5 Things Men Need To Do To Keep Women Happy

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So a few weeks ago, I wrote an article on 5 things women need to do to keep men happy. We had some great participation, and some feelings were hurt. I received a few tweets, Facebook messages, and comments by some who were offended by the title or the notion that women NEED to do things to keep men happy. I say, drink a tall glass of Wake The F*** Up, and realize that this wasn’t another blog meant to demean women. This goes both ways [insert innuendo]. Men, you aren’t off the hook either! When you get a new car you wash it, detail it, and add your favorite accessories to enhance its value. You want the car to be in better condition than when you first bought it. That’s how you should treat a relationship. Men have a few things you need to do in order to keep a woman happy:

LISTEN *DJ Khaled Voice*

There’s a difference between hearing someone and actively listening. A woman will tell you all the details of her life, because it’s important for her to vent. She takes special interest in your life, so she will give you the raw detail of hers, so that you have the opportunity to immerse yourself in her world. Of course, she doesn’t always expect you to do that, but the fact that you don’t multitask (as much) when you listen to her or the fact that you can give constructive criticism or a viable opinion on her life issues will be appreciated. The fun in life is in the details, and she wants to have a LOT of fun. Indulge, because knowing her is important!

Know Her

This goes hand in hand with listening. It’s important for women (and I would think men too). They want you to know their likes and dislikes. Know the right things to say when she needs motivation, or consoling. She doesn’t want to feel like she’s told you everything about her, and you didn’t feel that it was necessary to retain the knowledge. I mean, women might expect us to remember EVERYTHING, but you should remember the little things, and the big things within an acceptable percentage. Don’t just aim for a 65 here!

Make love to her mind and body

Men are from Long Beach, and women are from Pomona. We are wired differently. Mentally stimulating a woman can be as beneficial and in most cases, more beneficial to men who want to please her. Women need to be in a certain state of mind, and be comfortable enough to release. She needs to let her mind  focus on achieving ultimate satisfaction, and men need to assist. Make her feel sexy. Show her your own intellect. Don’t be dull! Allow her mind to be the canvas, and paint a picture of ecstasy and enjoyment.

Women will say that a physical relationship isn’t as important, but this is a swindle. Part of being a balanced lover is being able to please her physically. Think about the NFL scoring drives that make it all the way to the red zone and loses a scoring opportunity due to a goal line turnover. Lay it down correctly. Be attentive and she’ll let you know where and what to do. If she says keep going, KEEP GOING!! Follow this rule and you’ll have a happier home.

Be a man!

Women need you to just be a man sometimes. Kill the bugs, take out the trash walk the dog. Take charge when necessary. Lead. Have a backbone. Don’t let her walk all over you. Be firm, be strong, be compassionate, be reliable, and above all else, be you! This might not be “politically correct” but when has that ever stopped us! It takes more than that to make a man, but these are some of the basic qualities a man should exhibit. It will do wonders in earning her respect and admiration. Plus, it’s only right!

Don’t tell women what they NEED to do!!

LOL… This was one of the funniest responses I got to the previous post. Nuff Said!

Ladies, what else can men do to keep you happy? Fellas, do you take exception to any of my suggestions?

All I want to do, is be happy *MJB Voice*

StreetZ

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  • http://twitter.com/FreshWithDepth @FreshWithDepth

    *Standing Ovation*

    I completely co-sign all of the above! The only addition I can possibly think of goes hand in hand with the first two points.

    Understand her communication style.

    Listening and comprehending are slightly different but mutually dependent. Aside from being able to recall all of your lady’s rants and verbal dissertations, it's important that you also understand her communication style. Speak your lady’s language- which means you have to listen to her and know her quirks. Understand what she means when she says things like "I need some space" (Show me that you're willing to make more effort) "We need to talk" (You f*cked up) or "I'm fine" (I'm upset but rather than just admit I'm upset, I'm going to sit here obviously upset and wait for the opportunity to explode on your behind when it's least expected and least convenient for you)

    Be able to decipher her non-verbal cues. Is she really about to storm out- or is she just waiting for me to show that I’m willing to chase her. Why does she bite her nails so much when I watch football on Sundays? What does it mean when she stands over by the trash and taps her foot incessantly? Now all women are not down with this type of double speak, and there are definitely plenty of women that are direct when we want to be. Understand when some women say, “I need some space” we really do just want to be left the hell alone. But just in case you’re dealing with the “rule” rather than the “exception,” being able to communicate effectively with your SO will take your relationship a long way.

    • chunk

      "But just in case you’re dealing with the “rule” rather than the “exception,” being able to communicate effectively with your SO will take your relationship a long way."

      I agree with this… adapt.
      My recent post Pondering Intensity

    • Streetz

      I totally agree and we spoke on this years ago, on why we need a man-woman rosetta stone, lol
      http://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/07/22/women-a
      My recent post 5 Machines to steer clear from at the gym! vol. 1

    • Up4Dsn

      I definitely believe that knowing a person's communication style is vital in any friendship or relationship. You have to know how to communicate with them and understand how they are communicating with you. It's the only way both individuals will be able to truly communicate successfully. I believe that understanding a person's communication style should come before any commitment is made. My reasoning behind that is the fact that some people just seem to be incapable of clearly communicating with certain types of people. It would be good to know what type of person you're dealing with before diving into a committed relationship with them.

      I feel the decipher non-verbal cues can be an issue…if people allow it to. It goes back to knowing the person you are dealing with. Some people don't want to take the time to know and understand how to decipher the meaning behind what someone is saying. If that's the case…that may not be the right person to be with. It all goes to show how important it is to truly get to know someone before entering into a relationship with them.

      You brought up some really great points. Thanks!
      My recent post Scratch My Back & I’ll Scratch Yours: Is Support an Even Exchange?

  • max

    I like it Streetzie.

    I would add validate her feelings. Some men have the tendency to be dismissive of things women worry about – as if whether it's okay to wear dark brown boots when she's carrying a black purse is not a problem of epic importance – and brush off her concerns as being trivial.

    It's nice when a man is interested in something he thinks is important, but it's even nicer when he's interested in something I think is important, even if the thinks it's insignificant.
    My recent post Stupid Bitch Moves

    • http://www.6monthsto30.wordpress.com chunk

      Cosign!

    • Cheekie

      "I would add validate her feelings. Some men have the tendency to be dismissive of things women worry about – as if whether it's okay to wear dark brown boots when she's carrying a black purse is not a problem of epic importance – and brush off her concerns as being trivial. "

      Mmhmm! And further, don't try to apply logic to feelings. Goes together like Ike and Tina. Feelings are called that for a reason… because they instrinctul… they are expressed without THOUGHT. Sometimes a chick just needs to express what she feels… we don't need a mathematical breakdown of why we shouldn't feel that way, Good Will Hunting. Give us a gottdayum hug.

      Fin.

      • Mr. SD

        "Sometimes a chick just needs to express what she feels… we don't need a mathematical breakdown of why we shouldn't feel that way,"

        This was a hard lesson for me to learn and I get it. However this only works if yall are not constantly "expressing" what the hell yall feel…because then it gets very annoying over time

        • chunk

          Yeah shouldn't be holding you hostage emotionally, eff that. Just like if you want him to call you can't talk his ear off every freakin phonecall! #balance
          My recent post Pondering Intensity

        • chunk

          Yeah shouldn't be holding you hostage emotionally, eff that. Just like if you want him to call you can't talk his ear off every freakin phonecall! #balance
          My recent post Pondering Intensity

        • Cheekie

          I feel ya there. I just meant the first time (which is usually when the feeling is at its most raw)… men don't react well to emotions period, regardless of how many times because they're more logic-based.

        • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          Yeah, quash that annoyance, and make the woman happy.

      • starita34

        "Give us a gottdayum hug. "
        http://bit.ly/uV24ks

        • Cheekie

          Star, your gifs are still >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
          :)

      • Streetz

        This was a tough lesson for me to learn also. Sometimes you have to let a woman feel what she feels, and mitigate that.
        My recent post 5 Machines to steer clear from at the gym! vol. 1

        • Cheekie

          Yessir.

      • TheTravelingType

        "we don't need a mathematical breakdown of why we shouldn't feel that way"Yes! Yes! Yes! Preach! About to make me catch the holy ghost. lol

    • ellie360

      +1
      My recent post Saying Goodbye

      • Vee

        Exactly. And when you get a guy who does that instinctively you know you've got a keeper :D.

    • krystllyght

      COSIGN

  • Jo-Hazardous-Burg

    I like this list, i think id just add on as Max says, protect her heart! Thats really important, validating her feelings and stand up for her in those moments that count.
    Being a man is very important, a strong powerful type of man would do me great, because i am a woman about my business and i will make you know exactly what i think and if you snooze you will find yourself leashed to my belt. I really believe that i am the best person to execute most tasks (he can take over cleaning and making the bed), for me being controlling is a way of life- so a MAN is someone who would trust enough to relax and share the reigns with. But never ever tell me what to do, even if i ask for advice- it must be a suggestion not a directive!

    • krystllyght

      I'll cosign that last sentence.

      • chunk

        LOL It's funny but I randomly sometimes just want the opposite of that last sentence…

        …sometimes I just want you to choose- to tell me exactly what the hell to do so I don't have to think about it anymore. Singlehood is all about making every single little decision all the dayum time and I find that exhausting. I wish some days someone could just say "look babe, just…" and I can do it and be free of it, lol!
        My recent post Pondering Intensity

        • Mr. SD

          .sometimes I just want you to choose- to tell me exactly what the hell to do so I don't have to think about it anymore.

          Im so good at that..lol its the Leo..i blame the Leo

        • chunk

          Yoooo my exhubby was a Leo, and he was good at that, that's what I meant by not liking this part of singlehood- I used to stress and he used to point shyt out so quick and simple, like do _this_, period. Now? I can be indecisive than a mofo and wish somebody could choose… sometimes it's simple stuff, like dinner. WTF?! lol
          My recent post Pondering Intensity

        • krystllyght

          Well when you say it like that then of course I'm cool with it especially if you see that I'm struggling with my indecision over something but I don't want to feel like I've been given orders to do something or like you think I'm a dummy who can't figure things out for myself. On top of that, I don't like feeling like you've got all the control, even though you probably really do, at least let me fake it like I have some too. That's just good manners.

        • chunk

          LOL @ "that's just good manners"
          My recent post Pondering Intensity

        • TheTravelingType

          "at least let me fake it like I have some too" <–This is me. who really runs it isn't as impt and who thinks they run it. And I like to to think I'm running shyt. lol

  • http://www.6monthsto30.wordpress.com chunk

    I’ll add:

    Defend me. (it doesn’t have to be physical- I’m referring directly to Slim’s post- but yeah then too!) but in general terms, defend me. Even if you don’t agree with everything I’m saying or doing, at least say something that doesn’t leave me feeling like I’m being attacked and you ain’t saying nuthin!

    Call. Just do it, please. I’m soooo sick of this e-communication life. I wanna hear your voice, even if it’s just to say goodnight before bed.

    The previous two, I consider universal, the following two are probably personal:

    Know (ie: listen and remember) the major players in my family. I talk to them all daily. They’re the ones I’m going to drop everything for. If you remember who they are it will save us some conversations about why I’m upset or sad or frustrated (or cannot keep from screaming in happiness for two hours on the phone, lol) because I’ll just be able to say “It’s JoJo” and you’ll know the backstory and understand the significance. Plus, these are the folks you want in your corner- they like you, you’re in and they will give me GOOD advice that usually benefits you.

    Avoid the phrase “you think too much” at all costs.

    • Starita34

      Love your additions!

    • ellie360

      Call. Just do it, please. I'm soooo sick of this e-communication life. I wanna hear your voice, even if it's just to say goodnight before bed.

      This sentence right here. Verbal communication is a lost art these days. When I'm getting to know you , hearing your voice and learning how you sound when you are speaking passionately about something etc…is so needed in order for me to feel like we are growing. Good one Chunk!
      My recent post Saying Goodbye

    • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

      Cosign, CALL! Without your voice, I’m.gonna lose interest.

    • Streetz

      All great additions!
      My recent post 5 Machines to steer clear from at the gym! vol. 1

    • Vee

      Defend me! Exactly! If I'm telling you about a fight I had with my sister/mom/dad, you need to be on MY corner, no matter what. Don't even try to explain it from their point of view, I'll just get mad at you regardless of how much sense you're making.

    • http://www.facebook.com/MajesticMe Rhea Newton

      Oh my God! CALLing is so important. It's impossible to sustain a relationship on e-mails, texts and bbms only.

    • Breebree

      Definitely Cosign on the calling chunk….call when your gonna be late and just to say "hey I'm thinking about you" or if your not coming straight home…..a phone call goes a long long way. Or at least a text.

  • MiMi

    I completely agree with this. Especially the second to last one. In this day and age of independent women and "all the single ladies, put your hands up" men forget that we need them to just puff up their chest and take charge in many situations. Yes, a relationship is a partnership, but in any partnership there are times when each person needs to lay down the law. If you fold on something big every time I get a little attitude about it, how are you going to act when s&@t hits the fan with an outside party? How are you gonna act in major situations and move through struggle? I have found that all of the items on the list here tend to go hand-in-hand: listening means knowing me as a person in in bed, knowing me and what I like and responding to that usually means you can stimulate my mind, and knowing me also means you know when to stand up and be a man.

  • Lori

    Pretty accurate! :)

    I agree with Chunk too. “Defend her” should be added. A lady wants to know her man has her back!

    • Starita34

      No doubt.

  • Naija

    Definitely a good list. Another thing that would make and keep me happy is random and/or constant little physical displays of affection. Circling my waist while we're standing around browsing an aisle in the grocery store. Pulling me in to rest my head on your frame when we're talking. Reaching out for my hand when we're out & about or just randomly hanging about the house (extra points for the kiss in the latter scenario). Pulling me over to sit on your lap when you want my attention. A light kiss on my forehead or cheek. These are things that make me smile at random through the course of my day.

    • Starita34

      *melts into a puddle of warm goo*

      #Pause

    • Muze

      *swoonage*

      i love those moments.
      My recent post Dear Blackberry… because I can’t call you.

      • cynicaloptmst81

        lol @ swoonage…

        But I'm with y'all on this one. These are def swoon-worthy moments…

    • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jermaine-spradley/a-millennial-manifesto-jobs_b_956053.html Most

      What about Dap? Like if you're telling a story I think is cool, or you've done something awesome and I wanna show some affection, does dapping you up count?

      • chunk

        Well…. since we saw the POTUS do it to FLOTUS…. how the hell can we say no? lmao.
        My recent post Pondering Intensity

      • krystllyght

        Yup.

      • Cheekie

        Couples dapping is SO cute. And yes the Obamas brought it to another level. I also think chest bumps are cute. See Derwin and Melanie.

      • Reecie

        I'm not really a dapper, but I dig a high five lol.
        My recent post I know that we don’t know each other well…

        • http://www.thelowerfrequency.com Most

          I appreciate a woman who knows the difference!

        • cynicaloptmst81

          Yeah, I'm with high fives, lol…

        • 48.

          Yes!! to high five(s) :D
          My recent post Lipstick Jungle

      • Breebree

        As long as yall don't fall off on the hugs and kisses Most…..*smile*

    • Cheekie

      YASSSSSSSSSS to all this. I appreciate those little things such as random affection far greater than the bigger displays. Big displays are nice, but as a detail-oriented chick, I appreciate the little things. Well, not ALL little things. *evil cackle*

    • Streetz

      Freak…

      lol nah this is official!
      My recent post 5 Machines to steer clear from at the gym! vol. 1

    • Up4Dsn

      Would you express this to your man or just expect him to 'know' this?

      I feel that many time men and women don't receive the things the want or need in a friendship or relationship is because they never verbally communicate it. I think it's time to dead all the expected mind-reading. Neither men or women are capable of reading minds. That's why it's so important that we began to share with our partners the things that we expect.
      My recent post Scratch My Back &amp; I’ll Scratch Yours: Is Support an Even Exchange?

      • cynicaloptmst81

        I think you should express it. But, not to the point that you give a play-by-play. The key to what Naija described is that its unsolicited, genuine ways of showing us that we're special to you. If we give you the play-by-play, it kinda takes away from it.

        I think the best way to express this (and other things you need along these lines) is to encourage it once your man does it on his own. "Babe, thank you. That made me feel special and loved. I need this from you. You should do it more often."

        • Up4Dsn

          Telling someone what you want them to do doesn't remove the element of surprise. So I don't think telling your partner what you want or need takes anything away from the relationship. I rather know what my woman wants and then take it upon myself to surprise her with what she wants when she least expects it.

          Encouragement helps, but I still think there needs to be a starting point. Men nor women are mind-readers. You know?
          My recent post Scratch My Back &amp; I’ll Scratch Yours: Is Support an Even Exchange?

      • SweetMack52

        I find that those things come naturally, if we both are feeling each other. Lets get rid of the mechanics.

    • Naija

      @ Most: Dapping me or your boys does not equate to showing affection, so no dice. lol. It's cool/funny, but y'ass ain't getting no points for that.

      @ Streetz: Hush..don't bait out my scene. =P

      @Up4Dsn: This is one of those things that I appreciate more when done organically, and some of the more public examples make even more of an impression when coming from someone who is not big on PDAs. I've never asked for it in the past, but then again, I wasn't vocal about a lot of things. Nowadays, it's the sort of thing that I would mention when we're discussing the things we like and appreciate in a relationship. I thrive on little moments of intimacy.

  • Jenny

    Good stuff. I’ll add this: Let her in & let her be there for you.

    Men often underestimate a woman’s need to feel needed, not just ‘wanted’. Let us be your friend. We want to get down and dirty and in the trenches when it comes to your emotions and decision-making. We know that shutting down might be easier for you and that you may be able to work it out in your mind. But, let us be your sounding board. That’s what we are here for.

    • Starita34

      OMG, whatever love language this represents, that’s mine! Yes! Let me in, let me help, share yourself with me. This is vital!!

    • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jermaine-spradley/a-millennial-manifesto-jobs_b_956053.html Most

      Great addition… generally speaking, I suck at this…

      • chunk

        Ahem, Most, see the whole "needed vs wanted" thing is here again…… how's that post coming along? *hee hee*
        My recent post Pondering Intensity

    • chunk

      "Men often underestimate a woman's need to feel needed, not just 'wanted'."

      I don't know whether I need to feel needed so much… I'm still working this out in my head and on paper…

      My recent post Pondering Intensity

      • GirlSixx

        I'm with you on this right here.

        I already know what it's like to feel needed – I got a child and 2 furbabies… I'm good on that!!

    • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

      Cosign on this, too, especially letting me in. I think that is my #1 thing. Above everything else. If you let me in and see your soft insides with no fear, I’m yours, everything else is secondary.

    • Vee

      Cosign. (And once you've let us in, please don't be embarrassed about it. Especially if I've already laid all my sorrows down for you and cried like a baby in front of you. It's only fair you do something similar. Crying is not mandatory :D.)

    • TheTravelingType

      Definitely, when I am dating a man I look to see where I would fit in or could help or possibly enhance things. If I cannot find my place I tend to lose interest.
      for example
      He need to eat horrible = so i can cook
      Forget stuff = so i can keep him together
      Buy a house but cant decorate = no prob! decorating queen
      Own a busines and is good at the mechanics of it = I am great at ambience and creating a rounded customer experience.
      I need him to have it together but not completely. If that makes sense.

  • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jermaine-spradley/a-millennial-manifesto-jobs_b_956053.html Most

    Two things I'll add to the list:

    1. Make sure she knows where she falls in your life.

    If a woman is your top priority in life… make her feel that way and let it be clear to her. This means her needs, wants, and desires should take precedence over just about everything (within reason). But if she is not your top priority, if you're just not at that point in your relationship, make that clear too. You don't have to tell her that she's not important to you, but there's nothing wrong with letting her know that something else, like your career, your personal finances, your mental state, or whatever it is – is the number one thing in your life right now. In the long run, she will appreciate the honesty.

    2. The most important thing you can do to keep a woman in your life happy is to keep your word. If you always do what you say you're going to do your woman will love you forever. Just do what you say you're going to do … it's that simple. Keeping your word on the littlest things – like making sure you're always there at the time you say you're going to be there will help solidify her trust that you'll keep your word on the bigger things like the stuff you say in your wedding vows. If a woman sees you as flaky or unreliable, that perception will seep its way into all the other areas of your relationship.

    • Starita34

      Man! Such great additions this morning! Your #2 is a winner! Spot on, be a man of your word, even if it’s as simple as saying “I’ll be home soon” instead of “I’ll be home in 10 minutes” and taking 30 minutes to get there. Your actions don’t even have to change, just your delivery.

    • GirlSixx is ChloeRayne516

      That #1 is BAWSE!!!!

      Key word here “Your Honesty” and fellas by doing this it will keep money in your pocket and maintain your sanity (no jazmine sullivans/no need to change cell #’s/no need for restraining orders, no slashed tires, threatening calls to your momma, etc.). Ya Feel Me??

    • Cheekie

      Love these additions. Number 1, especially, had me doing the holy ghost stomp.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      YES to #1! Yes, YES!!!

    • ellie360

      Most, This number 2 is so spot on. This is the smallest gesture, but it means so much when a man is true to what he says. One thing I absolutely can't stand for a man OR a woman to do is be a big talker. Always saying what they are GOING to do but not backing it up.
      Great additions!!
      My recent post Saying Goodbye

      • Vee

        Yup! If I ask you to do something and you don't want to do it, then say you're not going to. If you say you are and never do, I'm gonna be upset and pissed off for a long time.

    • chunk

      Amen.
      My recent post Pondering Intensity

    • http://twitter.com/RaveySayThaBaby @RaveySayThaBaby

      GREAT additions… and I love #2 A man that keeps his word is very special in my eyes

    • BP

      Oh Most, you so rock! A man that doesn’t keep his word is THEE worst…. Mrs. Most is a blessed woman!

    • Smilez_920

      Yes Most

      1) all women want at the end of the day is to know where we stand with you and if we should stay standing in that position. If a relationship is not one of your top priorities cool let me know so I can adjust my actions and feelings accordingly. This would cut out a lot of drama, headache and heart ache guys did this.

      2) Actions need to match words. If your actions don't match your words even on the little things we will start think the relationship is shaky especially when we see you put effort into keeping your word with others (your friends) and not us.

    • Streetz

      That #2 though.

      I learned early that your word is definitely bond. Being a man of your world is important and definitely defines your integrity.
      My recent post 5 Machines to steer clear from at the gym! vol. 1

    • TellyLongLegs

      Most, your number 2 makes me think of that New Yorkers saying "Word is bond". I knew this one guy who would say he believed in something one day, contradict himself the next day and then get upset with me when I called him out on it. PISSED ME OFF EVERY TIME. It came to the point where I had to ask him the same questions at least 5 different times in different ways to make sure he kept his word.

      Great additions.

    • Breebree

      Most those 2 are highly important. Particularly number 2.

    • TheTravelingType

      #2!!!!! Omg! Yes! The ex I think most fondly of is the one that never and I mean never broke his word. If he said he would do smtg it was as good as done. And that is so hard to find!!!! D*mn I miss that……

    • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

      #2 is everything to me! EVERYTHING. I cannot stand unreliable people. please please please be a man of your word.
      My recent post I know that we don’t know each other well…

    • Naija

      Both of these are key. KEY, I tell you.

  • mobile Dr. J

    Wait until I get to work. Big bro brought a gem to the front door.

  • http://www.divinepearlz.wordpress.com Divine Pearlz

    And there you have it men. It's actually quite simple. Great post.
    My recent post Terms Defined

  • http://www.divinepearlz.wordpress.com Divine Pearlz

    And there you have it men. It's actually quite simple. Great post.
    My recent post Terms Defined

  • http://twitter.com/RaveySayThaBaby @RaveySayThaBaby

    GREAT additions… and I love #2 A man that keeps his word is very special in my eyes

  • cynicaloptmst81

    Loved the post…and loved the additions in the comments.

    My guy would need to modify that last one…"Know when and how to tell me what I need to do" (and not as some weak suggestion either). Do it wrong at the wrong time, and you'll get shanked, lol. Do it right at the right time, and you'll earn my respect, my trust, and turn a sista all the way on, lol.

    The only thing I can think to add is "Zip it…then, flip it", lol…oh, and "At the very least, offer to help her with whatever she's doing".

    • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

      Yep, yep, well said.

  • Breebree

    I'm pretty much agree with what most every woman says because I'm a woman, and universally we all want the same fundamental things to be happy and satisfied in relationships (somewhat like men).
    I am a woman that defends men because many times they are the "underdogs" in love and relationships and get clumped into the same "all men are dogs" and/or "all men are stupid and childish" categories when this is not so. I've been blessed to know and have loved some wonderful men in my lifetime.
    So in defense of men I'll say to the fella's this: most every woman is a little "crazy and deranged" and even if not regularly crazy we all have crazy PMS moments and/or crazy and deranged tendencies." Lets be real ladies we all have em. So it's not always "You" fella's. But unfortunately it is what it is and there isn't much you can do about womens PMS Craziness.
    During those "it's just one of dem days" moments just do like Monica said and "Don't Take It Personal."
    Nod, agree, be silent, if you respond simply say "I'll do my best to understand", "I'm here for you," and "I love you." "Right now even though I can't solve all your problems and erase your pain what I will do is: support you, be here for you and love the hurt away. Then open up your arms and embrace her and hold her while she cries, sighs, talks, lays, or whatever and keep holding until it's enough.
    Listen to the words to some Eric Benet, Kenny Lattimore, O'Jays, Gerald Levert, Musiq SoulChild and Luther Vandross songs. Much of those songs epitomize exactly what women want and how they want it.

    • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

      I was gonna LOL, when I read men are the underdog. Then I thought about it, and they really are. As much fronting and bs as they do, its really just a cover up for a mountain of fears that women dont have to deal with. They have all these things they have to avoid doing so they wont be seen as less of a man. They get all emotionally congested and scared of letting anything out. Plus they have this big unweildy sex drive that’s so hard to control. Needing some so bad and not being able to get it? I cant imagine what kind of torture that would be. So Ill be sympathetic. For the next ten minutes.

  • Mr. SD

    It all comes down to one word and one word only. " Security"

    Financially
    Emotionally
    Physically
    and everything else that ends in …ally!

    Women need to feel secure in a relationship. They need to know we got them no matter what. Its really that simple.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      Going for yet another victory lap, huh?! (referring to Most's last comment on yesterday's post)

      LMBO!

      • Mr. SD

        lol nah i didn't know Most put that out there….its true tho…security is all yall really need..and the rest would be to just sit there and listen to yall babble when yall feel like babblin..lol

        • Girlsixx

          This Dude gets it!!!

          SD is going for an encore I see.

          Cosign!!!!!

        • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          Don’t call it babbling and you will have a perfect set. Add respect to the mix.

        • cynicaloptmst81

          I said the same thing to myself about the word "babbling", lol…

          Took the comment from 100% to a 98%…lol

        • Mr. SD

          my bad…but when guys talk to each other that's what we call it..lol

    • chunk

      I like it. So simple.
      My recent post Pondering Intensity

    • TellyLongLegs

      "Women need to feel secure in a relationship. They need to know we got them no matter what. Its really that simple. "

      Security is VERY important.

  • http://twitter.com/MikasThoughts @MikasThoughts

    Be consistent.

    • Mr. SD

      Until yall nag and say "we always do they same thiiiing" waaaaaaaaa….be spontaneous waaaaaaaaaaaa..lol

      • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

        Sounds like you need more lessons, grasshopper.

        • Mr. SD

          My point is you never ever will truly "keep" a woman happy. You ladies will always pop up with some new complaint. And im not even saying thats a bad thing because every great team should have a manager..lol women typically manage the relationship..its up to us me to understand consistency is great but it can become mundane in some area's. Thank God for managers!..lol

        • Smilez_920

          Consistency is key. Just be consistent with putting effort into the relationship so it can grown. How you do it can change and will change with age/time (as long as its positive) but the sentiment should stay consistent.

  • Hugh Jazz

    Good list Streetz. One thing that has served me well is:

    Surprise her: Every once and a while, do something you don't normally do that shows you care. Bring a dozen roses when you're just going to her place to watch a movie. Send a card to her job. Take her out to a nice dinner on a Tuesday just because it's October 23rd or some other random day. She'll appreciate the gesture, and it ties into number 3 on Streetz's list.

    • GirlSixx

      Yep!!!! This fits right up there with being spontaneous..

    • TellyLongLegs

      YES Hugh!!!!

    • Streetz

      Surprise her is so key! An absolute GEM! Good isht Hugh!
      My recent post 5 Machines to steer clear from at the gym! vol. 1

    • TheTravelingType

      Man I am co-signing everything today! hehe But when I read this I thought about when I came home one day and had 2 dozen roses waiting for me. Just because…..deg why did I break up with him again???

    • SayWhat

      Love this! 25 years and have never been surprised with anything….smh….maybe one day….

    • Naija

      Yep, this is pretty sweet.

  • Hugh Jazz

    Am I the only person that read "Know Her", and immediately thought of "knowing her" in the Biblical sense? Am I?

    (hangs head in shame)

  • teannhny

    Great post…and great additions!

  • BP

    “Men are from Long Beach, and women are from Pomona. We are wired differently. Mentally stimulating a woman can be as beneficial and in most cases, more beneficial to men who want to please her. Women need to be in a certain state of mind, and be comfortable enough to release.”

    ALL.OF.THIS. A man has to stimulate my other senses in order to make me feel comfortable enough to want to take it there. Being smart is sexy. Btw, you get MAD cool points for throwing Long Beach and Pomona into the mix! #RepLongBeach Great post Streetz!

  • http://naturallydreaded.wordpress.com NIAnaturally

    Nice post, Streetz! I nissed the one last week, so I’ll have to catch up later.

    I co-sign all of this, and most of what the women and men before me have posted.

    If you want to keep me happy, Keep your word #soIknowitsreal. If I can’t trust you, we can’t even be friends after I break-up with you. And don’t even think about calling me from Marvin’s room.

  • Breebree

    My other comment and possibly last since I got a busy day today is this:
    Love is a "two-way street." For the life of me I can't understand whats so hard about giving your s/o what they want, how they want it.
    Many times folks make too many excuses like; that's not me, that's not how I roll, I wasn't raised like that, I don't do that, this is me, take it or leave it, I'm not tryna look like a punk etc etc etc.
    Fella's if a few times in a month your lady wants you to go shopping with her it's not gonna kill you to go. While your there shop for yourself too so then you get something out of it.
    As long as it's not excessive to the point where you wanna fake death anytime you think she's gonna ask you whats the big deal?.
    I think most folks can pretty clearly articulate what they want and how they want it. The problem I see more than anything is, whether you say it or not, one or both people aren't getting what they want and need in the relationship to be happy. That is a problem of being selfish and all about you and your needs and wants and not the other persons.
    If you love someone as much as you "say you do" then you will do whatever you have to do to make and keep them happy, even if it's stuff that you don't necessarily like to do sometimes.
    Men suck some stuff up and just do it, even if it's not "your thing". You may not like Tyler Perry plays but if you know your lady likes them take her once in a while. If she likes the opera take her sometimes. Watch Lifetime with her sometimes. Go see the "girly movies" with her sometimes. Take her dancing sometimes. Get her flowers and do nice things for her on any given day, not just always special occassions. Plus if you do that she may be less inclined to expect big things on b-days and Valentine's Day. Set the mood and romance her sometimes. We love romance and affection. Find out what she likes and whats romantic to her and do it.
    I've told my guy friends this; basically women want to "feel" special and "feel" like they are the Only One and "Thee One" (whether we are or not, we want to feel like we are all the time).
    Also imo since the beginning of time and even in the animal kingdom to some degree the males 2 main roles in the relationship are: Protector and Provider. So men if your consistent with those 2 things and do them well ,then you should be really good.
    If folks had more of an unselfish and giving attitude and nature and didn't always give to receive, then relationships would be much more loving and happy.

  • Breebree

    Streetz your list is a damn good start to a mutually satisfying and loving relationship. Mad Props.

  • chunk

    OMG. I agree with you. *looks up to see if the clouds are getting closer*

    Excellent addition Hugh!
    My recent post Pondering Intensity

    • Hugh Jazz

      That, and with the debt burden threatening the global economy, we can be sure the apocalypse is nigh!

  • chunk

    In the words of Cheekie:

    "Give us a gottdayum hug. Fin."

    MANE. WORD LIFE.
    My recent post Pondering Intensity

  • http://www.twitter.com/muzeness Muze

    love this post. knowing her is crucial in any romantic situation.

    i'd add make her feel safe and protected, which is a result of building trust. Most's additions as well as Jenny's are spot on.

    • http://www.twitter.com/muzeness Muze

      oh, and i love the "This Week On SBM" addition. i keep wanting to click on "You don't need Jordans, bro." lol. good job.

      • cynicaloptmst81

        I love it too!

        And I actually tried clicking on it, LOL…

  • Mr. SD

    Sidenote: Fellas make sure ya wifee has a good female friend or at minimal a gay dude close by for long conversations…it will come in handy during the playoffs!

    • krystllyght

      You done slid off Mr. SD….. lol

      • Mr. SD

        I believe every woman needs another woman to relate to in regards to her feelings/emotions. Thats the truth Kryst, right?

        • krystllyght

          It is but not so they can sub for you. Man, it ain't the same!

        • Mr. SD

          Right but after yall get all the emotional mush out the way you come ova to big daddi an i makes it all betta!..lol

    • Vee

      Except if you're lucky enough to wife someone who watches sports more than you do.

      • Mr. SD

        Now we talkin!

  • GirlSixx

    Another thing I would like to add:

    Fellas, knowing your way around the kitchen (read; good cook) besides just knowing how to open/close the fridge door and cupboards would definitely keep a smile on a woman's face.

    I always found that to be an extremely se.xy quality in a man that knows how to throw down on the stove it's nice when you come home from work and open the door to the aroma of something delicious in the air.

    That's a form of foreplay for me, because I already know how I intend to end that night after that.

    • chunk

      I'm torn on this one… I'm so picky… he'd have to really know how to cook, lol. Plus… I'm pretty territorial about the kitchen…. until it's time to do the dishes or take out the trash. But if he's gonna do it to be thoughtful, I'll appreciate it- just do something simple… tuna sandwiches or something… or buy dinner and have it ready and waiting when I walk in = satisfied.

      My ex couldn't cook… and once when he tried he literally almost burnt the dayum house down, like seriously, I had to say "OMG hang up and call 911." And of course, just like a gurl (or maybe it's just me) I wasn't thinking "awww that's so sweet he's trying to cook for me" I was thinking "you _know_ you caint cook, so of ALLLL the things to fix, why try to fry chicken?! Hot grease my ninjah?!" But I didn't say that though, lol.

      My recent post Pondering Intensity

    • chunk

      I'm torn on this one… I'm so picky… he'd have to really know how to cook, lol. Plus… I'm pretty territorial about the kitchen…. until it's time to do the dishes or take out the trash. But if he's gonna do it to be thoughtful, I'll appreciate it- just do something simple… tuna sandwiches or something… or buy dinner and have it ready and waiting when I walk in = satisfied.

      My ex couldn't cook… and once when he tried he literally almost burnt the dayum house down, like seriously, I had to say "OMG hang up and call 911." And of course, just like a gurl (or maybe it's just me) I wasn't thinking "awww that's so sweet he's trying to cook for me" I was thinking "you _know_ you caint cook, so of ALLLL the things to fix, why try to fry chicken?! Hot grease my ninjah?!" But I didn't say that though, lol.

      My recent post Pondering Intensity

  • krystllyght

    ha ha It's okay Hugh. We still love you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/msfemmefatale82 Mika

    Very good post, I can't even add anything, everything I was thinking has already been said.

    Hmmm…once in a while, be unpredictable and exciting, step out of character. I know with men that I tend to date, eventually it becomes predictable and boring. Keep me guessing.
    Even its something like "Meet me at my place with nothing but a trench coat on 8, I have something special planned for us tonight", its simple but it gets the job done, and I'd be there at 7:59 with that trench coat.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    This certainly is an interesting contrast to the previous post. Both the post and the comments.

  • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

    Busy day. I'd like to add the following:

    If you want to keep a woman happy don't do everything she asks you to do. That would make you perfect and if you were the perfect man a woman wouldn't know what to do with herself.

    *exits*

    My recent post A One Woman Man

    • chunk

      Sigh. Only you, WIS, only you.
      My recent post Pondering Intensity

      • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

        #HatersGonnaHate.

        I'm basically saying don't be a "yes" man. I haven't met a woman yet who honestly wants a man to answer "yes" to everything she says to do or asks of a man. Besides, and I love women as much as the next man, I also haven't met a woman who couldn't come up with something else she wants her man to do. It's sort of like your boss at work. Even if there is really nothing to do, if you tell him/her you're not busy, they will find something for you to do. Such is the nature of women…beautiful creatures that you all are, of course.

        My recent post Guest Blog: You Can’t Write This Stuff

        • chunk

          LOL I'm not hating- you're consistent, sometimes that's all one can ask for, lol.

          And you're right….. *whispers*: I need to hear no sometimes……

          It makes my panties wet. Oops! I mean, it builds character. O_o.
          My recent post Pondering Intensity

  • urbanplushproject

    Love yourself. There is nothing more difficult than loving a man who doesn't love himself. This is often a difficult thing to master. But loving your strengths as well as your flaws as a man helps you to love hers as well. Be who you are…there's no need to reiterate how "different" you are from other men..that goes without saying..you are, after all, an individual. There is nothing sexier than a quiet confidence.

  • urbanplushproject

    Oh and don't be afraid to venture outside of your comfort zones…emotionally…or otherwise. Love is about vulnerability (not being a doormat)…if you're not in a position to be vulnerable then you're certainly in no position to experience any form of authentic intimacy.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      Say this one again for the fella's hiding in the back who tried hard not to hear you…

      LMBO…

  • David Stern

    It sounds like all these suggestions are saying men need to be BUTCH LESBIANS or EFFEMINATE MALES to make a woman happy. I'm pretty sure all you women agree and quite frankly, if that's your thinking you fundamentally don't understand that men and women are to complement each and not be the same.

    Don't get me wrong, it just seems this top 5 is totally incongruent with the Top 5 you had for women to make men happy on many levels. http://www.singleblackmale.org/2011/11/07/5-thing

    I just say be yourself and let life play itself out. You'll eventually find the one you make happy and vice versa.

  • http://theworldoftiffany.wordpress.com Tiffany

    I love Be a Man!!!! A woman should feel protected and shielded in her relationship. Another factor that I did not realize I cared about until my present relationship- establish relationships w/ my family and friends. That is great.

    • http://twitter.com/candaceblaker @candaceblaker

      …………

  • alexis William's

    I love this one women should already know that men come and go but also men need to know that women have a special thing and some wherein their heart where the belong