Last week, AskMen.com posted an articled called Assessing Your Relationship’s Value. The post covered six ways men can determine how much their relationship is really worth. You can click the link above to read the post in full. I’ve captured select excerpts below.
1. Check the Foundations
If you catch her telling half-truths about where she was last night or if you never give her your honest opinion about anything, it’s a bad sign, and a clear indication that one of you doesn’t trust the other.
I found it interesting that the author clearly points out, “if you never give her your honest opinion about anything” as an assessment of value. I have a few friends that don’t bother giving their honest opinion because they don’t want to bother fighting about it. In their mind, if she really doesn’t want his honest opinion, then why bother giving it to her? I’m not sure if this is a flaw in their relationship or a coping mechanism.
2. Consider Curb Appeal
To some, it might seem shallow to evaluate your partner based on looks, but let’s be real: Your level of attraction is going to dictate the terms of your physical relationship, and the physical component of your relationship has everything to do with every other component of your relationship.
A thousand HALLELUJAHS! I’ve had this debate at nauseam. I see nothing wrong with desiring an attractive partner. For whatever reason, people think you can’t have it all – a woman who is physically attractive, intelligent, good personality, emotionally attractive, etcetera. I don’t know why people feel this way but I wish them 100 years of success. Looks aren’t everything but they’re something. As an added bonus, AskMen also covered ways to tell your wife will be hot in 20 years – a topic I will cover in more detail another day.
3. Conduct An Inspection
If you can’t get through the day without making or hearing a nasty comment, it could suggest built-up resentment or even contempt.
4. Evaluate The Market
You’re not going to stop being attracted to hot women just because you’re in a relationship.
I was talking to my (happily) married friend about this recently. I believe a lot of men are waiting for this magical point in their life when they will suddenly stop desiring or being attracted to any and all other women, then and only then can they finally commit to one woman. My married friend informed me this is stupid. He is still attracted to other attractive women. He likely always will be. This wasn’t a valid excuse not to not marry the woman he Loved. It only meant he needs to honor the institution of marriage and the word he gave to his wife, witnesses, and God. This doesn’t mean he still can’t admire (not safe for work) Kate Upton gifs in his spare time.
5. Bring In A Caravan
When you’re assessing the value of your relationship, you should consult your own team of experts.
I don’t know about this advice, unless the experts are really experts. Seeking relationship advice from friends, family, Twitter, Facebook,
WisdomIsMisery is flawed for a number of reasons. The most important reason is that people bias their story telling to make it seem like they are the victim and it is always the other person in the relationship who is the only one contributing to its demise. In actuality, there are three sides to every story: yours, theirs, and the truth. Furthermore, friends, family, Twitter, Facebook, but not WisdomIsMisery, are more likely to take your side. Even if you bash out the windows in his car on Instagram, a crazy and illegal activity, you will always have that core group of friends that will support your ignorant ways with Facebook Likes and comments that read, “well he shouldn’t have had his/her car parked there anyway, girl/bro!” False. You are crazy, but unfortunately only a true expert can objectively diagnose your clinical insanity.
6. Love For Sale
If you notice an increase in your bickering, your first step should be to try to resolve the issues hampering your romantic bliss.
I agree. We live in a society of instant gratification but relationships (and people) haven’t kept up. I notice a lot of good relationship fail because one or both partners are too stubborn, quick, or unwilling to work on the relationship the first time difficulty arises. Instead, they hop on Facebook or Twitter to complain about their relationship problems (see #5) to everyone except for the person they have the issue with. This only exasperates the problem, embarrasses you and them, and often makes mountains out of what should have been molehills. If you don’t want to make the relationship work, that’s fine, but if you do, failing to communicate with the one person you want to make it work with is a recipe for disaster.