10 Things About Life I’ll Teach My Daughter

7. Life is cumulative.

Any and everything you do in life will always be in  your file. You can’t use excuses like, “I was young” or “It was college” and think that people will excuse your actions. They won’t. In fact, they’ll bring it up at the most inopportune times. For that very reason, I want you to always exercise good judgment in everything you do.

8. There’s a big difference between independent and self-sufficient.

When you hear women talk about being “independent,” ignore that crap. Men don’t want independent women, women want independent women. Men want self-sufficient women. Men have to feel like their needed and wanted, when you’re independent you push away others because you don’t need them. Self-sufficient women need less but if they need to be relied on to do something, a man can trust that it will get done.

9. Learn to let stuff go.

Relax, Release, Relate…

I have this list of women called, “That’s that ish I don’t like.” It’s filled with women I can’t stand, I may tolerate their presence a little, but I don’t fancy it. The #1 leading cause of women who end up on this list is they don’t know how to let things go. They carry baggage around for years, they hold grudges, they always “I’m gonna remember that”, or they always bring up things from the past that really don’t matter all that much anymore. Don’t be one of those women, learn to let things go and move on with your life. It will make you happier and leave you holding onto a lot less stress.

10. Nobody cares about your story.

You’re going to have this undying desire to always tell people reasons for your actions or why you are the way you are. No one is going to care about that. They are only focused on what you actually do, not why you do it. No one will accept an excuse for failure because of horrible circumstance. Use your circumstance as motivation, not a crutch.

Above all else, I’ve always told people that my plan is to be a great father. That was one of my goals in life that I had at an early age, I just wanted to be a great father. It didn’t have anything to do with my father not always being around, because he was. It didn’t have anything to do with wanting to represent for my race, because I don’t feel any pressure or responsibility to do that. It actually came from a place of vanity. I just want creatures on this planet in the image of myself. With that said, I need to make sure that they are the coolest creatures on the planet because their dad will be the coolest dad on the planet.

Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don’t like gays? You’re gonna have a gay son. You don’t like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter’s gonna come home with Livin’ La Vida Loca!

With that said, I always hated the cool kids table at lunch.

- Dr. J

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  • Magg

    Awwww this is supa dupa cute (and funny), im all smiling!!!!
    *calling my daddy to tell him that i love him*

  • http://glippost.wordpress.com Darrk Gable

    *daps* It’s good to know I’m not the outlier in thinking like this about my 2 daughters. It may sound harsh, but #10 is the most salient point that will prepare them for life.

  • nyah

    "I remember how men used to talk about the girls who weren’t putting out or who were wack in general, don’t be like that."

    Not quite sure what you mean by this so I cant really say I agree but I like everything else. I was raised only by my father and he pretty much taught me all of this with extra emphasis on number 10. Number 10 is something we need to teach daughters, sons, baby mamas, half cousins, etc. Its definitely the difference between being good and being great.

    • nyah

      oh and this – "Above all else, I’ve always told people that my plan is to be a great father. That was one of my goals in life that I had at an early age, I just wanted to be a great father. It didn’t have anything to do with my father not always being around, because he was. It didn’t have anything to do with wanting to represent for my race, because I don’t feel any pressure or responsibility to do that. It actually came from a place of vanity. I just want creatures on this planet in the image of myself. With that said, I need to make sure that they are the coolest creatures on the planet because their dad will be the coolest dad on the planet." Bible, Quran, Torah, basically TRUTH!

      My dad is not perfect but if anyone crosses him or tries to tell him hes not perfect I will slit their throat and hide the body. The reason I love him so much is because I can honestly tell that he loves me and my siblings genuinely and not because he has to set an example for other blacks or because my mom wasnt around or because someone is making him.

  • Peter Parker

    Good post Dr. J. Man, I can't say which one stands out the most as they are all equally important in raising a good, all-around young lady. I will also add, no matter what, make sure the man you are dating respects you. I think that is very key.

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan.

    i think the chris rock quote needs to be updated for worldstar/youtube…a stripper is bad but she's grown in one location and hopefully no one recognizes her, online is all over and she's bussing it wide open for likes and comments. either possibility would make me go Liam Neeson. but great post…usually on list posts i try to add honorable mentions but i got nothing, you hit the nail on the head with all the points
    My recent post Today’s Word is… INSANE

  • Jupiter Calhoun

    Gretzky looks PISSED. I think that's the first time I ever saw that look. Yeah, someone is catching a hockey stick to the temple if they step out of line.

  • Mr. SD

    I was having a conversation with my daughter yesterday (shes 10) about loving yourself. Teaching her how she must always love the person she is. And how its ok to work on improving parts of you but you gotta love all of you. Little girls need to know its ok to love their imperfections.

    • GirlSixx

      *Repeatedly trying to click thumbsUp*

      This is awesome!!!

  • BlueSteele

    *tears*

    • Magg

      *hug*

  • J. Crawford

    This post was on point, and I really like # 8 and #9, those two are huge factors that determine if a relationship = 30 yrs of Marriage or if it will lead to a Quick and Numbing/Drawn Out and painful break up

  • Larry

    Good post.

    Number 5 stood out to me. More specifically the last line at the end:

    "If a man’s behavior detests you because you feel that there’s a double standard at play, make sure you even agree with the actions before jumping at the opportunity to play copycat."

    Couldn't agree more with this.

  • http://inanimatethoughts.blogspot.com Animate

    Meanwhile back at the ranch…
    http://toglobalist.org/2012/11/strong-smart-beaut
    My recent post Murci, Murci Me

  • Adonis

    Excellent, excellent piece. Round of applause. So was Mr. Spradley's piece

    1. Learn martial arts, learn how to handle a gun.
    2. Be a wife before being a wh0re.
    3. The rest is on me to make sure she is a force of nature upon the world. Because it is already in her genes.

    I pop my collar to Dr. J

  • cynicaloptmst81

    NUMBER 7 THOUGH????!!!!!

    It should be sent out in a memo to EVERYONE…EVERYONE on the planet.

  • Dana

    Oh wow, am I the only that isn't feeling the post 100? The number 1 about being wack…are you saying she shouldn't be one of those girls that doesn't put out? I would be encouraging strongly who my daughter gives chex to. Perhaps I misunderstood.

    • Adonis

      No @Dana

      When the good Doctor says "Don't Be Wack" is really means "Be cool a human being" and to ATEOTD, give good energy. Non-Sexually

  • Madria

    Good post sometimes I think we forget the leasons and make everything about the parents. When it is the children that need out help