“This is sort of like when Tupac, came out with I Ain’t Mad At Ya. It seemed like there were so many songs with that same beat. Or maybe it’s like when every dancehall artist has to drop a track on the same beat. However, Wis had a great post last week on Black men and their reasons for not being married. This is my final post on Marriage and the first one about how Black men factor into this. And i’m also tired of being nice, so next week we’ll bring the pain.*
The current social construct in America suggests that marriage is no longer a union, but rather a business arrangement. Despite the fact that many of you will get married in a church, there will be nothing holy about your relationship. The church actually only serves to aide and abide in your business arrangement. Hmm … the church is a facilitator of business activity. So for most Black people they feel the need to approach this business arrangement like a purchase: What exactly do I want to buy?, Can I afford it?, Is a newer model coming out later with features that I want?, and What is the maintenance like, or is there some type of warranty involved?
Can you imagine if someone sold marriage warranties?! 8 year/4 kids warranties FTW! If it doesn’t work out in that time, you can get divorced at no cost to either party.
Anyway on a more serious note, here’s an in-depth look at The Reasons Why Black Men Prefer to Not get Married:
Most Black Women Fail the Audition Miserably
I’m not going to b*tch about things that Black women do that are asinine and only attributed to their kind. Actually I am. It’s no secret that there’s a large number of them who are just impossible to get along with. They’ll probably tell you that it’s because they are a power zodiac sign, or that’s just how it is to date a Pisces. In addition to that, there’s a bunch of stuff they say during the courting phase that doesn’t add up. They will tell you all these things that they are willing to do when in a relationship, but they don’t want to put a resume on the table or list references. Wait, I’m feeling myself, repeat, they will tell you all these things that they are willing to do when in a relationship, but they don’t want to put a resume on the table or list references. And lastly, I shouldn’t have to say this, but how many times is it that a woman claims a bed game that isn’t true? Or appears to be something she ain’t because of the grace of lace-fronts, weaves, fake nails, contacts, spanx and contour clothing?
You never know when you might find something better
I am pretty sure that most men have met a girl and thought she was the girl of their dreams, a few months later, they hated her. Well, for Black men, especially successful Black men. There’s a good chance that you can date very good women and dump them and find a better one until you die. There’s just a number game at play that works out in their favor. A Black woman will tell herself that she’s not going to date a man who cheats, and the next guy she dates will cheat. A Black man can tell himself that the next girl he dates is going to be less angry and you know what? That’s what he finds in the next woman. So history suggests that it’s not worth settling down.
Marriage is hard work, single life is easy going and free
I want to get this point out of here quick because it’s messed up, but it’s slight humorous. Black men have no problems finding women to have children with, without a marriage. There is OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE to support this fact. In the minds of most Black men, they not getting married until they have everything they want in their life. That’s because they know that once they get married, their wife is going to say, “What’s yours is ours, and what’s mine is mine.” After that it’s hard to explain to your wife why you dropped two stacks on your birthday party at the club. Funny thing about this is, he’s going to get to a point of self-sufficiency without a wife. And if he can provide for himself and be happy then why get married and have to start all over again by adding one or more people. In order to illustrate the other side for you, I’m going to put it like this, “When you’re married, you gotta do stuff.” Yes, that’s right, men have to do all types of things they don’t want to do to maintain their relationships. They hate male play dates, they hate all things shower related if there’s not a camera and soapy glass involved, they want to be able to come home and take a nap for 30 minutes rather than walking into a list of orders, and the list goes on. Final and deciding point, men hate buying new cars but women don’t. Women don’t mind a note, men hate the note. We hate having to pay for something every month. We want to pay for it one time up front and that be that. (If you don’t get this, wait a few years and you will have an epiphany that might change your life.)
This does not hold true for all Black men. There are Black men who do want to get married. I think that I am one of them. As much as I see upcoming frustrations associated with marriage, I’m excited to succeed at it. I’m a winner, so I think marriage will be a slam dunk. But let me bring your attention to something about this list. A lot of you will say, “Damn, another post bashing women.” Nope, that’s not the thing, the point is all of the Black man’s reasons for never getting married have nothing to do with him. Not one! They’re all about someone else. Bringing me to my next point; the biggest weakness with single Black men is their sense of entitlement and lack of accountability for everything in their environment. For those people who need that in Layman’s terms, there are Black men who want everything provided for them, while putting in no work and never being told how we can be better, because that might lead to more work. What am I advising you to do about it? If a Black man gives you the idea that marriage is not something that he wants, don’t wait for him to come around. There are too many signs on the wall that are telling you, he’s just not the man for you. Whether it’s that he keeps blaming you for everything, or that he’s not willing to change, he’s not the man for you.