Friends don’t let friends cut their hair

Don’t you even THINK about it!!

 

LEAVE YOUR HAIR ALONE!!!
You’ll usually hear me screaming this at any of my women friends when they talk of drastic changes to their hairstyle. As a friend, I feel it is my right and my duty to let people I care about know when they are about to take a major L in any facet of life. Hair is no different. I’m far from a super model, but I care about my grooming enough to hope that someone checks me if I’m slipping or even close to it, so I will do the same as will most men for their lady friends/significant others/sisters/cut buddies.

Women are totally different. I’m convinced that when it comes to hairstyles, women will let their friends walk into the pit of despair barefoot and dumbfounded. They will let them murder and mangle their hair, even if they are weary about the new “do”. Now, I’m not talking out of my rear-end on this topic, I’ve observed this for many years and asked men and women to share their thoughts on my theory that friends will let each other look a hot mess just because they want “something different”. Now let me say beforehand that this is not a “good hair v. bad hair” or “long hair vs short hair” or “natural vs permed” argument. This is all about decisions and perception. Not convinced yet? Well consider this:

Friends will say your new hairstyle looks cute, but will secretly bash you

We all have those friends who will support you no matter what. We also have those friends that will cosign any idea you have because they see that you like it and because they don’t want to “sound like a hater”. They will be the friends to tell you to get the hot pink and lavender highlights when you are a partner in a law firm. When they see the final product, they will shower you with affectionate praise like “gurllll you’re killin it!” and the always popular “That looks sooo CAYUTE (yes the drawn out version of cute)!”. When they go home, however, they will be quick to let their boo know “Oh, Keisha’s new hairdo? A.MESS!! Don’t ever let me come home looking like that!!” Why is it cool for them to look horrid, but not you? I thought women didn’t like rolling in busted cliques. Keep it real with your homegirl and let her know up front that you think it’s a bad look.

Women will doubt the cut, get the cut, then regret the cut
There’s always a risk with a new hairstyle. It may not come out the way you thought, or a certain color may not agree with your complexion, so I will concede that a great amount of bravery is needed for a hairdo change. Women are known for their intuition, but when it comes to hair, it shouldn’t be ignored. How many women do you know that go for this all new hairstyle and then cry because it takes a year to two years for their hair to grow back to its original length again? I’m no haircare expert, but isn’t there a way to test your style before actually getting it? Please school me because if I was a woman and i had long hair and wanted to get a short do, or had short hair and wanted a weave, I’d probably try to wear a wig that would reflect the hairstyle closely, or even try Photoshopping a current pic with new hair. Yeah, it seems extra, but as a man I have much more leeway to experiment with hair because I know that at most I’d have to wait 4 weeks to get back to my original hair length and style. I don’t like living with regret, and neither should you, especially with hair!

Sometimes, changes in your life doesn’t need to be signified by cutting hair!!
This point is one that I feel the strongest about. I’ve asked many women who extremely made-over their hair, about their motivation behind their decision. A great majority of them stated that they just got out of a relationship and wanted to cut off all their hair. I get it. You want to feel liberated. I know people who had Locks and cut them because they said all the emotions and negative energy was residing in their hair & needed to be expelled.  Zeen. However, a lot of women will murder their hair and get an unattractive, unflattering cut or style in place of their “same old do”. Listen, don’t let your ex win the war by making yourself look worse in the aftermath of a breakup. If it aint broke, don’t fix it!! You can hit the gym, read a new book, pickup a new hobby, travel, or anything else as a breath of fresh air from your last situation. Leave your hair out of it! A change of pace isn’t effective if it throws your pacing off.

In closing, if you choose to break monotony and get a new hairstyle, accept the same amount of blame for it being a mess as you would if it comes out well. The same way you know that dress is 2 sizes too tight for you to wear, or that Canal St. Gucci bag is falling apart at the seams, know that your hairstyle is a loss, accept it and move on. Friends, don’t let your homegirls do something to their hair that we will all regret, most importantly, that SHE will regret! If it won’t look good on you, or you know that she will get side eye’s and ridicule, save her the embarrassment and suggest alternatives. Women, when we as men tell you leave your hair alone, believe us!! That is off the books code for “You’re fine, and if you cut your hair or get those silly colors or styles, you will dilute your value” Also, when we tell you that cut or new style may be a good look, we think it will be a good calculated risk. We know you may want that hairstyle to appeal to the opposite sex (or whomever you desire), so the people of that sex’s viewpoint should be taken into consideration. Whatever you do, be confident, be smart, and perform the necessary due diligence so you don’t body yourself and you’re left with 8-12 months of follicle triage.

Performing hair interventions since 1998, I remain:

 

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  • http://ficklebriiz.tumblr.com Briiz

    I just can't leave it alone. I cut it, then I grow it out, then I cut it again. It started when I was young and HAD to get it cut because of damage. It was devastating to be the only female 5th grader with curly fro. Since then I'm not as attached to it as most people are. I am not my hair…India Arie* It looks cute whether it's long or short though. I've never put color in it or rinse it to cover my awesome premature gray and I've never worn a weave. I just have a love of the scissors. I have brutally honest family and friends and my hairdresser(who hates to cut it) that wont let me walk around looking like cats been sucking in my head.

    But I understand what you're sayin'

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      Thanks for the comment!

      If you look good with different hairstyles more power to you! I definitely support that. What I can't support is experimentation for the sake of experimentation, espeicially without proper consultation #JesseJacksonBars

  • http://www.blackgirlsareeasy.com nc17

    Hyper combo cosign with Streetz. Just because Anthony broke up with you doesn't give you the right to go Rihanna Red. You can be "going through something" I get it, it's your hair– but go eat ice cream or get a ratchet tattoo. Stay away from the hair salon until your mind is back to normal. Hair defines a woman, and to me a nice style is second only to a pretty face. This girl once showed me a picture, she had some short Halie Berry on a budget style going on while I was sleeping with her, but in the picture she had a banging weave. I felt ROBBED. I don't know why she cut it, but for me, the lover of Indian Remy, I felt as if I arrived too late. I don't care if it sounds shallow, a wack hairstyle is a deal breaker… after you hit anyway.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      LOLOL you're an ass yo…

      I get what you are saying though. The visual swindles are crazy!

    • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

      <blockquote cite="comment-311936">

      nc17: This girl once showed me a picture, she had some short Halie Berry on a budget style going on while I was sleeping with her, but in the picture she had a banging weave. I felt ROBBED.

      LMAO.

      Lil off topic but I too have fallen victim to the "back in the day" picture swindle. I'm not on Facebook but I imagine it's notorious for this because I do know you can trace the timeline of somebody "falling off" over the years.

      I remember I met this cute girl once. I was really feeling her too THEN SHE HAD THE AUDACITY to show me this old school picture of her. MANNN SHE USE-TO-BE FINE. I don’t know where it all went wrong. She went from FINE to cute, which led me to fear she might go from cute to…..

      Yeah, after that I couldn’t get that image out of my head man. Every time I saw her I wondered to myself, “self, what happen to her former fineness?” Soooo yeah, obviously that relationships didn’t work out.

      Sad times.

      I guess the moral of the story is if the old you looks better than the present you, you should delete/burn/destroy all evidence of the past you.

      • Starita34

        LMAO! THIS guy!

        Fostering security complexes one comment at a time! LOL

      • GirlSixx is ChloeRay

        Well Damn!! o__o

        *Can'tStopLaughing*

        And this sentence here — "She went from FINE to cute, which led me to fear she might go from cute to….."

        iJustcan't!!!!

  • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

    Women, every time you cut your long beautiful (non-weave, lace-front, wig, etc.) hair… God murders a helpless kitten. Do you want this on your conscience just because you needed a change or wanted to "regain control"? Hmmmm? Hmmmmm? I didn't think so.

    And if that doesn't work trust when I say, the price of your p*ssy stock with men WILL fall.

    #ThatIsAll

    • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis…

      I think I won't have to comment today… you summed it up concisely

      • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

        Really? I'm just getting started.

    • Therelucantsocialte

      Lol… you guys are crazy. Its really not that big of a deal.

      Plus… men don't know if they're going to like it until they see it… changes can grow on you. All the men in my life were LIVID initially when I cut off my straight hair and went natural. Now they LOVE it.

      Yall just don't like change. But you'll get over it… :)

      • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

        WE don't like change? LOL. Alright. How many women would be fine with their men saying "You know what? I'm not my career." I'm gonna give up this $85,000 salary 'cause it's too time-restricting. I'm gonna take this $28,000/year job instead. It's just a job, right?

        *sits back, grabs popcorn and gets ready for obligatory BS responses*

        • Therelucantsocialte

          Apples and oranges, my dear :)

          Changing my hairstyle is not going to affect my lifestyle. Taking a lower paying job will.

          Two completely different senarios…

        • http://www.shesoflyy.wordpress.com Muze

          LOL! it is not. the.same.

        • GirlSixx is ChloeRay

          *SnatchesPopcornFromTWism&ChucksitOverShoulder*

          That's Different man and you know it!!

        • Christina

          <blockquote cite="comment-312003">

          TWIsM: How many women would be fine with their men saying “You know what? I’m not my career.” I’m gonna give up this $85,000 salary ’cause it’s too time-restricting. I’m gonna take this $28,000/year job instead. It’s just a job, right?

          TWIsM,

          This is fine with me. So long as that $28,000 job keeps my guy satisfied and gets all his bills paid. I’d rather be with a happy man who lives within his means than to be with a grumpy man who can’t appreciate life even though he’s bringing home bank. A grumpy man with Christina doesn’t make for a happy Christina.

      • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

        Granted, I was going for a bit of hyperbole there, but the message still remains. It always seems like the adage "Whatever you did to get her, you need to do to keep her" only applies to men. Women seem to have a reason, excuse, explanation, and/or justification for why they don't need to adhere to this.

        • Therelucantsocialte

          You're right. Both men and women should do what they did in the beginning to keep their s/o happy. However, I don't think that changing your personal appearance really applies here. I mean, seriously… who is going to have the same hairstyle FOREVER? Thats just unrealistic…

          See.. we women aren't writing posts about how much we hate that our men grew a beard or shaved his head and how his stock is going to fall. Hair grows back. Its not that big of a deal.

          I'm dating a man now that has dreads. I LOVE his dreads. If he cuts them off… yeah I might be a little dissapointed, just because I I think they look amazing on him. But if he choose to cut them off and rock a fade, its not going to make me reconsider being with him or anything. Its just not a big deal. If I'm really feeling him then I'll just have to get used to the change.

        • Starita34

          Mmmmm, beards… *Homer Simpson drool*

        • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

          I am really laughing at the number of dislikes I'm getting. Humor is lost on so many.

          @Therelucantsocialte, I hear you and even agree, but in a very amplified version of what Streetz was saying I'm just touting that making your hair an unnecessary victim of a need to change something and/or wanting to try something new that ends up not looking good is a general pet peeve of men. Particularly because men like what we SEE. Hell, let Halle or Beyonce show up to an award show one day 70 lbs heavier and see how many men's lists they fall off of.

        • Therelucantsocialte

          @Star : Girl yes… I love a nice beard…lol. :)

          @TWIsM: I get what you're saying. I think weight is probably another subject though, because that sometimes have to do with lifestyle changes and I can see how that could potentially be a problem in certain situations.

          I'm not saying that women should be surprised if they change their hair and their man doesn't like it. I get that men don't like change. But I also don't think that women should be confined by what their man does or doesn't like about the way that they look…(especially if he's not your husband. Who says he's going to be around next month, anyway? lol…)

          When my hair was still straight with a relaxer, I dated this guy that preferred his women to have natural hair. He didn't really LIKE relaxers, but since I had a relaxer and he liked ME, he didn't mind it. Once I went natural, I dated a guy who preferred straight, long hair. He didn't really LIKE naturals, but he was okay with it because he liked ME.

          Moral of the story…women, WEAR YOUR HAIR THE WAY YOU WANT TO!!!!

          :)

        • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

          <blockquote cite="comment-312084">

          Therelucantsocialte:

          I’m not saying that women should be surprised if they change their hair and their man doesn’t like it. I get that men don’t like change.

          <img src="http://www.singleblackmale.org/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif&quot; alt=":)" class="wp-smiley">

          This is not true. Men do like change… GOOD change! I'm just saying if you're with someone, I would think you'd run it by him/her if you wanted to change your look, and they would give you a honest opinion. I've dated women of all hair lengths (not bald tho), and I can tell you se.xy is se.xy!! if I wear unflattering clothes, smell bad, or have a LeBron hairline, I expect you to stand up and let me know im slippin. If I had something good going and my alternative might not work out well, I'd hope you'd say something!

        • Therelucantsocialte

          <blockquote cite="comment-312090">

          Streetz: This is not true. Men do like change… GOOD change! I’m just saying if you’re with someone, I would think you’d run it by him/her if you wanted to change your look, and they would give you a honest opinion. I’ve dated women of all hair lengths (not bald tho), and I can tell you se.xy is se.xy!! if I wear unflattering clothes, smell bad, or have a LeBron hairline, I expect you to stand up and let me know im slippin. If I had something good going and my alternative might not work out well, I’d hope you’d say something!

          lol!

          I'm just sayin… who determines "good"??? The man? What if I think its good but you just don't like it? If I think its good but you don't, then I shouldn't do it? Come on…lol. :)

          Look… I have a big curly fro. If I decided tomorrow that I wanted to put a relaxer on it, yeah I would ask my guy what he thought. I would listen to what he says and consider his opinion. But at the end of the day, if I REALLY want to do it, then I will. I'm ultimately going to do what makes me happy. If I hate it, then I can chop it off and grow it back again.

          Seriously… its just hair. It grows back…lol.

        • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

          It's funny, I was just about to say "Who said we don't like change?" but Streetz covered it. Sooo… I'll just #cosign. lol

        • http://codecipher.blogspot.com MeteorMan

          @Therelucantsocialte Nah ma…

          No one is saying that a man controls a woman. But best believe, if I'm with a woman and there's some drastic change in her appearance, I will have an opinion. People do actually consult others when making huge appearance changes. And if my lady asks me, I'm gonna tell her my opinion. No, my opinion is not law. But I'm free to not like anything she does. And the same is true vice versa.

          It is ultimately a woman's choice, BUT that does not mean that choice won't yield any consequences. A consequence being your man being displeased…. And no… weight goes into the SAME bucket as this.

        • Therelucantsocialte

          <blockquote cite="comment-312122">

          MeteorMan: @Therelucantsocialte Nah ma…No one is saying that a man controls a woman. But best believe, if I’m with a woman and there’s some drastic change in her appearance, I will have an opinion. People do actually consult others when making huge appearance changes. And if my lady asks me, I’m gonna tell her my opinion. No, my opinion is not law. But I’m free to not like anything she does. And the same is true vice versa. It is ultimately a woman’s choice, BUT that does not mean that choice won’t yield any consequences. A consequence being your man being displeased…. And no… weight goes into the SAME bucket as this.

          Well… I don't mind a guy voicing his opinion or even being displeased… just as long as we're not saying that a woman should shape her looks based on her man's opinion. Like I said, I have no problem taking opinions into consideration, but bottom line, I'm going to look the way that makes ME feel happy and comfortable. And if you're really feeling me like that… then you'll get used to it.

          And I'm sorry. I don't think changing your hair and gaining weight are the same thing. Its just hair. IT GROWS BACK!!! lol…

    • Yoles

      is long hair really that serious?? i love hair cuts…i feel like i grow it long to cut if off again and i tend to cut mine all off every few years… caesars, china doll bobs etc… having a lot of hair is a lot of work and long hair just for the sake of long hair is a pain. what can you do with it? wear it loose or pin it up. if you pin it up, it might as well be short

      • AJ

        Agreed. I hate when men have an obsession with long hair. European standards of beauty much? My hair has been long several times in my life, but after a while, I get tired of it because it has no style. It's just there. Flat, straight & long. So I cut it chin to mid-length to some jazzy style, wear that for a while & eventually go back long. As long as a woman's hair is well-kept/styled nicely, the length shouldn't matter (unless it's a fade).

        • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

          It isnt about obsession.. its about doing stupid sh*t with hair. lets stop deflecting and stay on topic

        • http://codecipher.blogspot.com MeteorMan

          Actually it's NOT about hair length or texture in general. Though there are men with that preference.

          All Streetz is saying is that you should truly use a lifeline/phone-a-friend when making large appearance changes in a relationship. The look MAY grow on him/you or it may not. Be mindful that your appearance is a reflection of the relationship you two share -> period. The same is for the man. Not every idea is a good idea. That's why you need real friends who will state their disagreements. It's still your choice tho.

    • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

      Chuuuch! Will someone pass the collection plate for Meteor Man? #PleaseandThankYou

  • Jess Scott

    Streetz….I know you have known me for a decent amount of time and I have always had long hair. I am responding to this for the 'school me' part of your post. I love my hair BUT it can get annoying after a while AND it is not always healthy to keep putting products/hear etc all the time. As a result, I talked to my hair dresser and she refused to cut my hair. She suggested if I love my hair but want a change that she would braid my hair up in a neat spiral, and put a short weave in. I know I'm backwards bc who gets a weave to make their hair shorter but I never seen my hair short ever! She cut it to a nice style and I can rock it for alittle still knowing my long locks are under there. Its ok BUT I'm SO GLAD I DIDNT CUT IT FORREAL! When I did it My girls kept it real and said they liked it longer…and my man thought I was playing a nasty trick on him LOL! Overall I feel like the end result was a good compromise that is not permanent and will keep my hair out of my way during part of my summer adventures ;-) . BUT the womans stylist MUST have skills to pull it off to look natural! Hope this gave you alittle insight on an alternative.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      Def Jess! Thats a great story. I'e heard of barbers who refused to cut dudes locks off because they didn't want to be "that dude", lol or to see cats cry.

  • AndAnotherOne

    Maybe there are "friends" who relish in the thought of their homegirl looking crazy so they can be the cute one in the group for a change. There's always that one friend who looks a tad bit prettier than the rest of her crew, hell, who are her friends to stop her from evening out the pretty playing field #shrug =)

  • MissCTG

    HAHAHAHA!! This is a hilarious post! Streetz, everything you have said is true. From the co-signing homegirls, to the post breakup style, to the wig trial run before going in. I am the first to admit that I have a hair complex. I just don't like wearing my hair short, and that's just what it is. I currently have shoulder length natural hair, but most people don't know that because I rock the hell out of some weave. (Yes, I know there are a few anti-weavers on here.. *kanye shrug* I love my hair, my real hair, underneath the weave! However, it can occasionally be uncooperative in the styling arena and I am a bit of a work-a-holic/ super impulsive. With weaves I can switch up my style as often as once a week or once a month, and it is uber low-maintenance. I have had red hair (it looked better than Rihanna's), long blond hair, short curly hair, layered bobs, etc. basically a bunch of random styles that I would NEVER do to my real hair! I just can't get down with that concept of ruining perfectly lovely locks for a fashion trend or emotional whim; that *ish takes WAYYYY too long to grow back (IF it grows back).

    Somewhere in my mind I THINK that I can understand why women do the drastic hair change after a relationship, but honestly that *ish is mostly just silly to me. My advice to these ladies would be right there along with yours.. grab you a weave or a wig (really you should just do a weave though.. wigs can get ridiculously hot lol) and keep it moving! Wear your new short do for a few weeks until you feel better and get back to your regularly scheduled life. I'm just saying..

  • afrodiva

    Please ignore all statements such as" a woman is defined by her hair" or" hair is a dealbreaker" or" hair determines your value" if you want to be in a relationship based on more than your looks. Fellas grow up, ladies liberate yourself& take ctrl of your hair for once and all. SMDH

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Peter Parker

      "Please ignore all statements such as” a woman is defined by her hair” or” hair is a dealbreaker” or” hair determines your value” if you want to be in a relationship based on more than your looks."

      same women will clown dudes w/ cornrolls and tell THEM to grow up, be the same women talking that "i am not my hair"…

      now if you'll excuse me, i have to check my contact list, cuz i'm calling shena.nigans

      *diddy bops through the club with a Gumby HairCut wonderin' why The Kid ain't Gettin no Play*

      • http://ficklebriiz.tumblr.com Briiz

        I personally(love redundancy) don't care if a guy has braids or locks, as long as he keeps it tight and its not costing him his job. Now, if you're walking around looking crazy and not taking care of it, thats different.

        SN: I can't braid hair for the life of me. Isn't that like a black girl requirement

        • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

          Briiz,

          <blockquote cite="comment-312028">

          Briiz: SN: I can’t braid hair for the life of me. Isn’t that like a black girl requirement

          If you can double dutch, then balance is restored and you don't have a penalty on your black woman card, lol

      • http://lefthandscribble.tumblr.com LoveB_Jones

        The same women who are saying "I am not my hair" probably aren't walking around rocking pigtails, two little puff balls or braids with the little bright, fluorescent colors that they wore when they were in elementary school. I just view men with braids as being stuck in their childhood/teenage years and I can't take them serious. Like if you're a guy and really want your hair to be low maintenance just get some (well maintained) dreads. They're a more mature look in my opinion.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      I agree that hair as a dealbreaker is superficial, btu are we really gonna argue preferences again? I've written a few articles that show that preference can be silly, but who are we to say whats right for a particular person?

      If I go out the house with pum pum shorts, that might be cool for me, but I doubt women will say "eff it he wears boty ridas thats him, hes still sessy" sometimes stuff looks dumb and if you can avoid it, you should!

  • Starita34

    Sometimes a girl needs a drastic change. There are very few times in our lives that our beauty isn't of the utmost importance to us…when we experience those moments, we grab hold of them. Many women chop their hair after having a baby. Lots of times a chop occurs after a major breakup or a divorce. I sliced and diced my hurr after a bad car accident. Sorry if we're slightly less attractive to you for a few months if the cut went awry – but for those brief patches of time, it's actually not about anything but what that woman needs in that moment.

    It's ridiculous really, how tied up in our hair we are, but for the most part, we are. Give us those few liberating experiences.

    • Therelucantsocialte

      <blockquote cite="comment-311946">

      Starita34: It’s ridiculous really, how tied up in our hair we are, but for the most part, we are. Give us those few liberating experiences.

      Exactly :)

    • http://livelovesingwithme.tumblr.com LiveLoveSing

      <blockquote cite="comment-311946">

      Starita34:

      Sorry if we’re slightly less attractive to you for a few months if the cut went awry – but for those brief patches of time, it’s actually not about anything but what that woman needs in that moment.

      Let the church say Amen

  • Sade

    I had fade/micro mini fro for four years because of the school I went to. After that, it hurts to even trim it. When I transitioned to natural, I didn't cut off the relaxer 'til after the hair had grown and rocked the hell out of kinky twists and braids. My hair isn't long (and it may never be) but I don't think I can do short. Even if I wanted to (I don't) I seek approval too much to say f*ck it to the world and chop more than an inch of my hair off. Besides, it takes too damn long to grow.

  • http://lefthandscribble.tumblr.com LoveB_Jones

    I think it needs to be added that when asking your boyfriend about how a new style will look be cautious. Everytime hairstyle I tell my boyfriend about wanting he replies with, "Yeah I think that'll be hot on you." Then it somehow leads to "Yeah, a cut like Halle Berry's will look nice" when I'm talking about cutting all my hair off Solange style. Two completely different ideas about one thing.

  • http://www.twitter.com/shubby_doo shubby doo

    Yo so this why when I said I'd cut my hair and get some bangs (fringe) streetz gave me a lowkey hmmmm… lmaooooooo #ihatechu

    I always cut it very short after it's get to 2 inches below my shoulders. My hair is very soft but too thin and I do not believe in weaves, lacefronts etc…cos they're done so badly in england. so when my hair gets to this point I start wearing it up. All the time. It gets boring.

    Saying that after I get the chop…I never like 'it'..looks great in the salon but everyday after, it always needs to be styled to look right and I don't always have the time. Luckily my hair grows fast so after 3 months it's grown right. I'm 2 1/2 months into this hair hell now.

    Saying that I went to a hair dresser in the states this year she was like… 'this style is great. It's short but wooooorrrrrkkkkks. But as an old women I'mma keep it real and let u know that women should never cut their hair. Men like something to thug at! Your hair has a great feel to it so don't forget that. Next time no cutting. Give em something to pull and grab at' :S Lol

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      But I kept it funky with you though right? LOL

      Can't let the Brits look foolish in these streets!

      Great perspective!

  • http://www.twitter.com/RealTalkSuki2 NowSayItWithMe

    Sometimes, changes in your life doesn’t need to be signified by cutting hair!!

    I went through this about a year ago and thought to myself,

    Self, we're going through a phase. Let's start over. Quit twitter (again) and cut it all off.

    HA!! Never ever again. I don't know why my sister didn't slap me. She actually encouraged it. She's not my friend. Lol f*ck that hoe. I don't know what came over me but I must have gotten back that sense that I lost when I thought of cutting my hair. Sh!t, my hair isn't long and I don't know why I'd ever think that. Silly @ss thoughts of someone going through a quarter-life crisis 5 years early. But now, I'm chillin. I like my short hair. I have no words for people who cut their hair unless it's, Oh. You cut your hair. I see.. Even that's excessive and stating the obvious.

    But shout out to all of you that want to go "natural".

    P.S. People cut their hair just to grow it back to the length it was before. I never want to discover the so-called logic behind this so *fist in air* to each your own and more power to ya!

  • NinaFontaine

    This is funny as hell to me because men don't say a damn thing about your hair until you cut it! #lessonlearned

    • Starita34

      lol, right? What happened to all the "we're simple" and "we don't give a eff what you wear/how you do your hair/which shoes you pick just come the eff on!"

      Had a first date with a dude once and he had his hands all up in my hair telling me that he was gonna give me bangs, highlights, and cut it to "here"… O_O #ThatAwkwardMoment when you question your date's sexuality… the bartender gave this guy the meanest of all side eyes and obviously lost all respect for him, as he then commenced flirting with me.

      You don't get a vote on my hair until we're in a relationship. Even then, you get one vote, I get 2…sooooo…

      • NinaFontaine

        O_O is right OMG! I told my ex he could get a vote when he starting paying to get my hair done – it worked for 3 months! LOL

        • Starita34

          He was a barber, but still, boundaries! Just cause you're a OBGyn doesn't mean I'm letting you perform a pap! Gimme 50 feet.

  • Christina

    Streetz,

    What kind of women are you kickin it with? Lol.

    “We all have those friends who will support you no matter what. We also have those friends that will cosign any idea you have because they see that you like it and because they don’t want to “sound like a hater”. They will be the friends to tell you to get the hot pink and lavender highlights when you are a partner in a law firm. When they see the final product, they will shower you with affectionate praise like “gurllll you’re killin it!” and the always popular “That looks sooo CAYUTE (yes the drawn out version of cute)!”. When they go home, however, they will be quick to let their boo know “Oh, Keisha’s new hairdo? A.MESS!! Don’t ever let me come home looking like that!!”

    NY chicks must be real grimy because I’ve never heard this…never.

    There is a way of testing a style before getting it done. Women can play around with wigs or they can go to a website that allows them to upload a photo and virtually change hair color, hair length and make-up.

    “I’ve asked many women who extremely made-over their hair, about their motivation behind their decision. A great majority of them stated that they just got out of a relationship and wanted to cut off all their hair. I get it. You want to feel liberated. I know people who had Locks and cut them because they said all the emotions and negative energy was residing in their hair & needed to be expelled”.

    Again, this has to be a NY thing. No hair stylist, in L.A., is going to allow a woman to walk out of a salon looking stupid because of an emotional breakdown. We do whatever the hell we want out here in “Hollyweird” and we embrace it until we’re ready to rock a different style. Some women just want a change for the sake of having the freedom to do something different. It’s not because of a break up…it’s not because it’s a trend…it’s because that woman wanted to switch up her style just for the hell of it. I’m going to be changing my hairstyle multiple times throughout the summer because hot, sunny days bring out the free-spirited Sagittarius in me…and I’ll be getting another piercing pretty soon because I feel like getting another piercing. Sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason…it’s just self-pleasin’.

    • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

      <blockquote cite="comment-311959">

      Christina:

      No hair stylist, in L.A., is going to allow a woman to walk out of a salon looking stupid because of an emotional breakdown. We do whatever the hell we want out here in “Hollyweird” and we embrace it until we’re ready to rock a different style.

      1) I find these two sentences slightly contradictory. If you do what you want, then doesn't the stylist have to give you what you want (stupid-looking or not)?

      2) No hair stylist in L.A. letting women look stupid because of an emotional breakdown?

      *googles bald britney spears*

      • klm

        Britney is actually a really good example of Christina's point. If I remember correctly, the stylist she asked to shave her hair off said no. Britney ended up doing it herself.

      • Christina

        We can do what we want because we have that option of doing so. If a hair stylist doesn’t think a style will look good on a client, he/she may say “I’m not sure about this style. I think you would look good with ____.” A stylist can easily talk a client out of getting a certain style if that stylist doesn’t think it’ll frame that person’s face nicely. Also, the stylist will definitely talk a woman out of getting an ugly style if she’s an emotional wreck. Obviously, the stylist recognizes that the client is emotionally unstable, so the stylist usually doesn’t want to see a client get a style she’s going to regret.

        Britney did that to herself by grabbing the clippers. The stylist didn’t want to do what Britney asked, so Britney got angry and grabbed the clippers and went at it herself. So, yeah…no stylist in L.A. will let a woman look stupid. The stupidity of Britney’s decision fell on Britney and Britney alone.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      Christina,

      This coming from the plastic surgery capital of the world? LOL come on now love…

      My comments aren't confined to NY. Whether its LA, MIA, ATL, DR, Bermuda, Toronto, Japan, wherever women do these things. I bet you that you know women who've said and done those things… maybe they haven't said it to YOU but come on! You've never had a friend do soemthing crazy and you may have pulled a punch until you felt more comfy telling them?

      Also for the hair stylist piece, a stylist might look at a woman and see that it looks fly, that doesn't mean that it looks fly to HER though… thats what Im saying.

      Those webistes you brought up are VERY crucial too. Women need to utilize 21st century solutions for these problems

      • Christina

        Streetz,

        I think you’re getting Los Angeles confused with the glitter and glamour of Hollywood. The only people getting plastic surgery are celebrities. Matter of fact, most celebrities don’t even want to get plastic surgery, but the entertainment industry, aka Hollywood, forces celebrities to look a certain way to maintain and increase their image and audience. Not only that, celebrities have the money to make drastic changes, the average Angelino/Angelina doesn’t. Natives of Los Angeles don’t fall for or believe in the hype/ non-sense that is seen on TV. We’ve lived here long enough, so we’re not hoodwinked by what celebrities do. We recognize that it’s a part of their job description…it’s not who these celebrities really are. I know you’re from NY, so that’s why I made that comment about NY chicks being grimy. I apologize if I offended you. I tell my friends the truth because I care about my friends. My friends are not afraid to voice their likes/dislikes about me because that is what true friends are for. People who know me know I can handle the truth because I’m always dishing it. If I don’t like a friend’s hairstyle I say, “ Oh, you changed your hair. I don’t really like that look because ______.” I don’t talk shit about my friends behind their back…I talk shit about them to their face. I guarantee you would have a better understanding of why I’m so truthful and honest if you met me and personally knew me.

        • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetz

          Christina,

          No harm no foul :) I love LA and wasn't really offended, but I gotta hold my city down! I think a lot of the points I made were valid and there will always be exceptions. You seem to be that exception. Ive met madd women from Cali who mirror what you said, so of course I cosign.

          You're def a good friend too. Some chicks got their homies lookin a MESS lol…

    • BP

      I have to agree with Christina and say my hairstylist won't do anything crazy to my hair even if I asked her to. We both reside in Cali and she works on video sets and knows what is cute and what is not. I would love to cut all my hair off but she has told me twice not to do it. My hair is long right now and Halle's short haircut would probably make me look like a WOP head.

    • Sade

      I agree, I live in Cali and I have to yell, argue, b*tch and moan if I want my stylist to do something to my hair that she isn't completely sure will look good on me. It even gets as serious as what type of hair I use and that's why I keep going back

      • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

        Well thats cool for yall. Same thing happens in NYC. Doesn't mean that your friends or S/O won't cosign no bS, lol.

        Good thing that your stylists look out.

  • http://www.unpurethoughts.wordpress.com Lola

    I am not my hair.

    Ive had my hair down to my lower back, dark brown all natural, then I went blonde, still long… after I ended a relationship I chopped it off because he loved it long and blonde and that was the only reason I was keeping it long. Now, Ive had it short, a la Rihanna, twice, Ive had the Victoria Beckham, in dark and blonde, and Ive had long extensions put in. Now, Im short again, and letting it grow out, but quite frankly I love my hair short, #ShortHairDontCare, its so easy to take care of and the styles are all spunky that mirror my personality.

    I see what you say bout some of us women cutting it off because we got out of a relationship, but sometimes we find our hair representing us and defining us, and thats not (who some of us) are. There were times when Ive cut my hair because of stress, because that was one of the very few things I could control in a point of my life where I had absolutely no control over every thing else, its almost like a new start. When sitting on that chair and seeing the hair just hit the floor its such a relief its litteraly as if weight was cut off from us, its refreshing.

    Now, Im letting the hair grow out and even tho I want to keep my hair this short, I know Ill be hating myself for not having my hair long next year…

    Good post!

  • http://www.twitter.com/thehrladyj Lady Jei

    My short hair is off the hook. Point blank period.

    Had it long, all it does is lay there. Now I go into a spot and I can see every woman looks exactly the same. The long weave/lacefront/real hair, part down the middle and curls. Or that egyptian bang and long. They all look the same. Or its in a ponytail. Long hair is over rated as far I'm concerned now.

    Me, I stand out in a crowd. I can curl it up, down, add a few tracks and put some color in it. And it grows out so fast, so I can have it completely shaved off in the back and sides, or taper it with small layered curls as it grows back.

    I just truly love walking in a restaurant/lounge/club/anywhere and I look totally different from every other chick in there. Makes me chuckle to myself. B/c most women may want to cut their hair but for whatever reasons are scared. Its just hair, it'll grow back. And the lacefront business ain't going no where, lol!

    Thus why Rihanna cut her hair and her career soared b/c she no longer looked like Bey and every other female artist at the time. And she still goes 'there' with her hair. While Bey has had that long dusty blond weave since 'No,no, no' lol!

    And if he needs something to grab at, grab them sheets or bite into a pill, lol!

    #ShortHairDontCare

    • LetsLove

      Usually a lurker… but this response was too perfect for me to pass up…

      "They all look the same…. Long hair is overrated"

      YES YES YES

      This is precisely why I just cut my hair. I started to feel like a copy of the standard young black women with my weave. I had been growing it natural for the past three years (isn't everyone?)… so it was a really tough decision…but I am VERY happy with it. My hair is NOT what makes me pretty – its my face, my energy, my confidence, etc. However my hair looks BOMB and I can tell by the way your man does a double take when I walk by you two! :) Bwahahahaha. I'm kidding!

      Women ARE defined by their hair! It's like your comforting blanket that you rely on. Something about flowing hair, real or not, makes you feel beautiful. If a man cannot see me as beautiful with my short hair… I may think he is a bit shallow. I just met a guy who works out of town… when we met me I had the weave and I haven't told him I cut it so… we shall see!

      I do feel as though I look a little… super strong. Like white folks might be a bit scared of me…

      Is there nothing to be said of women with short sexy hair? You have never seen a women go from long to short and it just brought out her face even more and you loved it??

      Also.. I don't understand this whole "something to tug at" thing… despite the fact that it is short, you can STILL grab it! In fact… it's even more aggressive and primal and you might like it better then carefully wrapping that weave around your wrist and then pulling! Grab a handful and get crazy!

      • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

        Thanks for delurking and great comments by you and Lady Jei!

        Let me say this: This ALSO wasn't a long hair vs short hair debate! A woman with short hair that LOOKS GOOD is super s*xy to me too. My issue is women destroying their hair and they don't look good, or opting for a hairstyle that's unflattering. Whether you cut it, color it, relax it, or whatever. That was my point!

        Of course you will have women who look super nice with short hair, medium and long. Let's not sit here and front like you all don't know people who tried to chop it off to rebel and … lets just say they didn't have Egypt's success with revolution, lol…

        • LetsLove

          Very true!

          Chopping it off is a risk that definitely needs to be calculated. I always play with the idea for at least a month. That's where our friends are SUPPOSED to come in… I certainly don't like to roll with a bunch of crazy looking females – or even one. One girl in the group with bright blue and red highlights in her black hair can make the entire group look ratchet. It only hurts you in the long run.

          This is why I ALWAYS try to be honest with friends – but then there are friends who you just KNOW cannot really handle that level of truth. They are the same ones who think you are jealous after you answer honestly when they ask what you think of their new ex-con/working under-the-table on his way to be a rapper boyfriend because your single. O_o #honeyhush

          Good point about asking members of the opposite sex… seems very obvious but this is something I have actually never done prior to getting a cut.

      • Starita34

        <blockquote cite="comment-311981">

        LetsLove:

        Is there nothing to be said of women with short sexy hair?

        Funny you should ask… http://bit.ly/aC4E3a

        Welcome!!

        • LetsLove

          Thanks for the welcome and for the link to that post!! An excellent read.
          :)

        • Starita34

          *head nod*

    • SMilez__920

      I doubt your the only one in the spot with short hair no shade but long hair or short hair is not over rated. When Riri cut her hair every chick from the hood to hollywood cut there hair like her's same with Amber Rose.Other singers have had short hair cuts Toni Braxton, monica, Kelis, Keshia Cole. It's all about what looks good on a person. You might look great with short hair but the women next to you with the 12inch Remy may not. Short or long hair makes no one different just improves or harms their overall look

  • http://yahoo namia

    I keep my hair long..well fairly below shoulders..have always loved it long. I know a chick who always claimed to love short hair cause she said its fly, versatile blah blah ..kept cutting it every chance she got. Funny thing after she got a boyfriend who told her he dint like short hair..she cant grow it fast enough!!!! funny if u ask me…

    • Therelucantsocialte

      <blockquote cite="comment-311970">

      namia: Funny thing after she got a boyfriend who told her he dint like short hair..she cant grow it fast enough!!!! funny if u ask me…

      Thats dumb…

      I dated a guy that liked long straight hair. Problem is that I have curly, shoulder length natural hair… and… thats the way he met me. So… I feel like he really had no room to complain.

      Occasionally, just to surprise him (or when I went to get a trim) I would have my hair blow dried and flat ironed. I knew that he liked the style on me and I was willing to do it for him OCASSIONALLY. However, I was not going to change up the way I wore my on an everyday basis for him. Its not that deep…

  • http://www.irantb4ireason.blogspot.com willfollow4cash

    In my life there are a few topics that inspire serious and potentially life threatening debate. Religion, Race, Politics and Women's hair. In regards to what women should do with it, I'm not going there. Bottom line is do what makes you feel confident. Confidence is sexy. Sexy = Sex + Y. Y? because I care.

    Having long wavy natural hair, or a black fist bumping afro isn't possible for everyone, nor is it the ideal for everyone. Fuck a hater. Carry on about your business because even if there was a universal law passed that forbade and hair aid(deceit) of any kind, there would still be issues. Men would be happy, until they realise that lot' of women were not happy. Unhappy women = Unhappy men = increased murder rates. Sorry guys but if you decide to only mess with natural hair girls you will find the "eligible" women ratios will no longer be in your favour.

    Some women use weave etc as an added bonus to their follicalage, other need it to deal with the follicalage that they may not have luck/time/bother to deal with. Taking these tools away MIGHT encourage women to embrace natural beauty, but having said that will men embrace the real natural beauty too? I'm mean the real natural/nappy/pepper corn/ ginger/ patchy/bald or whatever God gave to some ladies.

    While we are at it let's stop shaving(!) plucking, wearing make up, figure hugging clothes and all the things that women use to enhance their appearance.

    I think that men forget that over time women have done a lot to make themselves easier on the eye, so before you start throwing up arms now and demandind natural beauty back you might want hold on. wait a minute. put some Brookyln in it.=> basically you may not be ready for what your asking for.

    Leave Shaniqua’s blonde remy hair 6ft weave alone. Leave Becky’s bottle of peroxide be. Leave Nfumis afro kinky be, let it be, just let it be!!!!!

    RANT OVER. I’ll get back in my box now.

  • QueenT

    It's just hair Streetz…hair grows back. I don't know why Men are like this….every man I have ever dealt with has an issue with hair…they like my hair long….and they ask me to please not cut it. I usually go ahead and leave it long….but, I remember back in the day..I had this cute little Halle Barry cut…it was soo freeing..I cut all that hair off…and guess what? it grew back…..lol…hair does grow back…and what I realy wanna do with my hair one day is…cut it all off..like a boy cut…really low like Amber Rose…OH! Why don't the dudes care that Amber Rose has no hair! Somehow she get's a pass with the baldy look? Hmph.

    I do really co-sign with your point…that women cut their hair or do something major when they are coming out of a relationship…..when I got my divorce…I went blonde…I don't think it was the best look…some people liked it and some people didn't…but, it made me feel better. lol. I wanted to totally re-invent my look and that is what I did….it was very freeing.

    .I

    • LiteBriteGuy

      Amber Rose can get away with it for the same reason Halle Berry, Nia Long, and Jada Pinkett can. They have both a beautiful face and an aesthetically pleasing shaped head. It's important to note that a woman must have both to make the look work. If Amber was ugly or had a big, lumpy shaped head, she would just be a bald headed woman with a nice body. I know your thinking Halle, Nia, and Jada's hair wasn't as short as Amber's, but if they chose to cut that way it would work.

      That being said, if they dont have that exact combination, it's still refreshing and sexy to see a woman who has the confidence to fly in the face of conformity.

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Peter Parker

      "Why don’t the dudes care that Amber Rose has no hair! Somehow she get’s a pass with the baldy look? Hmph."

      honestly, she gets no pass from me. i personally don't find Amber Rose attractive (while i'll admit her body kinda bangin) and it's mainly due to the fact that she rocks a cesar.

      call me eurocentric, call me ignorant, yadda yadda, but 9 times outta 10, a woman rocking the same hairstyle i rock (cesar) really is a turnoff. I REALLY GET that it's a woman's hair, i have to really stress this. but at the same time, i am personally turned off by a female cutting their hair on some male sh*t.

      *hands y'all paintballs to shoot at me*

      • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

        Pete, I'ma take those same bullets. I've said this before, but I have no problem sayin' it again… I'm not tryin' to go get faded up with my woman. There are many things we can share, but a barber ain't one.

  • http://www.magnetforfoolishness.wordpress.com Magnet for Foolishne

    I traditionally get my hair cut at the beginning of every summer because HAIR IS HOT. Dang. Guess I should cancel my appt for this weekend…

  • http://abigbuttandasmile.com A Big Butt and a Smi

    *rolls eyes*

    Whatever.

    I cut all my hair off back in 2006. I rock a Caesar. Best thing I eve did. Get more compliments. Quality of the men who try to holler went up (not having hair eliminates thug types who otherwise appreciate the light skin and big booty) – it was all around a great deal.

    So yeah…once again general preference made wisdom is uh..well…just an opinion…

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      The fact is that you look good with it, right? THATS THE POINT!

      • Starita34

        lol, yeah, this was glossed over by a few people:

        "Now let me say beforehand that this is not a “good hair v. bad hair” or “long hair vs short hair” or “natural vs permed” argument."

        What can we say? We're sensitive about our ish…

    • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

      @Big Butt & a Smile

      I'd like to listen to what you're saying, but according to a very famous song, I can't trust you. LOL

      • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

        #PoisonComment

        LOL

        <blockquote cite="comment-312079">

        Starita34:

        lol, yeah, this was glossed over by a few people:

        “Now let me say beforehand that this is not a “good hair v. bad hair” or “long hair vs short hair” or “natural vs permed” argument.”

        What can we say?We’re sensitive about our ish…

        Im not surprised… people ALWAYS glance over points we make!

      • Starita34

        LMAO @ TWIsM!!!

      • http://abigbuttandasmile.com A Big Butt and a Smi

        Folk REALLY can't resist from saying that SMH.

  • http://liferequiresmorechocolate.com Tiffany

    WORD!!!!

  • TellyLongLegs

    This post is funny Streetz. 

    I do suffer from the color/dye/do something crazy to my hair after something traumatic happens in my life. It's just so easy and an expression of change or the act of removing dead weight. At least that's what I say to myself. 

  • Hugh Jazz

    You have the freedom to do what you want with your hair. Just keep in mind that everyone else has the freedom to not like it. If you truly don't care, go for it.

    • cynicaloptimist81

      Exactly.

      I care. Don't get me wrong, I don't dress solely to impress men. But, I'd be all types of lying if I said it wasn't part of it. I don't wanna just look good to me. I want to look good…period. So, I'm gonna be conscious of what others, especially those closest to me, are saying.

  • Ivy

    Do what you feel….period.

  • RC Turi

    I have issues with commitment so I definitely don't do anything permanent to my hair. I also cannot tolerate long hair for more than a couple of weeks. So there goes that.

    I rock a fro that I have braided up sometimes. I really also prefer to meet people when I'm wearing my fro so that they have no misconceptions about me.

    Long hair, short hair, fly is fly. It shouldn't matter that a woman with long hair goes short or the reverse.

  • MissCTG

    <blockquote cite="comment-311988">

    Streetz:

    If I go out the house with pum pum shorts, that might be cool for me, but I doubt women will say “eff it he wears boty ridas thats him, hes still sessy” sometimes stuff looks dumb and if you can avoid it, you should!

    LOL! Not the pum pum shorts Streetz!! =-O

  • http://earsandlps.wordpress.com LaLaBakir

    I cut and color my hair often…and rarely think twice about it. Sure, there's a nervousness when I'm in the chair and the scissors are going. But it always looks great and the thing I have going for myself that (surprisingly) a number of women don't is I know how to do my own hair. Meaning, the only thing I really need a stylist for is to cut my hair.

    Anyways, I wish some women would cut their hair. Holding on to that thin ponytail just b/c it almost hits the middle of your back is not what's cool. That see through doobie (where I can see your neck through your hair)? Yeah, cut that sh*t. Get a nice bob. Or hell, put some tracks in.

    The only thing I'm against is unhealthy hair. Friends shouldn't let friends have unhealthy hair.

    • Sade

      I 100% cosign!!! Especially the part about unhealthy hair. I hate when people spend 100s of dollars on weaves and neglect their own God given hair.

    • TellyLongLegs

      I agree ladies. Walking around with long unhealty hair is not cute. Length is NOT that important.

    • BP

      CO-SIGN! Thin see-through hair is the worse…looking like dope feens. #ican't

    • http://earsandlps.wordpress.com LaLaBakir

      I'm #TeamHealthy hair. Do whatever you want to it, as long as it's healthy (and you can maintain the style. I see too many chicks that have maintenance issues with their hair. If you can't keep up with the landscaping of that mohawk or deep conditioning for your blonde tresses DON'T DO IT!)

      • http://www.shesoflyy.wordpress.com Muze

        this.

    • Starita34

      Yurp!

  • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

    All I'm going to say today besides my comment above is you brothas gonna end up on Snapped if you keep trying to tell these women what to do with they bodies. lol

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      LOL way to play it safe WIM…

      I'm not telling anyone to do sh*t. I'm just advising on perception and looking out for them!

      • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

        LOL Sir, you are welcome to stay on the Titanic if you want. You a grown @ss man.

        *grabs life jacket and heads towards the lifeboat section*

        • http://earsandlps.wordpress.com LaLaBakir

          *starts playing violins*

          *scratch that, and grabs the bass*

        • NinaFontaine

          Singing "….. and iiiiiiiiiiiii know that my heart will goooooooo oooooooooon"

      • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

        Yo Streetz, WIM is MAVERICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

          Yeah I peeped that early, lmao

        • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

          Like I told Streetz on the Twitter. Yall are like the Republicans in 2008, drunk with power and waging war on countries looking for "weapons of mass destruction."

          Nah, I'm good. I shall question yall’s methods like a former senator from Chicago, Illinois. What was his name again? Oh yea….

          BARACK OBAMA!

  • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

    So Im gonna get a mohawk with waves, shave off all my facial hair, and get a eyebrow piercing. Do what you feel right?

    #SWAG

    • http://stillnatural.wordpress.com N.I.A. naturally

      Keep the facial hair. With a mohawk, and eyebrow piercing, your facial hair will be the only thing keeping me from immediately thinking you play for the other team. NTTAWWT… Granted, I may still think that, but at least it won't be immediately. lol.

  • http://livelovesingwithme.tumblr.com LiveLoveSing

    I feel what Streetz is saying about not cutting your hair for the sake of experimenting or just because you're "going through it" but I feel like a lot of us (myself included) are getting a tad defensive because the same can be said for pretty much any other hairstyle. And even though doing things like putting in crazy colors is mentioned, the focus is on cutting hair.

    There are plenty of women out there who have friends that will let them walk out of the house in a ratchet strawberry blonde weave or orange micro braids (it's so hard in the D) and will say they did it for the same reason that another woman might say she cut her hair. All of it is crazy. It's all about doing what compliments YOU the best. I used to have long permed hair and I hated how I looked. I would always put in braids because the straight thing just wasn't working out for me. So I cut it first and then went natural. And now my swag is on a hundred thousand trillion #POW

    LOL but seriously, this whole thing regarding friends who will let their friends walk out the house looking crazy needs to be exposed! Hate will get you nowhere, so thanks for that Streetz ;-)

    • http://earsandlps.wordpress.com LaLaBakir

      I suppose that's the part that I don't understand (not cutting your hair for the sake of experimenting). IMO, anything you do to your hair for the first time is an experiment. You have to experiment w/ different styles, products, etc. to see what works for you.

      • http://livelovesingwithme.tumblr.com LiveLoveSing

        As a female, I completely agree with you. There definitely is some experimenting that needs to happen before you fall into zen with your hair lol. But I can also see how men don't like it because it's inconsistent and it's taking a risk on how attracted they will be to a woman. And it's change….a lot of people just don't like change, no matter how small it may seem. I also feel like I don't see a lot of women who cut their hair just to experiment. Most of the women I know have done it for the reasons mentioned (i.e. I broke up with my man, I just got fired, I need to start over, I'm over the Black woman stereotypes *black fist*) and it's interesting that all of those emotions can be tied to (and mediated by) hair. I guess at the end of the day what matters most is that you're comfortable with what's gone down as a result of said experiment (which can be hard, the TWA phase was horrible for me) and like Hugh said earlier, don't expect everybody to like it lol.

      • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

        La,

        I guess I should clarify. Experimentation is cool. What I'm saying is the type of "this is gonna suck but I dont care Im gonna liberate myself" erroneous way of thinking.

        I just think people should keep it real. Don't destroy and rebuild if you truly believe nothing is wrong. There's nothing wrong with modifications, but when it's done for the sake of…with anything…I just feel like you're losing. Its a gamble either way, but with things like hair I think you should take a calculated gamble.

        I just saw a lot of women hate the fact that they did something crazy with their hair after the fact. Maybe experiment was the wrong word? I'll concede that.

        • http://earsandlps.wordpress.com LaLaBakir

          @LiveLoveSong @Streetz

          So ya'll are basically, anti-emotionally charged hair changes? Or knowing you have a big @ss head but getting the Amber Rose anyways? I can dig it, I suppose. I've cut my hair before after a rough period…I guess the difference is I was already plotting on the cut and doing something nice for myself helped cheer me up.

          *shrugs*

          I guess I don't really understand the regrets aspect of it. You did it. It's done. Figure out a way to freak that sh*t and keep it moving.

        • Starita34

          <blockquote cite="comment-312025">

          LaLaBakir:

          I guess I don’t really understand the regrets aspect of it.You did it. It’s done.

          That's cause you're effin gorgeous and you'd look good with just a single lock of hair in a bow AKA the Cherry.
          http://bit.ly/iqoQzX

          ;-)

        • http://earsandlps.wordpress.com LaLaBakir

          @Star

          I can only imagine what the pic was b/c its blocked at my job :(

        • Starita34

          It's a gif of the Cherry wig reveal from I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, not nasty… this time

      • http://www.shesoflyy.wordpress.com Muze

        short hair also looks fab on you though, Lala. errybody ain't able. lol.

        jussaying.

        • http://earsandlps.wordpress.com LaLaBakir

          Lol! I fully acknowledge that I'm able to rock a plethora of hair styles. But I think a part of it is the confidence I have rocking it, ya know? I just cut my hair like 3 weeks ago (too hot for Beiber bangs) and was kinda like "ehh" at first. But I had to work it w/ confidence and play w/ styling it until I was cool w/

          Funny thing is…I've gotten MAD compliments on the cut. Go figure.

  • http://www.shesoflyy.wordpress.com Muze

    this is funny. hair has always been just, hair… to me. my hair grows fast so i'd cut it all willy nilly with no warranted reason why.

    a couple years ago though, my hair was the longest it's ever been, almost to my lower back/waist, and i just got sick of it one day. (big, natural hair requires a lot of maintenance, contrary to what a lot of people think) my mom and sister looked on in horror (pretty sure my sister screamed and almost cried) as i took the scissors and literally cut my hair to about 2 inches of a baby fro thing all around. i felt good. like, really good when i did a 360 and examined my work in the mirror. i felt fierce!

    …the next day though, i dang near had a heart attack and hyperventilated for about an hour as i woke to a draft on my ears and realized i REALLY cut 15 inches of hair off my head on a whim. 15 inches! gone. lol. i was SO regretful but i knew it was for the greater good (my hair is natural, but i'd let some over-zealous guy flat-iron it and after whatever he put in my hair, it wouldn't do a curly fro anymore… just kind of wave up and hang down. i was sadness.) and the health of my hair, and now that it's grown almost fully back, i'm about to cut it again to even it up. i will never do anything that drastic again though. ever. i traumatized myself, and so yeah… i'm good on cutting more than 6 inches at any one time anymore. next time i get sick of it i will just throw on a short wig and call it a day. lol.

    on the issue of friends though, sometimes it's hard to tell someone they'll look like a ghetto skunk or young jeezy's twin if they cut or change their hair, especially if they're really firm in their decision. i always tell them to reeeally think about it, but usually once a hairdresser has convinced someone they will be "fierce" "fly" "fabulous" and not "f*cked up" lol… there is no changing their mind.

    on the issue of men, well i had a friend whose husband didn't speak to her for 3 days because she went natural. and when i say went natural, i mean she went from having long, long, permed hair to a caeser cut identical to his one night, and surprised him in the morning. LOL. i think it was just the drasticness of it all. i cracked up though. lol. i never realized how important hair is to men until i went natural. men love big hair. lol.

  • http://redlady821.wordpress.com/ RedLady821

    This post made me really proud of myself because for the first time ever I went through something drastic and didn't take it out on my hair. Oh it was hard. I even made the appointment to cut it down to the bone but at the last minute I realized that I was making an emotional decision and not a decision that would keep me in my best light.

    On the other hand, my gf's keep it very real with me and will tell me in a MINUTE if I am looking at hot mess. Sometimes I can walk in the door and tell by the expression on their faces whether or not they think the hair is wack. "I don't like it" will fly out of their mouths faster than a NY minute before they just talk about me behind my back.

    Overall I agree Streetz, women need to stop making emotional decisions with their hair, but it's a hard habit to break!

  • CPT Callamity

    I noticed in college the chicks who slutted themselves out freshman year usually had a transformation before Sophomore year and then when they returned in the fall come back with the girlfro, which morphed into the push back afro puff thingy which manifested into dreads. They usually went the "I'm a naturally beautiful queen" thing after their rep was damaged. Some of them resorted to poetry or writing deep thoughts about their transformation but some of us knew the deal.

    I have no problems when chicks decide to cut it all off in an effort to de-chemicalize (yeah that's a word I made up) their hair since it starts falling out, breaking at the ends or whatever other debacle happens. It's only funny when they get tired of Nay'ronte treating them badly and then decide to shed all the angst by chopping off one side of their hair Rhianna style and then coming to work looking like someone with Turrets and a set of clippers attacked them. Okay…go ahead and give me my thumbs down for the day.

  • http://stillnatural.wordpress.com N.I.A. naturally

    I understand what you're saying, Streetz. Sometimes, women can go too far with altering their hair, and it looks more of a mess than a statement of freedom. However, I don't necesarily put cutting into this category. Crazy, rainbow brite colors, yes. A drastic cut, it depends…

    A change in hairstyle can give you a new outlook on life, and generally make you feel new and refreshed. I've been relaxed long, relaxed short, TWA, medium 'fro, loc's short, and now loc'd long. My hair has been midnight black to brownish red. I've looked great through it all, and each hair change has marked certain stages in my development as a woman, marks periods of growth and maturity.

    I'm all for doing what you feel is best for you. Of course there will be men (and women) who won't like it, but if its good for you emotionally and spiritually, eff those folks. Who needs them? lol. Believe it or not, some people will still like it, and you just might be better off in the long run.

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      <blockquote cite="comment-312030">

      N.I.A. naturally:

      A change in hairstyle can give you a new outlook on life, and generally make you feel new and refreshed. I’ve been relaxed long, relaxed short, TWA, medium ‘fro, loc’s short, and now loc’d long. My hair has been midnight black to brownish red. I’ve looked great through it all, and each hair change has marked certain stages in my development as a woman, marks periods of growth and maturity.

      This is the crux of my comment. You looked GOOD with the alteration. A lot of women who do it, DONT! Feel me? Im just saying have prudence before you go off the deep end

      • http://stillnatural.wordpress.com N.I.A. naturally

        I feel you… You have to know when too much is, indeed, too much. Then again, as long as she's not in my circle rocking hot pink extensions, then I say "do you, boo boo!" lol.

    • MsEvahoney

      Very well said. I did the emotional "give us free" big chop 2 yrs ago after a bad break up and just stayed natural. I LOVE my hair now, but when I first cut it into that TWA, im not gone lie, i looked a hot mess. Rocked wigs for a bit, but then just embraced it. I have always been one to experiment with my hair and will continue to do so, BUT if it looks a mess i will rectify it. I am to old and professional to walk around with a purple mohawk (my neighbor has one).

      Good Post Streetz

      It's my first time posting on one of your post

      • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

        So u been shading my posts huh? **bbm talk to hand smiley**

        LOL

        Welcome! and thanks for the comment!

      • MsEvahoney

        yeah I am little tardy for the party. Thanks though!

      • http://stillnatural.wordpress.com N.I.A. naturally

        Why does your neighbor have a purple mohawk? And I don't want to hear anything about emotional turmoil. lol. There is never a good reason to dye your hair some unnatural, ungodly color. lol.

        • MsEvahoney

          Girl and she a black mother of two *smh* There is nothing going on in her life that is that damn crucial. She just wants to be different.

  • jdot

    I've always thought to myself: why are we so attached to our hair? Cutting off my hair in 05 wasn't as traumatizing as I thought. Growing locs… that was easy peasy. I was actually more concerned about the permanence and maintenance of locs. Now, I can't say I don't have moments when I want to chop my dreads all off and rock a short short short cut a la Amber Rose sans blond coloring. Some days I miss my fro, other days I miss my chin length dreads and I swear I've had many a friend talk me down from a drastic DIY cut.

    I just can't stand when some women go back and forth every week because of what OTHER people say. As encouraging as 99 people are about their hair style, these women will let 1 person tell them it's ugly and have a crisis. That's lame. Make a choice and stick with it. And guess what? If she doesn't want to stick with it, she has the freedom to do something else. Almost nothing is *really* permanent.

    I won't say it's only hair because that would imply there isn't more to it (notions of beauty, femininity, and for some Black women authenticity) but it grows back.

  • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

    It's a Man's World. Women should stop trying to define sh*t for themselves. No one really cares. Look around you, everything that men desire in terms of aesthetics is what is the standard. You can be different if you want to, that's your decision. Men have spoken, stop doing random sh*t with your hair.

    • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

      I can always count on Dr. J to give the news straight-up gully in these e-streets. lol

    • TellyLongLegs

      Dr. J, your comment is hidden again?! Goodness gracious.

    • Hugh Jazz

      <blockquote cite="comment-312038">

      Dr. J: It’s a Man’s World. Women should stop trying to define sh*t for themselves. No one really cares.

      The problem isn't women defining sh*t for themselves. It's them trying to define sh*t for men. If you like your hair short, good for you. Men will still prefer long hair. Whining about "it shouldn't matter" won't change our preferences.

      • http://singleblackmale.org Dr. J (here but not

        Nah i'm talking about something different. I'm talking about comments like, "My hair is my hair" or "My hair does not define me" they sound eerily similar to "Why is it that if a man does the same exact thing he's not a ho?"

        That's all i'm saying.

  • NinaFontaine

    I just have to say Y'all are ON ONE this week – I love it ……….can't wait 'til tomorrow's post!

  • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    I'm actually having the majority of my hurr cut this weekend! Not necessarily for experimenting (though I'm excited/anxious about a new 'do), but because I'm going natural. So, going to a semi-big chop since I have some hair growth going on. It's perfect for the summer (hair on your neck SUCKS in hot weather/humidity), but I will definitely be growing it because I lust for big hair. Hope I don't get any drawn-out cayoootes doe. ;)

    *as I sashay outta this comment thread*

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      Smh…

      Nah good deal Cheekie! I appreciate that you thought that through before making it do what it do!

      I thought your hair was natural already tho? Your hair swindled me, lol

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        LOL @ the hair swindle. It's half natural, half permed. In transition. Just cutting most of the creamy crack out, lol.

  • http://www.irantb4ireason.blogspot.com willfollow4cash

    @ Dr J=> Man's World eh? *said with extra emphasis to my already british accent*

    When men says this I imagine a senario where all women come together and decide to take drastic measures to increase the "market value" or our "stock".

    How would we do this I hear you scoff…

    Do you really want to know?

    How do really think we got vote?….just saying. Don't tempt us. There are silent suffragettes positioned worldwide just waiting for the right cause. We are letting you babysit the world for a while…

    @streetz => Nice post, I responded to it properly earlier. In short. I said be careful what you wish for, there is knock on affects. See comment above for elaboration.

    • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

      You don't want to have that conversation. Put it like this, you know how you got the right to vote, because men gave you the right to vote. The gross majority of you vote for who your spouse votes for. Which in turn means that although you have the right to vote, we could just as the same go back to only letting the head of the household vote and have the same results. But go ahead, I don't want to mess with your opinion of the voting system.

      • Sade

        I would have thought that that's because most people marry people with similar religious, political and world views…

        • http://singleblackmale.org Dr. J (here but not

          You're right about that. But the argument was that previously the head of the household was the one who voted, but in practice that was always the man. People do marry people with similar views, but the question is, "What's wrong with one vote per household?" I mean, I agree that it's ignorant. But i'm just putting that information out there.

        • Sade

          Then honestly, I'm not sure what your point was. The only reason that tidbit would be at all relevant would be if you were saying that women vote the way they do BECAUSE of their husbands and that doesn't seem to be what you're saying

      • Chrissy

        This is a really funny comment. Yes, men gave women the right to vote but white men also gave black men the right to vote. Without white men I guess no woman or black man would be voting.

  • http://livelovesingwithme.tumblr.com LiveLoveSing

    <blockquote cite="comment-312025">

    LaLaBakir:

    @LiveLoveSong @Streetz

    So ya’ll are basically, anti-emotionally charged hair changes?Or knowing you have a big @ss head but getting the Amber Rose anyways?I can dig it, I suppose.I’ve cut my hair before after a rough period…I guess the difference is I was already plotting on the cut and doing something nice for myself helped cheer me up.

    That's pretty much what I was saying. :-) But I also know that wanting to change one's physical appearance is a very real reaction to drastic events. And the easiest thing to change is hair…so I can't say I'm being completely honest with myself in these comments.

    Also, LOVE the short hair on you!

  • cynicaloptimist81

    First of all, y'all ladies know good and well you've seen a bad hairdo/cut in your day, LOL. Y'all know hairdressers get scissor happy…and start adding to what you said you wanted from time to time. Every time the hair dresser picks up some scissors, or mixes that color, we are taking a HUGE risk. Shoot, earlier this year, I walked around for about 2 weeks with ghetto yellow hair in the front cause I decided to experiment with the light blonde color instead of putting in my usual honey blonde! I felt like Big Bird! I was so embarrassed. It was young girlish…a total switch from my classy, classic look.

    I don't think Streetz is trying to rob us any liberties, lol. I think he's just giving us a friendly reminder to think long and hard before making drastic changes.

    As someone who's had extremely long (lower back long) hair all my life, people always get up in arms when I mention that I'm thinking about cutting it. It doesn't bother me at all. I get their attachment to it. I've had short hair twice. When I was 18 (it was damaged after I started using tracks to add thickness to my hair) and then I chopped it all off at 23 to start my locs (#clubnatural).

    Right after my smile and my behind (lol), my hair gets the most compliments from men. EVERY man I've dated has put "You bet not cut it" in the relationship contract. And, I sure do agree to it. I love that HE loves it. And, I'm admittedly superficial when it comes to my man's appearance as well (work and lounging doesn't count). So, his section of the contract has the following: "Don't pop-up razor bald", "No man-dals", "No excessive weight gain", "No biting your nails", "NEVER tuck your shirt into your jeans", "No linen garmets", "Only limited shopping excursions at Changes and Downtown Locker Room" (I can't be in public with a man who dresses like a yo-boy on the regular, sorry…dress like a grown man), "Your pants legs should be no smaller or bigger than Levis 514 straight leg jeans", "Tailored suits only…no Steve Harvey joints"…man, I could go on and on, LOL. And, surprise, surprise, men care about what we think about their appearance as well. So, I get EVERYTHING I require…well eventually (sometimes the wardrobe change takes some massaging, lol…still trying to get my bf to at least try on a cardigan). ;-) *fist pump*

    • TellyLongLegs

      This!

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      All of this comment here!

      I do bite my nails… my vices are a package deal though, hhahahaa

      That's another point in my blog that you made with this comment: we all care about appearance in some way, shape, or form!

    • cynicaloptimist81

      PLUS, gotta admit, those short hair cuts are the BOMB when you walk out the salon (with a good cut, lol).

      HOWEVER…

      What does it look like after wild night?! o_0

      What does it look like after you've slept on it for 3 days?! o_0

      What does it look like when you need a touch up in the back?! o_0

      What does it look like when you have to bump it, yet you don't have the skills like your hairdresser?! o_0

      What does it look like when your hairdresser cancels on you and you have to go to the always available whack stylist in the salon?! o_0

      LMBO!

      Now, folks with long hair have the same issues, yes, you're right. We are not immuned to humidity, no. But, at least we can rock the classic standby…THE PONYTAIL! LOL!

      Y'all know I ain't lyin…

  • http://www.zyohncafe.wordpress.com Mika

    "…They will be the friends to tell you to get the hot pink and lavender highlights when you are a partner in a law firm".

    Lmao! Good one Streetz.

    I'm happy to say that my friends and I are honest with each other about such things. My bestfriend must approve any drastic changes I make to my hair or style and vice versa. I trust and value her opinion so much. She always keeps it real with me and I do the same.

  • http://codecipher.blogspot.com MeteorMan

    Yeah. I never understood it when a woman constantly "trim" her hair and then wonder why it's not growing (everytime she looks in the mirror).

    As a man, I can not tell a woman what to or not do with her hair. But when you ask me for my opinion be aware that I will give it. Let me put this question out there: What is the purpose of permed hair again? Don't say it can be "easily managed" b/c we all know practice makes perfect. And don't say it's b/c black men in the 50s wanted women the resembled white women b/c it's now 2011. Black men USED to do it to emulate the hair styles of white men (see: Chuck Berry) I honestly believe that you can not look at someone a based on their hair say if they wish to look like another race or if they have a self-hate thing going on. Only until my early 20s did I really learn what a perm was. I'm mad at ya'll. BUT it is YOUR hair. It's it makes you happy…

    True story:
    Her: Hey Babe. I got it permed! *smiling*
    Me: That's nice.
    Her: I hear you, but why do you look like someone stole your puppy?

    So tell me, why do women put themselves (and their children) through that TRAUMA of hair perming?

    • http://codecipher.blogspot.com MeteorMan

      Moreover, just make sure it's presentable. Give me a heads up though b/c as your BF and if your "experiment" fails, you'll still expect me to be seen with you in public. LOL I have to be ready…

    • TellyLongLegs

      I know when I used to relax my hair it was because I had the notion that my hair was unmanageable. I mean when it was time to get a relaxer the combs wouldn't even go through my hair. Hell, I broke combs left and right. When I was younger my mom took hours to do my hair and since she didn't know any better she would yank my hair while combing it and I would cry the whole time. By the time I got to the third grade all I saw was straight hair and that's what i wanted and i stuck with it. Despite the chemical burns, the twelve hours at a salon (which I often had appointments from) I still relaxed my hair because I was misinformed.  

      I know some girls/women who think that natural hair is BUTT UGLY. They wouldn't rock a fro if they were givien $1,000. It's sad but natural hair has a bad rap, from being called nappy, ugly, militant or even Afrocentric. Girls aren't the only ones who think it's ugly. Although on the web I see all you guys saying you like it the numbers are few and far between IRL. At least that's what it seems. 

      One thing I wish is that whether a woman/girl is rocking a weave, relaxed hair or her natural hair she 1) takes care of her hair and 2) accepts her hair. But I'm sure this is the same as asking for world peace. 

      • Sade

        That was supposed to be a like :(

        You took the words right out of my mouth, I wish with all my heart that (some) people didn't use hair/clothes/make up as a way to mask their insecurities. Your hair should be an accessory, it shouldn't define you.

      • http://codecipher.blogspot.com MeteorMan

        Thanks Telly. You know what though, in one statement a woman will say "I'm not my hair" and men should accept them as they are. That's great. So how does it look when guys not only accept but love you in your natural ways and it is ignored? I've definitely accepted a woman's hair more than her more than a few times. How can you expect someone to accept you how you are when you don't accept you how you are?

        I've noticed that a lot of the anxiety, like you said, when it comes to maintaining natural hair are the random dudes that speak on it. Yes, I'm a random guy. More important than natural or straight appearance is healthy hair and love for ones own form. There was this lady once that cut her hair a month after we got together. Over the time period of her learning about hair, I in turn, learned some things as well. Not so much about hair care, but how to demonstrate support for their hair ventures.

        Let me put my fellow men on some game: Offer to wash your lady's hair.

        • TellyLongLegs

          Yes yes yes! I think if a guy participates in a woman's transition from relaxed to natural it would make a world of difference. My boyfriend washed my hair, told me he loved it and everything. Even though at times I wasn't too fond of it, that support helped me. He even cut the relaxed ends off when I did the big chop. 

    • http://earsandlps.wordpress.com LaLaBakir

      Trimming helps your hair grow healthy. The longer your hair, the more "dead" ends you have and its more prone to breakage.

      The purpose of a perm is managability. Now, that's not to say it doesn't come with it's on set of maintenance "rules". It's a preference IMO. And I've had natural and relaxed hair.

  • http://www.max-logic.com max

    I'm with Streetzie on this one. Ladies, men are visual creatures. If he found your hair one way and he likes it that way, can't you just leave it be? And if you must change it, please don't be surprised by his reaction. It is what it is – men are visual creatures. Why give him a reason to look elsewhere?

    Plus I never understood this phenomenon of acting out your feelings through you hair. I think it's childish and reactionary. If I go through a major dramatic life event I'll write a novel or turn over a new leaf or something. But my darken in the winter/lighten in the summer hair schedule will not change.

    • Therelucantsocialte

      <blockquote cite="comment-312066">

      max: Why give him a reason to look elsewhere?

      Some men don't NEED a reason to look elsewhere…lol.

      Seriously, I can understand wanting to please your man. You may wear your hair in a certain style that you know he likes one day or wear a dress that you know he likes…etc. But I don't agree with completely shaping your entire look based off of what your man likes. I think that's wack…

  • Teflon Temptress

    Easy – change your look after you're married. Then he can be salty, but he can't leave.

    • cynicaloptimist81

      LOL…now that's just mean.

    • Hugh Jazz

      Welcome back Anna. SMH. Welcome back.

    • QueenT

      Look at the babies…*waving* Hey, Teflon!

  • Teflon Temptress

    <blockquote cite="comment-312052">

    Dr. J: You don’t want to have that conversation. Put it like this, you know how you got the right to vote, because men gave you the right to vote. The gross majority of you vote for who your spouse votes for. Which in turn means that although you have the right to vote, we could just as the same go back to only letting the head of the household vote and have the same results. But go ahead, I don’t want to mess with your opinion of the voting system.

    You have been running rampant without me on this site.

    • Starita34

      Look who's back!!!

      How are those babies!?! :-)

      • Teflon Temptress

        They're great – 5 months old, and kicking my butt! Can't tell y'all how much I love being a mommy. Mother's Day this year was off the chain.

    • http://singleblackmale.org Dr. J (here but not

      I miss you too Teflon. I really do. I was just thinking about you the other day. There's a whole new crop around these parts. They might need you back.

  • http://www.irantb4ireason.blogspot.com willfollow4cash

    @DrJ=>I tried not to reply to your reply. You're right, I didn't want to have that conversation until you posted:

    "The gross majority of you vote for who your spouse votes for. Which in turn means that although you have the right to vote, we could just as the same go back to only letting the head of the household vote and have the same results."

    Now I'm new here and foreign so I'll respect the e-notoriety. I generally like your posts asndyour refusal to candy coat your opinions and "facts". Bravo. now that I'm done massaging you E-dick, I need to get serious.

    That comment…was….emotion evoking. I initially typed quite an emo response, but I'm 2 clever to body myself out in a comment section.

    I'm goin to e-smile, e-nod and e-chuckle. OK boo-boo. It's a man's world.

    *sniggers*

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      Did you just call Dr Jay a Snigger?!

      • http://earsandlps.wordpress.com LaLaBakir

        I think she meant "snickers"

        • NaijaSweetz

          lol @ Streetz.

          <blockquote cite="comment-312096">

          LaLaBakir:
          I think she meant “snickers”

          Nah, she meant to type exactly what she did. The two are synonymous, but "snigger" is a legitimate word:

          Noun 1. snigger – a disrespectful laugh
          snicker, snort

      • cynicaloptimist81

        I think she meant what she wrote, lol…minus the first 's'.

  • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

    I find it hilarious that people who "read" this post, glossed over the comment I made in the second paragraph:

    "Now let me say beforehand that this is not a “good hair v. bad hair” or “long hair vs short hair” or “natural vs permed” argument. This is all about decisions and perception. "

    Absolutely funny…

    • Starita34

      Oops…looks like you'd already restated this fact. My bad. Oh well, maybe the THIRD time it'll get read…

      • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

        LOL I did it on purpose. Still won't matter tho

        • Therelucantsocialte

          <blockquote cite="comment-312106">

          Streetz: LOL I did it on purpose. Still won’t matter tho

          I don't think its your post that brought that up. Some of the other guys comments referred to that argument…

    • Sade

      I thin it's because most people fundamentally agree with you as far as crazy hair styles go, so everyone took a tangent.

      *Sidenote* I blame Nicki Minaj for half the crazy hair styles/colors people walk around w/

  • SMilez__920

    . I agree with this whole topic..I love my hair I get my hair done all the time and if it doesn’t look right I don’t feel right. Ladies be real..Some styles just aren’t for you so stop trying. Amber Rose has the melon headed girls cutting all their hair off thinking it’s cute….or like when riri had the bob…sweet heart everything isn’t for everybody chooses a style that enhances your looks. Now for people going from different looks i.e. perm to natural.. There is always a "rough" stage before you get the hang of it and make it look good. And ladies if you are going to get a weave don’t do it yourself and don’t get cheap hair because it looks bad. Don’t get cheap hair if you are going to wear the weave for more than one night.

    I’m glad my friends and cousin keep it real with me when I’m thinking about trying a new look. I have a nice size head but I know a short cut wouldn’t look good so I always keep it shoulder length or longer

  • http://twitter.com/lhautevie Little Miss Sunshine

    I'm definitely cutting all my hair off Saturday… I'm refusing to take this as a sign. Sometimes you just want to do something different and if doesn't work- that's what wigs are for!

    I do however not co-sign on girlfriends telling you what you want to hear. Tell me the truth because when one of us looks a mess WE ALL look a mess.

  • SMilez__920

    And for everyone saying "it will grow back"… your man , your family, your friends and hair dresser dont want to hear you crying and bi*ching during the growing back stage. Alot of ppl cant handle going through that process.. But for those who can more power too you

  • Therelucantsocialte

    <blockquote cite="comment-312031">

    jdot: As encouraging as 99 people are about their hair style, these women will let 1 person tell them it’s ugly and have a crisis. That’s lame. Make a choice and stick with it. And guess what? If she doesn’t want to stick with it, she has the freedom to do something else. Almost nothing is *really* permanent. I won’t say it’s only hair because that would imply there isn’t more to it (notions of beauty, femininity, and for some Black women authenticity) but it grows back.

    Thank you!

    Its just really not that serious…lol.

  • http://therxbeauty.blogspot.com/ RxBeauty

    I admit to cutting all my hair off when my husband left. He liked my hair long or in a weave, so I just pulled out the clippers to kill off that negative energy. At first I was nervous, but then I realized that it was just hair and it will grow back. Now its 8 months later and I am in love with my curly fro. I will never cut my hair for emotional reasons again, but if it ever gets unhealthy then I will rock a fade in a minute. The same men in my life that hated my hair at first love it now. And most importantly, I gained my identity back by being unafraid of change. I can’t live my life trying to please others; I have to just do what makes me happy.

  • JoyfulA

    In Defense of the Friends: An Open Letter to the the Hair Victim

    Monique,

    Look — you had a bad year … yeah, I know — I remember. You're the reason that I upgraded to an unlimited phone plan. But you sucked it up, decided to make changes and the next thing we knew — you were unsuccessfully rocking a Toni Braxton "Seven Whole Days (Live)" page-boy haircut. Now, in the spirit of trying to support your new outlook on life, I smiled .. told you it looked great .. and worked hard to keep my eyes from drifting back to that cut. If the Lord was with me, I might've even been able to prevent my face from twitching with horror whenever you caught me staring.

    Now — did I call Tracie to talk about your hair? Yes, I did. But that was a strategy session — SOMEHOW, we had to figure out how to fix that style and not allow the knowledge that the style really didn't do you justice to interfere with your overall progress. One flaw, one tear = major setback.

    And because we're your REAL friends — we set up a girl's only weekend: a spa day that ended with dinner and a night out on the town. You felt good, and we even sprung for a group hair appointment with a renowned stylist, who corrected your haircut … all without having to acknowledge how awful that original style was.

    And now — all is well.

    Love,

    A True Friend

    • Starita34

      LMAO!

      Wellll played! Well played indeed!

      • JoyfulA

        LOL! Thanks Star … Friendships take WORK!

  • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetz

    <blockquote cite="comment-312131">

    Therelucantsocialte:

    And I’m sorry. I don’t think changing your hair and gaining weight are the same thing. Its just hair. IT GROWS BACK!!! lol…

    This is also false.

    How many women have you heard complain that hair didn't grow back as fast as they thought or for some women not at all? How many people do you hear complain about having to lose that last 10 pounds?

    If you gain weight, you can lose it, but have to adhere to certain standards (nutrition,. working out etc) If you cut your hair, you can grow it back, but you really have to sit and wait. You can augment your look with wigs and weaves and braids, but the fact remains that the correlations are very similar.

    Relucant, I think this hit close to home, so I know you won't agree to any points, lol.. all good. Healthy discussion!

  • Chrissy

    One of the only reaosns men prefer long hair is because long hair is the European standard of beauty. So mostly everyone follows that. That is also why lighter skin is favored. Anyway if anyone has ever studied the standard of beauty in African tribes you can cleary see those women are not walking around with straight hair. They do style their hair of course and even dye it. The usually have their hair cut or in braids, or in twist. Things that are easier for black hair to do.

    Anyway, if you are with a man that only likes long hair and he is that important to you, I suppose you should keep your hair long. And you should wait to change it when you break up, if you really want to.

  • unfettered

    I've been told by most men and women that I look better with short hair, but I think that's rare

  • NaijaSweetz

    First off, I wanna say Eff y'all to all those bragging about their hair growing 40" overnight without the help of Equus ferus caballus. Yeah, I'm bitter..bite me!

    Phew, that felt good. Anywho. Sometime in '09, I needed an emergency hair apointment, but had limited options. I walked by a hair store and saw a cute short & styled wig that I copped & fell in love with. It was a hit. A couple of months into rocking the look, I started to hate feeling my braided hair underneath the wig. I found myself empathizing with guys who whine complain about weave tracks. I felt like I wanted to hack off 90% of my hair so that I'd feel something nice & fluffy instead. I intensely scrutinized my face when my hair was braided down to determine whether or not I could live with it. My hair was never all that long to begin with, but it hadn't been that short in well over a decade. In the end, I figured what the hell..I had the wig after all, right? During a brief stay at home, I went up to my mom with scissors in hand, and said goodbye to my lil friends. Well, part of them, anyway. When she was done, I hmm'd..then I smiled. It was different; I liked it. The more I looked in the mirror, the more I got the crazy idea that rocking it out might just not be that bad. I felt iffy at first because my edges were largely nonexistent, but eh. That was somewhat drastic hairstyle change #2. Dude in my life at the time does not care for any kind of hair that is not naturally attached to my scalp, so he was actually rather pleased (Eff him too, with his LOOOOOONG ass yummy 'fro). I felt partially self-conscious at first, but still good enough to rock it with the utmost confidence. It didn't appeal to everyone, but quite a few guys approached me, if only to drop a compliment and keep it moving.

    I know this is not a long vs short hair debate (although it really is no secret that guys in general do, in fact, prefer long hair), but two things:

    1) The cut wasn't an emotion-driven decision, but it was partially whimsical. Sure, I had guesstimated my reaction, but there was no real way of knowing what the end result would look like. I don't think it's fair to say "But it ended up looking good, though, right?!" because it could just as easily have turned out horribly. A lot of women who make those drastic changes don't expect them to look as bad as they actually turn out, and a lot of friends just don't know how to tell them how bad they look without hurting their feelings. This is particularly true if the friend is already going through a vulnerable phase.

    2) Curly, partially long hair flatters me the most. I know this. But it was great being able to enjoy my natural hair for once. My hair is thin, light & fluffy, so it makes for a good mini fro puff. #ruffandtuffwithmahafropuff. I had a good number of women tell me that they envied me because their crazy kinks would not allow for as enjoyable an experience as mine. What interested me, however, was the fact that I eventually had some girlfriends & aunts make comments and ask when I was going to "do something" with my hair. They basically implied that I didn't have a great chance of finding a man looking the way I did at the time. Meanwhile, few guys who were already interested in me showed any signs of pause, and I was still getting checked out here & there. It actually raised some concerns about issues to do with the internalization of certain standards of beauty that cause women to look negatively upon their peers who decide to go "au naturel". My move had nothing to do with black power or being different…but the guys innocently made the former mis-attribution, and the gals held some misconceived notions of their own, particularly with regards to the XY's reactions.

    In conclusion….eff all y'all! I keed. On a serious note, though, people sometimes need to do something "crazy" for a much-needed feeling of liberation…and sometimes, it's damn specific. Jumping on a plane to go half-way across the world will not provide the same satisfaction as getting rid of 12" of one's mane if it's the latter that proves tempting for any of a myriad of reasons.

  • Kevin

    People are entirely too caught up on hair length, It's really irrelevant to me, I hate weave. I love natural hair no matter the texture, if a chick cuts her hair it's her business, not yours.

    • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetz

      I never said it was MY business, but it is my business to be a good friend and let people know what will be said about them and the perception. Maybe if you stop skimmin, speaking out of emotion, and actually read the sh*t I post instead of being a capt. save a ho, you'd see that.

      N*ggas really think shyt is cute, lol.

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