LEAVE YOUR HAIR ALONE!!!
You’ll usually hear me screaming this at any of my women friends when they talk of drastic changes to their hairstyle. As a friend, I feel it is my right and my duty to let people I care about know when they are about to take a major L in any facet of life. Hair is no different. I’m far from a super model, but I care about my grooming enough to hope that someone checks me if I’m slipping or even close to it, so I will do the same as will most men for their lady friends/significant others/sisters/cut buddies.
Women are totally different. I’m convinced that when it comes to hairstyles, women will let their friends walk into the pit of despair barefoot and dumbfounded. They will let them murder and mangle their hair, even if they are weary about the new “do”. Now, I’m not talking out of my rear-end on this topic, I’ve observed this for many years and asked men and women to share their thoughts on my theory that friends will let each other look a hot mess just because they want “something different”. Now let me say beforehand that this is not a “good hair v. bad hair” or “long hair vs short hair” or “natural vs permed” argument. This is all about decisions and perception. Not convinced yet? Well consider this:
Friends will say your new hairstyle looks cute, but will secretly bash you
We all have those friends who will support you no matter what. We also have those friends that will cosign any idea you have because they see that you like it and because they don’t want to “sound like a hater”. They will be the friends to tell you to get the hot pink and lavender highlights when you are a partner in a law firm. When they see the final product, they will shower you with affectionate praise like “gurllll you’re killin it!” and the always popular “That looks sooo CAYUTE (yes the drawn out version of cute)!”. When they go home, however, they will be quick to let their boo know “Oh, Keisha’s new hairdo? A.MESS!! Don’t ever let me come home looking like that!!” Why is it cool for them to look horrid, but not you? I thought women didn’t like rolling in busted cliques. Keep it real with your homegirl and let her know up front that you think it’s a bad look.
Women will doubt the cut, get the cut, then regret the cut
There’s always a risk with a new hairstyle. It may not come out the way you thought, or a certain color may not agree with your complexion, so I will concede that a great amount of bravery is needed for a hairdo change. Women are known for their intuition, but when it comes to hair, it shouldn’t be ignored. How many women do you know that go for this all new hairstyle and then cry because it takes a year to two years for their hair to grow back to its original length again? I’m no haircare expert, but isn’t there a way to test your style before actually getting it? Please school me because if I was a woman and i had long hair and wanted to get a short do, or had short hair and wanted a weave, I’d probably try to wear a wig that would reflect the hairstyle closely, or even try Photoshopping a current pic with new hair. Yeah, it seems extra, but as a man I have much more leeway to experiment with hair because I know that at most I’d have to wait 4 weeks to get back to my original hair length and style. I don’t like living with regret, and neither should you, especially with hair!
Sometimes, changes in your life doesn’t need to be signified by cutting hair!!
This point is one that I feel the strongest about. I’ve asked many women who extremely made-over their hair, about their motivation behind their decision. A great majority of them stated that they just got out of a relationship and wanted to cut off all their hair. I get it. You want to feel liberated. I know people who had Locks and cut them because they said all the emotions and negative energy was residing in their hair & needed to be expelled. Zeen. However, a lot of women will murder their hair and get an unattractive, unflattering cut or style in place of their “same old do”. Listen, don’t let your ex win the war by making yourself look worse in the aftermath of a breakup. If it aint broke, don’t fix it!! You can hit the gym, read a new book, pickup a new hobby, travel, or anything else as a breath of fresh air from your last situation. Leave your hair out of it! A change of pace isn’t effective if it throws your pacing off.
In closing, if you choose to break monotony and get a new hairstyle, accept the same amount of blame for it being a mess as you would if it comes out well. The same way you know that dress is 2 sizes too tight for you to wear, or that Canal St. Gucci bag is falling apart at the seams, know that your hairstyle is a loss, accept it and move on. Friends, don’t let your homegirls do something to their hair that we will all regret, most importantly, that SHE will regret! If it won’t look good on you, or you know that she will get side eye’s and ridicule, save her the embarrassment and suggest alternatives. Women, when we as men tell you leave your hair alone, believe us!! That is off the books code for “You’re fine, and if you cut your hair or get those silly colors or styles, you will dilute your value” Also, when we tell you that cut or new style may be a good look, we think it will be a good calculated risk. We know you may want that hairstyle to appeal to the opposite sex (or whomever you desire), so the people of that sex’s viewpoint should be taken into consideration. Whatever you do, be confident, be smart, and perform the necessary due diligence so you don’t body yourself and you’re left with 8-12 months of follicle triage.
Performing hair interventions since 1998, I remain: