Don't try to call that number though.
When I first started writing for Single Black Male, I was a bursty blogger trying to get my name and my site’s name out there via a more established platform. That was back in 2008. It’s now February 2011 and I’m wondering how the hell I’ve written so many posts here and thinking about the additions to the staff since I’ve been on board with thee SBM. Doc, Streetz, and RCLS (he’s back) helped us bring home our 1st Black Weblog Award in 2009 for Best Sex and Relationships Blog. I remember how proud I was of the team and the people that took the time to support us and ensure we were recognized for our efforts. I remember the disappointment in 2010 when we didn’t even make the finals.
I also think about the readers. I mean…a site can’t be popular if nobody visits it. Anybody that disputes that has eaten one too many paint chips. Readers come and go. Correction, I mean commenters and lurkers come and go. Though commenters are the only ones we can actually see unless we dedicate our lives to monitoring IP addresses.
Commenters join the community, share in the dialogue, and basically become part of the family. Sometimes life gets hectic and they don’t have the time to kick it with us the way they used to. Others grow tired of what they perceive as revolving door discussions or off-putting topics and move on to another site. I understand, but I can’t help but to feel a bit disappointed when I see folks that used to be here everyday happily commenting elsewhere religiously. It’s like seeing an ex that you loved out with somebody else having the time of their life shortly after the breakup. Okay, it’s not that dramatic but I think you get the effect I’m going for.
If it’s true that it takes a village to raise a child, then it’s true that it takes an active base to develop a blog community. I won’t lie to you. I want us to be known. And when I say us, I mean the people that have been reading for days, months, or years first and the staff second. Once again, we aren’t anything if people don’t type in the url, read, re-tweet, and click the thumbs up to share our content on Facebook. Would it be great for me and the rest of the writers to get accolades? Yeah, it would. We work hard and have goals that we’d like to achieve. But honestly, I don’t know that we’ve been working hard enough on the right things.
Some people have called Single Black Male the fire starter. Others have called it controversy central. I don’t particularly care for either description because that’s not what I want the site to be. Anybody can light a match, publish a post, then sit back and watch the traffic roll in to see the inflammatory content. We (You included) want to be better than that. We want laughter, diversity of opinions, active debates, and ideas that can be taken away from the keyboard and into conversations with friends and family. We want an increasingly active community.
So basically we, the staff, want you, the community, to tell us how we can make this site better. We’re looking for thoughts and suggestions on what you would like to see on Single Black Male (A tool belt doesn’t count). How can we improve the experience so that more people join the daily discussions and support the moving of the movement? Camron.
Today is an open forum to provide us with feedback on the site. Think of it as a town hall meeting of sorts. Just understand that if anybody shouts “you lie!” that Nancy Pelosi might pop up on the left side of your screen and hit you with the side-eye from hell or we’ll just escort you from the building. In other words, blatant negativity won’t be tolerated. There’s a tactful way to say everything.
Anyways, we’re looking forward to your feedback and we’re more excited about implementing what we can moving forward. Let’s have a discussion about improvement so that Friday at least feels some type of productive wherever you are. (Note: Cosigning good ideas or thoughts is encouraged today.)
-Slim aka Slarack Jobama
My first suggestion is you not calling yourself Slarack Jobama. LOLLLL heart ya lots, Slim! lol
"How can we improve the experience so that more people join the daily discussions and support the moving of the movement?"
IDK, maybe publish a book on dating, mating and fighting crime? :0P
Lmao what a Jerk. Jk lol
I believe we should have less Eddie Brock. He keeps taking my business.
*snitches on Brock to Jackson Jonah Jamison*
Shots shots shots shots
For the record, they had success before the book. lol
LOL, no #shots intended. I love this site and sometimes it's a welcome respite from VSB when the kids over there get too wild in the comments section. Plus it feels more like family over here, especially with such a large DMV contingent.
Kudos to bringing back the "original flavor" comments section and I agree on the "let Max guest post idea". Just started reading her blog….pretty interesting to say the least.Wouldn't mind seeing a Starita or SFG guest post as well….
black on black crime continues
#shotsfired?
Have theSUNK.com write a guest post. Or start answering those anonymous relationship questions like Bossip or yo boys VSB. Other than that I check you alls site out daily. Maybe a new layout could make your site more interactive as well.
Great work nonetheless.
I dunno if I speak for some when I say I love that the old comment box is back. Test out some layouts or screenshot some layout ideas that would work. I can't think too much right now. But you're all doing spectacular.
p.s. a book WOULD be nice. I got Swindle tees and an Eff em one. Can I have a damn book?! Lol jk….kinda
No you speak fo many! I was pleased that you didnt commit to the change and listened to your followers!
I like the old comment box but I liked the new 'like" button. Can we get something in the middle? Lol.
Like enabled me to co-sign w/o having to type. Efficiency.
Like and co-sign!
honestly, the only thing i can come up with (at minutes to 2 in the morning) is maybe having some of the regular commenters come through with a guest post. Not entirely sure if you do that now (from what i've seen, you have guest posters, but…2-3)…maybe once a month, pull someone who frequently comments and see what they got.
Good idea!
I like that Idea as well. I wouldn't mind trying my hand at a post. I think everyone (who can spell) has at least one good post in 'em!
I co-sign this as well, I don't comment on the regular but i read and re-post religiously. The comments are extremly clever and the ones I enjoy I usually repost.. LoL. I think Starita, Beef Bacon, SmartFox or the mad scientiest could create a great post or 2
Make the bruhs read the blog.lol. Roo and sh*t.
Thanks 5thD Y3llow Que, I appreciate that.
Awww, thanks!! I'm cheesing in the office right now looking crazy. lol
Answering anonymous questions every once in a while would be nice.
Oh, I co-sign this comment. I love when you guys answer emails… or post a topic and then each of you answers it from your own viewpoint. Thats hot stuff.
cosign
I agree. Most people have the same questions. Have a box on the site where readers can ask questions and you answer within a post.
Great idea!
Yep…This one!
We definitely answer questions from time to time, but people don't be askin sh* (you love my grammar). I think the addition of a "SBM Honesty Box" would be cool. We do also have our email address available if you have question!
First of all, thank you SBM staff for returning to this format of commenting. My vote of “No” didn’t go to waste, so thank you for acknowledging the poll.
I enjoy this site because of its diversity. I laugh, sympathize, analyze, reflect, disagree, agree and empathize when I visit this blog. I’ve been a reader and commenter for two months and I don’t think this site can get any better. I’m not a heavy blog reader, but I continue to visit this blog because it’s a team of writers. Other blogs I’ve visited are written by one person. Having a team of writers is the advantage and what sets this blog apart from the typical blogs. I’ve also picked up on the demographics of this site. I visit the east coast often, but it’s interesting to read the experiences of those who live their. It has me thinking that the east coast is different, in some aspects, than the west coast in terms of male and female relations. I don’t have a Twitter or Facebook account, yet I don’t feel out of place when I read the conversations here. I’m pleased with the content and style of writing. Each writer’s content and style has its own personality. Only one writer’s content and style bothers me, which has resulted in me not visiting the site on that particular day. I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no hope for him and he’s a loss cause. I even like Max’s cameo to shake up things every now and then to rep for the females…You go girl!!! The comments are just as diverse and entertaining as the posts, which is another plus. I’m an expressive person and truly enjoy coming here to communicate what I think and feel.
Overall rating for this blog: 10/10
Seriously!
Much appreciated!
Nicely said. I enjoy Max's visits as well.
Oh thank you Amy!
i think i could guess what writer and what day that would be.
"I don’t have a Twitter or Facebook account, yet I don’t feel out of place when I read the conversations here"
I think that's a big advantage on this site. You tend to not feel left out of the discussion or like you're breaking in on a large group of really old friends.
Also, I love when Max stops by. You guys should have her here more often. #justsayin
i too vote more max.
yes.. i know it's sbM..but hey..
Oh thank you girls. Although I'm pretty sure those comments are automatically discounted because you're my friends.
@max..no one woulda known!! you blew my cover! lol.
*struts in max fan club tee proudly
Max rocks…*adjusts cloak and darkened sunglasses* and I'm not <del>just</del> her friend.
Christina
@ Em or dap em. what writer you talkin about? lol
Streets,
@ em or dap em:
Did you just bang on me? Over the internet? LOL.
I’m not putting his name in the comments section for everyone to see. I’ll just hit him up directly via email.
LOL
I dont know who "Streets" is, lol.. but naw, no e-bangin just sayin say the name lol.
Email is cool though…
Hey Streetz,
You don’t know who “Streets” is? Word on the street is you know him.
I apologize for misspelling your name. Won’t happen again Streets…I mean Streetz =)
If this is feedback Christina, then I think you got to @ em or dap em. Please let us know who that writer is who has forced you to not visit the site on a certain day.
It's also okay for folks to say positive things. If there are things you like in particular about the site, you can voice those as well (as seen above).
a positive thing is the rotation of different types of writers.
if you dont like how one writes, you dont have to ignore the blog all together, you can just skip a day! lol.
different writers, also means different perspectives and writing styles.
i come to the blog to read and learn about things from a black (fe)male perspective, and while i may not always agree, appreciate it nonetheless.
stay honest to yourself, genuine writers will always get more love!
"stay honest to yourself, genuine writers will always get more love!"
This says it all.
Good one fem-boo!
If you want it to be more of a community, there should be a way where when someone comments, you learn something about them. Like, for instance, if beside my comments, it could say my regions, age, etc. I understand there may be a downside of that because people may be pigeon-holed by their age. But, it would still make an interesting addition. Oh and if you find a way to do it, let me know cus I want to do it on my blog too. I've just been too busy to dedicate the amount of research I'd need to finding an appropriate, free/low cost solution.
A simple idea that could go a long way. *thumbs up*
I am actually new to the site, love it and I've told several people about it, who now visit regularly. I also like the fact there are several writers (love the humor, perspectives, etc). I think an occasional guest post would be nice. Occasional. I don't want anyone messing up the good mojo you guys have going.
I'm a luker. Visit the site every morning before I even check my work email #addict. I love the site, topics, layout, and even enjoy reading the comments and discussion on the topic. I have nothing negative to report
Although….I guess it's worth telling you which posts I like the best and which ones I tend to skim over. I LOVE the posts that list points (i.e. 5 reasons you're crazy, etc.). They tend to be the funniest and I find myself excited to read lol. It also creates a more approachable layout for your readers. Anything looking like an essay just reminds me of something at work I need to turn my attention to O_o.
But seriously though….have never disliked a post…there are just certain ones in a specific format that catch my eye and attention a bit more than others.
Yes. People tend to like lists, Slim. That's real popular over at other blogs. List the top 8 reasons for _______. Throw in some real, throw in some funnies too. It makes for a good read.
The issue of lists is an interesting split. Some people love them, others think they are a cop out for real writing with substance. I think a balance is nice though. Good thoughts.
yeah I'm not really a fan of lists. I really like more substantive posts. I feel like doing them all the time would just be kinda copycat-ing to be honest.
I think that joint posts among various writers (I think you and Miss Jenkins, and RCLS do this well on 3 ways) or even with a reg writer and a commenter would be good dialogue and provide a different perspective.
Well…I haven't been commenting here very long, maybe some months. I was told about SBM by another blogger, Nick@Nite. Before that, I hadn't heard of you so maybe link on other sites. Run ads on dating sites like pof.com and mate1, etc.
What drew me in? It surely wasn't the commentary, it was the content of your posts. While some sites put emphasis on starting fights or being funny, SBM I can relate to because what you talk about tends to be alittle more real and less sensational. It really is a guy's perspective to dating. The posts are thought provoking too which I like.
What I think you should change? Honestly, not much. The website is just fine. Other popular blogs don't have elaborate layouts so it's not that in my opinion. As far as your content goes, I would push the envelope more. Not stir the pot with that ridiculously lame Why Men like Fat Chicks post (with 95% of readers being black women that was a bad move in my eyes). I know it will be hard to balance out truth yet not be offensive but try not to offend too much because you will lose readers. If that "date insecure women" post wasn't a guest post and was written by you or the guys, I would have left SBM to be honest. I don't like anything that tears down women like that. Push the envelope by touching on real issues more candidly. The kissing post was nice. Talk about bedroom behavior, rejection, what a woman should do/are doing wrong when it comes to men. Be candid, bold and add some wit. Being witty is important. I like being able to dwelve deeper into issues while having an ocassional cackle at work. Blogs should be thought-provoking yet fun!
Lastly (yes I'm on a roll but you asked
), the comments section. The content of the post is just one part but the comment section will give life to a blog. The "community" is everything to me. That's what makes me want to comment in the first place. This is no shots fired, but the comments section here can be alittle stale at times. People comment but I don't see alot of back/forth with the commenters…like the "family" aspect you speak of where there's discussions within the comments section. I see some readers barely even put their thoughts on what you wrote but rather type a few sentences saying they agree. Maybe your readers are alot more passive. Stir it up in here by commenting more with your readers. Maybe it will engage them more. The comments section is really what will make this blog more of a community.
I feel like that was negative but it's not. I really like SBM. These are just suggestions.
I agree with your statements regarding the comments section SmartFoxGirl. The questions typically posed at the end of each post rarely get answered or discussed in the comments section from what I can tell. Maybe you pose too many questions for people to choose from *shrugs* I would be more willing to comment on the post or someone elses comment if it were focused more on…..the post.
And yes…..I could do better at commenting, I'd hate to make a suggestion and not help to find a solution. *raised right hand* "I'll do better"
And that is all we ask.lol
I agree. Like the site, but there's a fine line between tear down women and push the envelope.Sometimes you tip toe on the line.
I used to read frequently, but sometimes the tone of the posts is a little negative and overwhelming so I don't read as often. I'm not quite sure how else to describe it. I just know I don't read or comment as often as I used to, but every now and then I stop by and find something great.
i approve this entire comment.
yerp.
I cosign most of this. I've only been reading for a couple of months, but I definitely made it my mission to start from day one, so I've read over 90% of the posts on this blog. That said, the only time I started by-passing the comment section was when I found it was slowing down my progress. I was eager to get to the more recent posts and join in current discussions, as opposed to dropping comments on posts 2-3 years old. Sometimes, a post will not garner much of a reaction from me, but a comment will. Sometimes it's a particular comment that forces me to express my views more expansively, whereas I may have otherwise just dropped a line or two. I do feel as though it's a community, and I definitely agree that it would be more interesting if the writers (at least of the particular post that day) were to join in active discussion. I remember once posing a question elsewhere and although it wouldn't have taken too much time to respond, the author did nothing and was back at a new post the next day. I like the author and site, but it put me off somewhat and I withdrew my subscription. On here, my interaction is mostly with the commenters, so it allows me to ignore the fact that most of my comments addressing the writers directly have a high chance of being left unaddressed. I understand that they have lives to live, but it would be nice. I usually don't participate until late in the day, but I wouldn't mind seeing the authors interacting with the posters that were around during rush hour. Or popping in when life is less hectic and addressing things they may not have had a chance to earlier.
I liked what others said about you gents answering relationship questions emailed to you. Also, Max did a vlog (video blog) post the other day on her site and I promise I watched it like 3 times. It was hawt. It does help that Max is hawt
strictly dicklyand from what I am told most of you SBM writers are too…Also, I like the idea of more guest posts. I loved when I saw that NC17, Max and a few others joined the team. Keeps things fresh.
Slim, it is actually posts like this that have me hooked on your blogs. I commend you on always trying to improve and be better.
I think more female writer's guest posts would be a nice addition. I think a "Day in the life of…." post would help your readers connect with you/ the staff on a more personal level.
I'm all for letting people into my life a bit to show I'm a real person and not just an avatar. Did that on my site yesterday with my post about the singles events I attended. Love that idea.
How can we improve SBM? Hmmm…let me put on my digital marketing specialist hat for a moment.
You guys know you are my blogging idols and my patrons so I really only have two suggestions:
<del>1. Emancipate me from the Friday rotation and give me a weekly spot</del>
1. I think a big part of fostering the community feeling is for you guys to engage more with the members of the community. Readers and commenters want personal attention and I think part of that is you guys being more consistently responsive in the comments section.
It also extends beyond the blog itself; you guys have a lot of readers who follow you on twitter whom you don't follow back and it gives the message that you're only interested in talking to them without hearing what they have to say in return. I think if you guys want big discussions you need to be as participatory in them as your readers are.
2. I'd like to see you guys take more of a hard line on trolls and commenters who are disruptive and abusive. It's extremely off-putting as a regular reader and commenter to have to endure 20-plus ridiculous comments before they're shut down and it makes me just want to exit stage left because it just kills my vibe.
That's it!
Yeah, what Max said!
What she said!
On.The.Money.
*puts on the i love max fan club t-shirt.
Great points and double cosign to #1
I'm on board with 1 and 2.
As much as I love the guest posts, the truth is I prefer to have a regular poster in that Friday spot. I also think that having a woman (likely Max) be there. I love RCLS's disappearing, non-twitter azz as well, so I wouldn't be opposed to have those two rotate Fridays if you insist on keeping the woman down.
Yes, some of you guys are pretty scarce in the comments section of your own posts. I know that SBM is super busy and can't be up in the comments like that, but it does add an extra layer of "intimacy" that makes readers want to come back. Some others just don't comment much in here, despite seeing them commenting all over the interwebz. As far as Twitter goes, Max is on the money about following folks back. I understand that you can't follow EVERY single damn person, but I feel like your regular commenters would be easy enough to follow.
Streetz, can Starita get a follow, she will behave herself. It took me forevah to get you guys to follow backyoungin, whoo whoo.Also, those questions at the bottom of posts referred to somewhere up there ^^^^ are sometimes non-existent. More often than not, we're not left with a lot of leading questions to drive the discussion or at least get the car started. Engage us and ish.
All that said, I love y'all.
*dies at the petition for streetz to follow starita.
LMAO! LAWD NO!!! Oh SaneN you got a girl's back!
I do agree they should follow more followers for PR reasons, but don't follow <del>me</del> a person if you can't stand them…that's no fun for anyone. And ion't even want Streetz to follow me anymore, his avis are cruel and unusual punishment. #ThatBeardThough
<del>and no way would I behave myself</del>
i was gonna mention that too as well (you behaving)..but thought better of writing that out loud. LOL.
I know not of what you speak <del>strikethroughs didn't happen</del>
Good look on the Twitter thang! I mean, of course it ain't possible/easy to follow EVERYone when you get to have a huge number of followers, but at least your reglah readers or at the very least, reply when they @ you every so often… as much as you can. A little goes a long way.
Well, I can be a dissenter, but I liked the old "new" layout of the comment section. I think it's mostly because it was more horizontal, than vertical. It's hard to scroll through 50-11 comments to find a new one that someone wrote and to see exactly which reply is directed to whom by looking at the indentation. I'd prefer to see who replied to whom written out, rather than trying to decipher it.
As far as topics, I like the candid discussions and I like some posters more than others, but I'd like to see some posts by the ones who frequently have good comments or thought-provoking comments.
Also, I'd like to see a few positive-only posts. They can be from guest posters, but from those who are in successful relationships or successful dating ( I know that's an oxymoron). Or, what they've learned or something. Sometimes, it's a drain to read why BW suck or why BM suck or why Black-on-Black relationships are like learning how to drive on the opposite side of the road at night in a foreign country with no map, just a direction to follow (I've actually had to do that).
Some days, I want some easy-to-read and digest posts that are kinda feel good. At times, I come off here feeling like I felt after watching "Precious", "Pursuit of Happiness", or "For Colored Girls", it's reality, but it doesn't make you feel any better even when there's a little positivity. Maybe because I'm a girl and like pink bows and bunny rabbits, and I know this is written by men, LOL.
I do generally enjoy most of the topics here and I'm glad there is a team of you guys and I appreciate the guest posts as well. You do no doubt keep it real, so I can respect that.
YES. It can be emotionally exhausting. Especially once the whole why black women are single thing went viral. There was a "this is why black women/men suck" vibe in the air Sometimes there are too many reminders of what's "wrong" with us and not enough of what's right.
"Some days, I want some easy-to-read and digest posts that are kinda feel good. At times, I come off here feeling like I felt after watching “Precious”, “Pursuit of Happiness”, or “For Colored Girls”, it’s reality, but it doesn’t make you feel any better even when there’s a little positivity. Maybe because I’m a girl and like pink bows and bunny rabbits, and I know this is written by men, LOL."
I feel you, I'm the same way. I come here for truth from a man's perspective, but it's overwhelming sometimes. Sometimes I wanna hear success stories and acknowledgement that they know our struggle too (hmmmm, seems like a regular female writer may be able to help with that…*cough*Max*cough*). But when I get down, and say that they just don't understand and are beyond hope-I just reread this http://bit.ly/cYsjhc and other older posts….over and over….post and comments are a reminder of more positive days….
I like Disqus also. its used on other blogs I frequent and I find it useful to read in order of comments. oldest first and then switch to newest first if I revisit a site and want to see what's new. I don't do email subscriptions to comments personally because I read over a dozen blogs and that would clog my inbox.
Yo, Slim, I don't always leave comments but I get your blogs daily via email and can't wait to read them. I will try and do better about leaving comments.
Appreciate ya regardless of gender, but if you're a dude…pause.
Been a devoted reader and commenter for a while now, so, needless to say, I love the blog.
That said, sometimes, the grammatical errors can get a little out of hand. Having my own blog, I realize how tough it can be to stay on top of grammar and spelling and I rely a lot on my readers (specifically Star) but with a larger, and hugely popular blog like yours, I think instituting some sort of maker/checker system in would help. Like, each person be responsible for checking one other person's posts before they go live. It's not often I catch something, so it's by no means a gripe or criticism. Just trying to help.
Also, I think you all can step outside of the comfort zone of love and relationships a little more often. I realize that love and relationships are what butter the bread, so, I'm not saying get completely off that track, but, 1 or 2 outside the norm posts per month wouldn't hurt. I know 2 of you guys personally, so, I know yall have bigger interests that just how black men and women kick it with one another. Also, you have some awesome commenters, and I often find myself wondering their opinions on other topics. It'd be cool if the posts were a little more outside of the box because that would enable some of my favorite commenters to step outside of the box and talk about other ish.
One thing I like is that SBM is it's own little family. Lots of us communicate offline an kick on each others various blogs based on e-meeting each other here on SBM. It's awesome that you all have provided that sort of forum for exchange of information and ideas.
Lastly, and this might sound a little weird, but, I'd really like to meet some of the regular commenters. You all should do more events in the NYC area where folks have an excuse to wear nametags with their e-handle and kick and drink and discuss the same stuff we discuss on the net. My crib might be available as long as we find a way to screen everybody to make sure there aren't any axe murders.
Literally LOL'd at axe murders. #sickhumor
Co-sign!!
"You all should do more events in the NYC area where folks have an excuse to wear nametags with their e-handle and kick and drink and discuss the same stuff we discuss on the net."
if i'm not mistaken the main writers for this blog are live in ny, dc and chicago. they should do an event in each city. but wait till i move though. lol
Chicago? cmon son…wrong blog.lol. NY, DC, and Boston.
This is actually one of the things I wanna fix though. People often confuse who writes where. I'm trying to sort this out.
Most,
I definitely cosign what you said. I personally, along with the writers, have tried to step out from time to time to other realms outside of relationship stuff. Trust me when I say that diversity is awesome!
Def agree with spelling and grammar too. I respect copy editors SO MUCH MORE after doing admin stuff here and at my site.
Events? Yeah, we're definitely working on it!
Thanks fam!
Streetz, we need to set something up in Ft. Greene on the day Habana opens for the summer. Not actually at Habana, cuz, you know, it's crazy crowded there… but some where walking distance. Maybe Red Bamboo. We can invite everybody with blogs and their readers… could be a dope day in BK.
Most,
You already know. Lets get it. #GDep
Cosign everything.
I wouldn't be against a DC event sometime between March 31st and April 2nd. #just sayin
co-sign your cosignery for that date and city in particular…
That date range would work SO well for me, get outta my head! Hmm, weird. That event may even be, I don't know, cohosted with another popular blog. Just putting it out there. Align yourself with greatness, don't try to fight against it. #Iyanla
Star – i just laughed out loud at work.
Unless you want to pay my rent.. stop it! LMAO!!
Not your high ass rent!!
*sits quietly in the corner*
*gets bored*
*stares at Streetz's avi and knows exactly why he should never add me*
actually..the rent.. is NOT too damb high.
*just sayin.
What's the name of your blog? I've quoted the piece you did on this site entitled: "Do you want to get married or do you want to be a husband" on several occasions. As a 40+ yr. old "Serial Bachelor" who aspires to settle down sooner than later, I loved that post. Maybe you can contribute to this site more as well.
BTW: as a Staten Island resident who frequents Brooklyn venues, the suggestion to hold forums/outtings is a great one.
@AllTruMan
My blog is http://www.thelowerfrequency.com
Thanks for the love on that post, and shout out to Dr. J for letting me hop on a great topic on that one. Love is Love!
Re: typos, it's as simple as just give one of your grammar nazi readers permission to send you e-mails with corrections-they're already dying to do it <del>and talking about the error to their friends #GrammarNazisAreAsses</del>, they just don't wanna offend or step on egos or be the 300th person to point out an error…
I always thought I was weird for wanting to meet people after interacting with them/reading their posts regularly. I think it's a great idea, and I would definitely show up if I were in one of those areas. You guys should make sure to regale us with funny stories of first reactions and such. And I agree about the grammar stuff as well.
"(A tool belt doesn’t count). "
Gosh darnnit…What about some timbs with no socks, an eye patch and a pirate hat…no?
Seriously, I like everything about this site and this is why I am here (I only miss days when I am not at work cause I stay far away from the computer on non-work-days).
The suggestions I've seen so far are great and I can't think of anything else at the moment so…carry on.
TGIF!
I love this blog. I came across it when I was recommended to visit from a friend on FB and she lives in DC and works with the sister of one of you guys (six degrees of separation and whatnot).
At first I was like, this site is too young for me, but then I realized that I was able to comment and participate from the angle and perspective that I know. I've lived a little and have a tiny bit of wisdom to impart. It helps me keep my finger on the pulse of what is happening in the world today and I've learned a few things myself.
I say keep doing what you do. I do agree with what Max said about the Twitter thing (hell, I only came to Twitter because of you guys) and I also like Most's comment as well. I feel like the regular posters are a little e-family so that's cool too.
That's about it.
Can I just say how glad I am that you did indeed comment. I enjoy reading all of your comments and that different perspective
.
Thanks Sane, I really appreciate that!
I second that. I don't always respond to your comments RedLady but they're very insightful. I always agree with you.
RedLady, you're on twitter… what's your handle!?
@Most RedLady821 (how original!) LOL.
I too am so glad that you participate! You are some of that great positivity that we need. The light at the end of the tunnel. The examples of success and empathy. I enjoy your perspective so much.
i'm a half-lurker on this site, but SBM stays in my google reader rotation.
as to why i dont fully come out of the commenter closet? i would say, that many of the posts don't always inspire me to do so. slim and other commenters have mentioned it, so i dont need to reiterate the points.
i think the difficult thing will be that you can have all the best of intentions with a post, but you cannot control how it's perceived. what you can control is the frequency of a topic and monitor the conversations that are going on (and make sure to join them as well). we live in an era, where a company is considered out of touch if you dont communicate directly with the people. is it fair? no, but as representatives of something, that's part of the package.
i've mentioned/questioned before to other bloggers that i am friends with, the integrity behind a post. you may not like the reputation of being a fire-starter blog, but it doesn't come from nowhere.
at the end of the day, you write to be read. respect those who read, and readers will respect those who write.
*Slim likes this*
"How can we improve the experience so that more people join the daily discussions and support the moving of the movement? "
Though it can seem like work in and of itself, I think more participation in the comment world (here and elsewhere) helps build readership because of the "word of mouth" effect. And especially when you thoroughly participate in the comment sections of your own blog, it helps build a sense of community which is what my favorite blogs tend to have.
The site is pretty good as is. A year ago I would have suggested yall do more topics that are not about relationships but yall seem to be already doin that. I never understood how people try to run blogs where you talk about the same thing everyday. Doesn't matter what the topic is it will eventually get old.
Take the software for that other comment section and burn it. Everytime I hit refresh I had to log in again.
I would love to be able to post pictures and gifs in the comment section. The most fun I ever had on a blog was on a discussion board where you could post pictures and gifs. But I guess that type of thing is too early 2000s cause I don't see it alot on the internet anymore. But a lot of times pictures say things better than your words can.
Yo, these comments today have been great. A ton of good ideas so far. Proud of all the folks that supported with feedback. I'ma spend a bit of time (prolly hours) over the weekend reviewing this stuff and laying out a potential plan. Once it's solidified and the staff comes to consensus, there will be a follow up post announcing all the changes to come.
There is something I have to say though.
I'm all for supporting and strategically partnering with other websites, but I'm not trying to have SBM become a copycat of VSB. Like I mentioned in the post, we work hard. I'd hate for us to get lost in the sauce or shadow of another website because we're doing the exact same thing. Just had to put that out there. No disrespect. No need to @ or dap and link them to this comment. i'm on great terms with them and comment there myself.
I'll be reaching out to some of you regarding your ideas if you have a valid email address attached to your name. This is really exciting in a non-erect sort of way. Looking forward to making
wetdreams come true.Gotta say, I appreciate the asking for feedback and openness to suggestions. Thanks guys.
**nods and does something inappropriate**
SBM is different from VSB. It would suck to make changes and be compared to another blog so I get it but you're still diff in good ways.
I think more detailed responses from the writers in the comment section is key. Maybe even branching off into new posts based off of issues raised in the comments. I've seen this happen a few times before and I think this is key to keeping the conversation fresh.
As far I understand it, the site is clearly defined as a dating / relationship site, so I have trouble expecting more from it. Still, I feel like there could be some great fleshed out posts that fall slightly outside of that realm. I know it can get a little messy to fall outside of the focus of a blog, but it may prevent folks getting tired of similar discussions happening over and over.
To be honest with you guys I don't even remember how I stumbled on the site, but its been over a year now since I've been reading it and I intend on keeping on reading, I've learned so many things thanks to you guys that now I share the site with different people…
Your job here is awesome, the writers are amazing and even tho I've been MIA lately, I still read…
Keep up the great work, I like it!
Actually I enjoy this site. (can you tell?) And wouldn't mind helping in some concrete way. Not saying I want to write, saying that it's kinda like we're some sort of family, no emo. Though I'm not traveling northward to meet any of ya'll, I would like to see this site prosper given the content and good intentions of the writers. We're a community. I'm a programmer and would like to help in some way. Maybe not regularly (since it'll be free), but at least be a resource.
Things I like:
1. The content. I like that sometimes it's not as serious as we all take it.
2. I actually liked the Dique commenting system. It was still nice to be able to simply "Like" something and sort.
3. Guest writers.
One Thing:
I agree with Most about venturing outside of the normalcy of relationship post topics. I know that's what you do. But I must cite a troll in a recent past that came through here. Ok. That person sucked… But the point was concerning the content and (I guess) how most topics didn't touch on the finer points of the AA condition and solutions in this society. Not saying you have all the answers, but you all know how to ask the good questions. And discussion including everyone is needed at some level.
Other:
You know, I've noticed that there are very defined times in which the site is alive (commenting wise): during the normal work hours (~9a-1p EST) or around midnight. That's cool I guess except, I mostly miss the great dialog by the time I'm actually commenting. So yeah, it might just be a personal problem
or people just don't own internet at home. My point is that eventually I would like to see the dialog extended into post work hours. I know none of the writers have any direct control over that. And will probably happen as more and more people use the site. But just thought I'll mention it."2. I actually liked the Dique commenting system."
I realize this was an unintentional typo, but I vote it be renamed this, much more appropriate!
*pushing up the daisies*
*Disqus
issues… -_-
MeteorMan: "But I must cite a troll in a recent past that came through here. Ok. That person sucked…"
Actually, I thought playing with the troll was pretty fun.
Pause?
No pause at all. I quite enjoyed that "d"-down that I gave her!
I'm telllllinnnnn
Honestly, except for sending the post out to one of the grammar nazis to proofread, I wouldn't change a thing.
Great blog. Great writers. Great commenters.
so… i'm a little late. but i've read *most* of the comments above, and even though i don't comment often, i lurk quite frequently. i enjoy the site and the different voices that represent it.
i think everything i would say has already been said. the writers engaging in the comments of the blog more (and not only on the days you write), broader topics (even though the title is Single Black Male… it doesn't have to be about dating and sex everyday. we all know SBM's have myriad experiences and perspectives on life love and the pursuit of happyness. lol. i thoroughly enjoyed Dr. J's post yesterday), and a clear sense of who SBM is actually comprised of. i don't think guest posting every other day is a good look at all, considering you all have so many writers in the first place. at least not from a "this blog and these people represents this" angle. the fire starters are usually the ones who aren't official writers for the blog anyhow. you all have enough personality and talent to do just fine without a lot of other voices.
other than that, i'll just say keep up the good work, do you, trust yourselves, and the rest will follow.
and i suppose i'll start commenting more. lol
Hellllllllerrrrrr
Ok, I have been reading/commenting for a minute. If I read I comment. But the reason why its not apart of my regular rotation of "busy" work is because:
1.I feel the topics are the same things, with a different words used. There are only but so many ways I can read the same blog topic.
2. Some of the bloggers I feel are full of it. (e-hugs). I feel like they have a warped sense of reality when it comes to WOMEN. Or they write things knowing they will appeal to the majority of your audience.
And lastly why I don't come on a regular basis,
3. This sort of ties into #1, if I am having an issue with a man-friend, I can sometimes check your archives and there is a 85% chance that what I am dealing, with you have already discussed. So I have learned from the blog and is now applying it. So why do I need to keep coming back.
Now on what do I feel needs improvement.
1.Well the fact that I can no longer comment to the blogs on my blackberry is HUGE. Because I have my bb next to my bed, I am NOT getting up to comment, lol. So needless to say the new comments feature is not a go for me.
2.Maybe it's time to get a conservative republican up in here that can change the status quo. Its like "The View" without Elizabeth. Or someone who IS married, happily for more than 5 years to share his opinions/views. I feel first hand experience as opposed to coming from an outsider looking in can be beneficial.
And lastly, a NYC meet and greet would be GREAT!! But not a place where the music is so loud that I have to BBM you just to have a conversation. And it JUST be us for the first one, LOL!! And if you have to ask "am I apart of us" then your not, LOL!!
And there it is, my $19.20
Smooches,
L to the J
I honestly don't have any suggestions. Im may add a new blog to my list of must reads but you guys haven't given me a reason to stop reading. If it ain't broke don't fix it. Do you guys think its broke because people fell off? Or are you looking for new readership? If its the latter then you're gonna have to "reinvent" the blog. Personally I hate that. New and improved to me often fails at improvement. But that's just me. You're the effin best. *drizzy*
I've been reading for several months, but only started infrequently commenting within the last few months. I sincerely enjoy this site and all the content. I love how familial the writers and the regular commenters are — I even like how there is spill-over onto Twitter and other individual blogsites (that makes you all seem more authentic). I can second that it's nice to hear a feminine perspective here and there, but as a woman — my girl friends already monopolize many of the discussions I'm part of, so I like SBM as an independent/objective male perspective.
Polls: Don't know how often you use this tool, but if I'm not moved enough to comment on the day's current topic — I'm usually game to respond to a quick poll question that may be completely unrelated. The poll results can be used as material/fodder for future topics or to further clarify a subject that has already been discussed. Just a thought.
Have a great weekend folks!
Good suggestion, I sorta love taking polls, like a minitest…I love tests #Nerd.
No complaints… Just continue to be more honest… So I don't have to be…
Good Post!
This is horrible! But I can't say I didn't LOL!
"Just continue to be more honest… So I don’t have to be…"
*with late pass in hand*
I think this blog is awesome, from the posts to the reader comments. A friend of mine suggested I check for it and I'm glad I did.
It might be interesting to hear topics other than dating /sex or interactions with woman. I'd be interested in hearing about how single black males deal with a range of issues. ie politics, haters, budgeting, being black in America…etc.
Y'all keep up the great work…
PS: I know the managers at the Cornerstone Restaurant and Lounge (formerly red bamboo) and Two Steps Down should the SBM crew want to host an event in Brooklyn…they're always looking for cross promotion opportunities. Peace
I absolutely love it! Especially Streetz….he says things others are afraid to say and brings topics to light that we all think about…keep it going…you are all helping the community as a whole.