Home Dating & Relationships Dating For Those Who Think Young [Guest Post by @8plus9]

For Those Who Think Young [Guest Post by @8plus9]

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My boy hit me up last week, excited that he spent the day chilling with two 20 year old girls who blew his mind. “Yo, they were mad fun, and it was just so easy to talk to them, they weren’t on some fake LA ish”. I asked if he got her number, he replied, “Man, I got both of their numbers… I think I could smash both of them”. I laughed, here’s a dude that’s struck out in the mecca of easy to lay actress/models/singers and he thinks he’s found his pimp because he drove a few college chicks around the city. He was kind of upset that I called him out, but a 28 year old dude should not just be discovering baby b**ches.

YOUNGER IS NOT DUMBER: I’ve had relations with a lot of younger chicks; it had nothing to do with taking an advantage of a younger mind. I was messing around with a 25 year old chick at the same time I was seeing a 19 year old and the 19 year old was far more capable of holding a conversation or arguing a point than this older chick that was raising a child. And that’s not an exception to the rule, girls in their late teens early twenties who are immersed in college life, tend to be thinkers.

COMIC BOOK BODY: When I was growing up you knew who was grown by how she was filled out, but in the past ten years it’s been hard to tell how old a girl is because they’re developing D cups and Minaj booties before their old enough to drink. I’m sure there is a judge out there who has tossed more than a few statutory rape cases out because these girls “don’t look 19 b” *Ma$e voice. And when it comes to the face, I’d rather have a chick going through a slight acne breakout than these ratchets hiding in the shadows of the club with caked on makeup and get mad when the bartender doesn’t card them.

TROPHY: One of my ex-girlfriends saw me driving with my Blasian Baby B**tch and actually followed me to my mother’s house to spy. Please believe I got a call the next day. She really tried to play me like I was picking up girls in front of high schools, and said that all I wanted to do is smash. Of course! I’m a man; my goal is to have sex with the best looking girl I can find.  “That’s not a woman, that’s a little girl, what more can you get from her?” She didn’t want to protect this 18 year old girl from being dogged out, she was jealous. I should have said, “Well she got accepted to the university of Maryland, is built like Rogue, and has long hair, where as you dropped out of school to work at the mall, have five years tops before your breast begin to sag, and spend all of your disposable income on hair weave”…but I was afraid of her so I just hung up.

WHY SO SERIOUS:  My homie who is now open off these 90’s babies sent me a text to rub it in, “sour apple bitter b**tches I’m not F’ing with them”. Since he moved to LA he’s been dating girls who have been broken by love or broken by their failed careers and now he gets to talk on the phone with girls who aren’t worried about mortgage or marriage and he’s doing the dance of joy. Girls just want to have fun until they hit 26 and don’t have a ring on their finger, but Men just want to have fun until they put us in the grave.

A dead woman once said “Age ain’t nothing but a number”, and if a girl looks good a guy will holla regardless if she’s 32 or 22. But I endorse going younger whenever possible. I met my fiancé when she was 19 and to this day she still asks “how old did you think I really was” and I say, “It didn’t matter if you were 17 I was going to get you”.

Comment(135)

    1. I was thinking this upon first read……….then realized. I do understand completely I just really don't have a comment to share LOL

  1. Young girls may not care that your post is mad late. I, on the other hand, was looking for my good morning coffee and distraction at about 7:30am playa. Could it be my computer? Maybe, but I'm comfortable blaming you at this point, lol.

    Young girls are more fun because life isn't that serious for them. At least it wasn't for me. Do you know how many folks have died since I turned 25 – that I knew? Lots. Mortgage has to be paid, student loans can't be deferred no more, kids need to be fed, moms is asking YOU for money and going on vacay while you're working overtime….the list goes on. So if you want some breezy fun, a young woman is the best place to look. She just wants to have fun, too. I just got to an age where I no longer had the time to be foolish or entertain foolishness. It made me more honest, and you couldn't pay me to go back and be 21 again. The burdens are heavier at 32, but the rewards are sweeter. Recess and nap time were fun, but they don't compare to varsity sports and a driver's license.

    1. I'm going to have to disagree with this. Yes you have more responsibility noye but that didn't mean you have to lose your sense of fun. The best part about being an adult if being able to afford what you enjoy. Since I've been out of college I've had way more fun with the additional responsibility.

      1. All of THiS!!

        I enjoy life so much more now than when I was 19. I would never wish to be that child again. Though, I guess a there are a lot of men my age who are now the old men in the club lookin for that baby. He can have her… lol.

      2. Nah, you still agree with me. Getting older hasn't made us "lose our sense of fun". If anything, you appreciate your fun time more. But it's a different kind of fun. A little less spontaneous, but certainly better funded. Quality vs. quantity.

        But I've noticed that it comes full circle. You can't tell my my mother, her boyfriend and their friends nothin. It's like Hot Tub Time Machine with those fools.

    2. <blockquote cite="comment-312174">

      Teflon Temptress:

      Young girls may not care that your post is mad late.I, on the other hand, was looking for my good morning coffee and distraction at about 7:30am playa.Could it be my computer? Maybe, but I’m comfortable blaming you at this point, lol.

      *chortle*

  2. Well Hi my name is Berriblk and I've been blowing older ninja's minds since the new millennium lol. It happens to all dudes at some point…single, married, or otherwise.

  3. Wow slow day here.

    My last girlfriend was 18 when we met, I was nearing 26 at the time. One thing I loved about that relationship was the fact thay she still knew how to enjoy herself. A lot of times women get older and just dont know how to have a good time. You know the ones, they go out and look like they are constipated all night for no damn reason other than "I'm to old to do such and such". No you atw boring!

    This seems to be a non-factorwith men enough of the time but women…not going to happen. Women like to feel like a man can provide for them so if he can't even buy her a drink she isn't checking for him. Ladies some of those good men you are not seeing are younger than you.

    The funny thing is I met my youngster when I wasn't looking for a relationship (i was upfront about it). That lasted good 18 months and she was the only person I was seeing for 95% of that time.

    1. "Ladies some of those good men you are not seeing are younger than you."

      The young ones are cute and although they may drink beer they do not have the bellies to show for it yet. lol!

      HOWEVER… More trouble than its worth. Give me a 30+ guy that is through sowing his wild oats.

      1. <blockquote cite="comment-312182">

        Kema: The young ones are cute and although they may drink beer they do not have the bellies to show for it yet. lol!

        HOWEVER… More trouble than its worth. Give me a 30+ guy that is through sowing his wild oats

        Yes ma’am. Give me an older man…ages 30-35 seems to suit me well. Older men have offered me a high level of clarity, assurance and stability that no younger man has been able to offer me. I’m 24 and the younger men I’ve dealt with wanted relations, while the older men I’ve dealt with wanted a relationship. I was in a relationship with a 30 year old when I was 22… I haven’t looked back since.

    2. What?! My friends and I (all late-20somethings) have such a great time when we go out and we hold down professional jobs. We even have a few youngins (guys) that we hang with and we all have so much fun together, however, we are not interested in them or younger men at all…you have to draw the line some where. (heehee) 🙂

        1. I've just never met a younger guy that can satisfy me beyond the bedroom. I have my own place, my own money etc etc a guy must top that.

  4. I don't really know how I am feeling about this post….I just want to know how old YOU are, number one….and then, I can probably form a better opinion…but, the fact that your fiance' is 19…to me, it just seems like that is way to young to be getting engaged….and the fact that you said you would have still pursued her if she was 17..makes me curious to know how old were YOU at the time..the fact that you are fixating on high-school girls kinda creeps me out……

    1. The fiance was 19 when he met her. Figured I'd put that out there just in case it makes him look like less of a Chester to you, lol.

      If not, carry on, lol.

  5. LMAO @ a couple quotes I need to get out of my system first:

    DEAD @ that Ma$e reference even though the correct quote is "She was not nineteeeeeen." I know because my boys and I quoted that skit bout 1 billion times throughout college.

    "but I was afraid of her so I just hung up."

    "Girls just want to have fun until they hit 26 and don’t have a ring on their finger, but Men just want to have fun until they put us in the grave."

    Moving on…

    ———–

    Good post and accurate den’ a mug. I've debated covering this topic on more than one occasion. Obviously, since I'm a man, a woman is a woman, I could really care less about age. Honestly my dating range is like 19 – 40. Although, when I'm looking for something serious it shrinks to about 23 – 35. Anyway, like you said I don’t think younger women are "easier" by any means. I've met plenty of "easy" older mature, well seasoned women in my day.

    I will say they are easier to get along with because like you and a few commenters said, they don't demand much. Like, at all. So it makes life easier all around. I'm not taking "shots" at women who know what they want, as well they should by a certain age, I'm just stating facts. Younger women are easier to get along with whether you like it or not. Unless you live on a secluded compound, life jades people, there's no way around it.

    Plus, as I've said a 1000 times, when it comes to age men (mostly) date down and women (mostly) date up. Been that way since the dawn of time and I'm pretty sure it is not changing anytime soon.

    1. As a man that must have "Cougar Bait" written on his forehead, I agree. I can assure those reading right now older women (and by this I mean older than me) are much "easier" and upfront with their intentions of just having chex.

      1. True. Plus, does it not seem weird that women judge men for dating younger women but in the same thought process will agree they oppose dating younger men? #FemaleLogic

        I'm 28 now so I'm in a pretty good range to go up or down BUT when I was 21ish and looking for an older woman? WIM gots as they say, "no love." Well I got some love but those were flukes and women just tryna get they groove back but they werent checking for me on the serious tip.

        1. <blockquote cite="comment-312187">

          WisdomIsMisery: True. Plus, does it not seem weird that women judge men for dating younger women but in the same thought process will agree they oppose dating younger men? #FemaleLogic

          This makes perfect sense to me. Admittedly, I am a female. I don't understand though, would it make more sense for women to judge men who date younger AND date younger themselves?

        2. <blockquote cite="comment-312188">

          SaneN85: This makes perfect sense to me. Admittedly, I am a female. I don’t understand though, would it make more sense for women to judge men who date younger AND date younger themselves?

          That would make more sense, to me anyway. Here's my thing. If women admit they don’t date younger men, then it is reasonable to assume that all that is left for men to date is younger women – because women their age and older generally won’t or more accurately, prefer not to date them. Naturally, there's a median where everyone is pretty open, around 25 – 30 or so.

          Perhaps the debate is more what age range of "younger" is acceptable for men and women to date. Even though I feel that is a highly subjective debate.

        3. I think it's less about younger and more about how much younger, and how old the younger person is e.g. 25-35 isn't bad, 15-25 is illegal

  6. Correction:

    <blockquote cite="comment-312179">

    WisdomIsMisery: I will say they are easier to get along with because like you and a few commenters said, they don’t demand much. Like, at all. So it makes life easier all around. I’m not taking “shots” at women who know what they want, as well they should by a certain age, I’m just stating facts.

    "I'm just stating my opinion."

  7. Interesting. I grew so much between 20 – 28 that I could not imagine bridging that 8 year old gap with a serious relationship. There's something about the first few years of leaving the college bubble and bumping into the ugliness of life as an adult that (should) cause a person to mature exponentially. I still interact with folks that are of college age and the difference is pretty stark.

  8. Younger women are for fun and showing new things to.

    Women my age are for headaches and badgering about marriage and family.

    Older women are for less nagging, good food and up front sex.

    I think that's it…

  9. So what is the message that the author is trying to convey? That younger girls are easier? Older women should act like younger woman? Young woman are only good for "fun times" and not serious relationships? I'm so tired of old men trying to talk to me because I'm young (I just turned 22) and they think they can get over on me. Then with the men my age they only want sex and but I'm Not looking for
    Just sex. Just because I'm
    Young that doesn't mean that I'm loose. Yes I party and drink and I can let my collar down but I'm also seriously pursuing my education and putting in work for my future career. And what'd wrong with having a serious relationship when you are young. Just because you do not want to be married you have to be dating 5-11 people just because you're young? After a whole dating just for the sake of dating gets old. I don't know I just didn't agree with this article at all and I'm probably one of the youngest females on this blog.

  10. I tell all my homies, younger is fine, but if she/he can't stop at the liqour store without you, that is too dang young!!!

    Having just turned 30, I have to admit that I love me a little 21 year old – but only as a plaything – because they are still in that experimenting, fun, freaky phase. But when it's all said and done, I could never seriously be with someone who grew up in that post 80 baby generation. If you were in high school on Facebook – um NO! LMAO

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-312204">

      InsomniaPoet: But when it’s all said and done, I could never seriously be with someone who grew up in that post 80 baby generation. If you were in high school on Facebook – um NO! LMAO

      Yeah, the interview process is def more intense for a youngin. Asking questions like, "Where's Fraggle Rock?", "Why do you wanna watch 'The Dark Crystal'?", and "What's 'The Box'?" will get you nowhere fast with me, lol. And, if you've never seen Eddie Murphy's early movies (Golden Child, Trading Places, Harlem Nights, Coming to America, etc.) or Moonwalker? You can just forget it! I can't take you seriously AT ALL!!! We can't even be friends, lol.

  11. Age is more than a number because with age comes wisdom and experience. I know some people have to grow up faster than others but when it comes to relationships – the age you date is where you head is. Its always been said that women mature faster than men so if you want to go younger do you.

    I read this post twice and I may have misread (between the lines) but younger for fun is bullsh*t it sound like younger for control. IJS

      1. Nope. With age comes experience; wisdom is optional.

        Say that again for all them old fools out there. Just because you have a higher number behind "Age: " on an application doesn't make you any wiser. I've been called an old soul more than a few times in my life and I stay amazed at people much older than me that are no wiser than some of these lost teenagers. Experiencing life is one thing but having learned from those experiences is another.

    1. "the age you date is where you head is" Really???

      So your saying if a older woman who got her ish together in her 40's dates a guy in his late twenties to maybe 30 that's because that's where she's at mentally?

      I don't buy that.

      Just like how men say they go for younger women because they are fun, the same reason goes as to why older woman date younger men.

      1. Naw, older woman date younger men for strong idck with quick bounceback and the knees and back that can properly propel said idck 😉

        1. Let the chuch say…Amen!

          "I'm tire of Rufus and Cleofus slip slidin' around in their dress socks. Give me a Raheem with tims on!"

          And yes, that Lil' Romeo should change his name to Lil' Cougar Snack 2011. If loving him is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

        2. And yes, that Lil’ Romeo should change his name to Lil’ Cougar Snack 2011

          *KeeledOver*

      2. @Star

        LMAOooooo

        I hear what your saying but don't sleep on them older dudes some of em been eating their wheaties and drinking their manesh water while popping their viagra and cialis — hahaaaa…….. Okay let me stop. What I am trying to say is yes young dudes — yeah they got that quick comeback but some older dudes do too. 😉

  12. It's not even a matter of age. You just have women that can enjoy life, and women that can't. Really, that's probably true of both genders, but I don't date dudes, so I don't know for sure.

    I DO know that during my mid to late 20s, I was involved with a few women close to, and over 40, and they're beyond worrying about mortgages, biological clocks, and finding "The One". They've got their lives together, they look great and are about enjoying life. Conversations don't go sideways 3 minutes in. They'll be up for traveling, going to someplace other than the club, and just exploring. They have confidence and don't care what you, me, or anyone else thinks. And the sex? DAMN! You better eat your Wheaties.

  13. Ok so I guess I'll bite. Are younger women really more fun? After reading your post my mind was fixed on your "club comment" Something along the lines of older women in the club complaining. Does this happen often? I ask because I am 21+6 and I am the life of the party! lol And guess what?! I can buy my own drinks even pop a bottle if I wanted to! I remember when I was younger we used to "pre-game" before going out to the club because we were too broke to buy drinks at the bar. If you’re from DC you know what I’m talking about. Everyone wanted to stop at the "drive thru liquor store" on 202 on the way to Love or Plaladium. lol I say all that to say this; you can party with a young girl and end up spending half your car note on her in one night at the club or you can hang with a real woman who can fend for herself and still have a great time. It’s the best of both worlds!

    1. Again… I love the woman with finances, but their is some sh*t that you gotta put up with, with that type of woman… (Alot Of The Time…)

      Depending on where I am at in life… Is where I choose to deal with that type of woman

  14. Preferences are like buttcracks… everybody has one so no need to throw salt if men choose to date younger women. Me personally, I always liked older men since back in high school, because they seemed so much more mature, my 1st serious boyfriend was 4 years older than me, and my husband was 6 but I've noticed of late I get approached by youngins in their mid to late twenties.. I'm 33 — makes me wonder do I have "The Last Train To Cougarville" written on my forehead or something. LOL but all in all good times so it's all good. *shrug*

  15. First, let me say that my warped sense of humor keeps me from taking some of the stuff y'all say in these posts so seriously. I'm pretty sure none of you blogging law abiding citizens condone statutory rape, lol.

    Being a woman, I'm gonna have to take you're word for most of this, lol.

    What I will say is that I used to have a rule that my man HAD to be older than me. I temporarily put that rule into retirement. Since then, I've had two serious relationships with younger men.

    Reason #1: I liked yo and he just happed to be 2 years/1 year younger than me.

    Reason #2: These young boys are way more cut up than older guys, lol. (Have you ladies seen the little boy formerly known at Lil'Romeo?!…Comic Book Body!)

    Reason #3: They are admittedly a bit more…fun and light-hearted. (Why So Serious)

    The downside in the first relationship is that our experiences had us in two drastically different mental spaces. He really was too inexperienced in life for me. By the time we got together, I'd been married, got a great career, had two kids, owned homes, divorced…what could he tell me? How could he lead me? Had to let that go. The downside to the second relationship is that he hasn't found his footing in life yet. Great guy. Great mind (Younger is not Dumber). More mature than my ex-hubby who was two years older than me. But, he's really unstable right now.

    Today, I'm in no rush to get married again (been there, done that). The only man that would make me even consider marriage is someone who can offer me what I have to give. And, at this point, I don't really see a younger guy doing that.

    For that reason, I've considered reimplementing my rule. But, I'm thinking you can't base character and experience off of age alone. I guess I'll continue to play it by ear…

    1. Interesting take on the first guy. You say that he was too inexperienced and wouldn't be able to lead you. Sometimes inexperience isn't a bad thing like you are making it seem. From my viewpoint it sounds like you have a preferred way of being led that maybe he would not have done.

      1. (Sorry if you read SBM but…)

        Here's a story.

        Picture it, Baltimore…during the blizzard of 2009. Bmore got over a 1ft of snow…then another ft of snow. We decide to take a drive in MY CAR (that's important…remember that) to cure our cabin fever. But the residential roads are still pretty messed up. He turns down this unplowed side street. I immediately get a vision of MY CAR stuck in the middle of it.

        me: This is a bad idea.

        him: I got this, babe. Trust your man. I know how to drive in snow.

        me: Why not just stay on the main road…the plowed main road? This unplowed road is no longer a short cut.

        him: I got this.

        me: If MY CAR gets stuck in this snow…

        him: It won't…

        An hour later…on the same street…stuck in the snow…with the neighbors (bless their hearts) helping HIM to dig the car out…

        me: (shooting eyes at yo from the snow mound on the curb)

        him: (dumb look and no apology)

        If I can't trust you to make smart decisions about which road to drive on after a snow storm in a car that does NOT belong to you, do you think I'm gonna trust you with something deep?! Hmm?

        I prefer to be led by someone who would choose to drive down a plowed road after a blizzard, lol…especially if they're driving MY CAR!

        1. Thats the typical not asking for directions situation…ANY man could fall for that one.

          I promise I'm not trying to pick on you 🙂 I'm a bit of a debater

        2. LOL…

          We're good, Animate. We're good.

          I still question his judgment though. Can't post the deep stuff. That was just a light-hearted example.

  16. <blockquote cite="comment-312216">

    cynicaloptimist81: The downside to the second relationship is that he hasn’t found his footing in life yet. Great guy. Great mind (Younger is not Dumber). More mature than my ex-hubby who was two years older than me. But, he’s really unstable right now.

    I can relate to this.

    1. If I told you I never considered asking if we could just pinky swear not to get serious with anyone over the next 5 years and revisit the idea of 'us' again in 2016 in hopes that he'd have his business in order by then, I'd be lying.

  17. Man, im hearin a lot of excuses in this thread…and excuses are tools of the incompetent…

    "I date younger women because chicks over 26 don't wanna have fun/young chicks don't have to worry about xyz"

    Are you serious? Sounds more like "you dont wanna grow up, you're a toys r us kid" to me! There comes a point in life where going to the ratchet clubs and scheming on chicks, running around in skimpy outfits trying to get dudes to buy you drinks, and trying to see who you can take/will take you home tonight just isn't cute anymore (if it ever was). Just because a grown woman isn't trying to follow you to teen night doesn't mean she doesn't want to have fun. And just because she's worried about grown up things like marriage and bills doesn't make her boring/lame/*insert adjective here*…it makes her what she is (and what some of ya'll should be): a damn grown-up.

    This post was extra-salty, pardon me lol. I hadn't even planned on replying to this but ya'll done got my blood pressure up this afternoon. In closing i'll say, if you have an affinity for young (legal consenting age) chicks, then by all means do you, but don't try and say its because the alternative sucks.

  18. This kinda sucks!

    I understand that young girls are easier to get along with and they don't demand much. It sucks because I wish I could say the same for boys. I wish if I didn't have to constantly date up. I'm under 24 and anyone that I have tried to have any serious relationship with in my age range just failed miserably. And the one relationship I had outside my age range was my best to date (no I grew up with my dad).

    @WIM I have tried to date young men but I'm sorry they gets no love from me. I'm for GROWN & SEXY

    1. Agreed, males in my age bracket can hold a conversation just long enough to ask for some vagina -___- I refuse to match them intellectually because I'd have to dumb myself down so dating up proves to be more stimulating (take that how you want)

      1. I see where u coming from and I agree. But it maybe that they lack the intellectually capacity when it comes to romantic relationships. Because my past relationships have been with college educated men and I go/went (graduates Saturday) to PWI that is very selective.

  19. As a current college student and 21 year old I guess I fit this girls-just-wanna-have-fun mold lol I will say that I've been approached by older (27+) guys and they stick around for most of the reasons given in the article: I have a flexible schedule since I'm not working, I don't really demand much attention (face time, phone time, etc) because I've got plenty of options on campus, and being in a committed relationship seems like more trouble than it's worth to me at the age I am #shrug. Being in D.C. also makes it easy for younger girls to pick up guys though, I just chill at lounges and they automatically assume I'm about something since I'm not at Fur, Ibiza, etc. Hey works for me =)

  20. <blockquote cite="comment-312219">

    Teflon Temptress: And yes, that Lil’ Romeo should change his name to Lil’ Cougar Snack 2011. If loving him is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

    *fans self*

    I felt so dirty looking at his picture though. He was a baby…what happened?!

    What do they put in that Similac nowadays?!

    LOL!

  21. I clicked submit on a comment and it got lost with the database connection. **Sigh**

    Basically, the biggest obstacle with dating younger is that the person naturally will not have had certain life experiences that might be important or convenient for the understanding of your life. For instance, a chick that just graduated from high school or college won't know what it's like to have graduated from college and worked for 5 years. It's impossible.

    Just do what makes you happy. Just now that everything has a downside or consequences.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-312234">

      Slim Jackson: Basically, the biggest obstacle with dating younger is that the person naturally will not have had certain life experiences that might be important or convenient for the understanding of your life. For instance, a chick that just graduated from high school or college won’t know what it’s like to have graduated from college and worked for 5 years. It’s impossible.

      This is exactly what I meant when I said my ex-bf was "too inexperienced in life" for me to remain in the relationship. Exactly what I meant.

      Major co-sign.

  22. So a man says he meets his fiance when she was 19, and y'all start throwin' side eyes like he's R. Kelly in mid-stream. SMH

    So once upon a time about 10 years ago, 19 y/o TWIsM was being seduced by a 33 y/o woman (Given that I was just 19 The World Wasn't Mine yet, so I guess TWIsM didn't apply… I digress). Does the fact she was chexing me occasionally mean she had a 'young mentality'? I don't think so at all. She had her ish together (good job, her own place, etc.) and being that she wasn't in a relationship for a while, she wanted to have some fun. Was it something she just wanted to get out of her system? Hell if I know. Were either of us expecting anything to come of this? Nope. Was she a cool ass chick to hang around? Most definitely. (So you won't hear me say that younger = more fun) All that mattered to was she willing to teach a few things and I was more than willing to learn. Mutually beneficial situation.

    Now 10 years later, I've more options than before. As I stated upthread, the cougars are still growlin', but now so are a lot more college-aged women than what were willing to when I was in college before. I'll say the younger ones are on an equal playing field with the women my age. BUT going into into it, I understand there are a different set of pros/cons than with those my age. I'm not saying one is better than the other, and I won't discriminate, I just logically have different expectations. (Cougars are excluded from the relationship category, because though I'm in no immediate rush, I'm pretty sure I'd like kids one day plus, I don't want to be around the same age as your own kid)

    So to go ahead and wrap this up, I hope those saying they can't get with someone younger is happily involved in a relationship and not running around complaining about all that they can't find/that's not out there. What you're looking for is almost always available, it's just not always accessible if you keep standing in your own way.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-312235">

      TWIsM: Now 10 years later, I’ve more options than before. As I stated upthread, the cougars are still growlin’, but now so are a lot more college-aged women than what were willing to when I was in college before. I’ll say the younger ones are on an equal playing field with the women my age. BUT going into into it, I understand there are a different set of pros/cons than with those my age. I’m not saying one is better than the other, and I won’t discriminate, I just logically have different expectations.

      Nice summary. As far as the part I'm quoting, I think this pretty much covers me. I'll date down, I'll date up. I really dont care but yes, I prefer to date a woman younger than myself. This is a personal preference not a mandate.

      Like you said, there are pros/cons to dating an older or younger woman. In my opinion, there are women who are better suited for me than others but this is rarely exclusively related to the number of years they have been on Earth.

  23. Younger guys, dont have money. I dated this younger guy who was so broke the only thing he offered was good sex, thats not enough for me. When he would take me out it was heartbreaking for me to see him use his money. He had a job but still it was painful for me to see him spend the little money he had.

    1. hmm…

      I don't expect younger males to be swimming in money especially if they're A.) in school or B.) recent graduates. The lack of which, makes for an interesting dating experience. You really get to see how creative a man can be with a few hours and $20-$50 on his hands.

  24. <blockquote cite="comment-312237">

    Animate: Wow he must top that? Entitled much?

    haha. no no nooo. its not entitlement. but i feel in any situation if youre bringing X amount to the table the other person should bring X amount. (at minimum)

    it make sense to me.

  25. I have two comments to make abou this before put my hands up and fess up like its judgement day:

    1. dont mean to come over all biblical like Samuel in Pulp Fiction but hear this

    "For Everything There Is a Season

    For every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heaven:

    A time to be born, and a time to die;

    A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

    A time to kill, and a time to heal;

    A time to break down, and a time to build up;

    A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

    A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

    A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

    A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

    A time to get, and a time to lose;

    A time to keep, and a time to cast away;

    A time to rend, and a time to sew;

    A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

    A time to love, and a time to hate;

    A time of war, and a time of peace"

    2. Sometimes, it just is easier with a younger woman.

    3. Scary thing is the older I get the younger the connect seems to get. I don't think this is about maturity and responsibility. Yeah, we all got bills to pay and life is serious but we cant be on this tip…. ALL THE TIME!!!! Life is a mixture of good times and bad times, why do we have to focus on the serious shyte all the time?

    4. Anyway, I am open to lessons and so happy for the sistas to break out some schooling on this issue.

    5. Downside, the last young thing I tried to wife up was like, hell naw, I want to have my fun. Is 26 too young to settle down?

        1. A few reasons

          1) A womans 23 years is equivalent to a mans 26 years.

          2) Its not good for any man or woman to be out here in this world single for too long. (I could explain further, but it would be a thesis)

          3) I think those are mature enough (mentally and physically) ages to commit yourself to one person.

          I'm about to read the article now…

        2. I don't know, Mika.

          Speaking from experience (married and divorced all by age 29), 23 is still young. The decisions that you make after college while you're beginning your career/branching out on your own will help you determine some very important things about your wants, likes, and dislikes. The types of things that you need to have figured out BEFORE you sign on the dotted line.

          And, like I said upthread, my ex-hubby, who is two years older than me, is less muture than the bf who was a year younger than me. So, I can't get with your #1 point at all. Upbringing and life experience is a more sure determining factor.

          Plus, based on the men I know, the likelihood of a man to commit to one person is NOT based on age but readiness…which can come sooner or later. I know plenty old-head freaks and cheats, lol. Plenty.

      1. That's kinda of young to me because you haven't really experienced life yet so to speak, usually around that age 23 – 25 you are settling into your career (hopefully) which opens up a whole window of opportunity for you.

        1. Thing is, I got married at 23, finished college and had a baby during the entire time. I think it was a great decision….the irony is that even though it did not last and we split after 6 years, I don't regret getting married at 23.

        2. <blockquote cite="comment-312260">

          Mika: Thing is, I got married at 23, finished college and had a baby during the entire time. I think it was a great decision….the irony is that even though it did not last and we split after 6 years, I don’t regret getting married at 23.

          I hear you..

          I got married at 19, started and finished college too (Daddy was adamant about that) and it wasn't a bad decision either because we have done pretty well for ourselves BUUUT, I couldn't see myself doing that again at such a young age if I was to go back in time, I was way too young and inexperienced in life to become a wife. I HAVE NO REGRETS just a few WOULD'VE COULD'VE SHOULD'VE.

          #NoseWasWideOpen

        3. You are not alone. Married at 19, finished college, had two kids (the last one just made the cut, lol)…it lasted just over 7 years. He finished college as well while we were married as well. And we both have great jobs. By the time I was 26, our household income exceeded $100K…we were doing VERY well in that department.

          BUT, now our children are growing up in two households. And, I can no longer blow money in the mall like I used too. 🙁

          We were WAY to young to know what we really needed in a spouse. WAY too young.

          I have plenty regrets, lol.

      2. yeah I don't know about 23, I am turing 23 soon and I am in no position to get married or have a kid, I don't even have a real job or a graduate degree. I think that in order for me to get married I need to have all my shit together and be able to stand on my own and I would expect the same for my spouse. Very few people are in that position at 23.

  26. <blockquote cite="comment-312245">

    Like you said, there are pros/cons to dating an older or younger woman. In my opinion, there are women who are better suited for me than others but this is rarely exclusively related to the number of years they have been on Earth.

    EXACTLY! There are so many other factors to take into consideration other than your year of manufacture.

  27. Once upon a time, not too long ago, I was 16 and a high-school senior. I was visiting my grandma during vacation and made friends with a girl down the street. She was around my age with 26 year old brother. After a few conversations, not only did he claim to be interested, he claimed that he could potentially see me being his future wife. o_O. Dude scared the crap out of me. I told him he was too old for me, that didn't work as a deterrent. So I tried a different approach. I reminded him that I had about 9 years left in school (at the time i wanted to be a doctor) and asked why he would even consider waiting for me. That didn't work either so I started avoidin him and his sister. Then he showed up at my grandmothers house. Luckily for me I was leaving the next day.

    At the time I thought that there must be something wrote with him to be interested I my age and not sOmeone older, I thought he must have a manipulative/controlling personality. Now, I'm not sure if I have an opinion. I could see myself dating someone older than me but no one in their 30s (i'm 20) but anything can happen.

  28. Career @ 23 I doubt it

    When you are 23 you either just finishing college or been working the same job u had when u left high school and now probably thinking about going to college. Meaning you u aint starting a career at 23. I would say people start their career at 28 give and take. Now I'm not saying that there aint people out thats working on their career at 23, but what I'm saying is that they are very few who have a career at 23.

    And 23 is too damn young to settle down. Because I you have not experienced certain things in life that would have shaped u as an individual.

    <blockquote cite="comment-312255">

    GirlSixx is ChloeRayne516:

    That’s kinda of young to me because you haven’t really experienced life yet so to speak, usually around that age 23 – 25 you are settling into your career (hopefully) which opens up a whole window of opportunity for you.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-312265">

      TKO-Curly: Career @ 23 I doubt itWhen you are 23 you either just finishing college or been working the same job u had when u left high school and now probably thinking about going to college. Meaning you u aint starting a career at 23. .

      1st year associates come in at 25.

    1. Well when you are married, yes you get to hang with your girls and do girls nite, maybe even take girly vacations (I did) once a year :o) but it's still not the same you know what I'm saying, (you can look but can't touch) and there's no NOT COMING home after a nite of hanging out and let's be real here I had to have my booty in that bed before the sun came up, so being married does come with some restrictions which is to be expected.

      1. True… but honestly, I long for those restrictions. Theres nothing like hanging with your girls dancing, drinking and acting a fool then coming home to your husband and children. And to keep it real, partying is no fun if you dont end up in some man's bed at the end of the night…and its sooo much better when that man is your husband.

        1. *the clouds part, the heavens open up, a single beam of sunlight illuminates this comment as a flock of angels descend to the earth singing in perfect harmony*

          Go 'head and SAY that!

        2. party, act a fool and then come home to your husband and kids? that just doesn't sound very responsible to me. I think when you have a family you need to give up acting a fool. And I think kids would be mad annoying to come home to, and sometimes you don't want a man all up in your space when you are tired and just wanna sprawl out on the bed………and maybe thats why I have no business getting marred at 23.

    2. I don't think it's so much that you can't experience things while being married at a younger age. You can and you do. But, you miss out on experiencing things as a single person that help you better determine who YOU are. Having a better understanding of who you are, you can then have a better idea of what your husband should look like.

      I hope that made sense…

        1. As a male… I'm with Mika on that one… If I would have picked the right girl EARLY & had a more stable background… I probably be married now…

          Who knows if it would have lasted… But for me, I was in the mindframe…

          For women who love doesn't come easy for… They have to do some extra work…

        2. Just to clarify, when I say 'single' I mean unmarried. BFs are just fine during this time.

          Plus, single life is what you make it. 🙂

          For me, the thought of a few (or many) lonely nights is WAY better than the thought of another divorce anyday. I'd rather be with the RIGHT person than just someone.

          Best time to marry is after you've finished school, gotten comfy in your career, become satisfied with the area you live in, gotten comfy in your own place, and had at least one exotic vacation with your crew. All of those experiences (combined with a solid perspective on your upbringing) give you enough information about you to pick a good husband.

        3. <blockquote cite="comment-312283">

          cynicaloptimist81:

          Just to clarify, when I say ‘single’ I mean unmarried. BFs are just fine during this time.

          Plus, single life is what you make it.

          For me, the thought of a few (or many) lonely nights is WAY better than the thought of another divorce anyday. I’d rather be with the RIGHT person than just someone.

          Best time to marry is after you’ve finished school, gotten comfy in your career, become satisfied with the area you live in, gotten comfy in your own place, and had at least one exotic vacation with your crew. All of those experiences (combined with a solid perspective on your upbringing) give you enough information about you to pick a good husband.

          *stands up and claps* AMEN!

      1. But, you miss out on experiencing things as a single person that help you better determine who YOU are.

        Gospel. Right. Here.

        Absolutely!!! That's where I'm at right about now.

    3. Thanks! yes, single = unmarried. (many people dont get that)

      ok, so ladies were gonna have to agree to disagree with the topic at hand, but its different for everyone which is great. <3

  29. I could date a young girl if she was mature and smart. I just recently finished a grad school class and it was real funny interacting with young people.

    But I do think older men chasing young women is kinda pathetic. I find young girls flirting with me from time to time but for the most part I don't pursue them. I don't need 22 year old drama at my age.

  30. <blockquote cite="comment-312279">

    Starita34: *the clouds part, the heavens open up, a single beam of sunlight illuminates this comment as a flock of angels descend to the earth singing in perfect harmony*Go ‘head and SAY that!

    I had to say it. LOL

  31. A lot of ppl are talking about experience but I think it’s all relative to the type of person you are mentally and spiritually and of course maturity. There are women who settle down early and minus a couple of should woulda coulda's when their husband gets on their nerves are very happy and don’t regret settling while young and vs. versa.

    @ cynicaloptimist81 you said "But, you miss out on experiencing things as a single person that help you better determine who YOU are." it might not be true for you personally but I know a lot of women who have lived the single life well past 25 want to get married and have dealt with many men and still don’t have a clue of who they are or what they want.

    I’m 20 so I like to keep my age range from 20- 26.. Maybe a little older if we vibe well and he doesn’t look it in the face

  32. For the record. I prefer older women (27 – 50)

    But if I deal with a younger chick… I go as far as the legal consent for the my state i am in… (NY is 17, NJ is 16)

    For the people who sideeye men for dating young chicks…

    May I remind you that y'all women agree that women mature FASTER… so what is the problem

    The only time young women like to talk up their age is when they are not feeling a dude… so she has to remind him that she is young…

  33. Leaving the lurking shadows to say:

    LOL at the 22 and under crowd that are going on and on about getting with men 30+. The thing about men who are over 30 that seek 16-22 year old girls is that when they are 40+, they'll likely still be checking for 16-22 year old girls and you will no longer fit the bill.

    Age indeed is nothing but a number. You should be checking for a man's maturity and compatibility with you rather than his age range and what he may be bringing to the table financially. Young doesn't always equal sex-crazed and old doesn't always equal mature.

    IJS (and back to the shadows i go)

    1. uh I don't think that you should disregard what they can bring financially to the table, both people need to be VERY clear on that. Most divorces occur because of financial reasons so you both need to know what each other can bring to the table and discuss whether or not you are okay with that. I don't want to be supporting your lifestyle while you only make enough money to put gas in the car! ….I ain't sayin I'm a gold-digger, but I ain't marring no broke ni99as.

      1. This!

        I was in a LTR with a "man" 4 years my senior. I met him when I was 19. He was already in his mid-20s. We broke up a year ago, and throughout the ENTIRE relationship, I paid for the majority of our outings (even when I was a broke ass college kid!) (Dont get me wrong, I dont mind splitting (happened rarely) or picking up the tab (happened lots), but ALL the time? That sh!t is ridiculous!)

        I had to loan (read: give) his ass money for EVERYTHING! And he'd get pissy if I told him I didnt have it, and lecture me about "how relationships work," and about "how all the other relationships he's been in operated," and about how I was a bad GF, etc because I was "supposed" to "share" with him LOL. Always had complaints about his situation and blame to place on everyone but himself, and not a single iota of gumption/motivation to do anything about it.

        Long story made short, as I approached my mid-20s and began my career, I started cutting him off and he got more pissy that I wasnt giving him money (I was telling him I didnt have it, and this fool had the unmitigated gall to look up my salary). He got mad that I got rid of him and my young-girl rose colored love-goggles (glasses aint thick enough) LOL

        I aint EVEN messin with no broke ninjas. EVER. AGAIN.

  34. Interesting post. If I had a younger sister, I'd likely warn her against guys who had a preference for, and actually sought out PYTs. From what I've observed, their focus is casual relations(hips), and I've never been a proponent of those. As for me, the youngest guy I've ever dated is just shy of three years my senior, and I have been with someone ten years older than I am. The former is an amusing case, because he felt bad/dirty for even being interested in me. I was still 17 when we'd met in my first couple of months in University. For the most part, though, the guys who've shown interest aren't/weren't into me because I am/was young. I've been more of an exception rather than the standard, where their dating habits are concerned. My perceived level of maturity has been one of my main selling points, so when you think about it, they like the fact that I appear older than I actually am. I know we all have our preferences, but there's something about men 26+ consistently going after women..girls, really, 20- that doesn't quite sit well with me. It's one thing to come into contact with people of varying ages and build on chemistry, but going out on some "I'm finna find me a 'baby b*' today; yessir!" tip? Nah.

  35. I think that a woman can be fun at any age… you just have to find the right woman. Also, a woman of a certain age doesn't put up with certain shhh and can see through the bs more easily. There must be some other reason for why an older man would actively seek out a younger woman….do you feel like a younger woman would be more pliable to your needs and/or demands??

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