Comments on: Is your friend obsessing over a guy?

By: s0_flyy

s0_flyy — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:41:12 +0000

You made me feel bad about this one… my GF is obssessing over a guy. It happens to be her SO who treats her like sh*. But she matches each one of these one-to-one. Ugh. He is using her so bad. The situation is so bad he doesn't even recognize her as his GF outside of her circle of friends. I tried to help her out a little but when she didn't take the bait & move on I just kinda accepted it and kept it trucking, but this post makes me feel like I should be doing more.

help,

clueless in cleveland

By: Ms. Smart

Ms. Smart — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:52:32 +0000

Ha. Naw women don't sit around and do that. They think, "How can I get HER man so he can do those things for me?"

By: Lili

Lili — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:41:12 +0000

…Yea this is unhealthy, but I think it's something everyone goes through. I was done with this stage at about 19, but I certainly had a guy or two that I was infatuated with who I later realized did not have the same feelings for me. Live and learn. Make silly mistakes while you're young.

And: "a guy who is interested in a girl, will be interested in getting to know her friends on at least some level" <—- CHUUUUUCH.
My bf said the same thing like a month ago…When he met my girl's (now) ex-BF, he thought ol boy was acting funny…and when they broke up, he said he knew something was off with him because he didn't really try to make conversation; he kept to himself or stayed on the phone (which I thought was odd since he was a pretty outgoing guy). He said if you're invested in something you make an attempt to be polite and get to know your SO's friends, or at least try to act interested the few times you go out.

By: Tunde

Tunde — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:20:25 +0000

i've seen this happen to a couple of my women friends. it sucks because they have distorted reality and everyone can see it for what it is except for her.

i've actually been in this situation before. i was cool with a female and i thought we were friends (and that was it) until i met her friends. when we got around her friends she became extremely touchy and wanted to hold hands and whatnot. it actually made me very uncomfortable. after that i kind of kept my distance from her.

By: Smiley Face

Smiley Face — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:16:04 +0000

"Pride goeth before a fall.."

Question though: Why is it "breaking down someone's ego?"

By: Dr.J

Dr.J — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:59:08 +0000

It's hard to tell a man his chick is not really his chick, and that he's putting the punani on a pedestal. It threatens everything men stand for. I try to be that friend, but I will only go but so far. It's not my job to break down someone's ego. Men thinking a chick is really feeling him, when in reality she ain't.

By: ana poo poo

ana poo poo — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:56:53 +0000

"Women have NO idea how much they give away for the sake of having what looks like a relationship."

I have a friend in this situation right now. I know she doesnt really care for or like this dude but she puts up with him because she is one of those people that has to be in a relationship. it doesnt help that he has a nice car and she borrows money from him often. (what she has told me). what also cracks me up is that she has her FB status as "in a relationship" but he has told her countless times he doesnt want to be in a relationship right now…

By: Smiley Face

Smiley Face — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:46:59 +0000

She is just as self serving and a user as he is though. How many times have you heard about women sitting around with their girls talking bout "Girl, we went here, here and here, and he got me this, this, and this…he a sucka" and not say anything to her about it? Are women encouraging their friends not to be self-serving users? Or are we sitting around going "dang girl you're lucky, you've got a good one" knowing full and hell well, he is her thing-thing on the side?

You are at blame (at least) if you keep giving this man everything he wants from you and you not standing up and saying no and not expecting to be treated as well as you treat him, you are equally delusional if you think this man is your "boyfriend."

Women have NO idea how much they give away for the sake of having what looks like a relationship.

By: A-O

A-O — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:38:34 +0000

Ahmen to Ms Smart & Smiley Face

By: Smiley Face

Smiley Face — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:35:29 +0000

No, I don't mean just having sex is girlfriend behavior I mean if you are sexing him up in addition to cooking him meals (cliche) , spending the night, buying him gifts, being thoughtful, expecting him to go out with you…relationship type things. Why shouldn't he say yes to all of the things you're giving him? Just b/c he accepts does not mean he is your boyfriend (significant other, special friend, whatever you're going to call him) or that he is going to reciprocate. He signed up for a thing-thing on the side, you signed up for a relationship…that's not a fuzzy line, that's you not paying attention.