Comments on: The Curse of The Good Black Man

By: Sandy

Sandy — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 04:33:30 +0000

This is not a 'good black man' issue, this is not even a 'black' issue. This has been going on for centuries with all men.

I feel it's time for us to let go of all the antiquated rules that have no revelence to our lives today. Plus, if a man were to look down on me for doing the EXACT same thing he just did, I would be glad that he eliminated himself from my life, thus saving me from a lot of wasted time.

By: Miss Jenkins

Miss Jenkins — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:51:16 +0000

exactly! Her game was wack. There are plenty of other things she could have said that got to the same result. But its possible that she didn't really mean it, and just didn't want to have sex with him. Could have been her way of trying to spare that part of his ego… #justsayin…

By: angelasherell

angelasherell — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 20:31:10 +0000

For women: Its all about having to face them afterwards. If he is a GBM and there was/is potential, then there may be some shame, if it is too soon and he rejects you later. If it is someone that you do not want, you do not care. It becomes your choice.

It is ironic that the one you like the most initially gets the least.

By: Nay

Nay — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 18:28:32 +0000

…And there is it.

By: L Hook

L Hook — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:03:06 +0000

I think the wildly overused term "good black man" should include one more line item in the definition; "One who forgoes short term pleasure in order to seek lifelong fulfillment, aka a wife". Just my 2 a day and half late…

By: S0 FLYY

S0 FLYY — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:47:03 +0000

I love the second point… lol. "If GBM were a little less JUDGEMENTAL about when they get some….y’all would get some, lol." Co-sign right there. If I think I know you are a GBM and maybe I want some and you want some… and we could continue on w/o your judging me… then hey everyone would be happy. But we all know it ain't going down like that.

I can't say that I haven't been judgemental myself… if he asked for some when I thought it was way too early… be may have gotten put in the slores zone. It is really all about the personalities involved though.

By: LittleMissSunshine

LittleMissSunshine — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 02:28:40 +0000

If you have ever slept with a "good black man" too early and then tried to un-do the FwB relationship that you've built up- you will understand how difficult that method is versus just holding out a bit more. Despite having a million guy friends repeatedly tell me that you can't turn a FBuddy to a Girlfriend, it wasn't until I started sleeping with someone I really liked and have had to spend the past few months trying to get us to start from square one that I realize in the future- all good black men get the "not tonight" treatment.

By: Anike Love

Anike Love — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 02:10:49 +0000

Yess, it's like you're in my head because this is EXACTLY how I feel. I was just involved in a relationship where I didn't see it going anywhere from jump, and next thing I know, Wham-Bam-thank you Man! If giving it up early compels a man to get bored and not stay around, then it doesn't feel like a lost when this guy decides that he's on to the next one. I should probably stop playing around though cuz Karma is an ITCH!

By: mindy kane

mindy kane — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 22:34:03 +0000

God bless @a big butt and smile for she speaks the gospel. I read your blog and I hardly ever comment but the misogyny and reasoning for double standards amaze me. If you just wanna boink around that's what prostitutes are for. Don't deal with a "good" woman and expect her to abide by the warped protocol you set for the fairer sex. Its so awful how women just can't be people. We have to think like clerics concerning everything we do.

By: SBM

SBM — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 22:05:46 +0000

You're right … she did. And she was right for not letting me get it that early.

Men aren't always smart … we got a lotta testosterone messing things up for us.

But in your example, who is asking to go visit mom's without a title???? Where dey do dat at???