Ten Things Men Find Unattractive in Women But Probably Won’t Tell You

  • Share on Tumblr

“And another thing, you’re baby mama, that b*tch is hating!”

1. Excessively Drunk Women – When I was a boy I thought a group of drunk women was the move. When I go to the club now and see a chick throwing up in the bathroom, I get repulsed. Who’s mans is this?!

2. All the way turned up – Why I can hear you in a club on any night is a problem. It’s loud, there’s loud music, and still I can hear your voice shrieking over the speakers. Or what about those women who can’t control their volume when their drunk and try and talk in your ear but they’re screaming?

3. Negative Women – These women think everything is wack. “How about this lovely 80 degree weather today?” “This is wack, why these girls think it’s ok to be wearing their open toes?!”

4. Impatience – They hate waiting. They are the type to tell you to let them know when you have arrived at the restaurant so they can leave their house. They have cavities on each side of their mouth from sucking their teeth so much.

5. Teen Spirit Women: Waiting to be entertained – These are the ones who are rimming the club waiting for the party to jump off. They bring nothing to the party, but will call it wack because it didn’t turn into a bashment. Although, they didn’t come to dance anyway.

6. Random hair cuts or attempts to go natural – Have you ever seen that look a man has when he’s been caught cheating? It is NOTHING compared to meeting up with his boo and she decided to cut all her hair off. Your hair was down to the middle of your back yesterday, but now you sporting a Kobe fro. We will not be partying like it’s 1999 boo.

  • Share on Tumblr

Pages: 1 2

From Our Partners

  • James

    #6 sounds like some self-hating, "my conditioning has been conditioned" sh*t, but I agree on the others.

    • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

      LOL at 'my conditioning has been conditioned'

      i heart that album (black star). and that movie (chameleon street).

      have to work that back into the lexicon. lol

    • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

      i say that line at least once a week!!! lol!!

    • http://www.twitter.com/missmaricay MariCay7

      Took the words right outta my mouth. I get Dr. J's point, but I can't co-sign the natural hair chop…

    • Sabrina

      AGREED!!! That's the same thing I was thinking, lol!!! An ex stopped speaking to me for a week because I cut my hair…and I'm a HAIRSTYLIST!!!

    • Douglas

      the issue isn't the natural hair the issue is the sporadic nature, the flights of whimsy. Per his post when a woman just does it randomly without even mentioning it this can be unsetteling. I don't care what hairstyle. (For the record, I encouraged my wife to go natural but we had conversations and foresight)

    • jackson

      Sadly, My girlfriend and me broke up a month ago. yeah.. i'm young ,handsome,lonely and still hurting.i may be in need of someone to love..still..My friends told me about cougarkissing_ C0M and i got curious about it.. they met their girlfriends there.,It's the best place to meet a older girlfriend . i cant risk myself..So i got a usename(Qcdude) there in order to find a new girlfriend .Is it wrong?Jessica Simpson is fighting the battle of the post-baby bulge, a process she says is slower than she expected.

  • GoddessKLS

    Ooooooooooohhhhh… I am such a know it all. I got hate in Anatomy class for shout out bones & muscles all willy milly. Trying to tame it but I have so much knowledge to share. LOL… I guess I will just hold it for when the topic comes up in discussion. I am really working on tis Know-it-all thingy. :-/

    Is it the attempt to go natural that's unattractive? The drastic change from relaxed hair to the baby fro? I've been natural for about 6-7 mo now & a lot of guys I meet love it. So I was a little confused on that one.

    As always another good post.

    • http://www.facebook.com/SingleSexySweetee Tee

      I dont think he’s saying men dont like all-natural hair women, hes implying that when you met, he was attracted to how your hair was(not natural,ect) and then you make a drastic change, like cutting or going natural. But if you met the guy with your hair like that, he was already attracted to your natural/cut hair from the beggining.

      • bsbfankaren

        If a man is more attracted to my hair than to me, then there is going to have to be a problem. While I am open to discussing my hair with the man I am with, in the end my hair is my hair, and I cannot imagine being in a relationship with someone who would be embarrassed if my hair were cut short.

      • angelo brannon

        my hair is Natural and it seems more men like it then NOT!

    • Dr Pimp

      Shut up bitch. Get on the floor and suck that dick. I'll give you money to go shopping. Chicken Head Good For Nothing Big Lipped Dick Sucking Nigga!

  • http://www.thegeepee.com modi

    LOL.

    the key joint was #3. every f*cking girl is like that. i hate that sh*t, man. hate it. cot damn. #7 is an automatic horrific joint, but #3 was the sleeper of the list.

    • Sherell

      Every??? *shrugs* Wow who are you hanging out with?

    • ohcanada

      if every woman you know is negative, you need to take a look at yourself and find out why you are attracting negative people in your life. What is it about you that attracts negative people?

      • brownphysicist

        Why do females always refuse to observe that they do the same nonsense that they complain about from men. And yes, A LOT of you females do almost all of this stuff on the list, and it is simply the societal factors that tell you women that you are the greatest things since sliced bread, which keeps this nonsense about "look into yourself because it is really just you that keeps making these women the way they are….blahblahblah…."

        Women have this nack for being able to black the air they are breathing for their bad breadth and it really gets old.

        I think that should have made the list.

        #11: The expert at being unaccountable for any of the nonsense they do, female.

        It has less to do with the messed up personality of the person identifiying the behavior, than the messed up personality of the female in question.

        If it is just a simple case of "the guy must have something wrong with him so that is why the women he meets are B***tchs" then why don't you female like working with other females????

        Explain that one….

        Women hate working with each other, from what I have experienced in both social, and professional environments, because of the back-stabbing, mean, and vendictive behaviors that women exhibit in reference to each other, but the second that a guy says they experience the same thing, you women lie about it, and try to paint the guy as the person with an issue.

        Get off the nonsense people.

        • Rell

          My sister does none of this…I as well as her male friends, and my friends call her the abnormal female. She dates men with a mind of a male. I don't know if it is because our father has been an active figure in her life, or because she would much rather chill with men than women and she's picked up on behavioral things that way or if it's just her make up. Either way..I like the fact that my sister is able to carry herself well.

          To be honest though, the same things that are identified on this list are the same things women dislike about men. It's not a gender thing really. Men behave like children too.

        • bsbfankaren

          Would being attracted to men help you? You seem like a very angry individual, and I can't imagine why any woman of any substance would be attracted to that!

  • sanen85

    I admit, I can't stand when people are late, so I can be impatient. I am pretty patient, as long as there wasn't a set time involved. If there is, I get more and more irritated as time passes. It just feels like when someone doesn't show up when they say they will, they think their time is more valuable. Plus, it's likely going to make me late to whatever I'm doing next. Luckily, I always plan for ish like that and always end up waaaay to early for everything.

    While I love the insight into men's heads, I wouldn't hate if y'all wrote a piece or two being nothing but positive about women, I feel like it's been a minute. Just sayin.

    • Ross

      Being on time is a sign of respect. For both parties.

    • jackson

      My best friend has just announced her wedding with a millionaire. They met via ) ==== cougarkissing_com ==== ( It’s the best place to meet rich successful men & classy beautiful women. Our members include CEOs, pro athletes, doctors, lawyers, models, and celebrities….Maybe you can take a try.

  • sanen85

    Oh, and I'm so afraid to mess with my hair, I have done nothing more than trim it for almost a decade.

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

    good list dude. i agree with much of the list but i would say that i agree most with numbers:

    1. excessively drunk women just bother me. there's nothing wrong with being nice but falling over yourself, throwing up and wanting to fight any chick who looks at you wrong is just not cool.

    10. yeah you're pretty but that doesn't mean that because you bat your eyelashes and smile at me you're gonna get whatever you want. i have no problems saying no to you.

    • Seven

      Exactly! Stumbling…loud…slurred speech…fighting. So not sexy.

    • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

      you know what i love.. i love the chicks that are drunk and wanna get all belligerent (sp?) trying to convince their friends that they aren't.. "get your hands off me".. "i'm fine.. *drool*" all that there, #notsexy..

  • Neex

    I can agree with all apart from #6. As a person/woman/individual I reserve the right to change my appearance at a moment's notice – just as a man does.

    I really hate the thought of women not being about to go natural for fear of their man leaving or cheating on them, especially when it relates to using harmful chemicals or tools to straighten or weaves.

    I don't care too much for a man's hang up – about my hair skimming my butt! When I chose to go natural I shaved my hair and didn't tell a soul – and I got more play than my straight hair/weave wearing friends!! So don't listen ladies if you want to go natural do you it for you and fugg him!!!!

    • CHeeKZ Money

      ……..

      All that works when you are single sister. Sure I'll holla at a bald chick if I like it. But when you are in a relationship such a drastic change will get you the Chris Brown treatment. You can't make drastic decision on your looks OR ANYTHING when you are someone's LIFE PARTNER.

      There is no you, just us. We are not telling you that you can never got natural, once you have been nice and nap free. But there should be a conversation about this and were WE as a couple are going with your hair. What are we looking to accomplish by going short or natural? How long with this phase last? Will you wig it?

      and excuse me, when do men randomly change their looks? I've been getting ceasars since '96 … now that I am growing a fro it shouldn't surprise anyone, you can see it growing in genius.

      S Curl.. Memorial Day '10.. WATCH OUT!

      • Ash

        If your LIFE PARTNER is so focused on your hair that he can't stand you to cut it off, it's time to find a new partner. It's HAIR. It'll grow back.

        • http://www.singleblackmale.org SBM

          Its not "just hair". While you love someone for more than just hair, it is a major change to your look and appearance and I don't think anyone should be faulted for not wanting to see drastic changes every week.

          Hair is important … sorry …

        • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000104760464 Sabrina Adaba

          drastic changes every week? going natural is not drastic changes every week. lets stop being so dramatic. it's funny, because a lot of you guys are enamored with famous women who are constantly changing their hair: color, length, style, etc, but you're super idiotic when it comes to your girlfriend deciding to change hers…not even really change it, but to decide to leave it the way God intended it to be, smh.

        • CHeeKZ Money

          Yeah b/c life partners grow on trees???

          Do y'all ever care about a happy marriage or are you guys just obessed with being independent?

          Get over it???

          http://i36.tinypic.com/2r61i80.jpg

        • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000104760464 Sabrina Adaba

          it's not about being independent. it's about learning to accept yourself the way God intended you to be, and your LIFE PARTNER getting on board and accepting you as well. I'm a hairstylist, so I'm not pro natural or pro relaxer; i do both, but i come across so many women who want to go natural but won't or don't because they are afraid of what their significant other will think or say.

          if this was something that your woman really wanted to do, who's to say that you might not try to talk her out of it because of your own personal insecurities? this is why i don't think it's something that should be discussed with anyone before making the decision, because if it's something that will make her happy, but not you necessarily, how fair will that be? we're not talking life changing events for the both of you here like buying a house, having children, etc, we're talking about a personal decision that a Black woman makes to ACCEPT HERSELF WHOLLY.

        • Toni the brilliant

          i agree with you 1000000000000000000000%. its really crazy when you think about it. glad to know all men dont think like this…i had an ex who was fine and very non confrontational about most things that i did and when i had cut my hair he was just fine about it..Got to love a secure man….

        • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000104760464 Sabrina Adaba

          my current boyfriend is a 180 from my last boyfriend. my last boyfriend stopped talking to me because i got a short haircut for my 19th birthday. i shaved my hair earlier this year, and my new boyfriend absolutely loves it. and i didn't ask for his permission just like i didn't ask for the last ones' permission.

      • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

        "We are not telling you that you can never got natural, once you have been nice and nap free."

        *throat punch* for nice and nap free. lol.

        natural can be nice too. geeeeesh.

        • MissCTG

          @Muze.. yes natural can be nice, but lets be real that *ish is still naptastic! I am natural now.. but I keep it nice and braided up under some fabulous weaves because I can't deal with daily styling process.

          @Cheekz, I agree that in a relationship drastic changes of any sort should at least be a conversation. No you may not, and probably won't get final say (just being honest :-]) but it is a matter of courtesy and respect for you as the other half.

          It is crazy to me that so many women are afraid to admit that Hair Complexes are real things. I tried to deny it for a while, but I've come to accept that I have a hair complex. I don't like to see it too short… I don't like it to not sway a little when I walk. Most women feel this way, but for whatever reason there is a stigma attached to admitting this.. idk *kanyeshrug*

        • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000104760464 Sabrina Adaba

          no stigma, and i'm a hairstylist. the issue is self-hatred, and how we accept this, and how we allow others to impose it on us.

          and you have changed my mind (a little) about discussing it with the significant other; no, he cannot have the final say (but what about those women who just cannot stand up for themselves and what they believe in!?). she really wants to go natural, but her man has just convinced her that she will look ugly, that he wont be attracted to her, etc? women like us probably wouldn't be having it, but others, idk…???

      • Tostada

        Damn. All this for hair? We've got some super controlling men up in here. Next thing you know, they'll be deciding what clothes you wear and what shows you watch on TV. Life partners don't grow on trees, but no one needs a Nazi for a man. Damn.

        • bsbfankaren

          You got that right.

      • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000104760464 Sabrina Adaba

        ok…the logic to this statement is eluding me. what do i accomplish by going natural? how long will this PHASE last!? do you realize the chemicals Black women expose themselves (their BRAINS) to when they relax their hair!? do you realize the Black women (including Black women of Hispanic/ Latina heritage) are the only women who change the texture of their hair because they believe their natural texture to be a malady? we are the only group of women who are consistently told in numerous direct and subliminal ways that we are not beautiful enough unless we straighten our hair, lighten our skin, change our eye color, etc!?

        going natural, for MANY Black women is a personal decision to ACCEPT themselves exactly the way God intended them to be! should this PERSONAL DECISION TO ACCEPT THYSELF be considered a phase!? should I feel the NEED to discuss MY pledge to MYSELF to ACCEPT MYSELF AS I AM with my man simply because….what? can you please explain your case again?

        if we're LIFE PARTNERS, then is it safe to assume that you claim to love me unconditionally? if so, then what would be the need to discuss this decision with you? and what's up with your expression 'nice and nap free?' yeah, you one of those 'my conditioning's been conditioned' Negroes too, smh. a damned shame.

        • http://thescorchedashphilosopher.blogspot.com/ BurntAsh

          Friggin right chic!!! Friggin too right!! I am sick of this rubbish. How I was born is how I'm going to be! You don't like it? Get the stepping!!! Psmmmh!! Sick of this shhhh…!
          My recent post The Year of the Phoenix

      • bsbfankaren

        Wait, the "Chris Brown treatment"? Are you saying you will beat a woman for cutting her hair? Seriously?

        I think you have issues that go far beyond anything mentioned in this post. Seek help. Please!

    • MrsC

      I agree! the funny thing is that we deal with a lot of flaws with men (beer gut anyone? balding prematurely are we?) but God forbid, we change our look. get a life….

    • Michelle

      Me too. I get so much more attention natural. Guys love it.

  • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

    heyyy now. what's wrong with going/being natural?

    tsk tsk.

    unless you just mean doing it with no forewarning, which i'm sure can jar any man. but natural hair is gawgeous.

    …and when straightened, it still grazes dang near my waist line, which is the longest it's been since i was like ummm 12.. so i'm not understanding. lol.

    i know a girl who's HUSBAND didn't speak to her for 3 days when she did her big chop and went natural with no warning (it wasn't funny but it was. lmbo). i think letting him know ahead of time is key. lol.

    • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

      "unless you just mean doing it with no forewarning, which i’m sure can jar any man."

      i think this is what he meant. i would be pissed too if such a drastic change was made without warning.

      • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

        well yeah, that's totally understandable. if my man came home with a neck tat i'd have a REAL problem. people in general need to be eased into things…

        my ex was all for my naturalness though. especially once it started growing like wild flowers and he discovered i had naturally curly "good hair"… which is a whole other animal. ergh.

        • https://www.facebook.com/neverasgoodasthefirsttime Ashanti Gardner

          Good hair -really?

        • bsbfankaren

          Right? My hair is "naturally curly" but I suppose "good hair" is open to interpretation!

      • https://www.facebook.com/neverasgoodasthefirsttime Ashanti Gardner

        Okay – pre-warning is granted. I can understand that. But at the end of the day, if she wants cut, add weave, perm or go natural, she should be allowed to do what makes her happy. We are not our hair. Lets focus on something more important like our family, health, and finances.

    • B*EZ!

      I agree! My hair is natural too and when I straighten my hair it hangs down to the middle of my back. The Fellas love it! My hair never grew this long when I use to use chemicals in it.

  • http://blackgirlunlost.blogspot.com Jubilance

    #6 seems to be true from my experience, tho I dont understand it. Its just hair, it will grow back. When I did my chop I got some compliments from Black men, but a lot of them hit me with the "what happened to the long hair?". Oh well, their preference isn't my problem, I wear my hair for myself, not for anyone else.

    • tiffcheer16

      Thank you. That's exactly what I don't understand. Men (and some women!) act like your hair won't grow back if you cut it. It's hair. It grows. Its probable that your woman didn't cut her hair so that it can be short for life, she cut it so that it can be long, healthy and natural, but too many men are too dense and immature and don't have the ability to see beyond today.

  • Anna N.

    Some of these sound like the shenanigans of young women (loud, drunk, obnoxious, property damage). If you're still running into this gang repeatedly after 25 you may need to change your location. Y'all youngin's will get tired of the club scene soon enough. Actually, I got a 36 year old friend who's nickname is Property Damage. But she has the worse karma ever known to man so she's more of a cautionary tale, lol.

    And yeah, I'll cop to #8. What can I say – I loves me some knowledge, especially if I knew it first!

    • http://thenewlady.blogspot.com AshElleAye

      I'm 20 and I haven't step foot into a club in a year….lol

  • http://twitter.com/S0_FLYY So FLYY aka For Once

    iCosign this whole post & *applause* to me that I am none of the above. Lol. Yes, I am tooting my own horn. However, I do find myself growing impatient as the years go on… but it takes someone being like 20 minutes late before I even notice.

    And about #6… I think some women failed to understand that there is nothing wrong w/ being natural… that wasn't your point. Your point was… I'm your BF, I know what you look like & one day suddenly w/o a moment's notice you look DRASTICALLY different. It would throw me too… if my man went from a Caesar w/ waves like the ocean to rocking a baldie. Point taken.

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000104760464 Sabrina Adaba

      he said 'nice and nap free.' he asked how long the phase would last. he asked if she would 'wig it.' i believe the brother has an issue with natural hair. #justsayin

  • Seven

    uhmmm…I'm definitely #4…all day erry day. Zippo zappo patience. I only demand what I give…I won't make you wait so don't make me. I can't even lie anymore and say I'm working on it…because I'm not. *sigh*

  • QueenT

    I can be impatient when I am waiting for someone. I am habitually on time or early for everything and people who are always late irritate me to the fullest.

    I agree with Sanen85. It has been a minute since we had a post about positive things about a woman. Ya'll going in on the sistas..lol.

    • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetztalk

      We go in on the guys too [||] though…

      and i dont think I was being negative yesterday, I actually told everyone about themselves.

      Look towards China and India, because yall need more people… lol

      • Smiley Face

        Yeah y'all go in on the guys but with a slap on the wrist, and a finger shaking "tut-tut, don't do that." When it comes to where women are as wrong as two left shoes we get the TKO, 1,2 punch, two black eyes and a busted lip…and then you "but we love y'all though." mmmmhhhhmmmm

        • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetztalk

          lmaooooo come on! Yesterday I actually got a men more than women… idk though when SBM wrote the 7 undateable dudes it was a roast…. im bout to add "selective reading" to Dr. Js unattractive list, hahaha :P

        • Smiley Face

          LOL…m'kay Streetz…you notice how silent I was last week? That was my selective reading kicking into gear lamo!!

      • SaneN85

        I know you have went in on the guys too, and that's great. I'm just saying that a positive post about women would be appreciated. Or, maybe just a positive post about men/women and their relationships in general. That's not asking too much, right? :)

  • ECL

    This list is interesting. Granted as a female with 5 brothers some of … well maybe most of these I agree with. I am not attracted to women, but I hate to see a chick doggin her man out in public. I think it is terrible. If you have a problem with something he does let him know in private, at home. Dont demasculinize him in front of people. The only one I can't and refuse to agree with is is the one on cutting of hair. I had natural hair for 8 years. During that time I grew locs which were down my back and cut them back off. I then grew my hair back out relaxed it again and it was long middle of my back and most recently I cut it short. In that time I never had a problem with my hair being natural… Hell my ex, used to keep it cut for me… LOL! And my man now has no problem with it being short after being long as long as it looks nice and I am quoting him " I don't look like a boy" he is cool wth whatever. Now I DO make sure to notify him ahead of time… LOL~

  • http://www.sheliagoss.com Shelia G

    Interesting list–all except for #6 the hair part. She shouldn't need permission to change her hair if that's what she wants. If she's bold enough to do that much a drastic change, then she probably's not concerned with your opinion at that point; otherwise, she would mention it.

    • ECL

      Exactly!

    • Hugh Jazz

      Sheila G: "If she’s bold enough to do that much a drastic change, then she probably’s not concerned with your opinion at that point; otherwise, she would mention it."

      Neex: "So don’t listen ladies if you want to go natural do you it for you and fugg him!!!!"

      Ladies, follow this advice at your own risk. This advice ties directly into point 10.

      • ECL

        LMAO!!! Oh man I didn't even think about that… ha ha ha. Even still a man should respect a woman's right to change her hair. I do think however, if it is going to be a drastic change i.e from long to short… brown to yellow… hell bald to long at least give him a warning so he can be prepared… LOL!

      • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

        "Ladies, follow this advice at your own risk. This advice ties directly into point 10."

        -thank you. these women don't get it. it's not like you're asking permission. we know you're going to do what you want to do with your body anyway. a little warning would be nice. also, if you're single do what the h*ll you wanna do but i would think if you're in a committed relationship then a little warning would be appropriate.

        what if your man one day just came home with a tat on his neck? when questioned he simply shrugged and said its my body? i would imagine that wouldn't go over so well.

        • Ash

          Ok, I can agree with a warning. That way, the man knows not to have the stank, surprise face when you debut the new 'do.

        • http://www.sheliagoss.com Shelia G

          Tunde, I wouldn't have an issue with the tattoo unless it had some other woman's name on it…LOL

      • http://www.sheliagoss.com Shelia G

        "Ladies, follow this advice at your own risk. This advice ties directly into point 10."

        lol Hugh Jazz…she'll only find her next victim if she has the attitude of #10.

      • bsbfankaren

        Point taken. However, if a man's feelings for me are tied to the length of my hair, then we have issues that are going to need to be addressed anyway.

  • Cally

    #1 – sloppy drunk has dropped you from a 10 to a 5 … listen to Kanye "Drunk and Hot Girls"

    #2 – why you yelling my name in the mall … quicken your step or message me on my phone or something … "shhhhh"

    #7 – you can't just make sh!t up and act like its true.

    #10 – really though … "because you can" is the reason you just keyed my car when you thought I might have been flirting with your friend.

    This list is so onpoint.

    • bagelnotoast

      #10 scares me to death.

  • Hugh Jazz

    Not much to add.

    Women that love to argue: The cousin of number 8. They argue just to start something and can never be wrong. They will argue over the most insignificant things. They turn benign statements into insults. I think many women like this just want to talk to their man, but just really have nothing to say, so they argue just so there is some sort of verbal exchange.

    Women who dress like wh0res and get mad when you look at them: Don’t walk around with your breasts about to fall out and cop an attitude if someone glances in your direction. Half of the time when someone looks, it is in disgust, not desire.

    Clingy women: Get a hobby or some friends!

    • Cally

      Clingy woman … or woman who's only interest is their dude … lame. Start knitting or basket weaving, bowling …

    • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

      i once broke up with a dude because he was too clingy.. it's a KILLER!!

      i'm not gonna lie.. i used to pick fights just so my dude would go home and give me some "me time".. yeah, the communication skills were weak then.. NOT NO MO!

    • Smiley Face

      "Women who dress like wh0res and get mad when you look at them: Don’t walk around with your breasts about to fall out and cop an attitude if someone glances in your direction. Half of the time when someone looks, it is in disgust, not desire."

      Wash, rinse, repeat! LOL

  • Britnee

    Yea know you know you wrong for #6 about going natural or cutting your hair…it's not happening to you so deal wit that ish!!

    • Hugh Jazz

      "Yea know you know you wrong for #6 about going natural or cutting your hair…it’s not happening to you so deal wit that ish!!"

      If you're in a relationship, you do have a duty to inform him. You'd look askance if he was baby-faced and decided on his own to grow an 0sama beard.

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. naturally

        The thing is, I would never suggest that my man should ask me before he chooses to grow a beard. He is not a child, and he doesn't need my permission. He can tell me or not tell me. It's his face. The same is true for women who choose to cut, color, go natural, or anything else we choose to do with our hair.

        • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetztalk

          Im sorry but if a woman came home Amber Rose'n it out the blue with no heads up (pun not intented0 we'd have a SERIOUS problem!

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A.naturally

          No, Streetz, YOU would have a serious problem. On the way home, she probably got the number of a man who loves her hair, and will be your replacement if you so choose to allow your problem to dictate the course of the relationship.

        • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetztalk

          @Nia

          Thats fine with me. plenty of fish in the sea right?

          You blew over my entire point. A sudden change like that… it would be a necessary courtey to give a SO a heads up. Women are quick to chastize men who "act like their still single" with decisions they make (not involving cheating or ish like that), but its cool for a woman to go bald or super low or get a arm sleeve tat or an eye piercing and NOT give a heads up?

          Then Im suppose to worry about other dudes? Child please…

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A.naturally

          @Streetz

          we are talking about physical appearance here. Hair… Name one thing women chastise men about as it relates to their body and just physical appearance. And I will counter that with a 100 different ways men seek to control our bodies and physical appearance.

          Now, would it be nice if your girl gave you a heads up "I'm cutting all my hair off today, bye." type of phone call? Sure. Does she have to do so? No. In this instance, courtesy would be nice, but it's not necessary.

          If my man cuts his dreads one day, and comes in with nice cut, I would be shocked, but I'm not going to trip about a grown man deciding to something with his own body.

          Bottom line… it's hair, it grows back. It's not like she's getting a tattoo across her face.

        • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

          NIA.. report the principal's office with your books. Not only are you vehemently defending #6, but… you managed to get #8 and #10 in there.

          Plus everyone should note that this list is not about whether or not a man should be upset about this, it's about the fact that he finds it unattractive. I will say this though, this list and a list on ten things that will make a guy not smash are completely different.

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A.naturally

          lol @DrJ

          Question… is the shorter hair unattractive, or is it the fact that she didn't confer with you first? or both?

        • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

          for some reason i feel like being honest, imma carry this torch so a lot of dudes dont have to.

          to me, i don't like short hair. i have met very few chicks with short hair that i found attractive. that's me, i like long hair, that's my ish. i'm entitled.

          but i'd say the issue is not the short hair, its not conferring.

          but either way, i've been known to say to a girl, "if you cut your hair, i'm breaking up with you." i was only half-serious. but that 50% was from the heart SON.

      • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

        LMAO @ "askance"… love the use of the word.. i think i tingled a little bit..

        i'm not even sure how the whole "hair" thing turned into a women's liberation movement.. BUT if something is going to drastically change my appearance, then yeah, i would kindly give a heads up.. why wouldn't i?? if he decided to grow dreads, i'm thinking the first time he didn't go for his tape, i'd be like "sweetie, what's crackin with the hair on your head.."

        i understand when the women get all "i'm done with that relationship, so i'm gonna cut my hair off.." but WHILE you're in a relationship? i think it is a double standard to want to consider no one in your decision making.. when he bragged to the homies that his girl was tight, and rockin her own hair.. then you show up to the Super Bowl party lookin like Lauryn Hill (post breakup).. the homies are gonna look at your man like he bumped his head on somethin..

        *based ona true story*

        me: "i think i'm gonna cut my hair"

        current lover: *side eye*

        me: "what's that mean, you wouldn't like me with short hair?"

        current lover: "i dont' know, but let's not risk it.."

        moral of the story- you better hope Keylolo hooks up the mohawk OUTTA THIS WORLD!!!

        • http://www.twitter.com/missmaricay MariCay7

          LOL @ "then you show up to the Super Bowl party lookin like Lauryn Hill (post breakup).."

          I can dig that a man/woman should confer to their S/O when changing something about their appearance, makes sense. I would hate to be in a r'ship and my man goes from a caesar to a baldie *NO BUENO*! But I do find that there are many brothers who have issues with natural hair and I think it has a lot to do with some self-hatred issues that need to be touched upon. I mean it makes me wonder if dudes would have the same issue if a natural-haired sister said they'd like to perm their hair and grow it out…Just wondering.

          And since Dr. J wrote this post I already knew how he felt about the long hair so I can't say I'm surprised lol

      • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000104760464 Sabrina Adaba

        not really…my bf just decided to grow his beard, and i noticed, and said it looked good. i'm much more concerned with whether or not he just up and decides to move out of New York without discussing it with me first; a beard and/or me shaving my head to go natural is nothing compared to a decision like that.

        • https://www.facebook.com/neverasgoodasthefirsttime Ashanti Gardner

          LOL- right on, Sabrina.

  • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetztalk

    #9 in a relationship will be killer. Ive dealt with that before, and its similar to drug addicts. You ask "when is enough enough?" lolol

    Rest of the list is en punto!

  • Yea its me again the

    My top 10

    1) Bad Breathe – its ok if its at a party and its 4AM that might happen but everyday? damn thats sad

    2) Pit Stains – cmon love womens deodorant is strong I've used it before you have issues

    3) Against Cult Films – How you never watched Friday? and don't think Dave Chapelle is funny? To me that's an early sign of self hatred….mad Ivy League girls are like this smh

    4) Always complaining about my rap music and "how do u listen to that all day"…..damn i was raised on wu-tang chill out

    5) Easy to impress – "oh wow this place is nice….." bitch i'm renting a room this aint even my sh*t

    6) Babies – "if u wanna get in good with me u got to get in good with my son" …..chill his dad come over here once every other week

    7) Won't let me wear my du-rag to sleep – this is normally other races of women…black women don't say nuthin cuz they got they hair wrapped up too……u ever have sex while u got on a du-rag and she got her hair in a rag too haha sh*t is funny

    8.) Broke….nuff said

    9) Don't get along w/ ur friends or family – this is often a sign u need to leave that chick but most dumb ppl don't recognize if nobody likes her but u then sumthin is wrong

    10) Slick w/ the mouth – keep talkin and i'll put u out….out of my house or out of my car, thruway or not

    • Mary

      #9 is a serious red flag for men and women. There are a few exceptions, like a seriously dysfunctional family or friends that wouldn't know normal if it sat on them. But generally, so much grief could be avoided if we paid attention to this one.

      Upstate, thanks for pointing this one out.

  • Smiley Face

    LOL..I'm number 6 all day long ( I don't ask but I do inform him.) I change my hair like I change my draws (lol), especially when it comes to cutting it off *shrugs* he's used to it and actually looks as me sideways when I have long hair for more than a minute, lol. He knows something is up when I say "I'm getting my hair done." Which usually means "I'm getting this hair cut off!" When I told him I was growing out my relaxer, he asked why and what it meant , I told him, he shrugged "ok" and went on about his business.

    I grew up with 7 brothers so I can attest to conversations about the rest of your list, especially pissy drunk women.

  • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

    "nobody likes a know it all". I say this to people often. even though at times I can be one. yeah. lol.

    I'm impatient. as hell. I'm also pretty prompt and hate to wait on people so yes, now I've become late. that way I'm really on time #dontjudgeme

    I used to be the "I can do whatever I want" but luckily I grew out of that in my late teens and nobody had to almost kill me in the process…

    good list. I laughed real hard at the "random hair cuts & going natural one" MEN HATE for you to cut your hair! LOL

    • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

      i knew someone that hated for me to cut my hair.. i was like "my ends are split".. and he still didn't care.. WTF?!?! why do you value quantity over quality.. it'll grow back baby, calm down.. PLEASE!!

  • http://twitter.com/MrSpradley TheMostInterestingMa

    Off the top of my head – one thing I'd add to the list is:

    "Goddamn she fine but she parties all the time"

    Having dozens of pictures with "alltheparties.com" or "7days7nights.com" cards in your hand on your facebook page is extremely unattractive.

    I'm also not a fan of women who use excessive foul language. I barely curse, so, if you curse more than I do, it's a problem.

    • Cally

      Agreed.

    • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

      i barely curse too.. on the flip side.. i don't entertain men that curse before you've even found out my name.. what the french toast?!?! you REALLY couldn't find any other way of telling me you'd like to get to know me….

      i AGREE wtih all the party pics on the facebook page.. did you really need all that just to validate your importance? yeah, you were there, WE KNOW IT, everyone saw you!! lol..

      • http://twitter.com/MrSpradley TheMostInterestingMa

        Let me amend that to say – the only time it's ok for a lady to curse, is in the bedroom (or on the couch, or on the kitchen counter… you get the picture). In those circumstances… it's sexy…

        • Seven

          lol…much better

    • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

      you know what…. that didn't even cross my mind (i'm sick, sue me).. matter of fact, that IS the only time that i curse.. and the fact that it's not a part of my daily speech, shocks him.. and turns him on even more…. #thatsagoodlook

    • http://www.twitter.com/missmaricay MariCay7

      Sh*t! I'm working on it lol. Def got better over the years, I used to curse like a truck driver, not sexy, I know, but I'm just expressing myself and I grew up around some foul-mouthed mofos. #kanyeshrug

  • http://twitter.com/blacknerdgirl Ladycakes

    I tend to be a Ms. Know it All sometimes. My ex would be talking about something in the news and then I would sometimes go off this tangent smh. I would and see his WTF face and be like too much sorry.I still have to catch myself and pull back.

    As for cutting the hair natural thing tough luck. That's the reason I paid for my hair appointment so I could what I want with my hair.

  • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

    imma put it like this… if your man came home with a tattoo on the side of his face, how would you react? that's how we react to you cutting the hair. i'm doing another post in a few weeks on Ten Things Men Find Attractive but won't tell you…. here's a sample:

    1) When she's on top and she lets that pin or the tie out her hair and it just falls down, flowing over her back and chest. *reach out and touch something only you can feel*

    • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

      i've heard that before too.. hence, my hair is only trimmed, not cut.. lol!!

      • SaneN85

        I don't think this one belongs in the category of things men find attractive but won't tell you.

        It's nice to see I'm not the only who doesn't make drastic changes to my hair.

        • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

          make no mistake.. i once cut all my hair off (pixie style).. because i put too many colors in my hair in high school and wanted it to grow in healthy.. but BELIEVE i was single at the time.. #nuffsaid

        • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

          I forgot I owe you a picture, I hope this works.

        • SaneN85

          See, that's what I'm talkin about. Now, if only we can get the rest of these folks to ante up with the pictures.

        • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

          @Dr. J

          thank you for being a man of your word..

          @SaneN85

          i saw the pic and was like "HEY NOW!!" i was just gonna mention it.. glad you stayed on him.. (lol, but not like that..)

        • Hugh Jazz

          SaneN85: "See, that’s what I’m talkin about. Now, if only we can get the rest of these folks to ante up with the pictures."

          I like the anonymity. I think I'll leave the Thugnificent avatar up for now.

        • SaneN85

          Hugh, I can see why some prefer the anonymity, I just like having faces with names.

          Besides, choose the anonymity comes with the territory of knowing that we're out here assuming that you're looking like Leatherface.

        • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

          you know why pictures are important? because you'll have come girl who is caramel complexion claiming to the 165 lb adult Jesus that she's a red bone.

          or like back in the day when we had blackplanet.

          xxxDimplesxxx – No girl, you just have bad skin.

          ThickThickGyrl – No girl, you just big.

          GreenEyedLady – No girl, yo eyes is hazel.

          These all are part of #7.

      • Anna N.

        Oooo, I got your number now! If someone approaches you at Club Wendy's and starts blessign you out for no apparent reason, it's me, lol. 8)

    • Smiley Face

      having short hair has not stopped Mr Mister from reaching out for something he can feel…

    • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

      "1) When she’s on top and she lets that pin or the tie out her hair and it just falls down, flowing over her back and chest. *reach out and touch something only you can feel*"

      co-mf-sign….

      i have quite a few things i could add to your future blog post. i look forward to reading it.

    • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A.naturally

      1) When she’s on top and she lets that pin or the tie out her hair and it just falls down, flowing over her back and chest. *reach out and touch something only you can feel*

      I'm guessing locs isn't included in this description… lol.

      • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetztalk

        Locs are ALWAYS included :)

        and btw, shorty in that pic is cute. Dr J, your google game is immaculate!

      • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

        I need a picture! Locks can be hit or miss. Grooming is important. I used to talk to a woman, SGRhos stand up, had beautiful locks with the red tips and everything. But actually that's the end of the story becuase I never dated anyone else with them.

        But.. just like every dude when he trying to get the cornrows goes through that hung stage, that stage when girls can barely get a pony tail, is u-g-l-y you ain't got no alibi.

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. naturally

          I've never known anyone who dated an SGRho… or at least admitted to dating one.

          I keed, I keed.

          I need a martini, stat! lol

        • SGRHOGIRL

          don't be disrespectful. thanks.

        • Sherell

          Many woman can rock a short do and look good. In some cases they look better with short hair. Like Halle, Nia Long, Jada Smith and Toni Braxton. Personally, I will do a short do before I get a weave.

        • UmmYeahOK

          Ditto!

        • QueenT

          Looks like you are wrapping on the mike..in the pic of yourself…Like you are right in the middle of "the hip hop the hippety to hippety the hip hip the hop you don't stop the rock"…lol.

        • SGRHOGIRL

          *standing up*

      • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

        i love locs. as long as they are maintained.

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A.naturally

        @ Streetz, Dr.J, Tunde

        Now, I'm going to have to update my photo. lol.

    • UmmYeahOK

      Just know what your man likes! I had a short jet black pixie with chunky streaks of silver-gray when I met my ex. He always called me a young, sexy Cruella DeVille lol! He said that's part of what attracted him to me…I didn't have the cookie cutter blow out or weave. I assumed all men lusted after long hair…I was SO wrong. I get SO much more positive attention with short hair, it was a litte off-putting at first. I think a lot of women hide behind long hair, BUT if you have a truly attractive face, short hair will only enhance your beauty. I don't think I could go back to long hair again.

  • Seven

    I'm not understanding the issue with #6…what is so wrong with asking your partner what he thinks about "this look" or "that"? I think it's just considerate to get their opinion…not saying don't get the purple mohawk even if he hates it…but at least allow him to feel that he is important enough to warrant an opinion. I dunno…just wandering in the dark here.

    • http://twitter.com/blacknerdgirl Ladycakes

      I don't really worry about it now because I have locs but if I decided to cut them I would probably would let him know.

      The only reason I cut my hair off in the first place is because the lady who did perms where I went to school had a curl and I wasn't about to let her on my head. I did let my bf at the time I cut it after it was done. He was shocked but he got over it.

    • Niecy

      I totally agree with you on this one

  • Hugh Jazz

    N.I.A.: “The thing is, I would never suggest that my man should ask me before he chooses to grow a beard.”

    I’m not talking about a Rick Ross beard. I’m talking about baby-faced to a 10-inch beard. If you wouldn’t have a problem, then you are in the minority.

    “YOU would have a serious problem. On the way home, she probably got the number of a man who loves her hair, and will be your replacement if you so choose to allow your problem to dictate the course of the relationship.”

    I love when women use this argument! As if that guy doesn’t have a Rolodex full of numbers to replace her with. In fact, when a woman comes home with her hair chopped off, he probably sowed some seeds and called one or two of those women in the Rolodex, just to see how she was doing since he hasn’t heard from her in a while.

    “Name one thing women chastise men about as it relates to their body and just physical appearance. And I will counter that with a 100 different ways men seek to control our bodies and physical appearance.”

    Apples and oranges. Men are primarily attracted visually, so women’s appearances mean more to men than vice versa. Women know this, which is why y’all wear weaves, wigs, fake lashes, makeup, push-up bras, heels, revealing clothing, etc.

    “…is the shorter hair unattractive, or is it the fact that she didn’t confer with you first? or both?”

    Generally speaking, shorter hair is more unattractive than long hair. But the issue in this particular case is making a drastic change in her appearance without saying something prior.

    • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A.naturally

      I love when women use this argument! As if that guy doesn’t have a Rolodex full of numbers to replace her with. In fact, when a woman comes home with her hair chopped off, he probably sowed some seeds and called one or two of those women in the Rolodex, just to see how she was doing since he hasn’t heard from her in a while.

      Thing is, if this is the case, the relationship should probably be deaded anyway. That's really my main point. At some time, during a serious, long term relationship, the shallow shyt should be thrown out the window. Now, I understand the initial shock and disappointment, but something like that should never make or break a serious relationship. Unless, she has a pattern of not considering your feelings at all… then that's another topic for another time.

      But, I do understand where the fellas are coming from. Basic consideration… I get it. I really do… lol.

      • Hugh Jazz

        "Thing is, if this is the case, the relationship should probably be deaded anyway. That’s really my main point."

        I'll cosign that. It's just that when a woman cuts her hair without saying something, he probably won't leave you, but you'll be in time out!

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A.naturally

          LOL @ time out.

    • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

      "I love when women use this argument! As if that guy doesn’t have a Rolodex full of numbers to replace her with. In fact, when a woman comes home with her hair chopped off, he probably sowed some seeds and called one or two of those women in the Rolodex, just to see how she was doing since he hasn’t heard from her in a while."

      thats the same thing i was thinking. gtfohwtbs

      i agree. generally speaking, long hair is more attractive than short hair. saying that long hair will not make an ugly face more attractive and short hair will not make a beautiful face less attractive. but a beautiful face with long hair = winner (in my book).

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A.naturally

        I will not gtfohwtbs!! lol.

  • http://www.funms-funms.blogspot.com funmsdrebirth

    this list is so true…..im a woman, and i hate negative female friends so i can imagine a man's horror if stuck with a negative woman….

    I once cut my hair in a relationship………err lets say i will NEVER try it again…

    Great post Dr J

  • MrsTTG

    This list is on point, and unfortunately still describes many woman well over the age of 25. #4 is just ridiculous in any person. How is that your time is anymore valuable than anyone else's? Same goes for people habitually late. What makes you so special that we gotta wait on your ass?

  • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

    I agree with the men on this. when I'm in a relationship and thinking of cutting my hair–I do like the change up my hair at times–I tell my SO "I think I want to cut my hair". and if I want to do it, I do it. thats it. but at least I let him know. I've received tons of apprehension and then they see it like "oh your lil peanut head is kinda cute" or "thats nice, when are you gonna grow it back, though?" LOL. if it suits you even if its a different look, they are most of the time cool with it anyway…

    • Anna N.

      Reecie we come from the "cater to you" school of thought. I haven't jumped in on this hair thing because I JUST had this convo with the s/o. I will ask my man how he likes my hair. My thing is hair care, not hair styles so it's no skin off my back to wear it how he likes. He's cool with short hair (at least he thinks he is, we'll see if I cut it off, lol) but he is anti-weave. I keep saying I'm going to get one, but he doesn't know that I've been saying that for the past ten years and ain't done it yet.

      Ladies, let's get real. There are some women who are real hairnistas who express themselves through their follicles, and that's great for them. Most of us, however, wear our hair for our men. That's why your first move once you get back from the salon is a quick twirl and a "Do you like it?" to your s/o. Even if it's a "surprise" his approval is sought out quickly. After all, he is the only one who has to run his hands through it (and maybe yank it a little) every night. This thought process also leads to the "break-up haircut" a la Bernedine in "Waiting to Exhale".

    • http://eloquence-inc.blogspot.com Eloquence, Inc.

      "when are you gonna grow it back though?" is his extremely diplomatic way of saying ugh, don't do this sh*t again, and hurry up and fix it.

      We women need to learn how to not mistake kindness for weakness…he's not going to flat out tell you he finds it less attractive…and all these women saying they don't care what the guy thinks about their hair…I don't know, I'd be offended if my own man did not care how I his girl not just some friend feel about any potential changes to his appearance. If I don't like beards and he insists on growing one then I'm thinking he doesn't care about me or my opinions…

      And most black men do not like short hair. It reminds them of being poor and unable to afford to do your hair…and in some distant part of their minds it reminds them of slavery. The under 35 crowd anyway. Older black men and other races of men liked my hair when i went from Kyla Pratt to Amber Rose…but not the younger black crowd…they want hair, and they might not like weaves but I think they actually prefer that to a whole bunch of halle berry's walking around. Unless you in fact look like Halle Berry… sad or not, it's true. Watch who they go for in general first and see. Some men also think women with extra short afros who wear lots of sexy or revealing clothes are freaks, as in tongue-ring type freak not circus freak.

      My recent post Trinidad Carnival: How To Vacation/Play Mas On A VERY Tight Budget

  • Peach Cobbler

    Everything but #6

  • http://www.twitter.com/RealTalkSuki Sue

    #2 Ugh with a side of UGH.

    #3 triple UGH

    #5 should have stayed her ass at home

    #6 u haven't noticed the new wave of cutting all your hair off? lol it's cute and all on SOME but NOT ALL lol Thank you India Arie #IAmNotMyHairButIKeptMostOfMine ^_^

    #7 i hate liars in all shapes and forms

    #9 Hate attention Hungry h*es… =( u already got the whole block looking at you.. you want the fuckin world..

    HOW about the ones that think the world and its events revolve around them?? I dunno if that's Attention hordes but that may have a category of its own…

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

    its funny to me how a lot of women are agreeing with everything except #6. the list is "things men find unattractive but probably won't tell you". how are you (as a woman) going to tell a man what he deems attractive/unattractive? hilarious.

    • http://www.twitter.com/RealTalkSuki Sue

      lmao all i'm doing is agreeing. This list is hilarious and I can only see why the guy would be upset is his girl had Pocahontas hair on Wednesday and now she looks like Kobe (lmao) on Friday. That's disrespectful. No kinda warning or nothing..

  • http://twitter.com/jedikj Peter Parker

    agree with all…especially 6, 8, and 10.

  • SaneN85

    I just noticed that there is a question in this post, and since I mostly agree with this list, I guess I will answer that question. Here are some of the things I find unnattractive about men that I probably wouldn't say tell…

    1. Homophobia, especially severe homphobia.

    2. Negativity, constant self-pity, and/or thinking the world is against you.

    3. Quitting because things weren't easy/feeling like everything should already be done for you because that's how your momma did it.

    4. Letting your boys affect how you act, who you are, or how you react to things. Being one person around your boys and another person the rest of the time is not the bizness. Otherwise known as frontin.

    These are just a few that I thought of off the top of my head.

    Also, one thing that I find attractive on men but probably wouldn't tell is the back of a man's neck. There is something so sexy about a strong, smooth neck.

    • http://www.twitter.com/RealTalkSuki Sue

      Wow, you're right. I cosign that list. I'm feeling too lazy to think of some.. well..

      1. Negativity is THE major one – foul ass attitude, a face that says "The World Stinks", close to nothing positive to say about anything – and I think it goes hand in hand with quitting because things just didn't go their way.

      2. Bad hygiene (speaks for itself… I have a sensitive nasal cavity and my eyes catch a lot of things)

      3. Smoking.. I don't have an issue with them smoking weed.. I don't condone it either. But once you touch a cigarette, your attraction just went from a 8 to a -2.

      4. Excessive cursing. What will happen when you want to sweet talk me? I know you won't be DMX growling but will you be cussing it up like that when he does growl? I don't like being growled at ALL the time.. =

      5. Attention hungry and selfish whores. You want it all. You don't want to have your cake and eat it too. You want the whole friggin bakery, baker can stay or go.

      6. Cold-hearted(ness) #noAphiA We've all been through things. Don't be such a prick. It's so uncalled for. I can't elaborate on that.

      I think we can even make your list unisex Dr. J. So add those other 10 to this list, if they aren't already repeated.

    • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

      Stop it! You see this is another unattractive thing about women. Their inability to stay on topic so that they can TURN THE TABLE.

      Every woman is a certified club banger DJ because they are born with a doctorate in turn tablism.

      • http://twitter.com/jedikj Peter Parker

        well the question at the end was kinda general…

        *Jay-Z Shrug*

      • SaneN85

        "These are my ten. What are some of yours?"

        It was down there at the bottom in BOLD even. I assumed that you were talking to your entire readership and not just the men, and since I don't have a list of things that make women unnattractive to me, I thought a list about men would be acceptable. Please know that I am sticking out my tongue at you, even if you can't see it.

        I was just trying to spur some conversation not involving hair issues (since I don't have much to say on drastically changing up my hair).

        • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

          My bad. *tail in between legs*

          "Game on." – Wayne from Wayne's World

        • http://www.twitter.com/RealTalkSuki Sue

          *snaps fingers* Ooo she told YOU!

        • SaneN85

          You are forgiven. LOL

        • Anna N.

          *insert smug snickering here*

          For the record, Dr. J – I agree with your hair stance.

      • Hugh Jazz

        Dr. J: "Stop it! You see this is another unattractive thing about women. Their inability to stay on topic so that they can TURN THE TABLE."

        I was going to say that during the "Represent Men" week, but I left it alone.

      • http://www.twitter.com/missmaricay MariCay7

        Every woman is a certified club banger DJ because they are born with a doctorate in turn tablism.

        Jay, did you hafta go IN the way you just did?! LMAO!!!!! Allladatdoe?? You just straight laid the SMACK-DOWN on not just @SaneN85, but women and YOU were in the wrong…tsk tsk!

    • QueenT

      CO-SIGNATURE!!

      Things I find unnattractive in a man:

      Full Beards! I like a clean shaven face…or a nice well trimmed, goatee.

      Men who have issues with their Mom. If you don't like your Mom..something is wrong with YOU.

      Men who don't take care of their kids…or don't take an interest in their offspring..and put a chick before their kids. You are triflin'!

      Men who wear a full head of braids! That is just a turn-off.

      Men with the pants hangin down to the ground! Lookin' like a cot dam FOOL!

      Men who cruise the clubs. Sit yo azz down negroe.

      • http://www.twitter.com/missmaricay MariCay7

        AGREEEEED! There are a PLETHORA of other things I could add, but I won't, you just listed most of my basics and to add to the momma thing, how about the opposite:

        Dudes who's mothers run EVERYTHING, including (but not limited to) their relationships! That.just.irks.my.damn.NERVE! That's when I'm OVER AND OUT! #growthehellUP!

      • SaneN85

        Men who don't take care of their kids is the #1 for me (and I had completely forgotten it). Especially if they have the testicular fortitude to blame it all on the baby's mama(s). On top of that, men who do do nothing but complain about what a b*tch she is, etc. are on that list too. Now there are some cases where it is the truth, but still that's the mother of your child.

        In fact, cosign on your whole list QueenT.

      • CHeeKZ Money

        "Men who have issues with their Mom. If you don’t like your Mom..something is wrong with YOU."

        ???????

        No reasonable person thinks my mom is in her right mind. People act like mom's haven't drown their kids or sold them off into the sex trade. Where is it written that once you become a mom you become a decent human being?

        The only reason why I have successful relationship with people (both S/O's and freinds) is b/c I didn't listen to her and use other resources to develop my behavior.

        • SaneN85

          That's funny, CHeeKZy (can I call you CHeeKZy ;)), that was the one thing I on the list I had issue with. It was just easier to cosign the whole list, I guess. As someone who has had tumultous (at best) relationships with my family members including my mother, I don't look at anyone suspect if they have issues in that area. It's that kind of thought that makes me insecure about my familial relationships.

        • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

          this is where i'm at with it. not every mother is a good person. i love my mother to death but i wouldn't judge a person that has a strained relationship with theirs.

        • CHeeKZ Money

          … I'm Simping hard.

          CHeeKZy is ok for Sane only.

        • QueenT

          Cheekz, obviously I am not talking about Mother's who seek to do harm to their children….I have had issues with my Mother over the years, I am not talking about disagreements. I am talking about men who will tell you outright..I don't like my Mother…to me you should always love and respect your Mother…yes, you will have issues but the love and general respect should remain……

  • QueenT

    ..Oh and one more:

    That arrogant, successful negroe..who think he has it going on SO much that he don't even realize without God's mercy and blessings..he wouldn't have the success he has. This man doesn't have a humble bone in his body…he's a success and nobody likes him..because his personality sucks! You are unnattractive!

    That is all.

    • UmmYeahOK

      AMEN to that!!! Men like that should cuddle up to and fawk their paystubs.

  • Miss Tre

    Ahhh #6. I know when I went natural in 2000 I spoke to anyone who would listen. It is very unlikely that that someone who is a relationship would not tell the person at all.

    The whole long hair is more attractive is just sad. Liking is one thing, Threating a break-up is something different. We as a community have some serious issues with our hair. And that is real talk. Look how many weaves are out there. It aint all about "mixing things up"

    I cut off all my hair twice. Once when I was cutting off the relaxer. My then boyfriend was fine. He was actully happy i decided to stop putting harmless chemicals on my head) The second tme was five years laters for a change. My husband was fine. He knew I was thinking about it, didn't know when. Both times, I went from mid back hiar to about inch. I guess I wouldn't never be involed with the type of man that would trip over something like that.

    • Tonia

      Thank you for your eloquence. I have been bothered by the comments that some of these men have made.

  • Hugh Jazz

    SaneN85: "Hugh, I can see why some prefer the anonymity, I just like having faces with names.

    Besides, choose the anonymity comes with the territory of knowing that we’re out here assuming that you’re looking like Leatherface."

    I certainly don't mind if people assume that. I could look like Leatherface or look like (insert hot nijja du jour). There are people who frequent this blog who have seen pictures of me. You could figure out who they are and ask them, but I'm pretty sure most people here could care less what I look like.

    • SaneN85

      Like I said, I just like putting faces to names, and I was just messing around about the Leatherface thing. I'm sure some concerned citizen would have locked you away by now if that was the case.

  • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

    Whoever recommended that we all get pictures up on our comments is my hero. It's good seeing some of y'all faces. And we got some PYTs on here.

    • SaneN85

      *Takes a bow* (Probably narrowingly missing getting hit by Hugh's tomatoes).

      • Hugh Jazz

        No tomatoes at all. I just think my Thugnificent avatar looks quite smashing!

        Hater say HUH? Hater say WHAT?

        Cause if you hate on me you get STOMP IN THE NU+S!

        NI99A!

        YOU GET STOMPED IN THE NU+S!

        Stomp 'em in the nu+s, Imma stomp 'em in the nu+s!

        Stomp 'em in the nu+s, Imma stomp 'em in the nu+s!

        Stomp 'em in the nu+s, Imma stomp 'em in the nu+s!

        If a ni99a try to snitch, he gets stomped in the nu+s!

        Boondocks Season 3, finally returning May 2!

        • http://true2lifemusic.net CHeeKZ-Money

          I Co-sign everything Boondocks!

          Esp the lost BET episodes

        • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

          can't wait for boondocks to return.

  • Amber

    I don't have a problem with the sentiment behind #6 but I do take issue with the way you chose to present it. Of course you should let your SO know before you change your appearance–that goes both ways, w/o communication there really is no relationship anyway. But your dismissive attitude towards a woman's natural hair ("attempts" to go natural? wtf!) is really wrong-headed. If a man doesn't respect and support his gf's decisions…and looks at those decisions as "random" or unimportant…well he's not worth holding on to.

    • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr.J

      Hmm.. well on the one side, I think you may be reading too deep. But let's also talk about the willy nilly behavior of some women. They wake up and it's hot and they are like, "I think i'll cut my hair." They make the decision in 30 minutes, but the time it takes to grow back is years.

      When I said attempts to go natural it's because there are so many ways women try and do it. They cut it all off, they let it grow out and then cut it, they let it grow out completely. But often times they let it grow out and then the first sign of humidity, they are like oh hell nah and they are back to the relaxer. ATTEMPTS.

      • Amber

        :) I don't think that there's such a thing as reading too deeply. The words we choose to use when expressing ourselves say just as much about our feelings as the "point" itself.

        And I'll have to give you the benefit of the doubt on this willy nilly behavior I guess. Personally, I've never had a perm in my life so I can say that I'd never get a relaxer just for kicks w/o deep consideration. On the other hand, I have many friends who ditched the perm when they started college. And none of them did it for shallow or petty reasons either. They were all concerned with their health and sense of self I accept that you may know women that are the opposite. I think the key word in your comment here is "some". Please don't lump us all into that narrow category.

      • Alexis

        Many Black men still seem to believe the myth that our hair takes years to grow back. Thats he "fear" that they seem o have when actually it grows back pretty fast when natural. Just look at how many haircuts a black man gets a year. Yes we should let someone know before we make that dramatic change, but if she wants to be free, let her be. The creamy crack needs to go.

  • jabriel

    #'s 1,, 2, 3, and 9 are dead on! I can't tell you how many women start complaining before the date even begins…and its always the girl who thinks she's too good for everything!! I deserve the world, yet I have no degree, no social skills, am 5lbs away from a booty-do, and an attitude that makes people look forward to her farts!

  • Eddie Brock

    Meh, nothing to add today. Just logging on to ogle Sane and Seven again….. :0P

    • Seven

      lol…hello Eddie

    • SaneN85

      LMAO. Not exactly what I was going for with the picture thing, but I'm glad you stopped by and am flattered I was part of the reason.

  • Jupiter Calhoun, hot

    I've got one. Flaky / unreliable women.

    We make plans to meet up and you don't show because "your girl called" or you got in that smoke or you just forgot. And you want me to commit to you? Pfft! I need you to commit to a lunch date.

    My time is too valuable. I can be hustling or meeting with someone who's got it together. Flaking out is strictly amateur hour. It's 2010. Your phone can keep your life straight for you. Not a good look.

  • Pingback: Ten Things Men Wish You Did | Single Black Male()

  • Pingback: 10 Things Men Find Unattractive in Women(But Probably Won’t Tell You) « Rey Talks Online Magazine()

  • http://watchgleeonlinefree.com/ Miles Sisto

    glee is awesome especially when you can watch the episodes for free aha

  • Shekeisha

    Wow. So basically…you won't like a self-respecting woman but a ho that sips liquor, lets you waste her time, and has nothing important to say is right up your alley.

  • MizQueen

    lolz at going natural and random hair cut.. whats wrong with being what God made you?

  • Xavier

    Under excessively drunk, there should also be included the women who can't leave the house unless she's high on weed. I have a friend who can't go out unless she's high, and it makes her look so unattractive. Most of the time she looks like she is drunk but she doesn't see it that way.

  • Kaycee

    I think you missed one…men can't stand a woman who are actually "Right"…lol

  • http://www.nothingwebsite.com Nickolas Leichner

    Thanks for your great article! It has been very insightful. I wish that you will continue posting your wisdom with us.

  • NaijaSweetz

    lol. I was doing well until I hit #6. Witchya hatin' ass.

  • Rod

    Glad someone finally noticed and said something. Thought I was alone on these.

    SBM

  • Rod

    Forgot to mention that I seem to draw nothing but 3, 4, 5, 7 & 9's constantly. Dang, can a brotha get someone who hasn't subscribed to the hype? Just gimme the good sh*t without the B-sh*t.

  • Shannon

    If these are the things that drive men away, why am I single? lol

    Maybe it the short hair "go natural" thing. That's the only thing on the list I'm guilty of…

  • Sexyshorthair

    And another thing, long hair doesn't make a woman sexy, I rock a mean Kobe fro and men break their necks when I pass by:)

  • Cutiebae

    Damn y'all so mean!!!:/.. Lol I'm 15 and this is some hard cruel shit!:p, ? Wt about the men 10 come on ladies!!!?:*

  • Mary

    Call me old fashioned, but if a man is important to a woman, why not respect his feelings and give him a heads up about a drastic hairdo change? If a guy were going to get very visible tattoos, his lady would probably like to be forewarned.

  • http://www.twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

    Wow, this is a list of young women. Most of us (I'm hoping) grow out of some of these things. I'm a know it all, hands down. The only difference is back then I didn't have a filter, now I've learned to just keep it to myself when necessary. I'm still a know it all in my mind though. Btw, NEVER say anything bad about short hair or naps. I learned that lesson on VSB. Sistas get CRAZY mad. You won't win. I personally think mini fros aren't attractive on women. The only time it looked good to me was when the woman was mega pretty…even then, longer hair looks better. I'm biased though. I think women just need to realize that not everybody is going to appreciate their look. There's no such thing as universal anything. Everyone has a preference.

    • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

      I guess the examples I gave made you think I was talking about younger women, but in reality, these women in my mind are ages 25-40. The fact of the matter is that when these women are young, men don't find it unattractive because they don't expect anything more out of them. As women get older the childish and immature behavior becomes unattractive. But even still take for example, Negative Women, we all know some women who are 25-35-45-55-65 and older and still very much negative women.

      • Vee

        I totally agree with this, though I have the same problem with my male friends so I don't think it's gender specific. It just wears me out though! There's something wrong with EVERYTHING. I just keep wondering, wouldn't it be so much easier to just think positively?

  • Vee

    About the hair… My SO likes if I keep it somewhat long, and since I personally have no preference whatsoever (as long as it's easy to maintain) I keep it long-ish. BUT I once tried to trick him by wearing a wig and taking a picture of me with a drastically different hair colour, and very short hair (not bald, just short), and he was like "oh you did something to your hair", completely fine with it. I was expecting him to be upset!! But no. Nothing. I think I have more of a problem with him cutting his hair short, I always ask him to postpone going to the barber and to not cut it too short… So it can go both ways :). Bottom line though, if I want to cut it short/dye it/whatever, I will. I'd never be with a man who doesn't accept that.

  • Mukele

    if she is perfect, u accept everything

  • Highly Energetic

    Ten things that i personally hate that men do and i wont tell you. I will become the tens things you hate if i see one of these actions.

    #1. A man that i can tell that i can f**k at the first contact.

    #2. A man who acts like he is a baller and is not. I rather date the guy who tells me he is not.

    #3 A man who has no confidence and has no conversation

    #4 A boy who thinks he is a man. Wake up, real men do real men stuff, they dont sleep around and r ready to be married at all times, and dont play games, boys are always running around cant be content with what they have.

    #5 A man that have too many women around him because he thinks that it makes him look more wanted or golden. I rather deal with the man no one is afta, the underdog, whos attention could never be distracted , because i dont compete my man knows he wont have to and i will expect to not compete either

    #6 A man that thinks,negative only about women, and does not understand: women r not suppose to be sitting around angry and mad if they r really content and happy

    with themselves and love men.

    #7 Men who say bad is good and good is bad. for example I hit you and treat you wrong because i love you or i lie because i love you, thats abuse all i want to hear is positive affirmations

    #8 A man who dont want to be a man. That dont mean you have to finnancially do everything but be creative if you dont have much, but allow me to feel loved, wanted and a lady.

    #9 A man that does not understands that not all women do not know how to be ladies and being able to be a . man and teach her if she is open to you and you love her, because most women especially black women had no father to guide them and was hated and abused by there mommas

    #10. A man that has no patience, love, meekness, longsuffering, empathy, charity, or forgiveness and brings to much baggage into a relationship and treats women wrong because he has been hurt. This kind of man is not suppose to be having sex he is to young.

    • velveteen

      Most women had no father to guide them and was hated and abused by there mommas?? Why on earth do you think that? Yes it's true in the US for more black women than those of other races but that assumption in general is wrong.

      Also, if a woman "doesn't know how to be a lady"….well, the last thing she needs is a *man* to teach her. That's just sad.

  • Bambieyes

    Honesty is one of the main ingredients that preserves any relationship, and I'd want to know what turns my man off. And, I should be willing to listen without defending that behavior. I see this article as an objective opinion of one man and not the opinion of every man. If we didn't want to understand men better, then we wouldn't be reading this article. Right? At least be willing to listen to his advice, because it could explain why certain women aren't dating, can't keep get, or keep, the attention of a man they're attracted to. A major problem with black men and women is the inability to listen to each other and that saddens me. And, to make it worse, we have the most unleveled playing field of ANY race in the world. Something has to give.

  • @Top5DOA

    I'll add to the list:

    11. Bad Hygiene …After sex, use the restroom woman … Oh and it'd be nice if you brushed ur teeth properly and flossed. And not taking showers daily is nasty. Also know ur body, if you're excessively juicy in the box, more than likely you'll have an excessive odor down there, so be cognizant.

    12. Super-matching … Stop it. Your earrings don't have to match ur bracelet that matches your shirt that matches your shoes that matches your purse … You look dumb for real.

    13. Gossip/Media Take out Woman … Self-explanatory

    14. Planning ish over 2 months from now … Trust me, you may hate me after next week, so yeah … spare me

    15. WE HATE YOUR WIGS!!!

    16. Being overly emotional in your statuses via social network. I see women everyday spilling their hearts out on fb or Twitter and I only think that if i ever talked to her and it didn't work out, i'll be the topic of her statuses. Very unbecoming.

    That's all i got for now.

  • http://prutledge.wordpress.com MzJuici

    Yeah uhhhh I laughed, really I did, all the way up to #6…Brothas have to start getting down with the natural movement. SERIOUSLY. Because more important than having long hair down your back that you had to pay for is feeling naturally beautiful in your skin as a Black woman. And that type of beauty, no man can resist!

  • http://abookof40.blogspot.com Solar 40

    Great post!! After reading your list I find that I don't do any of those things as a female and even though I am in a great relationship now, I have never had problems finding great guys in the past as they always tell me I have great characteristics and am a little different than the average female. Growing up in the house with 2 other brothers and my dad, they always told me what guys hate and as I got older I never did those things, so I have them to thank:) Again great post!

  • Lila

    It's attention whores, not attention hordes (No. 9.)

    Reminds me of http://dumbesttweets.com/

    lol, I can't.

    • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

      @Lila:

      No it's horde. An attention horde is someone who hordes attention meaning they need to have all the attention on them. An attention whore is someone who will do anything for attention.

      Now that reminds me of dumbesttweets.com/

      lol, yes we can.

      • Lila

        Hah! just saw this. Wooow, you're really sticking with it huh? LOL!

        I really like your blog, but on this I'm afraid you're really wrong. Google is your friend :)

        • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

          You're wilding b. I'm not wrong, i'm actually very correct. Google is your friend, get all the way out of here with that. I just explained it to you too. You are one of those people who just has to be right all the time. Admit it, we're talking about two different things. You have your term and there is another term. You're the type of person who keeps telling people from NYC that they're mispronouncing Houston.

          Sorry for the rant, but you really could have just let it go.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/Nodeadweight Cheeky

        ….wouldn't the correct word be "hoard"? As in "hoarding attention" like one "hoards treasure"?

        Just asking :) I fully understand your explanation.

        (A horde is a large group of people)

        • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

          Cheeky, you're right. I got so caught up in this argument, I didn't even realize I was talking about the wrong thing.

        • https://twitter.com/#!/Nodeadweight Cheeky

          I'm just surprised no one else noticed! It's nice that you can admit if you're wrong about something. I thought I was being a "Ms. Know It All" lol ;)

        • velveteen

          Oh, I noticed. Then I saw the reply that was even dumber!!! Even if "Dr. J" knew the difference between the words "horde" and "hoard", there is really no such thing as an "attention hoard"…..hahaha.

          My pet peeve…MEN who think they know it all trying to tell SMART WOMEN that we're wrong when we correct them, and show themselves to be even MORE wrong with their answer!! Though it does make me laugh hysterically!!

  • http://jamesunder900.ecrater.com James Is An Atlanta

    If a man who has a girlfriend or wife has issues with things she does, then that lets you know he's still interested in her, or he's looking for a way out of the relationship or marriage.

    Men I do feel that if a woman is good enough to lay down with, then apparently what her faults were to you didn't really matter at all. A woman doesn't need any man to tell her what makes her unattractive to him, because she already knows in most cases, so she doesn't need to be reminded by a man.

    As the old saying goes "IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE HEAT, GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN" and I will add this new line to this statement as well: "IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE WOMAN YOU KEEP LAYING UP WITH, STAY AWAY FROM HER SEXUAL ORGANS AS WELL."

  • Jojo

    GREAT post ! The only thing I would add is I HATE when women complain. It's one thing to give constructive criticism but some women just complain about EVERYTHING for no valid reason !!! That is so annoying especially when they are not offering a solution!

  • Suee

    Men hate things about women. Women hate things about men. Get over it. No ones perfect.

  • Val

    I thing many AA would have better experiences with the opposite sex (and in life in general) if we would JUST RECOGNIZE the class stratas in our race ~~~>>we can't take EVERYBODY with us yall;)

    Men complain about ghetto women, women complain about lazy, don't-want-nothing men…You're dealing with the WRONG class of people my friend….

    BUT then there is still the problem of people thinking they're in a class they're NOT in….if most of the women you meet are "unpolished"…it's cuz you are "unpolished"….plain and simple!

  • http://JustGQ.com Just GQ

    The Overestimater – This is the chick that thinks she an 11 when she's really 6.43. She is the one most likely to clown a dude trying to talk to her bc she thinks she needs the dopest dude in the club, BUT she gets clowned in the club bc she. is. wack.

  • Nesi C

    I actually agree with everything on the list except for the fact you used the title/word "women/woman". these arent women that you are describing these are adult age adolescents. I do send my condolences that these are the type of females that you men have gotten into situations with however a mature female/adult/woman handles certain situations with class and self control.

  • Fernando

    I'd like to add one: No Accountability. The woman who always responds, "Well, what about what men do?" or, "We were both equally wrong" instead of just acknowledging/accepting her own contribution to the problem. I have read numerous responses like that to the original post. There will undoubtedly be responses of that sort to this post.

  • Fernando

    I have another one: The Competitor: The woman who feels that she must make it her life's goal to ensure that EVERY man she meets must know that she is either equal to or BETTER than him. And as many men later discover about her, that this is just another area in which she is delusional because most men don't feel as if they are in competition with a/their woman. When I encounter women like this I think it's pretty humorous and to save a pointless argument, I hold my tongue and just…fix their problem that they created. ;)

  • steez365

    #real talk

  • http://musicnerdery.com Ericka

    reading number 6 is real disappointing. good to know you still hold us to European standards for hair. if a woman wants to wear her hair natural or go for a shorter look, a real man will see past such frivolous physical traits and let a woman wear her hair as god gave it to her.

    really sad.

    • Dr. J

      Ericka,
      Thanks for your comment. I'm not sure you read the other comments, but you are misunderstanding the post. The point was not that she cuts her hair short or goes natural, it's the fact that while she's with her man, she does so unexpectedly. It has nothing to do with her attempt to go natural, it's a power dynamic thing. That's why it's unattractive because Black women sometimes have a tendency to use their hair as power. Almost to say, "You can't tell me what to do with my hair, you have to put up with it, or bounce." That's unattractive. I don't want to tell you how to wear your hair, but I would appreciate a heads up and opportunity to give my opinion. Heaven forbid, a man doesn't give a woman her chance to share thoughts, the world would cease to exist.

      • D_Man

        This is why the article is titled: …But Won't Tell You, because he knows how much flak he will get if he does mention it. The thing that people aren't getting, is that it is an attraction thing too. Its not like he doesn't want you to be healthy (or at least he shouldn't want you unhealthy..if so..then bounce anyway). But that while you began dating, your hair may have been a part of the attraction. If he really liked that look on you (and he doesn't neccesarily find your current hairstyle attractive) doesn't he have the right to express that (he does but he probably won't, especially seeing how heated this topic has become on #6).

  • Kharis

    Nirvana Reference!! That's what I liked the most.

  • https://www.facebook.com/neverasgoodasthefirsttime Ashanti Gardner

    please excuse my typos.-lol

  • https://www.facebook.com/neverasgoodasthefirsttime Ashanti Gardner

    Number 6 – one word: Europeanized. Sounds like a hit on natural and short hair. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Ladies do not be discouraged by these comments regarding hair. If anyone breaks up because you went from long to short or whatever, then he or she wasn't with you for the right reasons. If the haircut or hairstyle looks bad, there are sensitive ways to handle those issues without breaking up with someone. We are adults to let us be adults.

  • Pingback: Ten Things Men Find Unattractive in Women But Probably Won’t Tell You | UdokaAnugwo()

  • Naja

    Okay…I'm GLAD women (even though this is for men) are disagreeing with #6. I was a bit offended by that one. Especially because my hair no longer looks like how it does in the picture. I'm one of those who went from middle of my back hair to rocking a kobe fro. And i'm STILL sexy! I see nothing wrong with me going back to wearing a fro and no longer damaging and straightening my hair.

  • Pingback: 10 things men hate about women - Smooth Teddy()

    • eric

      Some black women can’t figure it out. You are losing the war on terrorism. Loud and argumentative. Better yet just google “why i sold out”…then some of you may get it..or maybe not. DISCLAIMER…this is not for all black women..just the knuckleheads…you know who you are.

  • http://goddessrambles.tumblr.com/ Gracie

    I guess this list is one man’s version of what he wants in his ideal woman. Impatience is seen by some to be so because they don’t realize how much women have to do to be the perfect that you are looking for. if we want you to call us when you get to the restaurant so that we can leave out house is, IMHO, an attempt to make sure you see the complete package when we walk into the restaurant. what more should you expect when you insist on perfection.

    i got one word for you regarding the hair…(well maybe more than that)

    leave my damn hair alone. i can understand if you dropped a few bills on a new weave and i decide to put a bowl on it and go Three Stooges on you, but if i decide that the chemical relaxers and getting burned by the flatiron and sweating out my perm under a wig is not going to work for you, then get to steppin’.

    many of these attributes are due to women not knowing who they are and men no knowing what they really want in a woman. we have a right to be bitchy and loud and gregarious due to the fact that we are trying to hard to be something we are not. are we wrong? absolutely. is it attractive? hell to the nawl. can we change the way men view us? we tried that and feminism got a lot of door slammed in our faces.

    i still believe that open and honest communication is the key.

    cutting your hair? talk to your man. don’t surprise him because you know he is going to drop a bomb on you about what it looks like TO HIM simply because he was not aware it was coming. will he regret what he said later? yeah, but it is an honest reaction to a big change in the woman he is dating. same goes for women maybe not hanging out for conversation in loud bars and club. go to an adult club (believe me, they are out there.)

    *sigh* yeah i am rambling but i have to say from the perspective of the awkward black girl who i am, men are few and far between who accept me as i am AND make the choice not to be bent out of shape that i am not societies norm.

    Inda Irie said it best … “I’m not your average girl from the video”

    goddess

    • Ross

      Male or female, temper tantrums are for 2 year olds, not adults. And even 2 year olds get reprimanded to not tantrum, so they can grow to be well composed adults.

  • nat

    Lol @ #DIQUE…this hit home to every Dominican reading this

  • Abeni

    Why is almost every complaint in reference to a woman in the club or outside the club? If you're spending that much time at the club you obviously have no woman, so tell me who deemed you an expert on women? Furthermore, any man who can't respect or appreciate a woman's natural beauty is extremely insecure and most likely a homosexual.

  • Ross

    I've met men who do the exact same things listed.

  • DP ACTION

    I'm a white dude in OZ, and I married a black chick.
    She's given me two wonderful children, but god damn she's the devil.
    She spends all my money, is super aggressive and is a bitch.
    I want to fire her out of a cannon, yet I wouldn't even know how to make the flint for one.
    I love her but, black women are the worst women on the planet.

    • velveteen

      So she does these things because she's black? Wow, thanks for letting us know!! I wonder why all black women don't do all those same things then….but it does explain why white, asian, hispanic and indian women NEVER do any of them.

      facepalm…..

  • Pingback: Ten Things Men Find Unattractive in Women But Probably Won’t Tell YouNosy Rosy | Nosy Rosy()

  • http://seo seo

    Everyone loves what you guys are usually up too. This sort of clever work and coverage! Keep up the awesome works guys I’ve included you guys to my own blogroll.

  • GrayingwithStyle

    As an outsider looking in (white female married to native man) I am a little surprised not in the importance of hair for African American women because of the historical and societal implications that surround it, but more of the power given (or need to defend its non-existence) to men to be involved, informed and/or opinionated about their "life partner's" hair. For myself, and I would assume most of my non-black friends, that this is a non issue. While I understand that women with straight hair have not faced the same judgements about our worth and looks based on it's texture we certainly do face them regarding color, length, style etc. That being said, I would NEVER ask my husband of ten years if I could change my own body, just as I would never assume ownership or influence on his body. With the exception to his health (cigarettes, obesity etc) the manner he chooses to represent himself AND our family in is his own…as is mine. This is what makes us a strong family. Our son has very curly and what I would call poofy hair which is not typical of either my german descent or my husband's native decent but he wanted to grow it out. Even my "high and tight" military husband went with the flow. Why? Because this shows not only our family members respect, but it shows ourselves and the community at large our security and strength. I am at this moment allowing my hair to gray out (yep…33 and almost fully gray). I didn't ask for my husband opinion and he knows better than to share one if he does not like it. What he does like, and what truly shows me the security of my man, is that he is MORE attracted to me when I like the way I look…regardless of his opinion on my style choices. My hope is not to express judgment or a self-esteem superiority but a hope for more female support and camaraderie amongst women of all hair (and skin) types and would love to hear thoughts on why this (hair of women) may have different importance to the men of varying cultures. …As a side note, the woman who discussed the value in a more natural and God supporting look…I applaud you. All women of any color should hear that message more often. :-)

  • http://afriendofthecourt.blogspot.com/ amicus

    I totally agree. I try not to do these things, and my inner SAN (silently apologetic negro) comes out when other black women do them. To me, most of these things just make a women look unfeminine. The EXCEPTION——> #6. I've been the victim of a bad perm, the hair was on it's way out anyway so I had to cut it. #noshamethere
    My recent post The Angry Black Woman: Don't be Mad

  • bill

    I couldn’t wait to update you on what has happened. I requested the absolute good luck money spell be cast only last Thursday. Over the weekend I found $100.00 laying on the ground outside my apartment, purchased a lotto ticket and won $10,000 from that and won a new car from a sweepstakes! To top it off, I went into work on Monday and got the promotion I had been wanting! I could not believe how fast your spells work. I will certainly recommend Seductive Spells to any of my friends.thanks powerful kumar([email protected])

  • jenna

    I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all your staff DR.Gboco.([email protected]) You really helped me through what I think was the most difficult time of my life. Your kindness and caring goes way beyond the products you sell.and I hope that I will someday meet you. You will always be in my prayers and I will never forget what you have done for me.

  • Sara

    And I was like, What the hell? woman do this ? I do nothing of those. And then I realized its a black website. Now I understand. lol.

  • https://www.facebook.com/mishy.wardell Mishy Wardell

    6) Are you kidding me? That's so antiquated, and downright insulting to sistahs! Then again, you probably diss sistahs anyway. And you know what women hate? Men who can't use punctuation and grammar! That would be you….

  • Marz

    but if she's really beautiful you would deal with them all.

  • http://www.formvote.com/ question to people

    tHAT'S TRUE!!!
    Thanks for the tipss :)

  • jackson999

    Sadly, My girlfriend and me broke up a month ago. yeah.. i'm young ,handsome,lonely and still hurting.i may be in need of someone to love..still..My friends told me about cougarkissing_ C0M and i got curious about it.. they met their girlfriends there.,It's the best place to meet a older girlfriend . i cant risk myself..So i got a usename(Qcdude) there in order to find a new girlfriend .Is it wrong?Jessica Simpson is fighting the battle of the post-baby bulge, a process she says is slower than she expected.

  • Pingback: [Sex! Love & Heartache Chronicles!] 10 Things Men Find Unattractive In Women & Probably Won’t Tell You…But We Will! | Z 107.9()

  • Jint

    I don't like impatient people, so I must be a man in woman's body. Lol.

  • http://www.opinionatedmale.com cortonio

    women who don't take care of their kids a SUPER turn off…if you're laced and your kids are raggedy looking. no bueno. If your hair os constantly done and your daughters/son's hair looks like "who did it and why" or their braids are waaaayyy overdue. no bueno. If she constantly HAS to go out and stays dropping the kids off treating the grandma like a mother. no bueno.

  • yoyoyo

    all 10 were wack

  • toyinaluko

    Great Post Dr. J, you really hit the nail. Other things like those ones you share are unhealthy body odor, when a woman is too arrogant and difficult to control, etc.

  • Natalie

    See, I'm a woman who doesn't get out much…I understand the "people who are late," part personally…however, that problem has changed within me the past few years because I decided to have a habit of being late, and now I get it….so fuck it. I have no want to drink, I have no want to go "party," I have no want to be a socialite anymore, because getting to know myself makes me know other people…and if I'm more than a handful myself, why the hell would I want ten tons of other people's shit on top of my own – I already did that…only to run from my own shit. So, reading this is just helping me get to know and remember the behaviors of those I use to hang out with and be like, can't believe nothing's changed in years……….oh wait, yes, yes I can.

  • finn

    Congratulations on writing one of the most incredibly stupid articles that I've ever read on the internet.

  • Harrison

    Interesting read and comments. I don’t see why #6 is such a big deal…it’s only hair, NOT a character flaw. I’ve dated sisters with bald, short, medium and long hair styles–it’s her personality and character that matters more to me!! Hair is but an attribute/extension (pun intended) of physical attraction. As long as a woman has a look she adores, be it natural or processed, who am I to tell her how she should rock her hair (or lack of it). If she’s happy, I’m happy.

  • ritta

    Mysogynist!

  • Yup

    I understand that wrong hair cut or style can be a very big turned off. Especially if that style is not groomed. But what about these black men claiming they wanted women with natural hair 4or 5 years ago? Come on now. Black women have awkward hair. It's not as easy for us to sport the latest styles as it is for white or latino women. Give us a break with the hair.

  • Aminah

    grr #1 ok I get that drunk women are irritating but no more so than drunk men. the statement "what mans is this" … excuse me? I am not a "this" nor am I a mans "this", I am no mans, I am my own.
    #2 ok drunk people talk loud. people in a club talk loud. so take your pompous ass out of the club and stop talking to drunk women in clubs, stupid.
    #3 negative women? hello kettle, meat pot. case rested.
    #4 was unaware cavities were caused my creating an influx of air between your lips but wow, ill keep that in mind. Meanwhile if you dislike a woman who is this way WHY ARE YOU around so many? introduce yourself to a mirror …
    #5 so they didnt come to dance? and? what is it to you? cant they just "be" without your ignorant so called social assessment? now if they were to participate, get drunk and talk loud you would call them on that too. poor you for being around such lower life forms.
    #6 i cant even … my hair is my hair. i own it, either i grew or i bought it but either way the hair is MINE and i can do with it as i see fit. I can understand the shock or a drastic hair cut but again, its mine boo boo. If you do not like my natural hair then you do not the natural me. why should any woman be fake to please your ignorant ass?
    #7 umm ok I agree lying is bad but the worse kind of lie you can come up with is that she bought some knock offs? really? wow what a trollop! If you are entertaining her hating friend on ANY LEVEL that makes you a trifling SOB … next.
    #8 again I get that know it alls are a pain in the arse, but maybe she just did not need your so called advice. maybe it is not so much that she is a know it all as it is that you are a pompous ass?
    #9 i am not sure what an attention horde is … attention whore i get but maybe you were smart enough not to use "that" word. I, again, get that these kind of people can be irritating but you know what you can do? leave. get your debbie downer ass up and leave, do not give her the attention, learn to focus on you and what you got going on instead of what those you are clearly not interested in are doing. oh … was i being a know it all?
    #10 if you are the kind of man that a woman thinks she can break stuff in your house then that is a reflection on YOU more than it is on her. if you were half the man you think you are the situation would not come to that and if it did she would know full well not to fuck with your stuff or you, but i guess you dont know how to be a "presence" in your own domicile. that sucks boo boo. really, it does. and any man that would put a woman out at a rest area is a criminal. would you be ok with your mother or sister being put out at a rest area because they were upset? and probably with good reason to be upset? … handle your business like a man not a punk.

    over all the author sounds bitter and it sounds like he would rather rant about the women he does not like instead of removing himself from those situations entirely. You find what you look for and you attract what you are.

    • alliyah rios

      Yeah and thank you for your insight i couldn’t have said it better bless you

  • Kat

    The title says it all…”singleblackman” for a reason. Most of you guys have way too many pet peeves it’s funny. You want someone to look like Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian and Coco but you want her to cook soul food, wear braids, let you hang out with the boys but you give her all these stipulations.

    And the natural hair comment!? That was totally intended for a black woman I don’t care what anyone else on here says. We take enough slaps as black women as far as what you black men say we are not measuring up to. It’s gotten out of hand. I guess since I’m stating my opinion then most of you guys would say “I have an attitude”. Whatever lol!

    Its wonderful to have standards but most black men just need to give it a rest already. Jeesh! Get over yourselves! Your not the end all be all of men…

  • http://www.azuniv.org/ 超歓迎 2013

    I’m really impressed along with your writing abilities as smartly
    as with the structure for your weblog. Is this a paid subject or did you modify it
    yourself? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it
    is rare to look a great weblog like this one nowadays..

  • http://fprfilms.com Robert B. Faller

    Wow, awesome blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site
    is magnificent, as well as the content!

  • http://qrts.net Sherry J. Phillips

    Hello! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d
    ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest writing a blog post or vice-versa?
    My blog goes over a lot of the same subjects as yours and I feel we could greatly
    benefit from each other. If you are interested feel free to
    send me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you!

    Excellent blog by the way!

  • http://jniceonthemic.com JNice on the Mic

    Where is the "Things WOMEN find unattractive about men list" lol
    My recent post I Want a Love Like Beyonce and Jay-Z

  • http://wastefulphiloso13.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/3-huge-main-reasons-organic-skin-care-is-actually-the-better-option/ skin care tips

    They moisturize and make your skin more younger looking without the harmful effect.
    The masks is definitely great for supplying the skin with its essential
    vitamins, minerals, and nutrients. Men tend to have oilier skin than
    women so it’s important to clear out the dirt and grime embedded
    in the pores regularly.