If I take one more drink...
Urban legends about the sexual experience are as old as time. Ever since Adam tasted Eve’s apple, there have been myths and embellished stories that float around the world about sex. The worse part is some people still believe a lot of these myths! Me being, the man that I am, I decided to post a few common sex swindles that I’ve heard in my lifetime:
Motion in the Ocean > Size
After reading a rack1 of comments by women readers, and from female friends, I can say that this is 50/50. Some women are content with a hung dude and want to do all the work. others don’t care if you’re packin like a 1st grader, as long as you know how to work it. Maybe its my ego, but something in the motion assessment screams #swindle. Maybe these endowment deficient dudes are doing more than the pumps and the bumps to satisfy their partners, and attain a social promotion to a PH.D in Orgasmic Engineering. They say size matters, I think it’s at least 75% correct. Women is size no biggie?
All Church Women Are Freaks
This is 100% Accurate mostly true, but I think this is sensationalized. The numbers are skewed because we expect “church girls” to be prim proper and tighter than Precious squeezing into a size 4. When the reality hits, it’s a dual “Oh Sh*t” effect, similar to when Ques actually step to win shows and NOT for the bruhs (and the team is tight). So I think we need to get the “Church Freak” idea out of our minds and take it case by case with no bias.
Shoe/Hand Size = THAT Size
Uninterested lady: What size are your shoes?
Simp: 14.5
UL: Damn yo feet big
Simp: You know what they say about guys with big feet right? *Smile
UL: They wear big shoes?
Simp: Uhhh…Yeah how’d you know? *Dies on the inside**
This theory was always stupid to me. All them big feeted negroes walkin around hella2 confident when their chicks is spreading rumors about them being a short man. I don’t know where this #swindle originated, but ladies who perpetuate this or get hyped when they see a dude with Mutombo hands or Shaq feet better pump the brakes and B.E.Z. because you may experience a rude awakening. I’m sure this started as a joke, but some simps still believe this in 2010. Smh.
Crazy Pum Pum is the BEST Pum Pum
Something about a Taraiji P type woman screaming bloody murder at you, or a woman who you know is a lil off serves as an aphrodesiac to some men. It’s like they channel their inner mental case and convert that energy into sexual eruptions of pleasure! This will be why some dudes will be with the weirdest, craziest, psycho women and you have no clue why. I label this term, Baduism (See Andre 3K and Common for further clarification). Explore this at your own risk fellas.
Caribbean men don’t eat the cooch
I apologize for blowin you up, my island brethren, but this is straight propaganda! How many times have I heard “Bad Mon don’t av tuh eat nuh bloodclot pum pum!” knowing dudes is suicide diving in the life giver tongue first! #cmonson!! Dudes need to be grown in 2010 and admit to being cunning in bed. You just look like a rookie saying those things. Seriously, that term is sooo 1981. We can’t legitimately be upset with women who don’t go down if we not tryin to either right?
Alcohol enhances sexual experience
“When the Henny’s in your system, aint NO tellin..” – Now, while I do enjoy the nicknames of “Patron Ewing” and “Henny Hardaway”, I can say that this #swindle is hit or miss. There have been times where I felt like a champyon luva SHABBA! when intoxicated, but that may not always translate to the bedroom. For one, I’ve heard too many “60 second assassin” stories from dudes who had too much Courvoisier before doing the do. Now my question is, if a female is tipsy/wasted/inebriated, is the experience good no matter what? Because if so, some of you dudes can quit the Viagra subscriptions and invest in Svedka! Now I heard sex on Ecstasy is like poppin V.I.P. bottles with Jesus in Love, but I will NEVER test that theory/ None of that for me mam!
If you can dance, you can fcuk
This is a fallacy both in the positive and negative. I know women who would make Ciara, Janet, and your favorite stripper dancer blush, and were lame ducks in the sack. I also know women who will rock your world between the sheets and make you cringe on the dance floor. I feel victim to this dance swindle before, and it still boggles my mind. You can put you’re legs behind your neck and do the entire breakdown in Rhythm Nation, but can’t even get a 653 on a sexual seduction exam? Crazy!
SBM Community… what myths have you heard? Am I wiling with the above? Help a reggin out!
1: DC slang for “Many” or “a bunch”
2: Cali slang which translates to “mad” in East Coast slang
3: The passing grade for NYC schools
I can attest that the Carribbean men most definitely eat the cooch! Best I ever had!
As a Cali resident, I just had to say LMAO at your having to explain "hella" in the footnotes. … do people not use that term everywhere? I didn't know. smh. lol
LOL Are you from NorCal? B/c we don't really say that as much down here in SoCal. I hear some teens using it now as an after affect of the hyphy movement trickling down. I remember my cousins from Sac saying "hella" and looking at them crazy, lol.
I think it's a N Cali thing. Way before Hyphy though–not about to date myself–but since M.C. Hammer's reign we said hecka & hella.
Was Hecka for the ppl who couldnt curse lol?
Yeah, we could say it freely.
SoCal uses Hella/Hecka as much as NoCal.
I dont know if they're still saying "rack" in DC
Nope, I'm from Long Beach… and we def say hella. We got the hyphy movement late LOL but we're still on it. *scratches head* maybe it's a lb thing then
I know it's been said up here (Washington) for almost as long as I can remember. Since the Navy has a big presence up here, I'm constantly meeting folks who tell me that we're the only people who say that word. *shrugs*
Pretty sure I've never heard "hecka" in my life until 11:23 AM EST 04.14.10 LOL!!!!!!!
Isn't Hecka like 1/1000th or something like that. Sounds like the H in "King Henry Died Drinking Chocolate Milk"… lol.
LOL too funny! Midwest here and I've said "hecka" for as long as I can remember!
Yes Most…you're right once again.
Yep, people up here use both hella and hecka. The latter just amuses me though.
Eddie, nice pic. I'm glad your computer and gravatar.com made up.
We are all so enlightened today! We added to your grammar Eddie, and Most…I never heard the King Henry bit until my 4th grader learned the metric system last week.
I say hella now because I have a few cali friends–and they are all from the bay area too, funny.
I'm from THE BAY (East Oakland to be exact, Foothill and 98th to be more exact) and I am so glad that you put hella in here. I say it all the time it works for everything! Hecka is what I used in middle school cause I couldn't curse lol.
This is a great list and on point! Size definitely doesn't matter, it's all about the movies and the alchie does put an extra on the whole experience.
Thanks for clarifying those slang terms Streetz! Good Lookin out. lol
Size does indeed matter to some degree….but if you can put it down in the bedroom with whatever you workin wit' Im good.
Alcohol may make you more uninhibited..but, for a woman it really doesn't affect pleasure..it can have an adverse affect on men though..in the long term.
The dancin' and prowess in the bedroom..unfortunately doesn't hold much weight…I to have experienced the utter dissapointment…you would think a stripper could F*ck but no such luck…lol
I can't speak on the crazy pum pum..or the church women are freaks….ya'll fellas can handle that.
Strippers? Male or female? (pleasebefemalepleasebefemale)
you know u gotta elaborate!
..sorry to dissapoint but it was a male stripper. I am strickly D*ckly! LOL.
LOL…
soo…umm what happened?
O Word. We sleeping with strippers now and holding back the stories?!??!
All we want to know is where did you meet this stripper and why did you end up giving up the buns. Spare us the detail about how he danced please.
OMG! Really!? Okay….
When we first met I didn't know he was a stripper…I met him on the humble. I was just out and about…I found out later…. checked out one of his shows BEFORE we became intimate…lets just say, he was good at his job (ya'll said no details so I won't go there – lol) needless to say the ladies loved him…..BUT, me, not so much….the s*x was wack..he was doing too much….the overall experience was just dissapointing…..flexibility, rythym and good show doesn not translate…at least not that time…enuff said..lol.
..Oh, not that ya'll care or it matters…Stripper dude and I are outta dc/md area…which is where I am from.
@Queen did you say ur outta DC/MD?
Dr Jay Jack… r u pondering what EYEm pondering?!
Size – I think women need a minimum size. After that it doesn't matter. I think what women want men to know is that you don't need a porn star d**k to please them.
Foot Size = D Size – D size does not correlate with any other part of the body. It's just random. Like having big ears or a big nose. You can be any size or weight and have big ears or a big nose. That's how D size is. It's an independent variable.
Crazy Pum – Crazy Pum usually is good. I mean it depends on what kind of crazy you talkin about. But usually crazy chicks are uninhibited.
Alcohol – Some females are better with a little alcohol in the system. They need it to let their guard down and get freaky.
Church girls – I really wouldn't know. I haven't f***ed many church girls. I usually prefer the crazy chick
In my past at least.
Good Dancing = Good Lay – I can't really say. I don't really eff women I meet in clubs. I go to clubs to hear music and dance. But I would think most women that can dance can f**k. I don't know how yall dance in the clubs yall go to but what we was doin in the Go Go when I was comin up was basically f**kin wit your clothes on.
Alcohol is the liquid bedroom equalizer. No doubt about it. It only becomes an issue when someone has one too many and ends up with a case of the noodles (see whiskey d*ck).
What's there to say about shy , quiet girls ?
I have met some shy, quiet girls who got in the bedroom and turned into the truth.com ad.
I know some shy, quiet girls who got in the bedroom and were stiff as a board.
Here's where alcohol comes into play.
One question… how da hell is 65 passing in NYC? When I was in grade school, a 65 got you a big fat F. Times have changed….
Now on to the topic… in no particular order.
1. The only guy I've ever dated who didn't give face was a Jamaican man. smh… such a waste.
2. A little alcohol makes me a little frisky, and can make the s*x enjoyable. But if I'm completely wasted, I'm not trying to have s*x, and I will press charges. Unlike Ben's accuser, I can't be bought.
3. Size does matter… that is all.
4. I think preachers' kids are the biggest freak, male or female. One of the fastest girls I knew in HS was a the daughter of a preacher.
5. I don't know anything about crazy. The fellas can have at it.
Happy Hump Day!!!
In GA passing on our standardized tests is a 47…and these children are still failing o_O
As far as myths…
Preachers' kids being wild…not always true…I've met hella prudes…
One son of a preacher got in the bed, leaned over to the nightstand (I'm thinking he's pulling out a Golden Ticket) and he pulls out…wait for it…a bible and some pamphlets bout abstinence/celibacy til marriage!!!
I'm like WTF??? I'm a Christian…God knows my heart, but if I'm following you to the bedroom, I ain't trying to have a bible study lesson right now…I'm trying to f#*k!!!
WOW!! i'm mad that homeboy did that!!!! he needs to sit in the corner.. WITH the dunce hat on..
LMMFAO! that is the craziest shyte I've ever heard of in my life…..I'm trying to figure out how i'd respond to that other than picking up my clothes and just leaving….lmao
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that is SO jacked up!!!
I'm thinking it was his weird roundabout way of him trying to see if I was marriage material…maybe like he was trying to tell me that if we do this we gotta get married…either way that's still a major #fail on his part…
WOW! I'm probably wrong for this, but that would've just posed a challenge to me. We are descendants of Eve, right? So sorry girlie.
Wow, he pulled the Bible #swindle. Yeah, I love the Lord, but I think I would have been creative in getting him to put those pamplets back in the drawer. And to make him feel better about it, we could have prayed before and after.
In GA passing on our standardized tests is a 47…and these children are still failing o_O
I thought Streetz meant passing in terms of a test or a specific class, not standardized. But I hear ya.
All over this country, children are failing. I'll never understand the idea that if a child "passes" a standardized test, he automatically moves to the next grade level.
One son of a preacher got in the bed, leaned over to the nightstand (I’m thinking he’s pulling out a Golden Ticket) and he pulls out…wait for it…a bible and some pamphlets bout abstinence/celibacy til marriage!!!
^^^^
Streetztalk respawning in 3..2..1…
WOW!
I got no words… was he a Jehovah Witness? Did he tell you if he blew ur back out he wouldnt be 1 of the 175,000 that have VIP access to Heaven? Would he have been waitlisted?
#NOSHOTS
@NIA
65 is passing but barely for classes (report card fleaux)
90 – 100 – A
89 – 80 – B
79 -70 – C
70-65 – C-/D/BARELY PASS
< 65 – Fail
Total agreement to the rumor that a big foot equates to long buddy foolishness. Cuz I have complained of and have heard my girls complain the day after of men over 6'5 size 15 shoe and have nothing but an extra finger there. On the flipside, I've heard of really short dudes with certified tripods….which was pretty interesting to hear to me at least…lol I think size matters most of the time but I also think if a woman really likes you a lot of stuff slides as long as you're doing it right in other ways…motion being key.
Oh yea, that bad mon dun eat nuh pum stuff is straight smoke and mirrors…cuz bad mon will eat more than the pum…smh
Alcohol usually has a sloppy effect in my opinion…lol I dont think you can get the best experience out of that….
Good List!
1) Size matters. Motion matters. Where you lack in one, you better make up in the other.
2)GTFOH–she's only interesting because she thinks there is a difference in what she does & what she thinks. Honey, He can see through you either way.
3) Shoe size doesn't mean much, BUT I've found the actual length/girth of the fingers correlates to his other appendage.
4) Wouldn't the fear of being cut in your sleep take away from the sexual experience?
5) "You just look like a rookie" You are providing a public service here. Thank you.
6) Gin is liquid Viagra, but everything in moderation please…there is nothing sexy about a man falling asleep in mid-stroke.
7) LMAO, such a shame. This applies to both sexes.
Cali slang, it's hecka nice.
Gin is liquid Viagra, but everything in moderation please…there is nothing sexy about a man falling asleep in mid-stroke.
^^ i might write a testimonial on this soon..llmao
first of all, LMAO at the patois… i heard it in my head, and that sounds FULLY like my bredren down this way..
i love how they claim to not "eat at the 'Y'" while they're wearing tight purple jeans and a glitter belt… then they wanna get in my rampin shop..
"yu nah go eat it, but yu walk roun dress like a battyman?" i'm just wonderin which one they prefer..
and like my homeboy said, "if jamaicans don't wanna eat it, a yankee boy will.. no problem.. i'll slide in there and take ya spot.."
this list was on point.. i can't think of any other #swindles i've heard..
but that crazy woman business? who'd wanna risk it?? they're the type that wanna crack you with a Heineken bottle right after yu n*t.. nah sah..
that "motion in the ocean" business is the GREATEST #SWINDLE i ever heard.. i once got re-acquainted with my first love.. since i was 15 when we were together, we never had sex.. let's just say at 26, i was ready.. he wasn't packin, but i thought i could work with it.. it was SO BAD.. you know the type of bad that makes you think it was an "off night".. so i did it again, to make sure the first time wasn't a fluke.. let's just say i haven't spoken to him since.. pure f*ckery business dat..
poor ting..
Once again I'm sitting here laughin' my ass off…thank you thank you.
uhmmm…let's see, I don't care how much motion in the ocean you have going on…if you have a thimble…it will NOT be appreciated. At all.
I can't say it is a rule for all preacher's kids to be freaks…but uhhh I've met plenty that are!
Shoe size myth? That's a damn lie and everyone still perpetuating that should be slapped.
Caribbean men don't dive? THAT's another damn lie..ohhh chile that's a lie.
You can dance = you can kcuf? Not so much. My "best I eva had" couldn't dance to save his damn life…looked like he was having a seizure on the dance floor. *smh*
Alcohol…naaahhh I'm good on that…can't stand to smell alcohol seeping from his pores..slurred speech…wtf is sexy about that? lmao…never have had good experiences involving alcohol.
I saved the best one for last…cot damn peas n' rice… crazy pum pum IS the best…just like crazy D is the best. Now I'm not talking about slash your tires – bust your windows crazy either!
I'm with Seven – I don't give a damn how good the engineer is if the engine is only two cylinders. Keep it moving buddy.
And I WISH it was true about the Caribbean men not going down thing.
Happy Hump Day folks… it's beautiful in NYC – can't wait for happy hour.
On to today's topic
1. Size does matter… and it doesn't. Physiologically, as far as length is concerned, a woman's "walls" are only sensitive up to about 2-2.5 inches in. Everything after that is all guts, reproductive organs, uterus, and that sort of stuff that has nothing to do with pleasure – it actually hurts if you touch the uterus (proud to admit I've actually done it). So in that sense, as long as you're 2 inches or longer, you're straight.
Also, don't sleep, girth, is as important – if not more important than length. Remember what I said about the walls – the wider you are, the more pressure you're able to put on those walls. That's what a woman means when she says you're able to "fill her". If you're sliding right in, and there's no pressure on the walls (where it's most sensitive (next to the G-Spizzle) and it's gonna take a whole lot more effort, and a whole bunch of creativity to make her feel you. Length, also – is important. It does matter. It matters because the length makes you able to hold position without constantly slipping out. Remember my post last week about how you need to find the spot and hit it at least 20 times in a row if you want your woman to arrive – having length makes it easy to hit that spot consistently without any slippage, because if you slip remember, you gotta start back over at 1. Now – here's where it gets interesting. Length also matters because, like I said before – she can only feel for the first two inches in. If you're jawn is like say 4 in. at full salute, then, for every stroke, she's getting say, 8 square inches of impact on her most sensitive parts. If you're joint is like 8 in long at full salute then she's getting 16in of impact to her most sensitive parts with each stroke. Big Difference. Think of it like this, do taller guys walk faster than shorter guys? Not necessarily, but, the shorter guy has to take a whole bunch more steps to get to the same place as the taller guy. Make sense?
2. Church, at least Christian ones, are not supposed to be hotels for Saints, they're supposed to be hospitals for sinners. So it makes sense than many church chicks will be very experienced. A lot of times they're reformed h()es tryna get there life together and we – men – find ways to ruin there self-improvement, and remind them of the freaks they once were. Hopefully God will forgive us all.
3. The shoe size thing is a completely myth, at least, as far as I'm concerned… because, well… I don't have big feet.
4. Crazy pum is the best pum. Most definitely. Doesn't mean that non-crazy pum can't be great – but – I've never met a crazy chick who's pum was out of this world.
5. Pure-Blood – African Americans stand up!
6. Not a fan of drunk s_x. Tipsy maybe -drunk – no.
"reformed hoes"? lmao…
wait…are you saying that theoretically a woman should be satisfied with a "fat" 2.5in d? we are going to fight Most…
Nah, not at all. I'm saying that maybe, it's possible – in theory that a guy that's like 2.5 can make it do what it do… he just has to do a whole lot more work. Perfection is to be both long and wide.
NO NO NO…it is NOT possible for him to do 'nuthin' except buy an extension. LMAOOOOOOOO oh noooooo perish the thought that a 2.5in piece of a piece of wood should darken my doorstep…EVER.
@Seven I would never wish such a thing on you… lol.
Nice pic by the way!
Thank you love…
6. Not a fan of drunk s_x. Tipsy maybe -drunk – no.
Random…but am I the only one that sees Sexy Spec ballerina twirling in his red undies everytime they hear the word tipsy?
You've never hit a girl's uterus, you hit her cervix.
If you wanna get specfic, the Cervix a part of the uterus. It's the part closest to the V. Cervix is to Uterus as lips are to mouth.
Love how educated everyone on this blog is…
Let's be clear.
Based on your logic, you're saying that the girl who my manhood has grazed her lips, i've actually beat.
This right here is going to need a hearing with the League of Extraordinary Cocksmen.
Lol Jax…
You know we can go back and forth all day. We're both right. If you wanna be specific and note the part of her uterus that I hit, you're correct in saying it was the Cervix. But, left alone, the sentence -"you didn't hit her uterus, you hit her cervix" – is oxymoronic.
Judges – what say you?
Nah I feel you. So here's the rap lyrics of the day from Outkast – Tomb of the Boom…
They call me Mr. Ravioli, Mr. Scr*tum, Mr. Poke Em with the Noodle
Mr. Cockerspanielle in Your Poodle, after school tutor
Roto Rooter, addicted to follies
Like brown collies, stay soft fro
Swimming in the fallopian of an Ethiopian
Talking a different language, RBI fly wide…
First of all, da bruhz always setting owt shows for da bruhz. If we happen to win, so be it. Ask any sorority who has done a bruh tribute, by far the hardest most taxing tribute to do.
LOL
We all know its the motion in the ocean plus the size. I think there's a physics equation that we can use to explain my theory on pleasing a woman. With force equaling the quality of a woman's orchasm, mass equaling size and the motion in the ocean equaling acceleration; Newton's 2nd law holds true that F=ma. Meaning that mass and acceleration are equally responsible for the size of F.
Shoe/hand size might be true but as it relates to the rest of your body. I'd argue if a man's feet are disproportionately large when compared to his body (meaning a 5'5 dude w/ a 13) his wang is probably going to be huge. I have no way to prove this but its just a thought.
Crazy is usually the best because they are more passionate and that passion sometimes translates into the bedroom.
Alcohol is like diminishing marginal returns to the point where it creates a parabola. Every unit of alcohol consumed increases chexual pleasure, however each unit adds less pleasure than the unit before it. Disregarding Zeno's Paradox, eventually we'll get to a point where the alcohol is adding 0 units of pleasure and will begin to decrease the pleasure (this is where one is wasted)
First of all, da bruhz always setting owt shows for da bruhz. If we happen to win, so be it. Ask any sorority who has done a bruh tribute, by far the hardest most taxing tribute to do.
LOL
^^^
Im gonna have to write a testimonial on this too, lmaoo
Cosign all points!
**cracking knuckles** let me delve head first into these myths.
Motion in the Ocean > Size
this is the ultimate swindle. if a dude actually fell for this then he just needed to hear something so his ego wouldn't be as bruised. like everything else in life, size matters. just like the size of a woman's back side and her chest melons. DON"T FALL FOR THE SWINDLE.
All Church Women Are Freaks
there are freaks everywhere in the world. chances are your momma is a freak. all it takes is the right person to bring that inner freak out. *shrug* i don't think that there is a abnormally higher number of freaks in church versus anywhere else.
Shoe/Hand Size = THAT Size
well i can only speak for myself on this.
Crazy Pum Pum is the BEST Pum Pum
now Taraji was sexy in baby boy not because she was crazy but because she was sexy. there is nothing sexy about crazy. it's quite disturbing if you ask me.
Caribbean men don’t eat the cooch
pass on this one. don't really care what caribbean men do. i'm not one.
Alcohol enhances sexual experience
it depends on who i'm with and exactly how much i've had to drink. it can enhance it in certain situations. i've never heard of alcohol shortening the time. i've actually heard the opposite. who really drinks svedka? you asking for a hangover. now if you want to talk about enhancing the experience i heard from a friend that cannibis sativa is a great enhancer.
If you can dance, you can fcuk
this is the furthest thing from the truth. i'm not really a great dancer.
Padawan Padawan, clearly, you haven't been with a crazy chick before. The same enthusiasm that she will put into going Jaz Sully on your V – she will put into what she does in the bedroom. It's just one of those things you have to experience. Crazy chicks are more addictive than crack – you can't get away. They're known to break up happy homes and destroy lives. They leave men unable to think logically. They've actually altered the course of human history. Look at John Edwards. He got Rielle pregnant while his wife was fighting cancer and while he was running for President. Nothing about that is logical. Look at John Mayer. While the whole world was thinking about the fact that he's clearly a racist, I was as intrigued by what he said about Jessica Simpson. You read the Bible? Ever hear of Delilah?
i make a conscious choice to stay away from crazy broads. i don't need that type of drama in my life. women are more than a handful already to handle. i don't need one flying off the deep end. i'll take a perfectly sane woman who can still make my toes curl. eff that.
I always see that word and think someone's talking to me or something.
I think my momma built sanity right into my name, so that I'd have no choice but to live up to it.
Typically…the crazy type that i'm referring to…you won't know they're crazy until you've been hooked. LOL
#cosign Crazy chicks may create a virtual bedspring symphony but that ain't doing -ish for the fresh key marks on your paint or the 4 flat tires you'll undoubtedly have…
"now if you want to talk about enhancing the experience i heard from a friend that cannibis sativa is a great enhancer."
I've heard this as well. we might have the same friend. lol
yep my friend said it was grade A certified.
I have a friend who said the same thing. Oh, the stories she could tell…
chances are your momma is a freak.
^^
**technical foul**
This one directed at me, Streetz?
I was all set with my righteous indignation… then I remembered my mom's baby to baby daddy ratio. Chances are, she was indeed a freak.
Naw Tunde…lol
*pipes in from the quiet corner*
-Feet and hand size have NOTHIING to do with D*** size. BTW, i think any woman who says size doesn't matter is a damn liar. It most definitely does matter. Every woman has a perfect size, and it's not necessarily big or huge.
-I dunno about the crazy pum pum thing.. I'm not crazy :p
-In my experience the Caribbean men don’t eat the cooch thing is about 50/50. Some do, some don't. But regardless of where the guy is from, most of the time they don't know what they are doin down there anyway(with their tongues) jmho
- I rarely drink, but when i do, you can be assured you won't be gettin laid that night. I will be passed out. I always thought whiskey dick was when it got hard for took FOREVER to go down. Never heard of floppy whiskey dick.
- I've dated a few guys that could dance. That was initially what got my attention, but then got em in bed and they were extremely disappointing. Besides, I can't dance at all and I've never been known to disappoint :p
"I rarely drink, but when i do, you can be assured you won’t be gettin laid that night. I will be passed out. I always thought whiskey d*ck was when it got hard for took FOREVER to go down. Never heard of floppy whiskey d*ck."
this is what i also thought whiskey d*ck was.
This is why I don't drink… that much… hinders performance… hence…
I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis… stay thirsty my friends.
I couldn't resist… sorry.
I got s*xual myths…
Italian men are good in bed…. WRONG.
Dominican men can sleep with only one woman and be happy…. DIQUE.
Asian women are freaky…. couldn't be further from the truth.
All White women love giving head… "I have 3 white friends who don't like giving head."
Middle Eastern women are the move… Did you know that most traditional Muslim women, don't have s*x until they're married? And they mean that ish. Like no no no, they mean it.
Dominican women can sleep with one man, one time, and get pregnant even with the use of a condom…. This is factually correct. These women have a delta growing in between their legs. #notgonnadoit
Russian women are stingy with it…. This is completely false, but take my advice, don't mess with Russian women. For more information, inquire within.
All Thai women squirt… I'm not sure 50% counts, but she can't squirt… cough cough I heard.
I have more, but I need to do something for my country today.
Dr. J, you forgot "all Hispanic women are good in bed." I'll just say I was very disappointed.
I think you got some bad platanos. I can't co-sign et all.
Than I salute 50% of Thai women……
and there is no way you can pass up on a Dominican! MY FAVORITE! You just gotta learn the art of the pull out or never give them your Social Security number or government name.
Dominican don't need your government. For some strange reason they all have good credit. They name be on everything and the toaster. Dudes don't own nothing, they wife does. So then you stuck with them. It's not THAT bad of a position to be in.
Yes, size matters. Any women saying otherwise is lying. That said, I wouldn't turn down the near perfect man simply because he's not rocking what I'm used to, and I don't think any other woman would either. If he's not getting the job done, it is my duty to guide him until he is at an acceptable performance level (at least).
biggest #swindle of my life was a man with a size 13 shoe.
"Caribbean men don’t eat the cooch"
"If you can dance, you can fcuk"
Shuttlesworth…you're killin' me here. In one fell swoop you have debunked two myths us West Indian men have been keeping alive for centuries! Lying about eatin' the pum is simply a case of under promise and over deliver. The dancing myth eliminates the need to spit strong game…we jus gotta wait for "Flex" or "Rampin Shop" to come on and let our waists do the talkin'. These myths were brilliant and up until today fool proof. I'ma need to contact the West Indian delegation's attorney, Donovan Dexter Lewis to see if this is libelous. Damn you Streetz!
LMAOOOO Tell him to speak to my attorney Claude Jean-Baptiste!
I mean… we all lie, but they know and we know wassup..
and I kno a few AMERICAN women who dance like all stars and perform like rookies in the sack!
LMAO @ Claude Jean-Baptiste
Getting sauced on henny or some other high octane alcohol is def a myth, but cracking back 1 or 2 guiness before or after a good Golden Krust type meal will definitely get you right. SHABBA!
but cracking back 1 or 2 guiness before or after a good Golden Krust type meal will definitely get you right. SHABBA!
^^^
THIS!!! i forgot
Guinnes is a natural enhancer. I too, scoffed at this notion, until my GT Brethren (Shout to Mr. Freeze!) put me on.
Now its Pon the River pon di Bank all dey errydey!
Bet…so tell ya mans to hook you up w/ Elephant Stout and some roots. King Kong aint gon have sh*t on you my friend.
LOL@ "Rampin Shop!!!! every song nowadays want somebody fi "sit down pon di cocky like chair.."
damn, just mentioning that song makes me wanna wine… *sheesh*
LMAO @ this post!
1. Motion of the ocean theory: Ur little canoe cant do shyt in the ocean in comparison to a yacht. at the same time having a titanic doesnt mean u going to be Poseidon in this btch.
2. I go to church sometimes. So i suppose I am not qualified to address this comment. I lack consistency in my church attendance.
3. Shoe/Hand Size = THAT Size: This is straight BullShyt! Some of the men with the bigger shoe size claiming to live a magnum lifestyle, are u sing the NYC Condoms they hand out at the clinic! I dont believe in that size crap, show me ur Dck thats the size that I wanna see! Some 5.5 Feet are oacking 8.5 or even 9inches of greatness! So please Sit down unless ur dck is actually big!
4. Skips this one! lol
5. Caribbean men eat coochie and do it very well! I wont blow up ur spot to ur friends boo, as long as u continue to feast on the Vag!
6. This alcohol thing: Hmm yea idk how it wrks for dudes. I have had great drunk sex, and not so great drunk sex. all i know if both ppl need to be drunk! LOL
7. So u think you can fck: Only true in certain cases not a general rule. But it helps with the motion of the ocean theory! Maybe it means that if u know how to ride a horse you automatically know how to ride the dck. #idk #amjustsaying lol
65 is passing but barely for classes (report card fleaux)
90 – 100 – A
89 – 80 – B
79 -70 – C
70-65 – C-/D/BARELY PASS
< 65 – Fail
_____________
dude that scale is so off.
100-90 = A
89-80 = B
79-70 = C
< 69 = Fail
that's the way it should be. why reward mediocrity?
dont shoot da messenger my g!
D's get degrees.
I think knowing 65% of knowledge is enough to let you graduate from HS but dont be surprised when you cant get no job though
dude i'm telling you that 69% below was failing in my program and i wish i would have brought home anything less than a high B average in anything. my parents side-eyed me when i didn't get A's. While my brothers were pulling in gpa's of less than 2.0
And a C+ @ Yale gets you the Presidency…..
dude that scale is so off.
100-90 = A
89-80 = B
79-70 = C
< 69 = Fail
that's the way it should be. why reward mediocrity?
_______________________________
That was the scale when I was in school. If I got a 93, my parents would ask questions. Once I told them it was still an A, they would be ok, but tell me to get 95+ to end all confusion. lol.
our grading scale was
100-92 A
91-83 B
82-74 C
73-65 D
64-0 F
for city public school. I was surprised when I got to college and a 90 was an A! I still never wanted one because that was ugly to me. lol
If you can't master 70% of the material, that should be a fail.
Yall funny wit all the international experience. Growin up in PG/DC. Nothin but American ni@@z far as the eye could see.
They aint call it chocolate city for nothin.
Tht buddha belly shyte is cheatin and a technical foul too…lmao
Nah that's just my mutant X gene. Little supplement like wolverines animantium.
are you saying that there isn't a high international population in the dc/pg area? i grew up in the same area (stand up fhhs!) and there is definetly a high population of nigerians, ethiopians and mexicans.
I was gonna say except for Ethiopians and Africans. The latinos aint show up until the late 90s. Most the Africans and West Indians live outside the beltway. Ethiopians used to have Adams Morgan on lock. Now they out in Silver Spring. Phillipinos got Fort Washington on Lock. Laurel is diverse. But my hood, Phaaaa….here is the last census information:
Chances of interracial dating are slim to none. 
The racial makeup of the CDP was 4.58% White, 93.18% African American, 0.12% Native American, 0.35% Asian, 0.01% Pacific Islander, 0.32% from other races, and 1.44% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 1.11% of the population.
*makes note to visit Ft. Washington…..
i would say it depends on where you were at inside of the beltway. i grew up in landover hills/hyattsville and there were plenty of nigerians. but i do agree with you that i don't really remember latinos being anywhere except for langley park (latino land) in the late 80's.
"I was gonna say except for Ethiopians and Africans. The latinos aint show up until the late 90s. Most the Africans and West Indians live outside the beltway. Ethiopians used to have Adams Morgan on lock. Now they out in Silver Spring. Phillipinos got Fort Washington on Lock. Laurel is diverse. But my hood, Phaaaa….here is the last census information: Chances of interracial dating are slim to none."
This is a lie. You forget I grew up here. The international presence in DC is growing, meaning there was always a presence. The Latin population has always been here, but it hasn't really messed with the rest of the population until recently. I on the other hand, grew up on KDY/Riggs Park, so I was in Hyattsville a lot. I remember in the early 90s when the latinos took over Tick Tock. The ethiopians/eritreans still have adams morgan, u street, silver spring and all places in between on lock. But they don't really date outside their race, so whatever. To be honest with you, if you went to school in Upper NW, you're going to school with all the children of the people who work for the embassies… so yeah… I went to school in upper NW, lol. My girlfriends from JHS to HS, were bolivian, mixed, guatemalan, filipino, mixed, guatemalan, liberian, and guatemalan. (yes, i know i kept going back to the same chick, but at least i didn't get her pregnant… *slides off the back of the 80 metrobus*)
Lol I don't know about that…my folks live in the city and up in hyattsville and most of the guys I meet are straight out of Africa. I'm not saying that DCs not still chocolate city (or more specifically american chocolate) but we have our share of internationals.
*makes note to visit Ft. Washington…..
_______________________
Philipino brawds…….Yes sir! Only asian people dat got a$$ for days.
Yeah I was mostly speakin about the southside. Southside of PG and DC. Yeah I know the Africans are deep around Hyattsville, Landover, Mitchellville and Largo.
I spent many many days at my cousin house in Lewisdale so I know the Latinos aint really show up till the mid to late 90s.
Uptown always been international. But like I said round the Southside, even to this day it aint nuthing but ni@@gz.
But trust me yall I know. My fam been takin in African exchange students since the 60s. Nigerians and Ethiopians. My real name is Ethiopian.
Carribean men don't nyam the pums: In my experience it all depends. Guys with Carribean backgrounds but grew up in Canada (where I'm from), yeah they'll most likely eat. Guys who are fresh from the islands, like just recently immigrated, not as likely. Stay in a relationship long enough and anything is fair game.
Good Dancer = Good Back-blower-outer: BIGGEST LIE known to man. I love my boyfriend to death, but his dancing skills certainly don't measure up to mine ( I love a nice slow wine to some reggae) but am I satisfied in the bedroom? I've been known to beg for mercy on occasion.
Hahaha I don't think I've heard anyone use "rack" back in DC since elementary school. Nice throwback.
If I have more then 2-3 alcoholic drinks before the do, I'm not able to finish at all.The big "O" becomes a big "NO" cause its not happening…
Why is everyone changing there name..Tunde? Peyso? So, now Im known as Temptress….now what? LOL
Iono, but I don't like it.
it wouldn't let me comment using my old info. i had to change my name and email address. smh.
LOL…right.
ladies I gotta ask.. yall really let ninjas Buddha Belly u?!
If a chick did that to me… smh..
I've never had the pleasure, but it seems like some women like it. So, I would be open to it, I'm open to almost everythang.
If ur belly can talk to me, am not talking to you! I have a weight limit if u go pass it, I am not fuking you! I will take ur azz running nucca! And am not cooking for u! #gothatway
Uhhhhhmmm…I'm still traumatized from that enlightenment. I'd almost have to see it to believe it…on video.
I don't do the buddha belly…never have…don't wanna find out….
That shyt is sooooooooo disturbing. lmao… but to each their own I guess *shrugs*
I gotta story to tell:
My first viginal orgasm came from my ex-lover of 4 years. He was hidding all of 4 inches in his jeans. I was appalled when he grabbed my hand and placed it in his pants. However, once we became comfortable with one another and learned each other bodies, I was able to climax EVERY time we had sex. Now of course, positions were limited due to his size, but shucks, the ultimate goal of intercourse is to climax, right?
On the flip side, I sexed a man who was hung like a horse! We did it this way, we did it that way, we did it every way and all our sexepedes ended with me saying "…I'm not going to cum, just go head…"
So, from my experiences size does not always matter. Now of course, I am not out looking for the itty bitties of the world, nor am I seeking the mandingos. Just give me an average man, that loves to lunch, and I am happy =)
As far as the other myths, I can only blame it on the alcohol. After two glasses of wine, or maybe four, I become a bit more "amped" and engerized.
So the general consensus is no Buddha guts for the ladies?
*runs to do more crunches*
damn is that the passing grade now in NYC we need to up that in the classroom an the bedroom SMH
Baduism…wow. I'm done. Turn out the lights, and light a candle.