I was sitting at my desk as I normally do when someone gchats the good Doctor and says, “Hey check this article out.” I sat there for a few minutes reading this article that Tracy McMillan wrote and I nodded my head to each point. I was so in tune with each of her points that I began to want to be her fourth husband. However, once completing the article, I like many of you thought to myself, “This might be the greatest blog of the year.”
Tracy gave six reasons why a woman isn’t married: You’re a b*tch, you’re shallow, you’re a slut, you’re a liar, you’re selfish, and/or you’re not good enough.
If it hadn’t have been a woman this article would not have been as well received, because I cannot tell you how many times men say these same exact things to women on the regular and get the ultimate #nosign. For some reason, men aren’t smart enough to develop thoughts like these six points that Tracy came up with. In my mind, I was just thinking, I’ve been saying this to women for years. If the Get Over It series yielded anything, it was to tell you that. “You’re the reason why you’re in the situation that you’re in.”
What’s so weird to me is that there are so many women who will tell me, (because I’m not sleeping with them), that they have these problems. However, if you ask any of the ones who I’ve considered dating and decided against it, they won’t admit to any of these. Yes, I’ve had women tell me to my face, “I’m just too into me right now to want to be married.” But, those women won’t admit that in public. Or maybe I should say they’d rather tell you that they are a b*tch rather than you telling them.
It makes me think of this quote by the big homie Kain, “How come whenever you ask me for some money and I don’t have it, you call me a broke n*gga? Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you’re asking me for money, doesn’t that make you a broke b*tch?” #iDied. It’s so true, but what’s also true is that if you ever call a woman, a nagging woman, who is also broke, “a broke b*tch” it might be the last words you ever say. And I think for that reason that’s why women were more willing to take the words from Tracy than from a man.
I do think there were two reasons that she didn’t talk about; Bad timing and You don’t really want to be married. It should be noted that a lot of women claim to want to be married, but don’t do anything to put themselves in a position to be married. I had a conversation with a friend one time and I told her why she should stop going out. You know in the minds of most women between the ages of 21-27, they aren’t trying to settle down, they want to have fun. And it doesn’t seem to matter to them when they are told, this may be fun now, but trust me, none of us guys want to marry that girl who was in the club with us during those years. We want someone who has not been around so much. But those same women insist that they want to be married one day, but they just don’t show any signs of being able to put themselves in a wifeable situation.
And then there was bad timing, and I think it should be noted that for some people when your time came, your circumstances didn’t permit you to get married. I just think of all the women who “date” men into their thirties and then find out he’s not the one for you, or you log into Facebook and find out that he’s engaged. “But he said he wasn’t looking for a relationship!” Or what about when family gets in the way of your 20s and 30s. I’ve seen a few instances where someone’s family commitments caused them to lose a real good person in their lives. Since women are expected to be caretakers and typically end up being the one to take care of an aging relative, they miss out on some things in life.
Anyway, I’m interested to hear the SBM Massive’s thoughts on the article. I want to say that I’m happy Tracy wrote the article, I thought it was spot on. I think that anyone who refutes her article is part of the problem. If that didn’t apply to you, I’m pretty sure you know some people in your circle who it did apply to. What were your thoughts about the article? Was it on point? Do you think she left something out?
Minor note: Tracy McMillan and Terry McMillan are two different people. I saw someone who went IINNN on her books the other day and I kind of just sat there like, “You ain’t got no clue what you’re talking about.”