics, I guess. I've never had any real issue with it being a specific guy, as usually it's someone I never could bring myself to feel anything for or have had a physical relationship with. Usually it's someone I went out with once or twice, or really never got beyond the talking on the phone stage, but since I used to tell her everything she always knew there was a small history there. Usually, knowing that somebody had interest in me will multiply her interest in them.

However, I think there is a bigger underlying issue if it is a recurring situation with one specific friend (or in my case, sister). After noticing this pattern of hers, I also started noticing her eyes on guys that I was currently dating, and even going so far as out and out flirting and asking for his phone number right in front of me. I've found very questionable texts to two exes I had long-term relationships with, some of those texts while I was still involved with them.

I love her, but now there are pretty big trust issues between us. I would say to not make it a habit of persuing people have been involved with your friends/family members, because then it's clear you have bigger issues to work out and it would definitely start causing bigger problems with the friend.

However, I would not hate on anyone if it were a situation where I either was rejected or just never got far in trying to get somewhere. There's probably a reason why things never went anywhere, and who am I to deny two people possible happiness? Plus, if y'all end up happily married, I sure will take the credit and make sure you never forget it. I better be godmom to all those little ruffians.

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