5 Ridiculous Things Women Expect from Men

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I haven’t dated a lot but I’ve dated enough. Over the years, I’ve learned that women – and ladies, I love you dearly – have some ridiculous expectations when it comes to what a man is supposed to do in the relationship. I’m not talking about things like courtship in 2012 even though a lot of you “independent women” make more money than us and have more graduate degrees than us or how men always have to be the first to approach. I think we can all agree those things and many others are ridiculous, but at least they make logical sense and have a basis grounded in history. Today, I’m talking about expectations that really are ridiculous and their ridiculousness aren’t up for debate. While I could have made a list of 100, I chose to start-off with five. I trust my brothers-in-arms can add to the list in the comment section. Without further ado…

1. Kill Bugs.

I don’t know where this expectation came from but I don’t care what your sexual make-up at birth, bugs are disgusting. Look, I’ll kill a bug with the best of them but it’s not like I like it. Tarantulas are just as big to me as they are to you! The best thing you can do is go in the opposite room of wherever the bug is while I negotiate some type of cessation agreement with the bug. If a bug is too big, we’ll both just have to pretend like we don’t see it, ok? Deal? Good! The last thing I need is you standing behind me pushing me closer to the bug, like the bug doesn’t see us coming. Have you ever gone toe-to-toe with a flying cockroach?! I have! Nothing will have you questioning your manhood and calling up on whatever deity you believe in faster than going to step on a cockroach and he flies up towards your face like, “YOU GOIN TA JAIL NOW!”

2. Kill Killers.

On my best day, I weighed like 170lbs. Even if I put my whole body into it, there aren’t too many guys I’m going to lay out with a punch. I know this about myself. This is why I’m a lover not a fighter. If you go across the club and Tyrone ‘The Two Eye Drops is Worth 20-Bodies Each’ Franklin grabs on ya butt, your butt just got grabbed on. End of story as far as I’m concerned  What are you doing on the other side of the club anyway?! No one told you to go over there! Hood-killers aside, I’m also not about to go up against a chainsaw wielding serial killer. IT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

Her: Did you hear something? WIM: NO!

I like scary movies but the difference between me and most women is that I KNOW IT IS A MOVIE! I suggest you kick-off those red bottoms and get on the good foot, because that’s what I’ll be doing. If a killer comes after me, I’ll be shaking a leg and it won’t be stanky! I suggest you keep up or I’ll just have to mourn you on the 6-o-clock news tomorrow. They couldn’t make a movie called TAKEN about me. I am not Liam Neeson. If the terrorists take you, that autobiography will just be called TOOK, because that’s what you’ll be, took-en! I’ll mourn you on AC360 and cry with the best of them. Miss you, baby!

3. Investigate Strange Noises.

I’m sure you’re seeing a theme by now. If there’s a noise in the basement, as long as it’s not in the room we’re residing in, I have no beef with that noise. That noise didn’t do anything to me, so why would I look into it? Did you not read items #1 and #2? You’re able to hear strange noises in the middle of the night with precision but you can’t understand the words that are coming out of my font? I’m not looking into it! Let’s lock all of the entrances to the room we’re in and be scared together. I’ll hold you, but I’m not leaving that room. If you’re so curious, we can work out a password or password-reentry-knock-system and you can leave the room. I’ll lock the door behind you. Good luck!

4. PAY FOR EVERYTHING.

I understand paying for everything during this make-believe “courtship” phase. Once we’re in a committed relationship, I better see that matching clutch purse of yours on more occasions than pulling out your driver’s license! I had a former co-worker whose boyfriend made $90,000 a year. She made about $50,000. She paid for nothing and she planned to never pay for anything. By her estimate, that wasn’t her job. His money was her money and her money was her money. That’s a cool philosophical story, bro and I’ma let you finish, but if we live together and you don’t pay for anything, you and I don’t live together. You live with me and I will feel free to remove you from the premises if things don’t work out, because that’s what I feel like you’re saying by not contributing so much as a penny to expenses, especially those you help create. If we’re in a relationship, I’m not paying for the esteemed benefit of being in your company. They have a name for women who charge by the hour, they’re called… [Internet connection lost]

5. Change into the Perfect Man.

I understand that not everyone is going to like me and that’s fine. But, don’t agree to be with me but what you’re really looking forward to is dating the guy I could be after you change me into #him. I’m not going to change into him. Know why? Because I’m not him, I’m me! I like myself, no pause. Me and myself get along perfectly fine. You’re welcome to join us. If you can’t see yourself being part of the experience, then don’t get on the ride! If you think I’ve worked all this time to become who I am to change into someone completely different for you, it’s not going to happen. You don’t need me, you need the man in your head. If I’m not your dream guy, no hard feelings, we can move on amicably! All I humbly request is that you PLEASE INFORM ME OF THIS INFORMATION BEFORE I PUT A RING ON IT!

As an added bonus, check out page 2 for the 5 Ridiculous Things Men Expect from Women.

Fellas, what are some other ridiculous expectations women have of men?

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From Our Partners

  • @svictoria24

    I L-O-L’d through this whole thing! Great post, as always! :)

    • Queue908

      Ditto!

  • Paul B.

    To be a mind reader. If I could read minds, I'd be wealthy already. You have a mouth that you know how to complain with; that same mouth can be used to articulate what you want without needing it to be coaxed out of you.

    • Everett K

      This is the only one I'll respond too….Two Thumbs Up Paul B.!!

    • Queue908

      Agreed – totally!!!!!

    • Queue908

      Wait…will you be reading our lips to allay that eyes glazed over look you get when we are speaking our minds…you know, the mind you can’t read????

  • Siphiwe

    I think it's just so cute to see a man walking away feeling like his conquered the world after killing a big spider in his ladies honor. lol. then when they walk towards us they have to say something silly like "its just a spider babe". Interesting read though.

  • mara

    I think 1-3 sadly show a lack of manliness. Check out the marks of manhood here: http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001093.c
    #1 I don't ask men to kill bugs for me, I can do that on my own. BUT as a man who is most likely physically stronger than me, it's the courteous thing for you to do.
    #2-3 One of the roles of men is "protector" so yes, surprise, surprise, I expect you to protect me.
    #5. I agree one shouldn't hope for someone to change into a completely different person. HOWEVER, women are more likely than men to date "potential". They see the man he can become if he continues to grow. I see no problem with expecting you to grow and become a better person. I expect the same for myself.

    Now I'm off to check this list for women you have!

    • Imoteda

      LOL!!!!! This post killed me. And I felt good because I never ask a man to do a single thing on here for me.

      Mara- You don't need someone physically stronger than you to kill the bug love. It's not like you're putting down a rat. I think killing bugs depends on whose apartment you're in. If you're in his then put your feet up and scream. If he's in yours then get your broom and hit that flying roach. If you live together whoever is closer wacks it.

      As for 2&3 I expect a man to protect me under reasonable conditions. If a man grabs my butt I will probably be annoyed if a guy I was with turned it into a fight. I would rather turn around, give the guy the stare of death and keep walking. Any man grabbing butts in a club is not worth the words nor the bruised knuckles or hospital bills. If a guy actually hits me then my man can step in, call the cops first though. If he weighs 250 and my man is a buck twenty soaking wet, then I beg him to just call the cops and take care of me. I don't want us to have matching black eyes.

    • Uncle Hugh, BP

      mara: "I don't ask men to kill bugs for me, I can do that on my own. BUT as a man who is most likely physically stronger than me, it's the courteous thing for you to do."

      Physically stronger? What kind of bugs are in your house? The Insecticons?

      • BlueSteele

        Insecticons…LMAO

      • Lisha

        Insecticons? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

      • http://twitter.com/SmooveSalsero @SmooveSalsero

        Insecticons… Had me dyin' lol

      • LMBO

        LMBO!!!

      • Gmail

        Insecticons???? That's toooooo funny. Holy Crap, I can't even stop laughing.

    • http://singleblackmale.org/author/wisdomismisery WisdomIsMisery

      This was a largely written in jest; however, this link you provided is an interesting read. Will likely inspire a follow-up. Thanks!

      • Larry

        Those are quite a bit of "maturities" designated to a gender in which they, for all intents and purposes, are considered the immature one, lol. Interesting read, indeed.

        • mara

          glad you read it. what better way to fight against the immature stereotype than to reaffirm maturity, correct?

      • mara

        there's a bit of truth in every joke. I look forward to reading your thoughts on the article.

    • Desiree

      I think it all depends on your upbringing according to what your father did. My father was a marine and proudly did whatever to protect my mother and his children. He did NOT just do everything but if my mother tried to kill a bug and was unsuccessful he would immediately ask if she wanted his help. However, when YELLOW JACKETS SWARMED IN MY ROOM, NATURALLY I CALLED FOR ‘DADDY’, AND MOMMA LET HIM IN THE ROOM, GRABBED ME OUT, AND SHUT HIM IN TO DO HIS THING. LOL!

      Manhood is defined by culture and in my traditional cultural, men are the protectors. And I personally know of many men who would totally disagree with this post. I LOVE SHOOTING GUNS AND WILL PROTECT MY OWN BEHIND, BUT I DO EXPECT MY MAN TO STAND UP FOR ME AND PROTECT OUR FAMILY. I guess this explians why I am attracted to bold men/soliders/big guys. To each her/his own though…live and let live.

    • Nish

      Mara,

      I agree with you. I actually thought there would be useful information in this artcle. I think I’ve heard Kevin Hart tell these jokes a few years ago…when he was still married.

  • Muze

    i'll kill the bug. i'm not scraping/picking it up though bro. i'll kindly hand you the paper towel with a smile.

    the investigating strange noises… yeah, that's your job. either we're both going to be waiting with weapons until that noise gets closer, or you're going towards the noise to check it out. ME having to protect YOU and go check out the noise? nawl. instant aridness in the love below. i don't respect wimpy/afraid of everything grown men. and i definitely can't be in a relationship with one.

    do i expect you to kill killers? no. unless you have a gun. then yeah, shoot that mofo. lol

    i think being around my father all my life skewed my bias towards very protective men. my dad is gangster and thus takes none from anyone. i've never felt unsafe around him, ever. i also like bigger/tall men, so if you're more afraid than me in situations and i have to protect you, what am i dating you for? lolol

    My recent post too much, too soon?

    • Muze

      gasp. i don't know why an avi from 2009 is by my name but it needs to go. lol
      My recent post too much, too soon?

    • Queue908

      “Shoot that mofo…”
      Hilarious!!!

  • Lagoschicka

    Women kill me with the screaming for a guy to kill a bug for them..it’s understandable if you have an inherent fear of those things, but if you do it because you saw it in a movie, or you think it’s what’s expected of women, please hasten in joining us in the 21st century. Killing a bug does not a protector make.
    I expect my man to care for me, and shield me, but c’mon, his life matters too. Endangering it cause a random dude brushed against ‘the girls’ makes no sense to me. Ish happens in the real world, dust it off and keep it moving. What would you do if he wasn’t there? Don’t get a good man killed in defense of your barely bruised ego. I think about the dudes who protected their gf’s lives in the Aurora shooting, and I don’t know how to feel about it. I’d rather shove my man in the safest place possible and hope we both get through, rather than have him on top of me and dead.
    I won’t belabor the whole sharing bills part…noone with sense and the capacity for shame would dispute that. But I do think that women often date potential..it’s not ridiculous to get upset when we see you falling behind, and we know you can do better.
    Funny post, great read on this humid Lagos afternoon.

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

    1. I’ll play dumb…what bug? You see it and I don’t then you kill it like I’m supposed to fight air like Trey in Boyz in the Hood, you’ll be iight

    2. Luckily for me, I’m a big black dude who doesn’t dress like a 15 year old girl like others my age, the look alone makes one question even if I haven’t had a fight in a good 5-6 years. Either way aside from mean mug or letting these ninjas hold me back before something goes down, don’t expect me to defend your honor unless we married

    3. Like #1 I act like I don’t hear anything, Bae you tripping go to sleep. Or I just make something up, “like yeah my fridge does this thing when it makes that noise.” “but we at my house” “goodnight.”

    4. I’ll pay for things because it’s in my nature, I feel weird when the check comes and I gotta act like it’s not there, but I will get my moneys worth via errands pick me up something to eat on the way home, get my suit out the cleaners, buy me black ops II. You arent coming up off me

    5. There’s boys you can shape and mold into model men, they’re called sons. Women cannot tame the shrew but they will try anyway

    Also….

    Be completely unattractive to other women

    Read Minds

    Drop Everything

    sleep in the wet spot

    Always cosign even when they’re wrong

    • Larry

      "There's boys you can shape and mold into model men, they're called sons. Women cannot tame the shrew but they will try anyway"

      I can honestly say I never gave that perspective serious thought…but it's a valid assertion my friend. +1

    • http://twitter.com/SecretSweetLady @SecretSweetLady

      I. Died. LOL!!!

    • Betty-Alexandria

      LOL "but we in my house" "goodnight." I DIED. : )

    • Theresa

      Lol @ fight air like Trey. Classic!

  • Larry

    “They couldn’t make a movie called TAKEN about me. I am not Liam Neeson. If the terrorists take you, that autobiography will just be called TOOK, because that’s what you’ll be, took-en! I’ll mourn you on AC360 and cry with the best of them. Miss you, baby!”

    LMAOOO! #RealTears

  • BlueSteele

    The "Smile" line irritates my soul…my entire soul! As if I only have two facial expressions: smiling and other. Can I be in deep thought? Can I just relax my face? Can I look around the room? Equally irritating: Why you look so mad? (Thinking: I wasn't, I'm facebooking while enjoying my drink) Actual response: I was about to smile at the guy behind you, but you moved in the way.

    Works every time.

    • oh ok…

      Dayum! LOL!
      I honestly think thats just another type of "pick up" line. I get peeved too, but usually if I comply they start talking more and I get a lil' more peeved…lbs

      • BlueSteele

        LOL, that's why you have to hit him with a quick one-two. **Disclaimer: I have a little more a-hole in my system these days.**

    • http://twitter.com/SecretSweetLady @SecretSweetLady

      I know right!! Like I'm gon' smile right after my Nana died. Back off Ninja!

  • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jermaine-spradley/a-millennial-manifesto-jobs_b_956053.html Most

    "They couldn’t make a movie called TAKEN about me. I am not Liam Neeson. If the terrorists take you, that autobiography will just be called TOOK, because that’s what you’ll be…"

    Hilarious…
    My recent post Veterans Day

  • Lisa Harris

    This is hilarious! And I am in agreement with most of this, but I can’t budge on number 1. My man has to kill bugs, change lightbulbs and take out the trash. A girl’s gotta have standards, after all.
    Good post!

  • Mr. SD

    I'm sorry but the bug thing is a easy win for us guys. All I gotta do is kill a bug and I'm the mann??!! Perfect time to strike up a deal. Be like babe so I kill this bug and u give me halftime h#*d for the first week of the playoffs???!

    • BlueSteele

      -__-

      • Mr_SD

        im sayin Blue, when opportunity knocks….

        • BlueSteele

          Lol, you're a mess! Be prepared to get the straight face! Now if I asked you to go in on tuition…

        • Mr_SD

          If we married, no problem, i got 5 on it!

  • oh ok…

    I must be an awesome lady, bcuz I can do all but #5… I kill a bug and my man just shrugs.. eh, lol!
    Think its cuz I come from a single- parent family. Mom just trained me that way…
    Always got my pocket knife in tow!

    • oh ok…

      #4 oh yea…paying is cool & should be somewhat mutual. I always put down something to help out.

  • Slim Jackson

    I've laughed at the "tooken" joke like 10 times today.

    I spray Raid like bullets. Drive away from the carnage.
    My recent post slimjackson: Just discovered these Political Kombat videos -> President Obama Battles Donald Trump in Political Kombat <a href="http://t.co/GXuH058V” target=”_blank”>http://t.co/GXuH058V

    • BlueSteele

      Between that and "insecticons" I've been snickering all day.

  • Bree

    "PLEASE INFORM ME OF THIS INFORMATION BEFORE I PUT A RING ON IT!" ROFLMBAO……Good luck with that.

  • Bree

    Ladies, what are some other ridiculous expectations men have of women?
    1. To be perfect
    2. To cook, clean and iron just like their mama.
    3. To not fart or take a dump and it stink just like or as bad as theirs. What goes in comes out. When babies start eating table food their farts and poop stink like a grown person. What makes you think a woman who ate a bowl of chilli with onions and farts/"poots" and/or takes a dump won't stink……really…? Get over it. It's human.

    • James

      I’ve noticed more women than men make an issue out of a women’s bowels movements. I’m talking a high ratios here, 10:1.

      • Queue908

        Drop and flush all s-bombs to keep them off the radar entirely!

  • Bree

    Oh I forgot a few main things.
    4. To be cool with them cheating and lying and not be the least bit upset about it.
    5. To believe the bs and utterly ridiculous lies you feed us.
    6. To perform "wifely duties" on a regular and consistent basis before you put a ring on it and we become your wives. "U dun bumped ya head."

  • GoldenG

    #1 Is so true because I just can't do bugs. But the kill killers and investigate strange noises I wouldn't make him do that if he sees me running he better catch on cause theres no sense in both of us dying or getting attacked lol. #5 I don't see how anyone can expect that out of anyone that is just unreal, and unreasonable; But funny read!

  • MissLia

    I seriously laughed when I read #1-3, but the whole list is absolutely spot on.

    But with #1, you might not have to get up and kill the bug for me but you better not be standing there watching me do it. I had a guy close me in the room with a huge spider all because he didn't want it to get out into the rest of the house. I killed it alright, but I sure did look at him like a punk for about a good two or three days and never forgot about it…

    With #2, I don't want him going out there getting himself killed on some bull. It's not that serious. However, he better not be sitting there watching me about to get got without attempting to help me. I would certainly have his back…

    With #3, I'm cool with him locking a door or whatever. But if it sounds like somebody's downstairs or down the hallway and I don't know them then he needs to be formulating a plan B for our escape…

    Number 5 on page two is really the one that I think speaks to me. I can't stand it when a man plays dumb or tries to make a woman out to be the crazy one when he effs up. It actually makes a woman's reaction ten times bigger than it would ordinarily be.

  • Slim Jackson

    Oh I meant to say for numbers 1 and 2:

    I been sleeping with a baseball next to my bed ever since I started watching Criminal Minds and low budget horror films a few years ago.

    If I hear a strange knock and see the door knob jiggle, I am not going and putting my eye to the door to see who it is. That'll just have to be one call I miss.
    My recent post slimjackson: If you loved Mortal Kombat, you'll love that. Hilarious.

  • Streetz

    My old boss used to call me in her office to kill random bugs.

    At first I thought it was racism. After reading this, I think it was sexism and racism.

    Thanks WIS!
    My recent post Random Thoughts (A.K.A. the “I aint post in a minute”, post)

    • Magg

      *tears of laughter*

    • Bree

      it was probably just sexism. If u were white it would be the same.

  • BlueSteele

    Ladies, what are some other ridiculous expectations men have of women?

    "Submit" to them. Dude, you realize that was intended for husbands, right? Submit to a random just because you're a man? #Wheretheydothatat

  • Jazzy Jay

    Y’all owe me a new laptop for making me spit my water out. HAHAHA That “took-EN” and “Insecticon” had me ROLLING!

  • Magg

    I can't get over the "took-en" joke… oh LAWD!!!

  • msdebbs

    I'll give you #2, 4 and 5 but I can't compromise #1 and 3 you just have to chuck those up to your manhood cause I aint killing no bugs or going into a dark abyss to see whats poppin off in the kitchen.

  • msdebbs

    That #2 aggravates my soul. I never understand why random men think its okay to tell a woman to smile….nigga I aint taking pictures…wtf?? #5 is true to. I remember I let my ex stay with me for a little while until he could get back on his feet and my sister who has a key to my crib walked in and this dude had some random chick sitting on my brand new leather couch while I was at work. Dude had the nerve to be all shocked and surprised when I told him the get the hell out. Really???

  • Naija

    lmao. This guy.

  • Pingback: La Scandaleuse » Message à toutes celles qui veulent changer un homme

  • http://lifebetweenthesheets.blogspot.ca/ Morgan

    I loved this post, but I think I loved the comments more!
    Trying to stifle belly laughs from behind my cubical walls :s

    …I'm dying!

    (don't worry not really)
    My recent post

  • http://twitter.com/SecretSweetLady @SecretSweetLady

    In my experience?

    5 Ridiculous Things Women Expect from Men

    1. Him to be (and stay) buff and beautiful while you look like a shoe
    2. Him to never hit BACK if you keep slapping and punching him whenever you'r irritated or annoyed.
    3. Him to change into a responsible and commited husband-to-be if your hook-up situation produced a pregnancy
    4. Him to change because you took some cooking classes
    5. Him to marry you because everybody+ your momma knows he's yours

    5 Ridiculous Things Men Expect from Women

    1. To never smell
    2. To be perfect in all 5 main areas (body, face, cooking, tolerance-level and sweetness) while also being indepented but submissive at the same time. (This ain't the Sims, Ninja!)
    3. To never have to tell his overprotective mother to stay out of his relationship
    4. To LOVE to watch sports with him
    5. To never fake orgasms but also not complain about sex

    Just my two cents

    • http://twitter.com/AdrienneInLove @AdrienneInLove

      Couldn't read past #1 .. A shoe!! Rotfl

  • http://www.lcsflyers.com Anthony Logan

    if this list is serious OP is a fairy

  • Brittany Geneva

    But you should kill bugs. That's not ridiculous and I've dated guys who did it! Y'all reinforced the expectation!

  • Ms K

    I pretty much dont do any of these things lol.

    Well for #1, I will run around the house looking for all kinds of sprays and utensils to kill whatever bug it is, even ants. The whole process may take about 20mins so honey you will probably get tired of waiting and do it for me. But I wont ask you to do it, you’ll do it for your own sanity.

    #2 I wont be mad if we both just wait it out or run if a killer may or may not be coming for us or standing near us. If i think i can take him, i might try. Even if we run and go to different places, we just need to identify a safe place to meet up, my love. As far as social settings like clubs or parties, I honestly dont do crowds and I have never gone to any clubs or parties and I’m cool with that lol. So we wont have to worry about anybody brushing up on me or whatever. But if the situation comes up where I need to be stood up for, I’d appreciate it.

    #3 my hearing is very fine so I might hear something you dont. If I say “I think i hear something” and you dont hear it, I’ll prolly tell you what I heard then I’ll go investigate. However, you ARE required to grab the closest weapon, follow behind me and use that thang with some force and authority if needed. If all else fails, we’ll both just die together or ignore the sound if it didnt seem threatening lol.

    #4 Im not the independent woman type but I’m not one of those women who will slide the check to your side of the table every time. This is my general rule: whoever invites the other person is responsible for paying. If I call you and say hey let’s go to ____, I will pay for you. When its my turn to pay I wont even make you get cheap stuff lol. Get what you want. And I’m cool with us paying for ourselves when we’re out. Just gimme a heads up, Sir.

    #5 I was guilty of this and now I know the error of my ways lol. I am more interested in what’s right in front of me and I expect him to be the same way because if I change anything its of my own choice and he should be allowed the same courtesy. Nobody ever knows how someone will be in the future, we just have dreams/expectations. Now if he starts going a different way than what I find compatible, I’ll let him know how I feel. If he changes, it should be because he knows that’s something that will make him a better person independent of me and my wants.

    Sorry such a long response but enjoyed the post =]

  • Betty-Alexandria

    1. Kill Bugs.-yes, I'll admit, when I was younger, I TOTALLY EXPECTED GUYS TO KILL BUGS. They're icky D: But since I've been going to school down south, I'm less afraid and just do what I have to do.

    2. Kill Killers.- LOL, maybe not kill a killer, but as I've gotten older, I guess I think it's cute when a guy is willing to fight for you. But this also contradicts my "don't do anything dangerous" phrase. So, I'll put it like this; if someone was trying to kill us, I would like for us both to at least do something, even if it's hold each other.

    3. Investigate Strange Noises.- NOW WHY WOULD I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME?!?!?! That just doesn't make any sense. Unless we think it's a person in the house, I'm not going to make you get up and go anywhere by yourself where you could potentially get KILLED. One reason; because then I'd be sad. The other reason? Because I'd be next. -____-,

    4. PAY FOR EVERYTHING.- I have never been this kind of girl and I never will be. I'm the kind of person who likes to go halfway or at least pay for what I got. I come with money, and it's simply a treat if he says "I got it". And don't get me wrong, sometimes you don't have it, but have enough decency to want to pay the person back, even if it isn't in money.

    5. Change into the Perfect Man.- That's just stupid. For years I tried to be the perfect woman, (well girl at some point in my life lol). It just isn't happening. Yes, you should always always ALWAYS strive to be better. And that's what I try to do and look for in a companion, but I do not expect you to be perfect. You aren't Jesus, and that's ok. Don't get me wrong. There are certain things that I just don't tolerate, but the older I get, the more understanding I am of people. We all have flaws. : )

    So, I don't think I'm horrible lol. Do I pass?

  • Tbaxley

    Too funny for words!! Lmao reading this!

  • CryLov

    Omg!!! I don't think I've laughed this much in MONTHS, hilarious post!!!… However, the male described in this post will NEVER be attractive in my eyes… This type of male is equivalent to a female who belches out loud in public, passes gas then laughs about it without excusing her, sits with her legs open and scratches her pelvic area then smells it….AND STILL WANT TO BE CALLED A LADY.

  • http://lesbianbrooklynite.wordpress.com/ Lesbian Brooklynite

    This was great, lol and funny!

  • http://www.opinionatedmale.com cortonio

    I think expecting a woman to cook, isn't too unreasonable. It should be a compromise however, If I am not adept at cooking, (outside of your customary breakfast) and I share the cleaning responsibilities, help fix things around the house–whether by my own hand or paying someone to do it, and I am working a full time job and holding down the majority or at least 1/2 the expenses, then shyt, why not have that expectation. It's not like I am asking for filet mignon', or lobster. Damn. A starch, a meat, veggies, and an optional dessert shouldn't be too much to ask. period. As far as expecting her to stay the same weight…no that's unreasonable but don't start our relationship weighing 140 and 6 months to a year later you're over 200 lbs. I don't mind meat on the bones but c'mon now.
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  • too through

    So as of 2013 killing bugs is officially off the list. It is starting to come down to what do we really need you for anymore. Men are now prissier than women are. Your role as a protector is part of being a real man. This topic to some maybe funny or in just, but what it’s really saying is our men are turning into whining and complaining individuals.

    I will agree, it is naive for a women to go into a relationship believing she can change a man. In addition, if you are in a relationship you should share the finances. Both of things are serious and have the potential to destroy a relationship.

    Really, cut the crap, why do so many of you refuse to be real MEN anymore???__

    • guest

      Excactly what I was sitting here thinking. This generation of males (notice I did not say men) are like women. Needy, Whinny and don't want to even kill a bug for a girl anymore! no wonder they are on the low! in large numbers….

  • chelee

    expects me to tell him everything!!! and i mean everything.. but yet when i ask him something, i get the reply "it has nothing to do with you….so then im like wtf???

  • Tlynnsmith

    I think men and women need to be with folks who support their convictions. That's the bottom line. It's much easier than trying to challenge someone about their "ridiculous expectations". Yeah…I expect a man to kill bugs, protect me, investigate strange noises, etc. Why? Because I was brought up in a household where those things were done, among other things. It's what I know. As far as always paying, all the men I've been with pay…always, and with zero whining/lamenting. Maybe there's some generational differences, not sure.

    If a man isn't willing to do those things for me, then he won't be my man. It's that simple, and it ain't that serious. I think it's ridiculous trying to make someone over. Get with someone who's willing to live up to your expectations. I've never met a man who wasn't, so….there are men who don't have a problem with most of those expectations, and I'm more than willing to pass on those who do. Matter of fact, it's a no-brainer

    • b.p.

      "As far as always paying, all the men I've been with pay…always…. If a man isn't willing…."

      Maybe you grasp the various ironies in this statement. But, unless you're officially a working girl, they're hardly flattering.

      "Get with someone who's willing to live up to your expectations. I've never met a man who wasn't…."

      Maybe you're very unlucky, and all of your men have died–since they all had lived up to your expectations. Or maybe your expectations, despite whatever "generational differences" you have in mind, are very limited and short term.

      In any case, such an approach might not be sustainable for women who hope to deal longer term with men of value.

      • onix

        i call bullshit

  • Born2bmajor

    kmsl !!!! too funny !!!