Cop that on iTunes, check out the video.
Give a big shoutout to the big homie, @JMikey who keeps everyone abreast of the movements of DC’s @IAmDonJuan. And I don’t know if you have listened, but he has a song and music video called, “Lookie Looky.” It is probably one of my favorite songs of the year. This video sums up how I feel about myself and how most people should feel about themselves too. Remember how I used to tell you guys all the time, and even when I guest spotted on blogradio shows, “Tell yourself, you’re the sh*t, because if you don’t think so, no one else will.”
In all seriousness, men might be more vain than women. We don’t tell you guys because we know you might think that’s metro or homo, but to be honest it’s the truth. I know a few guys out there who aren’t vain and they are not pimping at all. I got a female friend who it takes 3 hours to go out with because she has to get ready, and this is after her 6PM, #imgoingoutlater nap. But listen here, if I don’t start thinking about what I’m going to wear at about 10 in the morning, we might not make it out the house before 2AM with me trying to pick out an outfit. The lengths we go through to be fresh are inconceivable. It’s in the way we walk, talk, and act. When Plies said, “I spunt $2500 on this outfit” he wasn’t lying. We’ll spend $2500 on an outfit, just so we know another guy doesn’t have it on. (And if he does we will leave the club.)
Anyway, you guys like lists, so here’s a list of things I’m doing just to have you, Look At Me, #lookielooky:
Like I said before, I spend an absurd amount of time in picking an outfit for the night. I will take out an outfit, stare at it. And then decide against it because I just didn’t like it anymore. Or I don’t want to wear the shoes that go with it, two nights in a row. Keep in mind, I still got like 4 or 5 pairs of tennis shoes I ain’t even worn yet. (Look at me.)
When I go to the mall for an outfit, I always want to know one thing, “What came in on shipment that you ain’t put up yet?” I want something that nobody else got. And when you trying to be a rock star, you not checking the tags, you just reaching for the paper bag, and putting down plastic.
I stand in the mirror for about an hour a day. I just want to look at me and make sure that nothing has changed. If I walk pass a mirror I can’t help but look and check myself out.
Not having a haircut is a reason to not do something. Sometimes I’ll let it rock past the week cutoff, but only if I’m on my I’m not going out tip. But if there will be flash photography, I’m going need to get a cut. Also, it might be midnight and we got to be there by midnight, but I will stop at midnight to iron my shirt if it’s wrinkled. Flash photography sees wrinkles too.
Shoe game must always be proper. Raise your hand if you used to clean your shoes right as soon as you got home and put the protectant spray on before you left home. When you think about how much dirt you’ve probably swallowed from licking your thumb and getting that spot of dirt off your fresh Penny’s, you know what they mean by, “God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt.” (Sidenote, a scuff on the foamposites was the WORST. You had to basically burn that thing off.)
I pop bottles for absolutely no reason but to have people walk by and look at me. I do not need the bottle of champagne, but I figure if I’m walking around the club with a bottle of Rose, I look pretty rad. Plus they probably let me wear what I want and show up when I want. (Look at me.)
I show up late. This is the key identifying factor to someone who is in love with themselves, they have no respect for your time, it’s all on their time. I know we have to be in by 11PM to get in free, I’m showing up at 12:30. I know you said they gonna give our table away if we’re not there by 12:30, we’ll be there at 1. I know you said the club closes at 3, I’ll show up at 2.
I call around to see who has the best whip to go to the club in and stunt. Men will call everyone looking for an Escalade or Navigator to go to the club in. They not trying to be pimping in the Escort. The best part of going to the club is being seen. Valet service and a truck on 24s is the best way to ensure that this happens. Plus, we can’t roll five deep to the club in a sedan, how we gonna sing, “Back to the Crib” during the let out.
That’s my list of 8. I’m waiting to see what y’all got on your list. And also it’s okay to get at me in the comments section about being completely full of myself. I actually have some more that I’m going to get into later. Don’t forget to check out the links and folks I included in this post and show some support. “Y’all come back now.” – DJ Casper
I hate to say it … but I cannot co-sign.
If I can't pull a girl while holding nothing more than my own corona, rocking whatever simple shirt I put on, and nothing more than the siren song that oozes from my lips … I have failed.
Just to exercise the mouthpiece I go around town the next day flirting my way to free food, drinks, and stuff with waitresses, servers, and jewelry store workers. If you can't get the solid 6 at McDonalds to give u some free sweet tea … you are not pimpin.
I can't cosign either. I get more attention than I'd like simply walking out my door. It's never taken me more than an hour to get ready to go anywhere. When I do make "special" efforts, it's more for me than anybody else. I guess I'm just low maintenance.
@Sanen85 – I been waiting since 2AM when I was in no position to reply to this message to reply to this message…
If you think you get more than enough attention from simply walking out your house. Think of what would happen if you did a little more than simply walk out of your house. Think of the caliber of attention that you would get when you walk out the house.
Bill Cosby said, "Now I can serve you this steak on a trash can, it's still steak. But if I put this steak on a nice heated plate, and maybe add some mashed potatoes… green beans… a nice steak knife and napkin."
Presentation is everything!
I'm not saying that I don't worry about the presentation, but I will not go to the extent that it seriously inconveniences me. Taking 3 hours to get ready would be a serious inconvenience. Yes, I do frequently buy a new outfit just to go out in, but if I did it to the extent that I can never be seen anywhere in the same outfit twice, that'd be a problem.
I also find that as a woman with considerable *ahem* assets and dimples (I could be flav and men would still come at me for the dimples), the more I go above and beyond, the more attention I get from the wrong element wanting the wrong things. I'm not saying I just roll out of bed or anything, but I am pretty low maintenance, and I'm okay with it.
Is the repitition in your post an indicator of how drunk you must have been at 2am (and maybe still at 11:52 today)?
Having/not having a haircut is a reason to go out/or stay in. If I cut my hair Wednesday, we hitting the club Thursday.
Gotdamn Facebook got me spending £££ on new garms all the time.. As soon as i'm snapped in something, that shirt/t is not coming out when there's likely to be pictures. That's just real talk mayne.
Weirdest thing is, this is mostly down to my own vainness rather than trying to impress chicks/other people. I've found that I barely need game and that some chicks just understand my story – or not, word to Nas. And a lot of the superficial stuff barely counts when you're fairly good looking, have decency and can make girls laugh.
But that isn't the point. I don't do it for the ladies, I don't do it for the ninjas, I do it for the camera and the mirror!
Omg… I can sooooo #cosign on that facebook comment. Lmbo. My girl & I were just talmbout this the other day. She was saying she needed to go get another outfit b/c somebody snapped her new one & tagged it on FB. Lmao. She WILL NOT wear an outfit that's been seen on FB. LOL! Omg. I can't say I'm not the same way… new event = new outfit.
We just heard about this store who resells once used garments for ppl like us… & gives you a cut so you can buy some new threads. I'm all about it.
there are tons of stores like that, really popular in NYC for sneakers. Cosignment (sp?) i think is the term
I don't even think about these types of things when I go out…I just try and be cute, and make sure my hair is done. I don't take very long at all to get ready.. I usually just go out and buy a brand new outfit….because, I just think whatever I already have, I don't really want to wear…but, I don't go out on the scene that much anymore…..I did all that in my 20s…
Dr J…You stand in the mirror about an hour a day?! Just starin' at yourself….LOL. SMH
"I usually just go out and buy a brand new outfit….because, I just think whatever I already have, I don’t really want to wear…"
Which is exactly my point. AND as many people have pointed out, facebook has ruined the lifespan of your favorite outfit. I had a pink sweater that I loved to wear, I can't wear it now though, because I caught at Shadow with it on, front and center…. So I had to just keep it around for the occasional grocery shopping.
damn FB… you called me out on one of my fave tops. every time i see it, i'm tempted to put it on, but then i think of your FB comments busting me in the multiple photos when i wore it… tsk tsk Dr. J ::shaking head::
Hmmm, if any male friend told me any of these he'd most definitely get deleted off my Verizon Friends/Fam list.
Only one I might agree with is the last one. But since I belong to a car club it's almost expected that it looks better than me 1/2 the time for shows/meets/events…. :0(
You are sooooo high maintenance. I'm exhausted just reading the list, lol. I hate to say this, but I usually laugh a little at the "Looky me!" crowd at the club. My goal is to look cute and dance without hobbling at the end of the night because my feet hurt. I hang more with the "Having Fun and Don't Care Who's Watching" crowd more than the "Looky Me" crowd.
But since we talking high maintenance habits, I got one (via my dang sis in law):
If you've never seen shampoo or conditioner at your woman's place, best believe she's got a weekly or bi-weekly salon schedule. She don't even wash her own hair. #nttawwt
Ur sis in law speaks truth. One of my friends stayed the night at my house and was like 'shampoo please…'
My face: O_o "Yea… about that…" Luckily my lil bro has some for his wave fortitude… Lol.
SOUND LIKE SOME B^TCH $h^t…
P.S. Told ya'll all B^tches ain't women.
I can cosign on a couple, The fresh cut, the kicks and the changing outfits.
I also pick my outfits based on what pair of sneakers i want to wear that day.
Wooooooooooooooow… All of that is cool except for the disrespect of other people's time. That is one the top ten pet peeve list for me & a sure fire way to be ignored… Texts, calls, emails all ignored.
I have never had to go through all of that for attention or "looky looky". It's always been instant. I stepped out the house, it's instant. Walk out the job to grab a snack w/ the work polo on, instant. Riding the DART through downtown, instant.
When I go out, I'm part of the "Came to enjoy myself" group. My girls & I can sit in a dark corner in the spot & chill listening to the band & it's instant.
My older sister told me several things when I first moved out on my own. This post reminds me of one thing, "Never date a man who thinks he's cuter than you." lol… Yeah.
This is the gayest post I've ever read, seriously…it's not that deep, nobody really gives a damn nor are they paying that much attention to you.
p.s. nothing personal Dr. J, I really like your writings, but i was just surprised that you were so superficial!
tell em why you mad son. lol
Real talk, you sound upset. And i'm not superficial I think that's making a drastic conclusion. (But we already have concluded that women are pathological long jumpers.)
Anyway, I don't think saying, I will have my finest threads on, a haircut, clean and neat shoes, and make sure that after all of that, I check myself out in the mirror on the way out is a problem.
The problem is the men who don't do that.
Well, when you say it like that, it doesn't sound as bad as how it sounded in the post. This is something I can relate to.
no, you're cleaning it up — you know you were over the top when you wrote that!
over the top, ok. superficial, false. keep it real homie, superficial is a big claim and diss. but i'll take it if it gets you to happy hour any faster.
i don't go to happy hour, but on the real, i meant superficial because of the huge dose of narcissim that was attached to your post. do you really think that people are checking you for haircuts and wrinkles all like that?
maybe i'm just old (remember i'm one of the older married chicks that post on this blog) but your rituals sound exhausting.
That showing up late and not respecting anyone's time is the true-true gospel. People who do that? Humph! I'ont fug wit' em.
Let me clarify something about the time thing… For my family and close peoples and dates, i'm always on time, if not early. Keep in mind, most of this series i'm going with here lately is about going out. Basically, what i'm saying is I like to make an appearance. And I know I can side-eye a lot of you females, because you know for a fact, a promoter or the bday boy will say, "free for ladies before 12" and you skip right past it and show up at 1 and text/bbm the dude. #sitdown
OK. Gotcha.
Hmmm Yea……I dont even do all that! I might buy clothes just cause, I know eventually I will need it. Like to have shyt on reserve you never know. But I dont do all that. I pick my outfit right before I head out. I cant relate to most of that shyt cause am not a guy…except the hair, if my hair and eyebrows not right..am staying home. Oh And I really hate seeing someone with my same outfit…only happened once 7years ago and I never forgot. Hahah the late thing is true….some people like myself have no respect for others time I dont do it on purpose it just happens I swear!
By the way this shyt sounds mad GAYYY my nucca! *Riley's Voice* Straight Homoerotic and Narcissistic!
Seeing someone in your 'fit is the worst.
Essence Festival 2008…I bought a dress at a major chain store…(fail #1) and as soon as we hit the outside of the hotel.. iSpy the same dress across the street. Now no one would let me go back to change because it had taken forever for all of us to get ready.
iSaw that same damn dress literally 5 more times that day…NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
I felt this whole comment. I do hate to see someone having on the same thing I have on, LOL. and it has been years…hmph.
yeah I'm cool with being looky lookie or whatever–even though some of this is really extreme but I respect people's time.
Is this an ode to narcissism? I'm not pretty enough to do all that.
I would have cosigned five years ago. Now, I just don't care. If you saw me out five months ago and I'm wearing the same thing again, well you'll just have to excuse my sartorial recidivism. I think I am officially old. The only thing I can still semi-cosign on is the hair cut. I get my hair cut every two weeks, so even if I go out on day 13, it's never too bad.
What I don't understand is people buying new outfits before they go out. If you have to buy a new outfit before you can go out, it's probably time to do some clothes shopping. That's like going to the grocery store and buying just what you are going to eat for the day.
*In honor of Cinco de Mayo, I think I'm gonna keep the El Catorce for this week.
I get your analogy about the grocery store… and believe me, I have plenty of clothes… plenty of good staples. But doing out is a different arena… at least for me b/c I live so far from the city. So consider it like a special meal you wanna make… why you may have all the staples… the makings of a salad, the rolls, the proper wine, the sides… it's not likely you are going to have a lobster already at home.
But if u always eating lobster, u should always be shopping for it
What can I say So FLYY, I'm old and I can't relate! If I can't find something in my closet, I'm going clothes shopping or I don't need it. I just can't see myself going clothes shopping for one outfit before I go out.
Haircuts I will def cosign. I get cut weekly and have my own clippers, as all men should, to touch myself up during the week.
Everything else is a lil OD… Ive had the unworn kicks tho!
Weekly & ur own maintenance? Wow.
yup..no need to be wolfin lol
That's what's up Streetz..I think, every man should learn how to touch up his own edges and handle some clippers…..
Cosing the clippers Streetz. I often keep a beard and, working in the conservative, corporate environment, if you're gonna keep a beard, it must be immaculately groomed. I touch that up every day. I actually took 2 years off of going to the barbershop, cutting my own hair. Went back for the comraderie…
That said, I'm extremely particular about who cuts my hair. I've had a total of 3 barbers in my life. Total.
Cosign on being particular about your barber. I've had 5. My current barber only makes house calls #pause
If you in NYC and need a barber to come to you, hit me up for the contact info DM on twitter or something @peyso
Cosign. I've had the same barber since 1996. No one else can touch my hair.
Do believe I select my barbers like I select my doctors. I have My main barber and an alternate.
I also have a LA barber too for when I travel out west. So Sincurr
Yall got a point with the hair. Real talk I moved and have found that a lot of barbers are not that great and are charging too much for something that isn't worth the fee.
I've actually began starting to learn how to cut my own hair. It will be a curve but once i get it right I wont have to worry about nobody messing up my hair, i mean who knows you better than you?
For a sec I thought shimmying was going to be on that list too. #Jokes
Can't co-sign with it all, but I will agree with the fresh cut. I don't know any working man out there that doesn't feel the effects of getting a fresh line up. There's nothing better.
I like to look good, but I can't stunt. Not just for financial reasons, but because it's not in my nature. If I can't pull a woman with my smile and a look, then I don't need her.
"I like to look good, but I can’t stunt."
I'm guessing standing on top of an SUV @ 2:15 in sunglasses pointing to the sky ain't stuntin…
"I wear sunglasses @ night cuz my star shine so bright."
Or maybe I'm confusing stuntin w/ brash cockiness.
Oh that? Man, that's straight cockiness. Done for nothing but my own enjoyment and a good picture.
…That still needs to be found.
This ole Kappa a$$ Alpha lol
I concur on a few of them. In HS and college, I didnt take graduation pix b/c i forgot to get a haircut. I aint going no where important if I dont have a cut.
I'll go through a few outfits before I go out but I dont care if some ninja in the club got the same pink button down. Who cares? I dont. However, facebook makes me put clothes on retirement. I got these red chinos but i cant rock til at least august.
I dont go to the mall. Gilt, polo, macys.com and the random sits my girls sends to me
I agree on shoes though.
I will take the train to the club, i pop a bottle once a yr for my bday and i will be there early for the open bar
Gilt is the truth. There's a few other sites I eff with that are official. I'll holla Q.
Looks like you already got that site under ya belt. F*ck it, that was gonna be my good deed for the quarter too. Oh well.
salemail and bluefly among others too
Yea I tried hitting you w/ the salemail joint…I ain't up on bluefly, but btw salemail and gilt, I can't fathom needing more coverage…I'ma hit you with another one to see if you got it…hit me w/ that bluefly.
I cant get to bluefly from the job and it dont come up right on the blackberry. Just sign up for the newsletter like me and the more stuff u order the cooler the stuff that they send u.
Try yoox.com and topbutton also
I def co-sign on train to the club, once a year B-Day bottle popping, and hitting that open bar.
I'll will cuss a motherf****er out for making me miss the open bar. Hell … even just missing drink specials might get you backhanded.
About open bars and drink specials…
This is bougie, and I will admit that if I can find a roundabout I will do it, BUT.. I hate open bars, if you tell Black folk it's open bar, you have to think about WHO SHOWS UP.
I pay a premium to have space at the bar and to drink/dine with people of a certain stature. I'm sorry, but I fell out of love with open bars around 06 when everyone was trekking down to 1223 to get there for the 5-7 open bar, which was an afterwork networking happy hour. Some of the most ignorant dudes would find a button up and diesels to make it in the club and post up at the bar. Then they would charge people $1 to get them a drink. Black people would push and shove and create schemes and plans to get to the bar for a free drink. I couldn't do it. I'll glad pay the $6 for the Corona and be able to breathe.
As for drink specials, you get a little of the above too, but more than likely you get everyone trying to shove their behind into a place they don't want to be at anyway to get $4 Skyy vodka cocktails. Nah son, I need my space and room.
Space and room … F* that. My tolerance is too high and my fetish for technology takes enough spare cash to force me to make some trade offs. Rather have the new cell phone that flies out of my hands and does loops in the air than have breathing room with my vodka.
The only thing I have to watch for is rail vodka. I can handle rails to a certain extent … but as I'm getting older my bottle can't process that bottom barrel clear without hangovers.
Man … you is one bougie a$$ negro
And before you put Black folk out there on the open bar tip, think back to any PWI quarter or dollar beer night. That's when you hear the siren call of white folk bout to lose it: Woooooooohooooooooo!!
SEEE it is that level of rationalization makes me EFF with you.
I mean…I just always make sure I have a clean shave when and I won't wear glasses if I'm going somewhere of importance…even though I have pretty cool glasses. That's about it. This is quite Kappa-ish. Not gonna lie.lol.
You mentioned one of my pet peeves Doc. I hate it when people are late!!!
My glasses usually come off when I go out too. Iono why, but they do.
Also, I can't stand when a mothersucka has me standing around waiting on their a**.
#sideeye
What'chu got against folks wit' glasses?
>;0[
Nah son…
This right here:
"I call around to see who has the best whip to go to the club in and stunt. Men will call everyone looking for an Escalade or Navigator to go to the club in. They not trying to be pimping in the Escort."
Really? WTF
Dam pop bottles, buyin shoes and tables. Get a car first. Phaaa
What you don't know is if I drive a BMW M3, I still cannot go to the club with all my boys!!!
By the way, I drive a really nice car, but I ain't trying to stunt on the internet, I do it in person. But because I have rims, I don't like more than 2 people in my whip. Therefore, when we roll out, I like to be in a truck.
#cosign that's why i fux w/ you Dr. J.
since i move to new cities a lot i am often a one man team (no Iverson) so i've altered a few of these tactics.
which ones? i was hoping you'd ask:
No Haircut, No Bueno:
i agree, but i noticed that i have my best nights when i'm in between my weekly cuts, it gives off the impression that i don't give a f*ck…and i don't. so it works, so now i get a cut on wednesday to be fresh for humpday happy hours and rock my Friday 5 o'clock shadow on the wknd
Take All Day Find The Right 'Fit:
i lay my work clothes out every night like tomorrow's the first day of school, so if i'm going out later, or the next day, i do same thing….i'm notorious for planning my debauchery ahead of time
Tardiness:
i'm the opposite, i show up early so she can leave early…by the time Dr. J arrives, I've already left with one and can get enough rest to hit the gym the next morning.
"now i could let these dream killers kill my self-esteem, or use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams" – Kanye West
Damn Dr. J – you're a freakin DIVA.
This is like Kanye's "All Falls Down" from the College Drop-Out Album… minus the self-reflection, introspection and awareness that this all comes back to some sort of self-confidence issue; on the contrary, Dr. J is actually proud of his self-conscious narcissism… if he's being real. Perplexing. Haven't really figured out how I feel about that, but, Dr. J has admonished me before for trying to psychoanalyze everyone so I won't go there.
I always believe, in my heart, that I'm the most intelligent, the most stylish, the most charismatic, charming, funny, accomplished, attractive and most masculine man in any room I'm in. Because I feel like this, I feel like everything about me should reflect the way I feel about myself. From my choice of clothes, shoes, tailor, barber, cologne, vodka (see yesterday's post), to my personal accomplishments, to my house, to everything about me. So, I don't spend a lot of money on clothes because I want people to notice me. People will notice me regardless of what I wear (I believe), I spend a lot of money on clothes because the best clothes cost a lot of money. I don't get a haircut because someone might take my picture, I get a haircut because a man should always be well groomed. I wear good shoes, always, because… I mean… what's the other option? If I buy a bottle, it's because I want a table, or it's because I'm celebrating or it's because there's a 45 minute wait at the bar, and I'm not the type to yell out my drink order. I'm always on time, because, a man should always be on time. And there's no way to justify that last comment about calling around to see who has the nicest car, that's a DIVA move.
Some of you women have been wondering what The Most Interesting Man in the World looks like: *cut*
That's a picture of him.
You agreed with 6 out of 8 of my points. You do the same things. As I was reading I was about to say, this guy sends me emails when the hot, also expensive ish is. If I walk into Thomas Pink during the yearly sale, i'm likely to see THIS guy in there with shirt I hid two weeks ago behind the tie rack with it in his hand…
Real talk, a man who does not believe in a nice suit, shined shoes and trimmed hair and nails is a loser. Showing up to any place club, work, or church with, this "simple old" shirt on… is unacceptable.
My grandmother said, make your bed, because you never know what might happen out there to you and they find a dirty bed. My father said shine your shoes because that's the first thing a woman sees. (I have had three barbers my whole life. My dad, my boy in college, and now myself… unless I gotta do something and my mother demands I have someone cut my hair.) I think what i'm talking about is show some pride and appreciation in yourself. Love yourself, and it will be rewarded.
Son, you did me dirty with that pic. I might have to put a real pic of myself up just to redeem myself.
The fact that I somewhat agreed on some of the stuff is true. I didn't fully cosign though. I don't spend an hour in front of the mirror and I choose clothes pretty fast. I rarely take more than an hour to get ready.
I think it's the impetus behind it though that I was disagreeing with. You seem to be doing all this stuff because you want people to "Lookie Looky". That's a little silly to me. I do it because I don't know any other way to be, I couldn't care less who's watching.
Oh and, while Thomas Pink is cool – I prefer Charles Tyrwhitt. His shirts fit me better.
Ya slim dudes make me madd. Being able to wear all the cool designers. I'm relagated to the dudes that have a big XXL or XXXL. Jos A. Bank makes the best, stay cool shirts
The pic was dirty… i'm sorry.
Half of me feels like if we at the same place it doesn't matter how we got there.
"Nobody goes to Hooters for the wings." – Chris Rock
But the other half believes, some people go to the gym to stay in shape, and others go strictly for aesthetic reasons.
Is it just me or does it seem like Jos A Bank tries to give away the whole damn store when they are running a sale?
"Buy 1 for full price…get half of the next one, and the next 17 items are FREE! This weekend only!"
Only reason I'm mad about it cuz they only run those sales when I gotta pay house n car notes n sh*t.
And who shops at the mall? What you buying Armani Exchange? Coach?
Depends on what you're into.
Mall, online, boutique stores, famous strips (Rodeo, 5th Ave) To me the trick is to find shyt that looks great and doesnt cost much.
If you hvae to buy though, make sure you cop 4 real!
"To me the trick is to find shyt that looks great and doesnt cost much."
thats where i'm at with it too.
One thing I picked up from my girl is to always shop. I used to drop $1000 at a time shopping but there would always be stuff that I needed. Now I spend $50 here and $100 there and put together a really nice, well rounded wardrobe
**In Jewish Eddie Murphy Voice** Ah Ha!
Always shop. Plus always shop out of town cause when you get back bammas won't have what you bought and can't get it. Always read GQ and you'll see sh*t before it hits the stores or you can order from other cities.
I think the trick is to buy really good stuff – which is usually really expensive, and then accentuate that with not so expensive stuff. Jeans are a good example. People spend 3/400 dollars for whatever jeans are "in" right now, when, Levi's to end jeans are better qualith and about 1/3 the price. Spending money on a pair of jeans is silly. A suit however, is another monster. There's no way around spending money on a good suit, and a good tailor to make that suit look custom. Same with shoes. You have to spend money on shoes, no way around it.
Overall, I'm a bigger believer in, "you get what you pay for". Sure, H&M has some good looking stuff, but, you can only wear it for a season, and you're gonna see someone else with it. That's why I don't shop in malls.
To be real though, you can find a lot of people rockin the same stuff in this internet age….
Another trick is shoppin in other states… I got certain spots in MIA, LA, etc where I can cop clothes that I know people in NYC wont have… usually works too.
Let me be clear, I shop in stores because I want to get that new new ish that hasn't made it to the department store yet. However, if you are trying to assemble an outfit, sometimes you gotta go to the mall. It's everything in one…
Plus we have this thing in the DMV called "Up Against the Wall" and basically they put all the designer ish in one place, so I don't have to run around town trying to get all the brands I want.
Sidenote, I walked into work this morning and seen this lady with some 5-inch Ed Hardy heels on. She got them joints because everyone would see the Ed Hardy print and think she was balling… it was such a fail.
"UP AGAINST THE WALL" ??!!
That's A BUPPIE DON'T!
CONSIDER THIS YOUR WARNING DR.J!
truer words have never been spoken. dudes can lie all they want to but out of your list they probably do at least half of those things. me? i probably fit 8 of them. i probably don't do the whip thing going to the club (yep i'll pull right up to the front in my accord) and pop bottles (ish is just dumb to me).
i'm kind of vain. i can admit that. i think i'm the ish. if you don't think that i am too, then in my mind you have the problem and not me. *shrug*
"Not having a haircut is a reason to not do something."
i've been known to do this a lot in the past before i starting cutting my own hair. now i cut my hair twice a week. lol.
good job son on this post. if you don't think you're great then who else will? i even wrote a post about how awesome i am:
http://tiny.cc/cz52w
Oh OK. Just sounded funny to me cause I've never really considered renting anything to go to the club in. I mean don't get me wrong. I had a lot of fun stuntin in the club when I was younger but just never took it to that extreme.
And to piggyback off my point, to address what too many of you men have said,
"Pull a chick off a smile and nice personality."
Negro please, I can do that too. But I may be able to pull a solid 6 off of that, hell I probably can pull a 10. However, if I can pass the class without trying, i'm still trying to get my A+, so i'm putting the extra effort in. Any dude who gets ready in the morning and says, "This'll do." That's the exact same you get back. You might have got wifey with that behavior, but think about what you would have gotten if you TRIED.
Nice analogy.
Not to speak for everyone, but I believe what we're trying to say is that you're putting too much effort in.
While you're buying an apple for the teacher, staying after class to wipe the boards, clapping the erasers and asking what additional reading there is to be done in order to get that A+, all we're doing is the work and at the end of the day – we're getting the same grade.
But while you're doing all that for the teacher, I'm smoking underneath the bleachers with the lead cheerleader and putting my hand up her skirt.
You get me?
I get you. Only because I know the lead cheerleader rarely has nothing going for her, and she's tricking until she can get some noodle to pick her up and marry/impregnate her. Usually… that ends up being the guy who goes on to coach JV football and teach PE. Or maybe he just hangs around under the bleechers forever.
My teacher is currently writing all my college essays.
While I completely understand what your saying and you might open yourself up to a whole knew echelon of females with the time and exorbitant spending … I just gotta think there are better things to spend it on.
We're not saying you shouldn't look good … but you gotta draw th line somewhere. An hour a day is about 15 days a year. Them 15 days you spent looking in the mirror, I done increased my net worth.
Started this blog in less than 15 days.
why is my comment in moderation? i cry foul.
You prolly said p*ssy or sh* … clean ur mouth out.
touche`
To be honest, I always have what I call my "Club Shoes." They are never my best most expensive shoes. They are nice shoes I don't mind getting stepped on.
Cosign. My best shoes go w/ suits. NEVER WILL I EVER WEAR A SUIT IN THE CLUB. So i have shoes that I deem club appropriate
I will say this… People dress better to go to the club than they will for Jesus.
b/c people in the club actually talk back to you
#justsaying.
Yeah my best shoes are usually my Hugo Boss sh*ts that start around $250. Dam if Imma wear dat sh*t in a club to impress some brawds and ni99az that wouldn't know a good shoe if it kicked em the @ss."
Depends on the club and why you're there. If it's a regular friday night flex, obviously, no suit. But if it's an event, held at a club a suit my be called for. You wouldn't wear a 100% wool suit to the club. Maybe a blend. I have two suits that are specifically "going out" suits. Would never wear them to anything business related. Same with shoes.
It's always funny to see people wearing business suits at a party or in the club.
Suits (even the expensive ones) i just dont find to be comfortable. I feel constricted. Too many layers. I'm hot. There are some events that are formal, i'll wear a suit, other than that nahh chill
i feel you on half ya points… i used to care about my shoes/sneaks…the first…3 weeks..after that, nope lose interest
Mirror? an hour? you mean 60 minutes, or a long time? i mean, i'll stop and inspect myself for…5 seconds…make sure the snot's out my nose…then i'm out the door
but i'm more of a commoner. right now, i'm more worried about getting to a level where i can dress (somewhat) like you..no dis.
so for now, i make due with, and accept, my commoner style.
*being an undercover superhero doesn't pay bills*
I can not co-sign this post.
Nothing against you Dr J, most of my best freinds are JUST like you. But I just don't spend my disposable income on clothes.
The one thing I will co-sign is keeping a fresh cut. Here in NY, a fresh line up defines your life. And no one does it better than dominicans. Right now I'm trying bring back the s-curl.. so I don't get it cut as often. Or just ask the Russians to do it for the cheap.
Cheekz Money has been found! Hope the search is going well.
And – I feel you on the whole "is this a good use of my dicretionary income" train of thought.
This whole post reminds me of an incident this past weekend at a fight party:
A young looking couple walks in, she has a cute little outfit with stilettos and low maintenance (but still adorable) hair. He has a perfectly coifed fro-hawk, sunglasses and is kinda ridiculously coordinated (it was like a punk suburban hybrid look that involved a pinky ring, watch, wallet chain, etc.)
Guess who sat comfy watching the fight while his girl shifted her weight from foot to foot right behind him?
I cannot support Diva Dudeness. Look nice if you want, but if you take more time to get ready than I do, arrange an "entrance" for yourself, spend money on bottles so that you can be seen and call around to find the best whip to be seen in – this is the official definition of "doing too much".
I make a pretty good living and so does my dude. But even with our combined incomes that kind of ballin' seems foolish. After retirement, savings, investments and regular ole bills……there's no room to bottle pop just so some club rats can ooh and ahh.
But I'd gladly take that money to the spa. Or the Bahamas, lol.
Sh*t, or to my "pharmacist"…drop 100 there, give Mrs. Steele the rest and get her an appt to the spa….
Sittin on factory 16's….CLEAN
You know I'm trying to be propper now…but I know what you mean.
My favorite old quote from my homegirl (whos DMX impression is more funny because she looks and sounds like a dayum bunny): "Roll up! Tryin' to get high."
Still a very popular quote in my household. It will never get old!
He has a perfectly coifed fro-hawk, sunglasses and is kinda ridiculously coordinated (it was like a punk suburban hybrid look that involved a pinky ring, watch, wallet chain, etc.)
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Phaaa. LOL. Sounds like he looked like the manequin in the window at Up Against the Wall.
Oh, and did I hear correctly that you shop at Up Against the Wall? This explains so much.
Actually I put that in there because I wanted to establish a bond with my reader… I rarely shop at Up Against the Wall…
I actually shop at very few places because I like the fit of very few designers and brands.
I have a shopper at Nordstrom's. I shop at Neiman Marcus online. I like Bloomingdale's in the city. Other than that, those are about the only department stores I can be found in. In DC, I can get most of my shopping done in Georgetown, and I don't mean the mall.
Can someone tell whoever runs that mall that all the stores that are on that block should be in the mall, and all the stores that are in the mall should be banished from existence…
Up Against the Wall is still open? I wouldn't know they don't have em down south…that was my high school spot for the lay-be-els. LOL.
gosh I wanted to work there so bad for a discount…
Shoot, if I remember correctly they used to have the pa tapes from the go-gos too. I think there might be one in Iverson mall.
Yes the one at Iverson Mall is still open. Dat jont been there since the early 90s. Like 20 years. Back in the day it really was the sh*t. They used to have all the best sh*t. Matter fact Iverson Mall in general was the sh*t back in the 80s and early 90s.
wait, iverson mall is still standing? i would have thought it went down with capital plaza and landover mall.
You sure your not thinking bout PA Palace?
Yeah, she's definitely talking about PA Palace. Iverson Mall still exists because there's still a need for people to shop there. I let them live, I am from uptown so I never go on the southside anyway.
Y'all are right – it wa PA palace. I think the last time I was in Iverson Mall it was still there, lol.
Another trick is shoppin in other states… I got certain spots in MIA, LA, etc where I can cop clothes that I know people in NYC wont have… usually works too.
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I said the same thing but two of my comments are stuck in moderation for some reason.
Admin Note: Most times comments end up in Dante's Purgatorio (moderation) because they have curse words or sexual language. We love everyone the same, but we get blocked at some people's jobs so we try and keep it easy. I do check throughout the day to edit comments and push them out.
I lied… I love Anna N. a little less.
Now why would you love me less. I don't love you any less for having a personal shopper do I?
Wait….do I??? lol.
Jos A. Bank makes the best, stay cool shirts
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Aw man I thought I was the only one that knew. Everything I bought at Jos A. Banks for work has found its way into my casual rotation. They make some versatile sh*t.
But I feel you on the designer stuff. When I was young my favorite club gear was Versace shirts. But if you know anything about Versace you can't wear that stuff unless you are slim.
Happy Tip of the day:
Hypebeast.com is a great site to stay up on trends/fashion adn see what the next move is fashion wise before it even drops
also try fantasticman.com and tweetandvelvet.com
i also like the sartorialist from GQ's personal wesbite
*takes note*
thank you sirs..lol
***bookmarks all these sites***
wait, iverson mall is still standing? i would have thought it went down with capital plaza and landover mall.
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Iverson Mall aint goin anywhere. Basically the mall caters to young people, babies and females. That's enough to sustain it for years. It serves its purpose and its in a great location unlike Capital Plaza and Landover Mall. Plus Capital Plaza and Landover Mall were both poorly designed and never remodeled. Landover Mall had to be the darkest mall I've ever seen. Funny how times change. I can remember before Pentagon City; Iverson and Landover were the best places to shop.
i remember when landover mall had a movie theater. i used to go there to get all my rugid wear and ddtp (designer discount trading post if you didn't know) gear.
this whole post had me LMAO!!! i also LOVE how the comments turned into a "hit up this site.. stay fresh homie" awww.. each one, teach one n sh*t..
i knew that men were vain, but had NO idea as to the extent.. yes, i have a couple that validate that facebook has ruined many a good outfit.. the only one that i can co-sign (being a woman and all) is that i won't go out if my hair isn't alright.. this doesn't happen often cuz in a pinch i can rock the "wavy" look.. but if the hair ain't together, it doesn't matter HOW the face looks..
i know i'm not alone in that one.. we're all like peacocks.. tryin to put our feathers out there.. however, i will say that while i may notice what you have on and realize "hey, i like his style.." what come sout of your mouth is the next thing.. and if that's garbage, then it doesn't matter what you have on..
not only that, but i can pretty much decipher the "looky lookie" attitude from across the room and won't pay it any attention.. i'm not sure what all the bottle poppin is for.. i'm mostly annoyed that you figured THAT was the way that you wanted to spend your money.. as my mom would say "you drink it, then you p*ss it out.. what's the point?!" when you could've kept it and we could've gone out for a nice evening somewhere… and made memories THAT way..
but that's my humble opinion..
"i also LOVE how the comments turned into a “hit up this site.. stay fresh homie” awww.. each one, teach one n sh*t.."
Like yesterday's post turned into an entire conversation recommending favorite alcohol.
Eff clothes. I left the office, the market was down 900. I cross the street its at 700, I walk into the gym its 500. Now its 250ish. "I can't get jiggy to this sh!t"
Just curious how does the dow effect you playboy?
This explains everything.
Being partially a Wharton grad, most of my friends work in finance so many of our conversations are about finance. I also interned in finance throughout college so i tend to watch the market. Does the dow directly affect my job? Naw. #publicsector swindle. Does it indirectly very much so. I work for a city agency which finds ppl jobs, processes UI benefits, and general city wide economic development
Sorry I had to dip off for a minute folks. Got a little crazy on the street. Don't know who follows the market but…the dow dropped 1000pts in 10 minutes and closed down 350 because a trader (at a bank which I will not mention) allegedly incorrectly booked a "B" for billion instead of an "M" for million on a trade. I say that to say… I may not be popping any bottles anytime soon.
There seems to be a lot of anti-bottle popping sentiment going on on this site. I'm taking a stand. There are valid reasons to pop bottles. Here's an example. A few weeks back, me and my boys went to Vegas to celebrate. Saturday night we went to Prive, now, we called ahead the day before because we didn't wanna be "those guys" standing on line for mad long looking helpless.
Here's the breakdown.
If you bought tickets before, it was $40 to get in.
At the door, $60 before midnight, 80 after.
There were 7 of us. 7x$40 = 280.
Drinks were probably going to be 13 each (not sure, we popped bottles, so I didn't buy any)… you can round that up to 15 with obligatory 2 dollar tip.
We got the club around 12:30 and stayed till about 4:30am. That's 4 hours. I must have a drink in my hand at all times in the club, so, to be in there for 4 hours, I'm gonna need at least 10 drinks. I have a high tolerance though, so let's say my crew averaged 8 drinks each though – 7*8*$15 = 840.00 – you figure at least 1 round of shots – that's another 105 – now we're up to $945.00 on drinks plus another 280 for the entrance fee and we're at $1245.00 all in for the night – that's $1245 to wait on line for an hour, walk in with the common folk, and then have to wander around the club aimlessly like all the rest of the sheep.
Instead, we bought a Magnum bottle of Grey Goose for 1200 (including tip), G'd the waitress into giving us 2 rounds of shots for free (tasted like bottom shelf Tequila but whatever), got walked into the club by scantily clad "hosteses" with these bright, noise making, light twirling shaker things, bypassed the line, and had prime real estate in VIP… for 4 hours. That's a win. That's when it pays to pop a bottle.
I dont know what bank it was but I have an eerie feeling it was citi. I was confused as hell when I saw P&G dropped lol
http://www.thestreet.com/story/10749261/1/did-tra…
If I was you, I wouldn't have even explained that to anyone. Out here in DC, and this is why they say I always roll with clears. I will go to the club, 10 deep and think to myself, we about to pay $20 to get in there, and then spend maybe $50 on drinks each. Why not just get the $500 table? Now when you say $500 to a cheapazoid, they are like that's a lot of money! Lest I hold you too long, you have opportunist, they cheap as fell anyway. They go in the club to try and find a free drink or a swindle. They are also the ones who ask, "How much is a Long Island?"
If you have to ask how much, you shouldn't buy it.
"now we’re up to $945.00 on drinks plus another 280 for the entrance fee and we’re at $1245.00."
o_O
I'll wait.
that's a hell of a math equation!! very well thought out.. i WILL say that in this age of "women in free, reggins still pay" it REALLY is a financial issue for a dude if he wants to go out and have a good time… don't even talk about parking!! #southbeachisanono
I think smart men do a quick CBA before they enter the club. When you're going to a popular, "ThePlaceToBe" type spot and having a good time is more important than you're budget, alot of times, it makes more sense to just buy a bottle.
As always, Hov said it best…
"Better adhere to the text fore you go
broke, spending more than you've acrued on silly baguettes, I know silly begets silly, you'll learn on your own, at least my conscious is clear I'm no longer steering you wrong, Aint nothing wrong with baguettes AFTER you get home…"
I feel u on…not going out unless you get a cut. If I havent been to the salon that day……I'm staying in!
i cosign the entire damn post. yall calling Dr. J a diva but all of you know gottdamn well you would not leave the house looking ratchet. Now what my differ between Dr. J and the most of the readers is the level they feel comfortable leaving the house. Personally i will not leave the house if my hair is not on point because last thing I want is the next female upstaging me in the club or giving me the side eye ( yea a bit shallow but it's just me). I like to spend hours getting dressed but want it to look effortless like i wake up up looking like that, yea i'm crazy lol but that's my opinion
Is it just me or does it seem like Jos A Bank tries to give away the whole damn store when they are running a sale?
“Buy 1 for full price…get half of the next one, and the next 17 items are FREE! This weekend only!”
Only reason I’m mad about it cuz they only run those sales when I gotta pay house n car notes n sh*t.
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Here is the thing. Everything in Jos A. Bank is overpriced. You should never shop there unless there is a sale. The thing is they have sales all the time and give away crazy coupons. You have to be on the mailing list. They have crazy sales where everything is marked down by like 40% at least every other month. They actually do really well with this buisness model. Just read where there stock is up and they are expanding.
Reading this makes me glad that I live in Brooklyn…home of the black bohemian and natural hair. anything goes!
I'm amazed at the amount effort we put into some BullShi^t but when it comes to doing something important like investing starting a business etc, we never seem to have the time or money
I'm not trying to be cute for these Ho^s, the B^tch ya'll is trying to impress is just as Broke as you.
Fu^k riding in a truck just to ride wit ya boys, I ONLY fu^k wit coupes and converts ya'll n^ggas can follow me.
And I'm riding solo (me & don julio
so I can take a B^tch home wit me. Just enough room for a playa & a freak.
Ya'll need to step off that Kayne mickey mouse Sh^t and get some balls bout yaself.
All that $h^t ain't necessary for da h^es man it don't take all that.
I'm in blk tshirt jeans and blk AF 1's and I can get in any club/lounge/ grown & sexy required BS or not.
If she like you man it don't matter what ya wearing or driving that sh^t will get em but it won't keep em!
I read your comments and although I could give a lengthy and delightfully condescending response, I won't.
You can learn a lot from someone who's excellence in the english language is showcased best in his ability to use n*gga and b*tch as his only nouns, and f*ck as his only verb.
Didn't I just mention on the last post about how petty B^tches was about other women having on their same outfit.
And out came the "I'm not like that, not me uh huh, I"m not that type of woman"
Now look at all the ones talking bout it!!!
Whether you buy it at a boutique & mall etc FOOL somebody else is gonna have it on.
If ya so damn baller wit it just get ya clothes custom made, nah didn't think so.
You buying one outfit is not keeping the designer in business.
"Only POOR people put on a show"