If you consider yourself an entrepreneur, it should be evident beyond the face to face conversation. There should be a website, business card, or something tangible that lets people know that you’re serious about what it is that you’re doing. But even now, that’s not enough. For Colored Girls When a Double Rainbow Isn’t Enuf.
I hate when I’m talkin’ to somebody and they’re going on and on about how they’re CEO of some ish, but when you look them up you can’t find anything that speaks to what it is they’re trying to do. Living in New York City, I see and hear it every day. The most common thing I come across is the rapper distributing CDs or passing out placards telling me to check out their poorly designed Myspace page. Really fam? You want me to type Myspace into my browser? What do you think this is? Diseasess are rampant in these e-streets. No thanks.
As someone that has a day gig but is trying to turn this writing stuff into a full-time job, I have to dish a mean side-eye to folks trying to pass off a half-assed hobby as their full-time employment. Damn I’m using a lot of hyphens. If you don’t have a job, then you don’t have a job. Just say you’re looking for work. The economy is rough and I understand. But don’t tell me you’re the boss of a business that doesn’t really exist or is serving as a filler on your resume to fill gaps of unemployment. I’ll tune you out and let Bronze Jesus taking the steering wheel on our conversation.
The thing is, I understand the hustle. I’m learning what it takes to get a business off the ground and how much time and energy goes into marketing yourself in hopes of becoming profitable. What I don’t understand is saying that you’re a “insert entrepreneurial profession** yet having nothing to show for it. I get tired of hearing that someone is a blogger, musician, or pre-paid legal services representative, but they don’t have anything else going on. If this raises an eyebrow for me, I can imagine what it does for women.
Everybody has a right to pursue whatever it is that they wanna pursue. If you wanna be a professional hair dresser, actor/actress, RAWSE 2.o, or caricature master, then cool. Be about your business and be able to speak about the steps you’ve taken. I just know that when it comes to me and a chick I’m potentially interested in, I wanna understand how they’re bringing in money. And if they’re not bringing in money, I wanna understand what their plan is and how they’re going to turn things around in the very near future. I’m fine being the breadwinner. I’m not fine with you sitting on the couch at mama house only getting gigs when someone asks you to sing at Juanita’s wedding. No bueno.
What about you? How do you feel when you meet someone who says they’re self-employed? Does it raise any red flags? At what point do you take the person seriously once it’s been deciphered that they’re “hustling” to make their dream become a reality?
Short Post But Above Average Height,
When I read the title of this post, I was prepared to disagree with you. But I'm happy to find that I am in complete and total agreeance. If you're not making enough money to support yourself at your hustle, please- don't misrepresent.
My family owns a a business, and has, my entire life. I LOVE what I do for our business, and wish I could do it full-time. But for now, since its a service-oriented business dependent on other people's prosperity, its the side-hustle.
It would be inappropriate for me to act like being COO of that businesses is all I do. Nawl shawty, I have a 9-5 that pays the bills, puts money in my 401(k), and helps support my high-maintenanceness.
As for a male who misrepresents himself? Three easy to peep. They're the club promoters of the world, who can comp you drinks in a shady club but look at you to pay the bill at Applebees. #illpass. Keeping it real, its extremely unlikely that a man my age is sufficiently self-employed to provide/build the life I want for myself and my future children. I'm on a mission to double-hustle before the kids and be self-employed once they arrive.
Good topic, Slim.
understand is saying that you’re a “insert entrepreneurial profession** yet having nothing to show for it. I get tired of hearing that someone is a blogger, musician, or pre-paid legal services representative, but they don’t have anything else going on."
I blame this on Rick Ross and every other rapper that made songs about being a Boss. Now all of a sudden everyone who works in the Mail Room is CEO of Shipping and Handling. :/ I love when people start their own business and don’t have to work the regular 9-5 but Come on SON, I ask you what your business is/does and you can’t even give me a proper Business plan on how you’re going to make the company legit how, you’re going to market it, hell who is your audience or target market. There's nothing wrong with having a dream just make sure you have a dose of reality and smarts to pay the rent and make the dream real.
(Side note: ppl kill me when they HAVE CEO in their twitter bio, but don’t even have the companies name after it or no link to the company’s website)
" I love when people start their own business and don’t have to work the regular 9-5 but Come on SON, I ask you what your business is/does and you can’t even give me a proper Business plan on how you’re going to make the company legit how, you’re going to market it, hell who is your audience or target market. There’s nothing wrong with having a dream just make sure you have a dose of reality and smarts to pay the rent and make the dream real."
Exactly! This is the same thing that I was alluding to last week with the "Stay in your Lane" post. I LOVE when people can work for themselves and own their own business… but if your business is just an idea and you're not bringing any real money in, what does it matter if you own your own business???
Seriously… when did going to work and bringing home a paycheck every two weeks so that you can pay your bills become something to be ashamed of? Its rediculous…
"Seriously… when did going to work and bringing home a paycheck every two weeks so that you can pay your bills become something to be ashamed of? Its ridiculous…"
Co-sign!
I was talking to my cousin about this just yesterday. She's been talking to some guy that she really likes but she's afraid he has "no ambition." Thing is, he has a good stable job. He's content with it and has told her he'd like to keep it and doesn't really need anything more. If he were the intercom person at mcdonalds I'd agree with her but his job is good. And she's talking about it like it's a dealbreaker. What's wrong with stability?
"What’s wrong with stability?"
Girl… NOTHING!
"Seriously… when did going to work and bringing home a paycheck every two weeks so that you can pay your bills become something to be ashamed of? Its ridiculous…"
I'd have to agree.
i've met a couple of self-employed entrepreneurs. i immediately question the validity of this especially if their said profession is the ceo of a record label, if they are a hairdresser or if they run a daycare service. its possible but its damn hard to run a business out of your home. you can't just watch your cousin's kids and say that you run a daycare service. that's not being an entrepreneur.
I too am fine with (in fact I prefer) being the breadwinner. This is probably why I'm still a single woman *shrug*
But to answer your questions, yes I get big red flags if he is self-employed. It brings up a whole list of questions that I don't have to think about if he is traditionally employed: What is your retirement plan? Do you have health insurance? Do you have life insurance? Do I need to random drug test you to make sure you don't have a substance abuse problem?
The content of this article took me by surprise. I was expecting to read about people going the entrepreneurial route being so invested in making things happen that relationships usually suffer. To me, that's a much bigger deal than people fronting like they are more than they are. As a matter of fact, most successful entrepreneurs that I dealt with HAVE to have a larger sense of self in order to aim high.
Saying I own my own company irritates the hell out of me. And technically they may indeed have a name and seek to produce some sort of capital, but $40-50/week isn't much of a company. I'd appreciate the word "business" instead, but more power to the entrepreneurs. At the end of the day, it's about what u actually produce and not what you say ur in the works of producing. I think there's a optimism there that affects one's psyche and therefore you get inflammatory statements, but at the end of the day they aren't making me any money, so whatever. I'm not going to eat their lunch for any failed projections they've made. Whether they actually made that dollar is all on them.
Ya know, I've been on dating websites and see "entrepreneur" listed as an occupation more than a little bit Usually when I see this I ruuuuuuuun in the other direction. I learn from my experiences, and one thing that they've taught me is that when dudes claim that their an entrepreneur it means they're either unemployed, a dope boy, the bathroom attendendant at the club but secretly wants to be the next diddy so they claim they're C.E.O. of their lable (happens a lot in ATL)… What happened to honesty? Contrary to popular belief, some women are still willing to work with you if you seem like you're trying to get it together (don't expect for us NOT to date the next nigga while you get it together but I digress) We are well aware that there's a recession and we know that decent people are getting laid off etc. Go ahead, hustle..hustle..hustle… HARD. I'm not materialistic, so as long as you're able to provide for yourself and maybe spring for a date or two on occasion, I'm cool. But the lies about what you do and HOW you're getting your money?? That's a no-no. Just be straight up.
This topic made me chuckle. I remember 1 day at the car wash, a guy gave me his business card and at the bottom, it said "poet" LMAO! Tis All.
Dead at "poet"
Still laughing because in my head I see exactly what the card looks like.
Word Red? Son tried to bag at the car-wash???
Come to LA Most… happens all the time. Hell, I witnessed/was victim just this past Sunday.
Good post. Granted I'm not dating but if I were i wouldn't be against a woman being self employed as long as it's a legit business venture. I met a young lady that was working on the website for a personal project. Never did she say she was a web designer, CEO, etc. She is in accounting.
I used to throw parties with a few friends of mine and we would rotate duties like DJing and the bar. If you ask me what I did I was a software engineer. Not a dang promoter
"I used to throw parties with a few friends of mine and we would rotate duties like DJing and the bar. If you ask me what I did I was a software engineer. Not a dang promoter"
lol… good for you.
The DJing was a side hustle… not your career.
I model and act in local commericals occasionally… I'm with an agency that gets me work periodically… but not enough for me to feel safe enough to quit my regular job. I do not have model listed as my job on my facebook page. If I don't make enough money modeling to quit my day job… then modeling is just a side hustle to me… not my career.
When people ask me what I do, I say I'm a personal assistant…lol.
Being self employed is not always a red flag for me. It really depends on how they represent themselves and their level of personal responsibility.
See… the thing is that not everybody that works for themselves is going to be a baller. I'm not concerned with the amount of money that you're bringing in, as long as you can pay your bills and your life style reflects your bank account. For real… if you're content with only bringing in $1,500.00 a month because you're actually doing something that makes you happy… then thats cool with me… as long as your lifestyle reflects one of someone who only makes $1,500.00 a month. If you're going around talking about being a boss… always trying to get a new car, always buying new clothes and at clubs blowing all your money on drinks like you're bringing in $10,000.00 a month… then I'm gonna have a problem with that because you're not being authentic.
But if you live within your means for the most part, make sure the bills that you do have are paid and have no problem finding another side hustle, or actually going out to get a 9-5 if you really need to, then I have no problem with that. I actually prefer to have a man who doesn't need a whole lot of material things to be happy and actually enjoys what they do for a living.
Also… it depends on what they do. I don't think I would want to date a club promoter… and nobody who's doing illegal activity, of course.
I realizing that I don't know a lot of people that love their jobs. I'm curious if most the dudes you meet/met are happy with what they do by day.
Hmmm… this struck a chord with me, because I actually love my 9-5.
I actually don't run into a lot people in general who love their jobs.
I mean… even with me, I appreciate my job, I love the people that I work with for the most part… but I wouldn't say that I LOVE the actual work that I do…
oh… and I do occasionally meet guys that really do enjoy what they do for a living, although most of the time they aren't making TONS of money doing what they love.
Most of the male teachers that I meet really do love what they do…even though they don't make a lot.
I love my job! If you don't love it, you should be trying to make a switch. I work way too hard to deal with something that I hate.
Eh… I get what you're saying, but its not always that simple. Until you find something that you love, bills still have to be paid in the meantime…
But I get what you're saying though. I've never stayed at a job that I absolutely hated. I don't hate the work that I do now… I just don't love it.
I don't know Slimuel, I am going to be honest…I do initially side-eye a brotha who is talking about self-employment…I immediately think, pharmaceuticals or some such….or at least back in the day I did..now, I just explore it a little futher instead of just assuming..but, if you are sincerely trying to get your entrepeneurish on I can't fault anyone for that……but, I will just try to asess how driven you really are towards your goal…because if I am looking to get serious with someone..I will be thinking in terms of how much you are able to earn while you are pursuing your goal..and I really believe that one should have another job in place until your business can get itself up off the ground floor and running….
Good topic and post. The mantra of "fake it till you make it" will always be live and well…for better or worse I suppose. It doesn't automatically throw up a red flag for me because I usually see through the b.s. right away. I'm more interested in how you're going to make what you're talking about a reality. Also, if we start dating then obviously you aren't able to hide behind whatever facade you put up initially about your employment or means of income. I always respect everyone's hustle, though.
"A closed mouth don't get fed and a lazy hustler don't get bread"
Be careful Larry, I've seen men and women drive themselves deeper and deeper into debt without their significant others knowing. People can keep up the facade while dating, when you're only seeing each other occasionally and you still keep separate spaces. The real truth starts to come out when you live together / marry, and both incomes are tied into something together.
Shareef makes a good point about folks keeping up the facade while dating and the truth not coming out til OD late in the game. That's why I think understanding how responsible someone is with their money is important upfront. Don't need to see their w2, but like it was said upthread, person should definitely be living within their means.
Agreed, one should be careful. In the spirit of open and honest communication one would hope the money talk would come along well before the marriage/living together, but some folk don't always think this way.
My pet peeve is people who just give themselves the title of CEO for no good reason. I know a organization that has THREE CEOs. Ummm I pretty sure one of them is a glorified assistant. And hearing them all say they are CEOs is hilarious to me.
You took the words out of my mouth..
Everytime some kneegrow calls him/herself CEO on a business card, a kitten drowns…in bleach.
What happened to titles like owner, principal,Founder, which makes more sense.
This post really amuses me….
Ya, my best friend and I constantly make fun of these so called Entrepreneurs and CEOs. If the guy does not have a regular job & its clear his business is not paying bills, feeding him etc. it is a major red flag.
Just adding the word "Aspiring" before the entrepreneurial job title (ex. Aspiring Blogger, Aspiring Business Owner, "Aspiring Actor/Actress", etc.) would make a world of difference, IMO.
And, whether or not they're really "Aspiring" should be easy to pick-up on. If they're always available by phone, always free to hang, never mentioning progess during conversations, it's just a hobby.
I'm all for a man on the come-up…for as long as he isn't asking me for a dang-on dime…and for as long as he can treat a sista during a date from time-to-time, lol. I won't even press him for excessive amounts of QT…cause I'm on the come-up myself…I've got my own "aspiring" going on…I'm busy too. But, he better be climbing with avengence! LOL…
A PR person once told me that people should be careful with how they use "aspiring." Like if your're already a writer, you can't be an aspiring writer because you're already what it is that you want to be.
I think that made sense. But yeah, that does make a big difference.
Def makes sense…and I def get the PR person's point…especially if it was an actual PR person that made it and not an aspiring PR person, lol. Can't poo-poo advice from professionals…
I guess, to me, I'm not a professional anything until my craft is validated by professionals and professionals are willing to pay me for it…and I say the latter cause people who don't know any better will buy anything, lol. Professionals seek out the best.
I really couldn't agree more with the content of this article. I find it hard to take any aspiring "businessman/woman" seriously if I'm: (1) being handed some type of gaudy unprofessional placard or, (2) being to directed some ill-maintained MySpace of Facebook page. I'm like this if you want to want to come off as a professional with a serious, reputable, & authentic business then make sure you have: (1) a business card, and (2) a LinkedIn profile. Both are fairly easy to get and can do wonders for your "business." Generally if I meet a woman who has her own business, I always try to find out if it something they are pursuing PT in addition to having a regular FT j-o-b. I don't think that it necessarily raises a red flag, but if that's the only thing they are doing then that can be a problem.
I'm not a dater but enough guys have come up to talk to me that I've heard this "I own my own business" bs more than a few times. A man that feels the need to tell women that he owns such and such nightclub and such and such car dealership within seconds of meeting them sends up all kinds of red flags. Why that information is relevant to me even after I've told you I'm happily married is beyond me but I digress. I mean, wouldn't your success speak for itself later on? Shouldn't a guy wait at least til you're on a date (if you're not married) to get into all of that (if it's true that is)?
" A man that feels the need to tell women that he owns such and such nightclub and such and such car dealership within seconds of meeting them sends up all kinds of red flags."
Yes!! I learned a life lesson 4 weeks ago, met this ole dude (60yrs old) *lol* yeah I know – don't judge me at the train station and he right off the bat told me how he owns 2 stores (one in LI and one in queens) yadda yadda yadda, but when came time to finally go out O.M.G "Ole Man Grady" was on some "Oh Princess, we have to use your car because my truck has merchandise in it and I don't like driving around town with said stuff in back" O__o. I canceled that evening and deleted his number and never looked back.
My friend-boy warned me that dude wasn't really about that life (Entrepreneurship) just off the fact how he was to eager to drop his BIO on me upon just meeting me. #You Live and You Learn.
Slim, This post was right on point. I can't even began to explain the fuckers who come at me with this lame a$$ I'm a this or I'm a that. Kick rocks with flip flops.
Self employment and owning your own is a beautiful thing especially when you're a corporate slave such as myself but anyone who is truly on their grind will let you know this hustle isn't for the light heart and lazy.
How do I know, because I did hair for a lil while getting my grind doing locs……*plug plug*
Any who, if you about your biz my follow up questions shouldn't make you uneasy. If I ask you a direct question and you hit me with a question in response to my question, I'm looking at you like you're a suspect. Red flags all over the damn place.
I agree with you Slim, if you on a come up I can dig that. I'm about supporting dreams into action….if you broke, I got a plate so you can eat but if you trying to misrepresent yourself to me I can't mess with you, not seriously or casually.you're a joke and my life is to real to mess with men (or take on new GF) who still live in the.clouds. Real Grinders are grounded…
What about you? How do you feel when you meet someone who says they’re self-employed? Does it raise any red flags? At what point do you take the person seriously once it’s been deciphered that they’re “hustling” to make their dream become a reality?
To be honest, and maybe it's because I'm a man, I really dont care what my girl does to keep herself entertained/employed during the day. As long as it doesnt involve spending up all my money, she can do whatever she wants.
For example, I dated a few "models" – yeah, those types – which was basically code for unemployed attractive women that are sometimes employed to take photos. Obviously, they didnt make that much money, because I wasnt dating Naomi Cambells, but it's like I told one girl, "As long as you're comfortable living within the parameters of the amount of money I make, I can care less what you do." Pursue your dreams. Hussle. Or sit around watching The Young and the Restless.
BUT, dont sit at home, not working, then complain about "we" dont make enough money. I'm going to look you in your face and suggest you get up off your [posterior end] and contribute to the household income. I prefer a woman that works because that makes life easier on everyone but I dont require it as a make or break deal.
"As long as it doesnt involve spending up all my money, she can do whatever she wants."
co-sign x 100.
I think what really gets me is the "network marketers" who call themselves business owners. I mean I'm not knocking your hustle but when you have people above you getting paid for what you bring in are your really an entrepreneur????
Small business owners have to start somewhere but saying you're the CEO of a 2 person company is a lie!
Off-Topic
What happened to the thumbs?
Had to dead that feature for the time being. It was causing havoc behind the scenes. We're looking for an alternative.
Havoc?!?!?
Prolly came out of that Name change debate and that first dumb azz comment. I liked the thumbs up, thumbs down, despite the # of thumbs down i've been getting as of late.
It's not broke, so don't fix it.
Awww. I like the thumbs. Sometimes I don't have time to leave a comment….
DeKeLa: "Everytime some kneegrow calls him/herself CEO on a business card, a kitten drowns…in bleach.
What happened to titles like owner, principal,Founder, which makes more sense."
1,000 times, this. This was my first thought reading this post. People like titles, and chief operating officer or chief executive officer sounds a lot better than owner. I'm sorry, if you own a barbershop, you aren't a CEO. If you just have a hustle, you definitely aren't a CEO.
krystllyght: "I was talking to my cousin about this just yesterday. She’s been talking to some guy that she really likes but she’s afraid he has “no ambition.” Thing is, he has a good stable job. He’s content with it and has told her he’d like to keep it and doesn’t really need anything more. If he were the intercom person at mcdonalds I’d agree with her but his job is good. And she’s talking about it like it’s a dealbreaker. What’s wrong with stability?"
Again, this is the title thing. Your cousin simply wants to tell her friends, "my man is a level 6 manager at ____". The thing is, a lot men in technical fields like doing what they do, and a promotion means they won't do the technical stuff anymore, they will be doing a lot of management. An engineer or programmer that enjoys engineering or programming knows when they become a manager, they'll be managing engineers, not doing engineering. Then the job becomes less atractive.
Since there isn't anymore Thumbs. I gotta say Hugh(ey P.) Jazz… I'm with you on this comment. Increase in responsibility does not equal increase in happiness..
Well… if it's someone I just met, I don't care. I would want to know what they do out of simple curiosity. If it's someone I'm dating (i.e. going out on dates with from time to time, not a relationship), then as long as their bills are paid then it's none of my business really. I'm not going to judge a person by their profession or lack there of. We are not our jobs (or careers?). If our money isn't mixing, then why does it matter?
I mostly only bring up my start-up if a person starts asking me about my dreams and what not since they are intertwined (or if they could be a potential connect). Off bat though, I don't throw it into people's faces. I have a 9-5 so that's sufficient for an intro conversation.
As someone self-employed, I'll say this though. Women probably SHOULD keep in mind that a guy self-employed will have (most if not all of) his disposable income AND/OR his time going to his business. So no. I don't do all those fancy-smancy (read: expensive) outings all the time. Nawl. That's just a poor investment especially when I just met you, i.e. I don't know you. I'm not going to compromise and push ish back I need/want for my business just so you can get something for free. I have a budget to follow and you're not that important… On the flip-side though, one has to be creative with their plans. Show her a good time without ODing on the 'trying to impress' foolishness. Be yourself and responsible.
I most definitely do not plan to spend the rest of my life working for someone else but I will not consider myself "self-employed" until whatever it is I'm doing is earning me enough to support my lifestyle.
That said, I'm all about following dreams and pursuing side-hustles right now. I wrote a post on my personal blog about how our generation, more than any other is all about making their side-hustles happen. We were the first generation that was raised to believe, in a fundamental way that we are each individually special and can grow up to be whatever we want to be. I love that about us. We will eventually change the world… as soon as we remember the "grow up part."
The thing that would be a red flag for me about folks who are self-employed is that a lot of self-employed folks are that way because they are looking for a short-cut. That's the bad part about our generation. Many of us are unwilling to put in the work and effort it takes to be the success we see ourselves as in our mind. We are at "A" with the goal being "Z" but are completely disinterested in experiencing bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwx and y.
"We are at “A” with the goal being “Z” but are completely disinterested in experiencing bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwx and y."
This is pretty much my thing with this. If you gonna follow a dream, do the work and aggressively go after it. That includes experience all those other letters of the alphabet. That's just the nature of the beast.
"I’m all about following dreams and pursuing side-hustles right now. I wrote a post on my personal blog about how our generation, more than any other is all about making their side-hustles happen."
Me too! I hope and pray that everybody gets every opportunity their hearts desire. I hate for people to get old and be resentful or regretful but how or when do you know just to let it go? I mean, when you're 39 it's just not cute to still be trying to be a rapper or model.
"We were the first generation that was raised to believe, in a fundamental way that we are each individually special and can grow up to be whatever we want to be."
I believe every person has something special about them too and has the potential to be extraordinary but what some fail to realize is that sometimes we're supposed to just be extraordinary parents or extraordinary employees. No shame in that. Hugh Jazz pointed out the title thing but is it also that people just don't like answering to anybody higher? Problems with authority?
I hear that alot and the thing about peole who say they dont want to answer to anybody, clearly never ran a business. And need to grow up a bit.
If anything, you are providing a service to a CUSTOMER, and now have to please and woo potential clients, who can shred you the pieces if they arent 102% satisfied.
At my regular hustle, I only have to do my job (50-70% of the time), meet deadlines, look busy and collect my check.
"I believe every person has something special about them too and has the potential to be extraordinary but what some fail to realize is that sometimes we’re supposed to just be extraordinary parents or extraordinary employees."
YES!!!!!!!!
Hmmm … if someone says they're an entrepreneur I want the run down … better yet if a person isn't GOOD to Phenomenal at the 30-Second pitch for their "business" it's suspect. I understand that people can be in varying stages of development but if you are then you have to say it, for example: I'm in the start-up stage of my business XYZ, Inc. (Then I'd understand an under developed business plan & pitch). Also, unless someone is incorporated with a board of directors then that person can miss me with the CEO/CFO/COO/CIO/etc titles. Further, if a person doesn't know the difference between a sole proprietorship, partnership, LLC, & Corporation he may as well stop talking to me about being a business owner cause that's business 101 day1 & practically the first thing you see on the sba web page.
Starting a business is hard, passing yourself off as a reputable business owner is harder & not everyone can do it.
Great topic!
I can feel this.
I disagree with this post, and it rubs me the wrong way altogether. i started my own production and film business in 2005. I didnt have a website, didnt have a office, didn't have a office phone or any physical business cards. as a matter of fact I contracted a creative director to design my business cards. Once she completed the job, i simply took the jpeg and saved it to my pic files. So when i encountered people who i wanted to network with, i simply told them i was passionate about the environment and didnt want another tree to die on account of my business cards (truth: wasn't in my budget to have printed)
I started a business with audacity, confidence and faith. And to that end I would introduce myself to potential clients as President and CEO. Its who I am. Even if the material manifestation was not evident I walked in faith as CEO. It is written "that whatsoever a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". And because i carried myself as a CEO of a full service production company, I got my first sub-production job for MTV's Sweet 16. they cut a check for the first series in which i had to use every dime for equipment, but it was my start. 6 years later Im closing a lucrative venture capital deal, I have two reality series being picked up and launching an online network. But it all started with me declaring what i was, before i got there. Faith is the substance of things HOPED for the EVIDENCE of things not seen.
Don't knock a man who saids he is CEO just because he doesnt have the tangible trappings thereof . Hear him out, Ask him about his vision and direction. You never know, you may find a opportunity that allows you to partner your skill sets with his. I worked in corporate for 4 years and after saving my company MM in cost reduction strategies only to be rewarded with a couple of thousand in my bonus check, i decide to invest my talents in my self and in an area of my passion. To those who want to start your own business, you cant have your energies divided. You can't ride two horses with one ass. There is nothing wrong with a steady check, but nothing is really ever steady. This is just my opinion based on my experience. Blessing to every 9-5 and entreprenuer.
"You can’t ride two horses with one ass." – Nice quote aka I'll be stealing that in the future.
This is an interesting point.
I think a lot of people, especially Gens X, Y and the millennials, are so jaded by all these fake hustlers and self-promoters of the world that we overlook the fact that, while in the minority, there are still real life success stories. I was actually just talking to Slim about this over on Twitter. People need to prioritize. Do you want to be decked out in the "long hair, red bottoms" or "stunna shades, watches and Jordans," going broke impressing a bunch of people that dont even know your name or do you want to pour yourself into your true passion?
Many of the "successful" companies most of us 9 to 5ers, self included, worked for started on the dream, vision, and self confidence of one or a few men/women who believed in themselves when I'm sure others doubted if not outright wished for their failure. Of course, you have to look at the self proclaimed "CEO" / entrepreneurs of the world with a skeptical eye because everyone and their mama seems to want to claim to be one these days, but at the same time, you cant dismiss everyone as illegitimate simply because they dont have the trappings of what YOU would define as "successful."
It reminds me of the story of one of the founders who bought his way out of Microsoft when it was a fledgling company because he wasnt sure it would work out. ….we see how that turned out. While you have to hedge your risks, at the same time, the greatest rewards tend to come from the greatest risk. Assuming you've got the heart for it. A lot of people continue to work the 9 to 5 because it's steady and safe, not because they get any type of satistfaction or happiness from it.
I used to bartend as my PT side hustle at a local Applebees. One night two men walked in and literally before sitting down, one "announced" how he'd just closed some major deal, written a check for $250,000 and had a fool-proof method of making anyone a millionaire. I tried eavesdropping, but no luck on hearing this "Rich Dad" scheme.
They each ordered an appetizer platter and some top shelf [well for Applebees anyway] tequila shots. When they were done, I promptly gave them the bill and that's when the "Ay, yo my man. I think you messed up on the bill here."
It took the both of them digging through lint lined pockets to pay a bill at a crappy family restaurant? But of course, this happened in the DMV and everyone's a "celebrity" on the come up out here…. SMDH
Wassup Eddie? Long time no see!
LOL, you know we love frontin' in the DMV. I used to work PT for Outback as a waitress, and the shenanigans I saw were high-larious.
*waves* Sorry, times have been rough on this plantation for a minute. [especially with all this damned heat]
I blame Jay-Z!
I blame Big Sean.
Hee hee… This is soo funny to me because I was once part of a "rapper's." record "label". I think I was "VP" or something or other. Wellll when I was unemployed and wandering the desert I just told people I was a writer. And they believed me – which taught me all you need to do is say things with confidence. Anywho. Now that I'm trying to really make a career out of writing, I was sharing with dude I'm talking to good news about the writing workshop I just attended, my website, etc. And he was all, "ohhh? You have a site? Oh. It's like you have a plan. I like that." Ummm… thanks for the stamp of approval? I guess that's the moment he decided to take me seriously.
For me it all comes down to passion.I have a friend who works little day jobs here and there to pay the bills, but she started and runs her own non profit where she supports African women who make and sell shea butter lotion. It's not just what she does, but it's who she is. And so she leads with that because she eats, breathes, lives it non stop. No sleep. Grinding. You can usually tell pretty quickly if this is someone's true passion/calling and if they have a plan to back it up or they just have delusions of grandeur… I'm cool on dating folks w/ delusions. Been there befo'.
I'm all for a man with an entrepreneurial spirit. If you have a passion, a dream you want to pursue, by all means, pursue it. So, its not necessarily a red flag for me. But, if I ask about your business, or what projects you're working on, you should be able to tell me clearly where this thing is going. I think its great that everyone wants to work for themselves, but untill you can actually live off the money you're bringing in, there's nothing wrong with saying you work for Cheatem & Howe, Attorneys at Law, or some other company, corporation, or gubment entity.
I had this funny feeling this was going to turn into a bunch of hate in the comments section today. I think I said in one of my posts a while back, "Telling people you hate your job gets old after a while if you'r'e not doing anything about it." Therefore, I believe in the side hustle. But as long as you consider it your side hustle, it will never be a legitimate thing in your life. Like right now, depending on where i'm at, I put on a different hat. So I may introduce myself as a writer, or as a consultant. Here's the thing though, have you guys noticed how much material I have on the internet and all the projects i'm into? Yeah, I put about 8 hours a day into that anyway, so it's really not a problem for me to say i'm a writer, when it tallies up to fulltime hours for me.
Now back in the day when me and my boys were throwing parties, I never listed myself as a promoter. I was always a working professional who was throwing a party for my people. Our model was very simple, we simply outgrew the house party and cookout and had to go somewhere else with our peoples.
I don't hate though on nobody hustle or how they want to define themselves. That's the whole Audre Lorde thing. And I do believe you have to be the change you wish to see, that's the whole Ghandi thing. Peep game though, Dame Dash was calling himself the CEO of Rocafella Records when they were just throwing parties in NYC. Look at what happened there. Ludacris was the CEO of DTP, when he was selling tapes out the back of his car. You never know.
Reward ambition, but if those are your peoples, ask uncomfortable questions like, "Where are you going with this? Have you set any goals that I can hold you accountable for?" After that, you can treat them same way you treat men who keep cheating on their girl… "You ain't got no second career!"
"Peep game though, Dame Dash was calling himself the CEO of Rocafella Records when they were just throwing parties in NYC.Look at what happened there. Ludacris was the CEO of DTP, when he was selling tapes out the back of his car. You never know."
I get what you're saying about the whole "fake it until you make it", speaking things into existence thing…. but bottom line, if Dame would have come up to me talking all this big stuff telling me he was CEO of Rockafella Records and then I later found out that there wasn't even a Rockfella Records in existence yet and that it was just an idea that he was working towards…I would have branded him a liar.
Like you said when you used yourself for an example… depending on the situation, you may introduce yourself as a writer… however you have TONS of stuff on the internet to back that claim up.
In fact, I think you probably hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that depending on where you're at, you may put on a different hat and introduce yourself in a different way. I think thats what makes the difference. I guess it makes some sense to embellish a little bit and introduce yourself as a certain title if you are networking with people within business enviornment… however if I meet a guy while I'm out who wants my number and he tells me that he's CEO of this and that but really… he's just working on an idea that he has that really hasn't gotten off the ground yet… I mean…why can't he just say that in the first place?
I end up being on the wrong side of this spectrum. Yes I am self employed and I am not where I want to be yet but I definitely make more than enough to support my lifestyle. I also do work a bottom end 9-5. People who know me through my business are surprised that I have a job. But I get health dental and 401k. I feel that it isn't fair if ladies wont give me time if I say im a valet at a restaurant and would run if I also tell them that im self employed. Smh.
Some ladies will run, but some won't depending on how you present the information. I think people who are worried about it need to treat it almost as a sales pitch to a potential investment partner. You will likely get a side-eye if you merely inform the other party that you own your own business/company in x field. If, however, you give a bit of background and provide some concrete examples of steps you've been taking and your progress til date, a quick dismissal is less likely. When you seem genuinely passionate and hardworking, and sound like you take yourself and your business seriously, people are more inclined to do the same.
I'm not going to lie to you, there are a good number of women whose noses will twitch at the thought of informing their friends that their current interest works a "bottom end 9-5" or is a "so-called entrepreneur". However, there are also more than a few women who are willing to give you a chance if you seem legitimate and able to hold your own.
I kinda agree with you, I personally would never date or maybe think twice about anybody who says they are a writer ( especially if it aint a major publication) and especially a blogger
What about you? How do you feel when you meet someone who says they’re self-employed? Does it raise any red flags? At what point do you take the person seriously once it’s been deciphered that they’re “hustling” to make their dream become a reality?
Oddly enough, I don't think I've ever really met anyone who's said that. However, I do have an ex who started up a venture while pursuing his post-graduate degree. In the past, I was never really worried about what anyone was doing, and although I've dated a fairly well-off guy, the others were more or less primarily
brokestudents. Now, because I'll be gauging long term potential, I'll be paying attention to job/career descriptions. I'm trying to get myself to a certain income bracket, so I would like someone who at the very least seems as though he has that same potential. If what I'm hearing sounds shaky at best, I'll have to pass. It's interesting, because although I want to say that I'll be willing to be with someone from the beginning of their journey & support them as they start things off the ground, I'd much rather they already be on the right path and have some visible signs of success. It doesn't have to be anything crazy; I just need something showing me that he's not headed towards a dead end.This is an interesting post- being that i fall on the other side of this. I am a full time blogger who has been able to generate income and pay my bills from what I do. This was not an easy road, and it took me 2 years hustling and barely making it to get there.
However, I did have a plan, my blog was first a hobby but things got real when I lost my job that had me relocate and was employed with for five years. once this happened, I took my education and my work experience to turn my blog into a brand and have run it as such. Funnily enough, when talking with people, especially those whom I have dated, I do not readily share what I do (I work for myself, in fashion is usually what I share). It took me about a year to openly and confidently share that yes, I am a blogger (I still have family who dont understand).
With those who I date…. Knowing how hard it is, the passion and drive required, and what legalities it takes to make things work, if someone was loosey goosey with being a CEO, my curiosity and nosy Virgo tendencies kick in to sniff out the bs. It is not a deal breaker for me, it is grounds though for a great conversation…
Okay I can take two points of this. Someone can be self employed and a CEO, problem is what are they CEO of? I can start a business this very second selling, I don't know, rubber bands. I can name myself CEO print business cards and the like and go around telling people I'm an executive. I think the whole self employed thing just depends on how successful you are. One thing I would also like to point out in my example is selling rubber bands can also be profitable look at the whole "silly bandz" thing.
Hey it all comes down to measure of success.