The side chick revolution – 5 reasons why a mistress will never be the houswife

I’ve been watching the news the past few weeks, and it seems like there’s a mistress revolution occurring in 2010. We have entire Eldrick Woods scandal (I refuse to call him Tiger. His mama named him Eldrick, Imma name him Eldrick!). We have women posting billboards of their lovers all over NYC so that the cheating man gets put on blast. As I sit and read ridiculous article upon ridiculous article, I couldn’t help but be offended and angered by this surge of side pieces stepping to the forefront to claim their 15 minutes of fame. Just like all these rappers kicking freestyles over Exhibit C, these side pieces need to give it up and walk away promptly! To all the side pieces playing hypeman to a committed gentleman’s relationship, let me inform you that you will Never prosper! Here’s a few reasons why:

You Lack The “IT” Factor
You ever wonder why he’s content with keeping you on the side? You ever wonder why you’re good enough for him to get some quick beats, but not good enough to be the matriarch of his household? You lack “it”. Now, I don’t know what “it” is. Most men may define “it” differently. Some people have “it”, some don’t. His Wife/GF/Main One has “it”, while you attempt to #Swindle him into thinking you are “it”. If you think you can just come into town and play Sergio Rodriguez to his girlfriends Chris Duhon, you got another thing coming (no pause).

You Think He’ll Drop The Wife/GF for Them
Somewhere within the side chick psyche exists a fantasy world in which their love interest falls in love and leaves their current situation to be with them. Too bad 9 times out of 10 this will never be the case. For one, you are an extra curricular activity compared to the real life task that is their main piece. These side chicks don’t understand that men will tell them whatever they want to hear in order to keep them happy, and sometimes these word pale in comparison to the truth. You know he lives with his boo. You know he’s married. Yet you still think he’ll leave his situation when he has the best of both worlds? C’mon SON!

Can’t trust you
After all this whistle blowing by all these secondary Heauxs, you think any man stepping out on his lady will trust you? The honor amongst thieves seems to have been lost upon you deceitful vixens in 2010, so every man is going to cross t’s dot i’s and so forth. You have gone from fantasy to liability and that doesn’t translate to the head of the pack, you may even have one foot out the door.

You aren’t the only one
What, you thought you were special? You may not even be the first option! We live in a society based off of multitasking. Consider yourself managed adequately, especially if he makes you feel uber special and doesn’t miss a beat!

You Have a False Sense Of Entitlement
These chicks want book deals, interviews, money, and the world for their pain and suffering. I knew things were out of order when I heard that a couple of Eldrick’s side pieces DEMANDED a public apology. Demanded?! Are you serious? You founding members of Jumpoff Incorporated can get an apology when you hold a press conference and apologize to Eldrick’s WIFE AND CHILDREN!! Stop it, PLEASE! You side chicks need to stay in your lane and stop swervin, because you’re going to cause major accidents. The main definition of side chick is secondary. Supplemental. Second/Third/Fourth tier. You are the extra biscuit a man get at Popeye’s just because he’s greedy and on his fat boy flow. You are NEITHER the 3-piece, nor the side dish (because it comes with the meal). You are not entitled to anything but a hard dyck and bubble gum. If you were looking for a come up and fell short, don’t be mad, find a better simp to expose! Gravity needs to take some type of shape and reel these women back to reality and stop the madness!

I officially declare war on all disgruntled side chicks, trying to expose men because of their false and unrealistic expectations for their relationship. #Youmad? That’s NO excuse!

Ladies, have you ever been a side chick? Did you get jealous of the Main Woman? SBM Community, please discuss and let me know if I’m way off base or if this epidemic has merit!

Talk to me,

Twitter: @streetztalk Website: www.streetztalk.net


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  • MsJ

    I know I'm gonna get blasted but, oh well. I have been the side chick and am currently a side chick. I agree with everything you said. I know my position. I don't want anymore from him than he wants from, so it works.

    Any girl playing the side position should know that the only reason you look so good to him is because with you, there's no responsibility. No money issues, no kids, no bills. He really only wants to be with you because you're not her. If you do happen to become the main chick, the same problems he had with his wife, he'll have with you and he will find himself another side chick.

    • QueenT

      Exactly!

    • Ms. Loten

      I concur…

      1. "If you do happen to become the main chick, the same problems he had with his wife, he’ll have with you and he will find himself another side chick"

      ^^^

      The same way you win 'em, is the same way you lose 'em

      2. "Any girl playing the side position should know that the only reason you look so good to him is because with you, there’s no responsibility"

      ^^^~~>Some females are confortable being on the side..and if she is "getting hers" and feels comfortable with the situation, then thats her choice. On Monday my coworker told me that there are certain areas in our state that are "cut-off". I asked her "What do you mean by cut-off"? She told me that she can't be caught in the neighborhoods of the GF/Main's of the guys that she is "dating". My coworker is comfortable in her position, so it works.

      • QueenT

        I wasn't going to share this but. Sometimes the man does leave the wife for the side chick. My ex-husband left me for his side chick(and we had two young children) and he is now married to her. I will add, his marriage is hanging on by a very thin thread. I don't see it lasting. The problems we had in our marriage are just transferred over,,and since I am sharing and I am speaking from first hand experience, I would like all jump offs to know the pain and heartache that they are silently participating in….I would not wish that pain on my worst enemy. But, I did find out I was better off without him. How you get that man is how you will lose him. Or you will alwayse be wondering what he is doing. Trust me.

        • QueenT

          Oh, and one more thing. Since I'm telling it all! LOL. My ex's side chick called me on the phone and told me about her existence (I had no idea) but not only did she do that she put us all on threeway…and told him to confirm what she was saying. It was a hot mess. I am lucky I am not in prison..thats another thing, jump offs need to recognize that some of these wives could get violent. If it werent for the Lord, I know I could have cut a bish many times……but, I was a praying woman…..

        • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

          Queen T, now he's her headache now. I don't know why the side chick doesn't realize they are getting the fantasy man. The woman at home is the one who is dealing with the "whole man"–the good, the bad and the ugly.

          Yes, you're better off without him. Karma is something.

        • Ms.Lotus

          Queen T, the fact that he made the "option" his "main" proved that he didn't have his priorities straight, and I'm glad you realized that. Kudos to you…But on another note, some females are crazy, and violence is just not the answer.

        • http://www.singleblackmale.org SBM

          Man QueenT … I give you a lot of props for handling that situation so well.

          I hate to say it … but it would been a double homicide if I was the third person on that phone.

        • Anna N.

          Daaang, Queen T! From one former side piece, let me extend a sincere, "My bad, homie". You weren't dealing with a mistress. You were dealing with She-Devil.

        • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

          I heard only 5% of those marriages last. I know a few people who married after being the side piece. They are ALL divorced, getting the paperwork done, or plain miserable.

        • MsJ

          QueenT, I definitely sympathize with you. You are better off without him because he wouldn't have been with the side chick if there wasn't a problem in the main relationship. I'm not at all blaming you. The problem is with him. If he was having issues, he should've been man enough to come to you and talk about it. He wasn't, so now she has to deal with all his drama.

          In my situation, I guess you wouldn't even call me the side chick. As someone said, the side chick goes out on dates and it's treated as a whole side relationship. We don't have that. Nor do I want it. We only see each other every couple of weeks. He is a maintenance man and that's it. Shoot, I give him advice on how to relate with his wife (i know that sounds crazy, lol). If he ever feels like he wants to really try to work things out with his wife, we'll stop seeing each other. No problems from me. And he knows that is he leaves his wife, he should not come looking to be with me.

          I have also had guys as side pieces. All wives/husbands who have been cheated on should know, most of the time, it's not about you. You could be the perfect person and still get cheated on. If the person is a cheater, they will cheat. It all has to do with their mindset. At that time, I was a cheater. My next relationship, I probably won't. I've outgrown it. Finally.

        • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

          Ms J, you're right, most of the time, the problem is with the person who is doing the cheater. They have issues that they are not willing to face–whether it be internal or external. Unfortunately, women who get cheated on like to blame themselves and that madness needs to stop.

    • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

      MsJ,

      What is the fascination of being the side chick?

      Is it because you don't want the hassle of a real commitment?

      • MsJ

        It's really not a fascination. It's just how it worked out. I'm in a new part of the country where I only know a few people. He happens to be one of my family member's best friend. He was always around and then one day, we happened to be alone and it was all downhill from there, lol. (not that i'm taking it lightly). He does have issues with his wife. Has had them for years before I came along. He just doesn't wanna leave her. For me, it's easier because I've dated some of the guys out here and I don't trust them enough to know where I live, let alone have sex with them. I trust him because I know where he's been. I know he's not some psycho stalker that's gonna try to "make" me like him (true story). If I find someone that I want to be with, I'll stop sleeping with him. If he wants to work on things with his wife, he'll stop sleeping with me. It's really more of a business arrangement with sex as the commodity, I guess.

        • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

          Ms J, okay. To you, he's a convenient booty call and he gets you as a therapist as a bonus.

        • Nameless

          …and vice versa

        • Anna N.

          I'm not mad at this at all. For some reason (ok, we've been blowing this smoke up their behinds for years) men seem to think that women want relationships all the time. No, sir. Most women who have been single for a minute but are still smiling about it have a maintenance man, lol.

        • Nameless

          I know women that keep a maintenance man…that is single (especially one that is also not looking for commitment, those guys are everrrrywhere). Why someone else's man?

        • Anna N.

          @Nameless – I think a few reasons. The married maintenance man (MMM) has more solid boundaries than the single maintenance man (SMM). No need for confusion after you get that good-good. He usually won't turn into a stalker or play mind games like some smm's would. And he's also grateful that he has a side piece and will come up off some cash and prizes without hogging all your time. LOL, please don't think I support marital deception. I just know what made it easy for me when I did it and I know what made it desirable for some other women as well. You couldn't pay me to homewreck or rat out the guy I was seeing back in the day – there was no way I wanted that man at my doorstep looking for something "real". Unless, of course, it was real green…and sticky. And smelled something like skunk, lol.

      • Nice

        Side people (men or women) are emotinally starved willing to take anything and everything offered even if it has no nutritional value (completing the metaphor). Women need to STOP accepting this lame position and only accept real relationships with real people with something to offer in their lives.

        • Peyso

          And you know this because of what scientific study? and what data, other than your limited emperical data, do you have to support this claim?

          Just because you see a few white swans doesnt mean that every single swan in the world is white

        • http://under-the-cherry-moon.blogspot.com/ Ms. Cherry

          I disagree, I slid off w/ a dude I knew was in a relationship for one reason and one reason only… the beats were awesome (yeah I said it).

          Emotions really had nothing to do with it. #kanyeshrug

        • MsJ

          Thank you, Ms. Cherry. Those are my thoughts exactly. There's no emotional attachment. I'm not emotionally starved and I'm not settling for my current "arrangement" instead of a real relationship. When I want a "real" relationship and find someone I want to be in a relationship with, I'll get in one. Until then, I'm good.

        • CAngel24

          in an idealistic, theoretical world that would be true but not every1 has morals and not every1 wants a long-term monogamous relationship. I don't condone the behaviors of the cheater NOR the "side piece". (cheater) if you supposedly loved your spouse enough to marry him/her and exchanged those vows to love, honor & cherish… then why would it be such an alien concept to enlighten him/her about issues that you feel are arising in your relationship INSTEAD of looking for "greener grass" w/no strings attached? (side piece) all I would ask is that you put yourself in the shoes of the spouse of the person w/whom you're cheating. would you be ok knowing that your wife/husband was spending $$$ and time & having sex w/another person because things "aren't quite right" between you 2? True, marriage IS a different ballgame but it also calls for a higher level of commitment, not a lapse therein and it DEFINITELY isn't an automatic pass for you to cheat "because you've been together for so long, (s)he'll understand" or "you have needs that aren't being met by your wife/husband"

  • QueenT

    I do happen to agree with you. However, you seem to be totally dismissing the actions of these deplorabe men. Yes, the jump-offs should not do this, that and the third that you mentioned…..but, seriously what do you expect from reckless behavior? Recklessness will ensue on all fronts by all parties. All is fair when dudes jump out there like that with random women. Expect anything to jump off. These dudes are dumb as hell. They're leaving, txts, voicemails, taking pictures. You do stupid isht and stupid isht will happen as a result. The jump offs are smarter and more clever. I don't condone jump off behavior but you have to admit, they are capitalizing off of a bad situation. They are making lemondade out of lemons. Remember most of these women are lacking in morals so you can really expect them to do almost anything with no real regard for anyone or repercussions…..

    Good post though.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      I once had a young lady tell me that she would mess with a committed dude with no hesitiation. When I asked why, she replied "If he doesn't respect his relationship and I'm dealing with him for one goal, what's that gotta do with me?!"

      Now I ask you, is that a lack of morals or a cold hard truth that people don't want to face.

      Here's an analogy (because I love them): We have a job. We work that job. We may want to get a new job. If you're smart, you'll look for a new job while still keeping the old job. Are your morals in question because you work at one place and actively search for better employment while you're gainfully employed?

      • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

        If you're not satisfied while at that job or think that job is about to end–I can see you looking for a new job.

        But when you're on a good job with hell of benefits and perks, why are you looking for another job that's hard to match?

        I like your analogy though.

      • http://threewaystotakeit.com Seattle Washington

        I don't know about that analogy Sir Streetz. Since I'm currenly shopping for another gig while working at a main gig, I take offense!

        Seriously though, I don't owe my current job a damn thing. Especially in this day and age. I'm more of a mercenary than an employee. However, I owe the woman I'm with some respect. No?

      • Hugh Jazz

        “Now I ask you, is that a lack of morals or a cold hard truth that people don’t want to face.”

        It’s a lack of morals.

        “Here’s an analogy (because I love them): We have a job. We work that job. We may want to get a new job. If you’re smart, you’ll look for a new job while still keeping the old job. Are your morals in question because you work at one place and actively search for better employment while you’re gainfully employed?”

        No morals are in question. You make vows to be faithful to your spouse, you do not make vows to be faithful to a company. At most companies, you sign an at-will contract stating you can leave when you want, and can be released by the company at will.

        • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

          Trust me S-Dub its a devils advocate POV.

          @Hugh you do make a commitement to a company though, although i do agree with the at-will portion.

        • Hugh Jazz

          "Hugh you do make a commitement to a company though, although i do agree with the at-will portion."

          You don't make a commitment to never leave the company. I guess it's more an ethical issue, my issue was I don't think it's morally wrong.

      • http://www.singleblackmale.org SBM

        Come on Streetz … we need a better analogy.

        You didn't commit to your job until both you and the company literally die! Hell, you don't even have to promise a minimum amount of time at any job. At that alone is a huge difference.

      • QueenT

        Nah, Streetz. A marriage contract and a employment contract is totally different….its not a business deal. There were kids involved. Many lies were told (on his part)……I was being deceived…….but, you can play devils advocate all you want on this one but until you live thru it you have no idea…….

        • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

          A marriage contract and a employment contract is totally different….its not a business deal.

          ^^ this statement is only true in appearance and not in fact. Ask divorce lawyers and accountants

        • QueenT

          Whatever, Streetz.

        • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

          Why #youmad QueenT?! If you dont think Marriage is as much about business as it is spiritual and emotional, you're being naive.

        • QueenT

          I never said that. I know its a contract. I know this. Im just thinking its not always as black and white as all that. If only it were. There are so many other variables that come into play though……

  • http://yinkuslolo.blogspot.com yinkuslolo

    I have never been the sidechick and I wonder whether those sidekicks use the men as sidekicks too.

    • Peyso

      You sure you never been the sidekick? jk jk

      BUt women do have sidekicks, it happens more then you think. In the South I believe they are called "Splackavellies"

      • on2another1

        Im Deep down South,(Mississippi) never heard that before.

        • Peyso
        • LuckieStarZ

          LOL Splackavellie is so '98. We used to call them that down here in Miami, now he's either a shone/work/sidepiece

        • http://beautifulprosperity.wordpress.com/ TruBeautyPrsprs

          I'm in Miami, and we call them Snacks…

  • Ms. Loten

    As far as I know, I have never been the side piece. If you knew what it was before getting involved, then you can't complain. If you didn't, well now you know. People fuss because they know that their hopes and dreams are in the clouds. STOP THE MADNESS…

    …Men are sidepieces too…#Imjustsayin

  • Det

    A-fucking-MEN

  • Sunny

    This post was on point.

    And this right here: "You founding members of Jumpoff Incorporated can get an apology when you hold a press conference and apologize to Eldrick’s WIFE AND CHILDREN!! "

    is golden.

    I've never been a side piece. I think you have to have some kind of low self esteem to play a position like that.

    • http://leatherettefuckery.blogspot.com leatherette

      I've never "knowingly" been a sidepiece and I thoroughly disagree with the fact you think it requires low self esteem. Just bc sidepiecin' ain't for everybody, doesn't mean that the sidepiece is lacking bc of what they do.

      • Sunny

        When a side piece settles to be just that, she is down for playing a secondary role,. She's saying to herself that she doesn't deserve to have someone that will completely love ONLY HER.

        When you settle for being a side piece, you are okay with the fact that your man has SOMEONE ELSE.

        That's not saying high self esteem to me.

        • CHeeKZ

          "That’s not saying high self esteem to me."

          You even got to admit you are assuming.

          Not everyone looks at life with that POV.

          That is like saying the wives on Big LOVE has low self esteem. Naw they are just going through life the best way they can makes themselves happy.

          Heck some OD feminist / Spinsters (just learned that word last week) could say YOU are weak b/c you feel like you need a man period. If you are really self assured you should just go through life on your own…

          but those itches are just being judgemental…..

  • http://www.threewaystotakeit.com/ Slim Jackson

    That picture is awful for so many reasons. I think one day in my life I was that guy.lol. Never again. Good post sir. Seattle wrote a similar one on 3 Ways not too far back on if there is more chatting nowadays by sidepieces or just more cheating. I'll be back later for more shenanigans.

    http://www.threewaystotakeit.com/talkative-mistre

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      Dogs… I need to write a book. That picture… smh…. Nuff said. lmao

  • Girl Politik

    How about people just stop cheating on their SO/Spouses etc. That's the risk you take with cheating – your side chick may not stay on the side. If you don't like the consequences then stay in YOUR lane with your spouse. Problem easily sovled. Don't get mad because someone puts you on blast.

    • Sunny

      Agreed.

    • Smiley Face

      Now you know that's too much like right, lol. You bring it on yourself.

    • Anna N.

      tee-heee!!!!! Smiley took the country words right outta my fingertips cuz I was about to say the same thing. Too much like right, indeed.

    • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

      I agree. If you cheat and get put on blast–nobody's fault but your own.

    • Peyso

      I think that this post is off topic. The argument is when sidechick's rat a due out because they feel slighted. How can you feel slighted when u knowingly entered into this relationship? Its like buyer's remorse

      • Lip Gloss

        I know many wives who have been cheated on and they decide to cheat too. The difference is that the husband rarely if ever finds out. I think that a man's ego will not allow him to believe that HIS woman will cheat on him. Well, most won't, but many will.

        I think when women give this type of attention to men, then it contributes to arrogance. He has this unrealistic opinion of himself that he's the most desirable thing in the world. To be honest, if men knew just how well a woman can put on a show, then that cockiness would come down a whole lot.

        We tell you that you look good when you don't. We tell you that you're fine when you're not. We tell you that you're good in bed when you're not. We tell you that no other man can measure up to you when we have measured you against another man already and you have come up seriously short. We do this because we don't want to "hurt" your fragile ego. But when we get with our girlfriends, the real truth about you comes out. NOW, do we do this with the men that we really love? Hell no. So, please, get a grip. When you get with your guy friends and pretend that you have all these women clawing after you, it's all part of the same game. Women are just a helluva lot better at this game. We just don't want the rules of our game to be discovered.

        I know I'll be villified once this posts, but the truth hurts sometime. Men get played, and it's time for them to admit that they get played. Period!

        • Hugh Jazz

          Lip Gloss: "I know many wives who have been cheated on and they decide to cheat too."

          Really? Women cheat?

          "To be honest, if men knew just how well a woman can put on a show, then that cockiness would come down a whole lot."

          Really? Women lie?

          "We tell you that you look good when you don’t. We tell you that you’re fine when you’re not. We tell you that you’re good in bed when you’re not. We tell you that no other man can measure up to you when we have measured you against another man already and you have come up seriously short. We do this because we don’t want to “hurt” your fragile ego."

          And a man would neeeeeever lie to get with a woman! This reminds me of an old joke: Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.

          "I know I’ll be villified once this posts, but the truth hurts sometime. Men get played, and it’s time for them to admit that they get played. Period!"

          No, you won't be vilified, you're just expressing an opinion and most people here can respect that. But men have been getting played by females since junior high, so this isn't exactly esoteric knowledge. But the thing most women don't know is half the time when we are "getting played", we don't care! You used us for sex? We're really supposed to be upset over that?

        • Lip Gloss

          Never used a man for sex Hugh Jazz. If I didn't want the man, I didn't want anything that belonged to the man. Period…..

          I know that men who find me attractive are initially sexually attracted to me. However, a man's sexual attraction to me has never and will never be my problem. There are no words or gestures or material items that could make me want a man that I "just don't want."

          An intelligent person knows that sex is a form of intimacy that binds and sustains what happens outside of the bedroom.

          On a more reflective note: I wish people would truly fall in love with each other and forego selfish desires. There would be no need for "sidepieces" if that were to happen.

  • J

    I disagree with this post. It depends on the guy and where he is in his relationship. Some guys are always looking to trade up. They will leave their wife or girlfriend for a women if they think it is an upgrade. Or some men just get tired of the wife and decide to find a new girl. But they won't leave the marriage till they find the new girl. I've seen it too many times. Sometimes the side girl is getting treated better than the wife. A side girl can become the main girl. Every situation is different.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      Some side heauxs will never be the wife because once they become the wife, he'll have a new side heaux!

      Every situation is different but 9.9 times out of 10 this is accurate.

      Its like my kix. I'll have thsoe fresh copper foamposites and rock them with pride, until I pass by the store and see those Grey griffeys. Gotta have it!

    • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

      J, I disagree. Most of the time when the man cheats–he's downgrading. I've heard too many women complain about the sidechick–being uglier, fatter, poorer and the list goes on and on. Now when a woman cheats, we're usually upgrading.

      • MeteorMan

        yeah… Look at Kobe.

      • Nameless

        "…uglier,fatter…."

        Lacking the 'IT" that Streetz talked about. Maybe if he/she is truly regarded with respect, they would be made the main the right way.

    • FDS

      I completely agree with this I was a side chick in only one situation and He asked me if I'd marry him while he was still in his relationship with the other woman he treated me like a queen and he spent more time with me then he did with her. Not condoning my actions once i found out that this is what it was I stopped talking to him But what i'm saying is every situation is different this one just happened to be the type that was ready to leave but wouldn't until he found some security with another woman although I told him there was no way I could be with him I could never trust him its still proof that side chick sometimes do become the main chick and honestly I think The whole I'm number one and your number two is ignorant period I better be i the one and only and if u cant give me that I don't want u know way so to you main chicks i feel sorry for you because because honestly your the one being betrayed and hurt especially if you kids so i wouldn't take to much pride in being his number one if that's what role you play your worse off then the side chicks they tend to keep there emotions at a haul because they already know the situation unfortunately for you all you all tend to give them your whole hearts and get hurt

    • Storia

      Thank you J. I am royalty. We spend every weekend together. He's here several if not every night of the week. He shuts down his shop to go see about my daughter's car. We go to movies, dinner, parties in public every weekend. He gets out of his bed to get my daughter's keys from her locked car. Him and his son helped me move. He's not married but been in a relationship with an older woman for 13 years. They have a business together and I don't think they like each other any more and both of them are waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  • Anna N.

    I thought that the woman who did the billboards was mad because the man told her he got a divorce years ago. She wasn't scorned, she was scorched, lol. Can't disagree with the post, though. I've been the side chick in the past, and even then I gave a side-eye to the "We're so in love/He doesn't love her/She forced him to get married" crowd. Like, really? Girl, get your rocks off, enjoy a meal or some good times and let that bamma suggest a nice outfit for the real date you about to go on, lol.

    Where men mess up is in choosing these women. If you're gonna have a mistress, get one with something to lose. She won't be so quick to tell on you. She has her own rep to manage, kinda like that girl who was modeling and kept denying that she slept with Tiger. Can you really be mad that the Denny's waitress spoke up? Really? Tiger wanted booty. They wanted money and/or fame. Tiger got some booty, and they got their money and/or fame. It's like any major deal: you can pay on the front end, or you can pay on the back end. But either way, you'll pay.

    • Hugh Jazz

      "Where men mess up is in choosing these women. If you’re gonna have a mistress, get one with something to lose. She won’t be so quick to tell on you. She has her own rep to manage, kinda like that girl who was modeling and kept denying that she slept with Tiger. Can you really be mad that the Denny’s waitress spoke up? Really? Tiger wanted booty. They wanted money and/or fame. Tiger got some booty, and they got their money and/or fame. It’s like any major deal: you can pay on the front end, or you can pay on the back end. But either way, you’ll pay."

      Total co-signage. Like Kobe and the hotel worker. She had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

    • CHeeKZ

      o holy day o holy day!

      i SEE THE LIGHT.

      The savior is watching over me!

      ANNA N just raised the dead

      CHURCH!

  • Hugh Jazz

    LMHYAO at the article about Tiger’s h0es!

    "I think he should've mentioned something in regards to the girls — an apology or something."

    "They [the mistresses] want more from the greatest golfer in the world: a face-to-face 'I'm sorry.'"

    "It's hurtful. It's rude. He should have apologized to the people like myself, his mistresses, because we're dealing with a lot of stuff too."

    Stupid broads! How did your name get leaked to the media? Tiger didn’t snitch on himself, you told them looking for your five minutes of fame! You received it, you are famous for being a h0e. Seriously, what would the apology sound like? “I’m sorry that I cheated on my wife and slept with you.” What’s to apologize for?

    That was funny, but this was the most disturbing quote from the article:

    “It may be easy to dismiss these women as home wreckers who knew what they were getting into when they started sleeping with a married man, but that would just be transferring the blame away from the person who was breaking vows he made before church and state.”

    Wait a minute, men are making vows to the STATE now? And women wonder why men don’t want to get married.

  • http://twitter.com/S0_FLYY So FLYY

    When we talked about Eldrick's scandal I was wondering about the mentality of the sidechick's that kept coming forward. I don't think that J/O should be coming forward regardless of the situation BUT b/c this is 'Tiger Tiger Woods Ya'll' and maybe the first JO lost her mind & decided she wanted her rent check a little early… I will give a her a slight pass… but for JO's 2 through 42?! What were you thinking?! I mean once the public knows… they know. I don't understand what in the world happened in mind of JO 42 to think that anyone was gonna pay her any mind. Keep it quiet girl. If anything, Eldrick should have been able to count on the last 10 to keep the mouths shut & pay them heavily on the backend. I know I would've. Lol. Maybe it's just me… but Eldrick would have been thinking "I don't have to worry about So FLYY she's gonna take care of hers & maybe some others too… I'll drop a deposit in the account."

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      Excellent use of Eldrick! lmao

  • Jamaica

    I've never been a side ho & never will be one.

    So men are really expecting these whores to have good sense & play by some rules? If they were capable of that, they wouldn't accept the lower position in the first place. Since these men choose to disrespect their wives, risk losing their families plus financial consequences, & put the safety (health, physical) of their wives at risk for sex, then they have to deal with what comes along with having a side ho. Expecting a ho to keep a secret for your sake is expecting loyalty. Why should she when you can't fulfill your own obligation of loyalty?

    • Peyso

      We already had that discussion a long time ago when we found out Tiger was cheating. We get it, ppl shouldnt cheat. But when they do (some people inevitably will) the side pieces should shut up

      • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

        The side chick is only obligated to one person–herself. The man in the relationship should be obligated to his woman but he's stepped off–if he's not loyal why in the hell should he expect the chick he's cheating with to be loyal to him. That's when men don't think with the right head.

        • Ms.Lotus/Ms. Loten

          Men expect the sides to be loyal if they know the situation, because then there should be an understanding. If the female doesn't know, and thought that she was the main…thats a disaster..

    • CHeeKZ

      Side pieces should keep their mouths closed for THEIR OWN SELF INTEREST. Nothing good comes from snitching. We aren't asking for loyalty, we are asking for common sense.

      But for some of you dames, that is too much to ask for.

      #YEAHISAIDIT

  • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J (@DrJayJack)

    Streetz you are messing up a few fellas promotion with this one. I don't know whether to toast the side pieces who put in work, or roast the side pieces for the pressures they put on a man.

    Side pieces do be carving out their place though. They will get a man with doing things their girl won't do, and doing it how their girl won't do it.

    *raises glass* – To Lil Kim and them, you know the women friend, who, carry the work cross state for a gentlemen…. with your trfiling @ss.

    I said toast mofo.

  • J

    None of those brawds Woods was bonein qualifies as a side girl. A side girl, or side dude, is someone you treat like a second wife or husband. They get gifts, holidays, money. You go out in public with them and you might have kids with them. There is real emotional attachment. That's what a mistress is.

    Tiger was treatin those girls like ho's. Those brawds were concubines. Not mistresses.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      I have to 100% no-sign your statement. A side chick is a chick you deal with other than your main chick. The amount of money, gifts, etc that you provide does not determine whether or not they qualify as a side chick, its just determines the level of officialness or the degree of simp he/shes dealing with!

    • MeteorMan

      Tiger was treatin those girls like ho’s. Those brawds were concubines. Not mistresses.

      This made me chuckle. Its kinda true.

  • Hugh Jazz

    Jamaica: ” So men are really expecting these whores to have good sense & play by some rules?”

    It’s foolish to think so, but this was Streetz’s “honor among thieves” point. Adulterers and adulterees should keep quiet because they are both wrong.

    So FLYY: ” maybe the first JO lost her mind & decided she wanted her rent check a little early… I will give a her a slight pass… but for JO’s 2 through 42?!”

    I don’t understand that mentality either. Tiger already has been busted, so what’s one more woman? Elin isn’t going to be hurt anymore after finding out about girl 4 or girl 5.

    It’s called the law of diminishing returns; it eventually gets to the point that one more isn’t going to make a difference. If Tiger was going to lose his wife, she would have left after girl one or two, so girls three and after are just sullying their reputations. And why on earth would he pay them off now? His wife and everyone else knows now, so these girls aren't holding any trump cards anymore.

  • datchickstayfly

    I agree with most of what you said but can you blame these side chicks when the man chose to step out in the first place?? If whomever he is with meant soo much to him and had everything that the side piece did not then why cheat anyway?? Obviously that relationship wasn't strong enough in the 1st place and somewhere within that relationship he went off and got a side piece. I don't blame these girls cuz some men are just plain dogs and make the good men who are in committed relationships or just good men look bad b/c they can't keep their member in their pants…they're greedy and selfish b/c men with more then one side piece must want a little bit of this and that, in the long run someone is being hurt and that's the gf/wife and sometimes the side piece themselves (in the case where they didn't know they were one) Either way these men need to be put in their place b/c too many diseases, etc are out there and most of these men don't even wrap it up

    • Peyso

      I'll say again, we had that discussion already. We cant talk about men being dogs everytime. There are 2 parts of the problem and we gotta discuss both

    • Hugh Jazz

      datchickstayfly: “Either way these men need to be put in their place b/c too many diseases, etc are out there and most of these men don’t even wrap it up”

      Yes, those men do need to be put in their place but:

      1. Why is it the side piece’s job to put the man in his place? Who died and made her God?

      2. Who puts the side piece in her place for messing around with a married man?

  • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

    I've never been the side chick. My ex got caught slipping and I broke up with him and now he's with the side-chick. The side chick wishes I'll take him back and he wishes I'll take him back. When you're just dipping, you get a fantasy–not the real deal…now they both getting exactly what they deserve–each other.

    • DrK

      howd you find out about the side chick

      • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

        Dr K I found out because his actions told on himself.

        Men are creatures of habit. When you change your habit in mid-stream, it's like a red flag going up.

        His habits changed. For example, the fact that he started turning his ringer off on his cell phone when he was around me (we practically lived together so it became 100 percent of the time). I would find out his ringer was off because when his sisters couldn't get him on his phone, they would call me.

        Dude would be laying right next to me and his phone right next to him on the night stand….without a clue that anyone called. (but he knew the side chick probably would call, so he made sure the ringer was off because if it rang after 10 pm, he knew I would be questioning his azz).

        So like I said, his actions gave him away.

  • datchickstayfly

    And I'm so sick & tired of hearing about Tiger Woods & his jump-offs who really cares lol

  • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

    Wow… We testifying in here today huh?

    Another question: Who do you blame more? The Side Piece, The Adulterer, or the Main piece?

    • MsJ

      You blame the Adulterer. They're the one stepping outside their relationship.

    • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

      Streetztalk, the blame is on the one you're in the relationship with. If that person doesn't step out, then there would be no need for posts about side-chicks or side-d(((.

      People who are thinking about stepping out need to re-direct their energy into the relationship they are currently in, instead of dipping outside.

    • Ms.Lotus/Ms. Loten

      Blame the adulterer….If you left the relationship, and the other person is still loyal, then thats all on you. However, some may blame the "main" b/c if he/she was doing their job…then the problem wouldn't occur in the first place..<<~~~ Just giving another view..

      • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

        A person can cheat on someone and it not be the other person's fault at all. In some cases, it's the man/woman's ego or the fact that they want their cake and eat it too. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the other person. The problem is with the one doing the cheating. If they are not mature enough to deal with whatever issues they have—rather it be internal (self) or external (their spouse), then the problem is still with the one doing the cheating–not the spouse.

    • Hugh Jazz

      Another question: Who do you blame more? The Side Piece, The Adulterer, or the Main piece?

      The adulterer AND side piece.

      I find it funny that people keep trying to absolve the side piece of culpability. Yes, the adulterer broke his vows, but the side piece still commited the act. The side piece is a 100%, certified homewrecker. If she/he didn't sleep with the married man/woman, no harm, no foul. The side piece is not a neutral party here.

      • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

        I agree. The side piece who knows that the man/woman is in a relationship bears some of the guilt.

    • http://www.max-logic.com max

      I blame the main piece. If she was handling her business we wouldn't be going through this right now!

  • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

    First off, I have never been the side chick. However, I have had a boyfriend who had one and she called me. That wasn't a good move for him or her. She got out of line. But who could blame her. It was Christmas. I guess she had designs on being with him for the holiday season. How'd it end? I didn't tell him she called. I rode it out with a tight lip then broke up with him abruptly with no explanation. I rode it out through the holidays because I wasn't trying to give her the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of me. I rode it out with him because I wanted to be cucumber cool when I broke up with him. Years later, I told him the chick called me. You could have bought him for a dollar.

    You are on track with this but I blame the men for 1) stepping out 2) choosing the wrong chicks to do it with. If men are too cheap or broke to afford a proper call girl (not like the one who mouthed off–she was too young to understand her place), the least they could do is find a woman with something to lose too.

    This gives me an idea for a post for Thursday though! :-)

    • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

      Ms Smart…lol…that sounds like something I would have done. It was days before I let my ex know I knew he was creeping.

      Warning to men who cheat–never EVER change your routine because that's the 1st red flag to a woman that something isn't right.

    • Anna N.

      oooh, that's a good one. Did the side piece know she was a side piece? Holiday season tells you a lot about where you stand in a relationship…

      • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

        Exactly Anna. I don't even want to hear you didn't know he had a woman. If he don't spend any holidays with you. If he can't spend the night with you. If you can't talk to him after a certain time or his phone constantly goes to voice mail after he's off work. You know he's in a relationship.

      • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

        In my situation, she knew she was the side piece.

    • Name

      Yeah, it's not exactly wise to put trust and faith in someone, that essentially, has nothing to lose. Tiger was the one who had a reputation to uphold, Tiger was the one who was married with children, and it was Tiger who would have to worry about losing 1/2 of his wealth if Elin ever decided to leave him; men need to learn how to make wiser investments.

      But let this be a lesson to all: money only keeps people quiet for so long (especially when they realize there's more money to be made exposing the truth)

    • CHeeKZ

      Did u hook up with him post finding out?

  • Peyso

    I feel like this is a sort of entrapment. Imagine this: I'm a drug dealer. Before I sell you drugs, I ask if you're a cop. You say "No". I sell you drugs and then you arrest me. That is entrapment and thus I will be set free. I think the case is very similar to these sidechick situations. Man discusses situation w/ women and she agrees and now she wants to tell. That's entrapment too!!

    However, if you're unknowingly a sidechick, you have every single right under the sun to rat that dude out to his SO. That I think is fair

    • Name

      yeah, but selling drugs is illegal regardless of how you get caught.

      • Peyso

        The bottomline is that if I get caught via entrapment, its not my fault and I cant go to jail. So if I get caught cheating via entrapment, I cant get in trouble lol

        • Buckster

          Bad analogy. If you are arrested for selling drugs and the cops used entrapment, IT'S STILL YOUR FAULT that a crime was perpetrated. The charge won't stick because of the prcedural technicality of entrapment, but you are not blameless/innocent just b/c they let you go.

          Likewise, if you are dealing with someone who thinks the situation is monagamous, you are the BAD GUY if you cheat, regardless if the jumpoff/mistress/ho knew your situation or not. #2 has less of an argument if she did know you already had a woman, but in either case, you are in the wrong.

          I'm a man, and I admit that most of the knuckleheads getting all the booty they can juggle fail to discern the difference between legal innocence vs. being righteous.

        • Peyso

          Actually its a great analogy. I'm trying to point out exactly what you said. We all know cheating is wrong, but if u get caught via entrapment, you shouldnt get in trouble

  • Peyso

    I also think we need to stop creating these all encompassing scenarios and explanations. Is the sidechick wrong for telling? Sometimes. Is the man wrong for cheating? Sometimes. Is the cheatee to be blamed? Sometimes.

  • CHeeKZ

    O man the comments are crazy today. I'm mad I'm just getting here.

    Great Post Streetz, I see why you are mad.

    AND I CO-SIGN!

  • http://www.twitter.com/RealTalkSuki Sue

    Queen T, damn. I can't even comment on this properl. My head just spun. If I were Ms. Main, still dunno what I'd do… murder isn't an option anymore. Side chicks are pissin everyone off. I'm not a side chick or a main chick. I feel like I'm just… Here. #sukishrug almost don't want to be either because of that whole situation. Definitely have been the side chick and i got rid of the main chick (I had my ways) but ugh, like it's been said, the cycle repeats itself and soon there was another one of me. So I just left. Thank you Chris… You good for nothing bastard.

    Good post though. You sounded pretty angry though Streetz. Hmm thanks for #TellingEmWhyYouMad ^_^

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      LOL not madd at all ;-)

      • http://www.twitter.com/RealTalkSuki Sue

        Lol haha I'll take your word for it this time. But I feel like daggers and darts were thrown and blown #NoAfrica. But yeah, this side chick thing… is…GROWING. O_O

  • J

    I still say yall are confusing things. There is a difference between: A jumpoff (random whore), Concubine (a brawd that knows she is being used for sex but she is getting financial benefits from it), A mistress (A second wife.)

    Now your average dude under 30 can't afford a mistress. You don't have the money to pull it off.

    Like Jay-Z said:

    "I got a main chick, a mistress, and a young bitch. Forget it I'm the don!"

    Know your postition ladies.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      There is a difference between: A jumpoff (random whore), Concubine (a brawd that knows she is being used for sex but she is getting financial benefits from it), A mistress (A second wife.)

      ^^^

      All different classifications of Le Mademoiselle Side

      • Nameless

        Pretty much!

        PS-A second wife would be just that, a second wife.

      • J

        Still don't agree. A mistress is someone that ends up in your will. You leave her property. You might have kids with her that have your name. A jump off or concubine gets none of that.

        • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

          J,

          My ninja. You hearing us but you not listening. lol.

          All three are side women becaus ethey haven't been designated as #1

          #1 is a WIFE/GF

          anyone who isnt a wife/girlfriend is the side chick

          Mistress would be the anointed side chick/ possible gf/bf #2

          Concubine would be the pay for play / maintenance side chick

          Jumpoff would be the "i can beat on a rainy day" side chick

          all of those descriptions are women/men who arent considered the front person, so they play the bench/sideline like Memphis Bleek

        • J

          But this post started out saying that a side girl will never be the #1. And implied that the side girl is not respected.

          So you have to be more specific. A mistress may be getting treated better than the wife. A man won't leave his wife for a random jump off but he might leave for his mistress.

          I hear what you sayin. But I don't think all side chicks are created equal.

        • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

          J,

          We have fundamental differences, and that's OK. lol

          Maybe I use the word interchangably(sp) but

          "you know what i mean't nikka" *Tracy morgan Voice*

  • ShallowGal

    Some girls don't mind being the side chick (TSC). I know a few. For them, its convenient and easy. They get the fun times with no responsibility and get spoiled to keep their mouth shut. Even though it may sound ideal, I also believe that these women are shallow, conniving, somewhat insecure and rarely have close, genuine relationships with anyone.

    It might be cool in the short term, but never in the long term.

  • Nameless

    I thought the whole Tiger fiasco was entertaining. How can anyone be mad at the heaux (sorry I had to steal your word Streetz) for not staying in their "lane". He planted the seed of dishonesty and he reaped it (in multiple fold too…dumb-A).

    I have zero sympathy for the man/woman that becomes a side heaux (whether you do it for benefit or not), whatever hurt and pain/disease you get is all on you. No one is to blame but your shameless behind. Just like the adulterer will get paid back, so will your behind.

    To the one who has responsibilities, there's not too much to say…they always suffer in the end. If its not immediately, its down the line. Grow some balls (both men and women), deal with your situation before you start seeking solace in another's arms. I know we are human beings and we make mistakes but the minute you committed to someone else was the minute you decided to stop thinking about just yourself.

    Good post Streetz and good blog Mr SBM and co.

    PS-QueenT, I don't know you and the history of your husband's philandering but I give you much respect.

    • CHeeKZ

      Why does every girl claim that cheating automatically equals a STD?

      Like there is a sure-fire-connection between the two.

      The only way you contract and STD is if you or your partner cheat and if you do cheat, you will haev an STD.

      SMH @ your pastor's version of Sexual Health Class.

      • Nameless

        Lol @ Pastor's sex ed class. You know that's not what I meant…we all know how you catch STDs. There is a higher chance of catching something funky when you are spreading your stuff all over the place.

  • datchickstayfly

    At the end of the day, its a cycle with no end…until men/women learn how to be faithful to that one person there will forever be sidechicks, etc. Just like a dude is quick to run his mouth about who he slept with to his boys, side pieces will continue to run their mouths…honestly i think its sad on both parts but thats what you sign up for when you step outside of the marriage/relationship…its not a side pieces job to go running at the mouth and expose whomever but at the same time these men/women should know the risks before getting involved with someone else there are risks/consequences for every action soo don't get mad when a side piece decides not to stay in their lane, just learn from your mistakes before jumping to another side piece

  • J

    A mistress is a man's long-term female lover and companion who is not married to him, especially used when the man is married to another woman. The relationship generally is stable and at least semi-permanent; however, the couple does not live together openly. Also the relationship is usually, but not always, secret. And there is the implication that a mistress may be "kept"—i.e., that the man is paying for some of the woman's living expenses, or provides her with an allowance.

    ___________________________________________

    A concubine is generally a woman in an ongoing, matrimonial-like relationship with a man, whom she cannot marry for any reason. The reason may be because she is of lower social rank than the man or because the man is already married. Generally, only men of high economic and social status have concubines. Many historical rulers maintained concubines as well as wives.

    Historically, concubinage was frequently voluntary (by the woman and/or her family's arrangement), as it provided a measure of economic security for the woman involved.

  • MeteorMan

    Honestly, Tiger took the b*tch route. Why is he apologizing to the world? He didn't cheat on everyone…

    Like Hugh Jazz said before, you can't expect a side chick to be faithful to your cause. Yeah, it is a violation of an agreement to secretly smash, but what else would you expect from a chick whose very existence is the embodiment of unfaithfulness. I'm not surprised. Who ever said you could trust a side chick? #wheretheythatat

    And yeah, sometimes the guy does move on to make the side piece his main. Ask Swiss Beats…

    Who's fault is it? I don't know. It really depends. If the side piece didn't know she was a side piece, then its dude's fault. However, you have to think about how the relationship with the wife is going. Not saying that in all cases the wife is pushing a guy to cheat, just saying what in the world must be happening or not happening to push a guy want to do that if it wasn't his initial intent. NOT saying Tiger is innocent. Just thinking about other people in the general population.

    • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

      Imma be as real as I can be. There are some awesome side pieces out here who if kept happy will play the role and play it well. It's all about expectations. I know a few chicks who don't mind being a side chick. They don't want the responsibility of being the main chick.

      Tiger didn't take a b*tch route either, that apology was a part of his therapy. I'm mad more people didn't peep that.

      • Anna N.

        wait for it, wait fooor iiiiit……

        I agree. Totally. lol.

      • MeteorMan

        You're right, it was part of his therapy. But I don't think the average sex-aholic has to apologize on national TV. It just seemed desperate to me. It was really extra.

  • MS. MWT

    I'm gonna pray for all of you SIDE CHICKS b/c you're gonna GET what's coming to you. Karma is not cute and I may never know it comes to you, but you will GET what's coming to you.

    I'm speaking my peace, providing my opnion and its the freedom to have open conversation….I think SIDE CHICKS are disgusting, foul and a bunch of sorry a$$ people and a DISGRACE… yes a DISGRACE to the true essence of Love and relationships and marriages. I DON'T CARE if you don't want anything more from him.

    know your position? How you about you WALK AWAY and stop messing up another woman's life REGARDLESS if a man is engaging in it too.

    You should be the one encouraging a BROTHER that responsibility isn't a bad thing and that Money, Children and BILLS are all a part of the GROWN ADULT WORLD whether you are MARRIED or not.

    Get with the program and stop being a disgrace to the entire WOMEN's RACE!

    • J

      For most of the history of the world….thousands and thousands of years…there was no expectation that a man limit himself to one woman. Just about everyone God blessed in the old testament had multiple wives.

      I'm just sayin…

      • MS. MWT

        so b/c the old Testament says it – you are to do it? confused.

        • J

          Just sayin. I don't think everyone that has ever been in a relationship outside of traditional modern Western-culture marriage is a disgusting person.

        • Peyso

          If u define modern as post the 40's, 50's and in some places the 60's and 70's, I agree

        • MS. MWT

          We live in Western Culture – so I'm speaking to the culture we live in – in america and in the western world. There are countries that have laws that allow it. I don't agree w/it and still find it disgusting. But again – my opinion.

      • Anna N.

        Hmmm, I can't really be mad at Ms. MWT's diatribe. If you're gonna play in the kitchen you have to take the heat. Specially if you in someone else's kitchen, lol.

  • caraelizzy

    My question is when is a woman entitled to be angry about the situation?

    When she doesn't know a guy is wifed up?

    What if she "thinks" shes the main chick? There are a whole lot of side chicks getting main chick attention, main chick time and main chick ends.

    I agree that the chicks messing with Tiger who "went public" were only looking for attention. He obviously wasn't giving them the time of day.

    Everyone in this situation has played a role in what happened, not just the side chicks.

    Because he's a public figure there's no way in hell these hoes didn't know Tiger was married….but there's also no way in Hell Elin JUST found out his ass was cheating. Not with all those broads on his list…..furthermore- she's still with him. So what are we really talking about here?

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      We're really talking about side chicks and their 'rise to popularity"

      There are some side pieces that are getting #swindled I will admit. of course they should be angry.

      Im talkin about those delusional chicks who want to get mad and are fooling themselves

  • J

    but there’s also no way in Hell Elin JUST found out his ass was cheating. Not with all those broads on his list…..furthermore- she’s still with him. So what are we really talking about here?

    __________________________________

    Aw man. I could rant on this for days :-)

    Ladies, if you marry a rich and powerful man and think he is not gonna tap a little somethin on the side every now in then you are being really, really naive.

  • J

    Peyso says: February 24, 2010 at 1:28 pmIf u define modern as post the 40’s, 50’s and in some places the 60’s and 70’s, I agree

    ____________________________

    Correct! People don't realize that even up until about the 1970s it was not uncommon for a man to have a mistress and kids outside of his marriage. Shit, up until about the 1960s every city and hood had a brothel.

    • Anna N.

      Well if you're looking at it from that standpoint, I think technology is both the trick and the treat. "Back in the day" men had to get with the side family because birth control was still a lil' sketchy and abortion was even more so. At the same time, though…..

      "Back in the day" a man had no way to tell if his middle kid (the one who takes after great aunt Millie) really took after the milk man, lol.

      • J

        Anna N. says: February 24, 2010 at 1:50 pmWell if you’re looking at it from that standpoint, I think technology is both the trick and the treat. “Back in the day” men had to get with the side family because birth control was still a lil’ sketchy and abortion was even more so. At the same time, though…..

        “Back in the day” a man had no way to tell if his middle kid (the one who takes after great aunt Millie) really took after the milk man, lol.

        _________________________________

        Yeah it was different. Also their were not a lot of laws to protect women. So you didn't have to worry about your mistress blowing up your spot. She couldn't just run to the courts for child support. So she had to keep quiet or risk being cut off. Same for wives. There was know getting half a dudes money. So unless you were willing to leave a marriage empty handed with no job. You just stuck with your unfaithful man. My how times change.

    • CHeeKZ

      "about the 1960s every city and hood had a brothel."

      they still do.

  • Cally

    This post is COLOSSAL!

    My boy and I have been having this conversation on and off for the last few years. Things is that once a girl presents herself or gives the vibe that she's a "mistress" or "sidepiece" there's no turning back.

    It's hard, nay near impossible for me to think to myself. Wait … this jumpoff IS the woman I'm supposed to be with and she's been right in front of my eyes (on her knees) this whole time.

    "Can't turn a hoe into a housewife" a lyric that still rings true.

    • Maria

      Cant turn a ho into a husband either.

      The funny thing is that you think you are so wonderful and your side chick isnt. But you were just as much a piece of garbage tho.

      And not worthy or husband material.

  • MS. MWT

    BOTH MEN and WOMEN are at fault here in western civilization :0)!

  • M.s.J.

    Wow, just wow. I've played all the roles (main chick, side chick, etc.) I do me and it has nothing to do with my morals (I love God), self esteem (I'm pretty and turn heads), or any of the extra things ya'll talk about. Men do them all the time so why can't we (women) do us? I have a married man who wants to pay for me to visit him, complains about his wife, and is trying to help find me a job. He's stable and always there. But we have a fantasy of how life could be. Nothing is perfect. That's why I tell him to try working things out with the wife. I love him, I truly do, but I need to see effort on his part in every aspect of his life and he doesn't do that. So until then I'm doing me. When that one comes along I'm going to back up all my baggage and just be with him. I've been in a committed relationship where I didn't cheat, need to cheat, and I can do that again.

    • MS. MWT

      Didn't your parents teach you… 2 wrongs don't make it right? b/c men do, we should do it?

      #1 – I have a married man who wants to pay for me to visit him – YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB TO SPEND YOUR WELL EARNED MONEY TO TRAVEL? that's sad.

      #2 – complains about his wife – WHY SHOULD YOU CARE? MAYBE YOU SHOULD HELP HIM LIKE A REAL FRIEND WOULD HELP SOMEONE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD EVEN TELL THE MAN TO DIVORCE HIS WIFE and WHEN HE DOES, THEN YA'LL COULD MAKE IT HAPPEN.

      #3 – Is trying to help find me a job – HOW ABOUT YOU HELP YOURSELF FIND A JOB. That's just plain weak.

      For someone who says they LOVE GOD, are PRETTY AND TURN HEADS, MAIN CHICK SIDE CHICK… its clear the INTELLIGENCE and STRENGTH went out the window with this one.

      how about you find another SINGLE MAN like yourself and maybe you wouldn't have to sit around MEDDLING in other people's Affairs, whether they are GOOD/BAD/ UGLY… or even indifferent.

      • http://www.threewaystotakeit.com The Honorable Award

        Ladies and Gentlemen,

        Presenting to you, the only person in the world whose sh*t doesn't stink, MS. MWT! Give her a round of applause folks!

        • SaneN85

          CAAAROLIIIIINNNNE!!!

          Now I'm gonna have that song stuck in my head the rest of the day, thanks.

          Just realized that I have posted more today than I ever have. Mmmmh, I guess I have a lot to say on this topic.

    • LuckieStarZ

      I know there are other females who admitted that they are (knowingly) the side chick, but this comment right here is pitiful and ri-gahtdamn-diculous! Being pretty on the outside has little to do with your self esteem. The fact that a woman (knowingly) subjects herself to such a hideous situation, leads me to believe she is equally as hideous on the inside. Like a dog can smell fear, these dog ass men, that can't keep it in their pants, smell that low self esteem, and they attack. It doesn't say much about a woman who is happy to be accepting money from a married man. Oh, so you give him advice and, suggests that he works things out with his wife, that makes it ok?? Girl, bye! #PleaseHaveASeat These women who are "ok" with being the side chick have some serious introspection to do…

      • juniebug

        slutty sluts….

        • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

          I know you didn't call her a name.

    • Peyso

      I actually have no problem w/ ur comment. I think you're living YOUR life according to YOUR morals. If marriage doesnt mean that much to you and being a side chick isnt that bad it doesnt NECESSARILY mean that you have low self esteem. It doesnt NECESSARILY mean that you are the scum of the world. Propensity doesnt mean always and we need to see the difference in that before we start calling names

    • Buckster

      "I have self esteem (I’m pretty and turn heads)"

      M.s.J. you don't understand what the term actually means if you equate "self esteem" with "turning heads". Y'see, you still validate yourself based on reaction/approval of others (mean looking at you approvingly). You don't necessarily have self just because you are confident in your looks.

      And that pretty much explains how you can stand yourself when a man essentially pays for your company. Please don't ever judge prostitutes or star groupies harshly because they are like you but in different situations.

  • J

    Yesterday when we was talkin religion everybody claimed they wasn't judgemental.

    Now we switch the topic to mistresses and everybody wants to impose their interpretation of Judeao-Christian orthodoxy.

    "See how it flips around."

    -Nas

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      WOW…. Dare I say CHUUCH?!

      • Anna N.

        I'm bout to call Rebb'n Jessie – he know bout the power of redemption.

        • J

          Usin the church money to support your mistress……that's wrong even if you atheist. :-)

    • MS. MWT

      I wasn't talking on the thread yesterday :) . about Dating and religion.

      But I'm talking today about Side chicks.

    • CHeeKZ

      I WANT THE STOMP, THE WHOLE STOMP, AND NOTHING BUT THE STOMP!

      CAN I GET SOME HOLY GHOST UP IN HERE!

    • MeteorMan

      *virtual high five*

    • http://www.threewaystotakeit.com/ Slim Jackson

      Not gonna lie, it's interesting seeing what people comment when the topic is deep and what people comment when it's time to be judgmental. I don't knock folks either way. As long as they visit the site, it's all good. But yeah, I peeped that.

      • MS. MWT

        um some topics move me – some topics don't move me to have a comment. Judgemental or not. I've commented before on topics that warrant in my mind response – for you? doesn't matter to me.

    • R.A.G

      lmao. my thoughts exactly – I think I even made this remark in a discussion a while back. It's quite interesting to see how quickly people change up. being 2-faced is not the biz.

  • SaneN85

    I guess I'll speak up here. I've also played all the roles, and can say that none have been fun. After a year of being miserable in my marriage hoping for things to turn around, I ended up finding myself hooking up with an ex. The guilt tore me apart and I told my husband within the week. Then it came out that he had been cheating, doing drugs, etc. So, I definitely know how it feels to be the one cheated on.

    Trust, I'd always been the first to call out cheaters and sidepieces as trash. Until I somehow found myself in the situation. Somewhat recently I ended things (for the last time) with a MM that I had met a couple months after splitting with my husband. I could relate to everything he had been feeling in the last year, and things just snowballed from there. He told his wife about us a couple months after we met, and he came clean to his wife. Unfortunately, it wasn't the last time and she has been more or less aware the whole time.

    We knew it was wrong, selfish, deplorable, and every other word you can think of. But, our feelings and impulses kept getting the best of us. I don't have low self-esteem (in fact, my actions in this whole mess are the biggest issues I have with myself), I don't have issues, and I'm generally a good person. He's also generally a good person and neither of us that we'd end up in that situation.

    I'm betting there are a ton of people in this situation who never had a goal to one day be involved in an affair, and yes they (we) should just have self-control, but it's easier said than done.

    Oh yeah, on topic, I never would in a million years think of ending their marriage or putting him on blast. My sister ultimately told her about us, but that is a much longer story for another day.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      It's another day in Tokyo now. Whats the rest of the story?! lol

      Thanks for sharing!

      Konitchiwa, bitches!

    • CHeeKZ

      yo I remember all your post b/c you look so cute in that avatar.

      YOU HAVE A HATING ASS SISTER?!

      She is always throwing dirt on you. I'm sorry but you need to cut that heffa off. IT AINT HER BIZNESS! She wasn't friends with your Mr BIG's wife, WHY SHE TELLING?

      Damn I hate snitches!

      • SaneN85

        Thank you (about the pic) and THANK YOU (about the sis). She actually sought out the wife after attempting to start something with him and him turning her down. Now they are practically best friends and I can't even go to my niece's birthdays without seeing her.

        What can I say, she's my fam and I know that there are a lot of things that made her the way she is. I still love her, even if I can't stand her 87.99% of the time.

        • CHeeKZ

          YOUR SISTER IS LIKE Joquin Phionex in Gladiator or Micheal Rapport in Higher Learning.

          Just a bad person in life.

          She only ratted you out b/c she couldn't ride the Scared Totem Pole? Did she mention THAT to her new bff?

        • SaneN85

          Dang, you went with the two most despicable characters ever, huh? This had my dying at work though, and I got the side-eye from my boss. I honestly do feel this way about her sometimes though.

          She honestly (in her mind) didn't connect the the two events. Her advances being ignored and her befriending and telling his wife. To her, it was something I had done and it was on me regardless. She actually felt that I had put her in the position of having to lie to her friend (who she didn't even know until she felt like seeking her out). Either way, fact is, she's not 100% wrong. I did the dirt, so the reprecussions were mine to deal with. As for how it affected him, it didn't. His wife yelled and then moved on, it's not like she hadn't let him slide on it before, so I don't know what my sis was thinking.

          You can't pick your family. I just keep my relationship with my sister to the most basic of things, and will never let her in on my business. When I get serious with someone again, it'll be someone who I am secure enough with to bring around her. She's my niece's mom, and really she'll never be completely out of my life for that reason.

        • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

          Now that's some family drama for you. She has more loyalty to her than her own sister. You're a gem for putting up with it.

          I don't condone an affair but the situation as you describe it sounds bizarre. The wife knows about y'all but she's still with him. Sounds like the only reason why she holding on now is so that you can't have him all to yourself. I would be careful if I was you, because the wife and your sister might be plotting something.

  • MS. MWT

    I think those that want to be cheaters and mistresses need some self control. really? get it together.

    How about… this! at the inkling of wanting to step out? You have that conversation with the ONE you vowed to stay faithful to. How about you GIVE THAT person respect UPFRONT and RAW. Instead of your side piece for some moments of Passion and Pleasure. all for what. its 2010. don't you people know there are STD's that you can get with Condom's on? Like GROW UP.

    All I see is weakness in this thread to those who condone it and those that meddle in other people's affairs.

    As I said in my first statement. I will continue to pray for you and continue to pray for myself so I can work on my judgements. :)

    • SaneN85

      Deal. You pray for me, and I'll join you in praying for your judgements ;) . There are probably 10 people living or dead that hadn't had some morally questionable behavior and only those 10 and God's judgments will ever phase me. Besides, I've judged myself enough for the both of us.

    • http://confessionofasingleblackwoman.blogspot.com/ Confessions of a Sin

      I didn't see you as being judgmental…honestly, we all could be said to be judgmental if we have an opinion about something. I personally don't condone someone knowingly being a side-chick. To me it's wrong. Yes, you're not the one in the committed relationship–but it still doesn't make it right.

      You said what was on your heart and many feel the same way–they may not have worded it the same way.

  • NoName

    I do not think it is always true. My uncle is a perfect example. He is married to my aunt which by your definition makes her #1. But we all know that his "friend" Ms. Barbara (name changed) is his #1 boo.

    He definately only stays with my aunt because a divorce would look bad for his career and plus he is not trying to part with any of the assets he believes he brought to the marriage.

    Side piece Barbara is his number 1 boo.

    • SaneN85

      This reminds me of my boss's parents. They have been married for decades, but both openly have a boyfriend/girlfriend. He hasn't shared the reason why they are still married, but it's clear that there is one and it has nothing to do with respecting their marriage vows. Heck, mom's boyfriend has gone on family vacations with them.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      Then his marriage is an ultimate business relationship with the Wife playing the GM and Ms Barbara being the star player

      • NoName

        In this example, side chick has the most power. She can get pissed, tell my aunt, aunt files for divorce and he loses his side piece, wife, and $.

        Bottom line: My uncle, though I love him dearly, is a dumbass. I know how much he is worth I would not dare risk losing it by having a side chick. But his actions have given side chick all the power. He may even pay her to keep her silent. She is winning.

        Keep hope alive side pieces! You may luck up like Barbara ha!

    • J

      Thanks for giving a good example of how complex life can be.

  • http://www.whatdcpeoplehate.com true2me

    Thats bullshyt. My best friend started off being the side chick, been married to dude for 3 years now.

    Plus the sidechick may not be YOUR wife, but she may become someone else's.

    And thats all

    True

    • http://www.streetztalk.net streetztalk

      Then your friend is in the minority and if you dont think they'll have issues or son isnt trickin, then YOU on that BULLSHYT

  • Anna N.

    Now see, I'm all about a little equality in forgiveness of the sexes. How many famous men (and I mean from the latest pro baller scandal to Dr. Martin Lutha da Kang) have had affairs? Ummm, lots. The most respectable men to come out of the Black community (not rich or famous – respected) have had affairs. And you know what? Their personal failings have little to no impact on their legacy. Because people are more than their indescretions.

    I love how we as a people kind of assume that wife = chaste, respectable, boring. That if you don't live a chaste and respectable life you will be PUNISHED – with disease, spinsterhood, a cheating husband (if a man will ever have you) – whatever, God, Buddha and Karma are comin' after yo azz! Conveniently, King James has removed any reference to "grace", "redemption" and "forgiveness" in the Good Book this week to aid in further slut shaming. Whew!

    Sorry, I know too many happy wives who were at one time someone else's happy lil' slutbucket. I guess once a woman puts that veil on at the wedding we're supposed to forget about the entirety of her life to that point.

    • Turtlewoman

      lol. ennit

  • Hugh Jazz

    Just because someone is a self-admitted side piece doesn't mean they are unhappy, don't respect themselves, are immature, or are Satan's spawn. They are just struggling with something just like everyone else.

    That is all.

  • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. naturally

    I've never willingly been a sidepiece. If my ex was in a relationship at the time we hooked up at homecoming, I didn't know anything about it.

    I think part of the reason why sides are talking is b/c some of these cats my be feeding them BS, while the others are opportunists. With Tiger, you have pros and cocktail/Perkins waitress hos. The pros knew exactly what kind of situation it was and they are just trying to make a little extra change. But the waitresses may have actually believed some BS Tiger said to them in the throws of passion… he fed them a line, and the took the bait. And now, they feel slighted. These heffas have nothing to lose by talking… the pros make money, maybe get an offer for Playboy or something. And the legit hos might as well get some press time… maybe get a little something extra out of the situation. See, there isn't any real incentive to stay quiet. In fact, I 'm expecting someone to release a book… "Stiff Woods: The Torrid Tail of My Affair with Tiger."

  • SaneN85

    Now that I really think about it, my sister would never even had known about us if he hadn't been so careless. He never made much of an effort to hide what was going on between us. He worked with my niece's father (he and my sis were still together at the time), and would come around my sister's house (despite NEVER once hangin out with him before) being affectionate towards me, insuring my sister knew. I really think that he wanted to get caught (and have many more reasons to think this) even if only subconsciously and leave it up to his wife to leave him. So, if he hadn't tried to take the coward's way out, my sister would have never known.

    In the end, he was always at the root of us being caught. I (the sidepiece) had made every effort to keep it from getting back to his wife and keep that situation from touching the rest of my life (because frankly, I'm the one that's gonna be labeled and judged and he probably won't lose a damn thing). So, maybe the question should be whether men set themselves up in situations where they'll be found out on purpose. If so, what would be the reasons there?

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  • http://www.youngbrothas.com YB

    That false sense of entitlement is a problem many women have, side chick or not

  • Dee

    "Just like all these rappers kicking freestyles over Exhibit C, these side pieces need to give it up and walk away promptly!:

    Lol! Luv it!

    Fuck a cheater! And a sidepiece! If u know he's taken back the fuck off!

    • MS. MWT

      Um… You said it pretty well. BACK THE F OFF :0)!

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  • http://divamisadventures.blogspot.com Cece Nichole

    Okay I've been reading all of the comments and well I must say man this is spirited. So I figured I need to add in my .02:

    1) Ms.MWT: honey…what man cheated on you? Please let it go.

    2)I've been in all positions like many of the women on here. Yes it sucks to be cheated on (my own son's father left me for his side chick and married her…but as some of ya'll said the grass is greener…hehe). But as a reforming side piece who has no self esteem issues and honestly could probably be married tomorrow if I chose to, it's a convienient situation. I get what I want and I don't have to keep him.

    3)I'm sorry to have to keep it real, but real talk some women aren't on their job. I know plenty of women who subscribe to the "I've got him so my work is done" theory and when you live like that you are setting yourself up for failure.

    Is it wrong to cheat? Sure it is…but is that going cause it to not happen.

    But men, real talk if you are going to cheat, can ya'll please do much much better? FIRST: please make sure she's worth it. Second: make sure she knows the code. 2010 is the year of hoes getting out of pocket…beware.

    • http://singleblackmale.org Streetztalk

      This was a real comment! thanks!

  • MS. MWT

    UM… this was NEVER about me darling. So I don't need ANYONE on here's advice…:0)! This was purely about all the SHITTY people who FUCK UP other people's lives and continue to do so.

    So all the trifling dirty grimy mofo's that are side chics up on here? Keep living your shitty lives…Good Riddance.

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  • J

    what pisses sidechicks off so much is when the main chick is not as pretty, smart, funny, or intelligent, like what the hell is the man thinking, she has no it factor because she's average, i guess being average is what makes a girl the main chick, typically, cause most side chicks are way better looking and have something going for them, perhaps I've been a side chick because I'm intimidating to their male egos.

    btw sometimes the GF is the one fucking up peoples lives, I lost my best friend without ever even kissing the boy because she was crazy and he was my friend before he met her. btw she's fat and from brazil, I'm getting a masters degree abroad and have worked at major companies, plus I'm a hot size 0. She was the side chick to our friendship.

  • james

    Ladies…you are out and the guy insists on getting your number….you know if you give it to him he will go away….no problem Doucheline is here. Simply access your local free number, pass it to him… and it is on.

  • beautyhatesdabeast

    I think It is conceit to say you look better and you da side chick but you a bamma and you don't look good and your a punk and got a lot going on between yo fishy legs LOL

  • beautyhatesdabeast

    I cant stand when a chicken head comes on here thinking they better, I mean instantly u prove ur worst and you have no life these side pieces need to give it up and walk away promptly!: I mean really the main one has a lot going on, its just stupid broads that have no knowledge is pitiful don't matter what you got a douchebag will hate when she trashy mess real women don't talk stupidity but da wormy side broads do a real woman would not compare herself only little girls do but dudes love pressed chickenheads lmao. toodles

  • Loney

    I like tone some one sissy male maid all the time and they can be kinky to me to like to dress a woman maid and turn me into a woman to and rent me out to