Rihanna’s Oprah Interview Backlash And Keeping It Real With Your Own Emotions

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rihanna interview with oprah

Rihanna sat down with Oprah to open up about different aspects of her life, including her relationship with Chris Brown. She spoke on the domestic violence incident, her current feelings towards Chris, and the current status of their relationship.  To check the entire Rihanna interview with Oprah, click on the link below:

Rihanna Interview On Oprah: Next Chapter

I didn’t catch the interview at real time, but I saw the commentary on social media in reagrds to her perspective that she articulated to Oprah. Of course everyone has an opinion, and many people expressed disgust, disappointment, and distress at some of her comments. I wanted to highlight a few quotes from the interview that particularly angered some (props to the homie Somya on the quote aggregation).

“We’ve been working on our friendship again. Now we’re very, very close friends. We built a trust again. We love each other and probably always will… I’m single but we’ve maintained a very close friendship”-On her current relationship with Chris.

The reaction I monitored from the social media community was outrage. How can you be friends with a man who beat your ass? Why would you even consider a friendship with him? She has to be damaged in some way right? I don’t think this is the case. Throughout life, we have been wronged by friends, family, and associates. Whether they hurt us physically or emotionally, they betrayed our trust and did us wrong. Think about the dude that bullied kids, and years later bully-er and bully-ee become friends. Think about that ex who cheated on you and embarrassed you in front of friends and family. Some people can consider that a phase in life and can look past it to salvage a previous relationship.  This is what Robyn is doing here. She obviously values the friendship they had prior to the altercation, and we don’t know the extent of their relationship, so why judge?

Sidebar: This is hilarious

“It’s awkward. It’s awkward because I still love him…My stomach drops and I have to maintain this poker face and not let it get to the outer part of me. I have to maintain that and suppress it”-on having funny feelings when she still sees Chris Brown (as recent as this summer in St. Tropez)

“Absolutely. I think he was the love of my life. He was the first love. I see that he loved me the same way. We were very young and very spontaneous. We ran free; we ran wild. We were falling in love and going at a really rapid pace that we forgot about ourselves”-Rihanna reveals that Chris Brown was a true love of her life.

Some people couldn’t understand how she could still love a man who domestically abused her. They feel that “something is wrong with her” for still loving Chris. I applaud and commend her for keeping it real. How many times do we deny our true feelings in love and in general? We will claim we have 0% love for an ex, but still feel the heart palpitations and uneasiness when we see them on Facebook or at an event with mutual acquaintances. We will have an immediate emotional reaction when we see them with someone new, whether the relationship ended 5 days or 5 years ago. It may be minor or major, but it will be there. It’s normal to feel this way when you were involved in a serious relationship. It’s also normal to carry feelings of bitterness or anger for an ex when you were treated wrong in any way.  To me, it’s more therapeutic to acknowledge those feelings, be real, and address them accordingly. It doesn’t make her damaged to me, it makes her human.  My dude @RaeHolliday Summed up my feelings on Rihanna’s words perfectly:

We are quick to judge people who do certain things in their relationships or former relationships. We will say what they should do, but fail to remember that we might not have fared any better in similar circumstances. We have beliefs on forgiveness yet chastise others for forgiving. It’s human nature to forgive and to criticize one in the same. I don’t fault anyone for following their feelings, but I do commend them for recognizing how they feel, not fronting, and hopefully addressing them.

What’s your thoughts SBMNation?

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  • Tee

    Wonderful post

  • Anastasia!!!

    I thought the interview was actual quite beautiful – What you articulated about her realness is what really kept me so intrigued by the whole thing! When Oprah said she was shocked, a lot of us watching were saying the same thing. I have a different perspective on Rihanna now – I see her as a woman now. She was supremely transparent and that really kind of drew me into her in a way that I hadn't been before.

    I mean, if I could truly be that honest about my feelings, i would definitely be more emotionally open in all my relationships.

    I loooooved it.

  • WAChick

    I, too, really quite enjoyed the interview. Her answers were so raw and just oozed realness. I'm used to the crass, over-the-top (as of late), vulgar Rihanna, so that was a breath of fresh air. I feel like this was the realest interview she's given, regarding the situation, so kudos to her. Also, kudos to Oprah. Man, she is an excellent interviewer. That woman can make anybody break down.

    I don't understand all the judgment. Choosing to forgive him does not make her weak and it doesn't mean that domestic violence is ok. Whether they choose to get back together is their business. I do think it's not the best idea to be so 'close' to an ex you're trying to get over… Well, maybe she doesn't want to get over him. I don't understand how their friendship works, but if it works for them (and his gf), then good.

  • chianne

    Funny – her concern for Chris's well-being right after the incident DID come out in the Diane Sawyer intereview in 2009, but no one bothered to highlight that part of it. She basically said she was worried how he was handling it – worried that he might even 'harm himself' – in Sawyer's words. The media exploits a story so. I'm glad people finally witnessed her love and loyalty. My heart goes out to both of them.

  • texasmade

    It's a breath of fresh air to see real emotion and real answers. Everybody try to protect themselves and their thoughts when being interviewed. Everybody wants to be a corprate cutout to sell some products. How many women in America and the world are in her same exact position. She is just speaking on how she feels and is rebuilding her relationship with the one she loves. At the same time so many women have been hurt again. Love is sometimes blind.

  • Mr. SD

    I think its pretty therapeutic for her to even be able to dig that deep into her real feelings about the whole situation

  • Poetic Justice

    Great post. Commenting for the first time but I’ve been reading SBM posts for a while… many people have commented in the past about the importance of leaving baggage behind so that it does not adversely affect future relationships. I think the vulnerability in this interview is testament to the fact that she is and has been working on checking that baggage and not letting this be an experience that defines her but rather propels her forward into a healthy relationship in the future. (Be it a friendship with Chris or a new relationship with a s/o) As she said, this happened to her, and she needs to be the one to make the decision on where and how she wants to grow from there; it’s not the media nor the public’s decision to make this their personal offense. On a sidenote: some of us love a parent, an ex, or a homie even though they may have hurt us, abused us, or done some things not quite honorable in their past. Others may not understand how we could have a seemingly healthy loving relationship with these people… and that’s ok… we see something in them that maybe others can’t or won’t allow themselves to see. Choosing to have a healthy relationship with someone who has caused you pain doesn’t mean you are ignorant of the precautions or reservations needed… when ready, you accept them for who they are while making a mental note….you know?

  • http://lovelivedesi.com Desi

    Because I can relate to her story, I understand how Rihanna can feel the way she does. What’s important is that she learned from it and I think it’s good she and Chris made peace, that’s better than harboring hate and holding a grudge like society claims we should. At the end of the day, it’s her life no matter how much I or anyone else doesn’t agree with her decisions, all that matters is that she does.

  • samxxviii

    A lot of people will always have an opinion about this situation, at the end of the day it's Rihanna's decision to forgive Chris not the world. I'm glad Rihanna cleared the air for everyone hopefully people can stop asking her the same questions for the past 3.5 years.

    What I'm really wondering if this is the first time that she's revealing her true feeling to Chris; I'm wondering what he's thinking now that Rihanna admitted that she still loves him…Hmmm

    Anyways… Great article!! And awesome interview!! She was real and made me shed a few tears, anyone that reminds me that I have emotions is A-OK in my book. This interview made me gain a new found respect for Rih.

  • SingLikeSassy

    I didn't watch the interview and have only seen the responses to it via Twitter, Facebook etc. I would say people are responding negatively to her still having feelings for Chris because they see it as Stockholm syndrome.

  • Alakaii Hawaii

    The property of healing is in expressing what your reality is and how it feels in that reality and people allowing themselves to fully comprehend what your world is like. Oftentimes people express negative opinions because in the time of such a rare occurrence they put their own opinions and judgments above what an individual is going through. The emotion and need wasn't lost in translation so don't pretend that it was or feign ignorance to trap someone in their sorrow. Empathy is a powerful quality and is what makes humans embody humanity because "How many times do we deny our true feelings in love and in general?" Audiences pretend part of them or all of them can't relate. They deny hearing what that person is saying because they're denying how it genuinely makes them feel. It's awesome to be emotionally nude and to allow someone to be and to join a person in the experience. Being your truth is not that hard.

    • Alakaii Hawaii

      I used to believe a therapeutic happenstance wasn't worth the rope people put around my neck for it but suffering in silence is not where it's at. I thoroughly enjoyed the interview because people in my age group won't relate to who I am and there's an obvious misery in such isolation. She's just a year older and is living a fantasy life of her own making and this honest moment felt as if someone was on the journey with me. There's always beauty in such nudity. Personally, I only speak that way when I'm not paying attention to what I'm saying. when I just talk because it feels better and is relieving of personal tension. Being yourself simply because you can, feels awesome. I also love that it took place in Barbados. There's something about the authenticity of such islandesque cultures that's a personal lullaby.

  • http://thesunk.com TheSUNK

    In all honesty this was just a well-timed PR move. Rihanna has had at least a year and a half to choreograph and rehearse her emotions and sentiments. When the story first came out women were juxtaposed to Chris and Riri, and didn't truly know who to side for(the crazy island girl or the young man exposed to domestic violence). Eventually, CB regained his momentum and chicks forgave him for the altercation. Now her PR has found a way to bring both artists back to the forefront with the public's full support. I'm pretty sure both camps(CB and Riri) discussed the potential gains from such a candid interview. I truly find it hard to believe this interview is candid.
    My recent post Bro-Noooooo's: 4 Things Men Should Stop Doing in the Club

    • Streetz

      What PR does she need tho? Shes more popular than ever and would prob benefit more form publicly ripping Chris and going the other way. There really is no benefit for them professionally making peace.
      My recent post [INFOGRAPHIC] A look at the @WWE and the past 999 Monday Night RAW episodes

      • Dr. J

        Nicki Nicki Nicki…

        She needs PR help. She can't stop the shining.

        • Streetz

          U mean Nicki need help? Or Ri Ri? lol. What Nicki eat dont make Ri Ri ish really. They both thrive

        • Dr. J

          Rihanna and everybody else in the industry is trying to stop Nicki. Everybody can eat, yes. But everybody wants to be the best, and be at the top, Nicki is the biggest threat. The numbers don't lie, not only album sales, concert sales, features and appearances, but now Nicki is getting more endorsements and spots than ever. Nicki is a machine, i'd be tempted to say that even Beyonce is working to counter Nicki's explosion to the top. I know that Jay is worried about it because RocNation needs its monies. If you get a $1m and I get $5m, we all eating, but a year later, you get $5m and I get $1m, we still eating, but now i'm pissed.

        • Streetz

          Doesn't change the fact that she's good where she is right now. Even using your example, that CB move wouldn't help her sell more records or get more endorsements. I get what you are saying but I think it's not accurate in this example

        • Dr. J

          It definitely does… it increases exposure. Exposure leads to more interviews and appearances and therein is the money. I don't think she's hurting for money, I think she's hurting for attention.

        • http://youngheaux.blogspot.com Young Heaux

          Ridiculous.

      • TheSUNK

        Ripping Chris Brown would make people take sides, people love "love stories" and tells of happily ever afters. Ripping him 3 years later would tarnish her image. Sympathy is an emotion that pays the bills when it comes from fans and influences them to buy records, not anger.

        Love stories always make more money, not ripping people. People always side with forgiveness. They just had a remix to "cake" that went viral earlier this year that's "benefit". They are the Prince and Princess of RnB at the moment, that relationship will forever make them synonymous with one another.

        Psychologically speaking if she showed negative or vindictive traits after such an ordeal, people would question her legitimacy(take a look a K.Michelle). Taking the higher road always gets you paid.

        It was a calculated move man. Just like how Chris Brown is trying to embrace this new tatted up rebel/bad boy image, all good marketing.

        Chris Brown is "more popular than ever" as well.
        My recent post Have You Heard of "Pearling"?

    • http://youngheaux.blogspot.com Young Heaux

      Y'all "it's a PR move" people do realize artists are human beings right? Like, there's ALWAYS this big conspiracy whenever an entertainer expresses something personal or real from their lives that they just HAVE to be faking it for "PR purposes" naad "album sales." They're not machines, and PR is not a scientific equation. Maybe after a year and a half of emotional introspection, she was finally ready to share. It's that simple.

  • Beef Bacon

    Great for her! I learned that it is important to move beyond the pain so that you can truly see the lesson in whatever caused the pain. In this world it is almost damned if you do damned if you don’t.

    If she was going around cursing CB out and still upset, it would be, ‘she need to move on already’, ‘she need to let that go’. She is expressing her TRUE emotions. That’s hard for some people to take in this fake world. Many walk around pretending they feel something they truly don’t feel in order to please others. THAT is what’s sad.

  • cynicaloptmst81

    First, I am no Rihanna fan…at all. But, after viewing the interview, I have a new respect for her as a person. I felt her in the interview. She was either very real or the next Oscar award winning actress. I think that she was brave to speak her truth knowing that it wouldn't be popular…knowing that people would accuse her of having Stockholm Syndrome.

    Regardless of your part in a situation, its always healthy to do a self-analysis. How did I get here? Could I have done anything differently? She was able to see that her relationship/past with her father had a lot to do with what she was experiencing. She did the work to repair that part of her so that she could move forward. How beautiful is that?! Instead of remaining a victim, she chose to empower herself and grab hold of her complete healing.

    If the woman involved in the act has forgiven him, society has NO RIGHT to hold a grudge. Forgiveness is hard, but a must for all. "It happened to me." – Rihanna

    • cynicaloptmst81

      My relative was an addict. In the midst of his marriage, there were serious fights/abuse…fueled by his addictions. Now that he's clean, he and his ex-wife have rebuilt their friendship. When she fell on hard times, he opened his home to her although they are not in a relationship. She accepted his offer and she's now staying with him till she gets back on her feet.

      Healing is real. Forgiveness is real. This stuff happens in real life. What makes the Rihanna/Chris situation tough is that they have to experience life in front of the world and all its hypocrisies and opinons.

  • Dana

    While I respect and agree with all of the comments made above about the realness and emotional vulnerability, I think this is where some of the backlash and negative comments are coming from…..

    It goes to the fact that she's a role model and has a huge platform. 1 in 3 women will experience abuse from their domestic partner. This is NOT OKAY. We as women need to stand up and say I will NOT tolerate that treatment. While it is important to find forgiveness for an individual to move forward, it does not mean that you have to put this other person (that you love) in front of your own emotional needs and physical safety. Many of us…most of us (1 in 3) have been in that situation. Where you love the person that abused you so deeply. Encouragement needs to be given to empower women to get out of that situation, not to believe it's okay to go back because you love them. As someone said ^^^ Love is blind.

    I agree that Rih and Chris have their own relationship and it could be a very different situation than what we understand. If it's taken public though, than maybe the effect that this message has on women could be considered. If not, than maybe their relationship should stay private.

    • Smilez_920

      I see what your saying but, Rihanna is 23 years old she is still learning. It’s like this if your sick of dealing with your abuser your going to leave weather Rihanna continues To deal with Chris or not. If you stay that was your intent anyway, now you might just have other people to feed Into the hope you already had. I think people need to stop expecting these young stars to be perfect role models. I felt so bad for her when she first was abused. The public/ media didn’t even give her time to deal with her own hurt and feelings before they wante her to become the spokes person for domestic violence.

      Also Rihanna situation is different, than the average victim. Emotion wise it equals out but finicially, Rihanna isnt like most victims. Most victims don’t stay just out of love, they stay because they feel they have no where to go, the absuer has had the victim cut off all her fam and friends, she probably has no money of her own, and God forbid she could have a child with the absuer, which would make it 10 times harder to walk away. I’m not saying Rihanna going back might not have a slight effect on some but we shouldn’t put that pressure on her.

      • http://www.therealslimjackson.com Slim Jackson

        Rihanna is 23 years old she is still learning."

        I don't think most people are thinking about it…at least not from what I've seen. You can only know so much at that age.
        My recent post The Back on Track Report: Week 7

      • Dana

        Yes, I 100% agree with you. I was trying to point out a possible reason why there has been such negative backlash towards the situation. But yes, that's a lot of weight for anyone to hold, let alone someone at 23 that grew up in the spotlight.

    • Streetz

      "We as women need to stand up and say I will NOT tolerate that treatment. While it is important to find forgiveness for an individual to move forward, it does not mean that you have to put this other person (that you love) in front of your own emotional needs and physical safety."

      Where did you get that she put his feelings above her own? By admitting what she feels? I disagree
      My recent post [INFOGRAPHIC] A look at the @WWE and the past 999 Monday Night RAW episodes

      • Dana

        As I said earlier, I agree with many of the comments made upthread. I think it is admiral of someone to be that vulnerable and to be that real. There is nothing wrong with how she feels and I am glad she shared. I suppose I was trying to play devil's advocate and point out maybe why there has been a big negative response.

        I do connect on a personal level to what she was saying because I to still love and will always love my abuser. When I remember the times that I wanted to work things out – or go back – or start a new relationship with him it was because I wanted HIM to be okay just as much as I wanted myself to be okay. There was a quote – which I realize was not in this article but another one, that discussed how in one interview she commented, "I just hope he is handling everything okay – I worry about him". (This was not a recent statement, but closer to when things first went down). Anyways, at the end of the day I am so happy that I had people around me to say – NO CONTACT is the best thing for you. To put my "worry" for him and my "love" for him aside and start putting my love for myself first.

      • Dana

        So, what I am trying to say, is that perhaps the masses are crticizing her because they to feel that a "no contact" policy would be best. I am not agreeing nor disagreeing because everyone's situation is unique, but my experience is how I identified with this article.

  • http://www.singleblackmale.org/author/wisdomismisery/ WisdomIsMisery

    I haven’t watched the interview and doubt I will for the same reason I generally don’t watch reality TV. I have nothing against the people, they just don’t have a direct affect on my life. It’s like a soap opera. Anyway, I stopped “feeling sorry” for Ri when she hooked up with CB again a couple weeks after he put her hands on her. Celebrities or not, theyre both grown people making grown people decisions (and mistakes). I don’t need bad decisions to play out on a national scale for me to know they’re bad or judge one way or the other. It’s their life to live. I do find it interesting that Rihanna always seems to come off as more regretful over the events than Chris Brown. That, I do not understand. I also wasn’t there that night so I’ve always assumed there is more than meets the eye.

    I wish both the best but as a whole, I’m personally kinda over the topic even tho I recognize they will forever be intertwined through this incident for as long as they both remain in the lime light. It is what it is.

  • Streetz

    So one of my boys says this is a clear cut case of "Battered Womens Syndrome". Do you all agree? Why/Why Not?
    My recent post [INFOGRAPHIC] A look at the @WWE and the past 999 Monday Night RAW episodes

    • Smilez_920

      Idk about that. I think her acting crazy, abusing her own body, or moving in to another man that beats her is a case of battered woman’s syndrome. they started going out when they were 17 yrs old, they were young . There are 30 year old woman still Harboring on heartbreaks that happened to them a decade ago, now all of a sudden Rihanna is suppose to get up and forget all about him and her feelings for him. Part of the healing process is dealing with those feelings. She’s doesn’t still love chris brown because she’s battered and addicted To abuse, she loves him because that is her first he is all that she knows. Plus unlike regular people these young ppl had the relationship romantized times 10. You know what that can do to a young woman, she was on cloud nine and knocked to the dirt in one night. I’m sure she’s went through her angry phase. She’s needs to acknowledge those love feelings before she can move on and not just jump from relationship to relationship tying to fill a void.

    • jdoubleu

      Yes and no.

      I haven't watched the interview because Twitter pretty much gave the transcript. But when you put their 2 backgrounds together, something like this was bound to happen (not to say all DV situations are to be blamed on bad childhoods though). I honestly look at Rihanna as 1 of those types who loves incredibly hard and it takes something extreme for her to see "ok I need to let this go".

      But again, she's 24. To be fair, she hasn't been allowed to completely disconnect and "get over it" because people constantly want to ask her about it. When something like this happens, people personalize it and project their feelings and hypotheticals on it. I think her emotional response to still loving Chris/worrying about him/etc and where she is with her feelings now are normal. No matter the hurt that was inflicted, you'll always have a deep connection to your 1st love. That's life
      My recent post The Things My Father Taught Me About Marriage

    • Poetic Justice

      I empathize w/ Dr. J's sentiments in "being over the topic" in that this is a process for Rhi and CB to go through and I wish media would let it rest. On the other hand I think it's a relevant topic on SBM because we are going to encounter suitors that have been through things…heavy things… and may have dealt with them in a way we don't relate to…which may lead us to label them or diagnose them and ultimately write them out of our lives. I don't think this is a case of Battered Women's Syndrome. Rhi obviously has a different understanding of abusive relationships and coping with them. She loves her father, honors him on each of her albums, and is making steps at harboring a good relationship with him even though she grew up witnessing him abuse her mother. Most likely she has developed strength from that experience with her father that has aided her in where she's at in her journey coping with her relationship with CB. And like many have said, she's young and this interview is just a part of the process…it's for her to know and decide what happens next….

      • Poetic Justice

        Maybe that 's how I'd answer one of WIM's questions from 3 Topics People Don't Discuss Until It's Too Late… "When and how much of your past experiences do you discuss with a partner? (For fear of being diagnosed as damaged, suffering Battered Women's Syndrome or just having too much baggage)"

        • cynicaloptmst81

          Good one…

    • cynicaloptmst81

      NO!

      Because they are not in a relationship…and she in no way stated that they were trying to be. From my interpretation, she's on a quest to forgive and release the negative burdens of the past…living a life thats open to all possibilities…like before "the incident". She didn't only repair her relationship with Chris. She also repaired her relationship with her father. She didn't excuse what he did in any way. She never mentioned his troubled past/upbringing. I'd bet most people have a soft/bittersweet spot for their first love. She's no different from most.

      I'm really wondering what people think she should be doing. Should she be sitting around dogging him out hoping he burns in hedes?

  • Dr. J

    I never really focused on the fact that she was keeping it real or anything like that. I thought it was weird how every dude knew almost immediately that Chris Brown will always have a pass to that ass. It wasn't even when she called him her true love or that she will always love him. It was when she said, "Chris has a girlfriend and that's that."

    Every dude in America has been in that situation and heard that in that exact tone and knew.

    Guy: Yeah, I care about you and all.
    Girl: Yeah, but you have a girlfriend.
    Guy: [I could still beat. She ain't say she ain't want to be with me, she just said I have a girlfriend.]

  • http://www.katwebbmusic.com KitKatCuty84

    She is allowed to have feelings for him. I don't understand that, though.

    I was with a dude who was physically abusive. When I was single, I talked all this ish about how women shouldn't let that happen to them. They should just get out. And then when it happened, for a little while after, I let it go. Like, I said, "Ok, if you're sorry, I'll stay." It ended shortly after and it was only then that I admitted it to my parents. I was more ashamed of myself in that situation, for not being as strong as I thought I'd be. But heck no I have NO interest in reconnecting with him, and no lingering feelings for him except regret that we were ever together. And his crazy butt still tries to rekindle something. Sends me a tired text about once a year.

    More recently, I was with an emotionally abusive dude. I'm talking stole large amounts of money, cheated on me in my own car, in my own apartment, had exes and CURRENT other women (perhaps WIVES, as part of a racketeering situation) calling and emailing me. Helping him pay for school, spending money, vacations WITHOUT ME. Like, seriously.

    And again, I'd talked all this ish about how I wouldn't stand for this and that, but the relationship lasted for more than a year AFTER I caught him with another woman in MY apartment. Those were bad times, and again, that was just a shameful situation when I look at myself. I used to feel the closest thing to HATE for him. Like, I didn't WANT him to die, but… Anyway, now I just don't think of him at all. If I did see him again, it'd probably be fear that I felt, more than anything. Dude will get what's coming to him.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      I'm really sorry you experienced this.

      Is it possible that the difference here is that you suffered repeated abuse at the hands of these 'men' while Rihanna only has the 'incident' as a blemish (a major, huge one) to their otherwise loving relationship?

      • Dana

        I would have a hard time believing that their relationship was so rosy. And the first time abuse occured is when Rhi ends up in a hospital with her face swelled to a pumpkin? I don't think that was the first time….it was just the worst time…. None of us can really say for sure though.

        • Smilez_920

          I think in the Ocho Evelyn post some one made a reference to someone being dv vs two partners fighting and one losing the battle ( not condoning men beating women) Like everyone else idk what happened in the car all I know is she walked out beaten. It could have been the first time or just the worst time , but whatever the case may be she ended up hurt . While I’m sure their we’re times their relationship wasn’t rosy, idk he treated her bad or abused her prior to this. Yes he was allegedly cheating on her but I don’t think he every went out of his way to break her psych.

          I agree with you @cyn. I think Rihanna left at the first sign of major trouble. Where as someone like Tina Turner stayed around until she nearly lost her life. I’m sure each one of them will have their own personal way to make peace with their abuser and their mixed feelings.

        • cynicaloptmst81

          "None of us can really say for sure though."

          Right…and she hasn't made that accusation.

          There's always a first time. Why couldn't this be his/theirs? Just because it was gruesome?

          I'd rather not assume either way. What we know for sure is that Rihanna has NOT stated abuse prior to that night. That's the only fact we have.

        • Dana

          Yes, Rhi hasn't made that accusation, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's a fact. There is so much shame associated with being abused. How do you tell your friends and family that you were putting up with that for so long, that you didn't ask for help? In Rhianna's case, how do you tell the WORLD that? If it were me, I wouldn't have told. Especially if I loved him so much. Of course, I'm just speculating, and putting my two cents on my perception of the situation based on my experience in abusive and non-abusive relationships.

  • bellatrice1

    Great post. To those who say it was a PR move…that's asinine. She def does NOT need PR. People have been asking themselves the questions that Oprah asked her ever since the incident occurred. I'm sure she was tired of the speculation and wanted to establish some truths…

    My take-away from the interview was when she said you don't just stop loving someone because they hurt you. This statement could not be truer.

    My rel with my first love was the same, so I can relate. He never abused me, but it ended devastatingly. Do I hate him…no. Do I still love him, yes and I probably always will too. It's her life and her body. She can forgive, love and befriend anyone she wants to. I am a huge Rihanna fan because she is real unlike a lot of stars who say what they're told to say to please fans (eh hem, Beyonce). What she has done and said takes strength. I applaud her.

    If you can turn love off and on when you feel like it, then you don't know what it's like to truly love. Period.
    My recent post 10 Lame Things Rappers Do

  • SingLikeSassy

    DL Hughley said this and it gave me pause: Chris Brown was 19 when this happened. Should he be judged for the rest of his life for something he did when he was 19? So it's great that she didn't bash him. That's neither productive nor helpful.

    On another note, my husband cheated and I divorced him. I was hurt, crushed, devastated — all the adjectives you can name. But, a part of me will always love him. And we are friends now. I get it.

  • http://youngheaux.blogspot.com Young Heaux

    and* album sales

  • niksmit

    I’m not a psycho pro, but I take in a lot. Rihanna dropped some red flags in her interview. I’m not about to look up battered woman’s syndrome and see if it fits the textbook. It’s possible for her to be emotionally growing and evolved enough to have reached a place of forgiveness. I do believe in forgiving people for one’s own health. That’s not where she lost me. She didn’t even lose me at still loving him and wanting him to be better. She lost me at when she something like: I won’t be at peace until he’s at peace. That combined with her saying they’re (did she say very?) close friends now and working on their friendship, made me want to pray for her even though I don’t pray. It’s important for her to grasp that she’s not responsible for fixing him, his happiness, or protecting him. Her happiness and peace shouldn’t depend on his. That’s where things go off track. The main problem I’ve had with her ex since he sent her to the hospital is that based on his antics since, he’s not working on himself to right whatever in him made him do her wrong. Until he’s on that track and she’s really let go, it’s not healthy for her to be all up in his mix. One of the most important things I was ever taught was forgiving and loving FROM AFAR is vital in some situations.

    • niksmit

      Interesting typo–that should say "psych pro"

    • Dana

      Yes!

    • Ms_Sarafina

      niksmit, you hit the nail right on the head with this comment. After watching the interview, it didn’t sit well with me and that was the exact reason why. She’s entitled to feel however she feels but she hasn’t let go and she needs better people around her to call her out on putting his happiness above her own. It’s seems very toxic.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      "She lost me at when she something like: I won't be at peace until he's at peace. That combined with her saying they're (did she say very?) close friends now and working on their friendship, made me want to pray for her even though I don't pray. It's important for her to grasp that she's not responsible for fixing him, his happiness, or protecting him. Her happiness and peace shouldn't depend on his. That's where things go off track."

      I understand this completely.

  • Adonis

    Women love the men that beat them… It is what it is…

  • http://www.petersburgh.wordpress.com petersburgh

    I watched the interview and it was touching. I don't think it was a PR move but I am Bajan and I know it was good PR for us in Barbados. I think Robyn just needed to say what she had to say and that's it. That's just my point of view

  • http://www.singleblackmale.org The Symbiotic Loner

    What’s your thoughts SBMNation?

    I don’t consider myself a member of the “SBMNation” or of the “SBM family”…

    How many times do we deny our true feelings in love and in general?

    I. DO. NOT. ANYTIME.

    “…We will claim we have 0% love for an ex, but still feel the heart palpitations and uneasiness when we see them on Facebook or at an event with mutual acquaintances…”

    Speak for yourself, man. The closest thing I have to “..heart palpitations and uneasiness…” is the worry that I go Jack the Ripper on the females who contributed to birthing the emotions I’m trying to express. (smile) But, I control such emotions–they do not control me…

    “…It’s also normal to carry feelings of bitterness or anger for an ex when you were treated wrong in any way…”

    The only thing you’ve said that connects with me…

    “… To me, it’s more therapeutic to acknowledge those feelings, be real, and address them accordingly…”

    (smile) That’s why I say what I say on this site… ESPECIALLY the “…be real…” part.

    “…It doesn’t make her damaged to me, it makes her human….” That brings up a laugh upon reading because of a resulting question: Why is it when a female keeps it real with her emotions, she’s applauded, but when a dude keeps it real with HIS emotions, he’s BRANDED as “emo”… (shaking my head)

    “…I don’t fault anyone for following their feelings, but I do commend them for recognizing how they feel, not fronting, and hopefully addressing them…”

    When it comes to this site, a man in touch with his feelings being “commended” remains to be seen… (smile) However, this site cannot and WILL not change the nature of the Symbiotic Loner… (really sinister smile) Whether I’m vocal here or not…

    #NotForBeingPatronized

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  • http://twitter.com/NIAnaturally @NIAnaturally

    First, let me say I love Rihanna, and I thought the interview was beautiful and heartfelt. Now, on to the meat…

    How fitting is it that I'm watching Enough as I type this comment…

    From some (read: most) of the comments, people think she's just a girl who was dumped by her man, and she still loves him. No, she got her ass beaten by her boyfriend, and had to go to the hospital. I can understand her loving him, and I'm all for her forgiving him, because real forgiveness will give her peace. However, forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. And based on her saying she won't be in peace until he is in peace is a problem. Never should your emotional and spiritual well-being come second to that of another's well-being, especially not your abuser. And this isn't just for Rihanna, but for anyone who's been hurt physically or emotionally by a loved one. If I was Rih's mentor, big cousin, role model, Sunday School teacher, choir director, whatever, I would tell her to not try to save Chris. Forgive, be a friend where you can, but you can't save him, he has to work on that on his own.

    • Adonis

      @NiaNaturally She won't be at peace until Chris' peen is insider her on the regular, beating her what part of the love ritual. She just didn't want it in front of the world to dissect & critique & I agree with her on that.

      SSTTE

  • elijah muhammed

    She's a good role model for black girls. Since most of them will be beaten by their emotionally stunted partners, due to their anger issues and poor impulse control, they should just learn how to take it.

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  • http://sbm nomsa25

    i completely agree with the article written so well on rhirhis reactions toward everything basically.
    i was in a relationshio for three years with a man i have a baby with that cheated , beat me up, strangled me , lied, stole and was extremely possesive over me that i lost track of my own life, i loved him and it hurts to say , still do love and miss him.

    im not going back due to the extent of damage he did to me and my child “our child” but if rihanna sees value and love and change in chris brown, then hey – go for it

    GOD bless their chosen union together