"How do I get a man by tomorrow" ... Uh ... Escort Service?
I am not a doctor. I am not a spiritual adviser. I am not a relationship expert. I am not your daddy. I hold no certifications in psychiatry, consulting, or relationship advice.
What am I then?
I am a man. I am someone who has participated in the dating “game” for many years. I am someone who has proven he can keep a serious girlfriend. I am someone who thinks about dating … a lot. I am articulate. I am someone who is willing to admit they don’t know everything.
I don’t know why, but I recently thought back to why I started this blog, why I took the time and money to start writing about relationships on a daily basis and assemble a crack team of experts guys with opinions. And basically … at the time … there was a void.
Relationship advice is dominated by women and directed toward women. There are magazines where women attempt to tell other women about what men like. These “experts” know what kind of s*x I like, what parts of a woman I find attractive, and what I look for in a future mate.
One problem … you’re not a man.
When it comes to relationships and love, the opinion and thoughts of men matter. I mean … we do make up one half of the relationship. Our thoughts aren’t anymore important … but they are as important. I felt that there was a lack of men willing to provide women with some insight into our minds. Someone needed to let it be known how men think.
But here is the kicker … we can’t speak for every single man alive.
Yes, I only have a staff of a few guys (and a girl) writing. One of us likes natural & short hair, one likes Latinos, some are Greek, some pledged the wrong purple thong wearing organization, some us hate weaves, and some of us aren’t single right now. We can’t even agree among us … so how can we represent the views of every single man alive?
We can’t … and don’t.
But … I don’t think we are that far off …
So how do you use this blog and others? How do you read the information and bullsh*t opinions that we provide and actually get some useful information? Easy …
Don’t just listen to us
There are many smart and intelligent men in your life (hopefully) and on the internet blogging too. We don’t all agree. Listen to, talk to, and read many people and start making your own opinion. You are smart and capable (otherwise you wouldn’t be an SBM reader) and you can make sense of the mess.
Read the comments
I always say that a lot of the best advice comes from the comment section. If there is one thing us relationship blogs do is promote conversation. There may not be a bunch of other forums you will get up to 100 strangers to help you down the bumpy road that is dating.
Make a comment
Don’t be scurred! By participating you will find real gems of info. Sh*t … you might make a friend or a new cut buddy boyfriend.
Ignore us sometimes
I’ve already admitted that we are not always right. And sometimes I’m just really really wrong. And every once in awhile the weight of life gets to me and I vent with a post that might not be the most logical thing. Don’t be afraid to call out my bullsh*t … it kinda turns me on (if you’re cute).
Just a few basic steps to ensure you make the most out of this blog and others. You, the reader are the reason we do this. We love you (I mean that sh*t) and making sure you get something out of all the work we put is in important.
What did I miss? How on point is this advice? Are there any key “SBM is on that bullsh*t today” indicators that you wanna share (I wanna hear this BADLY)?
– SBM aka Your favorite blogger’s favorite blogger aka Just a Man
I agree… you all do give a glimpse of what some men like and do. I think that is tons better than not having anything at all. Too bad we can't pack y'all up and have you in our pockets like an application on our phones. That would help us single women save a lot of time, energy and heartache. And maybe, just maybe, keep guys at the standard that they SAY they uphold when they first meet a woman.
You might be on to something with that phone application idea…
**Makes a call to a team of developers in India.**
royalties, please and thank you! lol!
Oh what I'd do if I had these menz in my pocket at my beck and call.
*filthy fantasies flood my mind*
I enjoy this site, it keeps me on my toes. It helps me see how things are viewed from a male and female perspective.
Oh btw, when I first logged on the Thanksgiving post was still up, and I had to hit the home SBM logo to get to this post. Perhaps that's why there are so few comments up right now…either that, or everyone else is still on vacation from Thanksgiving.
But honestly, I enjoy the different perspectives and even the rants. SBM is a lot of fun.
The advice is extremely on point but despite your efforts there are crybabies yelling at
youtheir screens, WHY? because your word is believed to be bond. The gateway to what makes all men tick. The key to a woman's success in being with a man, f*cking a manand his friends. A lot of readers fail to realize this is just another opinion (but experience) based blog. And they'll never completely understand until they make and have their own. Experiences & opinions that is. Not a blog.Cuz everyone wants to be a friggin writer now #noshotsI appreciate what you all do, as far as blogging goes and providing how you feel on many topics. I've mentioned it from time to time. Keep it up. (pause)
I definitely prefer relationship blogs such as this that claim to be the view of SOME men, as opposed to other things that I've seen that claim to be the end-all view of how all men in the world think.
LMAO @Suki… I like this blog and yes I cosign an app feature for SBM a few blogs actually have an app, why not one I could actually use?
The problem is your blog is hella popular and can't always read all the comments. As I like to read things cover to cover. That is how I like to read blogs… but I am in the process of growing my business, moving, looking for work, tread the dating waters, networking Mon- Fri, raise my kid and return to college after a few yrs hiatus I can't! Damn I am tired!
Keep it coming I will catch up….eventually…..
"Keep it coming I will catch up….eventually"
#twss lol
I thought I was the only one. Comments after 100 make my eyes water
love the blog but once everyone starts talking, I shy away
Wait – which one of you likes natural & short hair??
THIS is what I would like to know
*LOL
When I read that I couldn't help but to give that a Crazy side-eye and a Yeah right whateva dude……
Yeah as one of the authors of this site would say, I'm calling shenanigans.
Yea, I read that twice too… but then I got to thinking maybe it wasn't support be natural & short hair like a TWA (teenie weenie afro) but two different styles… natural (aka no weave) & short hair (ala Halle Berry or Wendy Raquel Robinson).
Slim wrote a whole post about it.
*sigh* … and I thought ya'll were fans
Dude. You guys have 99999999 posts on here. We can't be expected to remember every single one! <del>Especially if we don't have short or natural hair and therefore the topic has no relevance to us.</del>
http://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/09/22/hair/
So medium and long-haired girls immediately click away if they see "short-hair" in a title? That's……..interesting.
The hair topic, regardless of the angle taken (pause), is comparable to the light-skin v. dark-skin debate. Errbody has an opinion. Yes, I replied to a strike-through.lol.
In all seriousness though, it boggles my mind some women find it so hard to believe that a man that writes here would go for a short hairstyle on a woman. The same can be said for the thoughts on the kissing post.
I smell self-fulfilling prophecy…
I remember this post now. I had just forgotten about it.
By the way, I really don't expect you to have read every single thing. You got your own blog and you frequent a few others. Your strike-through just triggered my fingertips. Pause?
I was only kidding with my strikethrough. I have natural hair so of course I cared your post
i'm natural but i don't have short hair…long hair doesn't look good on everyone though, same goes for short hair…regardless #NaturalHairRocks!
Comedy!
I start my day with Email, CNN, SBM …seriously.
I skim down the comments and read, depending on how busy my day is.
I take some advice, and leave the rest….
At the end of the day, it's all an alternate perspective that I appreciate.
Bravo!
Co-sign.
You guys know I love the site (it usually is the first online stop in the morning). While I think most of the advice is on point, I am more than aware that it doesn't cover all men and all situations.
I may have missed something, but who is the girl (woman) writer?
I thought Max or Miss Jenkins but that's 3ways… :-X
Ahem.
I didn't realize that it had been made official and whatnot. There was no announcement that I was aware of and my twifey clearly never tells me nuffin. *pouts*
Congratulations! *pops e-champagne and throws e-confetti everywhere*
Well actually maybe he's not talking about me, now that I think about it. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself :-/
Damn… what are yall WikiLeaks
Max… :-X
**Schedules press conference for Friday**
Yeahh.. Cuz max was here a few times more than a reg guest post thing. ^_^
In our defense, SBM did kinda leak something first, we just asked for clarification.
Let me say it so Streetz doesn't have to….
smh.
SBM has become my daily fix. I don't go a day — schedule permitting — without checking out the blogs and comments although I may not have time to add my 0.02cents but since stumbling across this website back in April it has helped me to better understand the Alpha Male whether on a comedic level or one of the writers is on his Emo type flow that day.
KUDOS!!!!!
I decided to comment today…hehehe..I love this site!
SBM: "I am not a doctor. I am not a spiritual adviser. I am not a relationship expert.
I am not your daddy.I hold no certifications in psychiatry, consulting, or relationship advice."And that is exactly why the advice and dialogue here is more salutary than one would receive from the so-called "experts".
As with any form of media; print, video, internet etc. etc. it is important to remember that the writers generally represent only a demographic sliver of a population.
Whether we are talkin SBM, the Root or MSNBC etc.etc….you are typically getting opinions composed by a set of writers with similar traits. There is actually much more diversity in the comments section.
The demographic of SBM writers seems to be:
Black Male, 24-35, College Graduate, from middle class, PW University, K-12 private school, Single, No Kids, Fraternity Member, Income $40K-$90K, Conservative Independent and Republican
This demographic if correct is only a sliver of the black male population so it would stand to reason that the opinions stated here can't possibly speak for all black men.
I totally agree! Yeah, if someone is logging in reading and taking everything they are reading to heart, as the ‘gospel’ , they could potentially be seriously screwed, and are possibly naïve, and gullible. Hopefully, no one is ever taking any one man’s/or woman’s perspective on anything, and making a summation that it applies to all. You take it, consider what you read, hopefully draw from your own experience and incorporate it into how it applies to your life, or how it doesn’t matter at all, because it just might be nonsense. And have a few laughs in the process. But I do enjoy reading and I am glad I found this blog!
@JustTheT , as you can see you step in the wrong arena. There is a blog family here. Who like what they read. And your Daddy has nothing to do with a writers and readers haven. If you would like to suggest a topic to talk about, then get your grown and sexy on or Biggie GirlL(Be an Adult). And just request a topic. There is no need to go looking for trouble because you didn't get something you wanted!Hey,you can chat it up with me for more interesting converstation.Like, A real man has no color.lol I bet you didn't know that! If not, you could kick rocks! It's just a suggestion. "smooches:&".
I admit that SBM takes up a portion of my morning. (can't say how much).
I visit often because other than this site and a brother, I have no male friends. This site gives me a glimpse into some male minds (other than my husband) and I truly appreciate it.
I enjoy reading and I feel as if my opinion will not be taken too personal. I don't have to co-sign with everything that is posted and so I’m all in.
Im glad I missed the attempt to troll by Just T-Dickhead or else I wouldve deleted his social security number. Lil Kim.
I have nothing more to say than **clap clap**
And I like guys who like natural girls
What Little Miss Sunshine said!
I just realized that I take a lot more time reading the comments than the blog. Commenters are complex & hilarious & almost as much of a draw as the bloggers (sometimes) … I think my only exception would be at the blog site that I go on to kick up dust & start/continue some drama cause of someone making a TOTALLY objectionable comment (or objectionable IMO).
Anyway … I've started coming here more; for some reason people around here r less annoying.
Yup I read and do the opposite, lol.
Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany
redbonegirl97@yahoo.com
"Not to mention the fact that you’d have to be an idiot to take advice from black men regarding relationships…Sorry, but come on. If my father wasn’t white I wouldn’t know a thing about how a real man was suppose to be. Thank God."
Normally I'd address this, but seeing as how I gave up feeding trolls for Lent this year I'll give someone else the pleasure…..
http://www.ragecry.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03…
& their job is based on the experiences of others… so your point would be?
Just The T, I have no idea who referred you to our blog, or if you are a regular reader who decided to comment with such offensive and racist comments today. However, you're not welcome in these parts. If you don't like a blog or the material you are reading, I think you should enter another site's address into your address bar.
There is no country for people who just are going to be negative especially when they're wrong.
JustTheT: "Except with the experts; they are most likely doing their job and making opinions/reasons and such based on not just their own personal, bitter experiences. Like all the ghetto bloggers."
Doing their job, based on what? Just because someone calls themselves an "expert" and gets paid to write about "their own personal, bitter experiences" doesn't mean they are any more accurate than the writers or commenters here.
And I see the FLYY One beat me to it.
What's wrong with ghetto bloggers, the whole country is a ghetto now FYI. You just need to get ghettolious and have some fun. Let down your hair and be a Diva. You are far from perfect. Get over yourself and make a new friend "ME".Talk to you later!
Word like I had to re-read that shit to make sure I wasn't reading it right and taking it wrong… WTH!
smh