**Since yesterday’s discussion turned into something…interesting, I figured I’d provide a post for the ladies written by my homegirl Ms. Jenkins. Enjoy. -Slim**
Slim and Sir Steele hit us with a list of some things women don’t understand about men. As promised, I have come up with a list of some things men just don’t get about women. Pull up a chair and enjoy.
Just look at him...
1. We know you love us and think we are beautiful, but we need to hear it anyway.
We understand that you are not emotionally expressive because you don’t want to look like a parfait emo teddy bear. And we know that we “shouldn’t” need reinforcement or encouragement if we have our ish together. We aren’t saying that we need to be told every 5 minutes that you miss us, love us or are thinking about us. But you need to remember to say those things anyway. When a woman has a man in her life, she shouldn’t have to “just know” how he feels about her without some regular expressions of affection or thoughtfulness. It lets us know you don’t take us or the relationship for granted. Plus it feels nice. Women need to feel nice and attended to. Mess around and she’ll find someone else to give her the attention she wants.
2. “That’s it. Right there.” means exactly that.
Slim and RCLS brought up this point and it immediately resonated with me. When she says “Don’t move,” or “Just like that,” dammit she means it. I have missed too many Os because dude wanted to get creative and start thinking independently at the wrong moment. All it takes is 1 second for the O to run away. Maybe she’ll return soon, but one can never be too sure. Please fellas, follow her directions. Now is not the time to wonder if she meant what she said. Along the same lines…
3. Not all of us like to be held right after the big O.
Men seem to have this idea that all women like to be held right after the big One. Not true. Some of us need a couple minutes before we get back in the game. If you did it right, she’s probably going through a lot after yall found the O. She is trying to catch her breath, regain the feeling in her knees, and wants make sure what she experienced was real. So don’t feel pressured to hug her or caress her right away. Whilst you wait, maybe you should offer her a sandwich. We like those too.
4. Yes we do love shopping that much.
It doesn’t really matter what we are shopping for. If we are in Target, Ann Taylor or BCBG, we will be taking our time. Yes, I know I bought Scotts last time, but what if Charmin Ultra has something new to offer? So what she tried on 4 dresses and 2 suits. She needs to try on this last one just in case it looks better than the others. And so what if she gets pissed and doesn’t buy anything? She needed to know that she exhausted all of her options.
5. PMS is real.
It’s not something that we make up in our heads. The fluctuation in hormones does so many things to us, most of which we can only work to minimize. Getting more irritable, crying at the drop of a hat, or getting pissed about something seemingly small aren’t excuses for us to act out of character. Not all the time at least. Sometimes, we are just as surprised by the mood swings as you are. And those cravings for chocolate, ice cream, and other sweet snack-time-goodness are not excuses to break the diet. Its like something comes over us that we can’t control. I wish I could explain it better.
6. Sometimes, we actually do want to learn about the game.
Or how to play the video game. If we ask you to teach us how to play or explain the rules, and you are mean about it, you will likely be making your life less enjoyable. Just humor us. We are trying to be interested in what you like.
7. We too have bodily functions.
I know its gross to think about, but we do. We burp, pass gas, and even make number twos. Get over it.
8. We don’t like to be told to “Relax,” “Calm down,” “Chill out,” or that “Its not that serious.”
Any of the aforementioned words or phrases will likely upset us. And so will “defending” the person we think did us wrong. Whatever got us riled up in the first place clearly mattered to us, hence the raised voice, neck rollin’, animated hand gestures, and the tight facial expression. You telling us to chill or relax will warrant a response similar to this: “Don’t tell me how I should or should not feel. Stop minimizing my emotions.” Of course, there will be times when we will need a verbal shaking or a stern talking-to, but most of the time we just need to feel like we got our point across. Even if you aren’t really paying attention, look the part. She’ll think you’re all attentive and whatnot.
Okay, I’m done. I left the last two spots for yall to add to the list. Have fun with it.
My list-game is proppa,
u aint neva lie girl………… yes fellas if we say thats it right there….means thats it right there……….
I concur..PMS is real! I don't know how to explain it. As someone that's never been a fan of sweets, when I run to the store for some M&M's…it's a sign that b*tch mode will be in full action…GRRRR!
This list is on point!!! I'll add one more thing.
9) The small things count: guys get so worked up on buying expensive extravagant material items. Especially when they get in trouble, which for me makes it worst, you can't buy your way out the dog house. Anyway, something like a back rub, cooking, or writing a love letter would mean so much more. I'm a romantic, and it seems like know one writes love letters anymore, thats a keepsake in my eyes.
Yes! The little things (not the little thing…) matter to us. It shows that you pay attention to detail and are thoughtful. You can't go wrong with that.
PREACH!
i need to forward this, txt this, print this and staple to the walls! lolz
1. We know you love us and think we are beautiful, but we need to hear it anyway.
We know. We’ll do better.
2. “That’s it. Right there.” means exactly that.
Duly noted. Just try not to dig your nails into my back, chest or shoulders during the big O. I’m sick of going to the gym and people looking askance because it looks like I got into a three-way battle with Wolverine and Freddy Krueger.
3. Not all of us like to be held right after the big O.
We aren’t big on that either. It’s hot and we want to go to sleep.
4. Yes we do love shopping that much.
Just because you enjoy spending 45 minutes ruminating over whether to get the cantaloupe-, the sunset-, the rust-, the pumpkin-, or the autumn-colored blouse doesn’t mean we should just sit there and enjoy it. It’s all orange! Just pick something and let’s go! Stop wasting my life!
5. PMS is real.
It is, but not all, or even most, women have it. Even if you do, it’s not a blanket excuse to get away with b!tching. Eat a Hershey’s bar and calm your a$$ down.
6. Sometimes, we actually do want to learn about the game.
Cool. Just don’t ask us a bunch of questions during the fourth quarter of game seven of the playoffs series. When we’re into the game isn’t the time to ask us to explain the rules.
7. We too have bodily functions.
We know. Good heavens, we know. Make sure you buy some deodorizing spray for the bathroom while you are contemplating on whether to get the Scotts and Charmin Ultra.
8. We don’t like to be told to “Relax,” “Calm down,” “Chill out,” or that “Its not that serious.”
Who cares if you don’t like it? If we told you to relax, it probably means you need to relax! You don’t seem to have a problem telling us how to feel, or if we’re being over-emotional, or acting crazy, etc.
LOL. Love the play-by-play responses.
Thanks, someone has to represent for the fellas. I figured I'd be the bad guy!
Thanks for that Hugh…
i have long given up on trying to understand women. i just pay attn to what works, not why it works. it has made my life much easier.
i have deaded many arguments by 'taking a dive' as Dr. JayJack would say. as long as the issue isn't something that i feel extremely strong about, i'll entertain her idea/craving/venting/etc…everyone wins.
@CarverTheGreat
You are the brother from another mother/founder. The day I stopped asking "why" is the day my mind became clearer and my heart stopped spasming randomly.
As far as your other method, my Pops told me a long time ago that "no matter what, you'll always be wrong." Even if I'm right, I'm wrong. Better to pick your battles and let the rest rock.
It's nice to see someone else representing Seattle on the Interwebz.
Unless, of course, that's really is your gov'mnt name.
2. “That’s it. Right there.” means exactly that.
Cool. Should have spoke up 10 minutes ago and we could both be sleepin by now.
The moral of the story. We would much rather you speak up than have us tryin to figure out what you like.
5. PMS is real.
We know. But why yall always want us to sit there and suffer through it with you? Do what sick people do and go lay down and watch TV or something. I'll wait on you hand and foot but please…I don't need the full PMS experience where you turn into Bill O'Riely and start yellin and ranting about every little thing that pops into your head.
7. We too have bodily functions.
We know. You fart in your sleep like everyone else. Well just, as much as possible, try to take care of buisness prior to action taking place. Please don't do the "Hold up I'll be right back."
(See Martin Lawrence "You So Crazy" for further instructions.)
#4 and #5 do not apply to me. I love new things, especially gadgets and clothes. However, I loathe shopping. I know what I am looking for before I go to a store, I go straight to that aisle/department/rack and get in and out as fast as humanly possible. I get so frustrated wasting time trying things on that I will just buy my size and if it doesn't fit, I will just return that ish. I also have (thankfully) never fallen victim to PMS.
I guess my #9 would be that we like our space as much as you do. While some women can be needy and want to be attached at the hip, I find that most do not. I am one of those women who prefers to not overdose on a person. I am a firm believer that being together 24/7 is a death sentence for any relationship (romantic or otherwise). I do not need to spend every moment that I'm not working with you, and I don't need to be texting/emailing/IM'ing all day while I'm at work. If we're together ALL the time, what will we have to talk about postcoital?
Bless you for never suffering from PMS. You are a lucky woman. I have learned to distance myself from people or keep some chocolate close by to keep my flare-ups contained. Lol.
5. PMS is real.
i have an app on my iphone that keep track of a her cycle, she thought it was cute, i thought it was smart, either way, i conveniently have a lot of hours to put in at work every 28 days…
You are a wise man!!
Lol very smart, others should follow this method
Somebody que the Bud Light Salutes Real Men of Genius Music…
Here is to you… Period Iphone App inventor.
#8…HELLS Yeah! I cannot stand out when those words come out a man's (be it a BF, side piece, or just plain friend) mouth. Don't tell me to calm down…i am calm…and yes it is THAT serious. Fellas it just makes matters worse when you say that…I am really think about it when you say that do we actually calm down?
#8…HELLS Yeah! I cannot stand it when those words come out a man’s (be it a BF, side piece, or just plain friend) mouth. Don’t tell me to calm down…i am calm…and yes it is THAT serious. Fellas it just makes matters worse when you say that…and really think about it when you say that do we actually calm down?
LOL very nice list… now if we could just get all the fellas to read and committ the list to memory we would all get along just fine! (I'd hope)