By now, anyone who wanted to see it, has seen it. Kobe and Vanessa Bryant were spotted kissing after the Lakers defeated the Toronto Raptors on Valentine’s Day. Vanessa was looking beautiful as usual, and Kobe seemed to be back to his traditional game-ending kiss with his wife.
Wait a minute, what? Yes, that’s right, it appears that Kobe and Vanessa are working it out and trying to save their marriage. If you’ve been living under a rock and the last you heard they were getting divorced and Vanessa got $150Ms out of him, check out the story here. I even heard a rumor that she hasn’t even signed the paperwork to finalize the settlement.
Insert hate.
Let’s be honest 90% of the Free World hates Kobe Bean Bryant. They don’t want him to get anything in life. They hate Jordan comparisons, they hate his championships, he’s a snitch, he’s a rapist, he’s an adulterer, he’s a jerk, he’s just about anything you can find wrong about a man, people will attribute that to Kobe. Excuse me, I forgot, he also can’t fight.
However, in the midst of all the words of encouragement for Vanessa that were poured out and all the hatred and disgust that was poured out on Kobe, likely to comfort Vanessa, we never factored in that she might be able to still save her marriage with Kobe, who is also the father of her two small children. You see society has this way about themselves that they actually love to put their foot in their mouth. I’ve seen this happen so many times that I tell people they should watch what they say because you never know how the situation is going to pan out. Because you might tell your homegirl that her child’s father was a no good sucker who wasn’t about sh*t, but then she decides to work it out and now her self-esteem is on zilch because you basically had the Passion of Her Baby Daddy in your last phone call.
I would point to two things that are the reason why this always happens; first, because society insists on cheering against happiness and second, because most of us just don’t know how to be happy. People are always fascinated with scandal. We watch a divorce settlement everyday on our TMZ reader, but when someone gets married we probably won’t even look at the pictures. You know everything there is to know about Kobe’s divorce from Vanessa, let me ask you this, what were the colors in Lamar and Khloe’s wedding? They say misery loves company and that’s what we cheer for, another person on the team. Much respect to that woman who when she gets the call tells her homegirl, “Girl, I hope you haven’t told everybody, but let me share with you my story and how I wish I had blabbered my mouth to you guys and tried to work it out with Tyrone.”
The other thing is people don’t know how to be happy. I’m sure we’ve all dated someone who it seemed like what was going on in their life was a first. It’s that girl who has a good man but she ruins it by thinking things like, “No man wants a girl who isn’t a little crazy.” It’s that girl who no matter the fact that she lives with her boyfriend, sleeps with him every night and he tells her four or five times a day that he loves, despite all of that, she still snoops through his phone and wants to know his whereabouts at all times. They just don’t know how to be happy.
What we’ve got to think about here today is our reaction to when couples decide to reconcile. More than that, maybe you’ve gotten to the point in life that you conclude that you have lost all faith in the world being a “nice” place. So he cheated, you know what we all know, that he did it before and they made it through it. Fact of the matter is, only Vanessa and Kobe know what Vanessa and Kobe … Gianna … and Natalia can make it through. Truth be told, Kobe always knew, his first comments about the divorce was that he was determined to work to save his marriage. In fact, Kobe’s always had a way about going out and achieving his goals in a way that’s out of this world, makes you wonder about that sixth chip, he’s done everything else he’s set his mind to.
And then you have those other people, who no matter how great of a guy Kobe could be, or great of a father he could be, they just want him dead. Smh… nothing we can do about that. Thank God It’s Friday!
What are you thoughts on Vanessa and Kobe getting back together? Do you think this means they are back together, or just trying to work it out? Also, do you think society gives love a chance? Do you think we’re pessimistic to the point of not being able to be a cheerleader for love? I’m interested to hear your thoughts.
I don’t feel one way or another about them getting back together. Better yet I should say, I don’t care much past interest to see what happens. Getting back together is not a decision I would advice if she were my sister/cousin/family. Not after all the alleged and confirmed cheating but at the end of the day it’s their life and she is gonna do what she feels is right in her heart.
Society definitely isn’t a cheerleader for love/happiness. Sadly, in our society nothing is more entertaining then watching someone who seems to be on top of the world come disgracefully tumbling down the mountain. Drama, strife, hardship drive our society. You want a good tv show? Create one packed with those 3 things and all the world will rush to tune in.
Agreed. Also, I'm not surprised they are reuniting. After all, they've been together since they were fairly young.
Couldn’t agree more…
I mean they had never really dated other people before getting married at a very young age and Kobe's love is all she knows. The idea of her having to go out there and date other people and eventually having to get her kids involved with whoever said guy(s) may be probably seemed daunting to her. I really don't blame her though. You always go back to who you are comfortable with…
Either way, I hope they (Vanessa, Kobe and the girls) are happy with whatever the final decision may be. Wish them the best of luck.
I almost always vote for forgiveness and reconciliation (except in certain circumstances). It seemed that she had already tried that though but things still lead to the divorce. If they want to make it work, I hope it does. I just hope they don't yo yo too much with the kids' lives.
Dr. J I'm surprised you didn't point out the "cheaper to keep her" possibility on Kobe's end. I know this is something that happens often with just regular folks. So it's definitely a possibility that after careful thought and consideration Kobe thought it would be better financially for him to try to reconcile and act like he is going to act right and simply get better at hiding his dirt when he is on the road.
Honestly that was my first thought after seeing and hearing about this possible reconciliation.
Kobe and Nessa: if she's willing to work it out I wish them the best. The controversy seemed to stem from a whole bunch of angry dudes and their yes-women over the amount that Vanessa was going to get, calling her all kinds of gold-diggers and such. Seemed like the only one not sweating the amount or crying about, "she wasn't with me at practice" was Kobe.
IRL, people are nicer than you give them credit for. The ones who are the most miserable in their relationships don't know how to let go of toxic people. They got to have all kinds of drama, cry about how horrible their man is to everybody, then run back to him and say, "it's just me and you against the world baby." Then want their friends to clap and cheer because they got back with the dude who cheats, had a baby outside the relationship or some other such nonsense. No ma'am. Perfect example is Emily from Hip Hop "Wives".
It is interestig to me that society isn’t concerned with happiness and live, but even more so when it is people in your immediate circle. I think the babies may be a motivating factor in this, but the main thing is she loves him-in spite of- That move, especially on Valentine’s Day has a calculating twist to it. Maybe the idea that he was “single” messed with her head.
I have no emotional connection to Kobe's & Vanessa's love affairs. I'm never an advocate for divorce, so if they can fix it, FIX IT. Personally, I'm a hopeless romantic to a fault. I love, love. I love to see happy endings, but unfortunately, that's not always life. Except for two, all of my college friends are now engaged or married. I couldn't be further from bitter than I am now. I'm extremely happy for all of them. They are doing their "life things" right now, and that's their life thing at the moment. Mine is solidfying my career. Unfortunately, pretty much everything you wrote is absolutely the rule.
Eh, *shrug*
Bottom line is this if Vanessa chooses to take him back then SO BE IT, because she isn't the 1st wife to take her husband back after infidelity and i am certain she won't be the last, and if LOVE is still there on both their parts then I guess they owe it to each other to see if they can make it work. Although I wouldn't advise it.
Better Her Than Me Though because I'm just not built for all of that.
Hmmm I'm all for reconciliation…never really like to see a relationship end…with or without children. However, If I am in a relationship with a person that continually undermines me, I will opt to leave with my integrity to self in tact. I don't know much about their situation…who does really? Wish them the best though.
I agree. Isn't a man's love for a woman tied to his respect for her as well? I can understand going back to the only one you've been with, but i don't know, it would be so hard to reconcile without wondering if he's doing it because he finally saw the light or because he just wants to save face.
I thought I would be going against "Girl Code" by saying this, but I see the ladies above agree with me. I'm #TeamLove. Especially in cases where we don't know the whole story. I suppose one can never know the whole story if they aren't in the relationship, but with celebs we really don't know what could have gone on in their marriage. Maybe she did her dirt too. Whatever makes her think she can work it out with her husband/the father of her children its really not our place to judge. I wish them the best. I may be biased because I'm a Kobe and a Laker fan, and I want him to get that 6th ring, lol but, then again it seems Kobe will be Kobe on the court with or without her anyway. __As for society, negativity in general has always been given more attention. It sells more papers, gets higher ratings, and is almost always easier to remember than the good stuff. Its unfortunate though, because it sends the wrong message to our children. I sometimes wonder will there be anything positive left in entertainment 30 years from now…
It doesn't really matter to me. I'm not on the inside of their marriage.
I completely agree with @larnelw's second paragraph
oh and to answer your question (b/c I love them) purple was the color of Lamar and Khloe's wedding
In relationship blogs, and seemingly in Black circles the mantra is leave that so and so, dont put up with that. I would never, its so simple, if you would walk away, happiness and prosperity is waiting. Anyone who forgives is stupid and has low self esteem. Etc, etc. Is it a coincidence that most of the people saying these things are not in committed relationships? And the ones who are conveniently forget about all the sh*t they put up with to repeat the party line. Naw, girl, leave that man.
I agree here. I think it's because folks always project – they believe that the things that are most important to them, as it relates to marriage, should also be most important to everyone else who ever gets married.
The truth is, every marriage is unique to the two individuals in it. That goes for everything from the usual stuff we talk about like fidelity and infidelity to everything else like how finances are handled, how kids are raised … all of that. This is why I never judge other folks marriages, it's theirs, not mine. All I do is wish them success … however it is that they've decided to measure it.
Good write up…soooo wrong putting up the Chris Childs shot, lol! Wonder what he's up t o now a days…lol
Precisely the most important statement i've ever heard.
They are grown people who are entitled to do whatever they deem best for their lives. As a divorced person, I know how much you have to weigh in order to file dem papers. Its hard. Divorce disrupts the lives of soo many people. Yes, its your life but you def consider that. You also have to think about how your children will be affected by the decision. At the end of the day, you have to determine whether or not you love your partner enough to look beyond the problem(s) and remain in the relationship. Are you done? Considering the fact that she's forgiven him several times in the past, I'm not surprised that she may forgive him now.
SN: The internets wouldn't let me be great yesterday, lol. Tried to comment…I'd see it at first then it'd disappear. *shrugs* Glad things are working now.
Well first the colors of khole and lamars wedding was Purple and lilac.. Who doesnt know that.. teehee, Well we do the women of the HPDL. We love weddings and cherish the value of true marriages (emphasis on TRUE).
But you right society is to hung up on the downfalls of marriages… Its great they are making it work… We mean if they were to break up it should have been years ago when he rapped someone.. but if she stayed then, she might as well stay now. Yes there is am element of being fed up when marriages are crumbling and youre tired of holding it up… Apparently they have found some new fuel to have the strength to keep it up.
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Alright…why do my comments keep disappearing?
The internet ain't ready
Mine too…did yesterday too…
My bad yall, I don't see anything in moderation or so I'm not sure what's happening. One suggestion till we get it worked out, when you finish typing a comment just hit "ctrl A" and "ctrl C" to copy the comment just in case it doesn't come through when you click submit.
yeah, mine dissappeared as well yesterday…
kobe loves him some vanessa…. i wonder how mug this make up gift is going to be
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i think it's partly that hatred of Kobe (but then again, someone arrogant to believe he's the best at what he does, usually is hated – Kobe/Bron effect.. sorry, tangent)…
but also, we're so cynical of love, we believe the worse in people, and we don't care to give others, give love a second chance…Love, is a part of life, and just like life, there will be hills, and valleys…the good times on the hills, is what's supposed to motivate you to get through the valleys…that's what "I've heard"…
i think it's partly that hatred of Kobe (but then again, someone arrogant to believe he's the best at what he does, usually is hated – Kobe/Bron effect.. sorry, tangent)…____but also, we're so cynical of love, we believe the worse in people, and we don't care to give others, give love a second chance…Love, is a part of life, and just like life, there will be hills, and valleys…the good times on the hills, is what's supposed to motivate you to get through the valleys…that's what "I've heard"…
Are you kidding? All the words of encouragement for Vanessa? You're right that everyone hates Kobe, but we must be living on two different planets if you didn't see all the negativity and gold digger associations being slung at Vanessa, and words of support and consolation for Kobe. It's funny. When I saw that picture of them, to me, that kind of dispelled the accusations about gold digging if she's still wanting to go back and reconcile with him when she could easily walk away with that fortune.
Each relationship IS different and as much as I don't like Kobe and DO judge his indiscretions (because sleeping with other bytches unprotected is unacceptable), I'm not judging her whether she gets back with him or not because that's her family.
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Love conquers all and family comes first .
People today just don't believe in making a marriage work anymore. Everyone is just so quick to divorce and think it will solve all their problems. But I think it's good that Vanessa is trying to work things out, despite all the ish Kobe put her through. If he really is going to change and she still loves him, then why not give him another chance. The kids will have both parents in the home. It's really not about the money OR society's judgments. Just hope Kobe do it right this time, since he sees that he can lose everything.
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Hey, as long as they are both happy.
Starts humming like my granny in a juke joint and sings, "it's cheaper to keep her." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMByW3C6U-0
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