Should Women Carry Condoms

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This is sad and scary.

Source: National Survey of S*xual & Health Behavior – Indiana University

A couple quick statistics before we begin:

  • 1 in 4 people in monogamous relationships reported using condoms
  • 1 in 3 singles reported using condoms

So, should women carry condoms? Or do they already? Whose responsibility is it to provide the protection? Why the hell are only 33% of singles using condoms?

I was participating in such a debate a few weeks ago. It is important to protect oneself through whatever means necessary, but I don’t want to spend today debating how safe condoms are or are not. I think we’re all mature and intelligent enough to know that abstinence is the only full proof means of preventing pregnancies and STDs. However, for the non-abstinent amongst us, condoms are the next best thing. Therefore, should women carry condoms? My thoughts:

Hells nah. I was humping dating this one girl once, when she whipped out a smorgasbord of condoms she kept in an oversized ashtray. There were assorted colors, sizes, flavors, brands, etc. It seemed like anything the condom industry had ever specialized in was contained in that bowl. What was worse is that she offered me no explanation for her Ripley’s Believe It or Not collection of assorted prophylactics. Not that she owed me one. But SingleBlackMale family, I have never frowned so hard in my entire life.

Ladies, I’m sorry, but whenever a girl whips out a half-empty box of condoms that is a HUGE shot to a man’s ego, pride and subconscious. I’m no math whiz, but I know condoms come in packs of 3, 6, 12 and 36. Thus, if what you have isn’t divisible by three, I’m going to start asking myself a few internal questions. One of the answers to those questions might lead me to conclude, “O, she a [garden tool], fo sho.”

I mean if you whip out a 12 pack of condoms and only dump four on the bed… What is a man to think? Ego trip aside, if you are going to carry condoms there are a few things you should keep in mind. This brings us to our next segment…

Hells yeah. I don’t know if you know this but women people are going to count your condoms if you give them the opportunity. In fact, I’ll share two real life conversations I’ve had to that effect:

Scenario 1:

Kim: Didn’t u have 11 left last time I was here? There are only 9 here now… *innocent, yet simultaneously furious face*

WIM: *blank stare*

Scenario 2:

Kim’s BFF: Do you have a condom?

WIM: Yes.

Kim’s BFF: Do you always carry condoms?

WIM: No.

Kim’s BFF: Sooo you were expecting to get some?

WIM: *blank stare*

—————

At the end of the day, I’m all for protecting yourself. You have to. It’s crazy out here in these single streets. At the same time, you can be smart about how you do it. No pun intended. So without further ado, in consultation with a few others and myself, I came up with the following 21st century condom carrying tips:

1) Ladies: You may or may not know that there is a “condom compact” available. It holds 1 – 3 condoms. It’s discreet, fits in your purse, and it’s dainty enough to protect the man’s ego instead of presenting him with a wide array of half-filled condom boxes. Not that it is any of his business – and he should be grateful you protected yourself – but let’s keep it real. Men do not want to try and figure out why the 12-pack condom box with the receipt dated for this month only has one condom left in it.

As an additional tip, if you have an interest in one man and you want to figure out his preferred brand, crazy idea coming, ask him. Any man over 21 who doesn’t have ONE preferred brand of condoms is suspect by nature. Plus, if you ask a man what kind of condoms he prefers and he can’t name a brand it is probably because HE DOESN’T USE CONDOMS.

2) Ladies and Gentlemen: Ok, so if you’re a guy or a girl who finds it un-lady like to carry condoms around, this is for you. It’s about presentation. Your condoms should be in an accessible location that doesn’t make it awkward or ruin the mood when you go to retrieve them. In other words, your condoms shouldn’t be in your attic. Sure, you’re safe and health conscious but while you’re shuffling through insulation looking for protection, you will ruin the mood.

Ladies, don’t be like the women in the story above. Don’t dump your half-empty condom box on the bed in front of your man. Please and thanks. Fellas, don’t be dumb either. Don’t whip out a roll from a 12-pack of condoms with only seven left. Pre-break those condoms, fool! You guys can have that awkward conversation about if she is “the only one you’re seeing” some other time.

What do you guys think? Should women carry condoms? Is it the man’s responsibility to provide the protection? Fellas, would you judge a woman that carries condoms? Preferred brand? (Trojan Ecstasy! FTW!). Ladies, do you carry condoms or have some at your home that YOU bought, not that are left over from a past relationship, why or why not?

 

 

 

 

 

P.S - Single Black Male is a finalist in 5 categories in the Black Weblog Awards this year thanks to your nominations! We need your help one more time! Please vote for us in the finals for Best Blog Design, Best Blog Post Series, Best Sex & Relationship Blog, Best Group Blog, and Blog of the Year. Make sure you use a valid email address otherwise it won’t count. Click here to make it happen.

P.S.S- Make sure you check out the website for b condoms. They’re the only minority-owned socially responsible condom company in the world, and they’re helping drive these discussions forward!

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From Our Partners

  • http://www.twitter.com/RealTalkSuki2 NowSayItWithMe

    It's not a bad idea to carry jimmy hats around. As long as those *points upward* directions are followed. No one wants to be embarrassed before they slap skins. I think it's a good idea.

    Plus, WAYYYY too many people think raw sex is cute. They're all on twitter talking about "Oh, it feels good. If you're std/sti free, why worry?" *shrug*

    Yeah, why worry? Forgot about that whole thing called pregnancy. Oh well. It's just 9 months of stress followed by 18 21 years of utter joy at a young age, especially if you're in or fresh out of college. Or even high school. Yeah, unsafe sex is cool. F*ck b*tches, get babies… -_-

  • Starita34

    Yup. If there's any possibility that you might be having sex you should carry a condom, regardless of your gender.

    Why would you keep the box? You throw one or two in your purse or wallet and KIM. WHY would you have the box still? Color me confused.

    Not carrying condoms is just silly. I always thought it was so dumb in movies that they'd always have to run to the store to get one right before, talk about ruining the mood. I'm cheap though. If I were having sex I'd go to Costco and get me an economy sized trough-o'-condoms. If he wants to count all those, be my guest. Of course, I've spoken to men that won't buy more than three at a time because they're scared of "the curse". *smh* And ya'll call yourselves the more logical gender!

    • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

      CondomDepot.com (delivered to your door) #YourWelcomed

    • Chantelle

      What is the curse?

      • Starita34

        That when you buy a lot of condoms, you'll have a dry spell. Like you got too cocky or some ridiculousness.

        • http://ficklebriiz.tumblr.com Briiz

          That curse is REAL… will have you looking lost, wondering why. SMH

        • http://hazardoussentiments.tumblr.com Kriola

          the curse is oh so real! I used to live by a Good Vibrations store and they have condoms by the singles for hella cheap and if you buy 12 you get them for like $11 and I had a coupon for $10 off so I bought 12 for like $1.50 and I was sooo juiced cause I had a "special friend" at the time…..then all of a sudden he went ghost and a FIVE month dry spell kicked in…..I will never buy that many condoms again.

  • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

    Good post, WIM. Now if you don't mind I'm gonna pull a chair sit back and watch all these people file out of church and talk about all the protected sex they have and how they're shocked at these statistics when they know good and damn well they done been on Maury 'bout six different times tryna find their baby daddy. The lie detector determines "You's a damn lie!"

    • Starita34

      lol, I have no idea the percentage when you go by # of sex acts, but going by the men I'm 2 for 3.

  • Chantelle

    I think women should have condoms in their place of residence. But carrying them around, ehh to each their own, personal choice no judgement there. After college, I had the whole collection of assorted condoms, because condoms were everywhere in college. I never stopped to think about how it might look having various brands. But luckily that is no longer the case.

    I have a preferred condom actually.

    Luckily, I've only encountered the urge to count a man's condoms once. I've now learned that there are some things I just don't need/want to know, particularly if we're not committed. And I would NEVER run the "you were expecting to get some?" line unless I was joking. Simply because, when guys DO make a move, and are unprepared I will fault them. So why fault them for being prepared… Even if he was expecting, if he isn't "behaving" like it, or showing disappointment who cares.

    For someone who isn't my boyfriend or s/o I really don't invite them to my house, unless EYE am expecting to get sum. *shrugs*

    • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

      <blockquote cite="comment-314260">

      Chantelle:

      And I would NEVER run the “you were expecting to get some?” line unless I was joking. Simply because, when guys DO make a move, and are unprepared I will fault them. So why fault them for being prepared… Even if he was expecting, if he isn’t “behaving” like it, or showing disappointment who cares.

      Yeah, I may have to touch on that on another day. I vetted this blog on Twitter, like I do most blogs, and some women said they would be offended if a man expected s*x. Which I have to say, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Am I suppose to expect NOT to have s*x? I don't get you unstable creatures sometimes – and by sometimes, I mean none of the time…

      • Starita34

        <blockquote cite="comment-314267">

        WisdomIsMisery: I don’t get you unstable creatures sometimes – and by sometimes, I mean none of the time…

        Aww, so you understand us perfectly then… #DoubleNegatives

        Gawd, I'm a dork.

        • Adonis

          #NerdAlert!!! Thanks for the reminder… BRB

      • Chantelle

        yea, maybe in h.s. I expected guys to "not expect" sex. But now, no. So when guys hit you with the "let's chill and watch a movie" you promptly say "nah, im good". Let's not be naive. lol

  • thegapeachteach

    I recently tried to give a guy one of my condoms and he refused to take it…in fact he got up and left without saying anything else to me! I only handed him one… I knew it was his size…so I don't think he was embarrassed…

    I was kinda bothered at first but then I saw it as a blessing in disguise…either he didn't want to use one (and nothing would have went down without one)…or he was turned off

    • Chantelle

      Yikes!

  • MsEvaHoney

    I work in sexual health and could easily go into a rant but I won't. So short answer, absolutely women should carry condoms.

    • Adonis

      LOL… and you know why I am laughing… Even though I disagree… I take my future children very seriously… I feel like I can recover from dirty bird in most cases… But a unplanned pregnancy is not the wave…

    • Intellectual Hedonis

      Ms Eva Honey,

      As someone who works in Higher Ed (at a woman's University) I totally concur with your post 2 thumbs up

      PS I think this is my first time posting here

      • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

        WELCOME!!

  • Chantelle

    Oh and by the way… if a girl is on birth control, many a fella will consider that to be all the protection they need once they've established a pattern with her and start plottin for the raw goodies. The "i got tested last month" convo comes up.

    • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

      Wow. Are dudes still on that? I remember cats in college were like "ol girl got tested and she clean so I must be good too" lmaoooo Dudes were really on some 3rd Party STD-free test.

      #DoBetter

    • Lina

      Or they're only willing to use a condom if you tell them you're not on the pill. Things like this are why I can't get down with casual encounters.

  • Mix

    I was taught to not take condoms from women…poke holes,etc ,but it really depends on the woman if I trust her, but me using hers would be a horny last resort lol

    • http://www.becauseimwrite.com muze

      this is actually smart. sadly, i know of 2 women who kept "poked hole" condoms on stash for certain men they saw as financial investments. smh.

      • Mix

        Wow that's cold. That's why im glad no kids yet becuase I need to find a classy lady

  • thegapeachteach

    My bad…hit publish too soon…

    he was turned off that I had my own…and if that was the case that was a turn off for me… Anybody nowadays that's not married and having sex unprotected is asking for a world of trouble down the line (and believe me I know…I'm a single parent to a 3 year old… I learned my lesson) I'm glad I was saved from possible drama!

  • Adonis

    After giving this some thought… I am not a big fan of women carrying condoms… Esp. If you are shooting for wifey status…

    If I was on some monogamy romantic tip, I would enjoy a woman who is courting me & only me, and demands that my pre-s*x game is as legendary as my s*x game… Part of her responsibility is not let me hit it raw… Women should always make sure a guy's stays strapped…

    I remember doing the condom test on a big t*tty fat girl (I love fat girl t*tties), and I was disappointed that she would let me get it raw… No f*ckin' foresight, not thinking about her future children… I still hit… But I know subconsciously I lost respect for her (I tried to sleep with her friend &,failed miserably… Ended losing p*ssy privileges, I digress)

    Ladies, have some standards, demand greatness from the men you love & are attracted to,

    You may lose a few men in the process, but putting a high value on your vag*na, pays dividends in the long run…

    Make men carry & use condoms… Be disciplined enough to say no to him, chances are he won't, cause if you get an STI/baby out of the deal… It is your fault & your responsibility (9/10 times)…

    • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

      *Flavor Flav voice* Wooooooooooow!

    • jbreezy

      i'm trying to understand why you didn't have enough respect for your own genitalia to use a condom instead of just trying to pawn it off on the chick. Obviously if a chick gets preggo/an std its "her fault" but what if the dude catches something he can't get rid of in that scenario? Is it still "her fault"?

      • Adonis

        I'm sorry that i didn't make it clear that I used condoms with her… My point was that she didn't stress it AT ALL… Being that women are "the backbone of society", I hold the women in my life to ridiculous standards…

        Obviously if dude gets her prego & catches something, he shares some blame as well, but as far as the responsibility (baby/STIs), completely on the woman…

        And I don't know if you chilled in a hood or two… But there are alot of single mothers walking around in America that wish she wouldn't have let Pookie talk her into him hitting it raw… Also wishing that she would have took full custody & control of the s* xual encounter that night…

        • Adonis

          Care, custody & control*

        • jbreezy

          Ok lol. Gotcha

          And i feel you on women taking responsibility. And trust my list of friends that don't have babies outta wedlock is short as hayle. But i still stand by my point (even if it no longer applies to your situation) about dudes being on the hook for trying to hit raw in the first place. Why put yourself at risk too just because women are supposed to be responsible. Your own health is your responsibility. Blaming Susie for not insisting that you use a condom is not gonna change that fact that you still hit raw and ended up catching something- whether its a disease or child support payments

        • Adonis

          Ok J, I'm a end it here…

          I hear you on the dude's responsibility…

          But when you have women who entertain irresponsible dudes in the first place, it really makes addressing that particular dude that much harder…

          Chances are, he was a wacksauce deadbeat before the girl met him & she knew that but chose otherwise…

          And the unfortunate way life works, when s*x is over women get left holding the bag (9/10 times…)

          Enjoy Yourself & Goodnight

  • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    Yo, I'm a virgine and I carry 'em. *drops mic*

    Wayment… *picks it back up*

    Women should NEVER feel bad about having them in their wallet. Like… I can't carry my own, but I'm free to use the "possible" one you may have? BOY, BYE. What kind of delusional arse world thinks this way? Oh right… this one.

    *flings mic out window*

    P.S. Ladies, check out this place that has a CUTE way to discreetly carry condoms. It's a condom case that looks like a makeup mirror. I got one in a goodie bag during a Rae Lewis-Thornton (if you ain't up on her, you should be. Google.) event. Anyway, it's here: http://www.justincaseinc.com/products.cfm

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      Cheekie why u carryin condoms theaux?! Tease…. :P

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        LOL, I knew someone would say it. I haychoo, Streetz. I'mma be prepared like Scar, doe. Even for the impossible dream. Pow!

    • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

      Don't know what to make of this…

  • http://ladyngo.blogspot.com Lady Ngo

    Man, eff that bruised ego bs! Would you rather have a bruised ego or an itchy, gangrene, 2 seconds from fallin off d**k?!? So yes i think women should have condoms either at their house or in their purse if they are gettin it poppin at someplace other than their home.

    As far as the tips go, i do think that life in general is much easier if your rubbers are in a readily accessible place, especially if you knew thats what the end result of the night was going to be anyway. If you're gonna have late night company you might as well leave a couple under your pillow so as to waste as little time as possible.

    • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

      Make the guy go the extra mile for your p*ssy, even if it kills the mood

      Unless of course… you are just "The P*ssy" (As NC-17 says)

      • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis
      • http://ladyngo.blogspot.com Lady Ngo

        Maaaaaan, what does what you're saying have to do with the price of tea in china?!? Miss me with your BS today Adonis! No where did i imply that my goodies are easy to come by. Im sorry that me insisting that females be the responsible party that you're always screaming they should be makes them (or me) easy or whatever it is you are trying to imply. GTFOHWTBS.

        Said in the nicest way possible. :)

        • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

          We'll agree to disagree… But I think we agree mostly…

          When it comes to casual s*x, anything goes…

          But I factor in the "gf/wifey" variable, which is a big deal if you ask me

  • Melissa Lynnette

    Why wouldn't I have condoms if I were sexually active? I don't have any of my own sperm and I don't want yours, sir, thanks. I wouldn't decorate with them but Jesus Mary and Joseph I would make sure to parcel out my vagina to a grown man instead of someone who was spending more time worried about what I was doing with my prophylactics than he was about my VAGINA! I thought it was naked sexy time, not math time. Lol! You wanna pause that so you can count my condoms? Delightful.

    And I don't leave it up to the guy for a very important reason: Too many times in the past when I've done just that, he hasn't had one and then I didn't get to have sex and I was mad. Or he only had one and then I didn't get a round two and I was mad. Etc. Fuck all that.

    • Adonis

      Good Morning…

      See, I would agree with you & your hoeshit, if it was just about the s*x…

      If you are not well-versed in the SBF universe, let me introduce you…

      http://max-logic.com/2011/01/12/the-drought-is-so

      Now, this post is significant to me, because OG Max reminded me how much responsibility & BS women have to go through to get some… But if a woman is disciplined & smart, her & her p*ssy can go far in life

      But if you don't care about being someone's wife/girlfriend or any other relationship where a man values you highly, then I respect your gangsta…

      But you will be the same chick wonderin' why guys only want to sm*t you out, and don't want to give you a ring…

      And I don’t leave it up to the guy for a very important reason: Too many times in the past when I’ve done just that, he hasn’t had one and then I didn’t get to have sex and I was mad. Or he only had one and then I didn’t get a round two and I was mad. Etc. Fuck all that.

      Which brings me to another point… Why are you entertaining s*xually irresponsibile dudes… i'm glad you had some restraint, but I am quick to through a woman under the bus for not being thorough with the dudes she chooses to sample her…

      Any woman that can show men a modicum of wifey material in this day & age got it made with all this out-in-the-open ratchetness…

      I hope you get what you want, out of the men you allow to penetrate you…

      • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Peter Parker

        always a way with words, adonis.

        • Teflon Temptress

          I'm officially changing the phrase "smokin' that Charlie Sheen" to "smokin' that Adonis". This bamma is plum out his mind.

        • GirlSixx is ChloeRay

          *Deceased at TT's comment*

          Whew Lawdy!!!!

        • Kema

          *Spits out tea* HAH HAH! lmao @ Teflon

    • http://hazardoussentiments.tumblr.com Kriola

      AMEN! thats why i carry them because I don't wanna get all hot and heavy and then have to stop because you didn't bring a condom! its happened before and I don't want it to ever happen again!

      • http://hazardoussentiments.tumblr.com Kriola

        I need to add an addendum to this, I don't carry condoms wherever I go, just if I know I am gonna get lucky, otherwise I just stash them at home.

  • AfroPetite

    <blockquote cite="comment-314260">

    Chantelle:

    I think women should have condoms in their place of residence. But carrying them around, ehh to each their own…

    I agree. I don't carry condoms on my person everywhere I go but I do keep a stash in my home. I suppose it's irresponsible of me to expect men to provide protection but I've never run into a situation where any male was lacking these *shrug*

  • http://sisterescape.blogspot.com/ Le Chele

    33% of single people use condoms?!?!? Y'all wildin!

    And brothers, if you strong and sure in yourself, a chick pullin condoms out her bag is no thing. She knows what she wants is simply trying to protect herself. Even if she gets around, she's a part of that 33%. You should consider yourself lucky to know ur bumpin w/ somebody responsible. Y'all ego is ridiculous.

  • Rxbeauty

    As a young black woman in the DMV, I think it’s irresponsible if not right out dumb to not protect yourself. So if you’re turned off then you’re obviously not the man for me. I normally ask to get tested after “The Talk” so you would already know what you’re dealing with. If I had to choose between your ego and my temple, then obviously my body wins. This is seriously why I think black women are the new face of HIV, we can’t win for losing. I carry condoms because my body is a temple and I protect it at all costs.

  • Adonis

    Before i get roasted in the morning, let me say this,

    I am noticing that a large percentage of women are really selfish when it comes to their relationships with men…

    You want to be such & such dude's gf/wife, but don't factor in the kind of woman he wants you to be while you are under his arm…

    I'm interested to know how you expect this type of relationship to thrive when you only thought about how you would only benefit from said relationship…

    Maybe I oversimplifying it… (How Tho…?) or I am missing something (How Tho…?)

    Disclaimer: If you are a woman who is only about suckin' & fuckin', my scenarios don't apply to you… For you are already clear about what you want out of a man…

    • Chantelle

      I don't believe women behave the same with every man and vice versa for men. So while we may be okay with making John wait for the goods because of his lack of condom, we may not be willing to wait for Joseph, hence when the condom is revealed from her nightstand. Alas, I have met a men or two who have threatened to trap me o_0.

      • Starita34

        THIS!!

        Glad to know I'm not the only one that doesn't have the resolve of Mother Theresa! "Just say no" is sometimes easier said than done, Nancy. Why set yourself up? Better safe than sorry. Be prepared. *insert other such cliches*

        • Starita34

          Let's not just assume that the big, bad man is persuading us into having sex with him. Sometimes *gasp* women want to have sex too!

      • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

        Oh, I know how some girls be when stringing one guy along & giving up the P*ssy to another…

        I love sniffing these kinds of ratchets out (of course, unless I am on the positive side of that equaltion…)

  • InsomniaPoet

    Okay maybe I am a silly girl but I DO NOT provide condoms. If a man wants my goodies he better be prepared. I am old fashioned when it comes to certain things and that is one of them. I am 30 and have NEVER purchased condoms. If you come unprepared you leave unsatisfied. The end.

    • GirlSixx is ChloeRay

      Silly +1. *shrug*

      You're not alone, I don't purchase condoms either, I mean really if dude comes unprepared that tells me 1 thing— He didn't want this bad enough.

      Damn roles are all out of whack nowadays!! 1st women are now expected to approach men and ask for dates AND PICK UP THE TAB.. Now we gotta provide (buy) the love gloves too.

      I'm not knocking any woman who does but i'm sorry that's one role change I refuse to adapt and yes I have been caught SOL (sent him packing with a loaded gun) because he had no protection giving me that BS line "you clean though, I can tell just by looking at you, you take care of yourself, you good" o___o. Yeah ninja you right I'm clean and I wanna stay that way. Deuces!! *smh*

      • http://ladyngo.blogspot.com lady ngo

        I can understand where ya'll are coming from and to a degree, i agree with you. At the moment i don't have any condoms just cuz im not strokin anyone lol. But in general, if i am in a sexual relationship my condom stash is for *caught in the moment, wasn't plannin on doing xyz" situations. I do generally leave it up to the dude to have them or be prepared to make a walmart run but i have them too for those just in case days.

        *It is a good and valid point about a dudes who come knowing they planned on doing the do but didn't bring any protection. Mega side-eye. And even bigger side-eye to the dudes on that "i can tell you're clean" nonsense. You can't tell anything from looking…unless you're looking at that paperwork stating that im good to go. And even then, thats not 100% either. they coulda caught something the day after they got tested.

        • Kema

          lol! Condom run? Thats foreplay. No I will not supply the condoms but I will go with you to pick some up.

          Also this helps set a precedent. I bet he will not come unprepared again. *wink*

        • GiriSixx

          <blockquote cite="comment-314336">

          Kema: lol! Condom run? Thats foreplay. No I will not supply the condoms but I will go with you to pick some up. Also this helps set a precedent. I bet he will not come unprepared again. *wink*

          I hear that..

          "And NO!! I'm not going half on the box either." *sucksteeth*

        • @Top5DOA

          <blockquote cite="comment-314331">

          lady ngo:

          …i don’t have any condoms just cuz im not strokin anyone lol.

          o_O … Don't know how i feel about this statement being that you're a woman.

      • http://twitter.com/ModelingNShit FlyyOne

        “you clean though, I can tell just by looking at you, you take care of yourself, you good”

        I fell outta my chair w/ that one Sixx. LMFAO.

        • GiriSixx

          Craziness, I'm tellin you!!

          *ThisisNotAGame*

      • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

        Damn roles are all out of whack nowadays!! 1st women are now expected to approach men and ask for dates AND PICK UP THE TAB.. Now we gotta provide (buy) the love gloves too.

        This is why I love the S&I woman… All I have to do is provide the d*ck & some emotional support… But please believe, she is not a long-term prospect for me…

        • GiriSixx is ChloeRay

          S&I women???? What's that?

        • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

          Strong & Independent & I only need a man for convenience… type chick

  • http://christinawrotethat.com Christina White

    I have a heart-warming latex story… though it doesn't involve me carrying one in my clutch, I still take credit.

    After a year of friendship and flirting and perplexing curiosity, I began an intimate relationship with a White coworker. We were mutually each others' introduction to "others" as well as "my type" antonyms.

    The first time he came to my home, following a work Christmas party, he stopped to get condoms, per my request, at a nearby gas station. I live up the street from the hood. All they had were Magnums.

    On that very special night, he discovered that rubbers aren't supposed grip to the point of cutting off circulation. And I discovered something like the most AWESOME! sex ever.

    Wait, wrong website.

    • TellyLongLegs

      BOL!

    • GiriSixx

      *MouthWideOpen*

      Damn!!!

  • Smilez_920

    Women the same men saying "women shouldn’t carry condoms" are the same ones looking for the nearest exit when an accident happens and someone period is late. While I do think women should be lady like about carrying condoms ie :( find a nice medium size change purse to put them in or little jewelry box that well ventilated by the bed..they need to be carried by women because the men always seem to accidently forget them when the mood is right (and trust the pull out method doesn’t work, every time I come home from school another person I went to HS with is pregnant so CONDOMS PLZ)

    And I don’t think as many women are poking holes in condoms as you think (setting a man up) unless you’re a (Politician, rapper, sports icon, actor, stock broker, Fortune 500 company owner) so when A women pulls one out have no fear if you dont fall in the above Categories . :)

    • ucity88

      <blockquote cite="comment-314311">

      unless you’re a (Politician, rapper, sports icon, actor, stock broker, Fortune 500 company owner)

      OR you got them pretty eyes like Terrence Howard…or hair like El DeBarge… ;)

  • TellyLongLegs

    I think it would be wise for women to carry condoms or at least have some at their place. I can go and on about STDs/STIs and pregnancy but I wouldn't be adding anything new. At the end of the day it's your responsibility to protect yourself, not his.

    • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

      +1

    • DeKeLA

      I co-sign 100%. If women wanted to be responsible and respected, take responsiblity in all aspects of your life, especially the $exual aspects.

  • http://www.blackgirlunlost.com Jubilance

    I wrote about this on my own blog because I got really pissed off at seeing all this "you're a hoe if you have your own supply of condoms" garbage on the Internets.

    I love sex. I love being childless & disease-free. Therefore, I keeps my own stash of condoms, because like my mother told me when I was 18, I have to protect myself & be responsible.

    BTW, at every testing center I've ever been to, they've heaped a bag of condoms on me. Are women supposed to leave them there? Hide them? What? So don't assume that every person who has a gang of condoms got them from a 3,12, or 36 pack #thanks.

    Anyway, all these rules are arbitrary & great for you WIM, but unless we're all gonna hump you at some point, it really doesn't matter. I'll keep carrying my condoms & pulling out my stash when I need to #safetyfirst

    • Starita34

      You raise a great point. I've never purchased a condom in my life either. But I've provided, used, and carried them.

      If you join their mailing list, many companies will send you free condoms. I've gotten them from a gf when I was without and caught off guard. If they're being given away, I'll grab a few. So yeah, at that point in my life I had a random number and assortment of brands available, and was only "with" one dude, never occurred to me that I may look like a "ho" for maintaining my safety. I was so naive… *smh*

      • Chantelle

        I TOO have never purchased condoms.

    • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

      <blockquote cite="comment-314317">

      Jubilance: I wrote about this on my own blog because I got really pissed off at seeing all this “you’re a hoe if you have your own supply of condoms” garbage on the Internets.I love sex. I love being childless & disease-free. Therefore, I keeps my own stash of condoms, because like my mother told me when I was 18, I have to protect myself & be responsible.

      *sigh* To clarify, I'm realllllllly starting to think grasping satire may be a lost art form amongst the Internets. 1) Do you realllllllly think I (cant speak for the next man) care if a woman carries a condom or not? 2) Even if I did, are you realllllllly not going to carry or use condoms because some stranger on the Internet made a joke about it? Word? Women are going to open themselves up to STDs and kids because "WisdomIsMisery" or some other random stranger wrote a blog or Tweet, that one time, on that one website, your friend told you about?

      #DoBetter

      Moving on.

      <blockquote cite="comment-314317">

      Jubilance: BTW, at every testing center I’ve ever been to, they’ve heaped a bag of condoms on me. Are women supposed to leave them there? Hide them? What? So don’t assume that every person who has a gang of condoms got them from a 3,12, or 36 pack #thanks.Anyway, all these rules are arbitrary & great for you WIM, but unless we’re all gonna hump you at some point, it really doesn’t matter. I’ll keep carrying my condoms & pulling out my stash when I need to #safetyfirst

      I'll be honest. In my 28 years, no one has ever given me a condom at a clinic. Maybe the rules are different for women. As a side note, I would recommend not taking those condoms – not because you're proactive and being safe and blah blah blah, which I support – but because those CHEAP condoms SUCK.

      On behalf of men everywhere, if you ARE going to carry condoms I suggest you annie up a few extra dollars and get some decent ones at CVS or Walgreens. Those red/blue Matrix pill looking condoms are free for a reason. Ol no lube, tight fitting, quick to bust @ss condoms. I think those things are DESIGNED to fail. – end rant.

      Let me restate, in case anyone is confused here, I don’t believe I said ANYWHERE in this blog that women should let a dude slide in her raw. I'm simply presenting the question: ‘should women carry condoms’ or if this is a responsibility that should be left up to the men – to either carry condoms or be willing to go and get condoms if he came unprepared. While I respect that you are progressive and carry your own, that's fine and dandy, but given my experiences, not every woman is like you.

      Just sayin.

      • Kema

        <blockquote cite="comment-314338">

        WisdomIsMisery: I’m simply presenting the question: ‘should women carry condoms’ or if this is a responsibility that should be left up to the men – to either carry condoms or be willing to go and get condoms if he came unprepared.

        That is exactly what I got from reading this post. However it seems that some people are taking a woman's refusal to buy condoms as her being ok with raw chex. They are not the same. I have had to wait 20 minutes for results to come back. There is no way that I can get so hot and bothered that I would forget what that felt like.

        Possible future hubby: Man! I didnt even expect this… I dont have a condom

        Kema: You dont have any? Guess we gotta hit Wawa's… leggo!

        • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

          <blockquote cite="comment-314368">

          Kema: That is exactly what I got from reading this post. However it seems that some people are taking a woman’s refusal to buy condoms as her being ok with raw chex. They are not the same

          Ha. Thanks.

          That is what you got from the post, because that is what you should have gotten from the post. I blame myself for the misinterpretation. Hence forth, I'll offer all blogs in English and, for those who speak a second language, "selecto numero dos para espanol por favor."

      • Chantelle

        Not all clinics have those free random brands. I've seen Durex, Trojan and Lifestyle for free. And they are usually in big ass bowls.

    • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

      As long as you are getting what you want out your scenarios… My points are moot…

  • @Top5DOA

    From reading all the responses, looks like 100% of the women here are engaging in protected sex (at all times) —–> GTFOH.

    Moving on, I personally don't mind a woman carrying condoms or having condoms in her drawer when i come over. Women have whipped out on me (#PauseLife) plenty of times and to my recollection, she received no blank stares, side eyes, or secret salt from me.

    I had a convo last night with this chick (2 kids, single) who says this guy who she knows is intimate with other chicks as well as his wife (smh moment) and the first time they had sex no rubber nor was a patented pullout technique employed AND not to mention, during sex he says "you aren't going to give me any babies, are you?" and she replies "No". So not only do you have cats not using rubbers, but you got cats "shooting up the club" w/o much thought. I've heard too many stories of women with kids or are pregnant, who didn't know he was going to willingly blast off in her. Another single dude i work with said, "Yo, i can't even remember the last time i seen my nut." NINJA'D MY BRAIN.

    So obviously, dudes out here can care less about protecting themselves or having children cuz thee assumption is that whatever the end result is, the woman is going to have to deal with. How many fatherless children do you know of???

    In closing, Ladies, by all means PROTECT YOURSELF (condoms, BC, etc.) cuz [some] n*ggaz don't care about the consequences.

    • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

      Co-sign'd and Like'd.

    • CanIJustSay

      <blockquote cite="comment-314318">

      @Top5DOA:

      From reading all the responses, looks like 100% of the women here are engaging in protected sex (at all times) —–> GTFOH.

      In closing, Ladies, by all means PROTECT YOURSELF (condoms, BC, etc.) cuz [some] n*ggaz don’t care about the consequences.

      It's true! People are having unprotected sex with their jump offs, side pieces, one night stands and shooting off in them DAILY! (average dudes and baller dudes)

      True story: Met this dude (baller) I'm not Kat Stax so I am not trying to air anyone out. Met him at party we get #blameitonthealcohol wasted. So round 1 everything's good. round 2 i'm thinking like peeps are saying in later comments this is feeling way too good so I ask he's like we're good. THE HELL not until i get up and the o.g. leakage (ya'll know what I'm talking about) I was mad, scared, and drunk.. WHO DOES THAT SHISH? So of to gyno I go. But then if I'd gotten pg dude would have been trying to pay for the excavation.

      People are STILL putting their life at risk in 2011. Like WIM said #DOBETTER

    • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

      From reading all the responses, looks like 100% of the women here are engaging in protected sex (at all times) —–> GTFOH.

      Alot Men know what kind of women we are dealing with… & it not the rhetoric that the women are spewing up here…

      This is less about the women being strapped, and more about the kind of men they allow to penetrate them… Again, they don't DEMAND that these said men, be s*xually responsible…

      The truth of the matter is that alot of women are attracted to sexually irresponsible men, and they have to account for his said actions…

      Says more about the chick than the d*ck…

      • CanIJustSay

        this is complete and utter BULLSHISH!

        • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

          Sweetheart (Under the assumption you are a beautiful woman…)

          I would agree with you, if & only if, you had a sound rebuttal to accompany your opinion…

          Enjoy…

        • CanIJustSay

          I just realized that the line I was speaking of did not copy

          you stating "Says more about the chick than the d*ck…" Is bullshish.

          Assuming two adults are involved both have irresponsible habits not the chick. Get over "This is less about the women being strapped, and more about the kind of men they allow to penetrate them…… Again, they don’t DEMAND that these said men, be s*xually responsible " each need to be responsible for their own genitalia!

          We are having s.ex with you we are not your effin mothers!

        • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

          Unfortunately in life, if you want to win… you have to be responsible for others as well as yourself…

          We will agree to disagree homie…

          Enjoy

    • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

      All of this!

      The problem is, dudes is out here having sex like its Game of Thrones times. SMH

  • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

    1) I find it funny when people commenting on a post about carrying condoms, but do not disclose that they are actually virgins.

    2) Welcome back to all of you from our discussion Tuesday, i'll leave it at that.

    3) If it weren't for unprotected s*x, there would be no unprotected s*x.

    3b) Not everyone is supposed to get that.

    4) Have you tried buying condoms lately? Back in the day you had brands. Now you have brands and types. I went in there one time, I went through all the new types of condoms. Sorry I was like Frank Lucas, in college we had the brick which was 80 condoms in a pack. I had about ten or … so. I'm in the "Family Planning" section looking like a high-top fade in the club in 2011. Anyway, after wondering why in the hell there was a condom called burning sensation and why it was for sale, I saw "extra sensitive". I didn't know what that meant. Then I saw "Enhanced Feeling" and "Super-thin" and "For-her Pleasure". Um… "Super-thin", no explanation needed. So I grabbed this one, but then I see "Ultra-thin" but these are made with polyurethane. And polyurethane is supposed to be way thinner than latex. So I started reading and it had this warning on the back, "This product has not yet been tested on humans." I quickly threw those down and grabbed the latex and paid and left. As i'm driving home, I got to thinking, "So wait, I just bought the condoms that have been tested on humans …. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEET!" And I stopped at the next stoplight and threw those sh*ts in the trash and went home.

    4b) For that reason, most of the women who say they do carry condoms, I can understand why they have such a wide assortment because they have no clue what to get. But the majority of you are lying because that whole process is enough to make you revert to "it's the man's responsibility."

    • QueenT

      Dag, J…they test everything on humans and animals in this day and time…you might as well throw everything away! LOL

      I go by what the guy used the first time..or I ask him what kind of condom's he uses…and it's that simple. I go and buy the brand he uses…I just buy the condoms just in case he doesn't have any….they are always good to have on hand.

    • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

      <blockquote cite="comment-314321">

      Dr. J: 4) Have you tried buying condoms lately? Back in the day you had brands. Now you have brands and types. I went in there one time, I went through all the new types of condoms. Sorry I was like Frank Lucas, in college we had the brick which was 80 condoms in a pack. I had about ten or … so. I’m in the “Family Planning” section looking like a high-top fade in the club in 2011. Anyway, after wondering why in the hell there was a condom called burning sensation and why it was for sale, I saw “extra sensitive”. I didn’t know what that meant. Then I saw “Enhanced Feeling” and “Super-thin” and “For-her Pleasure”. Um… “Super-thin”, no explanation needed. So I grabbed this one, but then I see “Ultra-thin” but these are made with polyurethane. And polyurethane is supposed to be way thinner than latex. So I started reading and it had this warning on the back, “This product has not yet been tested on humans.” I quickly threw those down and grabbed the latex and paid and left. As i’m driving home, I got to thinking, “So wait, I just bought the condoms that have been tested on humans …. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEET!” And I stopped at the next stoplight and threw those sh*ts in the trash and went home.4b) For that reason, most of the women who say they do carry condoms, I can understand why they have such a wide assortment because they have no clue what to get. But the majority of you are lying because that whole process is enough to make you revert to “it’s the man’s responsibility.”

      LMAO. Seek help.

      I'm a simple man. My condoms have gone like this: Durex Extra Thin Lubed. Used those forever, then I grew up. Now I rock with Trojan Ecstasy, in the Gold Wrapper. No not magnums, they just happen to come in a gold wrapper, which I have no doubt is a gimmick perpetrated by Trojan. Anyway, those purple wrapper – for her pleasure – are ok too.

      I've always wondered if "for her pleasure" (ribbed, lubed, etc) condoms even make a difference. I guess this is as good as forum as any. Ladiessssss? Your thoughts?

      • @Top5DOA

        Magnum Fire & Ice are theeee coldest … It's the livest blaze from a sensation standpoint.

        • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

          Don't put shit on your d*ck called Fire, trust me on that. You don't have to go that route, bro.

        • GiriSixx

          Oh. Really…

          *Grabs Pad and Takes Notes*

          Thanks

        • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

          <blockquote cite="comment-314345">

          @Top5DOA: Magnum Fire & Ice are theeee coldest … It’s the livest blaze from a sensation standpoint.

          Gotta go with J on this one. I dont fux with the fire and ice or any of that "heat" crap. For one, I've heard things………… *blank stare*

          For two, some women are allergic to all those different chemicals. Pretty much the only stuff I use outside of condoms is Astroglide (if yall dont know, it's a water based lube like KY, except better IMO). As we progress in the relationship, and I found out how down she is with the freaky-deaky, then we can start bringing in all the other intangibles.

          But, first impressions are everything. I dated a girl that was alergic to Trojans (not condoms, only Trojan's brand). Yeaaaah, that sucked.

      • http://Twitter.com/InAnimateAlpha Animate

        Those damn ecstacy are the truth! The different ones like for her pleasure and ribbed etc all have different effects from my experience and feedback.

        • @Top5DOA

          Ectasy's scare me … Feels like they coming off, so i don't really know what I'm on with them joints.

        • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

          <blockquote cite="comment-314355">

          @Top5DOA: Ectasy’s scare me … Feels like they coming off, so i don’t really know what I’m on with them joints.

          LMAO. Yo those Ectasy are thin but damn bruh, I gotta feel somethin. (Pause). That is a terrfying internal conversation to have though:

          "Dam this p….y feel good. WAIT. This ish feel TOOOO good!!! Is the condom still on?!? I think it's still on. IT GOTTA BE ON! ….please be on… *low key reaches down and checks*

          YES, IT'S STILL ON!

          *hits internal dougie*

          Dam this p….y feel good."

        • GiriSixx is ChloeRay

          <blockquote cite="comment-314364">

          WisdomIsMisery: LMAO. Yo those Ectasy are thin but damn bruh, I gotta feel somethin. (Pause). That is a terrfying internal conversation to have though:“Dam this p….y feel good. WAIT. This ish feel TOOOO good!!! Is the condom still on?!? I think it’s still on. IT GOTTA BE ON! ….please be on… *low key reaches down and checks*YES, IT’S STILL ON!*hits internal dougie*Dam this p….y feel good.”

          *Bust Out Laughing at this comment*

          Ya'll killing me today.

      • http://twitter.com/ModelingNShit FlyyOne

        I heard – we had a whole lunchtime discussion w/ the chicas at work – that those Ecstasy's are where it's at. A friend who doesn't always use latex b/c she and her man live together actually leaves them on his pillow when she reallllly wants to get busy. Lol.

        • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

          Agreed. I'm going to keep it real. I dont know about women, but for men, CONDOMS SUCK. They always have and they always will. But no what sucks worse than condoms? KIDS! AIDS!.

          But yeah, those Ecstasy? Mannnnn, the first time I rocked those joints I felt like Baby Simba in The Lion King.

          "A WHOLE NEEWWWW WOOOOOOORLD"

        • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

          I at one point was a tester for Trojan. They sent me all their up and coming brands. Ectasy was one. Ectasy Magnums too. Fire and Ice as well. Ill say this. The Ectasys will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!

      • Chantelle

        Trojan, extra sensitive, silver wrapper

    • http://Twitter.com/InAnimateAlpha Animate

      Lol and this if why Dr J is that dude.

    • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

      I like this…

      I wish women would put as much work into understanding their type of man & being the kind of woman, that said type of man likes… (I think I said that right…)

      I still say make the dude jump through hoops & then give them some p*ssy…

      It is the equivalent of a contested jumpshot… if it goes in, you live the fact that you did your part to prevent the shot going in…

  • QueenT

    Umm, I don't know about nobody else…but, I'm pretty sure if you are from the DMV or live there..you have heard that the infection rate of HIV in African-American women is staggering….it's on par with Africa…and (or) slightly worse…..women are dying people. I had a cousin die from it..and a very close friend of my family so it's very real…so eff a ego….Let me see, my life or this guy's ego..which is it going to be? It's a no brainer……So, yeah, I am going to ask about condoms, I'm going to buiy condoms. and carry them if need be…..when I first met my current SO, I asked him about condoms…and then when he came to visit..I had a box of them just for us….I don't know what he thought about it…didn't really care……I'm just saying if you are engaging in regular casual sex and in non-committed situations you should definitely carry them, buy them and use them…….

    Fellas, listen, I know your ego's are fragile…but, if a girl has a box of condoms that means she is responsible..it doesn't necessarily mean she is a garden tool……it means she has good cotdam sense..that's what it means..and she may be a keeper….think about it.

    #thatisall

    • http://www.twitter.com/mikasthoughts Mika

      Thank you Queen.

    • http://www.therealslimjackson.com Slim Jackson

      Queen coming through with the thunder. Agree with all of this.

    • furious_styles

      Condoms for everybody. Anything less is bullsh#t. The man and the woman are both having the same type of s+x with each other, no matter what it is. Men need to stop name-calling women for being smart and practical…because of something YOU want to do with her. It's a new day.

    • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

      "I’m just saying if you are engaging in regular casual sex and in non-committed situations you should definitely carry them, buy them and use them……."

      Based on the key words in italics… we agree on this…

      Um… as far as the STI goes… I think about my children before my well-being… But that is just me… Both are important… But I can die knowing that my child is in a good situation… (No down sydrome, disease free, financially stable, and vigilant parent(s) )

      And although I haven't had s*x in a while… It is fun going to the GMHC (long story) and getting tested every three to six months… I like the habit of keeping up with my health…

      As far as STI goes… It is up to the person to get tested together… & to screen your s*xual partners to see how s*xually responsible they are… Nothing is ever 100% in life… But I don't see women making men go the extra mile… I'm sorry in NYC, I don't see it…

      They quietly expect the men they like to have it all together, and then wonder why they end up with a baby & HIV..

    • Vonnie

      Preach Queen!

      and big ups to Kema too!

      Kema says:

      lol! Condom run? Thats foreplay.

      This is real ish! Depending on who u wit!

      Really ladies, we all have a responsibility! You can have condoms and not let it be known if not necessary. Feel your man out. Do what feels right. Use a little finesse. If he's an eager beaver and the store is close by it might just make you both hotter to call time out. But if there's no turning back then bust it out, open it up and put it on yourself (be creative with this ;)! Just make sure you protect yourself!

  • http://www.twitter.com/mikasthoughts Mika

    I always carry condoms in my purse. Its the responsible thing to do…man or woman….single or in a relationship. I don't get the correlation between a woman carrying condoms (no matter the amount) and her being a {garden tool}.

    I love when men have condoms on hand, its sexy and shows they're mature, responsible and value their lives. Its when they have none at all, that scares me and its actually a turn-off.

  • http://www.magnetforfoolishness.wordpress.com Magnet for Foolishne

    good post today. great information and insights.

  • DeKeLA

    Really? In 2011, with all the STI/STD's and single moms out there, there is a question about whether or not a female should carry a condom?

    C'mon, A smart woman would protect herself in all situations: carrying cash when heading out, carrying flats when wearing heels, having a back-up wig for when it rains, etc.So during a situation which can lead to LIFE or DEATH, she is shunned or tabooed into not carrying a condom?

    Some dudes (not Men) need to grow up, and be happy that there are woman who do NOT want to have your babies. Sometimes our ego….smh

    • http://www.twitter.com/mikasthoughts Mika

      @DeKeLA Thank you!

      my Saturday night checklist includes:

      red lipstick

      blackberry

      flask

      mirror

      a pair of flats

      and at least 4 condoms

      LOL

      • @Top5DOA

        Eeeeeeeeee … You had me at "flask" … You had me at "flas…" Lol

        • http://www.twitter.com/mikasthoughts Mika

          @Top5DOA haha… its so necessary.

      • GiriSixx

        She said the "Flask"..

        Girl you ain't playin… *lol*

        • http://www.twitter.com/mikasthoughts Mika

          LOL! #soSerious hahaha

  • Rick

    I think we really need to emphasize that condoms primarily prevent STD's, but when it comes to preventing pregnancy, women have 10+ other forms of birth control available to them. So condoms aren't the end all be all to preventing pregnancy, but are the #1 source of preventing std's.

    And yes, preventing pregnancy is primarily women's responsibility. Emphasis on the word primarily. Men are responsible also, but why depend on men to prevent something from happening to YOUR body. Especially these days with countless single moms already out there?

    Your body, your choice, your responsibility……because you'll be left holding the bag.

    • http://www.therealslimjackson.com Slim Jackson

      Good stuff Rick.

    • WUT

      Too bad it'll be you in court, and coming out of pocket for 18 years, and more if the kid goes to college – regardless of if you stick around or not. Not only that, but you'll be a complete joke to your family, esp. your mother if your only input in your childs life is being a pay check. But hey, I'm sure momma doesn't mind as long as you keep that up. LOL

      I have an uncle with about ..6 kids, ALL by different women, his pay stub was $11 dollars last time I saw it and the majority of the kids were still under 18, most over 18 now and are in college and two gave him a break and the courts decided he didn't have to pay up anymore for those *2* kids who were nice enough to give him a break. Oh did I mention he works at Harvard, ROFL.

      • WUT

        Guys that think getting pregnant is a womans concern remind yourself of this, you'll be that loser in court that the clerks, lawyers, ect. are all thinking "lol this ghetto piece of shit can't raise his kid(s)?" – you WILL infact be coming out of pocket unless you'd like for them to simply take your money without asking, you'll be paying for 18 years or more if the kid(s) go to college, and you'll be that loser…that loser who is grown enough to have sex but wasn't grown enough apparently to protect your own damn self.

        I don't give a damn if my girl wants to keep condoms, she does and it's whatever but I always have them on me. Not that it matters since we live together and are getting married. And actually WANT kids in the future.

  • http://www.streetztalk.net Streetz

    Good Post!

    Yes women should be discreet in carryin condoms. Men too! Its real in the field man… shtay protected!

  • CanIJustSay

    Can I just say……I am a regular commenter on SBM but I had to go incognegro so I can keep it real as I have turned my ex dude and a few co-workers on to this site and discretion is a must. I am about to keep it all the way trill!

    I am currently abstaining from sex but that was NOT always the case. I was hot in the a$$ for a lot of years (nothing that I'm proud of but just stating facts) with mad game if I can say so myself.

    Now ladies – you should ALWAYS carry a condom when I say always i mean like the sanitary napkin commercial. Some of you are hot in the a$$ but for the sake of saving face on this site you will play the role. You are having sex with multiple partners and that's your choice if you are a grown a$$ woman. BUT CONDOMS ARE A MUST. So let me tell you how to operate this here condom game.

    1. You know when you meet a dude you want to give him some. HE can only go down from there (most men talk themselves out of it) Once you guys get to that point the first time he should provide his own after that as the blog states ASK HIM what kind he wears – then TELL HIM you'll go pick them up for him. He will appreciate it.

    2. Keep a box for each dude. That way no counting is necessary (men you can use this one too for women) Expensive maybe but its keeps down all these unwarranted hurt feelings. If you happen to slip up and use one on someone else REPLACE THEM

    3. You can tell a man you're not a virgin and that a certain condom works for your body chemistry 9 times 10 he'll oblige. That way the extra condoms you have from the others can be in rotation.

    If a man doesn't want to use a condom. Leave his a$$ he's nasty and you're not special. He's been raw dogging everything he hits.

    All that to say if you're going to have sex carry your own condoms. This may not be lady like but its the mu-effin truth.

    • http://www.twitter.com/mikasthoughts Mika

      "Keep a box for each dude"

      WELL DAMN.

    • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

      Good stuff and thanks for sharing. All I have to add is while some may see these tips as misleading, I see it as looking out for self. Therefore, I see nothing wrong with it – and it's probably how most men operate to keep it 100. In closing, until you have the "we're committed" conversation or say "I do," it's every man, woman, and child for themselves in my opinion.

      It's called the 'dating game' for a reason. "Yeah I said game but I aint playin around this m*tha f**cka" – Lil Wayne

      *side note: please ignore the fact that Lil Wayne has more kids than a lil bit. Thanks – Management*

      • Starita34

        <blockquote cite="comment-314369">

        WisdomIsMisery:

        *side note: please ignore the fact that Lil Wayne has more kids than a lil bit. Thanks – Management*

        *howls with laughter*

        THIS guy!

    • ucity88

      #1 all day. ALL!DAY! I'd have sex more often than every few years if guys would stop talking themselves out of getting some…

  • Rick

    <blockquote cite="comment-314336">

    Kema:
    lol!Condom run?Thats foreplay.No I will not supply the condoms but I will go with you to pick some up.

    Were you on OMBS?

    Also this helps set a precedent.I bet he will not come unprepared again.*wink*

  • http://Twitter.com/InAnimateAlpha Animate

    Short answer: yes

    LongAnswer: why the heck wouldnt you? Miss me with gender rules and what not its irresponsible in my eyes. You like sex, you want sex, but you won't take the measures to protect yourself? Most people have a nightstand next to their bed, drop 3 condoms in there if youre sexually active at the moment.

    I'm speaking from my own experience but everytime I have had sex with a girl for the first time out eas on her turf. Only one of those times had sex been planned to happen. Another time I stopped on the way over because it was understood. The other times they had condoms. Thats 2 times ever that I had sex planned.

    In closing I just have to say that if you want to start banging a dude and he comes over without condoms its youre fault for not getting the desired thrashing.

  • Phidelity15

    I don't know about carrying condoms wherever you go, but I definitely think women should have condoms on hand in their home. I remember in college I went to Harambee and racked up on the biggest bag of condoms with different flavors, sizes, lubes and all kinds of goodies from the Public Health table. Me and my roommate both had boyfriends at the time so we placed the condoms throughout the room in various spots where privacy could be had for two people. With all the condoms in that one little room (we had a big ass walk-in closet though with a nice corner where you couldn't see), and four people getting it in on a regular…guess who still ended up preggers?!?

    Not me…my roommate and her dude. See I used those condoms and my babe was not mad at the fact that they were there.

    Now I keep a box in the nightstand drawer and its such a delight that when I say "condom?" me and my partner both start reaching; him in his wallet or pocket, me for my dresser drawer. Better to be safe than sorry.

    PSA: I worked in a public clinic for a while and just an FYI… when you get tested, please make sure that you specify the STD test that you would like to be ran. When you say "test me for everything" you are NOT always being tested for everything. Depending on your healthcare provider they may only be testing for chlamydia, syphillis, gonorrhea and hpv. Blood tests can be done to test for herpes even if you don't have any symptoms and always always get an HIV test.

    • Starita34

      <blockquote cite="comment-314363">

      Phidelity15:

      PSA: I worked in a public clinic for a while and just an FYI… when you get tested, please make sure that you specify the STD test that you would like to be ran. When you say “test me for everything” you are NOT always being tested for everything. Depending on your healthcare provider they may only be testing for chlamydia, syphillis, gonorrhea and hpv. Blood tests can be done to test for herpes even if you don’t have any symptoms and always always get an HIV test.

      This a million times. You MUST be proactive. YOU pay the doctor, tell them exactly what you want. Stop blindly trusting things as important as your health to "well I just assumed…" Ask questions, make demands, if they don't meet them, fire them and get a new doctor! <–Could easily have a multiple meanings…you figure it out <i>but take your health seriously.

      *kicks over soapbox*

  • @Top5DOA

    <blockquote cite="comment-314364">

    WisdomIsMisery: LMAO. Yo those Ectasy are thin but damn bruh, I gotta feel somethin. (Pause). That is a terrfying internal conversation to have though:

    “Dam this p….y feel good. WAIT. This ish feel TOOOO good!!! Is the condom still on?!? I think it’s still on. IT GOTTA BE ON! ….please be on… *low key reaches down and checks*

    YES, IT’S STILL ON!

    *hits internal dougie*

    Dam this p….y feel good.”

    Lmaoooooooooooooooo *Tears up* … Perfect … Down to a "T" … I gots to feel something too, but in order for me to make moves the heat factor has to be intensified. I can be in some lukewarm vag for hours, when it hits about 4 or 500 degrees thats when moves are made. So Yes, the word "Fire" in dealing with any sexual situation is troubling, but at least its not Ice & Fire

  • http://twitter.com/ModelingNShit FlyyOne

    Can I just say I'm not the least bit surprised at those statistics/visual representation? And in general, I don't think there is anything completely wrong w/ them (except for the 66% of singles who don't)? The stats include all races… and for most people (except black people b/c we gotta do EVERYTHING different) marriages and serious monogamous relationships start in your early 20s. Thinking about ALL races… and the general conduct w/in marriages and serious relationships (The stats say only 25% of monogamous relationships use condoms therefore 75% of relationships don't) … one should expect the graph to look something like it does. As the age progresses so do the amount of marriages and serious relationships… I mean even black folks start to get married in their 30s. Lol.

    - end rant –

    Good post WIM. Gave me some things to think about b/c I generally do not carry Cs. I actually bought my first C not too terribly long ago. However, I also don't usually participate in casual encounters which is why I never really felt the need. My s/o would be the one providing, etc. This year has seen some changes so maybe I need to adjust my conduct accordingly or get back to the way things were… hmm… food for thought.

  • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

    i don't mind women carrying or having condoms. when it comes to things like that my ego will not be hurt. if you're single and i'm single i'm going to assume that you're having sex with someone else until you tell me otherwise. i'm not naive. not if we are in a relationship and you pull out a half used box of condoms then we have a problem. other than that do your thing.

    also, i don't always know or think that i may be having sex with a particular women. if i don't think that then i'm not really thinking about carrying condoms with me (unless we're at my house). if things take an unexpected turn and we head down that road, if she has condoms that's great. i've had to do the store run thing before (no trey songz).

  • @Top5DOA

    Not sure if this has been discussed before, but I'd like to know what people's definition of a hoe is … I had a discussion with a lot of friends and the differences were crazy. Some say, if she has sex with another woman's man … some say if she has had sex with 20+ guys … some say if she smashed the homies. Just another possible topic idea.

    • http://Twitter.com/InAnimateAlpha Animate

      To me a whore its someone that has no selection process when it comes to sex. Anyone that offers gets a prize…male and female. Trains of 3 or more automatically give the title

  • Intellectual Hedonis

    I am floored by some of the hypocritical and at times naive responses to this post. seriously no judgement on any of you but REALLY, some of the double standard talk is really bananas. Any woman that values her sexual health and is sexually active should walk and yes I do mean walk with condoms (period). I cant tell you how many times I have supplied one or two to a male/female friend because I had them with me. It is irresponsible to do otherwise. If you feel some kind of way about carrying them around, then guess what you shouldn't be sexually active. If you feel some kind of way about seeing your boo with them, then guess what? You need to have a conversation on trust. Lets be adults people. Communication is the best protection and next to abstinence is a condom and if you cant deal with a woman having a "life saving" stash then grow up.

    just

    • http://www.therealslimjackson.com Slim Jackson

      Tell 'em!

    • Teflon Temptress

      "If you feel some kind of way about carrying them around, then guess what you shouldn’t be sexually active."

      Ahhh, but see – that's exactly why I stopped carrying condoms around. If my desire can't hold out enough to get our hands on some condoms I shouldn't be doing it in the first place.

  • http://ladyngo.blogspot.com lady ngo

    <blockquote cite="comment-314371">

    @Top5DOA: lady ngo

    LOL, well when i was comin up we used to call sex "doing the stroke" so the terminology has always stuck with me. I suppose the more "approriate" way to phrase it would be "im not being stroked at the moment" but that just sounds so excessively vulgar lol

  • SaneN85

    I have kept condoms in the past, and didn't think twice about how a man would feel about it. Too be 100% honest, I've never made having condoms on hand a priority. If he doesn't have one and I don't have one stashed somewhere, that's where a trip to *sings* Wally wally wally wally wally wally world comes in at. If neither of us is prepared and a trip is necessary, that likely means that this would be a new partner and taking that trip to WallyWorld would give me some extra time to make sure 100% ready and not making a decision based on my horniness.

    • http://www.becauseimwrite.com muze

      i was going to say… a interruption "mood killing" trip to CVS might save you from regret in the morning. or see him without the horny goggles, etc. i know someone who changed mind mid-trip to the drug store to get latex. lol. one less mile on the carfax i suppose.

  • http://www.therealslimjackson.com Slim Jackson

    So I just really went through the post itself and I laughed heartily. First thing is the remark about condoms in the attic:

    "Sure, you’re safe and health conscious but while you’re shuffling through insulation looking for protection, you will ruin the mood."

    I found the idea of shuffling through insulation so the jawn can get insulated hilarious.

    Chicks dumping out half-empty condom boxes is a no-no. Just have 'em in a drawer or something individually…particularly if you're into casual s*xing. I think women who don't keep condoms around are being foolish unless their abstaining from pumps or have an ogre over visiting. Sometimes stuff just happens.

    I also find it funny when chicks only keep magnums around. Mess around and have the C slip off and get lost up in there cuz homie had too much ego to be like nah, I use a different brand. Random, I know. It's Friday.

  • http://Twitter.com/InAnimateAlpha Animate

    Tangent comment

    Ladies learn how to put a condom on your man

    • Kema

      look ma no hands!!

      lol! ok ok… I cant do that but it is a trick I have thought about adding to my arsenal.

      • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

        Wavy

      • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

        that would be an excellent trick to have in your repertoire.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    Not a fan of condoms in the least. I'll always begrudgingly use them though. I don't have a problem with women carrying condoms, and I haven't been having sex long enough to have a preference for any single brand/type. As long as it fits, I'm okay.

    • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

      Shoot, couldn't edit fast enough. Anyway, I'll admit in my youthful ignorance I sometimes (read as: damn near every time), I'm tempted to ask to go in raw just for a little bit after I clean up and get ready for the second round. >_>

      • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

        I respect your honesty, sir.

        The Halmark response is to say: You should strap up EVERY TIME, ALL THE TIME. 100%! Never slip up! "Never let go" – Titanic.

        Over here "in the real world" I would say: 1) get tested every 6 months if that's the route you're going to take. Actually, if you're active – condoms or not – you should get tested every 6 months. If you have decent insurance, most will cover this or you'll only have to co-pay. 2) Seriously, find a preferred brand of condoms. If you find a brand you like but can still enjoy the experience, you'll be A LOT more likely to strap up. 3) Not to assume, but since you volunteered "youthful ignorance," I'm going to assume you're younger. Greater restraint comes with age. Of course, some people are dumb their entire life. I'm not telling you anything you (or anyone reading this) doesn’t already know: Be smart. Be safe.

        Also, don't mind these comments because I'm guessing, at minimum, 98% of the folks here have played the "let me just put the head in game" at least one hundred times one time. Frontin is a habit.

  • Pingback: Are Men Looking for an IT Factor in the Women They Date? | Wisdom Is Misery()

  • Smilez_920

    I see alot of ppl mention using condoms during casual sex, but you should always use them with a partner as well, a majority of ppl get STD's not from sleeping around but from unprotected sex with a committed partner. There are some STD's that can't be test properly in men like HPV (unless there are outer symptoms) that a women can find in a PAPs. You might get tested for something and be clean then get tested again somewhere down the line and come up positive, some std'd/sti say dormant in your system for a while. BASICALLY just use condoms until you are married. With all the brands variety and sizes you can find one that properly suites your needs.

  • http://www.thirtythoughts.wordpress.com thirtythoughts

    A woman "carrying" condoms implies that she is liable to "get down" at any moment. This is not a good look. I think "carrying" condoms looks bad, but having them at home is a MUST. I would be inclined to make assumptions about a woman who carries condoms in her purse/car.

    I've never had a one night stand, nor do I ever anticipate someone will get me that hot and bothered upon first meeting them to make me want to have a one night stand. I think a man's thoughts about a woman who carries condoms around in her purse are justified. It's great she wants to protect herself, but no man wants to know or think about the fact that the woman he's sleeping with is "getting down" like that.

    • Smilez_920

      Every man a women dates is not in the running to be her man (in a committed relationship) so why does it matter what he thinks (not saying a lady shouldn’t always act like a lady 100% f the time but damn) We are all adults I’m not saying a women should have a condom shop in her house or have used ones form the last man laying in the trash but damn if she's not a virgin and only sexing in a committed relationship then why does it matter. If you’re just the man there to satisfy a urge then do your damn job and stop being nosey worried about what else is going on, as long as we've both been tested in the last 6 months and using new (non-expired) condoms then what is the problem. Hell she's trying to save him some money in his pocket.

      • Smilez_920

        Plus just cause she has condoms (36 or 3) does'nt mean she is using them. There are 1000's of brothers that have a stash of condoms that go unused cause they are getting no play, nothing but lotion and their right hand. So why cant a women just have them. She could have also just ended a relationship( maybe a few months ago) were they were using condoms and always had the stash on deck, couples have lots of sex.

  • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

    <blockquote cite="comment-314343">

    GiriSixx: I hear that..“And NO!! I’m not going half on the box either.” *sucksteeth*

    Aaaah… I like that

  • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

    <blockquote cite="comment-314379">

    WisdomIsMisery: Agreed. I’m going to keep it real. I dont know about women, but for men, CONDOMS SUCK. They always have and they always will. But no what sucks worse than condoms? KIDS! AIDS!.But yeah, those Ecstasy? Mannnnn, the first time I rocked those joints I felt like Baby Simba in The Lion King.“A WHOLE NEEWWWW WOOOOOOORLD”

    #CmonSon

    You could have said "Circle Of Life" "Hakuna Matata" or "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" by my favorite gay man EJ… But you when to the Aladdin hit…

    The Lion King & Aladdin are CLASSICS

    This was such a good post that inspired a bomb a** discussion… so, I'll let it slide…

    • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 Herbetteroption

      nah hakuna matata only works when yall exclusive and she on that birth control…it means no worries lol

  • Teflon Temptress

    I've been all over the condom map in the past. As a s*x newbie I didn't have condoms on hand because well, it was new to me. The guy had them, no worries. Got a little too comfortable and familiar (even though we ain't really a couple) and had those trips to the doctor where I was praying fo GAWD-T that if He just kept me safe and unpregnant I'd never fornicate again cuz I knew I'd slipped up. Thank ya Jesus. Then I wanted to be a "modern woman" and started carrying the jimmy hats. But you know what? That pause you take when you "unexpectedly" need one is usually what stops you from doing some ole heauxshyt. So I just kept them at home. If I don't want you in my apartment I don't need you inside me.

    I stopped buying condoms for a minute because I'm contrary and that shyt just seemed too easy for the guy. Got me over here shaving, plucking, primping, making take-out look like homemade and yo behind can't stop at the store and pick something up? (lights flames on the hoop I expect you to jump through). Chuckling as he grabbed his keys and tried to cover his excitement with his shirt as he ran out the door cussing under his breath. 7-11 is never that far away, bruh. Never. Then…I developed a latex allergy and had to go back to buying my own. Curse you latex allergy! But the good thing about polyurethane is that it doesn't smell like old balloons.

    • cynicaloptimist81

      I told myself I was alright riding this here e-bench on this topic today (good post and all…I just don't wanna discuss my 'good lovin' procedures in public), but THIS ^^^^^^ whole comment had me laughing out loud!

      <blockquote cite="comment-314422">

      Teflon Temptress: If I don’t want you in my apartment I don’t need you inside me.

      * nods * Speak on it…

    • http://twitter.com/lhautevie Little Miss Sunshine

      every.last.part. of this comment (minus the latex allergy)….

      Living in DC knocked the smarts into me. Was too scared to get active with a DC man but if I got it on elsewhere there was ALWAYS a condom in my bag. Sheesh. DC.

  • CPT Callamity

    Be lucky she comes with ANY form of birth control nowadays! I don't take a woman packing hats as a threat or anything. Props given because at least you give a damn enough to protect yourself, unlike some of these ran-throughs that I know that say "it's a man's responsibility" and let dudes run up in her anyways. I don't see where the problem lies. Just like I'm not intimidated by a woman who has a toy collection…shows you want to and know how to please yourself. We are adults!

    IF she shows me a bowl full of them…sure…she could be looser than the gear timing on an 86 Fiat, but it could also mean that she might have been to a doctors office and took all the free ones. Hell, I know the last time I went for my HIV tests, they had them all over the place. I asked the nurse specifically for some and she gladly gave me a heaping handfull with assorted lubes and was about to give me a female condom just in case I had a brave lady to try it on.

    Overall, I say YES women should carry condoms. I frown upon those that are just out here going and leaves the responsibility to others. As if we already don't have enough microbes and jump off children running around.

  • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

    OFF TOPIC

    Kim Kardashian got engaged… I am excited to hear about WIM thoughts on that…

    – I think the biggest thing the KK did was not get pregnant & have kids (maybe she aborted some, who knows…)

    – She made a s*xtape with her bf & it leaked… It is just water under the bridge…

    – I doubt the marriage will last… But like in this classic WIM post…

    http://www.singleblackmale.org/2011/03/25/someone

    I don't mind playing the male mistress when things go south…

    ————-

    White women take compliments so much better than Black women, Idk why that is… but it p*sses me off…

    ————

    The Heat broke my heart last night… I still will stick with my prediction, Heat in 6

    Good Afternoon Again…

    In the few times I have had s*x, I only when raw once (well, I went raw in the beginning… On the woman's suggestion, and then I eventually put a condom on), I think I was about 20 something… (23 now), In that 2-5 minutes of pumping, I UNDERSTOOD WHY couples go raw early & often…

    But other than that… I use condoms every time…

    —————————-

    I have really high standards for women who want to be with me for more than just s*x… I just do… And they are really, really high <DEL> ridiculous, possibly BS </DEL> standards… I hope no woman ever meets those standards… And I am happy if some woman actually does…

    My scenario is very clear… If a woman wants to be my girlfriend & beyond, she has to have a certain swag to her…

    - Saying NO to condomless s*x is one of them…

    - Making me go to the store to get condoms, because she has to sleep with me that night, is another…

    When a woman pulls out a condom on me when we are having s*x in the beginning & I WANT TO WIFE HER… I think…

    – She is casually sleeping with other men (Looking at you Max), that is not MY future wife

    – She might have a high body count (not my wife…)

    – She is not s*xually disciplined… A woman who is more sexually disciplined than me is screaming "I need to go to Jared's and put a down payment on the biggest rock I can find…"

    Now… I understand why most of you women disagree with me, y'all simply don't make the cut… That's okay… There are way better dudes out there than me <DEL> I doubt it </DEL>, that will give you a ring…

    ————————-

    Another thing… Once a woman is my gf… I STILL don't want her holding the condoms… EVER… It is a little inefficient & annoying… But stick with me here…

    I believe that I am such a fantastic bf/husband in & out of the bedroom, that I expect some of my gf to be overcome with deep emotion & love, that SUBCONSCIOUSLY, she wants me to get her pregnant…

    It is my way or the highway

    A woman addicted to a man, has NO PLACE in condom leadership…

    The standards the women have these day are so low… Women will trade their coochie for a 15 Ruprees & a ham sandwich… #NoSympathy

  • http://codecipher.blogspot.com MeteorMan

    If I'm feeling all hurt b/c a lady has some condoms, then I'm focusing on the wrong thing. I'm about to get some and that is an ego booster. Just saying…

    Put this into perspective. If ol' girl is going for "wifey status" then she's already my gf right?? I'm leaving joints over her place (and counting them). If this just some female I'm smanging, then who cares if she has condoms on deck?

  • http://www.thirtythoughts.wordpress.com thirtythoughts

    <blockquote cite="comment-314418">

    Smilez_920: Every man a women dates is not in the running to be her man (in a committed relationship) so why does it matter what he thinks (not saying a lady shouldn’t always act like a lady 100% f the time but damn) We are all adults I’m not saying a women should have a condom shop in her house or have used ones form the last man laying in the trash but damn if she’s not a virgin and only sexing in a committed relationship then why does it matter. If you’re just the man there to satisfy a urge then do your damn job and stop being nosey worried about what else is going on, as long as we’ve both been tested in the last 6 months and using new (non-expired) condoms then what is the problem. Hell she’s trying to save him some money in his pocket.

    Maybe to the woman carrying condoms in her purse, it doesn't matter what "he" thinks. I wouldn't know. But, no one wants to be considered a ho, whether she's just looking to get hers or not. However, most people (not just men) are going to draw that conclusion about a woman who carries condoms in her purse because the only 2 reasons why she would need them WITH HER is if: 1) she has one night stands or 2) she has been known to get down in public.

    So, should a woman carry condoms in her purse? Sure, if she gets down like that, but she should know that there is a double standard and there always will be when it comes to sex. For a woman, carrying condoms in your purse is not a good look.

  • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 Herbetteroption

    between them awkward drives to walgreens and as much as a box of condoms cost nowadays im all for her having some…im not naive im not bout to pop her cherry so i know theres been men before me and probably after me.

  • http://lovebootcamp.tumblr.com Gabrielle Heart

    There's only one person who is responsible for my sexual health and it's ME and no one else.

    I used to buy random boxes at the grocery store, give some to my friends who were being stupid so the level of friends of mine getting pregnant would go down. "Oh look a new flavorstylecolor" and it was simply because I just find condoms to be the best modern day invention. Plus what do you do with a box when you figure out that you DONT like the ribbed for her pleasureweird warming sensations. Half the time they just sat around unless I knew someone who wanted em. I'd rather have condoms around than a 3D tv that's for sure.

    Once upon a time I hooked up with a guy and definitely pulled out like a dozen different kinds and he was taken back and I told him "Would you rather me have none still trying to fuck you right now?" and he agreed with me. Better to be OVER prepared than under prepared when it gets down to it.

    I think it counterproductive for you to say "Psss, why are only 33% of singles carrying condoms" and then turn around and say you're judging us for having an array of sizes and flavors. Do you think you're the only person this girl has ever fucked? I have condoms I haven't touched in 6 months… they're still in my drawer. It doesn't mean I'm not being faithful to the person I'm sleeping with. Most condoms have an expiration date of like 2-3 years from the date of purchase. In 2 years she hasn't been having sex? Come on man, most women are fucking and we fuck a lot plain and simple I just find that section of your article a bit silly and counterproductive if you're attempting to tell people about the alarming amount of raw sex amongst young people.

    Totally reminded me though. I need to buy a new box. Only got like 3 left.

  • http://lovebootcamp.tumblr.com Gabrielle Heart

    <blockquote cite="comment-314439">

    thirtythoughts: Maybe to the woman carrying condoms in her purse, it doesn’t matter what “he” thinks. I wouldn’t know. But, no one wants to be considered a ho, whether she’s just looking to get hers or not.However, most people (not just men) are going to draw that conclusion about a woman who carries condoms in her purse because the only 2 reasons why she would need them WITH HER is if: 1) she has one night stands or 2) she has been known to get down in public.

    So, should a woman carry condoms in her purse? Sure, if she gets down like that, but she should know that there is a double standard and there always will be when it comes to sex. For a woman, carrying condoms in your purse is not a good look.

    You're 30… no man is assuming your a virgin. Don't delude yourself. Any responsible GROWN man isn't going to condem another grown adult on safe sex. That's shit that young boys do "Oh dog she had like 5000 condoms. She was a total slut but she gave great head." It's all bullshit. My dude knew the scoop and could tell that I wasn't a ho just because I was carrying a few condoms "just in case".

    It's not about whether you're carrying but it's in the way that you carry yourself. If you act trashy and nasty, people think you're a ho and if act like a classy woman they leave you be.

    If I had a $100 for every time a dude was SHOCKED at how I really am in bed verses how the world views me, I'd have much deeper pockets. Yes the double standard exists but you can make it work for you playing both sides of the same coin.

  • http://thirtythoughts.wordpress.com thirtythoughts

    <blockquote cite="comment-314447">

    Gabrielle Heart: You’re 30… no man is assuming your a virgin. Don’t delude yourself. Any responsible GROWN man isn’t going to condem another grown adult on safe sex. That’s shit that young boys do “Oh dog she had like 5000 condoms. She was a total slut but she gave great head.” It’s all bullshit. My dude knew the scoop and could tell that I wasn’t a ho just because I was carrying a few condoms “just in case”. It’s not about whether you’re carrying but it’s in the way that you carry yourself. If you act trashy and nasty, people think you’re a ho and if act like a classy woman they leave you be. If I had a $100 for every time a dude was SHOCKED at how I really am in bed verses how the world views me, I’d have much deeper pockets. Yes the double standard exists but you can make it work for you playing both sides of the same coin.

    I hate to bust your bubble, but "your dude" probably DOES think you're a ho, but he would never tell you that because he wants to continue to smash. Also, you're missing the point. If I was trying to appear untainted or wholesome then I wouldn't even condone women keeping condoms in their home, but I do.

    The bottom line is, frequenty engaging in sex with strangers says a lot about you, and is considered ho-ish behavior (whether you're a man or woman). Fortunate for you, some men don't care if their woman is or was sexually promiscuous, but the majority of them do.

    Besides, why else would anyone carry condoms "just in case" if they've never engaged in such behavior in the past and didn't hope to, or expect to in the future? That's like a man carrying viagra "just in case" he can't get it up…

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  • http://twitter.com/AlyssaMompoint @AlyssaMompoint

    Now, I don't necessarily think we should be carrying boxes and boxes around, no on really does that. But if you are going out on a date or out for that night, Yes woman should be carrying their own condoms too. We cannot rely on the guy anymore. Its important to carry it in a way that makes you feel comfortable (in your purse, care, makeup bag whatever) Bottomline: We all need to suck it up and buy and carry your own. I recently wrote an article about who should buy/carry the condom: http://blog.beforewedo.com/2013/04/carrying-your-