Johanisha Jones: “I don’t feel pretty.”
SBM: “What? Why would you say that?”
JJ: “My hair. Ever since I went natural, guys don’t hit on me like they used to.”
SBM: “I’m not surprised.”
JJ: “I hate this stupid European sense of beauty!!! Why does my hair have to be straight and flowing!”
SBM: “Well, that is one major reason, but I think there is more to it.”
JJ: “Excuse me?”
SBM: “I think a lot of guys are less likely to approach a natural hair chic … they aren’t as receptive.”
JJ: “EXCUSE ME!!!”
SBM: “Calm down, calm down. That isn’t sexy.”
JJ: “Why does me having natural hair make me less approachable?”
SBM: “Hoes have perms.”
JJ: **puzzled look**
SBM: “Think about the hoes you know …”
JJ: **puzzled look turning into understanding and anger** “Damn these hoes!”
Just to clarify … not all hoes have perms. And just because you have a perm … doesn’t mean you are a hoe.
Life is often (sadly) determined by stereotypes and preconceived notions. If you are black, someone might offer you some watermelon and chicken, and then assume you will curse them the f* out in an uncontrollable black rage. Al Sharpton. Yeah … stereotypes can suck, except for that free watermelon and chicken.
Lets take a second to define “natural hair wearers”. This is actually involves talks of the African Diaspora, the hair industry, and the European model of beauty. Since I have no desire to talk about all that sh* … we’ll just stick with Afro, Dreads, or a Caesar, looks that are free of chemical or heat processing. Basically … something that Erykah Badu or india Arie would rock. (Please let’s not focus on the definition)
In order to ascertain a set of stereotypes that apply to this group, I reached out to the official SBM Research Laboratory. An organization dedicated to improving relations between black men and women everywhere. After an extensive investigation process involving surveys, background research interviews, and talks with academics me sitting at a computer and thinking “hmmmm”, SBM RL has compiled the following list.
Connected to the struggle
High Self Confidence
High Value of Sense
The best way to think about this, use music. Think about the “hoes” of hip-hop. Lil Kim, Nicki Minaj, Trina … what kind of hair are they rocking. And when you think of the natural hair wearers, Badu, Arie, Jill Scott, what are they singing about? Pretty sure you are not gonna catch them on the “Freaky Gurl” Remix or yelling “5 Star B*tch”.
So what does this have to do with who guys approach?
Think about the average guy who is hitting on a girl … he wants p*ssy. Sure, he may be looking for a girlfriend and wife, but that usually isn’t a man’s first thought. That comes later. When he is yelling “hey you … with the ass” from across the street, he is trying to beat … not meet your dad.
Now, we all know that hoes loose women are more likely to give up p*ssy with little effort. And we know that guys don’t like rejection (don’t fight me on this one). So, when you think about men on the whole, they want to hit on more hoes than housewives. This reduces our rejection rates and makes sure we are smashing … constantly.
See how it all comes together now?
If a guy is trying to decide who to hit on in the supermarket, generally speaking, he is going to go for the easy win. And remember that hoes have perms? Knowing that a girl with natural hair is less likely to be a hoe, he is going to go for that.
And there you go … another SBM life-changing theory for the books.
The main thing you have to realize about this is we aren’t talking about the guys with scruples. Honestly, a guy like me prefers his woman with natural hair. Just thinking about some long dreads that go down the middle of a woman’s back … whew … man. The same qualities that may turn off the masses … only make me (and many like me … Slim Jackson) want her more.
I know someone reading this is mad. I know many people reading this might be mad … but stop, and think about it. Am I wrong? Is one of the reason that a dyme with a well kept mini-fro might not get as much play as her lye’d up friend is because of preconceived notions? Not saying it’s right, but is it true?