Damn homie, in high school you were the MAN homie…

LOL

Everyone remembers their time in school. This was the most significant time in our adolescent lives. We spent a majority of our time in elementary, junior high / primary school, and high school. I can remember the tests, the playgrounds, the fights, the teachers, and most importantly, the friends I made. School was a more socially dynamic version of the old Medieval caste system. You had the popular kids, the nerds, the bullies, the jocks, the pretty girls, the hustlers, and everyone else. We all had socially or scholastically awkward moments in our early schooling years. Times where we were king and when we were pawns. Throughout all of this, there was always the most popular “top of the food chain” individuals who you secretly cursed for being more live than you. For attaining a certain status that you craved, or praise that you may not receive or may deserve. You hated on them, but strove to be better than them all at the same time. In high school yearbooks, they were the “most likely to succeed” & “most likely to be famous” people. They were the most athletic, the most aesthetically pleasing, and the most charismatic individuals in the school. These were the dudes who may look down upon you because you weren’t them. Who found it easy to tease and talk as if they would never have any real issues. Everyone wanted to be them, and you knew that their hot streak would continue way after we all graduated. No doubt about it!

I randomly thought about this as I got in my car one random Wednesday afternoon and drove myself to the gym. It was one of those days that I was dead tired, and didn’t want to be bothered by fitness. Since I’m kinda committed to the cause, I had to stop bitchin and proceed. I zone out on the drive, because I know the way by heart and at this point, I drive on autopilot. I thought back to my time in elementary school when I was shorter, plumper, probably smarter (lol), and envious of dudes whom I thought were in a better social light than I ever was. I got taller and thinner in high school, kept the intelligence, but was more concerned with sports and books to really worry about being popular. In fact I knew I LOT of people in high school, was cool in all circles, but never considered myself one of the cool kids. Maybe I was lowkey cool? No clue. I was intelligent enough to realize that those who were popular and considered attractive had their position, and instead of being like everyone else who tried to supplant them, I would heed my uncles words “focus on your school now, everything else will follow. You don’t need the extra distractions! It doesn’t matter now anyway. Trust me!” So I stood and cheered while those other fellows starred, and focused on me. Focused on graduating JR High and High School. Focused on the future, while letting the those who were on the top of the social caste system live.

Anyway, as I was driving, getting closer to my gym, I thought about the cool kids. The popular dudes. The baddest chicks. I thought about how far I came since those early years, and even since college, and how I’ve grown in all areas of life. I swear this reminisce moment was like 5 minutes tops. I could genuinely say that when I ran through it in my head, that I was pleased with my accomplishments, while craving more. I stopped at a red light and waited at the intersection before my gym. I glance over to my left, looking inside of a popular fast food chain, and the vision that struck me was shocking. A dude that I knew from high school was working behind the counter! Now, he wasn’t the manager or owner of the place, he was an actual employee! Uniform on, scowl on his grill, and giving off an aura that every minute he was there absolutely sucked!

This blew me away because he was one of the popular dudes in my school. A dude who all the girls wanted, who all the guys respected. It was a foregone conclusion that he would be famous, rich, successful, and every other favorable adjective you can bestow upon an individual. We didn’t keep in contact after school, but it was clear to see that the mighty had fallen. Now, this is in no means meant to throw shade at anyone who works in these types of locations. Earning a honest living is commendable. However, knowing the kids and their potential, hearing the same “I’m not working 60 hour weeks for you to be flipping burgers in some fast food joint” speeches from their parents, and witnessing their success at an early age, I expected much more out of them, and to see them in that way… Let’s just say the incomparable Christopher Wallace once had a famous saying about temporary success and magical little people who love the color green.

I always wondered what the hell happened? Was their popularity and success in those early years a facade? Were they in no better shape that us “common folk”? Did success come easy to them and when they were out of that small bowl, they couldn’t swim with the bigger fishes in the ocean we call “The Real World”? Did they forget the skills they learned and applied in junior high and high school, tried to switch it up, and failed miserably? I have no clue.

I do know that this is the problem with potential: The allure of the “possible” is more appealing than the road it takes to make it “tangible” The draft lottery for the NBA was yesterday. Think about all the potential that comes out of college, high school, and even overseas. All of these kids have a dream that they will be big stars in the NBA. NBA execs have high hopes that the kids they draft will turn out to be valuable assets for their team. They were big stars on the high school, college, and European platform, so naturally they should translate to the NBA game. Well that’s why they play the games, and that’s why you have draft steals, and draft busts.

Then you have the players who were solid in college, and who worked on their games to ascend into marquee players. I consider myself to be in this category. Had a lot to work on, but got into college and the real world, and with my experiences and observations, applied those lessons to my day-to-day life, and shaped up nicely. No I wasn’t the most poppin dudes in High School or Junior High, but I heeded my uncles words, focused on my self and my studies, and worried about the “other stuff” later on when it mattered. I’ll always bug out when I see a woman who in high school was top of the line, now look regular, broke down, and sorry. I’ll always be a little surprised when I see a dude with LeBron James potential years ago, look like 2011 Greg Oden.

We will go through life wondering why certain people have success and we don’t. Why certain people are seen as the “next big thing” while we are “just ok”. Perception is reality, and while we can’t always control what people perceive, we can control our effort and determination. We can control our belief in self. We can control how we analyze ourselves, learn from our mistakes, and become better. Remember that potential energy needs a catalyst in order to be released as kinetic energy. Otherwise, the energy will remain latent. For those men and women who years ago were seen as potentially great, have fallen short now. Maybe in those early years, we were just great potential, and the true catalyst emerged once we reach the real world. it was enacted for some, and dormant for others. No matter what scientific and logical sense I try to make out of it, I still remain shocked today, that as I continue that same mundane drive to the gym, I will look over into that fast food restaurant, and see a dude that I once envied, that I once thought would be greater than us, that looked down at times upon the less popular, now in a fast food joint, taking shots instead of shot calling.

 

 

P.S - Single Black Male is a finalist in 5 categories in the Black Weblog Awards this year thanks to your nominations! We need your help one more time! Please vote for us in the finals for Best Blog Design, Best Blog Post Series, Best Sex & Relationship Blog, Best Group Blog, and Blog of the Year. Make sure you use a valid email address otherwise it won’t count. Click here to make it happen.


P.P.S. – This entry is an excerpt from my e-book dropping sometime this summer #NoDetox. The process has been interesting and I hope you all enjoy it when it is released.  Check out Dr Jays latest e-book “17th and K street” HERE

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  • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

    in high school i was semi popular because i was good at sports. if it wasn't for that i would have been an outcast. sure i was intelligent but in high school no one cares about that. i was voted most likely to succeed, most likely intelligent and most organized. that was nothing compared to what i wanted (most attracted lol).

    your story is similar to what happened to me a couple times. one instance i went home to get my license renewed and i saw this chick who played me for this guy in high school. dude looked pretty terrible. i couldn't begin to describe how this dude looked that day.

    i understood in high school at it's a temporary situation. life is so much more than those 4 years.

  • http://www.twitter.com/iamjavone Lady Jei

    This is very ironic. As I just celebrated my 20th high school reunion last August. Everyone was surely shocked at how far I had come and physically looked.

    I wasn't the most popular girl in hs, but I was a Varsity cheerleader from 9th-12th grade, sang my butt off in choir, ran track, and a few other accolades. Had a decent slim figure. So I made my mark.

    But there were others who I just KNEW would be CEO/Managing Director by the time our 20th reunion rolled around.

    And at our reunion, people were surprised to know that I graduated from an Ivy league school, had all these curves, no kids, and is very successful in my career.

    After learning the HS prom queen (who was also the captain of the cheerleading team and her man was a Lt in the Army) was about 170lbs extra, 2kids, divorced, and working as a file clerk. (Not that there's anything wrong with that) I must admit I sort of dusted my shoulders off LOL.

    But to see some of my HS classmates not doing as well as I thought based on their HS resume took me back.

    And my HS boyfriend who was sooooo fione was now a big belly dude, I just looked and smh! LOL!!

    In my case as the underdog, that sort of became my motivation. I vowed that at our 20th HS reunion I would be 'the ish' lol! And I continue that mentality. Cause at our 30th in 2020 I pray that I can continue to grow.

    Great post Special!

    Smooches,

    L to the Jei

  • JPtheAlpha

    “I’ll always bug out when I see a woman who in high school was top of the line, now look regular, broke down, and sorry.”

    Story of my life. Both the men and women from high school who were "popular" haven't done a whole lot with their lives. I ran into one guy earlier this year and asked him what he had been doing with his life the past 6 years and he said "nothin really man"…..#GTFOH…..SMH. I am about to get degree #2 today (NYU) and you just been chillin?!?!

    As for women, most of the popular ones had babies by popular upper upperclassmen anyway #KanyeShrug.

    "I swear nothing worse than a bad chick that lost it." – J.Cole

    • http://twitter.com/ModelingNShit Flyy

      congrats on degree numero dos!

      *e-confetti*

    • Kema

      Congratulations!

    • http://stillnatural.wordpress.com N.I.A.naturally

      Congratulations!!

    • GirlSixx is ChloeRay

      As for women, most of the popular ones had babies by popular upper upperclassmen anyway

      Oh Yes. them Chicks!!.. *smh* and what's even sadder is when you go home to visit and you run into them from time to time because alot of them haven't been anywhere or seen anything beyond their 5 – 10 mile radius.

      I remember in HS this one dude had like 3 different chics in different grades pregnant by him — Yeah that ninja was that FIONE!! but he was dumb as a bag of nickles, he barely graduated and that was the bulk of it. No college/No trade school, etc. He eventually married one of my fellow classmates after knocking her up years later I was told…….. #Tragic

    • GirlSixx is ChloeRay

      Congratulations!!

  • ScalabrineWithTheJ!

    *Waits for everybody to say they were the one person who was cool with everybody and didn't fit into a clique* But this phenomenon is true to an extent. Most of the "Mr.-and-Ms. Everything"s that I knew ended up not fully realizing their potential. It's interesting to note, though, that these "superstars" had a lot of expectations placed on them by outside parties, but they may not have necessarily held those same expectations for themselves. What's perceived by the outside world as a failure may not actually be the case. Some people may be content in being average after school. Everybody can't be Jordan.

    • http://twitter.com/ModelingNShit Flyy

      You know I was thinking the same thing… those people probably treasured their 4 year reign. Everyone reaches their peak at different time and this may have been theirs…

      I never heard the 'baddest chick' say she wanted to be a Dr./Lawyer/CEO/5 Star General, she was content w/ her time, being the baddest chick. Hmmm… and right now she seems to be happy w/ all 4 of churrens *shrugs*

    • Starita34

      <blockquote cite="comment-312847">
      ScalabrineWithTheJ!:
      *Waits for everybody to say they were the one person who was cool with everybody and didn’t fit into a clique*

      Ugh, but what if we were!?! *pouts*

    • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

      <blockquote cite="comment-312847">

      ScalabrineWithTheJ!:
      *Waits for everybody to say they were the one person who was cool with everybody and didn’t fit into a clique*

      O….is that not allowed? In that case, I guess I don't have anything to add to today's forum.

      *walks away slowly* *turns head over shoulder* :-( *continues walking until I disappear into the fog of the Internet*

  • http://www.3thw.com Elle

    It's always a little jarring to see people from high school who seemed so amazing and are now so unimpressive. One of us has definitely changed in order for that impression to be altered.

    The thing about high school is that it is this microcosm where popularity among identities that are not yet fully developed equates illusory success. The kind of success that doesn't mean shit. As we get all grown and stuff, we realize that real success is about longevity. In high school people put others on pedestals. It's like a smaller version of the Kardashian Syndrome, where everyone gets mesmerized because they are so attractive/socially desirable/interesting/funny(?) but underneath that there is not a particular talent or potential that guarantees long term success. Same thing with popular kids. They're only as popular as the people who are watching them think they are. After high school, most of the lower groups of the "caste" just stop watching. As we get older we learn the art of discerning true quality.

    Some of those "popular folks" continue to thrive far into adulthood but that's simply because they had something intrinsically motivating them anyway, the popularity was just icing.

    As for potential, I'll leave you with my favorite Bruce Lee quote:

    "To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential."

    Bruce don't lie. If you do that you'll always be straight.

    • Thereluctantsocialit

      <blockquote cite="comment-312848">

      Elle: The thing about high school is that it is this microcosm where popularity among identities that are not yet fully developed equates illusory success. The kind of success that doesn’t mean shit. As we get all grown and stuff, we realize that real success is about longevity. In high school people put others on pedestals. It’s like a smaller version of the Kardashian Syndrome, where everyone gets mesmerized because they are so attractive/socially desirable/interesting/funny(?) but underneath that there is not a particular talent or potential that guarantees long term success. Same thing with popular kids. They’re only as popular as the people who are watching them think they are. After high school, most of the lower groups of the “caste” just stop watching. As we get older we learn the art of discerning true quality.

      I agree with you on this. I think in regards to my high school experience, some of the "popular people" still would be considered popular, but they were the ones that had something else going for them other than their looks. They were actually good, sweet people, hardworking people.

      The ones that were a**holes and just tried to get off on their looks seem to be the ones that are still struggling now. I think they were so used to everyone fussing over them because of the way that they look or so used to being able to punk people into submission that they never really learned any real people skills…

  • ImABlackPoem

    I'd like to know why this story is so popular: cool high school guy/chick turns loser. My grandmother told me it would happen, my mom told me it would happen and in June I'm going to my 5-year reunion to see it in action! Ha! They said, "Honey, all those cute, fly people won't amount to anything in 20 years. Watch!" Don't parents tell their "popular" kids that they are highly likely to become bums in the next 10 or 15 years? I don't understand how this happens from generation to generation. It's interesting to me.

  • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

    I think this is a fairly common story overall because everyone's life "peaks" at some point. Unfortunately, for a lot of the "most popular" and "cool" kids from high school, that was their peak.

    I'm happy to hear other people were in the "A lot of people knew me, but I wasn't exactly popular" group. I was voted Best Dressed, Most Intelligent, made 2 Sweetheart Courts, and voted made Homecoming Court my Senior Year. I think the two things that stopped me from being labeled a straight up nerd were me playing football and an infamous fight in the locker room one day at gym (it's amazing how fast word traveled in the days before Facebook and Twitter).

    Anyway, "my" 10 year reunion was just last October. I say "my" because I skipped my Freshman year and entered high school as a Sophomore, but all my friends invited me to their reunion anyway. When I got there, I felt like a f*cking Rockstar. It was one thing to see old friends, but there were even people that I was only acquaintances with at best, coming up to me like we were long lost best friends.

    The sad common thread though, was seeing how far the mighty had fallen. There were the cocky "cool" guys that were now either 70 lbs heavier or had enough kids by so many different women that they were a phone call away from ending up on Maury. Then there were the girls that had been complete 9s and 10s back in the day that looked like not only had they fallen off the wagon, but had eaten a few pieces of it on the way down. And that was just the ones there, as I'm sure there are always the "too ashamed of where I am (or where I'm not) crew" that won't attend. Now I know when I have kids, I'll warn them to NOT be the popular kids in high school It'll make the reunion so much more enjoyable for them when they stay hungry and motivated and can go back proud of their continued achievements past high school graduation.

    • GirlSixx is ChloeRay

      "Then there were the girls that had been complete 9s and 10s back in the day that <>."

      *Slayed in these e-streets*

      Consider this statement stolen.. lollll

      • GirlSixx is ChloeRay

        Oops. Okay so those thingamjigs deletes stuff.

        Then there were the girls that had been complete 9s and 10s back in the day "that looked like not only had they fallen off the wagon, but had eaten a few pieces of it on the way down."

        *Slayed in these e-streets*

        Consider this statement stolen.. lollll

    • MiaC

      THIS: "Then there were the girls that had been complete 9s and 10s back in the day that looked like not only had they fallen off the wagon, but had eaten a few pieces of it on the way down."

      LOL at that comment. I often read this site, but rarely post. Had to weigh in on this one.

      My 13 year old daughter asked me the other day if I was popular in High School. She is a 7th grader, and we've had numerous conversations on what 'cool' is and is not. I told her that I was pretty well known (having a twin sister, I should say that 'we' were pretty well known). I was cute, smart, and got along with pretty much everyone. But when I graduated, I came into my own. Filled out into my "Grown Woman" shape, did college (Bachelors & an MBA), pledged a sorority (the first and finest, 1908), and did my thang. I see people all the time who remark "You look good! You're doing well. You haven't changed a bit." Sadly enough, many of them HAVE changed, and its not only the ladies that have eaten their fair share of the wagon on the way down.

      Great post.

  • sasha

    I can actually relate to this. Its funny you write about this because occasionally when i run into someone like that from high school and they recognize who i am its almost like they become ashamed for me seeing them that way. Luckily i dont run into to many people often from high school but it makes me wonder what changed in their life. Good post streetz!

  • QueenT

    I'm getting ready for my 25 yr reunion this year….it should be interesting because half of my graduation class is deceased…I graduated in the era of "Hustlers" in '86..so, many of the students I graduated with got caught up and murdered..some just died of natural causes, like my best-friend..the Washington Post did a write up on my graduating year…and the number of deceased it is so bad…so, I am looking foward to seeing everyone…they're doing it big…they haven't really ever had a good turn-out at previous reunions (never went to those)..but I am definitely going to try and make this one…..I am just glad I made it out alive, and didn't get caught up….it will just be good to see everyone and reminisce about those we have lost and talk about the good ole days……but, nah, I wasn't popular but most of the popular, cool kids are dead now, which is sad, I just wish they could've reached their full potential without getting caught out there in the "hustle scene"…..

    • http://www.twitter.com/iamjavone Lady Jei

      Wow Queen, you were going and I was coming. What an era huh?!?

      Being right behind you I could definitely relate.

    • il Duce the Grand Na

      I really can't imagine going to high school in that era. Talk about temptation. When your boy is 17 and owns 5 or 6 cars it's hard to see how school is better choice than hustlin.

      • http://www.twitter.com/TheHRLadyJ Lady Jei

        Not only that, but the dope boys would sit outside our school and look all fly and ish. Talking bout "let me take you to Dapper Dan shopping' LOL!! Yea, it was hard. But knowing my dad's foot was right around the corner helped. But it was truly a time of fighting temptations.

  • Kema

    I was a cheerleader and on the soccer team. Unlike what the movies had led me to believe no one in my school liked the cheerleaders so that didnt actually equal popularity.

    Fast forwad 10 years later to my 10 year reunion. A few people could not even remember me. Someone had to actually take out a year book and point my picture out to prove I had actually been in their graduating class. I guess I didnt make much of an impression.

    Another funny thing about that event… I joked with my girlfriend that I was going to get the most popular guy in our senior class that night. lol! He was the prom king / student organization president. It was such a surprise when he came in and introduced himself as Pastor ____. Did not see that coming!

    • Starita34

      LOL, the cheerleaders at my school were pariahs too! The goths/dorks in the movies=the cheerleaders at my school…

  • http://www.magnetforfoolishness.wordpress.com Magnet for Foolishne

    great post. and great title! i think you should walk up to dude at the fast food restaurant and say this to him…and finish the line…"…the #$@! happend to you?"

  • Alana

    I can admit I've thought about some people who were popular in hs and now they are not doing so well, part of me is not surprised like the previous poster said most of the 'popular' kids goals werent to be ceos and lawyers. Where I graduated there was only a small few that didnt make it into what I would consider a successful lifestyle, most of the popular people went on to have great careers after highschool as well. I was not popular at all but I never envied the popular crowd, I was pretty indifferent I had my own close group of friends and some of them were popular but I wasnt an insecure teenager who wanted all of the attention.

  • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

    If it were a movie it would be called, "Culmination". The opposite of Inception.

    Just think how deep people are caught though and how it develops over time. There are those who get caught in HS, College, Young Adult life, or 30's the new 20 clubs. It's people who opt out of going to the next level because the current environment they are in is one that is comfortable and easy to them.

    I always had my eyes looking towards the next step in life. A few months ago a girl whom i've known since before high school said to me, "No, you changed, you're just mad because i'm still the same person I was in HS."

    I was confused for a moment.

    Then I responded, "I didn't change, I just had a good idea who I wanted to be and I didn't want you to steal it."

    I had strong family ties and my father, while not always there on a full-time basis told me early on that a man sticks with his plan. I knew from a young age that I would be in business for myself. I may not have been the most popular guy at my high school, but I was the guy that people went to so they could get their WB & Looney Tunes characters put on their jeans and tee shirts and headbands. Remember one time, I told this chick I wouldn't have it on time and she said, "You just gassed because everybody come to you for that, you still not sh*t." She ain't even peep the strategy. She was hooked on high school, I was running a business. I worked hard running my little clothing business, my candy hustle, even sold jewelry at trade shows, and people were like why you doing all that?

    #butIgotthemJstho

    Looking back on where I am now and where I was then, I was happy to just be well known, didn't need to be popular. I am still in business because I just chased my goals and acheived them.

    PS – I'm eating my own cookie. I know somebody gonna hate.

    • http://Twitter.com/InAnimateAlpha Animate

      You should have told her that its a problem if shes the same person she was in hs

      • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

        Oh trust me, she got the picture. She even called up a friend to complain about my statement. In my astonishment at her statement, I repeated it back to her to make sure she understood what she said. She was clear.

  • http://earsandlps.wordpress.com LaLaBakir

    Ah, high school. I clearly remember graduating and chucking the deuces while folks stood their crying and hugging each other. My fondest memories of high school involves sports, the primary reason that I was some what popular. On the court (whether basketball or volleyball) I was in my own world…just me and my teammates and I loved it. All of the foolishness that happened in the hallways didn't go down there.

    I was friends with a little bit of every group. I hung with some of the socially awkward kids. Chilled with the skaters, jocks and nerds. The white people loved me. I was cool enough to ward of some of the hate from the pretty, mean girls. Started playing volleyball and kicked it heavy with the Filipinos.

    I see alot of folk who have fallen that I want to high school w/. Dudes who were GREAT in sports (not particularly smart, but they could've got into college) and had mad potential…fat…selling weed…looking old as hell. The pretty girls now look crazy as sh*t. One of them has 2 baby daddies…2 low-lifes.

    I sometimes think that could've been me…had I tried to keep up w/ these chicks as they spent their $ on desinger clothes and popping bottles in NYC. What I perceived as "living life" while I was a freshman in college. The best thing I could've done is distance myself from them.

  • TellyLongLegs

    Although I was an all around student who was known by many, my goal in high school was never to be popular.  I used to have conversations with others about life after high school all the time so although I wanted accomplish a lot in high school I knew that life didn't end after high school…it began. Being popular may be great when you're in high school but if your only goal is to be known for winning best dressed in high school then don't be surprised if that's all your known for 20 yrs later…if that.

    • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

      Funny story here Telly,

      I went to a predominantly white high school. But our senior year the Black people took control of the yearbook committee. I ain't know what to do because I was in class with all white people, but I was also friends with all the Black people. So I did what any other self-respecting Black man would do his senior year. I hung out with white people, i'm sorry I needed my college recommendations written, free weed and beer. However the yearbook came out and all the Black people won the superlatives… to this day that is the funniest yearbook in the history of our school because it makes no damn sense. Our Most Likely to Succeed is a struggling actor, Our Miss Congeniality is a feminist and lesbian, oh please believe the guy who won Best Dressed is no longer seen in circle where there are girls at. It was HILARIOUS. I look back now and understand why we have two separate ten year reunions, and I'm just happy to have gotten invited to both.

  • http://stillnatural.wordpress.com N.I.A.naturally

    By the time I hit 10th grade, I was completely over high school. I was relatively popular because I played basketball, was "the smart black girl" even at a majortiy black HS( :-( ), and all of my friends were much more popular than I. Even then, I knew the popular kids that live for that HS ish weren't going to amount to much. While everyone else talked about attending Clemson, SCSU, or South Carolina, I was headed to Atlanta. I wanted to leave HS things in HS, and that included most of the people. For me, it was all about moving forward, and trying to motivate my friends to do the same. Some of us made it, and some of us decided to remain in a HS state of mind.

    Now, I log onto FB, and I see how the mighty have fallen. How much weight that popular girl has gained or how many baby daddies she has. How that boy I crushed over now looks like the personification of struggle. Most unfortunately, I see old friends who chose to drop out of college and attend community college just so they can come back home and kick it HS style, since so many of the old crew never got their ish toegether, and are still playing HS games. At this point, there are people I barely recognize, and its disappointing that they actively chose to stay in the HS state of mind. I know there are people back home who think I'm a snob, that I think I'm better than them. #NIAshrug. I guess I'll be that.

  • http://stillnatural.wordpress.com N.I.A.naturally

    Congrats on the e-books, Streetz and Doc. And congrats on the BWA nods! Good luck! :-)

  • il Duce the Grand Na

    In light of the past two days posts….I'll start by introducing yall to the fantasy narrative. The fantasy narrative is a defense mechanism. When we lack certain characteristics and secretly envy or resent others for having them….the mind adapts a fantasy narritive to help us cope. This narritive attributes negative or undesirable traits or stories to individuals despite any evidence to support the narritive. This equalizes the person in the subconcious mind and makes it easier to accept or block the negative feelings we have about ourselves. So the next time you see an old school mate that put on a few pounds you may want to ask yourself why it gives you so much pleasure. Or why you have created a background story despite having facts about that persons life.

    OK me……I was pretty popular, good looking and well dressed in high school. I run in to dudes and they still look over my shoulder to see what I'm drivin cause they are still comparing themselves to me 18 years after high school. Meanwhile I aint thinkin about them. Das what real ni@@az do…get chubby and stack bread. I ufcked all the b@tches you still chasin 10 years ago. ROFL

    Look…some of yall need to get your mind right. Friend or foe….for the most part I just wish errybody find peace.

    • Thriller

      Co-sign this to death.

      I was popular in HS but i'm not very far removed from it all.

      I think it hurts some of the people I went HS with that I am still that guy. It doesn't help that a lot of people I went HS didn't realise I worked harder than my "superstar" friends so they underestimated my intelligence.

      But what is true is that atleast for the guys, the superpopular ones often don't amount to much after HS. A lot of my friends spent HS attending all the social functions, house parties, sports events and tried to lay pipe to all females willing. Therefore investing all their time into these activities instead of taking time to be away from "the scene" every now and then and just get down to some studying.

      But the category below that didn't invest all their time into being HS-Superstars are often living up to the potential that God gave them and it's burning a lot of people. The funny/charismatic folk are most likely still winning to this day.

  • http://redlady821.wordpress.com/ RedLady821

    Streetz has an e-book too? I didn't even know, can I get a link or something? Congrats on everything else like N.I.A. said, you all are making moves. We see you and we are proud!

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      I have one coming soon Red. Thanks for the love!

  • http://Twitter.com/InAnimateAlpha Animate

    I wasn't the super popular guy in hs. I was known pretty much because I was smart. The fact that I played basketball was moot since I was no where near a star.

    What kills me is that the black kids could have done so much better and chose not to. Most of the females are doing good for themselves. The guys…only 4 of us that I know of are worth a damn. We all had the same family structure they just were some lazy bums. Maybe thats why u dont talk to most of them.

  • il Duce the Grand Na

    It's funny……at my school we might no have been the richest. But we all knew how to take care of our buisness and stay on our grind. Most dudes I knew did not go on to college but they all are doing fine. They adopted trades or went to the military. Truth be told….if you adopt the right trade you can do as well as a white collar dude. Heck….even my some of my thug friends doubled down on that and aren't doin too bad. Occasional stints in jail just part of the game.

  • MarilynMonRHO

    I think we people stay in the same city they grew up in cause one not to grow. Being so close to everything that so familar it tends to stunt your growth. That why I think when people go away to college even if they don't work in the field they get their degree in they still come out with so much more than those that didn't.

    • il Duce the Grand Na

      This is actually one of the things I don't get about Facebook. For generations part of growing up has been moving on. It seems to me like Facebook keeps people in a perpetual state of High School.

      • http://www.twitter.com/mikasthoughts Mika

        I know! I do not want to keep up with anyone from high school. I avoid their friend requests. Lol.

        • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

          I wont lie.. im kinda glad there was no Facebook when I graduated HS, lol… but yeah you can def control that!

  • http://www.max-logic.com max

    <blockquote cite="comment-312876">

    LaLaBakir: Ah, high school. I clearly remember graduating and chucking the deuces while folks stood their crying and hugging each other.

    That was totally me. By the time I hit Grade 13 I could not wait to be rid of those people. Not that I wasn't popular or disliked them but they just seemed so….basic to me. I don't see or speak to most of the people I went to school with but whenever I run into anyone they're still just so….basic.

    • http://earsandlps.wordpress.com LaLaBakir

      Basically.

  • http://www.twitter.com/mikasthoughts Mika

    I was in the nerd/other category. Everyone called me the "principals pet"… not "teachers pet" but yes "principals pet". Lol.

    Yes, Streetz I think the whole cool crowd thing is just a facade. It's all the other kids who give them that cool title and then everyone starts to believe it. I also think popularity and cool are two different things. I was very popular in highschool but not at all in the cool crowd.

    Somehow, its not shocking to me at all when I see those that were considered the greatest in high school fall off or not be at a point where we thought they would be.

  • RC Turi

    I went to a culturally mixed high school in upstate New York. I didn't play any sports at all including cheerleading (which IS a sport I tell ya). I was in a social group and participated a little in the club for our class year. I had few friends and we were popular but we usually used our popularity for good. I couldn't stand bullies and we would often snap at people who harassed the unpopular. (I actually met one of my current homeboys that way. We rescued him on Freshman Friday.) Two of us dated jocks, one of us was wildly popular among students and teachers and still is to this day. Upperclassmen girls would check out the outfits I wore to school. But I was just me and I hated high school. I played the cut as much as possible and I'm the same way now.

    Our incoming class wasn't well liked. We were actually quite revered. Boys from our graduating class won the state championships in basketball. A lot of us knew students from the higher grades and they would chill with us. When we started high school, people were like how do they even know so many other students here? lol Even until this day, students from other classes want to come to our reunion. Some of them actually attended our trip after prom also.

    The jocks were big fish in a small pond. My ex was quite arrogant about his status. At only 16 I would tell him that there's a world bigger than the town we live in and he needed to correct himself. But you couldn't tell him anything, he was destined for greatness and I was just headed for a "regular life." We're actually both living "regular" lives now.

    Our reunion is this year and I doubt that I'm going to go. I still don't know most of the people I went to school with. One thing I can say is, my girls are all still on point. For the most part the people who were doing decently in high school are still doing decently now from what I can tell on FB. It's nice to see the people I actually did know doing well for themselves. Careers, businesses, families, etc.

  • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

    *TIMEOUT*

    Question: You guys really had those "voted" sections in your yearbooks? Like voted 'Best Dressed' , 'Most Likely' etc etc?

    The hell?

    I thought that ish only happened on Saved by the Bell.

    The Public School System has failed WIM, again.

    • Starita34

      Hell yeah.

      *dusts off Most Athletic and Funniest awards*

      I'ma hafta fact check those when I get home, but I think those were my titles…

    • GirlSixx is ChloeRay

      Absolutely!!! they gave out trophies for it and everythang. Yeah my senior class was over the top. #Flossing

      hell even my neices/nephews have those categories still today and they are in JHS.

      • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com wisdomismisery

        O_o

        I lived a deprived childhood.

        • Starita34

          Which explains why you're such a depraved adult ;-)

        • GirlSixx is ChloeRay

          Did you go to HS in the States, as in The United States?

  • Sade

    I didn't enjoy high school. By the time graduation rolled around, I was completely over the drama and the petty, childish bullsh*t. I will say, that of the people who I attended school with, I've heard of very few cases of people not turning out well. For most people, failure just wasn't an option. I'm not sure how many people are happy with what they are doing though.

  • cynicaloptimist81

    You guys went to Junior High Schools??? LOL! I thought they had those back in the 70's and were renamed Middle Schools in the 80's??? Are you showin your age, Streetz?! LOL

    It's always interesting to see how people evolve (or not) over time.

    I actually went to a magnet HS where the kids were smart and wanted to be there. So there were no bullies or jocks…well, Dominique Foxworth graduated from there but he's the only exception, lol. It was predominately white so we all knew who 'we' were whether we were friends or not. In our school, you mostly hung out with the folks you had classes with…so I was in the group of cool black kids who were in Honors/GT classes. We kept our cool status by being 'down to earth', dressing urban and having bfs who lived in the City (well several of us…we were County Girls, lol). My 10 year reunion was in '09 and we're all doing pretty well. There were a few of the Cooler Guys that definitely fell off in the looks department (mostly due to belly's and smoking habits). The girly girls were still girly. The cool girls (#teamcoolgirl) who mostly rocked tennis shoes and Tims in HS were just as girly as the HS girly girls. And most of us have regular to great jobs/careers. Hardly any surprises at all.

    But, the fact that my first love is such a loser now is…embarrassing and looking back, I don't see how I didn't see it coming. He was a City boy who was a bball star at his HS and a serious street baller…well known for it…and smart…very good at math…one semester away from an AA. Yet, he just stalled out and is just stuck in a pit of nothingness right now. It's sad. You couldn't tell me he wouldn't be a notch on my belt back in the day. Now, I hope I don't run into yo, lol.

    • cynicaloptimist81

      Oh…and though we didn't have superlatives in the yearbook, we did it in my Information Systems Management Magnet class (most of our HS time was spent in our magnet classes…loved that class). And, I was voted Most Opinionated, lol. Surprise, surprise…

    • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetz

      LOL @ showing my age :) Let me clarify a lil:

      In NYC we have elementary schools (usually private schools), jr highs too.

      We have middle schools too.. really depends on the town/city/district you're in.

  • http://www.purplejeli.net PurpleJeli

    Wow, this is too funny! I thought I was in a class by myself but I've realized there were A LOT more people who were loners but cool with folks from all different groups. I loved it that way because I didn't limit myself to being in a box of what others thought I should look/act like. But I also went to a performing arts school so the limits of said "box" was only in how you limited yourself (what our teachers used to tell us). I came up on the tail end of the crack epidemic in DC so my mom kept a tight leash on who I hung out with and how they influenced me. Of course I was pissed I couldn't shop wear what the fly girls wore or go to all the parties, which meant I didn't pull the jocks, dope boys or cool guys. No, I dated the guys who could handle my mom, brothers and a few cousins who just "happened" to be home when he came to pick me up. But guess what, all the guys I dreamed about being with ended up being no where near as cool as I thought they were back in the day and the few that survived the living room inquisitions ended up being the coolest guys I ever met! And lets not even get on the fact that I was the skinny, chocolate athlete with little to no T&A. While I got big respect from guys and girls for spiking a ball in some chic's face, they also teased me about how I could bounce the ball back over the net right off my flat chest! But now, I've gotten my grown woman curves while the "busty" girls in high school have curves, lumps, mounds and mountains to cross! And from conversations with friends and even comments on here, I realize that those who peaked early pretty much fell off when others were still growing and improving. In high school it was cute, in my 30s its SEXY!!! So I'm glad I wasn't the big titty, phat azzed chic in school because I probably would have been feeling myself too much to see the bigger picture. But now that I got me some tit and azz to go with my flat stomach, good career and growing hustle, dudes from way back then are trying to feel me and it feels pretty good.

  • Bee

    I appreciate this post, and I'll tell you why…

    I had the exact same experience, twice fold. In the first instance, I found out that one of the most popular guys at my high school (who was as charismatic as the days were long, as attractive as a Hollywood leading man, and as smart as…I don't know what…) ended up becoming a custodian at my little sister's high school. She recognized him one day and he had that same salty look as your fast-food homeboy. I couldn't help but shake my head because he was one of the people who had bullied me because of my weight (I was a little plump for my age), and called me weak. He was a jerk, but he had all the potential in the world to be a self-made millionaire. I had shaken it off and blamed it on karma, until the second instance happened…

    Recently, I found out that one of the people who bullied me in elementary and middle school again, because of my looks, committed suicide. When I first heard the news, I cried. Not because I was sad for him, but because I was so angry. I thought, "Why would you do something like that? Why would you take your own life?! You had EVERYTHING that I wanted in middle school. You had good looks and a posse of friends who would support you while I had nothing…" When I showed up to the funeral, it was like a 10 year reunion. Everyone who was my "enemy" back then had showed up…and 60% of the people who had bullied me back then had either been in jail, had babies, or just had a salty disposition.

    It was then that I "checked" myself. I connected the experiences I've had with all of my former colleagues, and I realized that all of the stuff that those people put me through made me the person that I am today. Because I was such an outcast, I was able to be like you and "only focus on me." I am proud to say that I have never been in jail, I don't have any children, and I am only one year shy of completing my Bachelors' and heading straight for my Masters' after serving one year in the Peace Corps.

    I can only thank God for making me an outcast, because if I had been popular, I would have probably ended up on the road that some of my not-so-fortunate colleagues took. God showed me that everything that happened in my life happened for a reason, and that my mother was right: They WERE jealous…